0:01

The following podcast is a dear media

0:03

production. Welcome

0:08

to the Absolutely Not podcast, where we

0:10

do the most and the least at

0:12

the same damn time. I'm

0:14

your host, Heather McMahon. Hello

0:22

ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another

0:24

episode of the Absolutely Not podcast. Y'all,

0:27

today is a very special episode. It's

0:29

an episode that I have been excited

0:31

about for a minute. I get to

0:33

interview Connor and Tanner from Love on

0:35

the Spectrum, one of Netflix's hit shows

0:37

about people on the spectrum dating. And

0:40

we don't really talk that much about love, but

0:42

I get to have a really great conversation with

0:44

them about, you know, life in general, just three

0:46

buds, chit-chatting. And then the coolest part is I

0:48

get to talk to their moms, who

0:50

I think are the real stars of the show. So

0:52

without further ado, I want to get into it. And

0:54

I have their merch on. I've got Connor's hat. I

0:57

write to a poem and I've got Tanner's shirt on.

0:59

Are my eyebrows okay? Are my eyebrows right? This

1:02

is a really fun episode. I am thrilled

1:04

and honored to have talked to the

1:06

boys and their moms. So without further ado, let's get

1:08

into it. Please welcome to the podcast, Connor and Tanner.

1:13

Ladies and gentlemen of the Absolutely Not podcast, this

1:15

is an honor. Okay. I've had

1:17

a lot of people on this podcast, but I'm pretty

1:19

starstruck right now. I've got two of my favorite guys

1:21

and we just met Connor and Tanner.

1:24

Now y'all are the stars of Love on

1:26

the Spectrum, which was a TV

1:28

show that I think stole everybody's heart. But

1:30

you're also just cool dudes and I'm so excited to get to

1:32

chit-chat with you today. So you're both 25.

1:35

Is that correct? Yes, that is correct. Yes,

1:37

ma'am. That is correct. Okay,

1:40

fantastic. Now, what has been

1:42

the wildest thing that

1:44

has happened since you've been on

1:46

television? Okay, so

1:49

I've gotten a lot more followers

1:51

following me. Yeah. I'm

1:53

going to send an actress message to me, Rosie

1:55

O'Donnell. Rosie O'Donnell? Yes, ma'am. Wait

1:57

a minute, Tanner. I'm an actress message. She's an

1:59

actress. Donna message you and would have the message said.

2:02

I don't member was very broadly about the

2:04

rodeos. Auto is rape. Robbie. Can I

2:06

tell you that's how most people feel when they

2:08

get a message from an actor's like i don't

2:10

remember what they said with that's great and I

2:13

tell you I grew up watching Rosier Donahue. seven

2:15

hits shelves on television said that's it was you

2:17

Donald's it slid in your Dm says a big

2:19

deal that authors is also have you got to

2:21

meet anybody cool or had you had a conversation

2:23

with anybody needed your Instagram that's kind of blown

2:26

you away. Whoa. I was

2:28

informed that I did get a shot

2:30

off from Bradley Cooper who says he

2:32

watches the show. I mean

2:35

Bradley Cooper was at the Oscars Connors

2:37

added that is cool. Have a job

2:39

is. It. He was a

2:41

lot of Great movie yeah. So

2:43

you guys I find very refreshing. I'll tell

2:46

you what you're honest the so you know

2:48

we we cut through the B S You

2:50

just let people know what you're like, what

2:52

you don't like that is called the absolute

2:54

our podcast because I am by the belonged

2:56

to talk about the favorite things and things

2:58

have really been so you want to just

3:00

jump in reserve. Okay are there any absolutely

3:03

not in your life right now the you

3:05

don't like for example I cannot stand American

3:07

cheese. I. Don't know why I don't like it. It's

3:10

not my thing you have any food apsley not

3:12

like things you stay away from. Github.

3:14

See I see boots. Geico really really

3:16

does hurt your tummy a rubber? Well,

3:18

it's spicy from about. Oh yes, oh there's

3:20

that the worse than what? It's so hot in India to

3:22

drink a glass of milk I heard. I agree. I don't

3:24

like that the and or Mike there with the upon or

3:26

anything food wise you're like absolutely not. While. I

3:29

really can't sue. There is an. Excess.

3:32

Of mood. For green beans, I've never been. And

3:35

have. A. Real fan of I'm not. I'm right there

3:37

with you. As as I was a kid, know? yeah?

3:39

I think green beans or bri? Where the. Bows

3:41

said just overrated of vegetables like air date

3:43

their neighborhoods. where do you played A good

3:45

else of the as he saw saw an

3:48

arm of the tons of butter every time

3:50

a that ago I don't enjoy this. mean

3:52

I don't enjoy it now. Connor you love

3:54

swords. You'll have history, You'll have the will

3:56

see him. Those. are some your

3:59

favorite did i miss anything on the list

4:01

of favorite things. What else is really or

4:03

do you enjoy studying or learning about day-to-day?

4:05

Books. Books. What's your favorite book of all

4:08

time? Well, if

4:11

I had to say of all time, I'd say it would be

4:14

the Harry Potter series. Oh, iconic.

4:17

Who doesn't love Harry Potter? Tanner, you

4:19

have any favorite books? Yes, Sam. What

4:21

do you like? Beauty and the Beast,

4:23

The Lion King, Tarzan, Aladdin, Peter Pan,

4:25

Dave and Goliath, and Noah's Ark. These

4:27

are all great books? Yes, Sam, they are all great books. And

4:29

do you also watch the movies too? Yeah. I got

4:32

to be honest with you, I prefer movies over

4:34

books. I said it. Okay. I'm sorry. I like

4:37

to watch things, you know? Yeah. So are

4:39

those some of your favorite movies too? Yes,

4:41

Sam. Okay. And what is your favorite movie?

4:43

Well, today, I

4:45

think my favorite movie of all time would be the movie

4:48

How to Train Your Dragon. Oh, I

4:50

classic. It's based off a book and

4:52

it combines three

4:55

things I enjoy. Vikings, the Middle

4:57

Ages, and dragons. What do you

4:59

think draws you to that time

5:01

period? Because you like old things,

5:03

Connor, somebody might call you an

5:05

old soul. Yeah, I know. But

5:08

to answer your question, what I

5:10

think fascinates me about that time

5:12

is how people were

5:14

able to get along just fine without

5:16

any modern day technology, how they were

5:19

able to use

5:21

chemistry to make stronger weapons.

5:24

And we're able to use

5:27

animals instead of machines. Yeah,

5:29

heavy things. That's a really

5:31

great point. Sometimes I think

5:33

that I'm like so reliant on my phone,

5:35

you know, like I need technology. And there

5:37

are days where I'm like, how did we

5:39

find out where we were going before Google

5:41

Maps? You know what I mean? Do

5:43

you ever? I'm just so sometimes we all think

5:46

it's like you just you just had to get

5:48

a regular cartographed map from a cartographer

5:51

map seller. Yeah. Or like, could

5:54

you imagine if you had to use a compass to

5:56

actually find your way? Forget it. I wouldn't know what

5:58

to do. So you love Disney. That's

6:00

your thing and add a ball do you

6:02

who's your favorite Disney villain? I mean,

6:04

okay question I'm mother Disney villain is

6:06

a scar Oh scar good one. I

6:09

cry every time I watch The Lion

6:11

King Yeah, okay. Can I ask

6:13

you a question? Hey, how

6:16

can scar be a cool villain cuz he's bad cuz

6:18

the truth is I thought no movies if that

6:20

cool villains are They are in superior movies and

6:22

just like all the little flip movies. Yeah, how

6:25

can scar be cool villain? I don't

6:27

know. He's a cool villain. I mean he just makes me

6:29

cry Right. All I know is he's a

6:31

he plays not human. He's a lion because he is a

6:33

lion I feel like he's

6:35

not a cool villain cuz he's bad. Yeah, I know he's

6:37

definitely bad. We know that for a fact I think the reason

6:39

I cry harder at Lion King is because it has to do

6:42

with animals I think you know with that scene

6:44

when scar I mean, that's a that's a really

6:46

good line, right? Can I tell you

6:48

I have a dream of going on a

6:50

safari That would be the coolest thing

6:52

for me if I got to meet real wild like animals

6:55

like giraffes Zebras if I got

6:57

to meet cats like that's my thing. I

6:59

love cats Yeah, I do have two principal

7:01

dogs, but I look at so you have

7:03

an iconic dog. You have a Pomeranian I

7:05

do and he's your buddy. She she yes. Yes.

7:07

Yes. She she is She's

7:12

she really loves me. I mean,

7:14

how could she not want and wants me to give her

7:17

the most attention Always,

7:19

you know, I mean once you have a good pet do

7:21

I know you're a pet guy you like animals I do like

7:23

animals you have to go to the zoo Now

7:26

on the show we saw you went on a date to

7:28

the zoo and I gotta be honest you Tanner I was

7:30

so impressed with all the knowledge you have on animals.

7:32

Huh? Who's your favorite animal a gorilla?

7:35

Oh and how come because it's so cool

7:37

that it grows are Animals

7:40

with that hand and how they look like humans

7:42

and how they look similar to us Does that

7:44

make sense other that makes so much sense?

7:46

I think they're the closest in species to

7:48

us. Me too, right? I mean, they're very smart.

7:50

They are very smart. I was just in Australia

7:52

and I got to hold a koala Oh, I

7:55

bet it was the coolest thing ever. I mean it

7:57

was like one of those moments again I love animals that I

7:59

got to hold this Koalas. But it was funny because

8:01

you know you think they look really cozy and

8:03

comfy, but they're actually like kind of not as

8:05

it and dies cuddly as I thought they were

8:07

going to be. with your favorite animal well I

8:10

have a with this of and will that hit

8:12

us with it. I think

8:14

I'd say the gray wolves. Oh

8:16

the gray wolf. Know where would you find

8:18

a gray wolf were part of the world? As Gray Wolf

8:20

live in, well, I'm usually in the.

8:23

Northern. Most regions of the world.

