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Okay, Now on with the show.

0:40

Hello, everybody, Welcome to a hundred words

0:42

of the last podcast Hanging out

0:44

with Me, Ray Hearkins, your host,

0:48

discussing independent music in a

0:50

wide variety of people who

0:52

make up this awesome music scene that we

0:54

call home. Right you call us home? Yeah, Well,

0:57

I hope you're having a good day

0:59

because I'm having a good day, and

1:01

so did this person when we spoke that day. Brianna

1:04

Hunt. She is the proprietor

1:07

main vocalist, songwriter. She's

1:09

everything, uh for a project

1:11

called Many Rooms, who are

1:14

actually label mates of the band that I play and called

1:16

Taken, and um I

1:18

love I love what she does.

1:21

I saw her. You actually hear this at

1:23

the top of the interview where I spoke about

1:25

seeing her at Chain Reaction and I just

1:27

I I like the EP that she put out previously,

1:30

but like once I saw her, it all kind of came

1:32

together in my head and uh

1:34

it was. It was awesome. And I could not recommend

1:37

all of her recorded output enough.

1:39

Like if you're fans of

1:42

you know, Julian Baker daughter all of

1:44

that sort of really introspective, you

1:46

know, female fronted stuff, that

1:49

you need to lap this up with a spoon.

1:51

You need to shower yourself with it. I

1:53

mean, you know, figuratively speaking,

1:55

not literally, because that would be uh that you'd

1:57

probably hurt yourself, especially if it was vinyl. So

2:00

what else do I got? Well, I gotta tell you about

2:03

Rockabillya dot com. I know you're probably

2:05

like, yo, Ray, we get it Rockabilly. Yeah.

2:07

I understand you're excited about it, But no, I don't

2:09

think you do until you go to the website and until

2:11

you consume all of their

2:14

offerings, you were not an understanding it,

2:16

understand ering it, understanding

2:18

it. They offer half

2:20

a million items, they're all officially licensed.

2:23

Bands get paid. It is the

2:25

coolest place in the world to get

2:27

band merch. They ship it out to you

2:30

super quickly. Their customer services top Notch.

2:32

I cannot thank them enough for the support of

2:34

the show. And what you right

2:36

there, I'm pointing at you. You need to get fifteen percent

2:39

off by using the code pc jabber jaw percent

2:42

off your order. Like that,

2:44

I'm just giving you free money essentially. Okay,

2:46

So outfit yourself from head to

2:48

toe with rockabilly and stuff from all your favorite bands,

2:51

and that way you'll just you'll you'll be in

2:53

the know. You'll a mass a collection

2:55

of band shirts that is kind

2:57

of like mine because I've got way too many

2:59

man shirts. But actually there's no such thing as to me

3:01

band shirts, right, Okay, So rockabilly

3:04

and uh, what else do I got for you? Uh?

3:07

This, We're we're nearing the end of

3:09

the focal point of Awesome

3:12

Women in Music Month that

3:14

this entire may has

3:16

shown us. And uh yeah, I'm just I'm

3:18

excited. It's always nice to have these themed

3:21

months come together and people still

3:24

are, you know, excited about those like themed

3:26

months, and when I'm kind of presenting newer

3:29

ideas like that, so well, not newer ideas

3:31

of themed months, but you get what I'm

3:33

saying. Um I,

3:36

I thank you for asking. I'm doing well myself.

3:39

Just kind of wrapping up the school year

3:41

from my son and my wife, and

3:43

it gets a little hectic and chaotic, and

3:45

often I don't even like look at

3:48

shows that are happening in my area until like

3:50

the week of and I'm like, oh, that's right, that's right,

3:52

converges coming through with neurosis, that's

3:55

right, this thing is happening. So, um

3:57

yeah, I haven't been feeling a strong

3:59

connect ativity to, you know, going

4:01

out to shows, but you know, it's it's always

4:03

there. I'm I'm always paying attention. I'm always

4:06

making sure that I'm able to dive in when I

4:08

feel like I'm I'm too far removed from it. But um

4:10

yeah, that's what we got. And I just want

4:13

to bring this conversation that had with Brianna. It's so

4:15

good. We actually full disclosure,

4:18

this is our second conversation because

4:20

I was recorded a great,

4:23

great chat with her in person at

4:26

my house and uh, like,

4:28

I don't know when exactly it was, but basically

4:30

my microphone cord broke during that interview

4:32

and so all you could hear is her

4:35

responses and me off in the distance. And

4:37

I tried. I worked with a great

4:39

friend of mine, Jesse Lynch to try to make

4:42

this thing come to

4:44

a listenable quality and it did not. So

4:47

fortunately Brianna was sweet enough to hop

4:49

on the phone and uh kind of recreate

4:51

magic and I think we did it. Okay, So

4:53

there we go. Just not like you needed to know all that,

4:56

but you know, I just wanted to because I think

4:58

I do mention in this conversation and

5:00

that we had discussed something like this previously,

5:02

so that that's why we mentioned that. So anyways,

5:06

there is all. There's all. That is

5:08

all, and you should just listen to this. Okay, All

5:10

right, I'm talking to you. At the end

5:12

of the show, Hike

5:30

had right,

5:40

you know, like being being label

5:42

mates together. I got keyed into you,

5:44

you know via your your your bros forever

5:46

Tom and Jesse and uh then

5:49

and I went I saw you play like

5:52

I had listened to the EP, and I thought it was cool.

5:54

But then it wasn't until when I saw you play at

5:56

Chain with Trade Wind and everything

5:59

where it kind of like it all kind of came

6:01

together for me where I was like, oh, okay,

6:03

because I think, you know, especially

6:06

in the day and age of you hear

6:08

a person is a you know, singer,

6:10

songwriter, or whatever that may mean, and you're

6:13

kind of like, oh, I think I already know

6:15

that person's story. And then

6:17

watching watching you get up there, it was like, oh,

6:20

yeah, like you're kind of you know you

6:22

you come from, UM, you know the same

6:24

d I Y principles that you know, punk and hardcore

6:27

kind of comes from. UM.

6:30

Do you do you find that you

6:32

know people kind of I wouldn't

6:34

say mischaracterize you, but are kind of like

6:37

I already know what what many Rooms is about,

6:39

just because like, oh, female friend and singer

6:41

songwriter, like already kind of know what she's got

6:44

going on. UM.

6:47

I honestly, I don't know.

6:50

I don't hear people often telling me what they

6:52

what they initially like expected

6:55

from me. UM, I can't speculate

6:58

that. I you

7:00

know, I'm a girl and I

7:02

go up there and I play guitar, and

7:05

I think a lot of the times. The one

7:07

thing that I do get is I get lumped up with

7:10

people like Julian Baker and

7:13

um Or compared to other female

7:18

artists just because we are

7:20

female and we're playing music, and that's literally

7:22

the only comparison. UM.

7:26

Well, you know that's not honestly, you

7:28

know, it's UM

7:30

an honor or, you know, a privilege to be compared

7:32

to someone like Julian Baker, who's extremely talented.

7:35

Um, but we

7:37

are obviously if you listen to, both of us are

7:39

very different musicians and different music.

