0:00

If all you want for Mother's Day is a nap

0:02

and maybe for your kids

0:04

to leave you alone , this episode

0:06

is for you . You're

0:10

listening to a Thriving Catholic Podcast

0:12

. I'm your host , jessica Castillo

0:15

, and today's episode is for

0:17

all the busy moms out there who

0:19

want to have more energy and

0:21

joy without having to give

0:23

their kids away to get it . Have

0:26

more energy and joy without having to give their kids away to

0:28

get it . While

0:32

you might catch a nap or a little break for Mother's Day , you probably know that that

0:34

is just a band-aid solution , especially when you're dealing

0:36

with serious burnout from the hard

0:38

work of momming . Here's

0:41

the deal . The only

0:43

way for you to really consistently

0:45

feel more energy and peace

0:47

in your days is for you

0:50

to take good care of yourself . The

0:53

problem is that we've been conditioned

0:55

to believe that self-care means

0:57

bubble baths and pedicures

0:59

, which are nice , but

1:02

they tend to equate self-care

1:04

with self-indulgence

1:06

, and that's why a lot of moms

1:09

immediately think of self-care as

1:11

selfish . But

1:13

self-care literally just

1:15

means to take care of yourself . So

1:19

in this episode , I'll be sharing

1:21

a simple and completely

1:23

doable framework for taking excellent

1:26

care of yourself , even when

1:28

time is limited . You'll

1:30

learn the six key areas that you

1:32

need to focus on to get a healthier body

1:35

and a happier , more focused

1:37

mind , and how

1:39

to effectively banish burnout

1:41

and resentment and approach your days

1:43

with more enthusiasm , energy

1:46

and peace . Before

1:48

we dive in , I want to let you know

1:50

that I've created a free mini course to

1:53

help you implement everything

1:55

that we're talking about in this episode . It's

1:58

called Guilt-Free Self-Care for Busy

2:00

Moms and you can find it right on

2:02

the homepage of my website , a thriving catholiccom

2:04

, and because

2:06

I know how busy you are , I've

2:09

designed this course to take as little

2:11

time as possible to complete

2:13

. In fact , you

2:15

can consume the entire course in less

2:18

than an hour in less time

2:20

than it takes to watch your favorite Netflix

2:22

show . You can be on your way to greater

2:24

peace , joy

2:31

and health . So to get all of the resources , worksheets and videos and to really

