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Kid Icarus

Kid Icarus

Released Thursday, 25th April 2019
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Kid Icarus

Kid Icarus

Kid Icarus

Kid Icarus

Thursday, 25th April 2019
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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0:03

Our world is full of the unexplainable,

0:07

and if history is an open book, all

0:09

of these amazing tales right

0:11

there on display, just waiting

0:13

for us to explore. Welcome

0:17

to the Cabinet of curiosities.

0:27

Mankind's fear of the other is

0:29

dangerous. It has led to colonization

0:32

and destruction, as well as the erasure

0:34

of entire cultures, all because differences

0:37

were perceived as threats. A people

0:39

that looks different or lives outside

0:41

with the dominant culture deems as acceptable

0:44

is suddenly put on the defense. For

0:47

example, Thanksgiving as taught as a

0:50

unity story between two different groups

0:52

coming together to celebrate the harvest. In

0:54

reality, the Wampanoag tribe didn't

0:57

trust the Puritans, who had come ready

0:59

to negotiate at a protection treaty with the

1:01

native people, in essence a

1:03

contract of mutually assured destruction.

1:07

After all, the Puritans hadn't left England

1:09

just for religious freedom. They had also

1:11

wanted to establish a theocracy,

1:14

and if the Wampanoag had gotten in the way,

1:16

they would have been removed through violence

1:18

by the Europeans. Hundreds

1:21

of years later, another local population

1:23

would also come under fire, just not

1:26

how they expected. In

1:29

eighteen fifty five, a rash

1:31

of robberies and kidnappings across

1:33

the Midwest were being reported by the

1:35

Choctaw tribe. What had started

1:37

out with the disappearance of livestock and crops

1:39

quickly turned darker as children

1:41

started going missing. The tribe

1:44

organized a search party, led by a

1:46

group of seven foot tall warriors

1:48

known as the Light Horsemen, who ventured

1:50

into the wilderness. They

1:53

rode for hours, armed with rifles and side

1:55

arms, in the dead of summer, the sun beating

1:57

across their backs before they decided

1:59

to stop near a river and rest. After

2:02

a quick meal to refuel and recharge,

2:05

they set back out for another long journey

2:07

through the woods. They were determined

2:09

to find the criminals, one way or another, and

2:12

they would not return home until justice

2:14

had been served. Almost

2:17

an entire day of NonStop riding passed

2:19

before something was spotted in the distance.

2:22

The leader of the party, a half Choctaw

2:24

half French general named Joshua la

2:26

Fleur, told the men to stop and wait.

2:29

He pulled out the telescope he kept at his side

2:31

for a closer look. The horses moved

2:33

around in place, agitated by something

2:36

no one else could see. La

2:38

Fleur spotted movement ahead. It

2:40

must be them, he thought. The Bandits

2:42

had been known to hang around this area, and

2:45

now the time had come for the general and his gang

2:47

to exact their vengeance. They charged

2:49

forward, their horses, pounding the grass

2:51

with their strong hoofs, while the men shouted

2:54

their arrival. And then

2:56

it hit them, not a weapon,

2:58

nor a bullet, but an odor,

3:01

powerful and nauseating, unlike

3:03

anything they had ever smelled in their lives.

3:06

The horses bucked and whinnied and protest

3:08

Some of the men fell to the ground, gasping

3:10

for air, some sort of reprieve from

3:13

the stench. After a few minutes

3:15

of frenzied coughing, the men looked ahead

3:17

to a clearing where they saw the cause of

3:19

the wretched smell. It

3:22

was a mound of dirt and mud, overflowing

3:24

with human remains. The decay

3:26

had drawn out swarms of flies that hovered

3:28

around like black clouds. Behind

3:31

the mountain of death at the edge of the woods

3:33

across the clearing were three figures,

3:36

the Bandits themselves. The floor

3:38

and his men gathered their horses and pressed

3:40

onward, holding their noses as best

3:42

they could. It was now or

3:45

never, they thought, but the figures refused

3:47

to move, refused to run away

3:49

from the fight, and the Choctaw warriors,

3:51

who rushed toward them with their weapons drawn

3:54

the floor got to them first, with a saber

3:56

and pistol held out in front of him.

3:59

He never saw it coming. His

4:02

horse fell to the ground dead, and the general

4:04

rolled several feet away. He got

4:06

a better look at the bandits, who now appeared

4:08

to be as big as him, if not bigger, and

4:11

covered in hair. He

4:13

fired on the one that had brought down his horse. The

4:16

bullets disappeared into his mat of fur,

4:18

but didn't stop it. It only angered

4:21

it. The creature reached out towards

4:23

the floor, grabbed him by his head, and

4:26

well, that was the end of the general. The

4:29

other men watched it happen and drew their

4:32

rifles. They also fired into

4:34

the three bandits who had mass sacred the

4:36

people of their tribe, managing to

4:38

bring down two of them. The third tried

4:40

to escape into the woods, limping away,

4:42

but the soldiers wouldn't have it. What these

4:45

men, these beasts, had done, was

4:47

unthinkable, and there was no way they were

4:49

going to be allowed to do it again. One

4:51

of the warriors tackled the remaining bandits

4:54

knife in hand, and finished

4:56

the job. When

4:58

the dust had settled, the survive members

5:00

of the search party examined the bodies of their

5:02

attackers closely. They had

5:04

stood upright like men. They'd

5:06

moved like men. But they've been

5:08

stronger, bigger, harrier

5:10

than any men they'd set their eyes upon

5:13

before. They were enormous, hulking

5:15

brutes who bore only a passing

5:17

resemblance to actual human beings.