7:43

Um. So I try,

7:45

I guess, uh

7:48

try to differ from that or too,

7:51

you know, expand people's minds

7:53

on. Girls can make different kinds of music and

7:55

you don't have to run from all together and they can be

7:58

different. Um

8:00

again. I also I also think that, um

8:04

maybe I

8:07

don't know. The only other expectation I think

8:09

people have is that I'm going to be a sad person whenever

8:11

I talked to them after playing my

8:13

my songs, and or I'm gonna be like

8:15

super what's

8:17

that word? Uh, just like melancholy,

8:20

like reserved and shine

8:23

emo. But like I'm a pretty

8:26

outgoing person outside of

8:28

the songs that I write, I think because that's my

8:31

release. But yeah,

8:33

other than that, I can't. I

8:36

wouldn't really be able to say if like I

8:38

knew what people thought of me, I had no idea

8:40

that you were Yeah, I didn't know that

8:42

you were there first of all at that show, um,

8:45

the one that chain reaction, right, Yeah, yeah,

8:49

yeah, I had no idea, but I

8:52

mean that's cool. I

8:54

like, I think that I would always want my life performance

8:56

to be even better than the

8:59

meat than they recorded music. And so it's encouraging

9:01

to hear that it was even cooler alive than

9:04

it was hearing it. Yeah,

9:06

No, definitely, because I think it is. There's

9:09

always that you run that risk when you are,

9:11

you know, a a solo artist and

9:14

you are performing under a moniker

9:16

that is not your own, and you know

9:18

people will bring baggage to that, you know, because

9:20

people will be like, you know, there's

9:22

just so much history with that of being

9:24

like either really really good or

9:27

like, you know, just performative. You

9:29

know, it's like you know, people putting putting

9:31

on a character or something like that. You know, um,

9:34

and I think there's so much baggage

9:36

with that. So you know, there's I

9:39

think people that do what you do kind of have

9:41

to shed a lot of preconceived notions

9:44

more so than you know, like whatever a punk

9:46

or hardcore band, where people, you know, they will come

9:48

with notions, but not to the same degree

9:50

of like oh wow, you know, yeah, here's

9:52

here's another person that's trying to rip off dashboard

9:54

confessional or whatever you know. Yeah,

9:57

yeah, yeah for sure. And um,

10:01

like you talked about having roots and

10:04

hardcore um and d I y

10:07

taught me just I thought that it was

10:09

the norm to you know, be

10:11

up there and performing that way where you go and you

10:13

talk about things that are important to you. UM.

10:16

I never knew any different. And

10:18

you know, because I had go to these shows

10:20

and I see these angry dudes

10:23

or frustrated dudes talking about things

10:26

that they care about and that are important to them.

10:29

UM. And I always

10:31

loved that. I always thought that was so important

10:33

about I mean, I think that's the

10:35

the glue that holds hardcore and

10:37

and and heavy music together

10:40

is caring, you

10:42

know, and wanting to see change.

10:45

And I've always admired that,

10:47

and I always and

10:50

so I think that that really really

10:52

influenced my performance

10:54

and my music, even though

10:57

my music sounds and nothing like hardcore's. Um,

10:59

that's only where I came from and definitely

11:02

influences me. Yeah, oh no, for sure.

11:04

I mean I think that's that's

11:06

kind of even though you stylistically

11:09

may not have anything to do with

11:11

that scene in particular, it's like you

11:13

can't help but view the

11:16

world through that prism even if you don't

11:18

make music that sounds like that,

11:20

it's like yeah that you know, basement

11:22

d I y. Mentality exists across all different

11:24

genres of music, and it's a different story

11:27

if you were viewing it from the prison of like, oh

11:29

man, I want to be like, you know, the next Beyonce,

11:32

like you know, because clearly are those are two different

11:34

targets, you know mh. But

11:38

you know from you know, getting to

11:40

know you on our our our lost conversation,

11:43

UM, you know you the

11:45

the musical journey that you've kind of you know, had

11:48

has always seemed to be UM.

11:51

I'm sure goal oriented to a certain extent,

11:54

but you never um, you've never struck

11:56

me as a person that has like these, UM

11:58

I guess grandiose ambitions of like I

12:01

want to be this, um you know

12:03

this, and I don't. I don't want to use the word rock star,

12:05

but that's the first thing that comes to my mind. Um,

12:08

you know, but like you know,

12:10

there but there are but there are goals, there are things you want to

12:12

accomplish. Um. You know, how

12:15

is that kind of ping ponged around in your head as

12:17

you um, you know, navigate the

12:19

the weird world of you know, putting yourself out

12:21

there. Are

12:24

you asking like, what my goals

12:26

are, you know, as as

12:29

an artist. Yeah, essentially they're just like,

12:31

you know, you have ambitions, but you know they're not

12:33

ambitions to you know, be the next you

12:35

know whatever, like I said Taylor Swift or something

12:37

like that. Yeah.

12:40

Um, I think since

12:43

the beginning, I mean since I was playing shows

12:46

in called Sad to Mexico as

12:48

a fifteen year old, my

12:51

goal has always been to make

12:54

something honest, um,

12:57

and to talk about things

12:59

that are imported to me and kind

13:01

of address things that people

13:03

normally don't want to talk

13:06

about or are afraid to talk about

13:08

themselves. Um,

13:10

being transparent about hurt

13:13

and about suffering and

13:15

depression and mental illness

13:18

or um confusions

13:20

or doubts. I've always

13:23

wanted to be able to

13:25

say, like, you

13:27

know this, this is not something that you

13:30

alone think about or you alone go

13:32

through. I think a lot of people do, and

13:34

it's important to share in that and to

13:37

admit it because, um,

13:40

you know, there's a lot of fear that drives people away from

13:42

each other because they don't they're

13:44

not willing to be transparent. And I wanted to.

13:47

I didn't know I mean other

13:51

than playing music. Whenever I

13:53

was younger, I didn't know how to communicate that with people.

13:55

It was really hard, and I

13:57

felt like music was the best avenue to committee

14:00

something like that. And it worked.

14:02

And the more that I saw it worked, the more driven

14:05

I was to do it that way. Um.

14:08

And so I try too,

14:10

I get I get um

14:12

distracted and kind

14:15

of veered off sometimes, you know, sometimes

14:17

I get caught up in things that don't

14:19

matter, like if I'm going to make enough money,

14:22

you know on this tour, or if this

14:25

tour I'm going on, uh

14:27

is cool enough

14:29

for like, you know, if I'm if I'm progressing

14:32

in the right way, or if I'm impressing the right

14:34

people. And I always have to go back

14:36

and remind myself why I initially

14:38

started loving music, because if I

14:41

focus on those things, I end up not

14:44

loving it anymore, and I'll end up, you know,

14:47

feeling kind of numb towards everything

14:49

and towards towards my own are

14:52

in my own career. Um.

14:54

So I try to

14:57

remind myself and to stay

14:59

great and humble. Um,

15:02

you know, as to the

15:05

the initial goal that I had whenever I was

15:07

a kid, staying

15:09

the same goal that I have, no matter what

15:11

happens to me, UM,

15:13

because I think that that's the

15:16

most important aspect of art is

15:18

to express, um,

15:21

this shared experience that

15:24

a lot of people can relate to, and

15:27

to remind people that they

15:29

aren't alone, even though that's I

15:31

hate saying. I hate saying like you're not alone. That's like I shouldn't

15:33

say, kind of corny statement,

15:36

but that's I mean, that's the best way that I can put

15:38

it, is that I hear a lot of

15:42

someone here's a song that spoke to them or meant

15:44

something that then they say, I didn't know that other

15:46

people went through this, and it's always

15:49

amazing because

15:51

a lot of people do. And UM,

15:56

yeah, that's that's always been I guess my

15:59

I am O is I want to make

16:01

people feel comforted um,

16:03

the way that other bands and

16:05

their songs had made me feel comforted,

16:08

UM, especially like with I

16:12

think the first time I heard a band

16:14

or a band that did that to me was

16:16

Sits Burned. I heard the song of the Widow or

16:18

No No. I heard the song Contact and it was

16:20

about um

16:23

Cody Benette's doubts in God,

16:25

and I had never heard anybody singing

16:28

in a song about them not knowing if they

16:30

believed in God or not, like who were a Christian

16:33

band and who Christians loved?

