Minx M. Podcast Image

Minx M.

Cunning Minx is a poly and kinky sex-positive educator and activist. She is also the producer and host of the Polyamory Weekly podcast.
Recent episodes featuring Minx M.
577 When love IS a zero sum game
Polyamory Weekly
A listener asks what to do when love does feel like a zero sum game; his wife took a lover, and our listener felt like he got even less sex than before. 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com 1:00 Intro and host chat Minx recorded an episode of D&D Dads podcast with J.R. Blackwell, but the podcast hasn’t yet launched. Stay tuned! We had fun in Copenhagen! 3:00 Poly in the news Polyamory Works for Them in the New York Times “TV’s Most Interesting Polyamorous Relationship,” says TV Guide about Siren 9:00 When love IS a zero-sum game Listener Micah writes in to ask what to do now that his wife brought up the idea of poly, started dating someone half her age, and is now having much less sex with Micah. If we are painting a rosy, easy picture of poly, we need to change, because the emotional development required for polyamory (or any relationship) takes time and effort. Lusty Guy wonders about the use of the word “affair”—is this a reflection of your jealousy, or do you feel she wasn’t being honest? The issue is likely some preexisting issue in your relationship (perhaps the libido difference, perhaps something else). This sounds like “relationship broken, add more people.” To strengthen your relationship, have an honest conversation with your wife. Stop comparing before and after the metamour and start talking about the behaviors you want to see to feel better in your relationship. And ask for the same of her. 19:00 Happy poly moment A monogamous listener writes in to share a happy not-poly moment about not panicking when her fiancé shared that he was attracted to a colleague, and our listener could accept it without jealousy or drama! 20:45 Feedback Soft Shell Crabby wrote in a follow up after we address her question in episode 574 Is it OK to ask to meet my metamour (spoiler: it helped, and they are better now!) Reama says some really nice things about the quality of our content. 23:40 Thank you! Thanks to our new Poly Weekly Playmates, Mirjam, Syncione, Quinlan, and Melvin! 24:10 How to make this podcast better Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”
576 Will poly help emotionally unavailable partners
Polyamory Weekly
A listener asks if her new boyfriend is emotionally unavailable, will poly help? 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com 2:10 Poly in the news Unicorn hunting spreads as Vice gets it Four clear glasses frames that say “I haven’t tried polyamory, but I’ve watched Vice documentaries on it” Google Calendar is down, which means you can do anything you want, according to Twitter 7:50 Is poly a solution for emotionally unavailable partners? A listener writes in to ask if polyamory is possible when her partner seems to be currently emotionally unavailable. Our listener  met a guy five months ago, when she was a newly-single mom not looking for commitment. They never talked about what their relationship was, but our listener knew she wanted something casual and honest. Then he planned an all-day romantic date, felt relationshippy, which followed up by not reading her text messages, which led her to feel insecure and question her own behavior. They talked, and he mentioned he didn’t want to replicate a previous codependent relationship, and things were fin for a while. Then polyamory came up in a dinner with friends, and he mentioned it might work if she was his primary, but he wasn’t involved with any others. Good for you for realizing both you and he have boundaries and needs that need to be considered Short answer is no, a relationship can't be healthy if both you and he are more concerned about enforcing boundaries than letting the relationship develop organically This falls into the "relationship broken; add more people" paradigm, which typically does not work out well This is a great opportunity for both of you to negotiate the relationship you each need. Ask for what you want (not to negatively affect your daughter but to still feel appreciated) and listen to what he wants (to have good quality time and lots of space).  Both of you should ask for specific behaviors--what specific things can he do make you feel appreciated? what specific things can you do to make sure he has "space"?  And one last thing--relationship conversations are best in person. Avoid having these discussions over text if at all possible. 15:30 Feedback Laura from episode 588 When to give up on polyamory wrote in to give us a happy update, a year later! 19:30 Happy poly moment Laura ends up her feedback by sharing a generous happy poly moment on the part of her husband A poly newbie in Germany shares a happy poly moment about her partner and metamour providing a bathroom shelf and toothbrush for her! 24:00 How to make this podcast better Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”
575 We love Allena Gabosch
Polyamory Weekly
Celebrating the amazing sex-positive activist Allena Gabosch, who gave us a big scare last week. 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com Last week, we nearly lost an amazing sex-positive educator to cancer. Allena Gabosch has pulled through, so this week’s episode is a replay of my 2010 interview with Allena. In Bawdy Storyelling podcast episode 78, Dixie de la Tour shares her feelings about nearly losing Allena Gabosch. 4:30 Interview: Allena Gabosch The lovely and talented Allena Gabosch, director of Seattle’s Center for Sex Positive Culture, shares the origin story of the Center in its current state and her own experiences with polyamory. Recorded in 2010 from Paradise Unbound! 50:25 Poly in the news Modern Family: More Courts Allowing Three Parents of One Child Polyamorous parenting: the surprising benefits of the ultimate modern family 55:30 Thank you! Welcome Camilla to the Poly Weekly Playmates! 56:00 How to make this podcast better Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”
