Wendy Behary is the founder and Director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC. She has been training professionals and supervising psychotherapists for more than twenty years.
You have a hostile coworker undermining you before management at every opportunity. How can you ensure facts will speak up for you instead of your coworker's toxic fabrications? Never fear! We'll show you how to navigate around a hostile coworker on this Feedback Friday!
And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org. Now let's dive in!
Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/248
On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss:
A Detroit vagrant in his 40s probably has enough problems to deal with. Can any good come from pressing charges against him because he tried (and failed) to steal your laptop?
You have a hostile coworker undermining you before management at every opportunity. How can you ensure facts will speak up for you instead of your coworker's toxic fabrications?
You hear of coworkers getting a promotion because they're "smart." What does it mean to be smart? Is being smart related to IQ? Is it related to emotional intelligence? Is it related to street smarts? Or is it a combination of all of these?
As a business owner in a new country who's pioneered your own niche, how do you avoid a race to the bottom in pricing and remain high in quality as competition attempts to elbow into your turf?
Is it ever good to name drop when networking?
How can you continue to network and problem solve for your peers, but also start to lay the foundation of credibility with your accomplishments to build future -- and likely new leadership positions -- at your company?
You reached out to someone in your chosen field, and you were referred to two others who have agreed to meet with you. How can you use the FEW technique effectively when these meetings happen?
Is it worth the ROI to obtain expensive credentials (like an MBA) early in your career? Or is charging forward to gain experience more beneficial?
Life Pro Tip: When you get a scammy/spammy phone call, tell them: "I think you have the wrong number...this is a government office." Alternatively, you can play this sound into the phone to possibly get removed from the system's rotation.
Recommendation of the Week: Dave Chappelle: Sticks & Stones, Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee (Dave Chappelle Episode)
A quick shoutout to David Gray Lassiter!
Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at email@example.com!
Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and...
Wendy Behary (@donsanddivas) has been training professionals and supervising psychotherapists for more than 20 years, and is the author of Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed.
What We Discuss with Wendy Behary:
What's the difference between someone who comes off as somewhat self-absorbed and a full-blown, clinical narcissist?
Is clinical narcissism actually on the rise in the US? If so, what’s causing it?
Does narcissism statistically affect men more than women, or is there just a difference in how they tend to express it?
When a little bit of narcissism can be a big advantage.
How to tell early on if you’re dealing with a bona fide narcissist, what you can do to remain your best self in their presence, and how you might possibly help them become their better selves.
And much more...
Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/246
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Wendy Behary is a founding fellow and consulting supervisor for The Academy of Cognitive Therapy (Aaron T. Beck Institute). Wendy has a specialty in treating narcissists and the people who live with and deal with them.
She is the author of "Disarming the Narcissist -- surviving and thriving with the self-absorbed” translated in 10 languages.
Narcissism and world-class achievement have an interesting relationship. When we think of those who excel on the world stage, it'd be easy to conjure up a story that they have a deep inner belief that they can be the absolute best in the world (that's actually not the case, as we've come to learn from many of the folks on the Finding Mastery Podcast.
But for those who do hold that belief -- THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND ME BECAUSE I’M THAT IMPORTANT AND SPECIAL --is when my antenna tends to attune to the concept of narcissism.
It's the excessive self-centered vanity and lack of regard for others that is one of the hallmarks of narcissism. We can all be self-absorbed, needy….. display narcissistic behavior from time to time…that's not what this is about….it's when the sense of grandiosity is so pervasive that it impairs daily functioning with others, and in essence, within themselves.
Narcissism is named for the Greek myth of Narcissus—who was a hunter and when he saw his own reflection in the water, he fell in love with it, not realizing it was merely an image. He stared at his reflection until he died.
The way I like to simplify narcissism, is that the person can't tell the difference between himself and everyone around him -- everyone then becomes a reflection of his him -- in which gives him the right to use them as extensions of his own self-worth (even if that means public embarrassment).
There was an interesting piece of research in the Journal of applied sport psychology, 2013, by Ross Roberts and team -- where they found that the more narcissistic a person was, the less they benefited from psychological skills training - in other words, all you had to do for them, is turn on the lights, and they came alive.
If you have ever thought, am I'm living with or working with a narcissist, or am I a narcissist? Wendy provides ways to tease that out. She dives into why so many elite performs are narcissists, and how we can be more effective with living and working with them.
My guest on this session is Wendy Behary, LCSW. Wendy is the founder and Clinical Director of the Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and the Schema Therapy Institute of New Jersey. She is also a distinguished founding fellow of the Academy of Cognitive Therapy. She maintains a private practice, specializing in narcissism and high-conflict couples […]
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