0:00

Hey everybody . This is Michelle

0:02

and this is Julie . Welcome

0:05

to a blonde , a brunette and a mic

0:07

podcast . What is our

0:09

podcast all about , you ask ?

0:11

Well , we're 250 something , women with

0:13

life experience and oh , plenty

0:15

to say which is exactly

0:18

what we're going to do right now

0:20

. We

0:41

are here today with some

0:43

more fun stuff involving weddings

0:45

, because we had a wedding segment

0:48

that was related to

0:50

wedding etiquette , related to

0:52

kind of do's and don'ts , you know , with

0:54

weddings and then the cost associated

0:57

who does what ?

0:58

Why ? Who does what ?

0:59

Who , what , where , why , when , and we came to

1:01

the conclusion that there are a variety

1:04

of ways that people like to

1:06

do their nuptials , I guess , and

1:08

it really is dependent upon I don't like

1:11

that word , nuptials , it sounds

1:13

weird what does it sound like ?

1:14

Reminds , I think of nipples . Only

1:17

you Nuptials , yeah

1:20

.

1:20

Yeah , anyway , well , we were

1:22

talking before about the weddings

1:24

and the cost of weddings and it's interesting

1:26

. I

1:30

was having a conversation with my sister about this and she actually brought up a really

1:32

good point . She said a lot of the things that are tradition . Even though they don't

1:34

really hold the same meaning

1:37

today that they would have a couple

1:39

hundred years ago , having a little

1:41

bit of that tradition in there is

1:43

still special . It kind of makes the

1:45

event special at least that's her thought process

1:47

. And so they would be individuals

1:49

who have children that would be getting

1:51

married . You know they went through the big

1:54

to-do wedding just like we did Mark and Angie

1:56

. Mark and Angie . Yeah they had a big

1:58

, beautiful wedding and stuff as well , but you know we're

2:00

going to have their two children coming up , and

2:02

so it'll be interesting to see if

2:05

their daughter is not

2:07

wanting to do something like that .

2:09

Like I already am prepared .

2:10

I already know Zoe is not going to want to do

2:12

something like that .

2:13

So all eyes on her . You don't

2:15

think she'll like that .

2:17

Girlfriend does not like that and

2:19

frankly it's like if Andrew ever

2:21

gets married and Amelia's in the picture , which

2:23

I think she will be , she's

2:27

not one that likes big crowds and all eyes on her either . So it'll just be kind of you know . I

2:29

think what it boils down to is people

2:32

need to do what makes them feel most comfortable

2:34

. Yeah , and if they have the resources in

2:36

parents if they're , you know , at

2:38

that age where their parents might be helping them , or

2:41

they have the resources as older

2:43

adults then you do what makes you happy

2:45

.

2:45

You know it's your day .

2:47

It just feels like there's a lot of just

2:49

in doing the research and the discussions

2:51

that we've been having and everything . There's so much

2:53

opinion surrounding what happens

2:56

.

2:56

Well , there's opinions and

2:58

a lot of different family

3:00

dynamics now than there used to be

3:02

. To your point , you know

3:04

to have some of the tradition in there . So

3:06

some of these stories I

3:09

think our listeners will get the

3:11

gist of what we're talking about as

3:13

we go through some of these and

3:15

they're not scenarios , these are like things

3:18

that are- real stories , yeah

3:20

, or , and some of them are .

3:21

You know what we're here's what we're wanting

3:23

to do , you guys . We want to go through some of these . Some of them are from Reddit , some of them

3:25

are . You know what we're here's what we're wanting to do , you guys , we want to go through some of these

3:28

. Some of them are from Reddit , some of them are from Quora , both sites

3:30

that people post on kind of I

3:32

don't know what you would even say similar to maybe Twitter

3:34

or something I don't know . But there you know

3:37

lots of different stuff on these sites . I

3:39

actually kind of get lost in the minutiae of

3:41

scrolling through , kind of like people do with TikTok

3:43

, yeah , but there's all kinds of cool stuff

3:45

on Quora in particular that has

3:47

to do with , you know , a lot of World War II stuff

3:50

and things that are just like horrible pictures

3:52

that you would never see anywhere else that make you realize

3:54

how awful , like if someone said that the

3:56

Holocaust didn't exist . They're smoking crack

3:58

, seriously , just whatever . Total

4:01

side note , but anyway . So we have a few stories

4:03

here and a few scenarios Smoking

4:05

something man . They're smoking something I don't know

4:07

what , or they're in a huge

4:09

denial .

4:10

I'm actually impressed that you know that that's out

4:13

there . People out

4:15

there say that that the . Holocaust didn't exist

4:17

. Yeah , they're smoking crack , anyways

4:20

. Yeah , I was going to go into some other things on that , but

4:22

that's for a whole other episode .

4:24

Well , maybe we'll do that with our next one , because

4:26

we have a lot of other things that we're going to talk about in our next

4:28

one . So , in this regard

4:30

, here are some scenarios . We're just going to read a

4:32

couple of these and then comment

4:34

on them , and really would love to get your feedback

4:36

on them as well , because everything is really dependent

4:38

right on someone's family .

4:40

Well and it might , as we do , go through

4:42

these . It might give people some good ideas on

4:44

some of the situations that they might be facing

4:47

with scenarios within their

4:49

own wedding that

4:51

they have coming up and that they need to prepare for

4:54

Example , I have a stepdad

4:56

and a dad that's not me . I'm

4:58

talking about this first scenario we're going to get into . Why

5:00

don't you go ahead and read the rules ?

