Robert Weiss PhD, LCSW (CA LCSW 17610) is an expert in the treatment of adult intimacy disorders and related addictions, most notably sex, porn, and relationship addictions along with co-occurring substance and sex addictions. A clinical sexologist and practicing psychotherapist, Dr. Rob frequently serves as a subject matter expert for major media outlets including CNN, HLN, MSNBC, OWN, The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, and NPR, among others. Dr. Rob is the author of Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, Out of the Doghouse, Sex Addiction 101, and Cruise Control, among other books. He blogs regularly for Psychology Today and Psych Central. His podcast, Sex, Love, & Addiction, is rated as a Top 10 Addiction Podcast. He also hosts a weekly live no-cost Webinar with Q&A on SexandRelationshipHealing website. A skilled clinical educator, Dr. Rob routinely provides training to therapists, hospitals, psychiatric organizations, and even the US military.
Jenna Riemersma is the Clinical Director of The Atlanta Center for Relational Healing. She is a teaching faculty member for the International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP). Jenna holds a Master's degree in Public Policy from Harvard University and a Masters’ Degree in Professional Counseling from Richmont Graduate University. Jenna is the recent author of Altogether You, which better explains IFS therapy and how every part of you is meant to be (and should not be shamed for it).   TAKEAWAYS: [3:00] What is Jenna’s book about and why did she write it? [5:15] How do we best manage or process the different parts of ourselves? [7:15] We each have a core or a deep self within us. It is whole and it consists of the 8 C’s. However, our different parts (traumas) jump up and obstruct our access to our deep self. [10:55] Dr. Rob shares an example to better understand what Jenna means. [14:30] How do you bring healing to your different parts to become connected to your core self? [15:50] Why do we have such high relapse rates in addiction? [18:50] When we live in our core self, we instinctively embrace all parts. [21:45] Rage and sex addiction are not okay, but the part underneath it all is what we’re trying to help: the individual. [24:10] We all have parts at war within ourselves. For addicts, it might be they want to act out sexually and at the same time, they desperately want to be faithful to their partner. [28:00] IFS is applicable not for addiction, but for relationships and conflict. [33:15] How does MDMA help people with complex PTSD?   RESOURCES:  The Porn Panic: Is Porn a ‘Public Health Crisis’? Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men  Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Connect with Jenna Riemersma: Jennariemersma.com Jenna’s book: Altogether You   QUOTES: “The more effective way to bring healing to a part is by recognizing this is a wonderful part that’s gotten stuck in a very damaging role.” “It’s really about befriending the parts of us of which we are the most ashamed and the parts we feel are the most unacceptable.” “All parts of them are welcome and there’s another way besides shaming ourselves that we can heal.” “We all have parts at war and they look different in all of us.”
Dr. Jamie Marich is an EMDR therapy master trainer and the author of several books including, Trauma and the Twelve Steps and Trauma Made Simple. On this week’s show, Dr. Jamie discusses the healing process between the Twelve Step program and addressing your trauma. She also discusses her philosophy with the Twelve Step program and why it’s important to update the language in it to help people grow and recover.    TAKEAWAYS: [3:00] Dr. Jamie has recently revised one of her books, Trauma and the Twelve Steps. [4:00] People who have worked heavily in the trauma world had a low opinion about the Twelve Steps and vice versa. Why is that? [5:45] Wounds can come in all shapes and sizes, but healing can take on all different forms. [9:00] People use the Twelve Steps as commands, but Dr. Jamie has always seen it as suggested steps. [13:35] The wound itself is not the issue in trauma. It’s how it gets addressed and healed that is. [14:20] A lot of people think they have dealt with their trauma, but they really haven’t. [19:35] Admitting your powerlessness over alcohol or your addiction does not mean you are a powerless person. [21:45] We have to be willing to update the language with the times. The Twelve Steps was written in the 1930s. [28:30] Trauma is never fully healed, but it does evolve. [32:30] We have to validate ourselves, the reality of what’s happening, and we have to validate each other, and then we have to challenge it. [35:35] Is it true we will never truly ‘thrive’ in life?   RESOURCES:  The Porn Panic: Is Porn a ‘Public Health Crisis’? Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men  Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Connect with Dr. Jamie: Dr. Jamie Marich  Dr. Jamie’s Book: Trauma and the 12 Steps, Revised and Expanded: An Inclusive Guide to Enhancing Recovery  Traumamadesimple.com Instituteforcreativemindfulness.com Jamie Marich on Twitter  QUOTES: “Why is trauma not the problem? The wound itself is not the issue. It’s how does it get addressed, how does it get healed, and what is the existing system of the person experiencing it.” “There’s a lot of people who think they’ve dealt with their trauma or it hasn’t affected them, but they really haven’t.” “A principle I teach in trauma-informed care is there is always a modification, and I think more people would be opened to the twelve steps if we allowed for that.” “After everything you’ve been through, it’s no wonder you’ve become an alcoholic, what are you going to do about it now?”