16:35

You know, it was kind of a little

16:37

while to do something like that, and I

16:39

thought it was so almost

16:42

rebellious and so

16:45

risky and awesome, and it was something

16:47

that I was like, I want to be able to do that for people.

16:50

I want to make people feel uncomfortable,

16:52

but in a good way. You know, Yeah, no,

16:55

for sure, it definitely because

16:58

you know, I think, well, you know, you get older

17:00

in the context of you know, this independent

17:02

music scene. You know, people are supposed to age out at

17:04

a certain point, and so like, what is

17:06

cliche to you know, people in

17:09

their you know, late twenties, early thirties

17:11

is not cliche to a fifteen year old. So I

17:13

think, you you know, because

17:16

you don't know when that piece of art is

17:18

going to mean something. And yes, of

17:20

course there are cliches and there's

17:22

repetition of message over

17:25

time, but it doesn't mean the

17:27

fact that it's going to not hit a person

17:29

who is at that juncture in their life of exactly

17:31

what you're talking about. You know, you don't know how that's going

17:34

to affect a person, and it's like to you, it may be like,

17:36

oh yeah, I've already heard that before. This is my like

17:38

fourteenth band hearing why they don't like God

17:40

or why they question their faith. But like, but

17:43

still the fifteen year old isn't gonna know that or

17:45

whatever. Mm hmm

17:49

um. And so you uh,

17:52

you know, kind of focusing on you yourself. You were

17:54

raised in two separate states kind of you know, I mean

17:57

Texas and New Mexico. You

17:59

know, the New Mexico experience kind of you

18:01

know where you started to you know, play

18:03

out and be more

18:05

a part of a you know scene as

18:07

small as it was. Um,

18:11

but you're you know, kind of having

18:13

these these two separate experiences of

18:15

of having to you know, kind of

18:17

home bases. One being because

18:19

because Houston is where you call home now, right yea

18:23

yeah, And clearly Houston is a you know,

18:26

massive, massive town that has you know, culture

18:28

and nightlife and everything else that uh,

18:30

you know, the town the town in New Mexico

18:33

did not, Um do

18:35

you? I guess you look at both having

18:37

experience in both of those worlds being um,

18:40

I guess valuable to you or would you

18:42

rather have just had the Houston

18:44

experience and not have to you know, rely on the

18:47

the you know, the the small scene that you

18:49

kind of came from in that area. Now,

18:52

I definitely appreciate both because

18:55

I whenever, especially when I was younger, I was

18:58

you know, a more impressionable and more

19:00

more and secure. Um.

19:02

Being drowned out by other people who are doing

19:04

the same thing has in the

19:06

past, uh negatively affected

19:09

me and made me feel discouraged

19:11

or made me feel like I couldn't do it. And

19:14

UM

19:17

being I hate I don't

19:19

want to sound like a I

19:21

mean, this is just this is as the truth is. Whenever

19:23

I was, you know, in New Mexico and

19:26

I was playing music, I was really the only

19:29

like girl acoustic

19:33

guitar player who was writing songs in

19:35

my area, and it

19:39

I I've always had a past of loving

19:41

to stand out and and be unique, and that

19:44

made me stand out and be unique and it was

19:46

encouraging and I loved it, um,

19:49

And it was fun for me. UM.

19:53

And I'm glad I left. I'm definitely glad I left.

19:55

If I had stayed, nothing would have happened for me. UM.

19:58

But it was good to start my roots there because I could

20:00

be confident in myself a little bit and

20:02

in what I do because people liked

20:04

it. And if I had lived in Houston

20:07

trying to do that, I would have seen so

20:09

many other bands and artists trying to do

20:11

it, and I think I would have felt

20:13

drowned out and overwhelmed, and I would have

20:15

I don't know if I would have given up, but it would have.

20:18

I wouldn't have been as motivated. UM.

20:20

I think I would have been influenced by other

20:22

people telling me how things are supposed to be

20:24

and how I'm supposed to be an

20:27

artist, that I would have listened

20:30

to them and not just done what I wanted,

20:32

which is what I did whenever I lived in New Mexico.

20:35

UM. And I think that that was a good place to start,

20:37

which which is, you know,

20:40

knowing what I want and knowing

20:44

how I wanted, how I want to get it, and

20:47

you know, staying true to that, UM.

20:50

Because I think that that's the only reason that

20:53

things have worked out so far is by me

20:55

saying no, I'm going to do what I think is

20:57

best, not what other people tell me is best. You know,

21:00

No, I think that's a yeah.

21:03

No, I really like how you laid that out, just because I do

21:05

think that the notion of

21:07

existing, you know, existing within

21:10

some structure of a of

21:12

a scene. You know, it's helpful because there are

21:14

more options and more places to play and you

21:16

know, bands and whatever, but there is that

21:18

sort of you know, big fish, small

21:21

pond scenario of like, oh yeah, like

21:23

there's less people doing this thing, so

21:26

you know, good or bad. Like I'm just able

21:28

to kind of put myself out there, um, you

21:31

know, awards and all where people can can

21:33

you know, look at it and be like, oh, well that that's

21:35

cool just because she's doing it, you know, as

21:39

opposed to yeah, other people where it's like oh yeah,

21:41

well there's these other seven people

21:43

are doing a similar thing to you, so I

21:45

only like these three and the other four kind of fall

21:47

by the wayside or whatever. Yeah.

21:51

Yeah. Um.

21:53

And so a lot of our our last conversation

21:56

kind of you know, centered around the you know idea

21:58

you were you were raising in in the church and

22:00

you know you have uh, you know a

22:02

lot you speak to a lot of that experience

22:05

in this very similar fashion to you know, the

22:07

Acidities Burned song that highly influenced

22:09

you and sort of you know shaped

22:13

shaped two you were and how you wanted to, you know, express

22:15

yourself. Um, could you know, talk

22:17

a little bit about them. I guess kind

22:19

of experience that you went on just with

22:22

your spiritual uh walk,

22:25

just because I do think that was incredibly

22:27

interesting. Your experience was definitely not just

22:29

like, oh, yeah, I go to church on Christmas and Easter

22:31

and that's kind of it. Yeah.

22:35

So I grew up in uh

22:38

like I you know, grew up in Houston before

22:40

I moved to New Mexico until I was ten, Um,

22:43

and my mom had

22:45

just become a believer, maybe like five months

22:47

five years before I was born, or

22:50

five years into when I was born, And

22:52

so we were we were going to church all

22:55

the time, like three or four times a week.

22:58

Um, that was my life. That was identity.

23:00

That's all I knew. Um. This

23:03

church that I had gone to was my

23:05

family at the time. That was That was the

23:07

people that I hung around with the most, and I knew the most.

23:11

And UM,

23:13

so I was raised to believe a

23:15

certain set of denominational

23:19

beliefs that this church believed, even

23:21

though they called themselves nondenominational.

23:23

Every every church, whether or not they

23:25

say that they are, they are some kind of

23:28

faction or denomination of Christianity.