5:10

In this scenario , the daughter has multiple dads because parents have

5:12

both remarried . The question was has there been any drama with both

5:14

dads when you had to determine who was going to be walking the bride down the aisle and there

5:16

was actually a lot of stuff out there about

5:18

this and in

5:21

varying degrees , you would see what people

5:23

were like well , why is

5:25

that big of a deal ? Because

5:27

it's a patriarchal thing

5:29

, and this is what I ran into . It's like you

5:31

know , women are not cat , are not cattle , they're

5:34

not chattel , they're not property . And

5:36

when this originated if you dial back

5:38

to when you know weddings were

5:40

started , I guess know the

5:42

daughter was given away to

5:44

the husband . There was a dowry that

5:47

was provided and that dowry was

5:49

kind of like payment , and so they

5:51

would take the daughter , I guess , off

5:53

their hands . So now this is transitioned

5:55

into things that have to do with modern day weddings

5:58

, and it's just nobody really knows how

6:00

they originated . But I think when

6:02

you are a 23 , 25

6:04

year old , you know , bride , you don't necessarily care

6:06

right , you just know that it's

6:09

an emotional thing if you

6:11

have a father to walk you down the aisle . And

6:14

in this scenario there's a gentleman

6:16

who says , and I quote my

6:18

ex-wife married a man who was very good to our kids

6:20

, always there when they need

6:22

them . I didn't like him and my daughter

6:25

was getting married and she wanted her stepdad

6:27

me to walk her down the aisle . So I did what any

6:29

mature adult would do I whined to my older

6:31

sister how could my daughter do

6:33

this to me ? She knows I hate him . This

6:36

is so disrespectful . And on and on and on

6:38

, until my sister , a wise and

6:40

wonderful woman who does not mince

6:42

words , said shut up

6:44

, this is her day , not your day . You

6:46

will show up , shut up , wear what you're told

6:49

and walk wherever and with whomever . She

6:51

tells you Got it and what

6:54

it boiled down to was . It

6:56

was probably a really big deal for this

6:58

girl to try to figure out how

7:00

not to hurt people's feelings , and

7:02

perhaps she was closer to her

7:04

stepdad than she was to her real

7:07

dad . But like we were talking off

7:09

camera about this and

7:11

you were asking me what would happen if

7:14

Zoe did that , or if

7:16

someone in my family who said I

7:18

don't want my dad to walk me down the aisle , I want you mom

7:20

to walk me down the aisle or something like that . I

7:22

know it would be a big

7:25

, there would be a lot of drama around that

7:27

and I personally am like , whatever

7:30

that bride wants to do , I

7:32

would be probably just fine with it . I

7:34

mean , she wants to walk by herself If

7:37

she wants her dad to walk her down the aisle , if

7:39

she wants her stepdad to

7:41

walk her down the aisle not my daughter because she doesn't-

7:43

have a stepdad .

7:44

As you're saying this , I 100%

7:46

agree . You just think of all the family dynamics

7:49

that can go along with these situations

7:51

. But to this sister's

7:53

point that told her brother it's

7:55

her day and she

7:58

needs to be able to do with

8:00

it however she wants and

8:02

whatever she feels she needs to do with it .

8:04

Okay , in this scenario , let me ask you this so

8:06

this dad , he's paying for the wedding . Yeah

8:09

, do you look at it any different ? No , the

8:12

stepdad's not paying for the wedding , no

8:14

different . So is it

8:16

she owes him ? Well

8:18

, that's what I'm asking you . It's like would she feel-

8:20

.

8:21

Putting myself in that daughter's situation would

8:23

. I wouldn't want to feel indebted to my

8:25

dad by , say , by having

8:27

him walk me down the aisle , even though that's

8:30

not what I wanted . Yeah , and

8:32

I have to say , if well

8:34

, who knows financially who took care of what

8:36

? But but yeah , she should be able

8:38

to do whatever she wants and that's

8:40

that .

8:40

I had this scenario with one of my friends a couple

8:43

of years ago whose daughter was getting married and

8:45

the woman has remarried and

8:48

the stepdad is not like a

8:50

dad dad , you know . I mean it's not like he

8:52

. These are grown children now , but he's

8:55

in their life and he spends time with them , but they

8:57

don't call him dad , it's not like that , but their real

8:59

dad bailed on them on

9:01

all , all three of these kids when they

9:03

were young . I think she was in her teens when

9:06

he bailed and actually she ended up . She

9:08

got pregnant when she was , uh , 18 or

9:10

19 years old and her dad kicked her out and then

9:12

he moved away and he's kind of a deadbeat

9:14

, honestly . Yeah so , but she invites

9:17

him to the wedding and the question

9:19

is does her dad ?

9:21

oh , I would not have him walk me down the aisle

9:23

, okay , well and that's not being her

9:25

, but I mean totally up

9:27

to her Exactly , but do ?

9:28

you see what I'm talking about here . It's like here's

9:31

this guy who's a total deadbeat , doesn't

9:33

pay for shit for this wedding , doesn't help with anything

9:35

, basically just shows up and this mom

9:38

has been taking care of those kids

9:40

, you know , almost lost the house

9:42

a couple times , got these kids through

9:45

school , supported her daughter when she

9:47

had this child and gave it up for adoption , all

9:49

this stuff . And this guy , this dad , wasn't even

9:51

there , but my friend was so incredibly

9:53

gracious about it because

9:56

, to the point of what we're talking

9:58

about here , the dad walked her down the aisle

10:00

, oh wow , and the mom

10:02

was probably not super

10:04

happy about it , but her daughter never would

10:07

have known and I thought that was pretty gracious

10:09

of her . It's got goosebumps . Yeah

10:11

it is , you know , she , so the daughter to

10:13

her , to her , you know credit . She

10:15

included her father . She's perhaps

10:18

forgiven him , who knows , there's other circumstances

10:20

and things that have come up , but at the end

10:22

of the day he took that role and

10:25

, you know , walked her down the aisle when he really hadn't

10:27

been in her life .

10:28

And this is actually wherein we almost

10:30

I'm thinking of the episode

10:33

we did on Minding your Own Business because I'm

10:35

sure there were plenty of whispers going

10:37

with her dad walking her down the aisle

10:39

and people you know

10:42

, placing judgment and saying

10:44

things , which

10:47

was another part of etiquette that you shouldn't do .

10:48

Well , I'm honestly none of nobody really knew him , so

10:50

it was kind of . I mean

10:53

, people had been around this family a

10:55

lot probably did , but people that

10:57

were in the last 10 years or even the even

10:59

the groom didn't really know

11:01

him . But she made that decision

11:03

and it probably was a tough decision for her to

11:05

make because her mom was really the one that

11:07

had kind of carried her through most everything . But

11:10

what I also learned is that as adults

11:13

, as this woman had become an adult

11:15

, she had learned to

11:17

forgive and put

11:20

some of those things aside and I was really

11:22

proud of her just because it was

11:24

her day . Yeah

11:29

, she did it the way she wanted to do . Now , had she not done that , he

11:32

really wouldn't have had a leg to stand on , but I wonder if he would have even

11:34

shown up honestly , yeah , if he wasn't playing that role

11:36

. So they were able to avoid a

11:38

lot of drama because

11:40

the mom was gracious

11:42

in that scenario ? Yeah , so

11:44

if the scenario is reversed and you

11:47

know it was like I

11:49

was saying before one of our kids or something , it's like

11:51

I don't know how , because the parents

11:53

have been involved more , you know they're around

11:55

more , so it might've been more of an issue .