8:25

North. America, Scandinavia,

8:27

Russia, I to be

8:29

like is going back to your love of like the

8:32

viking. World. Sloth just as

8:34

wolves were often affiliated with, the

8:36

Vikings has were bears who's ravens,

8:38

boars, even reindeer, sonic and ask

8:40

you a question. It's really been

8:42

weighing on my mind since you

8:45

love the royal family so much

8:47

you. Know where Kate Middleton as. A

8:49

Viewer These rumors. Nobody. Knows

8:51

where she is, You. Know this.

8:54

Sushi wetsuit. They said the royal family said

8:56

she was taking a step back from her

8:58

royal duties of a few months. He said

9:01

she was having abdominal. Surgery. But.

9:03

Two months is up at everyone's a little

9:05

concerned. Suggest on your time off you to

9:08

do a little research and figure out what's

9:10

going on that can be really helpful Yes

9:12

and of course our could Our concerns and

9:14

pursued also be always Majesty the King Always.

9:16

Who's not doing great? You know when it was You

9:18

know any updates on that? Only. What

9:21

I've seen in a magazine in covers?

9:23

Yeah, yeah, I mean it's all concern

9:25

in obviously thoughts and prayers. To the entire

9:27

royal family I just did knows you know where

9:29

Kate was So sorry We'll talk offline let me

9:31

know the of yet the out. If you are

9:33

you interested in anything? if you were like British,

9:35

do like the real family. I do use

9:37

them. Okay, I mean it's the biggest royal

9:39

family fan but I i I watch from afar.

9:42

I love Princess Diana. Princess Diana

9:44

was a new who two Princes

9:46

Diana was married. To the current King

9:48

Charles and she. Was just the people's princess.

9:50

Everyone loved her. Omaha about a fairytale? I

9:53

know you loved fairy tales that you love.

9:55

The Disney World price you see the watch

9:57

old videos a Princess Diana. when she married change

9:59

our Oh my gosh, really cool. Is

10:01

it was she a real person? She was a real

10:03

person That's so cool She was a real person and

10:05

she was the people really rooted for her because they

10:08

call her the people's princess cuz she was just like

10:10

One of us. Well, is there a movie making

10:12

of it? Oh a true movie of her. Yes. There's

10:14

like 10 movies about her Don't worry. I'll give you a

10:16

list when you leave here. You'll There

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back to the podcast. So okay,

13:40

since you've done the show, right? Has it

13:42

been a real wild feeling? You go out

13:45

in public, people know who you are. Is

13:47

it a strange feeling? It

13:49

can be at times. Yes. And

13:53

one time you're just minding your own

13:55

business. Someone's

13:58

walking up to you a complete strange. says

14:00

they recognize you. Yeah you're

14:03

at the grocery store and then somebody's asking you questions

14:05

or you're sitting in a studio right here and you're

14:07

like I I just want to go to lunch what

14:09

am I doing here? So

14:11

are you still working at the hotel? Yes I'm

14:13

still working at the hotel. And when you're

14:15

working at the hotel what is your day-to-day job? Like

14:17

what do you enjoy doing at the hotel because you're

14:19

great with hospitality. Tanner I mean I see people walking

14:22

in that hotel and you have a smile on your

14:24

face and I know that that is such a warm

14:26

greeting for that. What do you like to do at

14:28

the hotel? I enjoy cleaning

14:31

the bathrooms. Okay. Not a lot of

14:33

people like enjoy cleaning the bathroom standards

14:35

so I know you're an absolute employee

14:37

of the month. I enjoy wiping down

14:39

the windows. Okay. I enjoy cleaning the

14:41

glasses, mopping the bathroom floors and vacuuming

14:43

the blue mat. In fact you mean

14:45

the carpet bit under the front door.

14:47

It's the carpet under the welcome desk

14:50

and vacuuming the stairs halfway to the Tom's bar and

14:52

wipe down the windows all the way up to the

14:54

Tom's bar. Wow. Can I tell you sometimes

14:56

when I get a little anxious or I get

14:59

stressed? Tell me. I love to wipe my bathroom

15:01

down. I love to clean. I love to vacuum.

15:03

Is that strange? I mean how

15:05

can that be strange? Strange means weird.

15:07

Strange means weird. You're right Tanner.

15:09

Thank you for justifying that. But you owe me

15:11

a bad strange. No I mean like. Strange and

15:13

weird are not always bad. You're right Tanner. It's

15:16

maybe out of the ordinary right? Okay. Most

15:18

people when they get maybe stressed or anxious

15:20

they might want like quiet time or

15:22

they may like want to look at stuff on

15:24

their phone. I get active. I love to vacuum.

15:26

Whenever I'm stressed out about work. I

15:28

go vacuum and I clean so I get it. If

15:30

you enjoy cleaning and you like something active I'm right

15:33

there with you. What's the coolest thing about working in

15:35

a hotel? Is it meeting all the new people? It's

15:37

meeting all the new people. It's meeting all the new

15:39

people. Because you never know who you're gonna get. People

15:41

travel from all over the world. Right. To come stay at

15:43

your at your hotel. Yeah. Do you want to make sure

15:45

it's in tip-top shape? I do. Yeah. I love that you

15:48

take a lot of pride in that. Because I've taken pride

15:50

in your work is the biggest thing. Are

15:52

you still working? Are you at the grocery store

15:54

still? Yes. I'm still working at Kroger. Oh

15:56

nice. And what is maybe one of the

15:58

biggest challenges of working in a grocery store? Is it because

16:00

people are in a rush? Yeah, people are often

16:02

in a rush. They've got huge

16:05

orders and it usually gets crazy

16:07

around noon. Oh, around noon? That's

16:09

the rush period. Yeah. No, is

16:12

that because people are coming in for lunch or they have a break

16:14

at work, so they're coming in to get all the things that they

16:16

need to make dinner for their families that night? What

16:18

do you think it is? I think, well,

16:20

I think

16:23

it's because they're trying

16:25

to get all their

16:27

groceries before anything hits

16:29

scarcity. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's

16:32

what you think it is. So at noon, at

16:34

noon, that's when things go flying off the shelf.

16:37

Now, if you're ever, do you ever work with

16:39

actually packing up the groceries? Oh,

16:41

yes, I do. I actually bag them.

16:43

Oh, great. Now, I know that there's a science

16:45

to that. You got to make sure that you're not

16:47

putting something soft like grapes in

16:49

with diet coke cans.

16:52

Obviously. So what is the science? How

16:54

do you do it? Don't mix food

16:56

with chemicals. Don't put heavy stuff on

16:59

top of soft stuff and try

17:01

to fit as few as three

17:05

or four items into one bag.

17:07

Oh, smart. Okay, that's good. Because

17:09

sometimes I bag my own groceries because at my

17:11

Kroger, they don't have helpful people like you to

17:13

help us. So I'm over there just throwing

17:16

caution to the wind. And I made the mistake one

17:18

day. I got a sandwich and I got smushed with

17:20

everything else. All right. So when you're

17:23

not working and you're not running your careers, what

17:25

is your favorite thing to do on your time

17:27

off? My favorite thing to do is hang up my

17:29

pool and listen to my music and go on what?

17:31

Yeah, I know you love Morgan Wallen. Yes, ma'am. I

17:34

do love Morgan Wallen. Which appear a Morgan Wallen song? Last

17:36

night. Last night we let the liquor talk.

17:38

Yeah, it's a good one. It's a good one. Have

17:40

you ever been to a Morgan Wallen concert? No, but

17:42

I'm going to in July.

17:44

You are? Yes, ma'am. You

17:47

know what? Morgan Wallen is good for you. You know what?

17:49

Which show are you going to? I mean, which show is it going

17:52

to be, mom? Charlotte and Charlotte. Charlotte.

17:54

I love you too. That would be so much fun. That

17:57

would be so much fun. history,

18:00

learning about Vikings, showing everybody your

18:02

sword collection. What is your favorite thing

18:04

to do on your time off? Well, I

18:06

enjoy playing video games,

18:08

games, watching TV, and listening to

18:11

music out of my backyard. Oh,

18:13

nice. I like it. So it's a common theme

18:15

here. We like to sit outside in nature and

18:17

feel the vibes of the music. Yeah. Who are

18:19

some of your favorite musical artists? Well,

18:21

let's see. Um, there's, um,

18:23

hang on. No, take your time. I'll tell you

18:26

who mine are. Have you ever heard of the

18:28

Spice Girls? Oh, yes. Yeah.

18:30

Spice Girls was my first. One

18:32

of them is married to David Beckham.

18:34

Yes. Yes. Victoria. You're right. So I

18:37

love the Spice Girls growing up. I'm on a

18:39

real big, uh, Livia Rodrigo kick right now. I

18:41

think the song vampire is really great. She one of

18:43

the Spice Girls. She was not. No, no, no, no,

18:45

no. No, she is much younger, but the Spice Girls

18:47

were like, those are my Beatles. Yeah. You know what I

18:49

mean? Oh, I actually enjoy the

18:52

Beatles. I enjoy kiss

18:54

and, and, oh, and Johnny

18:56

Cash. Of course you love Johnny Cash. Could you

18:58

like anything that, who doesn't love Johnny Cash? I

19:00

love Johnny Cash. I agree. All

19:03

right. So, you know, Tanner,

19:05

your catchphrase is spreading joy.

19:08

What do you think it means to spread joy? What does that mean

19:10

to you? It means it to make

19:12

people feel good. Yeah. It makes them feel good in their

19:14

hearts. Yeah. And what are

19:16

ways that you can spread joy? You think

19:18

smile. Yes. And be kind

19:20

and nicer and, and

19:22

that's your friends thinks about themselves. You

19:25

know what? That is so important. There's nothing more

19:27

frustrating than when you meet somebody new and you

19:29

get in a conversation with them and then they

19:31

don't ask you anything about themselves. Oh, like I'm

19:33

not trying to pepper y'all with questions, but I

19:35

really want to get to know you. And

19:37

so no, everybody has a

19:40

purpose. Even if they have autism, Down

19:42

syndrome, William syndrome, dyslexia or golden heart

19:44

syndrome. That is such a great point.