2:33

implement the changes that we're talking about in this podcast for

2:36

free , just go to athrivingcatholiccom or

2:38

check the link in the show notes . Okay

2:42

, let's get into the framework for

2:44

how you can take excellent care

2:46

of both your body and your

2:48

mind . To do this

2:50

, I want to present what I call

2:52

the SPEEDI method of self-care

2:55

. Essentially , speedi

2:57

is just an acronym to help you remember

3:00

the six key areas that you need to

3:02

focus on , in the order

3:04

that they should be addressed roughly so

3:06

that you can be sure you're taking really

3:09

good care of yourself . So

3:11

the six key areas of speedy

3:13

are sleep , personal

3:16

hygiene , eating , exercise

3:19

, discover and you

3:21

. Let's

3:23

briefly go through each of these areas now

3:26

and how you can fit them into

3:28

your life . Okay , the

3:30

first letter in speedy is S

3:32

for sleep . All

3:35

great self-care starts with

3:37

sleep . There is literally

3:39

nothing that is going to have a bigger impact on

3:41

your health , your mood and your

3:44

productivity than getting good quality

3:46

sleep each night . Unfortunately

3:49

, this is something that a lot of moms struggle

3:51

with Now . I could go

3:54

on and on and on about all

3:56

of the amazing benefits and how great

3:58

sleep is , but I've already done a whole

4:00

episode on it , so you can check out

4:02

episode number 17 . Sleep

4:04

is your superpower . If you want to

4:06

dig deeper into sleep , or

4:09

again , you can check out the mini course

4:11

that goes along with this episode and it

4:13

goes into way more detail on sleep . But for

4:15

now I will say the number

4:17

one thing you can do to improve

4:19

your sleep , both the

4:22

quantity and the quality of your sleep

4:24

, is to focus on a consistent bedtime

4:26

and a consistent wake time as much

4:28

as possible . Now there are more nuanced

4:31

strategies that we can go into if

4:33

you have nursing babies or kids

4:35

that are waking up a lot at night . But a lot

4:37

of times we're our own worst enemy

4:39

when it comes to getting enough sleep because we're

4:41

just not leaving ourselves enough time

4:44

to get good sleep . So

4:46

if you don't do anything else , I

4:48

would say consistent bedtime

4:50

and wake time . And then the number two , most

4:52

important thing you can do is just be

4:54

really careful about your light

4:57

exposure . So if you can try

4:59

to get morning sunlight in your eyeballs

5:01

, maybe even evening sunlight as the sun

5:03

is setting , this really re-helps

5:05

your circadian rhythm and will help you get better

5:08

sleep . And then also just making

5:10

sure that you're controlling the level of light

5:12

in your house , especially limiting

5:14

blue light from screens and devices

5:16

as you're getting ready to go to bed . This

5:18

is going to help you so much with

5:20

this first S in speedy , the

5:23

most essential element of self-care , which

5:25

is sleep . Okay

5:27

, the P in speedy stands for

5:30

personal hygiene

5:32

, and this area includes things

5:34

like showers , brushing

5:36

and flossing your teeth , getting dressed , styling

5:39

your hair , wearing makeup , painting your

5:41

nails . This is basically any

5:43

grooming tasks that you need to do

5:45

on a daily or weekly basis

5:47

and I'm not saying

5:50

that you need to be like

5:52

supermodel hair and makeup and completely

5:54

dressed every day but there is a big difference

5:57

in how you feel

5:59

when you've taken the time to

6:01

put yourself a little bit together

6:03

. I remember there was a time when

6:06

I would do my workouts in the morning and

6:08

I would stay in my gym clothes most

6:10

of the day , because I don't sweat that

6:12

much when I work out and I was comfortable and I was working

6:14

from home . So I thought you know , I'm

6:17

not going to change . This is really comfortable . But

6:19

I noticed it made a huge impact

6:21

on how I felt

6:23

and how I approached my day

6:25

when I didn't feel like I was completely

6:27

dressed for the day . So and

6:30

different people have different standards for this , so

6:32

it's really important that you think about what

6:35

you need and want to do . That's going to

6:37

help you feel your best in this area and

6:39

you don't have to worry if this is the same

6:41

as anyone else's standards . So

6:43

think about what it takes for you

6:45

to feel put together each day . You

6:48

know , and maybe there's like an ideal where

6:50

you'd like to take a shower , style your hair

6:52

, put on makeup , but maybe that's not realistic

6:55

. Every day , maybe most days

6:57

, you can , you know , do

6:59

the bare minimum get dressed

7:01

, brush your hair , you know , whatever

7:04

it is that's going to help you feel more

7:06

put together . So , taking

7:08

the time to just think through what's really

7:11

important to you , that's going to help you feel

7:13

your best and that's going to make a big difference

7:15

. And I just want to be really clear

7:17

that this isn't about vanity

7:19

, it's not about trying to impress others

7:22

. This is just about you

7:24

feeling good about your

7:26

appearance and your grooming , and

7:28

this is going to have such a huge impact

7:30

on your mood and your productivity

7:33

. So it

7:35

is really important . This is going

7:37

to help you to have more confidence

7:39

. It's going to help you , you know

7:41

, with your mood . It just helps so much

7:43

. So this is an important element

7:46

of self-care that moms

7:48

can tend to neglect . Okay

7:51

, the first E in speedy is

7:54

for eating , and

7:56

it's all about eating the foods that are

7:58

going to help you feel your best . There's

8:01

a lot of guilt and negative

8:03

emotion associated with the food that we

8:05

eat , so I just want to say

8:07

here that there are no

8:10

morally good or morally bad

8:12

foods . Food is a good

8:14

gift from God , and most of us

8:16

are really blessed to have it in abundance

8:18

. That being said

8:20

, there are foods that are going to make

8:23

you feel better and function better , and

8:25

foods that are going to make you feel better and function better , and foods that just aren't . So

