Episode Transcript
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0:01
This is exactly right. Adults
0:06
in is hard, but it doesn't have to be impossible.
0:08
If you want to hear more about ways you can
0:11
actually live your best life, check out how to be
0:13
a better human. Each week comedian Chris stuff he
0:15
sits down with an expert to talk about the
0:17
realistic enough an unexpected ways you could improve your
0:19
life. This. Season on how to be a better
0:21
human. Learn how thinking about death can actually make
0:24
your life happier. Why? It's never too late to
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make a change and more? fine? How to. Be. A
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Better Human. Wherever you get your bike, Oh.
0:32
On. Wall. Comes Middleton. I
0:34
just wasn't sure that everybody has
0:36
heard of their taxes. Oh, My
0:38
God. First of all I'm saying so this
0:40
Jordan Carlos your common in hot. You're.
0:42
Coming in like the h our block
0:44
accountant is. Really?
0:46
Of the fuckin week and instead of like
0:49
actual tax receipts you just want like emotional
0:51
receipts you like how we feel n. What's
0:54
going on? Give me your and voices like
0:56
I can go. I can see you
0:58
as the guy the office who's just high five in a
1:00
lot and. Has like personal handshakes with people.
1:02
excuse me you know I'm the personality higher
1:04
guy is your A Am? I have soft
1:06
skills. You think I can do an Excel
1:09
spreadsheet? Absolutely not. but I look like a
1:11
limited my glasses on. Oh my God. Here
1:13
we go. Isn't.
1:30
What I learned about like even getting
1:32
glasses watching him. yes, onstage. You gotta
1:35
wipe the fingerprints off. Oh yeah, and
1:37
they can on steam up. I. Learned
1:39
a lot of glasses etiquette through you.
1:42
Yes, You have to wipe
1:44
them daily. They can seem up
1:46
winters tough for the glass bespectacled
1:48
people You probably if you're single
1:50
and glasses most likely you will
1:52
not date other people. have your
1:54
own. Race: I'm that's
1:56
other people glasses. have you ever kissed
1:59
somebody with glasses on and then you had glasses on? I
2:02
have. It's like people bumping into each
2:04
other in a biology lab. It's really
2:06
not good. It's not sexy at all.
2:09
It just sounds like, it just makes the sound like,
2:11
Warby Parker, every time you try
2:13
to get in there. Eat, or eat, or eat,
2:16
or eat. It's so bad. It's so bad. And
2:18
then I have clear glasses and
2:20
I take them off and put them down.
2:23
Can't find them ever. It's just
2:25
really, it's so bad. Oh my
2:27
God, right. You need like rainbow
2:29
frames or something. Yeah. You know, when
2:31
I travel and I see black people,
2:34
especially black women with freckles, we always look at
2:36
each other. It is an emotional high five with
2:38
our eyes. It's like,
2:41
I see you. I see you. I see you as a
2:43
dermatologist every year. It says, okay, go, go, go, go, go,
2:45
go, go. Because it's just like a thing.
2:47
Like, it's a wonderful thing that like, not everybody has
2:49
a comment. Now, do you ever run into when you
2:51
are traveling a nerdy black man with glasses?
2:53
And you're just like, ah. Of course,
2:55
yeah. We see each other. I
2:58
mean, it feels like, oh,
3:00
another black inventor. You know what I'm saying?
3:02
Just get that kind of like feeling like,
3:05
oh, it's Lewis Latimer or like, you know.
3:07
Jingle jingle. Jingle jingle. Shit.
3:11
We're in the key, in Michael Key Society. What the
3:13
fuck? Always. Yes, I
3:16
feel like approachable black guy
3:18
who cannot stop moving. Yeah,
3:20
society. Oh my God, the energy on
3:22
that one. If I'm ever gonna go
3:24
to a Zumba class taught by a black man, it better
3:26
be King and Michael Key
3:29
because he's got the move
3:31
like Jagger. He's always enthusiastic.