19:46

Everybody has a purpose. Yeah, everybody has a purpose. You know,

19:49

I like that spreading joy is one of your

19:51

mottos because I feel that way when I do comedy,

19:53

when I stand up on stage and I tell jokes,

19:55

that's what I feel that I'm just spreading joy, right?

19:57

Making people laugh and giggle. That's my job. Yeah. So

19:59

you think that your purpose why you put on this

20:02

earth was to spread joy because

20:04

I make people happy Yeah, I'm

20:06

making people feel feel happy in their

20:08

hearts. I'm making people it makes you

20:11

feel good It's great and everybody has

20:13

a purpose. Yeah, even if they have

20:15

awesome down syndrome William William syndrome dyslexia

20:17

or Gold

20:19

golden heart syndrome. Yeah, they have

20:21

any syndrome. You got one leg two legs. No legs.

20:23

You gotta still spread joy If

20:25

you lost a leg or lost one arm if

20:28

you lost an arm you still can spread

20:30

joy, that's right That's right. Love that. You know,

20:32

I am a good reader, but I have

20:34

dyslexia with numbers. So I switch numbers all

20:37

the time I yeah, hey and what we're talking

20:39

other guys, can we ask you some questions? You

20:41

can ask me whatever you want Do you have

20:43

dyslexia? So I have dyslexia like I said

20:46

with numbers So it's really hard for me like

20:48

to remember a phone number or if I'm writing

20:50

a number down So if the number is 56,

20:52

I will always write 65. It's a very specific

20:54

thing So numbers are hard for me map was

20:56

really hard for me growing up But I'm good

20:58

at like I guess orders it like I'm good

21:00

at it. I don't know speaking in public That's

21:02

one of my strong suits. What do you feel

21:04

like is one of your strong suits? Obviously other

21:06

than bringing joy So me

21:08

new people making friends make it because I

21:10

didn't meet new people making new friends. That's

21:13

great What do you think when you're strongest?

21:15

personality traits is well,

21:17

I think one of my strongest personality traits

21:20

is is

21:23

well The fact

21:25

that I know a lot and I

21:27

am I often

21:31

Tell people things about what I know Listen

21:34

having intelligence and being able to explain

21:37

it to people especially in a way

21:39

that then also makes them feel smart,

21:41

too Is such a cool characteristic.

21:43

I mean, that's great. I mean, I feel like

21:46

I'm sitting with human Google right now What

21:48

is what is your favorite topic to talk about when

21:50

you meet with new people? Well,

21:52

I think my favorite topic to talk about

21:55

is movies. Yeah. Oh, I was just at

21:57

the Oscars I was at the Oscars.

21:59

Did you see any? movie. Do you see the

22:01

awards? Have you seen Barbie? The

22:03

movie? No. Oh, you've got to watch Barbie. It's

22:06

such a good movie. I saw,

22:08

I actually saw Oppenheimer. What did you think

22:10

of Oppenheimer? It was excellent. It

22:12

was excellent, but I felt like some of the

22:15

scientific things about how they created the atomic bomb

22:17

was a little confusing to me. Did you understand it all?

22:21

Yes, a lot of historical

22:23

figures there. Heisenberg, Einstein, Adam

22:25

Korsch, J. Robert, Oppenheimer himself.

22:27

I mean, you know right there.

22:29

We got a historian right here. Connor, I

22:32

have a question. Not big on nature, all

22:34

right? I'm not either. What is it

22:36

about nature that you don't love? It's

22:38

not that I don't love it. I actually enjoy

22:40

it very much. The peace, the

22:43

tranquility, the sounds

22:45

of the birds and the crickets, and

22:48

watching deer going by. I love it.

22:50

I live on the river, and I love sitting

22:52

outside on my porch sometime and having a coffee

22:54

in the morning and watching the deer and just

22:57

having this quiet moment. You know what I mean?

22:59

Do you like being out by the pool? I do like being out by

23:01

the pool. Do you ever like to go to the beach? I love the

23:04

beach. When I'm by water, that's where

23:06

I come alive. Do you like to swim? Yeah. Yeah.

23:09

Do you go to the pool in the summer? Yeah. You

23:11

also live in Georgia, and you're in South Carolina.

23:13

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freaking delicious. Go get you some now. Is there

26:20

anything you ever wanted to ask me? Yes. You can ask me

26:22

anything. What do I do for fun? Oh, what

26:25

do I, why travel a lot? So I just

26:27

was in Australia and then I went to New

26:29

Zealand. I really love to be on an airplane.

26:31

I love everything about an airplane. I love learning

26:34

about new airplanes. Like that is I'm a travel

26:36

junkie. Yeah. So did

26:38

you know New Zealand is actually where they film the

26:41

Lord of the Rings series and the Hobbit? Yes. And

26:43

I went to some of the locations where they shot.

26:45

Can I tell you New Zealand was one of the,

26:47

I can tell you why. Yeah. Yeah. I had to

26:49

wait. I had to run. I'd swim. I drive bikes.

26:52

I had to rock on. I had to play video

26:54

games. I had to play computer games. I had to

26:56

read books. I seen songs. I had to color. I

26:59

love that. I like to color sometimes

27:01

like call my mind relaxing. Yeah.

27:03

And what do you do when you're mad upset? What do

27:06

I do when I'm upset? Yeah. When you're mad upset. Well,

27:08

I do oftentimes vacuum. You know, I'm one of

27:10

those people when I get upset about things, I

27:12

kind of like to just hang out in my

27:14

car and listen to music and like fill out

27:16

so that I don't, so that I don't end

27:18

up taking that anger out on somebody else. That

27:20

makes sense. I'm mad upset. I talk to my friends and

27:22

family about it. I go on walks. I take you best.

27:25

Go on walks. I think 99% of

27:27

the world's problems could be just, it could be figured out

27:29

if everyone just went and took a walk. Yeah. Right. Right.

27:31

Saying something that you're going to regret, just go out and

27:33

take a walk. What do you do when you get upset?

27:36

Sometimes when I am really

27:38

frustrated and I need to clear my head,

27:40

I just go outside, put on my headphones

27:42

and listen to my music. Yeah. Like a

27:44

little Johnny Cash. Yeah. They say, Hey,

27:46

you shouldn't rate. He's the volume higher than 36,

27:50

but I'll go 40, 50,

27:53

I don't. Yeah. Connor. Or even

27:55

to a hundred. I don't care. Oh,

27:57

so you're, you're out in the woods and you're blasting the

27:59

music. You're letting them know because

28:01

sometimes you just see that's like how I would

28:03

I do in my car? I get in my

28:06

car I blast Olivia Rodrigo the song vampire and

28:08

I just rage out and then you feel good

28:10

and then you can go have a conversation With somebody

28:13

where you're actually able to like think with a clear

28:15

head, right? Right? So you like to run?

28:17

It's about to run a big exerciser gotta

28:19

be okay I mean, I like to like dance and do

28:21

stuff like that But if you ask me to go on

28:23

a run Tanner, I gotta be honest with you. I couldn't

28:25

do it I couldn't keep out blame you. I don't

28:27

blame you. Yeah, do you ever get shin splints?

28:29

Or those okay, it's when you've been running a lot

28:32

and then the front of your legs like hurt that

28:34

really no You don't get sore. Well, you know now

28:36

always do you like sports? I

28:38

do actually tell me what do you love? I

28:40

do enjoy watching thing

28:45

Thing baseball, yeah basketball, but

28:47

most of all Soccer.

28:49

Oh, yeah. Have you ever been doing

28:51

an Atlanta United game? Oh, yeah I

28:54

actually just recently one with my dad last Saturday

28:56

the best right and we actually have like a

28:58

winning team Which is exciting now. Can

29:00

I ask you guys? I know I'm I've I've you

29:03

know, why don't you check to get to know you?

29:05

So since you've been on a show that was about

29:07

dating What was it experience

29:09

like do you feel that you were want

29:11

to continue to date? Is it

29:13

something that you know, it was a new challenge

29:15

for you. Was it scary going on your first

29:17

date? It was not scary.

29:19

No, it was not scary go on my first

29:21

day. I had a real joyful spirit about it

29:23

Yeah, I real joyful spirit about so you weren't

29:25

nervous. No, it's ma'am. I was not nervous Wow,

29:28

and your first date was with the young lady at

29:30

the zoo It's right and how did you think the

29:32

date went? I think the date went great. Yeah,

29:34

she was having a great time Yeah, she was ever great time

29:36

and you were so thoughtful of the way that you took

29:38

her around and you showed her all the different animals You

29:40

know all the facts like honestly, I wish I had been

29:42

on dates like that But most of the dates I went

29:45

on before I met my husband were horrible because

29:47

people just aren't patient you were so patient I

29:49

was both gentlemen. How did you feel going on

29:51

your first date? I I

29:53

can only say I never felt so nervous in

29:55

my life. Yeah This was a huge

30:00

step for me. Yeah, absolutely. Listen, I'll tell

30:02

you right now, it's a huge step for

30:04

everybody dating. It's so awkward. Whether you've never

30:06

been on a date before or not, or

30:08

you've been on 100, it's always

30:11

awkward, right? Because you have these feelings where you're meeting

30:13

new people, and you want to impress them. But also,

30:15

every time I'm on a date, I feel like there's

30:17

something on my face. I'm always checking myself, like, do

30:19

I have food on my face? Because you just want

30:22

to put your best foot forward. Now that

30:24

you've been on dates, what do you

30:26

think you would do moving forward as

30:28

you date? Anything you would

30:30

change or do differently? Well, usually,

30:35

I'd be more concerned about keeping my

30:38

nerves under control. Nerves

30:41

are a good thing, though. And I

30:43

always remember my manners, you know? A

30:45

man with manners, that's a lost thing. And

30:47

I'm sure you have great manners because you love the royal family.

30:50

Have you ever seen any of their, like, you

30:52

know, they have a different set of manners. Like,

30:54

it's one thing to have nice manners. It's another

30:56

thing to have, like, royal family manners. Yeah, it's

30:58

a lot of studying and learning and all of

31:01

that. But I can tell you what, y'all having

31:03

nice manners, that's the number one thing a gal's

31:05

gonna love. Yeah, right.