23:31

Um, you can't help it. And I understand that,

23:33

but um so, I

23:36

kind of I don't know if people instilled

23:38

this and to me more than I instilled it into

23:40

myself. But I grew up believing that if I

23:42

did all the right things the right ways,

23:45

and I would be glorified

23:47

and good and loved by

23:49

God. And if I did things the wrong

23:51

way, then I would be punished or looked

23:53

down on or made to feel guilty

23:56

or shameful. Um

23:58

So I lived that way. I lived trying so

24:01

hard to do things the right way and

24:03

then making mistakes, feeling terrible

24:05

about myself, um, and

24:08

then having to like reconcile

24:10

with God every single time that I did something wrong.

24:13

Um. So, when I was in high school, I

24:16

was kind of an asshole. Like I

24:18

I thought I was better

24:20

than everyone else. Um.

24:24

I expected everybody to meet

24:27

my standards that they said that they were a Christian.

24:29

Um And it didn't obviously, because my

24:31

standards were supposedly perfect.

24:34

And so I would be disappointed in people

24:36

a lot, and I would look down on them, and um,

24:40

I alienated myself in high

24:42

school. Honestly, I think that sometimes I think

24:44

like I wish I had had more friends, and I

24:47

made myself believe that I was uh

24:50

bullied or uh

24:53

like seen as

24:56

bad by other kids. But I made

24:58

myself that way. It was like self fulfilling prophecy.

25:01

If you expect, you know, somebody

25:03

to think that you're not cool,

25:05

then you're going to act like you're not cool. Um.

25:10

But yeah, it was I was huge,

25:12

askable. Um. You know, I

25:14

didn't party, and

25:17

I didn't have sex before marriage, and I

25:19

didn't um be cuss,

25:21

and I went to church, and so I thought

25:23

I was cool and good. Um.

25:26

But the older

25:28

that I got, and especially out of after getting

25:31

out of high school, um, the more

25:33

mistakes I made and

25:36

the more it humbled me. Especially

25:38

when I was eighteen, I kind of did every single

25:40

thing that I told myself I would never do. And

25:43

that was a really humbling time because I was like, well,

25:46

wait, I'm I'm a I'm

25:48

a hearing and you

25:52

know, I still feel like I want love

25:54

and I deserve love. I don't think that me

25:57

doing all of these things makes me any

26:00

any less. I

26:03

don't know, it

26:05

doesn't. It doesn't make me

26:08

like less worthy of love or

26:11

you know, a chance to change or to try again.

26:14

UM, and it kind of opened my eyes towards

26:16

people that I had judged previously and

26:18

understanding that people are just people and they make

26:20

mistakes and that does not like

26:25

that doesn't identify them. It's not

26:28

it's not them. Um.

26:30

Everything comes from a place of hurt really. So anyways,

26:33

UM, that was like this was like

26:35

a slow change over a few years of

26:37

and I had moved around after leaving

26:40

college and moved to Nashville, UM,

26:42

and moved to Columbus, and um,

26:46

you know, being in different cultures definitely changed

26:48

my perspective and seeing different people's

26:50

lives and seeing different people's hurts

26:53

changed my perspective instead of being in this bubble

26:55

of seeing the same thing all the time. And

26:58

I started learning how much I was hurt

27:00

and um

27:02

controlled by that church that I had gone

27:05

to, UM

27:07

that I was supposed to supposedly

27:09

you know, be perfect and not show

27:12

that I was struggling at all. UM

27:14

or i'd be like given some

27:16

kind of church punishment um

27:18

or or discipline and told that you know, unless

27:21

you do this right, then you can't come back. And

27:25

the more the more older I got, the more whack

27:27

I started to think it was. And I

27:30

was slowly asking myself questions

27:32

over the years about things that you

27:35

know, confused me about religion, about

27:37

Christianity. Um.

27:40

Obviously all of the stuff politically that's been

27:42

going on has helped

27:44

me to see how certain Christians

27:46

view other people. And I thought that

27:48

that wasn't cool at all. Um,

27:51

that was really frustrating. And you

27:54

know, I'm sitting here thinking, like, all

27:56

of these Christians are saying that they're right, and

27:59

this is the idea that I used to believe

28:01

as well. But what if

28:03

I'm not right? Like? Who am

28:05

I to think that just because I've

28:07

been raised to believe this thing, it means it's right.

28:10

There are so there are billions of people in the world,

28:12

and everybody has their own beliefs, Like, what

28:16

are the chances that I'm right out of

28:18

all these billions of people? Um?

28:21

And I think that started me on a path of questioning

28:23

and self doubt and um,

28:26

that and the religion more more so than

28:28

anything else. And UM,

28:31

I think the

28:34

the peak of that doubt

28:36

was when I wasn't on tour with

28:38

trade wind Um in July of

28:41

two thousand and sixteen. No, that was when

28:43

I was with Tom and Jesse and you

28:46

know them there very

28:48

strongly against religion and

28:51

very very vocally against it, and so they

28:54

would be asking me questions and

28:57

challenging me and you know, making

28:59

me look at my self, and it was really

29:01

wearing me down. Like that tour was

29:04

probably the best too I've ever been on, but also

29:06

like mentally, really

29:09

wore me down because I was starting to think,

29:11

like what if I'm wrong about everything and

29:13

God's just not real? I don't

29:15

know what I'm gonna do, Like, because

29:17

this has been my identity, my whole life, and

29:19

all of a sudden, it's in one

29:23

two weeks tour, It's being stripped down and

29:25

burned away, and I don't know what to

29:27

do with myself. I don't know who I am outside

29:30

of it. Um,

29:32

But it lasts. It was a very short time that that I

29:35

guess lasted, that time of doubt.

29:37

Um and I

29:41

we were driving to California

29:43

from Arizona, and I've told the story multiple

29:46

times, but it's my favorite. Um

29:49

there's I mean, the drive from Arizona

29:51

to California is gorgeous, and it was even

29:53

more gorgeous because we were driving

29:56

as the sun was rising and all those hills

29:59

just magic. Um

30:01

and we

30:03

were driving, and I was looking at everything, and we were probably

30:06

listening to something sad, like going to there

30:08

or something. UM just totally helped

30:10

them the mood. But I

30:12

was feeling really down on myself and feeling really

30:14

shitty, and I was looking at it everything, and

30:17

I thought about this

30:20

book that I've been reading but I had been reading

30:23

at the time, where the author

30:25

talks about atoms and

30:27

how what they're what the components of atoms are made

30:30

out of, and how um quirks

30:32

and lovetons, which are a man out of atoms mad mad

30:34

make up. Atoms um are made

30:36

up of something that they call push and pool.

30:38

It's not even matter, and so somehow

30:41

something that doesn't have matter makes matter and

30:43

then everything exists and everything

30:46

is alive and moving around you just can't

30:48

see it. And I was thinking about that when

30:50

I was when we were driving, I

30:52

was looking at everything and thinking and feeling

30:55

about how alive it all is, and

30:58

I just had um

31:01

spiritual experience where it was an overwhelming

31:03

sort of joy. And

31:07

in my head, I thought to myself, you

31:09

know, all the things

31:11

that I had believed previously might fundamentally

31:14

you know, about who God is,

31:17

might have been wrong, and I might not know

31:20

my whole life you know the answers

31:23

to all of my questions, but I

31:25

know that that God is real, there

31:27

is a God, because of this experience that I

31:29

just had and remembering all

31:31

of the experiences that I had had previously

31:33

in my life that had shown

31:36

me that God was around um and that He

31:38

was present and that he cared. And

31:41

it was such a freeing thing because all of

31:43

a sudden, like my religion, it's

31:46

like my friend explained this to me and it

31:48

was really cool. Um. He talks about

31:50

how you your religion or

31:53

your life of religion, is like this house

31:56

that you're everyone has built up for

31:58

you your whole life, and then there comes

32:00

a point in your life where you have to burn it down,

32:02

and whatever is left over that

32:04

stayed through the fire is what you keep and

32:07

take with you when you build up your

32:09

own house for yourself. And that

32:11

was like the moment of everything being completely

32:14

burnt down, and I had this one glimmer

32:17

of like a spark, and it was God, and

32:20

it was who God really was to me, and

32:23

suddenly I'm not being

32:25

held down by these expectations

32:28

or by these rules

32:30

on how things are supposed to be. I

32:33

just believe that this God

32:35

is good and that he loves me and wants

32:37

me to love his people. Um.