3:33
Like more than just like him. Yeah,
3:36
yeah. So enthusiastic. And I really loved King
3:38
Peele and I miss King Peele and I
3:40
do miss like good sketch. And
3:42
I do love what Robin Thede did. Like, you
3:44
know, it's very hard
3:46
to get black women on TV. And so it's
3:48
like. She did for five seasons. She's amazing
3:51
and some good ass community. Speaking of
3:53
good community, you know she loves a
3:55
little jump off. Our guests. You
3:57
love a pivot. I do. the
4:00
Ryan Seacrest in me. Our
4:03
guest for this episode. Yeah, she
4:05
plays my roommate in Survival
4:08
of the Fickest season one. She's
4:10
amazing. She's a longtime friend in
4:12
comedy. Yes. She's part of the comedy community.
4:14
Again, can't say enough about
4:16
her character Jade and
4:19
her top titty meat. Please,
4:21
everybody enjoy this episode with...
4:24
The Trigger! I'm
4:31
not even a dancer, stop! I love you,
4:47
it's a beautiful... Is that a limp? Joy,
4:49
bitch. Oh, I just give
4:51
him my heels. I'm waiting
5:00
for the finger to pop out. I'm
5:03
waiting for... I could easily like kick back
5:05
a soccer ball. Pop to
5:07
that guy, no problem. Oh
5:10
my god, you know what I love too is that my kids love
5:12
to dance. It's so important. They do? Yeah, I
5:15
just put on like reggae music or you
5:18
know, Kumpa Kult Haitian music. Oh wow.
5:20
Yeah. What does Otis do? Do you see do like
5:22
the light foot? Like what does he do? The hot
5:24
foot? What is that called? I
5:26
don't know what it's called because... Heel toe. Oh,
5:29
are you talking about Jamaican dances? Yeah, yeah,
5:31
that kind of shit. I don't know. I
5:33
don't know the difference. Oh my goodness. We
5:36
don't know much. Did you grow up line
5:38
dancing? You just had to... You were just
5:40
like no feelings. Yeah, yeah. There's
5:42
some of that. There's stiff denim cowboy
5:44
boots. Oh yeah. We had pecos, things
5:46
like that. Pecos West Wing boots. Yeah.
5:49
Was it like Footloose but with black
5:51
people? There
5:55
is the MLK Day rodeo which is a
5:57
beautiful thing. It's a black rodeo
5:59
because we invented But then like, you
6:01
know, I mean, we're like, why do you guys
6:03
get quiet? I don't understand. They're learning. They're taking
6:05
it in. What's happening? Because
6:08
there's like one person from Dallas
6:10
that she's tired of screaming. I know.
6:13
She can't keep screaming every time she drops
6:15
something with them about Texas. Yeah. It's
6:18
wild. It's wild. You'll pick
6:20
it. One in four cowboys back in the day were
6:22
black. The term cowboy comes from the fact
6:24
that boy was a slur for
6:27
black men, so black men working with cows
6:29
were called. Thank you.
6:31
Welcome to my TED Talk. Aww. All right. That
6:34
was so nice. We did it. So yeah.
6:37
That was really nice. Yeah. You really connected
6:39
with everyone. I know. They're
6:41
like, talk about behalf guys. Yeah. and
6:47
repeat that story. Oh, sure. No, it's true.
6:50
No, it's all good. It's all good. I
6:52
love it. I love the little funny. No, I love
6:54
my little Elroy Jetson glasses. No,
6:57
it's any black history. And I love
6:59
his little Texas saying, because I'm like, what
7:01
the fuck is that? We were in a
7:03
meeting one time, and everyone was just
7:05
talking a lot of shit. I didn't know what
7:07
they were saying. It was circles. When people talk in circles,
7:09
they want to hear themselves talk. They never have anything to
7:12
say. I just wait for something that I can hold on
7:14
to. It's like arguing
7:16
with a drunk person. I'm like, where is this going? And
7:18
then Jordan just goes, it feels like everyone's just
7:20
biting around a cookie. And I was like, what?