5:21

Their bodies were brought back to the tribe

5:23

and burned, while the deceased Choctaw

5:25

were given proper burials. The survivors

5:28

waited for a reprisal from other members

5:31

of the beast's own tribe, but it

5:33

never came. Instead,

5:36

what had transpired has gone down in history

5:38

as the only battle on record of

5:41

the human Bigfoot War of

5:44

eighteen fifty five. Desperation

5:59

can be quite a motivator. In the original

6:02

Thousand and one Nights, a king finds

6:04

out his wife has been unfaithful and

6:06

has her killed. He then marries a

6:08

series of women and orders the same

6:10

fate the morning after their wedding nights, so

6:12

that they never get a chance to commit the same

6:14

infidelity. Once there are no more

6:16

women left in the kingdom. His adviser's

6:19

daughter, Shaherazade, volunteers to

6:21

become his next bride. The advisor

6:23

is hesitant, but allows her to sacrifice

6:26

herself. On their wedding

6:28

night, she begins to tell a story to the king,

6:30

but she doesn't finish it. He

6:33

refuses to kill Shahrazade until

6:35

she can complete the story, which she does

6:37

the following night. As soon as she's done,

6:39

however, she begins another tale,

6:42

and the cycle starts over. And

6:44

it's her desperation to stay alive

6:46

that gives birth to a collection of stories

6:48

that have influenced cultures and literature

6:51

all over the world. Her desperation

6:53

didn't just allow her to keep her head, it

6:56

gave her security. She became

6:58

too important to discard, much

7:00

like a young Italian scientist in

7:02

Scotland around. His

7:05

name was John Damien, and he arrived

7:08

promising great, big things to King James,

7:10

the fourth King. James

7:12

allowed Damien to set up a laboratory

7:15

inside Sterling Castle in order

7:17

to carry out his experiments under a watchful

7:19

eye. The king was in

7:21

search of something important, something

7:23

that had eluded rulers and explorers for

7:25

thousands of years. Every culture

7:28

had a different name for it, the elixir

7:30

of life, the elixir of immortality,

7:32

and occasionally the Philosopher's Stone,

7:35

and yes, for fans of a certain boy

7:38

wizard, it's that Philosopher's

7:40

stone. The king gave

7:42

Damien everything he needed, money,

7:44

time, resources, all in

7:46

the pursuit of a substance that would not only

7:48

bring eternal life, but turn any other

7:51

material into gold. And

7:53

Damien certainly took advantage of

7:55

his benefactor's generosity.

7:58

Records from the time denote the purchases

8:00

of all sorts of scientific equipment,

8:02

including cauldron's, glass, flasks,

8:05

and other materials. He spared

8:07

no expense and bought whatever he needed

8:09

whenever he needed it, including

8:11

copious amounts of whiskey. Like

8:15

many rulers throughout history, King James

8:17

sought to control and maintain his wealth

8:19

by any means necessary.

8:22

This often involved research into the supernatural

8:25

when realistic solutions proved too

8:27

time consuming or unsuccessful. Unfortunately,

8:30

after about seven years, it didn't

8:32

look like Damien was any closer to eternal

8:34

youth than when he started. Instead,

8:38

he turned his eyes towards the heavens. Specifically,

8:41

he wanted to get as close to them as possible,

8:44

dreams of wealth and immortality

8:46

were set aside as. The alchemist became

8:48

obsessed with making man fly. He

8:50

watched birds, how their wings caught

8:52

the wind and propelled themselves up higher

8:55

and higher, how they could glide on a current

8:57

of air for seconds before needing to flap

8:59

it end. Damien

9:02

studied the mechanics until he thought he'd figured

9:04

it out. He began designing wings

9:06

for himself based on his observations,

9:08

even going so far as to include feathers

9:11

in the final product. To that end,

9:13

he ordered eagle feathers, but could

9:15

only get hen feathers at the time. No

9:17

matter, feathers were feathers right, and

9:20

these would have to do. There

9:22

was only one problem. Damien

9:24

worked alone. He had no one to test

9:26

his theory or his new fangled contraption,

9:29

which left only one other possibility.

9:32

He'd have to test it himself. So

9:34

at the end of September in seven,

9:36

he strapped his feathered wings to his back

9:39

and climbed to the top of Sterling Castle,

9:42

and then he jumped Onlookers

9:46

applauded as Damien took to the skies.

9:49

He was a man of conviction who bravely tested

9:51

his scientific advancements on himself

9:53

when no one else would. If

9:56

only his conviction was enough to keep him

9:58

airborne. You see, Gluing

10:00

feathers together and flapping his arms

10:02

didn't have the intended effect. He

10:04

felt like a stone just after takeoff.

10:07

He managed to survive, though, thanks to

10:09

a well placed pile of dung waiting

10:11

below. A bruised and smelly

10:14

Damien blamed his failure on his choice

10:16

of feathers, claiming hen's feathers were

10:18

more attracted to the ground than eagles

10:20

feathers would have been. That didn't sound

10:22

very scientific, though, perhaps

10:25

he should have sought some advice from a good friend

10:27

of his back in Italy, who had also been

10:29

sketching plans for his own flying

10:31

machines. Together, they

10:34

might have had more success, or at

10:36

least brought more of their drawings to life.

10:39

That friend, by the way, was none

10:41

other than Leonardo da

10:43

Vinci. I

10:47

hope you've enjoyed today's guided tour of

10:49

the Cabinet of Curiosities. Subscribe

10:52

for free on Apple Podcasts, or learn

10:54

more about the show by visiting Curiosities

10:56

podcast dot com.

10:59

The show was created by me Aaron

11:01

Manky in partnership with how stuff

11:03

works. I make another award winning

11:05

show called Lore, which is a podcast,

11:08

book series, and television show and

11:10

you can learn all about it over at the world

11:12

of Lore dot com. And

11:14

until next time, stay curious.

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