11:57

You know , there's a Swedish tradition

11:59

where the couple walks down

12:02

the aisle together , so hand

12:04

in hand . I kind of like that actually , so

12:06

you don't even have to worry about any of that shit

12:09

.

12:10

And I think you know , when you look at traditional weddings and

12:12

in churches , it might be a

12:14

little bit different than if you have a wedding in

12:16

a venue that's a non-religious venue . You know

12:19

, you might be able to do it a little bit differently , but I can

12:21

recall the guys you like you

12:23

were saying before . The guys walked down

12:26

the aisle with their mom and then their mom

12:28

sits down and the guy stands up at the altar and waits

12:30

for his bride . It's kind of a big deal you know

12:32

the big reveal and all the everybody stands

12:35

up when the bride comes in . You know , and all that kind

12:37

of stuff .

12:38

It's kind of such grandeur .

12:40

I did it all . I did it all . So it's like I'm not

12:42

throwing shade at all , I'm just more like wow

12:45

when . I look at it now . We just did

12:47

what we thought we were supposed

12:49

to do . You don't even question it . You just this

12:52

is how it is , which I think is a

12:54

little weird . But now that I'm an adult I

12:59

look at it a little bit differently . One gal , when we were looking through some

13:01

of these scenarios , solved that problem by having her dad

13:04

and her stepdad both walk her down the

13:06

aisle . Where she walked in with her stepdad

13:08

and then halfway through her

13:16

dad was waiting , shook the stepdad's hand , took his daughter and then went up to

13:18

the altar that way , that seems like a really good way to pretty cool .

13:20

Yeah , it's a great way to solve the problem .

13:21

But when you've got young people getting married , they're

13:23

not they really are not necessarily doing

13:26

a lot of this thought process

13:28

. They're not trying to solve these problems

13:30

. They don't even know that these problems potentially even

13:32

exist . So as you get older , I think

13:35

you kind of will understand a little bit more of those

13:37

things .

13:37

Well , and I would imagine that there's

13:39

more of this that goes on now , because

13:42

families , there's a lot more

13:44

blended families than there used to be , there's

13:46

a lot more divorces and remarries

13:49

and things of that nature . So the

13:52

up and coming generations

13:54

they've had to deal with that a lot more , whereas

13:57

yours and mine our

13:59

generation . Typically , we

14:01

still had our dads to walk us down the aisle .

14:03

Yeah Well , one story I was looking

14:06

at or when I was reading through , the girl had

14:08

three dads her real dad and two

14:10

stepdads . Yeah , and she's like , and she

14:12

was close with all of them , she didn't know

14:14

what to do , so she just walked herself down the aisle

14:16

. She didn't have any of them . You

14:19

know , that seems like a really logical way to

14:21

do it to me . I don't know .

14:22

That's probably what I would do , Well

14:26

, I mean nothing like getting all the attention . Yeah

14:29

, right , yeah .

14:30

Yeah , okay , do you want to read one of these

14:32

other ones ?

14:34

Yes , I will . There

14:37

was one where it talks about

14:39

her fiance and she wanted

14:41

a wedding with only close friends and family

14:43

and she

14:45

has a very large family and she

14:47

only wanted to ask 10 people and

14:50

her question she was actually kind of questioning

14:52

and looking for comments and

14:55

how to prevent the drama of

14:57

that from unfolding

14:59

and choosing or determining

15:01

who does what . So what

15:04

they were talking about essentially was to avoid

15:06

posting . These are just things

15:08

that we never had to think about . Avoid posting

15:10

on social media very

15:13

much of your plans or what you're intending

15:15

to do , because that will reduce

15:17

the amount of people knowing , even if

15:19

you're trying to keep it small and intimate , and

15:22

from people asking if they're invited , things

15:25

like that . I have noticed that with other

15:27

things . Sometimes I'll put something and then somebody

15:29

will say , well , why wasn't I

15:31

? invited or something , and I was like , oh

15:33

shit , like yeah , so

15:36

yeah , not putting pre-posting too many

15:38

of your plans if you're wanting to keep it .

15:41

You think some of this has to do with the personality

15:44

of the bride and of the groom . We're

15:46

only talking about bride for a sec , but really the groom

15:48

as well , and if they're

15:51

like as adults , to me

15:53

that's like no big deal , that's like well

15:55

, we kept it small .

15:56

Yeah , I wouldn't get butthurt about that . Yeah

15:59

, and social media was a big one because

16:01

, just like I was talking about , you know

16:03

other

16:07

things where people after the fact are like and this is what happened . You know why people

16:09

are going to wonder why they weren't invited to the wedding , and she

16:11

was surprised too that they had people

16:13

make comments about how they weren't invited to

16:16

our wedding and she said well , I understand they

16:18

may have been disappointed . It wasn't a slight against

16:20

them in any way . We chose to invite our closest

16:22

family members . Those that we didn't invite

16:25

who spoke up , were family members

16:27

that never really had anything to do with us

16:29

. We had them as friends on social media

16:31

and maybe saw them once a year , for Thanksgiving

16:33

Maybe . So

16:36

I get that , I do . I do

16:39

too . I do get that . Especially , you know

16:41

, there's probably things that come into play , like

16:43

with finances and things like that

16:45

and when , if you really have to be thoughtful

16:47

about that part of

16:49

it , you're going to have to be really thoughtful

16:51

about who you're going to have in your

16:53

circle there for that special day .

16:56

I would agree with you 100%

16:58

on that . I feel like , as you kind

17:00

of mature , you don't feel like you

17:02

have so much angst . This is my feeling about

17:04

it so much angst around , worrying

17:07

about upsetting somebody . And

17:09

we had , I guess would be my cousin's daughter

17:12

, get married this last year and

17:14

my mom was invited . So

17:16

the seniors were all invited , right , but none

17:19

of the kids , and I'm I

17:21

mean , I'm calling myself a kid , but you know what I mean . None

17:23

of the kid or our kids , or anything like that

17:25

so she's the same age as Andrew , like

17:27

my kids and I

17:30

was not I mean , I was fine with it . It's

17:32

like I understand they're trying to

17:34

keep the wedding small and I'm not close with this

17:36

girl . I mean , she's darling and

17:38

I see her at family functions once a

17:40

year kind of a thing .