31:07

Now, were you, so you were nervous going on

31:09

your first date? I was. Can I tell you

31:11

something, though? I get nervous before I go out on

31:13

stage to perform in front of tons of people. And

31:16

somebody told me once, the day you quit getting

31:18

nervous is the day you don't care. So I

31:20

think having nerves is a good thing. Because that

31:22

means you still care about it, right? Yeah. And

31:25

whenever I get nervous, I reframe it in my

31:27

brain to say I'm excited. Right, right. Do you

31:30

ever get nervous? Sometimes. Yeah. And is there

31:32

any way that how do you calm yourself

31:34

down in those situations? I tell

31:36

myself I can do it. You can do it.

31:38

Competence is key. I learned that word, competent.

31:42

Yeah. A racehorse stuck in the gate,

31:45

ain't winning to get out. He isn't scared. No.

31:47

Just ready to run. He's ready to run. Yes.

31:49

Because our friend from back home, one of our

31:52

friends who I hanged out with a lot, Mr.

31:54

Steve, Mr. Steve told me that he has confidence

31:56

in me. Tanner

32:00

I'm gonna tell you right now. I think everybody

32:02

has confidence in you. Yeah, I think honor

32:04

as well Y'all should be confident guys. I

32:06

think our coffee guys. We are happy guys.

32:08

Yeah Listen, listen, you're

32:10

handsome. You're smart You have kind spirits

32:13

and I I think you the world

32:15

is your oyster What would be your

32:17

absolute dream job to have what

32:20

you're doing now? I yet why I'm doing now I

32:22

mean, you're really crushing it. That's awesome I

32:24

think 90% of life is finding something that you love

32:26

and sticking to it, right? Right giving it your all Connor

32:28

What do you want to do? I mean as

32:31

a child what I wanted it to do

32:33

was my dream job was becoming

32:35

a blacksmith No, you

32:37

love swords. Yeah, I do. Okay. So do you

32:40

think you could ever have you ever like whittled

32:42

wood or done anything with any knives? Can't

32:45

say that I have yeah We

32:47

could take a pottery. Maybe we lean in and go,

32:49

you know, cuz I always work with your hands.

32:51

Yeah, like I Dangerous yeah. Yeah,

32:53

it's like like I could make

32:55

something like like in the movie ghost Oh

32:58

in the movie goes we Connor we should

33:00

recreate ghosts where we make pottery together. That

33:02

can be so listening to on chain melody

33:06

To this day. I can't

33:08

look at any clay pot

33:11

or Any any clay

33:13

pottery like a water without thinking of

33:15

ghost without thinking of that song. Yeah,

33:17

that's a great song great iconic movie

33:21

No, I never seen it we might yeah, we'll put it

33:23

on the list of things you should see dinner I didn't

33:25

like it. It's a good movie. Is that scary? Is

33:27

it? No, no, no, it's actually more It's actually kind

33:29

of like a little sad and romantic, but it's a

33:31

sweet movie Do you have any actors

33:33

or actresses that you love watching them in movies? Yes,

33:35

who do you love Jack Black? Okay, I

33:37

could I come for Panda and mark. Yeah same

33:40

here. Oh, we love come in my car Cuz

33:42

it cuz I like trek and will fail cuz

33:44

I like another good one. You ever see Austin

33:46

Powers. Oh, yeah I'm gonna like one day. Yeah,

33:49

I love awesome powers. Look I'm telling you what?

33:52

When he does the mini me with you know,

33:54

when he's got mini me and he's like, oh

33:56

I want one billion dollars I love my buyers

33:58

that movie It's hilarious.

34:00

So funny that you get the fembots. I

34:03

mean mike meyers is just acting crazy in that

34:05

movie It's one of my favorite movies. It's

34:07

hilarious. Have you ever seen dumb and dumber?

34:09

Oh, yes. I love that movie in the

34:11

world That's my favorite. That's my ghost. Yeah

34:14

So all right now whenever you guys hang out with

34:16

your group of friends since you've been on tv Do

34:18

they treat you differently at all? No, ma'am. They

34:20

don't treat me differently. I love that. That's good

34:23

That means you're surrounded by great people. Yeah, because

34:25

i'm surrounded by great people Yeah, now

34:27

do both of y'all still want to continue to date

34:29

or how you feeling about the whole journey? I've

34:31

been so busy that that I haven't had time

34:33

to I feel busy and let me tell you

34:36

Tanner. That's great. Stay busy, right? I'm

34:39

actually taking a break from dating. Yep,

34:42

if it's taught me anything you and

34:44

every other woman in america Yeah, maybe i'm

34:46

not ready yet. Okay, that's all right And sometimes

34:49

it's nice to take breaks and then you re have you

34:51

know, you you go back to it Do

34:53

a little self-care take care of yourself. I think

34:55

you should start pottery a cowboy back who falls

34:57

out of his Falls off

35:00

his horse gets back in the saddle. That's

35:02

right Can I tell you I

35:04

got some bad news about a business venture that i've been

35:06

working on for a couple of years? It was fine. They

35:08

just I found out that my tv show wasn't getting picked

35:10

up and I was really bummed out You

35:12

know what? It's like I need I needed to hear that

35:14

car. I needed to hear Like

35:16

a cowboy. I got to get back in the

35:18

saddle and keep riding right because life happens Yeah,

35:20

have you ever had a real disappointment in your

35:23

life before? Real disappointment

35:25

and if you haven't that's okay. That's great.

35:27

I hope you don't Well,

35:30

what do you do whenever you get a little frustrated with

35:32

things like, you know, Tanner said he goes you like to

35:34

go for a run Right. Let's go outside. Yes. Are you

35:36

like go talk with your friends about things? Yeah, I could

35:38

go talk about friends I just go

35:40

outside and listen to my music. Yeah and volume 100

35:44

Yeah Yeah, so what's your

35:47

go-to music when you're really frustrated if

35:49

I had to pick a genre I

35:51

think maybe The

35:55

Hard rock hard rock. Yeah, there's

35:57

a band called rage against the machine and sometimes

36:00

I will also listen to them and it's like really you

36:02

know what I mean? You just get it you get

36:04

out the feelings and then you then you're good, right?

36:06

Yeah, yeah. So what's your perfect day off? So you're

36:08

not working at the hotel You're not working at Kroger

36:10

and you get to have the whole day to yourself

36:13

What is your favorite thing to do in the morning? I

36:15

think they do in the morning is I'm awesome

36:17

TV shows with Frankie Oh, that's fantastic.

36:19

And then what do you where's your favorite place to

36:21

go to lunch? My favorite place to go lunch is That's

36:24

okay. Okay. Nice. How about you me?

36:27

I wait in my perfect day

36:29

off of me I wake up make myself some

36:31

eggs on toast. Nice. We have some cereal. Are

36:33

you a coffee guy? Yeah, I am How do

36:35

you like your coffee? Light

36:38

light great hot or cold hot hot. Oh,

36:40

yeah, I gotta have a hot one cup

36:42

of coffee And I'm good for the whole

36:44

day. Yeah, me too brother I'll tell you

36:47

what because sometimes you've got too much car with

36:49

my limit two cups is my limit

36:51

mine, too I've I have more than two cups

36:53

of coffee. I'll be sweating through my t-shirt, right? I

36:55

get hot, right? I know these lights are

36:57

hot. All right. And so then what do you do after breakfast?

36:59

Well after breakfast I Probably

37:02

watch a little TV read a book.

37:04

Yeah, look listen to music go for

37:06

a walk, right? And

37:09

enjoy either day this for you You

37:11

know, this isn't a real refreshing conversation because I talked

37:13

to a lot of people who just sometimes we get

37:15

bogged down in our Own stuff right, right? It's really

37:18

refreshing to see that we're all dealing with the same

37:20

kind of things, right? We all have fears we all

37:22

have frustrations But we all have wonderful friends and family

37:24

that we can lean on and chit chat with and

37:26

I find it so refreshing When I

37:28

saw y'all on the show I was just like

37:30

this is you guys just seem like so much

37:32

fun look really just down to earth and that's

37:35

the coolest thing Right. Like

37:37

I mean just like regular guys who like

37:39

to have a good time and who are honest,

37:41

right? Honestly, he's pretty great is He's

37:44

great. It's great. So do you have any cool

37:46

trips coming up or anything? You have you're looking

37:48

forward to? Yes, where you going April 2nd me

37:50

my mom and sister Mitch are going to Mexico

37:52

Oh for a day for some making to say

37:54

Joe by my 25th birthday Tanner your go for

37:57

your 25th birthday Cancun

38:00

Oh, I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. You're not

38:02

kidding. No, no, I'm not kidding. Oh, so

38:05

what's on the agenda in can't good Let me take

38:07

can't coons fun. Yeah. Yeah, what are you

38:09

gonna do in Cancun? We're gonna swim the beach and

38:11

so yeah poor and there'll be good food good desserts

38:13

and the boiling you in and a lazy river Wait,

38:15

you have a lazy river. Yeah, there will be a

38:17

lazy river. I love lazy rivers more than anything Have

38:19

you ever been in a lazy river? I have to

38:21

what's better than a lazy river? You get to

38:23

be in a raft cool by the water and

38:26

you get to be lazy. Yeah Only

38:31

under lazy river day. I like to be busy.

38:33

But if I don't love a lazy river, I'll tell you

38:35

what Okay, so are you gonna do any like you

38:38

know the beach? Do you love guacamole? I

38:40

don't know. No, you don't I do I agree. I

38:42

enjoy like sour cream. I Love

38:45

sour cream. I put sour cream on everything.

38:47

Do you like ranch dressing? I do like ranch dressing.

38:49

Oh the best you like ranch Oh, yeah. Oh,

38:51

yeah, I mean, I'll tell you what I sometimes keep

38:53

a bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch in my car I

38:56

keep it. Yeah, I take it on the road with

38:58

me like there's ranch goes on everything when you really

39:00

think about it Do you like guacamole and

39:02

salsa and queso so you can handle

39:05

spicy food? Yeah, I enjoy you

39:07

don't like nice, right? No, ma'am. I don't like

39:09

that's okay. You know, everybody's got a different palette. I

39:11

love that So it's a perfect day office. Obviously

39:14

you get to go to Cancun Yeah, and do

39:16

you have any travels coming up? Well, I

39:18

am going to New York or One

39:21

of the Big Apple your first time no, I

39:23

it isn't of course Oh, yeah, I believe you

39:25

you probably you know chitchat it with King

39:27

Charles or somebody at the end You are you

39:30

going to meet him or no? No, no, I'm actually going

39:32

to be on Broadway Wait

39:35

a minute this subtle drunk you're gonna be on Broadway.