Michelle Holleman is a Sex Addiction Therapist based out of Charlotte, North Carolina. Michelle councils pre-teens and teenagers about their porn addiction habits and teaches children the difference between reality and fiction. Young children are being exposed to porn and it can deeply impact their brain. Michelle shares seven tips parents can use to have a healthy conversation with their children about porn, and why they need to talk about it with them; not avoid it.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:45] Who is Michelle and what does she do?  [3:45] Michelle works with a lot of teens who get caught with porn on their school computer.  [6:25] Usually when Michelle gets called in, parents are very concerned. Michelle tries to calm them down and normalize the situation.  [9:35] Anything that can turn into porn, will be turned into porn, which means that there are pornographic cartoons out there.  [12:00] Parents are very bad at talking to their children about sex. They mostly explain how babies get made, but not the act itself.  [13:35] Locking down your child’s phone doesn’t solve the underlying problem. If it’s not at home, they’ll be exposed to it through their friends.  [18:15] How do the conversations differ between a pre-teen child vs. teenager about the conversation of looking at porn?  [21:25] Between the ages of 8 and 16, 90% of children have seen porn by that age.  [22:45] Porn changes our children’s brains.  [24:15] It’s important to tell the truth when talking to your children. [28:45] Don’t punish your child for looking at porn, it sends the wrong message and they will try to hide it from you.  [32:55] The real problem with porn is that it takes the intimacy and connection in sex away. RESOURCES:  The Porn Panic: Is Porn a ‘Public Health Crisis’? Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men  Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Connect with Michelle: Lifehealingcounseling.com & LinkedIn  QUOTES: “The parents get called in and then they start to find out how much porn is on the computer, and that’s where it becomes alarming.” “There are ways we can teach our kids early on about pornography and the difference between porn and healthy sex, which includes intimacy.” “The average age kids are actually seeing porn is around 9-years old the first time they see it and the biggest consumers of porn are boys ages 12-17.” “Between the ages of 8 and 16, 90% of children have seen porn by that age.”
Dr. Louise Stanger is an Ivy League Award winner (2019 Interventionist of the Year from DB Resources in London and McLean Hospital – an affiliate of Harvard), educated social worker, popular author, internationally renowned clinician, interventionist and speaker and an expert on mental health, addiction, process disorders, and chronic pain. In this episode, Dr. Louise provides insight as to how families can best cope and provide support when it comes to a loved one’s addiction.    TAKEAWAYS: [2:45] I can’t stand my family, but I can’t live without them. [6:55] Dr. Louise’s family was very successful in their careers. However, they all had underlying problems with their mental health.  [8:15] We can’t turn back time and be 4 again to get our needs met, but even as we grow into adults, we have cravings to get our needs met from our family.  [9:00] Sometimes we have to grieve the fact that we never got our needs met by our parents.  [10:55] When it comes to our relationships, we might have to live without our loved ones in order for us to fully grow.  [12:00] Why is it hard for us to not see the abuse happening to us?  [15:20] Your unwillingness to change can be the cause of stalled progress. You don’t have to change the way you love someone, but by changing the behaviors/actions around that person can help them progress in their own therapy and healing.  [16:45] What does a good intervention look like?  [23:20] As a family member, it’s very important to take care of yourself spiritually and emotionally.  [25:00] When an addict comes back from therapy, why can’t it just all go back to the way it was?  [26:50] Have you ever said to yourself: ‘If he/she would just fix themselves, everything would be fine.’ Dr. Louise offers advice on how to better approach this.  [29:20] We don’t hear what we don’t want to hear. This is why having an outside/expert opinion matters because it allows you to hear what your spouse has been saying to you for years for the very first time.    RESOURCES:  The Porn Panic: Is Porn a ‘Public Health Crisis’? Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men  Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Connect with Dr. Louise: Website & Learn to Thrive Call Dr. Louise: 619-507-1699 The Definitive Guide to Addiction Interventions: A Collective Strategy by Dr. Louise Stanger   QUOTES: “People don’t call me unless their hearts are hurting and there’s some kind of event or crisis that happened with their loved one.” “Relationships with mothers are tough. Like many of us, we are people pleasers. They really want that approval. And all of a sudden, when they’re 40 or 50, they realize they’re never going to get that.” “There’s always been an elephant in the middle of the living room, that behavior has been there, but somehow they haven’t been able to face it until there’s this tipping point.” “Family & friend work is so important because nothing changes until something changes. And if you’re sending your loved one away to be fixed, and then you expect them to come back without a parallel process, that person is doomed.”
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Creator Details

Location
Los Angeles, California, United States of America
Episode Count
94
Podcast Count
1
Total Airtime
2 days, 7 hours
PCID
Podchaser Creator ID logo 324993