17:41

She's a great kid .

17:42

But I mean , it didn't hurt my feelings that she

17:44

was not inviting me . But now she's pregnant

17:46

and we just got an invitation for the

17:49

baby shower . So I was kind

17:51

of like okay , I wasn't even quite

17:53

sure what to do with that Cause I'm like

17:55

I'm okay to go to the baby

17:57

shower , but I'm not I don't know . I just felt kind of

17:59

weird , I'm not able to go . As it turns out it's

18:01

not even on a day when I can go . So

18:03

my regrets will be going out to the , to

18:06

the new mom . But I just thought that

18:08

was kind of interesting , that . I was invited

18:10

to one and not the other .

18:11

Is that weird . I totally get why you would

18:13

have that thought . But , I don't

18:15

think it's necessarily weird that not

18:18

the wedding , but yes to the shower . I

18:20

think the shower's being put on by somebody

18:22

else , probably , and so it's

18:25

not necessarily her guest

18:27

list . It is , but do you know what I'm saying

18:29

you ?

18:29

know how showers You've got to make your guest list , I assume , yeah

18:31

.

18:31

I mean to a certain degree . But you know like

18:33

somebody else is pretty much doing all that planning

18:36

, not like when you're getting married

18:38

, the bride pretty much is doing a lot of that planning

18:40

and knows specifically what she's

18:42

wanting . I think it's a little different for a baby shower

18:44

.

18:45

You know what I'm saying ? I'm not offended or anything

18:47

by it . It's more just kind of

18:49

like scratch my head on it a little bit .

18:51

I get why you do . Yeah , that's what I say . I

18:53

totally get why .

18:54

I mean , I'm going to send a gift and I

18:56

have no , there's no ill will or anything , I just am not

18:58

able to go so

19:04

, and . I would love to see a lot of my extended family

19:07

. It's just it's far and I'm sure the baby will be darling

19:09

, and I'll probably see the baby when he or she

19:11

is a year old .

19:12

Because I mean , you know , when kids graduate

19:14

they send like announcements

19:16

to as many people as possible .

19:19

I wonder why they do that .

19:20

I know right , get that get that all

19:22

the Benjamins in .

19:23

Yeah , all the Benjamins , it's

19:26

all about the Benjamins .

19:27

It's like oh , my fifth cousin

19:30

, twice removed , or whatever

19:32

, their second cousin is graduating

19:34

from high school .

19:36

Okay , hey , do you want to read this one

19:38

? That's the wedding drama

19:40

one , the family drama . Yeah , it's a little

19:42

long , but I think it's kind of an interesting

19:45

story , because these are the things

19:47

that you might run across

19:49

actually .

19:50

Yes , I just got married and it was a

19:52

destination wedding in Florida . My

19:54

brother was an important part in my wedding

19:56

and it was important for me for

19:58

him to come . He also was going

20:01

to walk my mom down the aisle . My

20:03

mom paid for his expenses plane , hotel

20:05

suite or , excuse me , suit

20:07

, etc . And was going to pay

20:09

for all expenses in Florida . He promised

20:12

and swore up and down that he wouldn't miss

20:14

it for the world . Well , the day before

20:16

my wedding , as I was putting together

20:18

stuff for my coordinator , my dad

20:21

told me he missed his flight on purpose

20:23

and will no longer be coming . His

20:25

first excuse was that he was

20:27

sick . The next was he lost his wallet

20:29

. I cried and basically had a mental breakdown

20:32

that he wasn't coming . The thing

20:34

that hurt the most . He never actually

20:36

told me until my husband text

20:38

him to talk to me . He told me to

20:41

go F myself and that I

20:43

don't need him there . I told him he's

20:45

dead to me and blocked him . Haven't

20:47

contacted him ever since . After

20:50

the wedding was over I found out that

20:52

the real reason he didn't come because

20:54

of his girlfriend needed him home

20:56

. Yes , his girlfriend was invited

20:58

and also promised to come , then

21:00

canceled two days before His girlfriend

21:03

told him to miss his own sister's wedding for

21:05

her , and he listened . They

21:07

have only been together a couple of months

21:09

and I just felt like what he

21:11

did was unforgivable . He

21:13

didn't even try to congratulate us after

21:16

he could have texted my husband or

21:18

my mom , but it took him a whole week to do

21:20

that , and it's because my mom told him

21:22

to . He's 37 , by

21:24

the way and now I'm getting a bunch

21:26

of crap from my mom about how

21:28

I'm wrong and being a brat and need

21:30

to make up with my brother because he really

21:32

didn't do anything that bad . I guess

21:34

what I'm asking is how would you go

21:37

about this ? Would you ever speak to your sibling

21:39

again , or would this be something unforgivable

21:42

?

21:42

Let's just start out by saying her sibling is

21:44

kind of a D-bag . Yeah , I

21:46

was thinking a dick 37

21:50

years old and he is being led around

21:52

by his girlfriend by his nose him

21:54

and not her .

21:56

All of those things that he did , the

21:58

lying , the promising and then breaking the promises

22:13

, the staying home with her , all

22:15

of it that is all him and

22:17

not her . So she needs to just let

22:19

that shit go . Not easy

22:21

, I know that's an easy say , hard do

22:24

, but at the same time it's

22:27

just going to cause her continual

22:30

heartache and , yes

22:32

, that will always be there in her brain when

22:35

she sees her brother , like if she were to

22:37

forgive and move on . It will always

22:39

be there . She'll always think about it . That's

22:41

something that , yes , you can forgive

22:43

but probably not forget , you

22:46

know but for her own sanity .

22:48

Over the course of time , you time , it'll feel better

22:50

.

22:50

Yeah , and her own well-being , she just

22:52

needs to yeah .

22:53

Well , he's not remorseful , and I think that's part

22:55

of the issue . That

23:00

is a hard yeah , and what we don't know here is if they had a really good relationship or if he's

23:02

kind of a flaky dude to begin with , because he sounds pretty flaky

23:04

to me and I mean , maybe that's

23:07

not how he is normally , but

23:09

she obviously was counting on him

23:11

and it's her day and all of this . But to

23:13

your point , I believe that something like that

23:15

is forgivable . Now , does

23:17

it ? Is it compounded by other

23:19

issues that have come up ? Who knows

23:22

? You know , but dealing with

23:24

it head on and just saying I'm not

23:26

going to let this ruin anything else

23:28

, or family gatherings or what have you , is

23:30

probably the most adult thing

23:32

to do . But , one thing I've learned

23:35

is that sometimes

23:37

, all the time , really , you can not

23:39

pick your family , but you can pick your friends

23:41

. You can't pick your brother and you

23:43

can't choose how he's going to behave , and

23:46

so you might make the decision

23:48

down the road that you just don't want to have a close relationship

23:50

with them , because there's multiple things

23:52

that have happened , you know , and that's totally

23:55

fine . If you're looking out for your own

23:57

mental well-being and

23:59

you don't want to be around people that are toxic

24:01

or what appear to be toxic like this , then I

24:03

say knock yourself out . But forgiving

24:05

is really important , not ? for him but

24:08

for you .