574 Is it OK to ask to meet my metamour?
Polyamory Weekly
My boyfriend and I transitioned from a don't-ask-don't-tell relationship to full honest, transparent polyamory. Now I want to meet my formerly DADT metamour when she comes to visit him next month. Is that OK? 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com We’ll be in Copenhagen next month; let us know what we should do/see! 1:50 Poly in the news Studies showing the best stats on how many people have practiced non-monogamy at some point in their lives. Around 20-21% have practiced consensual non-monogamy at some point in their lives; 4% of relationships are open in some way; and 4-5% of the population of the United States was currently involved in a CNM relationship Keep in mind that 5% of the current US population identifies at GLBT, with 8.2% of millennials self-identifying at GLBT 6:10 Is it OK to ask to meet my metamour? Soft Shell Crabby writes in to say she’s 43 and her boyfriend is 42, and they’ve been together for four years. They did a don’t-ask-don’t-tell (DADT) style of nonmonogamy for a while, but they ended up becoming so deeply involved that they talked about being more open, honest, and transparent with each other. He confessed that he’d been poly before but had avoided bringing it up to avoid the tough conversations that would inevitably follow. He also has a pre-arranged sexy-time visit set up with a girlfriend who was flying in from New York, and Soft Shell Crabby now wants to meet that metamour. She asks if it’s unreasonable to ask for to meet her formerly DADT metamour, and by the way what should she do about the fact that the metamour is cheating on her husband with SSC’s boyfriend? SSC feels like her boyfriend gets to call all the shots. Everything you feel is reasonable and OK. He isn’t getting to call all the shots. You get to call your shots; your boyfriend gets to call his shot; your metamour gets to call her shots. It’s not a good idea to ask a partner to deliver a message to another partner. Direct communication is better. It IS a good idea to ask for what you want (to meet her), with the understanding that she has the right to say no. Is there something within the power of your partner to give that would alleviate your feelings? Do YOU want a threesome/group sex like he’s having with her? Ask him to arrange it for you! How do you forgive your boyfriend for this unethical behavior? First, focus on your limits, not his behavior. Can you be in a relationship with someone who facilitates cheating? If not, you have the right to leave. Second, the way you “forgive your man for conducting his relationships in an unethical manner” is to exercise understanding of the pattern of behavior (he also hid his desire for poly from you) and to exercise compassion. Third, most people have cheated at some point. Consider exercising more compassion and less judgment. This is a good time to decide what you need at the very minimum in terms of contact from your metamours. You may need a higher or lower level of contact, but this is a good time to explore that and figure out what you need to be happy. 19:15 Happy Poly Moment Johnny shared a moment in which he picked out his girlfriend’s birthday gift with his wife. And his girlfriend’s husband reached out to Johnny as a poly newbie to see if Johnny needed anything for the big birthday get together! 20:30 Feedback Jessica gives feedback on episode 573 about using the term “nerd blackface.” We address two concerns: (1) that by using the term “blackface” to refer to nerds, we devalue the power of the original term, which we agree with and (2) that the term doesn’t apply to The Big Bang Theory, which we disagree with. The latter is based on a large group of people who self-identify as nerds and do find the term applies, and we are not comfortable dismissing the critique of that group of people. 25:25 Thank you! Welcome Camilla to the Poly Weekly Playmates! 25:45 How to make this podcast better Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”
573 Should I live with my metamour
Polyamory Weekly
My metamour and I get along great, and I need a roommate. Will it muck things up if I ask them to move in? 0:00 Introduction and host chat Under 18? Stop listening now and visit http://www.scarleteen.com 2:10 Poly in the news Who really practices polyamory? In Rolling Stone Leonard’s mom goes poly on Big Bang Theory 9:55 Topic: Should I live with my metamour? Olipoly writes in about the possibility of living with her metamour; she doesn’t want to live with her partner and gets along with them great. She’s considering asking her metamour to move in to the room that her roommate is moving out of. Don’t ask us; ask them! Ask them all the questions you just asked us and think through the possibilities to discover hard limits. Practice by spending a weekend together. Treat them professionally, like a client you need to keep happy. Get a dishwasher. 16:15 Happy Poly Moment Bunz in Knoxville originally had a negative impression of polyamory. But she and her husband read, talked out it, did exercises, and even started a meetup group in Knoxville! 18:00 Feedback Mike gives feedback on episode 572 about one person not taking responsibility for someone else’s emotions. 23:35 Thank you! Welcome Susan to the Poly Weekly Playmates! 23:45 How to make this podcast better Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts!  Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”
Share Profile
Are you Minx? Verify and edit this page to your liking.
Stats
Episode Count
572
Podcast Count
4
Total Airtime
1 week, 5 days