32:40

And it was so much easier to do

32:42

that after there was no more judgment left

32:45

than me to just care

32:47

for people. And I think

32:49

that I find it really interesting because

32:51

you know, UM,

32:53

a lot of Christians, it's it's really tabooed

32:56

to have doubts. It's really tabooed to say I

32:58

don't know this, or you know, if you were

33:00

to say something like I don't believe

33:02

that God created the will in

33:04

seven days, you'd start a whole to write of arguments

33:07

with a lot of different Christians. And it's

33:11

crazy that as soon as

33:13

you admit to yourself and to other people,

33:15

I don't know and that's

33:18

okay, Um, it

33:20

leaves your room to be compassionate.

33:22

And it left me a lot of room to be compassionate.

33:26

And so that's kind of

33:28

where my faith is now is I

33:30

believe this, and I believe

33:32

it more than I ever have in my entire

33:35

life. But suddenly

33:37

I don't have these judgments and

33:40

I'm not going to push it on anyone that

33:42

I am going to tell them, you know, this is what happened

33:44

to me and this is my story and this is you know why

33:46

I write these songs in this record, Um,

33:50

because it was so pivotal for my

33:52

change in my life and and finding

33:55

help for myself. Um.

33:59

Yeah, so that's yeah, No, that's why I really

34:01

like that, because I mean it's a there's

34:05

there's never you know. I mean, even though all our lives

34:07

are linear from a time perspective, there's never

34:10

um, you know, an easy buttoned

34:12

up story for people

34:14

when they're they're going through all of those those

34:16

moments. But um,

34:19

but like you say, everybody has to go

34:21

through those moments of you know, reconciliation

34:23

um on what it is they actually believe. And

34:25

I you know, I appreciate your you

34:28

laying out the path that you know

34:30

you took to where you're at now and arguably

34:33

where you know you're going to be at a different place in the

34:35

next you know, five years or ten years or whatever. Um,

34:38

you know, it'll hopefully resemble what it is

34:40

that you're into right now, but you know, no one can

34:42

tell. But I think that so

34:45

many people struggle with that idea

34:48

because um, you know, there

34:50

there there there are no answers. Every

34:52

everybody has no idea. Everybody has no

34:55

idea what they're doing. Um, they

34:57

take their best guests and they to

35:00

a you know, tentative foot forward. But

35:02

um, I think that, like you said,

35:05

coming at it from a place of love

35:07

rather than judgment. Is um,

35:09

you know originally, how how

35:11

all kind of came about in the first place. You know, it's

35:14

not yeah,

35:16

yeah, no, that's that's that's really cool. And it's cool too

35:18

because you know, I think it it

35:21

comes through the music that you

35:23

know, you create as well. Um, where

35:25

you know, it's clearly it's it's coming from

35:28

a you know, a fragile and vulnerable

35:30

place. And I think in turn, uh,

35:32

you know, the more people that you know look

35:34

into who you are as a person, UM

35:37

can't help, but you know, draw those connective

35:39

tissue lines into

35:41

the fact that it's like, oh yeah, like maybe this

35:44

is something I should consider. Like not

35:46

not saying that you're convincing people to

35:48

to think to you know, think one way

35:50

or the other, but just to at least consider

35:52

that component of their life, you know, mm

35:55

hmm yeah. And that's all you

35:57

know, That's all I could ask is that

36:00

not that people you know adhere to whatever

36:02

I believe or to tell

36:04

me I'm right, but to just you

36:07

know, think and to be self aware

36:09

and to to consider, you know what

36:12

what in their lives that they should be looking

36:15

at and questioning and changing. Um.

36:18

I used to want to be like a like a

36:20

missionary type musician where I, you

36:22

know, was spreading the Gospel of Jesus to the

36:25

people. And um,

36:27

obviously I still I still like hold

36:30

that root in me, but it's less evangelical.

36:33

It's less like in people's face you

36:36

know this is right and you're wrong.

36:38

It's more of a hey, you know,

36:41

like if you've been questioning this, I

36:43

have also been questioning it, and it's okay

36:45

to question. It's okay to say I don't know. And

36:49

you know, everything is done in your

36:51

own time and your own process. And

36:53

I think that's the only thing that people need to hear, is like

36:56

it's okay to be where you're at, and

36:59

you don't have to be at any certain place

37:01

in your life as long as you're trying, you're

37:03

trying to figure it out totally. Yeah,

37:05

absolutely, Um. And

37:08

so you know, as you were kind of um,

37:10

you know, putting together what

37:12

you are going to do, you know, musically and

37:15

experimenting in in you know, different areas

37:17

and what have you. You know, once you started to

37:20

you know, play out and to you know,

37:22

play shows under the moniker many rooms.

37:24

Um, well, did you have to struggle whether

37:26

or not you wanted to like call yourself by your name or

37:28

like have a have a quote unquote bad name

37:30

or was that easy like, oh, I don't want to call it

37:33

myself. Yeah, No,

37:35

I've never wanted it to be my name because I just

37:37

I don't think my name sounds cool enough.

37:41

I don't know. I think I think I wanted

37:43

to like be separate from a singer songwriter.

37:45

Like I didn't want somebody to just assume, oh,

37:47

there's a singer songwriter, because it kind of like

37:50

it can kind of cage you in UM

37:53

and not allow you to experiment. And I

37:55

want to be able to make whatever kind of music I want

37:57

to make. UM. And

38:00

even though like I could be called Brianna Hunt

38:02

and still make whatever the hell I want to make, it's

38:04

just it's easier to just have this

38:06

moniker. And I've always

38:09

had some kind of name and they've always been stupid

38:11

up until this point. So I'm

38:13

really glad I have it. I definitely.

38:16

I have no qualms or regrets about

38:18

it. Got it? Got it? Um?

38:23

So yeah, as you started to march forward

38:25

with the many Rooms, Moniker, and you know, you

38:27

were you were playing shows and starting

38:29

to you know, have people kind of identify

38:31

with what it is that you

38:33

are doing. And you know, you were playing you

38:36

know, whatever show you could get on, whether it was

38:38

a you know, a coffee shopper or a punk

38:40

and hardcore show. Um. You know some when

38:43

I was you know, prepping for our our conversation.

38:46

You know, I've there are some really cool

38:48

videos you know on YouTube of you playing

38:50

at you know, whatever shows and

38:52

stuff that is clearly you know, you are the

38:55

odd person out from a sonic perspective,

38:57

but you know people are just kind of losing their

38:59

minds. Um.