24:09

Yeah , forgiving , letting

24:11

it go . And to your point , I think that's perfect

24:14

. She can choose to , not , it doesn't

24:16

have to be a close relationship going forward . She

24:19

can forgive it , we can move on , but

24:21

it's not like she has to invite him over for Christmas

24:23

Eve and to their child's

24:25

baptism or whatever . It's

24:28

just interesting to me . It says my brother was an

24:30

important part in my wedding and

24:32

it was important for her that he

24:34

come . So , uh , it's

24:37

, it's unfortunate . You know , obviously

24:39

I would . From the sounds of that , I would think

24:41

that they were close in some way , shape or form

24:43

as siblings . So you

24:45

know for him , maybe he was having a midlife crisis

24:48

, even though he's just got a girlfriend I mean

24:50

, who knows , whatever that

24:55

she's getting married and he's not and whatever .

24:57

Who knows , there may be a variety . What I was going to say is

24:59

that his behavior is kind of the symptom of

25:01

a much bigger issue , whatever that issue

25:03

is .

25:04

Yeah , for sure .

25:05

Perhaps he would have not been a great addition

25:07

to the wedding had he been there . So let's

25:09

just call it what it is and say the

25:12

way it happened is probably the best

25:14

At least that's my thought Okay

25:16

, I have one from Cora that

25:18

I wanted to share . This

25:20

is kind of an interesting one . So we

25:22

were invited to a wedding a month ago and

25:24

we send in our RSVPs on time . Today

25:27

we were asked if we could only come to the ceremony

25:29

because they went over the limit for

25:32

the reception . Would it be rude to decline

25:34

the wedding ceremony ? Like , first of all

25:36

, who does that ? Who

25:38

says sorry , can you not come to the reception ? That's

25:40

so tacky .

25:41

So , so tacky , Agree , agree

25:43

.

25:48

Even if they went over it . It's like figure that shit out if you

25:50

invited . One of the things that I had run across is that people sometimes

25:53

will over invite because there's fallout there's

25:55

a ton of fallout you know I think they say it's like 50

25:57

to 70 percent fallout . You know , and

26:00

when you're planning for uh

26:02

, food and all of those things , usually you have

26:04

an rsvp count that's in advance

26:06

, a a couple of weeks or so in advance , so catering

26:08

can get set . But in this particular case

26:10

it's like I guess too many people

26:13

were going to show up and there wasn't going to be enough food

26:15

. So a you

26:17

come up with more money or you come up

26:19

with another way to be able to manage this

26:21

. That's my thought process and absolutely

26:24

unequivocally , do not reach

26:26

out to people and say , ooh , can you only

26:28

?

26:28

come to the ceremony , can you imagine ? I

26:31

just don't know that that's even the right , like

26:33

an okay thing to do . I mean , were

26:35

you born in a barn ? Well

26:37

, okay , so to the question

26:39

I probably wouldn't go

26:41

at all . I wouldn't either . I mean , I

26:43

would just like graciously decline

26:46

. Yeah , I wouldn't go at all . So I'd

26:48

say , yeah , no problem , we don't have

26:50

to go to the reception or the ceremony

26:52

, would you ?

26:52

send a gift .

26:54

I don't know .

26:55

Would you Well , at this point I probably already would

26:57

have put the gift in the mail .

26:58

Yeah , or had it , and yes

27:00

, I'm thinking I probably would . Yeah

27:02

, I probably would , because I'm not

27:04

that much of a drama queen

27:07

. Yeah , to do . You know what I mean .

27:09

To really make a point that way yeah .

27:12

But yeah , so I would , yeah , I'm sure I would send something

27:14

.

27:14

This makes me think of not this , but it's like I

27:16

was thinking about when I worked at Nordstrom . There

27:18

was a group of

27:21

women that we spent a lot of time

27:23

with , and one of them was getting married . Well

27:30

, this happened with two different people , but she was so secretive about it so I don't know it was

27:33

her first wedding and everything . I don't know what it was . She didn't want us invited . We

27:35

actually had like a little get together at a restaurant

27:37

to have our bridal shower . We were just going to do something

27:39

really casual for her . She didn't show

27:41

up , she declined coming

27:43

, so we had this , yeah , and

27:46

so I ended up sending a gift . She

27:48

was like a really good friend of ours , so it was very

27:50

odd she didn't tell anybody that she wasn't going

27:52

to come , she declined . No , she just declined

27:54

she just said okay , yeah , she , she regrets

27:56

, didn't come to whatever the I don't remember where it

27:58

was .

27:59

It was at a restaurant or something .

28:00

This is a long time ago but my feelings

28:02

were really hurt and I and I recall

28:05

thinking , you know , I wish

28:07

she would have just said hey , this is going to be just

28:09

close family . But it felt like we got , it

28:11

was kind of avoided . It just was really uncomfortable

28:13

and not discussed

28:16

at all . And so here

28:18

I am , being as boisterous as I can be , and

28:20

we're like , let's just have a little thing for her

28:22

, like , so she knows , we think she's special . It

28:24

wasn't like a big old bridal shower or

28:26

anything like that . It was just like we would normally get

28:28

together and all of us had little gifts and stuff

28:30

.

28:30

Yeah , that has to do with your generosity

28:33

, jules .

28:33

You're always thinking of other people .

28:35

No , you're always thinking of other people and

28:37

I can just say that you

28:39

know , just like , she does things for me , like

28:41

because she wants to make memories and it's important

28:43

, and then I have to set the boundaries

28:46

I've gotten really good at setting boundaries with

28:48

Julie and I'm like nope , I can't do

28:50

that .

