There is nothing I talk about more than the importance of our relationships with our kids.  Nothing.  

If we don’t have a healthy, loving and trust-based relationship with our children we have no power.  Period.  The End.

For way too long moms, including myself, have been fed this garbage that says that if you don’t nip bad behavior in the bud, that your child is going to fail.  Your child will rebel and ultimately, it will be your fault.

When your child disobeys, it’s your fault, Mom.

If your child ends up doing drugs, it’s your fault, Mom.

When your child struggles with grades, organization, impulse control and all.the.things… it’s your fault, Mom.

Whether we received this message intentionally from the world, our churches, our parents, neighbors, friends, or ourselves, buying into this is a life-sucking lie.

In today’s episode, I discuss the number one most powerful weapon we mothers (and fathers, teachers, police officers, pastors, youth leaders, children’s ministry leaders, speech therapists, occupational therapists, anyone who works with kids…) has:

The ability to INFLUENCE our children through RELATIONSHIP.

There is nothing more powerful especially when raising a child with ADHD, Autism, a child of trauma, a child with a fight-or-flight response that is in overdrive.

These kids (and all people) need to feel safe in order to receive and process the information that we want to impart to them.

As I discuss and teach extensively in my new online parenting course, Barely Surviving to Outright Thriving, relationship must come first. 

And often, this means, that we moms are going to have to be willing to shift our perspective when our kids display “poor” behaviors.  We are going to have to use our adult executivefunctioning skills in order to stop, breathe and look behind the behaviors.  

By looking behind the behaviors to seek the root issues, we then can equip our children, through relationship, with the tools and strategies they need to better handle disappointments, frustrations, transitions, big emotions, and such… in the future.

Kids can’t hear us when they feel threatened… because these kids with ADHD, autism, trauma (even a little “t” trauma), executive functioning issues, anxiety, learning differences, etc… these kids are living in fight-or-flight… by no choice of their own.

They need to feel SAFE inherently.  Not by your adult brain reasoning standards, but by an immature, scared, and not fully developed child’s standards.

What would that have looked like for you as a child?

Listen to today’s episode to learn more about how to handle the worst behaviors in a way that works.  Through relationship.   

For more information, post transcript and time stamps visit:  https://aheartforallstudents.com/aheart-29/