39:01

You know, I guess when did you kind of um,

39:04

I guess noticed that people were

39:06

identifying with what it was that you were doing, not even

39:09

on like a wide commercial level, but just like

39:11

oh wow, like I guess I can you

39:13

know, not hold my own, but just like

39:16

play these shows and feel comfortable with it and oh

39:18

wow, people are are liking this. Yeah.

39:22

Um, I guess the one like

39:25

small moment was when I was in high

39:27

school, and it was like the first like

39:31

good, interesting song that I had written.

39:34

Um, even though I had been writing songs

39:36

on and often not sharing them, you know, for

39:38

years. Um, I wrote this stupid

39:41

song about zombies and about

39:43

like two people being in love while

39:46

there's a zombie attack or something. And it was super

39:49

corny and super

39:51

like you know, EMO

39:54

seeing girl thing to do. But

39:56

UM. I performed it at my talent

39:58

show and I almost won. But

40:01

I had a lot of kids from

40:04

my school tell me that they loved it and that they

40:06

thought it was so cool that I wrote music, and

40:08

that was kind of like the moment where I was

40:11

like, oh, maybe maybe I'm

40:13

good at this, you know. Um.

40:17

After that, I think when

40:20

I saw it more on a like scale

40:23

where I thought I could really do this, you

40:25

know, not just do it for fun. But

40:29

um, even though I've always since

40:31

I had decided I wanted to play

40:34

music, UM, and that's what

40:37

I wanted to do, it's always been like, there are no other

40:39

options, this is what I have to do. UM.

40:42

But when I when I started

40:44

seeing that maybe it might actually work out was

40:48

when I had already had the

40:50

ep UM

40:52

under a different Moniker and it wasn't

40:54

released through other people. UM.

40:57

I had self released it, and I had

40:59

moved to Nashville, UM,

41:01

and I had started you know, playing

41:03

house shows here and there. UM,

41:07

and people actually you know, responded

41:09

well to it. And that's that's kind

41:11

of when I. Oh and also

41:13

I played uh audio

41:16

Feed. UM. I don't know if you've ever

41:18

heard of that, but it's a fest that happens

41:20

in champign Illinois every year. UMA

41:23

was my first year at audio Feed that year, and I had

41:26

never heard of it before. It's like a it's like an uh

41:29

smaller like a new corner

41:31

stone exactly corner store Jr.

41:34

Yeah, yeah, for sure. And UM

41:38

I went and I played like

41:40

an impromptu set and a lot of people

41:42

watched, and UM,

41:45

a lot of people talked about it afterwards, and

41:47

I got asked to play more shows, and I got asked to do tours

41:50

after that, and so that was when I was like, Okay,

41:52

this is what I'm gonna do. This

41:55

is working, Yeah, this is whatever

41:57

whatever this may mean. It's like and I

42:00

guess that you know, the next steps that you've kind of taken,

42:02

you know, probably the space that you live

42:04

in now where UM, you know you kind

42:06

of build your life around the music,

42:08

you know, because like I mean, you you you know, you

42:11

live with your parents, and I presume, like you know, you

42:13

uh, your work when you're home in order to you

42:15

know, save enough money for the next tour and stuff like

42:17

that. Um that I

42:20

presume that's just basically what

42:22

you were like, Well, yeah, now I'm just gonna do this

42:24

and you know, I'll have a job that will allow

42:26

me to you know, bounce when I need to

42:28

leave for tour and stuff like that. I presume that that's

42:31

kind of the decision you made at that point. Yeah,

42:34

yeah, that was definitely. Um, I'm probably

42:36

I'm moving to back to Columbus in

42:39

June now, um,

42:41

because that's you know, where I'd always felt

42:43

the most comfortable and that's where I think

42:46

my home is. Um. I kind of came

42:48

home to view with my parents sort of too decompress

42:52

and figure out my life

42:54

and kind of chill because I had been

42:56

moving around so much beforehand that

42:59

it was having me crazy and I didn't know what I

43:01

wanted and I was kind of humantic. Um.

43:05

And so I also didn't have any money ever,

43:07

and I thought, you know, I need to I

43:10

need to give myself some stability so

43:12

that I can save up money and take care of the things

43:14

I need to take care of and get my life together.

43:17

Um. And so I've been doing that for the past like six months

43:19

or so. UM. But the the whole

43:21

plan was to eventually

43:24

be able to make enough money to support

43:26

myself to where I could move back to Columbus

43:28

and live a life as

43:30

an adult and also be able to pursue music.

43:33

But for sure, when I go back to Columbus, I'm

43:35

going to find a job and you

43:37

know, in between tours work so that I can

43:40

keep touring. Um.

43:42

But it's getting more and more to the place where

43:45

UM, I tore a lot. I've been touring a lot

43:48

like the past. In February, March, February,

43:50

March and April I was on tour. Um.

43:55

I hope you can't hear that that would suck um.

43:59

And and

44:06

I ataly forgot where I was at um

44:11

saying that, I, yeah, you've

44:13

been totally lost. I

44:16

was just say, yeah, you had been well, that

44:18

you were touring so much, probably that you know it's

44:20

leading up to where you know you wouldn't have oh

44:22

yeah, yeah, okay, UM

44:25

yeah, I was once more in February and March,

44:27

and um, that

44:30

is the biggest tour I've ever been on with Neil Holborn,

44:32

and um,

44:35

I made way more money than I ever thought

44:37

I could possibly make. I looked at my bank ayot

44:39

was like, how is that possible? I've never had as

44:41

much money in my life. UM,

44:45

So I'm thinking, I'm hoping this is my goal

44:47

is by next year I can just you

44:50

know, make enough money while I'm on tour to

44:52

be able to make that my life, you know, and to

44:54

be able to support me and that

44:57

be my job. And it's getting closer to that, and I'm

44:59

really excited because that's always been the dream.

45:02

Sure sure, um, And I'm

45:04

going to guess that you know, you do

45:07

you enjoy touring or you enjoy

45:10

elements of touring, or you kind of enjoy the

45:12

whole experience, you know behind

45:14

it all. UM,

45:17

definitely love touring more

45:19

than anything I've ever loved. I think, um

45:23

to a point where two years ago it was unhealthy for

45:25

me because I would try

45:27

so hard to tour that whenever I would be

45:29

home, I wouldn't do anything and I would kind of just

45:31

be numb and waiting for the next tour to happen

45:33

because that's how happy it made me. There's kind

45:36

of too much of a good thing sort of thing, and

45:38

now I'm in this place where I'm trying to balance it out where

45:40

I tore and also have my life at home

45:43

so I can be a person in

45:46

both atmospheres

45:49

and be myself in both atmospheres.

45:51

But No, definitely, touring gives

45:54

me this feeling of purpose that I've

45:56

never really felt anywhere else other than

45:58

you know, like hardcore and d I

46:01

Y and shows and that community of people.

46:04

But it's me doubling myself into that community

46:06

and seeing different communities everyone ago and

46:08

I love it so much. Nice.

46:12

No, that's cool because you know,

46:14

I know people kind of ebb and flow with their own

46:16

experiences of tour, and some people are

46:18

like, oh yeah, you know, it's like, you know, sixteen

46:21

hours of of doing nothing in thirty minutes

46:23

of playing a show and then the rest of it. It's

46:25

got to fill in time. But um yeah,

46:28

but the I think ultimately what you

46:30

know, most people echo of the touring experiences

46:32

like, yes, the shows are cool and interacting with

46:35

people, but it's like, you know, those those relationships

46:37

you make in those random towns with people

46:39

to either you know, stay over at their house

46:41

or whatever. It's like those are the ones where it's just like, oh

46:44

wow, Like you know, I've known these people

46:46

for fifteen years and they're still in my life because I randomly

46:48

met them at this one show or whatever. You

46:50

know, Yes, that that's the ship

46:52

I look for. I love it. Um. I

46:54

feel like I've always believed.