28:51

She sets boundaries with me , sorry . Push

28:53

push , push . No , it was . It

28:56

was more just kind of like I just

28:58

felt , kind of my feelings were hurt

29:00

, I'm sure , and I can see I don't

29:02

think it really had anything to do with the fact that all

29:04

of us were not her close friends . But then

29:06

I saw some pictures from the wedding and there were a lot of people

29:08

there . So I was like , huh , okay

29:11

, let's just let that one go . We're just

29:13

gonna let that one go .

29:15

But see , it just goes back to .

29:17

It's like I'm not gonna say anything

29:19

because she's my friend and I don't want to ruin

29:21

our friendship or anything , but I was like

29:24

fuck yeah , I felt kind of bad

29:26

yeah , let it go we have another

29:28

one also also with nordstrom

29:30

. She uh was the second wedding for both of

29:32

them and they were so low-key about

29:34

it . They didn't even tell anybody what they were doing

29:37

, they just basically bailed and went to

29:39

mexico and we all found out about

29:41

it a different group of people , they kind of eloped

29:43

, they kind of eloped , yeah , but I mean they were

29:45

just so quiet about it , just so quiet

29:47

. So we all got together and put a gift together and

29:49

sent a gift you know , and

29:52

maybe to their house or left it on

29:54

her desk , I don't even remember , but it was

29:56

like she just did not want any attention

29:59

surrounding it . So after going through a lot

30:01

of these things here , I'm kind of like let it be

30:03

, julie , just let it be . Yeah , I

30:05

want to celebrate the people that I love . And

30:07

so you can see how , when you're looking

30:09

at some of these things , how people might get upset

30:11

. I don't get upset that easy

30:13

. I'm kind of like , well , got my afternoon back whatever

30:16

, I don't have to go , yeah , but

30:18

you know we were never included to begin with . So

30:20

stop trying to include yourself in something you're not

30:22

included in .

30:23

It's what that boils down to Inserting yourself

30:25

. Yeah , yeah , you know

30:27

, it's I don't know . Well , there's plenty

30:29

of stories though . There really is

30:31

in regard to it . It's

30:34

been kind of eye-opening actually , you

30:36

know , looking into , like we did last

30:38

week , all the things that were talked

30:40

about reflecting on our own

30:42

weddings and you know the circumstances

30:45

that were surrounding that and those

30:47

, and then , yeah , just like

30:50

the family , family friends

30:52

, family friends all the possibilities

30:55

of , yeah , feelings and emotions

30:57

and hurt feelings and undisclosed

31:01

whatever . Yeah , there's a lot

31:03

. So , and I think with a

31:05

wedding it's even more so with , because

31:07

your friends in that situation almost

31:09

seem like family in regard

31:11

to the way scenarios can turn

31:13

out Like some of the ones

31:15

you were just talking about and we were adults

31:18

.

31:18

It wasn't like we were younger or anything . So

31:20

let me ask you this it's like I don't even know if you know

31:22

anybody who's been married several times . I

31:24

think that I know people maybe have been married three times

31:26

or something and they're going into their

31:28

fourth wedding . Do you look at it differently

31:30

? Do you say , I mean like , if you're not invited , if

31:33

I was invited to , not invited to someone's fourth

31:35

wedding , I wouldn't care . I wouldn't care .

31:37

No .

31:37

And I'm like if you have a big old dress

31:39

on your fourth wedding and a big old to do

31:41

.

31:41

that seems like a lot to me . I do

31:44

, I agree .

31:45

And gifts . It's like they're all pretty established

31:47

at that point .

31:47

Yeah , it would need to be really

31:50

different . You know , the

31:52

third and fourth time around , I would say

31:54

or the fifth time

31:56

. Or the fifth . Yeah , it's like Elizabeth

31:58

Taylor . How many times was she married ? I think she was like

32:00

seven or something .

32:02

Yeah , okay , I've got one more that I

32:04

wanted to read . Well , here we have one that I

32:06

think is kind of an interesting question

32:08

that was posed . Is it transphobic

32:10

to ask my trans brother , only

32:13

out to me and my parents , to

32:15

wear a dress to my wedding ? He wants to wear

32:17

a tuxedo , but doesn't want to tell anyone about

32:19

him being trans . I'm worried about it causing

32:21

drama . So initially , what I'm seeing

32:24

here is that his trans

32:26

brother was born a female , has

32:28

not come out to anybody but the mom and

32:30

to the sister , but wants to come to the wedding

32:33

in male , attire a tuxedo

32:35

.

32:36

As she has transitioned to a

32:38

male now and she just wants to live

32:40

.

32:40

He wants to be able to live authentically

32:42

, but it's not like a known

32:45

, so nobody's going to really know who

32:47

this ? Person is . So how would you handle

32:49

something like that ?

32:51

Honestly , I would want my

32:54

brother or sister , if they've transitioned

32:56

, however , they're living their life I would

32:58

include them and I would want them to show up

33:01

the way that they need to show up .

33:01

The way that they are .

33:02

I would want them to show up authentically .

33:03

Do you think by having that person show up yeah , you know the way that they are Do

33:05

you feel like something like that Show up authentically , Would

33:08

they ? Do you think by having that person show

33:10

up that nobody knows about , would that cause drama

33:12

at your wedding ?

33:14

It's , it's possible , of course

33:16

it's . It's going to be possible and

33:19

it's . I mean , that's a really tough

33:21

situation , understandably

33:23

so

33:32

, understandably so , and it could the bride is probably trying to avoid anything

33:34

being detracted away from her day , which is the possibility if

33:36

her now sister is now a brother and

33:39

shows up in a tuxedo and if nobody

33:41

knows about it and it depends on

33:43

how they handle that .

33:45

Well , there's a reason why he hasn't come out

33:47

to other people besides his sister and his

33:49

mom , and that seems like this

33:51

seems like not the appropriate

33:53

time to have that happen . But I mean , it is what

33:56

it is . It's like she's getting married and if it hasn't

33:58

happened before , that one thought

34:00

is why not talk to your fiance

34:02

and have him as a groomsman ? Yeah , because

34:04

then he'd be wearing the tuxedo He'd

34:06

be a part of the wedding and yes

34:08

, might there still be drama when people realize

34:11

that this individual has been transitioned to

34:13

a male ? Maybe , but it's kind

34:15

of their problem is the way I look at it Again

34:17

there's so many circumstances surrounding

34:20

what the outcome of that could be .