39:38

Yeah, are you performing? Well, not exactly

39:40

Tell me about it. But I it will will

39:43

be towards the end. I'll be Asked

39:46

to come up to sing one song Can

39:48

you tell us or no is it is it under wraps?

39:50

No Okay, that's fine. I

39:52

like that. You know, Connor. I feel like you're going

39:55

Hollywood on a set He's like I got

39:57

a project but I can't talk about it. I haven't

39:59

gotten to Hollywood would yet. The

40:02

weekend after I'll be flying up to

40:04

LA, pay for the Emmys. Oh

40:07

wow, this is really cool. So the Emmys

40:09

that are going on in September. Is

40:12

this later on? Okay, great, we love this. So basically

40:14

what you're saying Connor is you're a star in your

40:16

jet setting. I mean, let me

40:18

tell you, I was a musical theater kid, I

40:20

was a theater major and you know I'm turning

40:22

37 on Friday and in 37 years

40:24

I have not been asked to be on Broadway and

40:26

I am just very jealous that you're getting to

40:28

be on Broadway. Do you like musicals? Well,

40:32

it's okay if you don't like them. Not really. Not for

40:34

everybody. You know my husband doesn't like musicals. I prefer, I

40:36

do like musicals. Jack Black once said there's no

40:40

money in theater. They're

40:43

sick to film. Let

40:46

me tell you something right now Connor. I feel like

40:48

I want a fake smoking cigarette. This is fake, I'm

40:50

just miming this. Let me tell you what, there is

40:52

no money in Broadway. Okay, stick to

40:54

films and that's why we're all out here doing

40:57

TV because this is smart because you guys are on

40:59

TV. Right, we're on TV. You're on TV. Yeah.

41:01

I'm going to New York and bar

41:03

showing the ISA to be on the Kelly Clarkson show. Me and

41:05

Major are going to be on the Kelly Clarkson show. Yeah, he's

41:07

on the right now. Tell me, tell me. My

41:09

publicist has been trying to get me on the

41:11

Kelly Clarkson show and I, we'll

41:14

be in New York then. Okay, well when

41:16

you go on the Kelly Clarkson show, you

41:18

drop, do me a favor and say, Heather

41:20

McMahon needs to be on here. That's

41:22

all say Heather. I'll say Heather

41:24

McMahon, McMahon, McMahon, McMahon, McMahon.

41:26

That's great, you're

41:30

on it. McMahon. McMahon, it needs to be on

41:32

there. I would really appreciate the plug because

41:34

we've been, I mean you're doing more for

41:37

me than my team is. Yes, I am. So did they, what are they

41:39

going to ask you on the Kelly Clarkson show? Do you know? What are

41:41

they going to ask you, I forgot. A lot

41:44

about the hotel. The hotel bit. Can I, oh,

41:48

that's very cool. Yeah. That's smart that they're going

41:50

to see. I didn't even want to ask you

41:52

any questions. I'm just like, you know, you want to be

41:54

on the Broadway. Tanner, I have worked so many

41:56

different restaurant jobs. I have worked as

41:58

a bartender. I worked server. I've

42:00

worked as a hostess. I've worked so many

42:02

jobs in hospitality. So I think it's great

42:04

that you're working in hospitality. Oh yeah, it is

42:06

great. It is great. And do you find that

42:09

anybody treats you differently because they know you're autistic? Do you

42:11

ever find that in life? I mean, no,

42:13

but I know that nobody treats me differently.

42:15

That's great because they shouldn't. Everybody's dealing with

42:17

something, right? I got eczema. Let me tell you

42:20

what. I've got itchy eczema and some days

42:22

it flares up and it is very uncomfortable. Do

42:24

you have a disability together? Well, I don't know.

42:26

Yeah, I mean ask my husband. I'm sure he'll

42:28

tell you I've got plenty. But no, you know,

42:30

I don't know technically. Well, I do have ADHD.

42:32

Do you know attention deficit disorder?

42:34

No, tell me. So it's a little

42:36

challenging. Sometimes like it's hard for me to concentrate

42:39

on things and my mind moves very quickly. So

42:41

I'm always bouncing around to different things. Like as

42:43

I've gotten older too, sometimes I think with work

42:45

I get so stressed out. Like I really have

42:47

to write things down. That's why I made a

42:49

list today because I'll start one thing and then

42:51

I'll move to the next thing and then I

42:53

forget to go finish the other thing. Okay.

42:55

So I have to stay organized. And

42:58

again, the eczema. It's crippling. I'll

43:00

tell you what. What is one

43:02

takeaway that you when you have people watch the show

43:04

and with your newfound fame and the fact you're gonna

43:07

be on Broadway and go to Hollywood, you get to

43:09

go to Cancun. Is there anything when people watch the

43:11

show that you want them to take away from the

43:13

show? If that makes sense? No,

43:15

it doesn't make sense. Okay, actually it didn't make sense to me

43:17

either. What is one

43:20

feeling that you want the audience to feel when

43:22

they watch you on television? I

43:24

want them to feel good. I

43:27

want them to know that I'm what such a good swimmer

43:29

I am. Then period. Everybody you've

43:31

heard it here first on the Abbotanat podcast. Tanner

43:33

wants you to feel good and know that he's a

43:35

good swimmer and I like that. I like that novel.

43:38

Connor, how about you? Is there anything when

43:40

people watch you on television? Is there anything that

43:42

you want the audience to take away or feel

43:44

when they watch you from your story? What

43:47

I want them to feel is more concern

43:49

for their own dating lives. I mean it's

43:52

not easy. Yeah. It's no picnic. Oh,

43:54

that's the truth. I'll tell you what. Before

43:56

I met my husband, I was out dating. I mean

43:58

it was rough. You know what I

44:01

mean? Because again, it's those awkward feelings. You want to

44:03

put your best foot forward. You're meeting somebody new for

44:05

the first time. You're like, do I have mustard on

44:07

my shirt? It can be really nerve wracking. So

44:09

you want them to also feel that they're

44:11

not alone in the dating world. Yeah. I

44:14

love that. That's cool. Anything else

44:17

you ever want to ask me? Oh yeah. When you were a kid, did you

44:19

go to church camp? Did I go to church camp? Of course

44:21

I went to church camp. Vacation Bible School? Oh

44:23

yeah. What's your favorite Bible story? David and

44:25

Goliath. Pretty cool one. Yeah.

44:28

I like David and Goliath too. Do you remember everything you

44:30

did at church camp? What did we do at church

44:32

camp? I went to a Christian

44:34

school too, so we loved to sing songs about God.

44:37

And I also went to theater camp. And fun fact,

44:39

I went to surf camp too. I love camp. So

44:42

I would go do plays. I would go to church camp,

44:44

learn scripture. I would go to theater camp and put on

44:46

plays. Then I go to surf camp and surf on surfboards

44:48

in the ocean. Do you remember the food you ate? The

44:51

food I ate? I feel like food at camp is

44:53

not always the best, right? And I love food.

44:55

A lot of hot dogs, a lot of pizza,

44:57

spaghetti. You know, what did you eat at church camp? Oh

45:00

dude, so I was 12. Me and my sister

45:02

in church camp in North Carolina, they're church friends.

45:04

Mr. Curran, his friends, Evan Drint, Mr. Bobby, Alex,

45:06

our friends we do a tune to with. That's

45:09

his brother, Oi, our friend, Sal, and Son Seth. We do

45:11

churchings with the church music. And me,

45:13

Evan Drint, we have a big pass. We went

45:15

to the top. We played bridesmaid. We went and

45:18

volleyball to him. We played volleyball. And I tried

45:20

hamburgers, chicken tins, french fries, mac and cheese, and

45:22

fruit. And some mornings, I'd sit up for breakfast. Some

45:24

mornings, I'd hash on some breakfast. Yeah. I'm

45:26

sorry, I had pancakes some mornings. I

45:29

should've gone to your camp. Right, everyone drink. And some days

45:31

nights, I brides for dessert. And some nights, we went to

45:33

a ice cream. Wait, so some nights you

45:35

had brownies and some nights you had ice cream. Yeah, yeah,

45:37

yeah, no, so some days, and nights I brides for

45:39

dessert. And some nights, we went to a ice cream.

45:41

And I was home sick some past up on church

45:44

camp. And it was in

45:46

the mountains of North Carolina. Oh cool. Oh, I

45:48

bet that was an awesome setting. Very cool. I

45:50

love that you remember everything you ate. That's how I feel sometimes

45:53

before I go to a restaurant, I look at the menu online

45:55

so I can get excited about the food. Do you ever do

45:57

that? Oh yeah. I

46:00

actually enjoy restaurants very much.

46:03

Great. I love that. Yeah. Well,

46:05

you know what? You all have been such a pleasure, and I

46:07

don't want to keep it too long because I know I'm long-winded

46:09

in chitchat. But I want you to know this

46:11

is such an honor and a pleasure to get to chitchat with

46:13

you guys. And I'm rooting for your success, and I hope you

46:15

become a giant Broadway star. But maybe if we want to take

46:17

a pottery class, if you're ever down, I would love to join

46:20

you for pottery. Oh, I

46:22

think I'd enjoy pottery. Anything you want

46:24

to tell the listeners, anything you want to leave them

46:26

with, you can say whatever you want. Oh,

46:28

what are some things you don't like to do? What are things I

46:30

don't like to do? Hmm, well, let's

46:32

see. What do I not like to do?

46:35

I don't like to carry my own luggage because

46:37

my luggage is always overweight. So I do have

46:40

to carry a lot of bags. I travel a

46:42

lot. So that's frustrating. I don't like

46:44

to do meetings. You know what I mean?