46:57

I guess that I was built for it because

46:59

I love moving. I've moved like

47:02

ten times in the past three four

47:04

years. Um. I've

47:06

always been kind of a spontaneous,

47:09

like chaotic kind

47:11

of person where I have to have changed always,

47:13

and tours a constant change and

47:16

I adapt to it very

47:18

well. And um,

47:22

yeah, it's just it's everything that I love. It's

47:24

being around people that I've met

47:27

through music, um, getting to see them

47:29

constantly, getting to build these friendships

47:32

based on something that you both enjoy and

47:34

love. And

47:37

I don't know, it's it's for me. I

47:39

know that not a lot of people love touring,

47:42

and I used to never like, I used to not get

47:44

it at all. I was like, how could you not love

47:46

doing this? But the older I get,

47:49

the more I see

47:51

the future of me settling down and

47:54

you know, getting married and having having kids one day,

47:56

and I understand why people, you

47:59

know, would slowly kind

48:01

of not enjoyed

48:03

anymore just because they're away from their families and they're

48:05

away from their stability. And I get it. I'm

48:08

especially getting it now more than ever. UM,

48:11

Not being on tour is fine for me. I

48:13

enjoy being at home just as much now. But

48:16

I still have that that passion

48:19

and that joy that I get from touring. I don't

48:21

think I'm hoping. I'm hoping that it never goes away,

48:24

UM, because it was you know, the motivation

48:26

that I had for playing

48:29

shows and making music was I

48:31

want to tour, and I want to play shows and

48:33

I want to meet people and have a community with people.

48:37

Sure right, that's that's really cool. UM.

48:39

Last two things I want to hit on before I let you go was

48:42

the UM. You know, the

48:45

kind of the intersection of UM,

48:48

what you're talking about with the

48:50

UM, you know, kind

48:53

of what we were talking about earlier in regards to you

48:55

know, your expression of the fact

48:57

that you know, you have a faith and you have a backbone

48:59

that UM, you know, is derived

49:01

from all these experiences and you

49:04

know, I'm sure, like you were mentioning at the very

49:06

beginning of the conversation where people you know would

49:08

automatically put you in the same category

49:10

as you know, Julian Baker and you know Daughter

49:12

and all of these um, you know, quieter

49:15

female fronted acts, um.

49:17

You know. But but it is interesting that you

49:20

know, almost universally are

49:23

you know, all through yourself and Julian

49:25

and Daughter and like all of these bands

49:27

are are talking about their intersection

49:30

of life and faith. And I just find it so interesting

49:33

because, like, I don't know, it just seems

49:36

one would point to it being like

49:38

a trend, but it's like, well, it's not a trend. It just happens

49:40

to be that like all these people are arriving at this thing

49:42

at the same time, which you know, to me is always interesting.

49:45

Um. And I presume that something you've noticed

49:47

as well. M hmm, yeah,

49:50

I remember was talking about this. Um.

49:53

Absolutely, I think that it's

49:56

less of a trend and more of the thing

49:58

that people are catch themselves

50:00

too easily. Um.

50:02

Because the

50:05

one common thing that I think I

50:07

do respect about people comparing us,

50:10

you know, Julian Baker and uh,

50:14

I can't there's like there's someone else who kind

50:16

of does that to? You know, I can't remember who I heard

50:18

it compared in like an article one time, but just

50:21

other artists who are talking about things like faces

50:23

and things like life experiences. And

50:26

I think the a's

50:29

honest because it's transparent,

50:32

because it's vulnerable, and there

50:35

is a need, a insatiated

50:37

need for for vulnerability, especially

50:39

in the music community, because you get

50:42

a lot of artists who

50:44

I don't know what their intentions are, but it feels like their

50:46

intentions are to just make it

50:48

and to be rock stars and

50:50

to write popular songs, and

50:53

they usually feel a

50:56

little more shallow and it feels disconnected,

50:58

and I think people are just craving something

51:01

that they can connect with. Um,

51:04

because that's you know, the thing that that music. That's

51:06

when music can really

51:09

affect you is whenever you feel connected to

51:11

the story or um,

51:13

do you feel comforted by hearing something you

51:16

know said in that song that you

51:18

had never heard before? And I

51:20

mean I personally, from experience,

51:23

have attached myself myself to artists

51:26

who speak like that. Um,

51:28

like I said, asked he's burnt, and UM,

51:31

this band All get Out talked about that

51:33

too, and UM,

51:35

they're my favorite bands like I

51:38

constantly listen to them. Copeland is one of those

51:40

two, um,

51:42

because they are being

51:45

vulnerable and UM,

51:48

That's always been something that I've wanted to do.

51:50

And I remember before I went to the studio,

51:52

I was kind of freaking out because all of my songs

51:54

didn't feel like they came together very well and

51:57

I had I had a few extra songs that I had

51:59

to write, and I didn't know if I had it in me to

52:01

write the songs. And I fought

52:03

a lot of pressure to satisfy

52:06

people, you know with the ep to you

52:08

know, do something better, but to also

52:11

stay true to myself. And I was kind of panicking,

52:14

and I messas

52:16

Julian and was like, Hey, do you

52:18

experience this, Like do you feel the sort of pressure

52:21

to like, you know, meet

52:25

the standards that your fans have for you?

52:27

Um, and like does

52:30

that make it harder for you to write? And

52:32

she had the best advice

52:34

that I took with me to the studio and it

52:37

helped me make that record what it

52:39

was. UM. But she told me, you

52:42

know, I do feel that way, but

52:44

I do believe that as long as you are

52:47

honest with yourself and are making

52:49

honest music, that means

52:52

something to you, It's going to

52:54

mean something to other people. I've

52:57

taken that with me and I used

52:59

that every time I write a song now is what

53:02

do I want to hear? What do I want to say

53:05

that is important to me? And that is honest

53:07

to myself? And it usually

53:10

works out. And I think that that's

53:12

you know, that's what Julian is doing, is she's being honest.

53:14

And I think that's what Daughter

53:17

does, is they're being honest and cope

53:19

and they're being honest, and that

53:22

really generates a love

53:25

for people like that because it's

53:28

honesty and there's not a lot of that in the world.

53:30

There's not a lot of that in music. Yeah, no,

53:32

no, for sure, for sure. I like that. Um.

53:35

And the last thing that I want to hit on was uh,

53:38

something I find um. You know, it's

53:41

it's an unintended consequence of

53:44

putting your art out in the world. But

53:46

you know, anytime a person is talking about

53:48

their own, um, you know, emotional

53:50

struggles and you know trials and tribulations

53:52

of their own life, and you know they're in a band and they expressed

53:55

the world and then you know the people that go to

53:57

the shows give feedback and just

54:00

really you know, intense relationship that is created.

54:02

Um, and I know that you know, you you

54:05

you know, probably lie somewhere in between the you know,

54:07

uh, the introvert and extrovert where

54:09

it's like you can you know, kind of adapt to both situations.

54:12

But when people are coming at you with pretty

54:14

intense experiences of them

54:17

listening to your music and being

54:19

you know, affected in really deep ways

54:21

and then echoing it back to you,

54:24

Um, you know, how do you kind of navigate that

54:26

sort of outpouring of emotion? You know,

54:28

I mean with the underpinning of like it's

54:30

it's awesome that people you know express that, like

54:32

that's clearly an incredible thing. Um.