34:22

Where's the wedding ? Is it in a church ? Is

34:24

it in a backyard ? Is it

34:26

all of those things the family

34:28

, the extensions of the families , the

34:30

crowd , the other people

34:33

and what that is

34:35

all associated with ? If it's deep-rooted

34:37

religion and this is what my

34:39

family is , and these are the guests that are going to be

34:41

there that's going to be a lot to handle

34:44

. That will be a lot different and a lot

34:46

more to handle , but at the same time , it

34:48

would be setting an example if this family

34:51

were to have their

34:53

sibling and child there

34:55

, authentically transitioned

34:58

, wearing a tuxedo , as they are wanting

35:00

to , and showing their support for

35:02

their son and not making

35:04

it an issue .

35:05

Do you know what I'm saying . Do you feel like , okay

35:08

, I don't have an answer to this , really

35:10

, but do you feel like it's selfish of that individual

35:12

to expect to show up in the transitioned

35:15

way when nobody else

35:17

knows about it ? No , okay .

35:19

I don't ?

35:20

I mean and I'm saying selfish to the sister

35:23

, the one that's the bride- Right Selfish

35:25

, just to do it in that setting

35:27

.

35:27

Right , like not do it otherwise

35:30

, yeah , I mean , that's

35:32

a tough one , that is

35:34

you know , the setting it's you know

35:36

because it is a wedding you know , but at the

35:38

same time , it's not like he or

35:41

she is coming out at that time and

35:43

announcing Well , they kind

35:45

of are just , they're kind of coming out without

35:47

announcing . Yeah , they're just

35:50

, and so to be able to do that

35:52

, you know , is , for whatever

35:54

reason , important , and

35:56

maybe even somewhat

35:58

. That can never be easy , but

36:00

maybe it is helpful , like I said

36:03

, to have your family all there surrounding

36:05

you , supporting in that

36:07

way , just being able to allow

36:10

that person to show up how

36:12

they now are .

36:13

I think a lot of the drama might relate to the

36:15

other members of the family .

36:17

Yeah , for sure .

36:18

What if the dad is just not cool with any

36:20

of it ? Like has disowned this

36:22

person .

36:23

I mean , there's just so much drama that

36:25

could potentially be having .

36:26

That would actually , if it were me , might

36:28

even prompt me to do something completely different

36:31

, because I wouldn't want to be involved

36:33

in all this drama or my dad's , I'm not going

36:36

to show up . if your

36:38

sister or brother shows up

36:40

, you know that kind of a thing , so I'm

36:42

with you . I believe that it's the

36:44

bride and groom need to be the ones , obviously

36:46

, that are making those decisions . But

36:48

under those circumstances , in the scenario

36:50

that we have here , I would do exactly what

36:53

you're saying . Yes , it might create

36:55

some little ruffles or a little

36:57

bit of controversy and , honestly

36:59

, probably some whispering , like you're talking about

37:01

, because people can be really ignorant

37:04

or they're not exposed to things on

37:06

a regular basis , and so they don't know how to handle

37:08

them . But I would honor my brother

37:10

as well .

37:12

Yeah , that's definitely a

37:14

very difficult situation

37:17

, and I'm sure that the

37:20

brother himself probably

37:23

had some decisions to make as well

37:25

. Like , if they didn't , if

37:27

they weren't going for him coming in

37:29

the tuxedo and being authentic , then

37:31

maybe he would make the decision to not

37:33

go to his sister's wedding . Yeah , as

37:35

opposed to showing up in a dress and being

37:37

the sister that he's really not .

37:39

To me that would be humiliating

37:42

, probably for him .

37:43

Oh , yeah , absolutely .

37:44

I mean the fact that you didn't even put your that's what I'm saying . Oh yeah , absolutely .

37:46

I mean the fact that you would even put your . I would never

37:48

ask , I could never like , if I , whatever

37:50

. If my sister had transitioned

37:53

and was a male and I was getting married

37:55

, I would never ask him

37:57

to wear a dress and pretend to still

37:59

be my sister for

38:01

the sake of everybody else , I would never

38:04

ask that . No , I couldn't . So

38:06

anyways .

38:07

Okay , well , I think we're on the same page with that one . Yeah

38:09

, there's this other one that I had

38:12

pulled up . That is someone who just needed

38:14

to vent . Do you want to read this one ?

38:16

So I asked my friends last May to be my

38:18

bridesmaids and I asked

38:20

my maid of honor to be my maid of honor two

38:22

years ago when my fiance asked me to

38:24

get married . Well , now my wedding is

38:26

200 days away . I think it's funny that she

38:28

knows . Now my wedding is 200 days away . I think it's funny that

38:30

she knows . I mean that's a long time 200 days

38:33

.

38:33

But two years ago she got engaged

38:35

and asked her maid of honor . And

38:38

then within half

38:40

a year or whatever , she's asking her friends

38:42

.

38:44

Some of the girls aren't responding to her text messages

38:46

. I asked them all to have their dresses

38:48

by March 13th and while some girls

38:50

do have them , some don't , including

38:53

my maid of honor . I text the

38:55

girls who didn't have their dresses yet

38:57

and to see if they've gotten them and

38:59

I haven't heard from anyone in five

39:01

days . I've had to resort to planning

39:03

my bachelorette trip myself because my

39:05

maid of honor is MIA

39:07

. My mom is also pressuring me to kick

39:10

the girls out , but I don't want to

39:12

do that . I love all of them so much , but

39:14

I'm afraid they're wanting out and not telling

39:16

me . It's putting a lot of pressure on me

39:18

and causing me to feel the most insignificant

39:21

part of my wedding . This isn't

39:23

what I expected and I feel so hurt .

39:25

I think she got a little overzealous on the

39:28

invites way in advance

39:30

.

39:30

first of all , Way in advance , a lot can change

39:33

in that length of time , over the course

39:35

of two years , you could have a falling

39:37

out with your best friend . Who knows why

39:39

.

39:40

My hunch is that everything surrounding

39:43

this person is wedding-related

39:46

topics , like if they go out

39:48

to dinner . They're talking about the wedding . You know what I mean . Let's go out tonight .

39:50

They're talking about the wedding . They go out . You know what I mean .

39:51

Let's go out tonight we talk about the wedding . It's all about the wedding

39:53

, and so people are probably getting kind of tired of that

39:56

, and I don't think there's anything there that

39:58

really talks about the cost

40:00

associated with the things that she's asking

40:02

them to do , but if she's planning

40:05

her own bachelorette party , I mean that's

40:07

kind of sad .

40:08

She might be the only one .

