If you’ve ever struggled with arguments or disagreements, then do we have the why are we yelling show for you. Today I’ll be talking with Buster Benson, entrepreneur, former product leader at Amazon, Twitter, Slack, and Patreon, the CEO of 750Words.com, and the author of a fun and fantastic look at disagreements, “Why Are We Yelling?” And that’s just what I want to talk with him about today, about why in the world are we yelling?, and the art of productive disagreement. Key Points Discussed: Why did you go from Silicon Valley to the art of disagreements? (02:49) The art of productive disagreement: Buster’s new superpower (03:44) What is a productive disagreement? (05:18) Ruinous empathy and how it can create disastrous situations (07:20) What’s the backfire effect and what’s going on with kitty cat? (09:56) What’s the importance of asking, “Is this about what’s true, what’s meaningful, or what’s useful?” (11:10) Should we be trying to win arguments? (15:15) What does it mean to acknowledge the shadow or projections? (15:58) The first step in the art of disagreement (18:47) Sliced bagels and what they have to with anxiety (19:34) The pink train named Rosy, our internal voices and the importance of self-talk (23:55) Developing an honest bias and getting a front seat to the interesting person that is Jeff Bezos (26:53) Challenging our beliefs and realizing how we are missing something today so we can be smarter tomorrow (32:15) Having productive conversations by asking questions that invite surprising answers (35:40) What is nut picking and why are we wired that we need to win? (40:31) What can you tell us about monkey paws and guns? (44:48) Cultivating neutral spaces to be mindful of the environments we’re in (46:11) Excepting reality and then participating in it (49:39) What have you been teaching your kids about productive disagreements? (51:55) How disagreeing on one thing a day can make a relationship stronger (54:33) Additional Resources: www.BusterBenson.com Buster on Twitter Why Are We Yelling By Buster Benson Radical Candor By Kim Scott Willful Blindness By Margaret Heffernan ……. For free meditations, weekly tips, stories, and similar shows visit: www.InspireNationShow.com To support the show and get even more great tools, tips, and behind-the-scenes access, visit: www.Patreon.com/InspireNation And to follow Inspire Nation (and the lives of Michael and Jessica) on Instagram, go to www.instagram.com/inspirenationlive
This episode features a pair of interviews on a similar topic: First, Stephanie Lepp (host of the Reckonings podcast) discusses what she's learned from interviewing people who had a serious change of heart, or "reckoning," including a former Neo-nazi and a former sex offender. What causes a reckoning? Second, Buster Benson (author of Why Are We Yelling? The art of productive disagreement) shares his tips for coming away from a disagreement feeling more alive -- for example, don't just focus on the literal arguments the other person is making; drill deeper. Buster and Julia debate whether there's a downside to approaching disagreements emotionally, rather than intellectually.
My guest today is Buster Benson. In addition to having a fancy alliterative name, he has written an extraordinary book, called "Why are We Yelling? The Art of Productive Disagreement. You can find it on his website. How good is this book? Here's what former guest Seth Godin has to say about it: "This is a life-changing book. Read it three times and then give a copy to anyone you care about. It will make things better." Regular listeners know the weight that endorsement carries. In our conversation Buster shares questions you can use today to improve the quality of your disagreements while reducing the stress that comes with arguments. We discuss the difference between being polite showing someone that you care about them while disagreeing, and much more. Before I go, two announcements: 1. I have a new, grown up email address. Try it out: Email me at my new address! (Joe at onepercentbetterproject dot com) 2. I have been lucky to associate with great people. When I began this project, I had no idea where it would lead. One place I am ecstatic that it led is here: YouthBaseballSchool A one-stop shop for baseball instruction. I accepted an invitation to be a contributor, and I couldn't be more excited. Please share that affiliate link with the baseball fan in your life. I cannot thank you enough for all the support! As always, thanks for listening! --JF
Identity and belief inform many of the decisions, conversations, and biases that define our lives. In today's episode, we talk with Buster Benson about cognitive bias, identity, belief, and productive disagreement. Linkshttps://busterbenson.comAbout Buster BensonBuster Benson is an entrepreneur and a former product leader at Amazon, Twitter, Slack, and Patreon. He's now editor of and writer for the “Better Humans” publication on Medium, creator of 750Words.com which brings private journaling to a safe place on the web, and developer of Fruitful Zone, an online platform facilitating healthy discourse. He is also the author of the Cognitive Bias cheat sheet with over one million reads.