8:28

I want you to think about healthy eating

8:30

for self-care , as

8:32

a way of taking really good care of your body

8:34

and as a way to help

8:36

your brain work better and for

8:38

you to feel happier . So

8:41

I don't want you to think about it as if you're being

8:43

good if you eat well and you're

8:45

being bad if you choose less healthy foods

8:47

. Morally neutral . It's just going

8:49

to have a different kind of impact

8:51

on your mood and your energy

8:53

levels and

8:55

you know , one thing I really want

8:58

to mention here is a lot of people don't realize

9:00

how the food they eat

9:02

has such an impact on mental

9:04

health in particular . So

9:07

there was a study conducted by the Food

9:09

and Mood Center at Deakin

9:12

University in 2017 that

9:14

found when study participants

9:17

cut sugar , fried food

9:19

and processed meats and added

9:21

in healthy foods to their diets , they

9:23

had a significant reduction

9:25

in depressive symptoms . So

9:28

I know a lot of times for moms when we're feeling

9:31

really stressed out and we're busy

9:33

, we tend to just grab whatever's easy

9:35

and convenient and maybe just comfort

9:38

junk food because our jobs are hard

9:40

as moms . But I just

9:42

want you to remember that even though in

9:44

the moment it might be really hard to make

9:46

a healthier choice , it's

9:49

really kind of helpful to think about how

9:51

what you're eating has a direct correlation

9:54

to how happy you feel

9:56

eating better every day . Some of the

9:58

primary things that I recommend to everybody , especially

10:00

if

10:07

you're having difficulty with mental

10:09

health and mood , is to

10:12

really focus on cutting or eliminating

10:14

sugar and alcohol as much

10:16

as possible . Now there are

10:18

so many more things you could

10:20

do here . I've included a lot more details

10:23

on this in the free mini course

10:25

, so be sure to check that out , and I've

10:27

also included in that lesson a PDF

10:29

download called the easiest

10:32

diet ever , so that has

10:34

some really good suggestions about what

10:36

you can eat , some simple meal plan

10:39

things and food

10:41

guidelines , nutrition it's

10:44

it's a helpful guide , so if you want

10:46

, you can get that for free . Just check the link

10:48

in the show notes . Okay , the

10:50

next E in speedy is

10:53

for exercise , and

10:56

by exercise I just mean getting

10:58

your body moving , and

11:00

this is important because exercise

11:03

is one of those keystone habits

11:05

which means that it has ripple

11:07

effects on all the other aspects of your

11:09

life . So , for instance

11:12

, when you're exercising , you're

11:14

likely to sleep better and you're also

11:16

likely to make better food choices

11:18

. But exercise

11:21

a lot of times people think that it has to be painful

11:23

, or it has to be at the gym or like really hard

11:25

, they have to be really sweaty . In that it has to be painful or it has to be at the gym or like really hard , they have to be really sweaty

