You probably don’t write much with a pen and paper anymore. Most of us type. However, there are a lot of benefits to writing the old-fashion way. I begin this episode with some great reasons why you should write more and type less. (http://mentalfloss.com/article/78182/4-reasons-write-hand-rather-type)Want to be more likeable and attract people to you? Some people are really good at it. They have the ability to draw people to them – almost as if it were magic. How do they do it? Jack Schafer knows. Jack is a former FBI Special Agent who mastered the techniques of making building rapport and getting people to like him in order to get them to confess to crimes and reveal personal information. He is the author of the book, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over (https://amzn.to/2DloBK1) and he joins me to share the techniques and the science behind them.Do you like to dance? I hope so because it is apparently really good for your brain. Listen as I explain how dancing and brain health are connected. (http://www.medicaldaily.com/benefits-dancing-neurodegenerative-disease-humanbrain-380835?rel=most_read4)It is called the Goodness Paradox. Simply put, it is the fact that human beings can be so kind and thoughtful on one hand and so evil and aggressive on the other. Harvard anthropology professor Richard Wrangham, comes on the podcast to discuss this fascinating quirk of human behavior that allowed Adolf Hitler to be such a monster and at the same time an animal lover and delightful party host. He reveals that as species we are actually less aggressive than other animals – and we seem to be getting even less aggressive than we used to be. Richard is author of the book The Goodness Paradox (https://amzn.to/2DlF0y5). This Week’s Sponsors-ADT. To get a secure smart home designed just for you go to www.ADT.com-BetterHelp. Get help with a counselor you will love at www.BetterHelp.com/SYSK-Ollie. For 60% off your first order plus a free bag of dog treats go to www.myollie.com/try/something-Hers. For $10 off your first order (while supplies last) go to www.ForHers.com/something-Capterra To find the best software for your business visit www.Capterra.com/something-Capital One. What's in your wallet? www.CapitalOne.com
Our guest is former FBI Special Agent, author, and professor – Dr. Jack Schafer. In the past, Dr. Schafer has developed spy recruitment techniques, interviewed terrorists, and trained agents in the art of interrogation and persuasion. Today, he shares strategies, techniques, and tools you can employ to get people to like you for a minute or a lifetime.CHEAT SHEETWhat is the friendship formula and how does it increase other people’s ability to like you?What are three “friend signals” you can practice to project likeability?What signals can you look for to know whether or not good rapport has been established?What is a “curiosity hook,” and how can you use it to attract others with common interests?If the golden rule of friendship is to make people feel good about themselves, how do you go about doing that?How do you use empathic statements to listen more, talk less, and still gain interest in the conversation?Why learning the C.A.R.E acronym is important to ensure you are maintaining focus on others – and not yourself.This episode is full of tools for becoming a more likable person, and it’s important to remember the words of Dr. Schafer when applying them in our daily lives:“No one tool works for all circumstances, but for all circumstances, there is a tool that works. And it’s the time and circumstance that determine what tool to use.”Talkspace has over 2,000 licensed therapists who are experienced in addressing life challenges we all face. To match with a perfect therapist for a fraction of the price of traditional therapy, go to talkspace.com/charm, and use the code CHARM to get $45 off your first month and show your support for this show.Acuity Scheduling is your online assistant, working 24/7 to fill your schedule. The AoC family can go to AcuityScheduling.com/AOC to get 45-days free — that’s over three times as long as the standard trialDesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design — even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project.ResourcesThe Like Switch by Dr. Jack SchaferDr. Schafer’s Blog in Psychology TodayKeep up with The Art of CharmThe Art of Charm ChallengeThe Art of Charm InsidersThe Art of Charm BootcampBest of The Art of Charm PodcastThe Art of Charm ToolboxOn social media: Instagram | Twitter | FacebookEnjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience.We tried something new with show notes this week. Did you notice the condensed format? Let us know what you think here.
Dr. Jack Schafer is a retired FBI special agent who specialized in behavior analysis and trying to get people to confess to their crimes. In his book, The Like Switch, he shares his proven strategies on how to instantly read people and influence how they perceive you so that you can turn strangers into friends in any aspect of your life, whether that be in a job interview or on a first date. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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