54:36

But you know, but but on the flip

54:38

side, it also is um, you know,

54:40

like it is tasking in certain

54:42

respects of just like oh okay, I

54:44

like I was, I kind of came here to like play

54:47

show, and yes, experienced cool stuff with you,

54:49

but like you know, I wasn't anticipating this

54:51

thing happening or whatever, which you know, like I said,

54:53

unintended consequence. But you know, how how

54:55

have you been how have you tried to like navigate

54:58

that because it's a it's a tough, tough scenario. Yeah,

55:01

it really is tough because you know, you're in the setting

55:04

where um, you know, it's usually

55:06

happens at a merch table or something, and there are

55:08

other kids waiting to talk or something,

55:10

and you want to I want to be you

55:13

know, as attentive

55:16

to them as possible and pay attention

55:18

and show my appreciation because all

55:20

I can think about is how I

55:22

used to do that. I used to you

55:24

know, go watch a band play and it meant something

55:26

to me, and I felt compelled

55:30

to tell them, you know, this means so much

55:32

to me, and this is why. And they've always

55:34

been gracious and thankful,

55:37

and you know, because I

55:39

was vulnerable and all I wanted was

55:41

for them to receive it. And so I try to think about

55:44

that coming into when other kids

55:46

are telling me the same thing, which is wild. Um,

55:51

it's wild to me that that happens because

55:53

I never thought that that would be happening,

55:55

but it does. And it's a strange

55:57

place. But I

56:00

I try my best, UM, which I

56:02

don't think I always do it well, and it

56:04

bums me out, and especially UM

56:07

playing bigger shows, UM to more

56:09

crowds. It happens more often and

56:11

I feel like I have less of a chance to have

56:14

a longer conversation with people and

56:17

um to actually talk about you know, what

56:19

they're experiencing. But UM,

56:23

I want to do my best constantly,

56:26

UM to show

56:28

people that I think that their feelings and

56:31

their experiences are important

56:33

and UM to listen

56:36

to them and hear them and tell them I appreciate

56:38

them in the best way that I can. UM,

56:40

even you know, even if it might be inconveniencing

56:44

or you know, a little

56:46

weird because they're strangers and I don't know them.

56:48

I think that it's why

56:51

I wrote started, It's write why I write

56:53

music. So it's something that I have to, um

56:56

do, It's something that I have that I feel obligated

56:59

and responsible too. UM

57:01

cater to is to allow

57:03

these people to feel like they can talk to me and

57:06

have a discussion about something

57:08

that they feel is important to them. UM.

57:11

I want to make people feel important for sure. And

57:13

so that trump's any kind of uncom

57:17

anxiety that I have with you know, talking

57:19

to strangers or being

57:22

uncomfortable in a setting that you know,

57:24

you don't really have those kinds of conversations, I think

57:26

it's worth you know, putting

57:28

that aside to listen, um,

57:31

because it's gonna make it's gonna it's what's gonna

57:35

helps them to walk away feeling like they

57:37

had a great experience at this show, because

57:39

that's you know, the only

57:41

that's the times that I walked away thinking

57:43

that was a great show, Like this person listened to

57:45

me and they made me feel important. So

57:49

yeah, that's a really I like,

57:51

I like how you put that because I think it is. Um,

57:55

it's not technically something that you know,

57:57

you signed up for, but it's that feeling

58:00

of like you want to have a genuine,

58:02

genuine interaction with that person and you

58:04

want, like you said that, you know, that person

58:06

to feel heard and you know, um, have

58:09

them, have them get what

58:11

they want out of that interaction. And I don't

58:13

mean that in like all right, get what they want and move them along,

58:15

but like, you know, have to have that connectivity,

58:18

um, while still being able to kind of

58:20

you know, reserve a little bit of energy

58:22

for yourself to be like, well, yeah, you know, I've got

58:25

an eight hour drive, Like I can't sit here and

58:27

talk to you for seven hours because of the you

58:29

know this this circumstances. And but

58:32

I really like you've you've you view that for that prison?

58:37

Yeah, dude, Um,

58:39

I for I was going to say something else, but I totally

58:42

just forgot that's my

58:44

fault and I interrupted. No,

58:47

no, yeah,

58:49

it's It's the most important aspect I think.

58:52

And UM,

58:55

I don't ever want to be an artist who feels

58:57

who people feel like is disconnected from

59:00

um. UM. I always want to be available

59:03

and the you

59:05

know, being uncomfortable it's worth it, um.

59:07

And that's that's kind of the m O for life

59:10

in general, is putting yourself

59:12

out of your comfort zone usually benefits both

59:14

parties normally. But

59:17

that's what I try to lift by I guess, yeah,

59:19

that's no, that's true because yeah, if you are, I

59:22

guess if you can recognize that, you

59:24

know, you yourself are uncomfortable. But then

59:26

also it's you know, a person is

59:28

risking a part of themselves by you

59:30

know, exposing themselves to you, um,

59:32

and then you know that's an element of risk

59:35

as well. So it's like if you both are in that you

59:37

know that weird vulnerable

59:39

state, and it's like okay, like what, yeah, we're coming

59:41

out from different angles, but it's still, yeah,

59:43

we're still in the same Vicinity. M

59:48

that's awesome. Well, I I think we've

59:50

I think we've done it. This was fun again. I'm

59:52

sure we could probably like record another hour

59:54

and we'd probably go to other different

59:57

places. But I

59:59

appreciate you wanted to. I appreciate you want to do this

1:00:01

again, and thanks for hooking this up absolutely

1:00:05

thanks for having me. Yeah,

1:00:18

yeah, yeah, that was awesome.

1:00:21

Thank you very much, Brianna for hanging

1:00:23

out or Brianna Brianna, you know, I just

1:00:25

didn't even say her name, and that's that. But many

1:00:28

rooms, that is what you need to pay attention to. And

1:00:31

it was a great chat. Hopefully you found

1:00:33

found some enjoyable tidbits

1:00:35

in there, right, because that's why you come

1:00:38

to this, uh, this show, to get those enjoyable

1:00:40

tidbits right. I'd

1:00:43

like to obviously give a shout out to

1:00:45

the beautiful people we Transfer for supporting

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this show. Go to we transfer dot com. They make

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your life so much easier when you're getting huge

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They support art, they support podcasters,

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they support musicians. It's the best.

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We Transfer dot com and what do I got

1:01:06

for you next week? Um, Actually, you know what, I'm gonna keep

1:01:08

it secret. I know I normally tease the next

1:01:10

week's guest, but this this week, I'm I'm

1:01:12

keeping a secret because it's gonna be one of two things. That's kind

1:01:15

of the reason why I'm sort of hedging my bets, so to

1:01:17

speak. I don't know want, I don't want to reveal

1:01:19

something until it comes comes to fruition. So

1:01:22

that's what we got. But I even have just unbelievable

1:01:25

guests in June. So much great

1:01:27

conversation I've recorded already from people

1:01:29

I'm yeah, becoming friends with, and it's

1:01:31

it's great. I like it. That's why this podcast

1:01:33

is so much fun. Anyways, that's

1:01:36

all. And please be safe

1:01:38

everybody, right, be safe, have a safe from

1:01:40

WORL day weekend. Don't do anything too crazy, and

1:01:42

just maybe relax a little bit, right, take

1:01:44

take it easy, all right, I'll talk to you later.

1:01:51

You've been listening to the jabber Jaw podcast

1:01:53

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