46:46

Like, work is exhausting. I don't

46:48

like to have to fill my car with gas. The gas

46:50

station stresses me out. I hear you. Yeah.

46:53

When I come home from work after a long day,

46:55

I often come home to

46:57

a messy house. The worst. Yeah.

47:00

Now, is it messy because your

47:02

mom's not picking up the slack

47:04

or what? It's

47:07

not my mom who isn't picking up the

47:09

slack. Who is it? Another family member? You

47:12

want to throw somebody out of the bus right now? I'll

47:14

tell you what I do. I don't like to play. I

47:16

don't like to water ski. I don't like to snow ski. I don't

47:18

like to waveboard. I don't like to play football. I don't like to

47:21

play chess. Chess is hard. Right,

47:23

it's so important to buy checkers. That's

47:25

just fun. I actually enjoy chess very

47:27

much. Well, of course you enjoy chess,

47:29

Connor, because you're part of the royal family. I'm

47:32

not part of the royal family, but I do

47:36

have a broad mind. You do have a broad mind. And

47:38

let me tell you what. I've got

47:40

a broad mind, but I think this is one of

47:42

the coolest conversations I've had in a minute. I really

47:44

appreciate you guys being here. Yeah, I'm

47:46

glad we were here. Thank you

47:48

for coming. You're welcome. Any last words? Nope.

47:52

We've got to come here. We've got to talk with

47:54

you, Heather. I'm glad that you guys have talked. I'm

47:56

also glad very much. Oh, thank you guys. I hope

47:58

we're all new friends. Thank you. I'm going to chit chat

48:00

with your moms here in a minute because I want

48:02

to talk to them about just like being cool

48:04

moms. But regardless, I am rooting for your success

48:06

and y'all, the sky's the limit. So whatever you

48:08

want to do, we are 110% behind you. Okay.

48:13

All right. We're crushing it. Right,

48:15

Tanner? We are crushing it. That's

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51:36

I'm here with Lise and Nikki. Y'all,

51:38

I am so grateful that you're here. And how

51:40

all this kind of came about is that you

51:42

called into the podcast. Yes, I did. And you

51:44

said, long time fan, long time. But why I

51:47

adore you. And you were like, hey, I'd love

51:49

to bring the boys in. And they just recently

51:51

met. Correct. Right. Yeah. So they're new buds. They

51:53

are. When I was watching the show, the biggest

51:55

takeaway for me was just what champions you

51:58

guys are for your kids. And parents

52:00

want to feel like they're champions for their kids. But

52:02

y'all are really the stars of the show. I mean,

52:04

truly, I found it. I don't

52:07

even know how to use my words to explain what

52:09

I want to ask you. And like y'all have been

52:11

obviously on this journey for

52:14

however long they've been around,

52:16

right? And I feel like people

52:18

are just getting to peer into the window

52:20

of this like little niche part of their

52:22

lives. But explain to me kind of maybe

52:25

your thoughts and feelings around how like, you know,

52:28

now you guys are people are you

52:30

have attention around your families, but you're like,

52:32

we've been in this forever. I mean, the

52:34

boys are 25. And have things changed when

52:36

it comes to, you know, how

52:38

people are diagnosed with autism now, drastically,

52:40

dramatically or not at all, since the

52:42

boys have grown up? I would say

52:44

drastically. Yeah, I agree. I

52:47

mean, Tanner was diagnosed in 02. Was that

52:49

about same as Connor? Right? Yes, I think so.

52:51

Yeah. And he was four. Yeah, we started seeing

52:53

differences at two and a half. But that's, you

52:55

know, 2001 2002. There were you know,

52:59

we had internet, but it's dial up. You

53:01

know, you we did not just have a phone where

53:03

I could flip open and find a million resources. And

53:05

I knew no one, the only mental

53:08

image I had of autism in my mind was

53:10

the movie Rain Man. Yeah, that was it. I

53:12

mean, literally, I had, why would you

53:14

know about it if you don't need to know about it, you know,

53:16

until it comes into your life. And it

53:18

just, you know, the world was so much

53:20

smaller than and it was just so different.

53:22

And you only had your medical provider and

53:25

people that you knew I felt that way. Yeah,

53:27

absolutely. And I mean, I felt very alone. I

53:30

felt this tremendous sense of pressure

53:32

to quickly, quickly, quickly find

53:34

the right therapy. But there was no one directing

53:36

me on as to how to get that done.

53:38

Yeah. I'm a little different

53:41

background. I came out of college and I

53:43

worked in Metro Boston at the New England

53:45

Center for autism at the

53:47

time now it's the New England Center for Children. And

53:49

I came right out of school and I

53:51

started working with autistic kids. Cool. Wow. So

53:54

I was working in the early intervention preschool

53:56

room. I was working with nonverbal children, children

53:58

who had just been newly diagnosed. I

54:00

was fresh-faced out of college newlywed and

54:03

knew it all right So I

54:05

was that girl and then worked with these

54:07

kids very closely for years Then

54:10

moved to South Florida did some home-based

54:12

therapy there got pregnant with Connor. He

54:14

was my first moved

54:16

on to Texas and Stopped

54:19

working became a full-time mom and

54:21

by Connors Second

54:23

birthday. I had seen things

54:25

earlier before that really bothered me And

54:28

at the time I was married to

54:30

Connors dad and Connors dad was like Hey, these are the

54:32

kids that you were just used to being around so that's what

54:34

you think you're seeing and To

54:36

make a really long story short. It

54:38

took until age five to get him

54:41

diagnosed really so I felt guilty mad

54:45

Mad at myself didn't trust my instinct let

54:47

medical professionals because back in o2 Connor was

54:49

talking Connor was looking at you We were

54:51

to Connor was yeah walking on his tippy

54:54

toes and repeating about the builder episodes four

54:56

days later Perfectly with all the accents right

54:58

and picking bark off trees by himself

55:00

at play groups while the other kids

55:02

were all Collaborating and I get

55:05

getting pushed out of doctor's offices because he was looking

55:07

at me and talking same So we

55:09

connected on this so much when we met each other and

55:11

talked and it was like So

55:13

sister you understand what I'm saying because

55:15

Tanner was also always verbal and

55:18

he had like WH questions He would ask you why

55:20

where when how and he would make eye contact with

55:22

you So medical professionals didn't think they were like me

55:24

out of their office I've been got a

55:26

problem. I kept getting told he's well I

55:30

have one older daughter who is very precocious and very

55:32

verbal and oh don't compare him to her He's just

55:34

not gonna be like her. He's a boy and I'm

55:36

like mmm. No something's not right You know

55:38

one thing I would say to any younger

55:40

mom that's out there listening If

55:43

you have a mother-gut feeling follow

55:45

it about anything you're right I don't

55:48

know what anybody says that's your baby and

55:50

you know and I just had I would keep

55:52

me awake at night I knew I was like

55:54

there's something not developing correctly I know something's off

55:57

and it it was hard for us. It was almost a

55:59

three-year journey from onset of

56:01

obvious symptoms to diagnosis. Wow.

56:04

Yeah, between two and a half and three years of testing.

56:06

I mean, we saw every specialist that we could

56:09

get our hands on. And in those

56:11

days, we had to have more than one set

56:13

of documentation to get the diagnosis, did you? We

56:15

had to have- And they had help from school. Right.

56:18

You had to have like several people in agreement. I had

56:20

two different doctors diagnosed at the same time. I had four.

56:23

Now, I'm sure this has got

56:26

to be a little frustrating nowadays, right? Like

56:28

obviously, a lot more

56:30

people are figuring out that they're somewhere

56:33

on the spectrum. What does the spectrum

56:35

mean to you as moms with kids

56:37

with autism? Like the spectrum's a little

56:39

confusing, right? I agree. I

56:41

think the water is so muddy now and

56:43

more than ever. And I think we were

56:45

just saying Christine, who is Abby's

56:47

mom from- She did a beautiful video.

56:50

She's done a TikTok, yes, recently, but

56:52

she's a big cheerleader of this. The

56:55

spectrum has become very confusing. And I

56:57

think that there are different groups that

56:59

do need help services and identifying themselves

57:01

to feel like they're getting the services

57:04

or the scaffolding they need. Yeah. However-

57:08

And camaraderie with each other. Yeah, for sure. But

57:10

I mean, autism, I know from my experience

57:12

with my son, he would not

57:14

have gotten through his school years without a

57:16

lot of intervention, therapies, and

57:18

so forth. We

57:21

did almost four years of 35 hours

57:23

a week with a team of four

57:25

girls in our home doing ABA therapy.

57:27

We had a whole team privately employed

57:29

in our home every day, all

57:31

day, working with Tanner. And without

57:33

that, I don't know that we ever would have been able

57:35

to handle a typical classroom setting.

57:38

Right. And even with that

57:40

support and lots of OT, we did

57:42

biomedical intervention. We did different dietary intervention.

57:44

We did chiropractic. We did supplementation. You

57:46

name it, we did music therapy. We

57:48

did it. Tanner still had to

57:51

attend a school for special learners with specially

57:53

trained teachers and a smaller class size. So

57:56

I mean, for us, it took a lot of intervention

57:58

to make it through high school. And

58:00

I want other families to realize

58:02

too like they see these two

58:04

very charismatic very kind very well-mannered

58:07

Guys who are out there in the world

58:09

living and gainfully employed But that's with 20

58:11

plus years of a lot of hard work

58:14

And we had to be so annoying when you

58:17

get a DM or yeah, I do an

58:19

email. Have you tried this? Yeah. Yeah, Cheryl Where

58:22

you been? I can only imagine

58:24

two years ago. Yeah, we were just talking about

58:27

in the car I get more frustrated now with

58:29

and granted, you know, we put ourselves on this

58:31

global stage We knew what we were getting into

58:33

right husband quickly reminds me when I when we

58:35

do get the odd message or comment But

58:38

I get that, you know, I I

58:41

I'm in the show a little yeah Yeah,

58:44

and I get a lot of we you're just too excited.

58:46

You make me uncomfortable It's not not at

58:48

all first of all come girl. Please me home girl

58:51

That's a dog. I'm excited. You make me

58:53

uncomfortable because I get too excited or I'm

58:55

too I'm like these are

58:57

our children and I'm like this Cheryl's

59:00

house. I'm seeing same thing.

