This episode was originally produced for the Pretty Deadly Self-Defense podcast. It is about family trauma, secrets, and the narratives that work to protect abusers and can leave victims bearing the burden of keeping a family intact. It is about family sexual violence, but also how to live truthfully and authentically as a victim to restore a sense of power and take initiatives in healing. 

Kate shares a personal experience with family sexual violence and asks Susie about the reality that there is no recourse or forum to challenge an abuser, especially if the offense doesn’t rise to the level of criminal violation, for example child sexual abuse.  Kate and Susie talk about the difference between sexual harassment in the workplace where there are HR policies and other forums to call attention to abusers and to file complaints where family assaults and harassment leave victims to fend for themselves.

Susie and Kate talk about possible solutions including severing ourselves from family members.  How do we handle families that are abusive? What does it mean to carry the burden of a family secret and how do we stay true to ourselves?“