11:28

in order for it to be effective , and that's

11:30

just not the case . So when you're

11:32

thinking about getting exercise as a form

11:34

of self-care , it's important

11:37

for you to focus on how good

11:39

exercise is for your mind

11:41

and your body and how it makes you feel

11:43

. We really don't want

11:45

to let the focus be on punishing yourself

11:48

or on trying to lose weight . That is just

11:50

really not effective . It's

11:52

not going to make exercise feel good for you

11:54

. I mean , obviously

11:56

it's true that you might lose weight when you

11:58

incorporate more movement , but it's

12:01

really important that you're not

12:04

letting that be the focus and

12:06

that's going to help you to continue

12:09

to be motivated to keep up the habits

12:11

of movement into

12:14

the future , regardless of what the number on the

12:16

scale is , and it's so

12:19

good for your brain really so

12:21

good for your brain . It is such a great

12:23

way to help you manage depression

12:25

and anxiety and to improve focus

12:28

. There's just

12:30

been so much great research on

12:32

all of the benefits for exercise

12:34

and what it does for your brain , so I like

12:36

to think about exercise as something I do

12:38

for my mood and my mental health first

12:41

and foremost honestly , and

12:44

it can really be fit into your day . It

12:46

doesn't have to be an hour or more , you

12:48

don't have to go to the gym , you don't even

12:50

have to change out of your normal clothes . So

12:52

I include some ideas for what

12:55

I affectionately refer to as non-sucky

12:57

exercise in the

13:00

guilt-free self-care mini course so you

13:02

can dig deeper in there . Okay

13:05

, the D in speedy

13:07

stands for discover

13:10

, and what I mean by this is

13:12

basically to never stop

13:15

learning . I think one of the

13:17

ways that moms in particular

13:19

start to feel really burned out is

13:21

because the day-to-day

13:24

grind of you know caring

13:26

for kids , especially if you're a stay-at-home

13:28

mom , or even you know a homeschooling

13:30

mom , or even a work-from-home mom , if

13:32

you are with your kids a

13:35

lot and you're kind

13:37

of doing the same daily

13:39

routine . It can start to feel

13:42

like a grind , it can start to feel

13:44

really boring and I feel

13:46

like our brains

13:49

. We really need stimulation , we

13:52

need novelty , we need to keep learning

13:54

and we thrive on

13:56

novelty and learning and there's so

13:58

much to learn . So

14:01

I really include discover

14:03

in self-care as a way , and this can

14:06

be discovering anything . This can be discovering

14:08

things about yourself . So

14:10

, whether that's your spiritual charisms

14:13

or your natural strengths

14:15

and talents , or if

14:17

it's discovering anything about your personality

14:19

or your temperament , all of those things are super

14:22

interesting , but it can be learning anything

14:24

. It can be learning any

14:27

new skill , any new information

14:29

. It can be reading interesting books that

14:31

are stretching your mind . It can be listening

14:33

to informative podcasts that are

14:35

helping you grow . There's

14:38

just so much here , but if you're feeling

14:40

really stagnant and kind of

14:42

bored in your life , it

14:44

could really be that you

14:46

need to incorporate more

14:48

of this learning and discovery into

14:51

your life . Okay

14:55

, the final letter in speedy

14:57

is Y and that stands

14:59

for you . And

15:01

okay , I don't

15:04

mean you as in now . You

15:06

have to be selfish . But

15:08

what I mean by the you

15:10

in Speedy is that the things you

15:12

do in this area of your self-care

15:15

are the things that you

15:17

just love to do in

15:19

and of themselves , and

15:21

these are also the things that tend to get

15:23

really crowded out of our lives when

15:26

we get busy . But it is

15:28

so important for us to incorporate

15:30

more of these things that you

15:32

love doing into your life . This

15:35

is the number one thing

15:37

that is going to help you not feel

15:39

like you're losing yourself in

15:41

your vocation , and it's going to really

15:44

help you with those feelings of burnout

15:46

and the things

15:48

that you do just for you . They

15:50

don't have to be , you

15:52

know , a charism . They don't have to be

15:54

something you're particularly talented in . They

15:57

don't have to be something that's an efficient or

15:59

good use of your time . These

16:01

aren't things that you have to do for anyone

16:03

else , and you

16:06

know these are things that

16:08

are just because you love them

16:10

. It's for you , and

16:13

these things can include things like you

16:15

know , your hobbies , your personal interests

16:17

. If you do any recreational reading or

16:19

crafting , really think about

16:22

this category as anything

16:24

that brings you joy

16:26

, and I'd like to

16:28

make a distinction here between

16:30

these kinds of activities

16:32

that are really life-giving and that bring

16:34

us joy , with

16:37

how most of us choose to use our downtime

16:39

or rather , we don't choose

16:41

and so then we default , you

16:43

know . So what ends up happening is we might

16:45

think well , I really

16:47

love to read , but I'm too tired to read , so

16:50

I'm just going to watch an episode of Netflix

16:52

instead . And you know

16:54

, sometimes you can stop at one

16:56

episode , but sometimes you get sucked in and

16:58

there you go , you just lost an hour of your

17:00

life to something you don't really care about

17:02

and it didn't really bring you any restoration

17:04

. Or you know

17:06

, maybe you really love crafting

17:09

, or you love watercolor painting or

17:11

whatever , but you think to yourself

17:13

oh , it's going to take too much time to

17:15

get everything out and set everything up

17:18

and clean everything up , so instead

17:20

you just default to scrolling your phone

17:22

. My recommendation

17:25

here is to try to remove as

17:27

much friction as possible

17:29

between you and doing what you love

17:31

. So this can mean

17:33

staging your stuff

17:35

in an easy to access location . So

17:37

it's almost as easy for you to

17:39

do a truly life-giving activity

17:41

as it is for you to turn to something more passive

17:44

like grabbing your phone . Now

17:46

, I'm not saying you should

17:48

never watch TV or you should never look at

17:50

your phone . I definitely do both

17:52

of those things . But what I'm encouraging

17:55

is that you discern

17:57

what activities you really wish

18:00

you were doing more of and think

18:02

about how you could

18:04

make that happen , which might

18:06

just mean being way more intentional with your downtime

18:08

, because I think a lot of times as moms

18:11

, we get stuck in this trap of thinking I

18:13

can never do anything for myself , I

18:15

never have any downtime , I never

18:17

have any freedom . And if

18:19

you actually look at your week as a whole

18:22

, you might be surprised to find

18:24

where you have pockets of time

18:26

that you can fit in more of these things

18:28

that are going to be really and truly life-giving

18:31

. So there

18:33

you have it , my friend . This is

18:35

the speedy method for

18:37

self-care which is going

18:39

to help you take great care of

18:41

yourself and feel so much

18:44

better in the process . And actually , speedi

18:46

is kind of a play on words , because if you truly

18:48

implemented the things that

18:50

are in this acronym , it really

18:52

does not take you very long

18:54

before you start noticing huge

18:57

differences in your life , in how you

18:59

feel and how you think , in your mood

19:02

, all of these things . So

19:04

just a quick recap the acronym

19:06

is SPEEDI Sleep

19:09

, personal Hygiene , eating

19:12

, exercise , discover

19:14

and you so

19:17

if you're starting to feel really

19:20

burned out , you're depleted in your role as

19:22

a mom , do a quick

19:24

scan through Speedy and just see

19:27

what area of your life really needs

19:29

bolstering right now . Again

19:31

, you can access all of this and

19:33

more in bite-sized

19:35

videos with downloadable resources

19:37

and guided action sheets that are

19:39

meant to help you implement and take

19:42

action on everything that you've heard

19:44

in today's podcast . You

19:47

can get all of that at my website in the free

19:49

mini course Guilt-Free Self-Care

19:51

for Busy Moms which is at

19:53

athrivingcatholiccom . Okay

19:56

, that is it for me this week

19:58

. Until next time , take

20:01

good care of yourself . Literally

20:04

Bye for now .