59:02

I would love to see inside her

59:04

doors I'm sure like where I met

59:06

is Connors my oldest child Uh-huh and

59:09

Connor has had to live in a house where

59:11

and we have blended family I have two older

59:13

stepchildren that have been in Connors life for 12

59:16

years and He has had

59:18

gotten to watch them go to proms and do all

59:20

the things right and Connors always the one home with

59:22

me and my Right and

59:25

I'm not gonna be sorry. I'm too excited

59:27

that I was Connors moment. Yeah Yeah, and

59:29

you know, I see the moment it's it's

59:31

been really cool for me because I mean

59:33

number one I'm so incredibly grateful for the

59:35

unbelievably majority of positive feedback. Yeah that we

59:37

have gotten I mean I have to say

59:39

that it has been unreal and I mean

59:41

my heart I mean little I'll sit there

59:43

and just cry reading these comments and

59:45

the way that Tanner's kindness and his purity

59:48

of heart has Impacted people and the way

59:50

they're just so refreshed by his just kind

59:52

of childlike joy and and just the way

59:54

he views the world But that

59:56

one little bit nasty or a little

59:58

bit negative that one And it's like, maybe

1:00:01

he's allergic to gluten and you're like, I don't even

1:00:03

want to hear it. I

1:00:05

would pop off. I would. But it's kind

1:00:07

of been refreshing to me and I feel like I'm 51, but

1:00:10

it's been a growth factor. I'm

1:00:12

like, I'm so confident in who we are and how

1:00:14

hard we work to get him here. And

1:00:17

I can say unequivocally Tanner deserves

1:00:19

every good thing in life. He

1:00:22

worked so hard. I

1:00:24

remember those years. Everybody

1:00:26

else is outside playing. Everybody else is on a

1:00:28

team and he's sitting across the table or going

1:00:31

to his fifth therapy appointment that week in the

1:00:33

car with me. We're all tired.

1:00:35

We're all frustrated. My husband is providing for all

1:00:37

of this. It was an incredible team effort. Anything

1:00:40

good that is happening in Tanner's life. And I mean, I'm

1:00:42

like, I'm like, and he is just

1:00:45

as nice as he appears on screen. He

1:00:50

is just as helpful in his mind. He's better

1:00:52

in person. Yeah, that's amazing. I suppose the boys

1:00:54

are asleep right now. Just so you know,

1:00:56

this is the greatest thing. You guys go back to napping.

1:00:59

Don't worry. Y'all be comfortable. I won't

1:01:01

keep you here too long. I love. This

1:01:03

is what I love. It's the honesty. My

1:01:05

husband and I were talking about how watching everybody

1:01:07

on the show when they come out the gate

1:01:09

and they say like, these are the things I

1:01:11

like. These are things I don't like. My husband

1:01:13

said he's like, if only other people like, you

1:01:15

know, would date like that and where you're just

1:01:17

like, Hey, this is what I like. This way.

1:01:20

I don't like. He's like all these other guys

1:01:22

shrink these women along for years. Until you're like, Oh, by the way, I

1:01:24

didn't want to have kids. Why didn't you say it on the first day?

1:01:26

You know, let me tell you this in

1:01:28

our house, the nickname for Connor is truth

1:01:31

serum. So one of my favorite

1:01:33

things is honestly, he is, he is honest, Dave. And

1:01:35

I love him to bits and pieces. Like I said,

1:01:37

I live in a blended family. We have,

1:01:39

we have six kids together and all of them

1:01:41

and I'll put something on and I'll

1:01:44

look at my husband and I'm like, does this, you

1:01:46

know, is this okay? Is it, is it, you know,

1:01:48

is it too tight? No,

1:01:51

baby. No, baby. And I'm like, Connor, Connor, Connor.

1:01:53

You can say whatever you want. I'm like, yeah. Come

1:02:00

here. You bring him in the room and I'm like Connor

1:02:02

and he's like, I

1:02:04

don't know mom. That is my

1:02:06

76 year old mother from Boston. Yeah, but you're from

1:02:08

Boston. That's why you want somebody to like no bullshake

1:02:11

keep 100. Yeah, come

1:02:13

at me. No, I would imagine too like

1:02:15

you were saying, you know nowadays people want

1:02:17

to throw in their two cents about things

1:02:19

But I'm sure it was pretty intimidating with

1:02:21

these like mommy and me groups growing up

1:02:23

You had to find your people because everybody

1:02:26

wanted and and tell me if

1:02:28

I'm wrong like was that a challenge? You

1:02:30

know being a young mom and having a

1:02:32

kid that is different It was the hardest

1:02:34

thing i've ever been through ever and you

1:02:37

know for our family and I think my husband and

1:02:39

my other three children Would all it is completely Tanner's

1:02:42

diagnosis has kind of defined who we

1:02:44

are right in so Many

1:02:46

ways and like I mean what it does to you and

1:02:48

your spouse as a couple As

1:02:50

individuals how it impacts the

1:02:53

siblings and then you do find out

1:02:55

who your friends are When Tanner

1:02:57

was younger, he had a lot of self-stimulatory

1:02:59

behaviors. They call it stims for short. He

1:03:01

made a lot of odd sounds He had

1:03:03

some really unusual hand posturing Um,

1:03:06

he moved his head and other children would notice

1:03:08

it and of course their children Yeah, you know,

1:03:10

they're gonna stare and they're gonna ask questions and

1:03:12

then they're going to not want to be with

1:03:14

him So I would always kind

1:03:16

of know who my people were I would

1:03:18

just watch their five minute reaction to Tanner because

1:03:20

you sort of see The look come

1:03:22

over their face like oh something's different here.

1:03:25

It's like whether or not they can handle whether exactly Who

1:03:28

would just sort of like be like, okay, I got this let's

1:03:31

roll. We're gonna love him as he is. I was like Right

1:03:34

and you will like people will

1:03:36

never know what that means to the mother Right

1:03:39

the differently affected child like those friends of ours who

1:03:41

have embraced him, you know And like, you know that

1:03:43

like Tanner he likes to get off on his tangents

1:03:45

And he likes to talk about things that are of

1:03:47

interest to him and shoot a million questions at you

1:03:49

My friends who just give it right back to him

1:03:51

and roll with it or tell him when he needs

1:03:53

to be quiet Right, you know what I mean and

1:03:55

be like, you know what? You know, you're trying to

1:03:57

be freaking nice be quiet. I see that's how we

1:04:00

Right and I don't apologize for that. I mean like and we

1:04:02

tell them all the time buddy You need to chill a little

1:04:04

bit the autism is high today Like

1:04:07

bring it freaking down. Yeah, bring it down exactly or

1:04:09

go be in your room for a while until you

1:04:11

chill Yeah, that's just how we approach. Yeah, and I've

1:04:13

always treated Connor. I'm like, I gotta treat him the

1:04:15

way I think the world is gonna treat. Yeah,

1:04:18

and I don't nince my words with him

1:04:22

Because it's like we're all human and don't need

1:04:24

to be more self-aware I

1:04:26

mean every day of my life and I'm like insert

1:04:28

foot and mouth What have I just said we're talking

1:04:31

about this earlier though And I do and I'm sure

1:04:33

you find it frustrating and not to say, you know

1:04:35

not to diminish out There's people getting new diagnosis is

1:04:37

with things but I do love every now and then

1:04:39

like I'll meet another male comedian Like well, you know

1:04:41

Heather I've autism. Oh my no, you're just actually trying

1:04:43

to be addicted You're

1:04:46

just being a jerk you're like well, I can't you

1:04:48

know, I can't control you're really blunt Yeah, no, you're

1:04:50

actually just trying to hurt my feelings like it's there's

1:04:52

a big difference. Okay, you are just Yeah,

1:04:55

yeah, yeah, so That

1:04:58

is that is so frustrating now. I'm sure you

1:05:00

get that where you're like, no, I we've been

1:05:02

through this We've been through this for 25 years.

1:05:04

I'm not a ringer. Yeah with a ringer. So

1:05:06

it's been and I'm sure the financial burden Do

1:05:10

you want me through that like what is

1:05:12

that experience like Therapy the things that aren't

1:05:15

covered the doctors appointment Oh had we had

1:05:17

to have surgery on Connor cuz he walked

1:05:19

so much. Uh-huh. Yes. He was shortening his

1:05:21

Achilles Achilles. Yep Common the

1:05:24

camps that the Tutoring there

1:05:26

and I found back in that everybody

1:05:28

could fix my kid for 10 grand

1:05:31

Yeah, or five grand or a grand. Yes, you

1:05:33

know snake oil and at that time I

1:05:35

mean, you know, we had an older

1:05:37

one and then we have two more. I

1:05:40

mean here we are growing this family They're

1:05:42

all little and I mean you can't just

1:05:44

parents your special child You know

1:05:46

I mean like I know that Tanner's been

1:05:48

the focus But I mean I have three

1:05:50

other children equally as important and then trying

1:05:52

to divvy it up evenly and not always

1:05:54

have the special Child be the focus. I've

1:05:56

every that's a tremendous parental hurdle. It is

1:05:58

and keeping up with you Of course

1:06:00

it's your child. I mean I remember Mark nice

1:06:02

and and my husband and I. I have to

1:06:04

shout out to him he has been the most

1:06:07

incredible partner and support system but we were like

1:06:09

it's it's out there and we can find a

1:06:11

way to afford it. For. Going to do

1:06:13

We do it. This is our son. I'm this

1:06:15

is our son. We want best outcomes and like

1:06:17

I don't want okay I'll comes. I don't want

1:06:19

good out right? I want best or anybody would

1:06:22

fight for their terms rise and then we have

1:06:24

these the become and then they get excited. Now.

1:06:28

It's like it's announced waiting for kidnapped and

1:06:30

we've had a champion for them. harder with

1:06:32

schools with. Yeah, voters to diagnose.

1:06:34

My kids a single. you've got to,

1:06:36

You get scrappy yeah, you know, and

1:06:38

you get sassy And you know what?