40:09

That's what I'm saying . It's like nobody's answering

40:11

. So what are you going to do ? Are you going to have the party of

40:14

one ?

40:15

Do you have a bachelorette party ?

40:16

Yeah , I didn't , it

40:19

was pretty low-key .

40:20

I mean , I went out with some of my girlfriends

40:22

, but it was really nothing .

40:24

Yeah , we went , I don't know dancing or something , I don't remember

40:26

what it was . People really do it up now . I know , I

40:28

know we talked about that already they take trips

40:30

to different places . Bachelor

40:32

parties same thing .

40:33

This gal yeah , I think she like you

40:35

know if I'm already asking maids of honor

40:37

two years prior , that's

40:39

a long time . A lot can happen .

40:42

So if I were this gal , what

40:44

I would probably do is , first

40:46

of all , I wouldn't be texting people because

40:48

they're not responding to your text messages , maybe

40:50

this is something that warrants you picking up the phone

40:52

and actually having a conversation with

40:55

somebody .

40:55

These are the things that seem weird to me in some of

40:57

these stories , Like

41:00

the brother one he seemed an important

41:02

part , but then it was like that didn't work

41:04

out . These are like she loves

41:06

them and they mean a lot to her , because I can see her

41:08

mom's point Like just tell them they don't

41:10

have to be in it .

41:11

Well , they're blowing her off . That's what I mean , just like . But

41:13

see , this is what it goes back to . It's like nobody's talking

41:15

to each other , and how are they ?

41:18

Well , this is a whole other topic , because this is how the

41:20

world is now . We

41:22

don't have to talk to each other , we

41:25

don't have have to be face to face .

41:27

Well , and they might not feel like the people

41:29

that are involved really might not feel like they're

41:31

being valued . It's more like it's a job

41:33

. Yeah , is the impression that I'm getting . So

41:36

, as that bride , I would pull that

41:38

group together , maybe take them all for a nice

41:40

dinner , just you know kind of regroup

41:43

, get everybody more excited , maybe

41:45

clarify what the roles are

41:47

, who's doing what , what's being provided

41:49

, you know all of those kinds of things and then just

41:51

let it go . It's like you don't have to have

41:54

a conversation about your wedding every single

41:56

time you talk to your friends , they'll

41:58

bring it up if they want to ask yeah , but

42:00

it's how . I will venture a guess that a lot

42:02

of the conversation over the last couple

42:05

of years has been directly related to this

42:07

, yeah , and people are just tired of

42:09

it . Over it . They're of it Over it .

42:13

They're over it yeah .

42:18

It's kind of too bad because she's probably going to be kind of disappointed with how the

42:20

wedding comes out unless she regroups and thinks about how to approach it differently , or

42:22

she's going to have a different type of wedding Get some new friends

42:24

. Get some new friends yeah . So

42:26

these are just a few of the things that we ran

42:29

across and we wanted to add to

42:31

this episode or add

42:33

on from the last episode with some

42:35

of these stories , because we just thought it

42:37

would be kind of fun to do that .

42:39

Yeah , prepare yourselves , all those

42:41

of you getting married . There's a lot of different things

42:43

that can come up , so , and it's

42:45

very fun to plan .

42:46

I think it's fun to plan Michelle's like . I

42:49

can't even imagine planning something like that . I mean

42:51

, like I would totally be planning that . That would be so fun

42:53

.

42:53

I thought at one point when

42:56

I was helping my friend Stephanie plan her

42:58

wedding yes , yeah , so I

43:00

was . I was helping to plan a wedding and

43:02

it was . There was a lot of things and it was really fun

43:04

. But when I was doing that I thought , oh , it might

43:07

be kind of fun to start a business

43:09

called Take Two , Like

43:12

for people getting married the second time around

43:14

, because there's not . Well , you just gave your idea up

43:16

on . I know Well , there's not as much that goes

43:18

into it , we'll add that to the speakeasy . I

43:21

know all the other things , right yeah .

43:24

Anyways , okay . So if you're getting

43:26

married and you don't want to have drama

43:28

, just elope .

43:30

Yeah , yeah , there you go . That's

43:32

what we got out of this , yeah .

43:38

And if it's more , if it's a second wedding , just chill for a hot minute

43:40

, and if it's third or fourth wedding , elope , just

43:42

keep it low key . And if it's beyond that

43:44

, don't tell anybody .

43:46

There you go . Well , I think that's pretty good

43:48

advice .

43:49

That's pretty good . Yeah , or live in

43:51

sin that's the other one . There's that too

43:53

, yeah .

43:54

It's kind of appealing , doesn't it ? Yeah , a little

43:56

bit of everything , avoid all this stuff , so

43:59

where can people find us ? Michelle , they

44:01

can find us all over the place . I'm

44:04

talking TikTok it's . You

44:06

know they haven't sold it yet or gotten rid of it yet

44:08

, so you know , we can find us on TikTok

44:10

, you can find us on Instagram , you can find us

44:12

on Facebook and you

44:14

can listen to us on Spotify , apple

44:17

, all your favorite .

44:18

You're missing , like the most important one

44:21

that just started just

44:27

launched Places .

44:28

I was getting to it , I was saving the best for last . They can listen to us on all the

44:30

places , but if you want to watch us , head

44:32

on over to YouTube to a Blonde Brunette

44:34

and a Mike podcast , because you can

44:36

watch our episodes there .

44:38

Yeah , and it's kind of hilarious , and

44:41

there's all . I think we have four

44:43

, maybe five episodes that are on there

44:45

. Nobody's looked at them yet . Yeah

44:47

, because we haven't even told anybody they're out there , we

44:49

haven't .

44:50

We've just kind of been silently secret

44:52

, squirreling them up there and just kind of

44:55

figuring it all out .

44:56

Like it took us a half an hour to figure out our microphones

44:59

and headphones today . We

45:01

never said we were really good at all this like techie

45:04

stuff , right , but we keep doing it

45:06

.

45:06

That's right , right , yeah , I like it , that's

45:08

right .

45:09

Right , yeah , I like it Well . I appreciate you , michelle

45:11

.

45:12

And if I ever get married again .

45:14

I'll invite you .

45:15

Oh you , better girl I'm , because she's

45:17

going to show up anyway , yeah .

45:19

Don't worry , I'm not getting married again and

45:21

on that note everybody . Have

45:23

a good one . People , we'll talk with

45:25

you soon . Peace out , peace out

45:28

, bye .