1:06:40

We're doing it for the best reasons.

1:06:43

And you know I admire. The. Smith

1:06:45

family and are several days. they say stuck

1:06:47

it out you know our marriage didn't surprised

1:06:49

I didn't stay married to Connor. Sad on

1:06:51

that does happen to a lot of these.

1:06:53

Well I had people brand you know that

1:06:55

devastated us financially edge on a boring for

1:06:57

mom right? you know and I'm you to.

1:07:00

About Iraq Sorry is finally talked

1:07:02

about Your your your ship floating.

1:07:04

Itself it's hard and I think for us

1:07:07

and in in our family what you get

1:07:09

to see as number. One I found a

1:07:11

man who would jump into the circus tent. With me.

1:07:13

The. Idea who is a millions of it. He was

1:07:16

apart as a way out and ickes, absurd. And

1:07:18

run. Yeah, I would. Just because I got the

1:07:20

zebra with me. I. Ran.

1:07:23

Right into an amazing and his two

1:07:25

children. My such jump right in the

1:07:28

family. And. And they are

1:07:30

out there is forged and fire and they

1:07:32

several their wagons because and that's the blessing

1:07:34

I think of the yes the siblings is

1:07:36

yes they have to deal with a lot

1:07:38

that ma'am he of reasons the other clueless

1:07:40

kids were tolerant. Yeah so when you left

1:07:42

and when you sit when you see these

1:07:44

other siblings as adults and there's just this

1:07:47

kindness and compassion and is and brazilian the

1:07:49

and is So many things right guys and.right

1:07:51

with you know Connor, Indian or but don't

1:07:53

other to build other amazing under minutes right

1:07:55

lessing to man and just what it does

1:07:57

to death as. Far as odd as. Yeah,

1:08:00

but I always tell Jeff I'm like honey when we do become

1:08:02

parents our one job is to just make sure our kids are

1:08:04

dicks That's all you don't be this we don't Listen

1:08:08

I I know that obviously, you

1:08:10

know the kids who stars on the show But

1:08:12

I want you to know as a woman watching

1:08:14

the show I said out loud to myself I

1:08:17

hope I can be one tenth of the moms that

1:08:19

y'all are and I don't say that just like well

1:08:21

smoke up your ass I really mean it like it

1:08:23

was such a mental check to me to say wow

1:08:26

Look at how these women are just I mean you

1:08:29

still have to you know, be a good wife You still

1:08:31

have to take care of your other kids work a full-time job. We can

1:08:33

do it all They

1:08:36

really do it. What do you do outside

1:08:38

of being a mom? What do you

1:08:40

do to kind of take care of yourselves? You

1:08:42

go. Okay. Well, I was a nurse formerly

1:08:44

I actually Let my nursing career kind of

1:08:46

go to the side when Tanner got diagnosed

1:08:48

because at that time our his younger sister

1:08:50

was a baby And it was just too

1:08:52

much right trying to run a full-time therapy

1:08:54

program work full-time as a nurse have two

1:08:57

little girls too And so the

1:08:59

way our family worked it was just better for me.

1:09:01

So I've always been a kind of a fitness chunky

1:09:03

Yeah, I do a lot of rip. I know you're

1:09:05

both very Yeah, I do a

1:09:07

lot I've taught fitness classes and been

1:09:09

really involved in the first training and all that kind

1:09:11

of separate years That was sort of my that

1:09:14

was my I'm not mom. Yeah,

1:09:16

not just Mark's wife This is

1:09:18

my thing is my thing and I had my

1:09:20

own set of friends and it was separate from

1:09:22

the family So that's always been my thing and

1:09:24

then just girlfriends. I have great sisters, right? I

1:09:26

love to read I love to be

1:09:29

outside. We're big water people. Yeah. Yeah, we're

1:09:31

going to Cancun Get

1:09:33

ready for that. Amen. What do you do? Well,

1:09:35

it's funny I don't I'm not into

1:09:37

the gym at all. My husband loves the gym. I would

1:09:39

I'm with you if I'm running, please run

1:09:49

I don't like to do anything

1:09:51

gym wise. I have some really

1:09:53

good girlfriends. I my husband

1:09:56

We we do enjoy being outside in

1:09:58

nature. We get to go out We

1:10:00

have a boat, we go on the lake,

1:10:02

we do things like that. And then again,

1:10:04

girlfriends, I do love the theater, travel, if

1:10:07

I get the chance. So just anytime to get

1:10:10

decompressed with friends and hang out, I'm

1:10:12

in for anything family. But I'm not into

1:10:14

gym, I don't like to read, I'm going to

1:10:16

watch the movie. I want to get an audible, it's fine.

1:10:20

I've just got too much stuff pointing right in my mind. You

1:10:22

made me a hair cutters voice, but you put a book

1:10:24

on tape or something, or book on tape, God, how

1:10:26

old am I? No, I'm right there with you. But anyway.

1:10:29

You find time to take care of yourself and do

1:10:31

your thing. I love shopping nails. And

1:10:34

that is so important too. I am that girl. When

1:10:36

you have a session with a child, I think it's easy to get lost. You

1:10:38

know what I mean? And that is your whole identity. Being

1:10:40

a session with these moms. And Tanner lives with a couple

1:10:43

other guys. He does. And Connor lives

1:10:45

at home. But is it one of those things that

1:10:47

as they're getting older, you're like, oh, they're going to

1:10:49

be at home forever. That's what I...

1:10:51

Yeah. If you had told me when Tanner

1:10:53

was 15 that he would go to Clemson

1:10:55

and complete that program and then choose to

1:10:57

stay and live independently with

1:10:59

roommates, I would have laughed you out of the room. That's

1:11:02

not possible. There's no way. We'll never

1:11:04

function away from us. The hell is doing it?

1:11:06

I mean, but it's... I mean, he's not dogs.

1:11:08

Everybody loves him. He's cool for 20 minutes. However, cold

1:11:11

hot dogs, but we're doing it. I do say

1:11:13

Connor lives with

1:11:16

me, but I want to say, and I will say

1:11:19

this to everybody in my family if you're listening, Connor's

1:11:21

the strongest teammate we've got. In your house? Yeah, I'm

1:11:23

sure. He is on top of the dog feeding. Yeah.

1:11:26

He's like, I'm going to crash. Yeah. Cooking,

1:11:28

making sure there's groceries. That boy is

1:11:30

the rock of the family. That will always do

1:11:32

it. I'm ready to get Connor. He wanted to throw somebody under the

1:11:34

bus for coming home and having to pick up a

1:11:36

mess. I wasn't thinking about it. He

1:11:39

was thinking about it. Right.

1:11:41

You know what I see for Connor? Connor doesn't drive.

1:11:43

We live in Metro Atlanta. It's nuts. It

1:11:46

is. I don't want to drive. Scares me

1:11:48

to death. It is different here. We make a long story short.

1:11:50

We have options for him, but I do feel like... I think

1:11:52

our best case scenario, and this is why I love my husband

1:11:54

and when he met me, first thing when

1:11:56

we met, I was very upfront. I have

1:11:58

this situation. Right. to me is like,

1:12:01

I'm in, I'm in, he can save me for

1:12:03

life. And one thing I think

1:12:05

my dream, my dream would be we can't do it

1:12:07

now, is to build like a little guest house. Yeah,

1:12:09

yeah. Off of the house, like we can't do this

1:12:11

now. And this is my, this is my goal. And

1:12:14

have him have his own space. But like he's across

1:12:16

the driveway. Yeah, that will probably ultimately be what we'll

1:12:18

do too. Because I doubt Clemson will last forever. Right.

1:12:20

You know what I mean? Like, and eventually we're going

1:12:22

to want him and we're very rooted rural South Carolina,

1:12:24

my husband's a farmer, you know, but that would be

1:12:27

the ideal scenario. Right there, right there. Listen, I live

1:12:29

with my mother currently. I say I basically have a

1:12:31

toddler people like when are you gonna have kids? I'm

1:12:33

like, I have a semi-aged one who is asking me

1:12:35

what's for dinner? What's for lunch? Where are we going?

1:12:38

What are we doing? Pick up your things. So I

1:12:40

also say to my goal is to be able to

1:12:42

build a guest house for my mother. Well, so I

1:12:44

get it. We're all taking care of somebody. We all have

1:12:46

someone that needs to go to the guest. Yeah, we all

1:12:48

have someone who needs to go to the guest house. We

1:12:51

love them. We want them close by. Close, but

1:12:53

not that close. Not that close. I just want

1:12:55

to say from the bottom of my heart, thank

1:12:57

you for coming. Thank you for sharing your story.

1:12:59

And thank you for doing it on a public

1:13:01

platform as well. And I think that what y'all

1:13:03

are doing on the show is incredible. And I

1:13:05

just I love to champion other women who are

1:13:07

doing it the most. And y'all do not get

1:13:09

enough credit for what you're doing. And you've raised

1:13:12

two beautiful boys who just could not have been

1:13:14

more wonderful and charismatic. And I just want you

1:13:16

to pat yourselves on the back because I know

1:13:18

you guys do a lot. But this was a

1:13:20

really refreshing conversation. And I think for my

1:13:22

listeners too, it'll be a refreshing conversation. People

1:13:24

never know what people are going through. Right.

1:13:26

And I have really been trying to remind

1:13:28

myself, put yourself in somebody else's shoes. And

1:13:30

what can you learn from somebody else? And

1:13:32

I think that they're already banging on the

1:13:35

wall next to us. They're calling, they're banging.

1:13:37

They're calling, they're banging. Yeah, you're done with that.

1:13:39

This is an absolutely not production. But

1:13:41

thank you for being here and thank you for sharing

1:13:43

your story. Thank you for having me.

1:13:48

Thanks so much for listening to today's

1:13:50

episode. Don't forget to subscribe, write us

1:13:52

a little review. And as always, follow

1:13:54

me on Instagram at Heather Kay McMahon.

1:13:57

See you guys soon. Please

1:14:24

note that this episode may contain paid

1:14:26

endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

1:14:29

Individuals on the show may have a

1:14:31

direct or indirect financial interest in products

1:14:33

or services referred to in this episode.