7:23
I did say that earlier. I
7:26
heard you say it. Yeah. Eating around
7:28
the cookie just means you're not getting to it. You
7:30
know what I'm saying? That's like it. You're all, you
7:32
know, you're all hat and no horse. Like
7:34
you just. No
7:39
shit. I'm like, what is that
7:41
guy? What are we talking about? No, it's just,
7:43
these are just parluses that come to you. Yeah.
7:45
I love that for you. Yeah. What's
7:48
the thing? What's that thing you
7:50
said at that little public school meeting?
7:53
Oh, yeah. I said it. So it was like
7:55
this, this guy was trying to push through a
7:57
curriculum and it was not cool. And so. He
8:00
was like, oh, nobody's going to work for the old curriculum. And
8:02
so I was like, man, you're trying to ride two horses with
8:04
one ass right there. And that's
8:08
one dog that ain't going to hunt. But in
8:11
front of all the teachers. In front of all
8:13
the teachers. And he
8:15
was like, I'm just trying to process what you
8:17
said. I'm like, fuck off.
8:19
You know, like, I feel like
8:21
a southern parlance can really cut
8:23
to the chase. Northern parlenses
8:25
are good. I had
8:27
to learn northern parlenses. Northern parlenses are tough. You
8:29
know, like, it's like, what? You go to a
8:31
deli. Yeah. You make you get your order. Some
8:33
of behind you is like, did you already order?
8:36
And you're like, I'm all set. Well,
8:38
the first time somebody said like, are you all set? I was like, what?
8:42
Like you all said just means I had never heard
8:45
that before. So hearing that. I didn't realize that was
8:47
a thing. Yeah, yeah. We don't say that down south.
8:49
OK. Yeah, yeah. So it's like you all
8:51
said, you know, that that's for me. And
8:53
that's you got you got this. I love
8:56
that. Yeah, I love that one. Yeah. OK.
9:00
You good. Not everybody. You
9:02
could. That's not we don't say that down south.
9:04
That you should. It's very easy. The guns come
9:06
out. Um,
9:09
you good. You good. You good.
9:13
Yeah, absolutely. Never, never. What's
9:16
not saying, Ohio? Y'all say anything to
9:18
each other. It's more to myself. It's
9:20
a lot of the stuff that he's saying, but with less
9:22
horses and cowboy hats. Oh, I've
9:26
been to Ohio, but I don't remember. Yeah,
9:28
it's pretty similar to Texas in its
9:30
parlance. Is it? Yeah,
9:33
because people from Ohio have come from the south. That's
9:35
where they came from. They came from New York. Make
9:39
some noise if you're from West Coast. Oh,
9:44
lots of bitches standing. Make
9:48
some noise if you're from the middle. We're
9:52
in the middle. Iowa.
9:54
Iowa shit. So glad you got out.
9:57
That is like white Wakanda. That is
9:59
where. That's
10:01
where they come from. Oh my
10:05
God. If your car breaks down in
10:07
Iowa, there's no landmark. You
10:09
guys must have been really happy for GPS. Not
10:12
white, Wakanda. I know. You just make a left
10:14
on unpaid road. I'm like, oh, what?
10:16
And the children of the corn is
10:18
going to work right now. It's true.
10:20
Anybody else from the middle? Indiana,
10:24
that's worse. Oh my God. Yeah, that is
10:26
sad. Indiana, worse. You're from the Bronx? No,
10:29
we knew that. Oh, okay. God knew that. We knew that.
10:32
The Bronx always... See that's right.
10:34
See that's right. The Bronx always...
10:36
What? What? 17
10:39
bridges from Canada. It is so crazy. The
10:42
Bronx is always front row and they always
10:44
talk. They're like, yeah, what you said, Mama?
10:46
Okay. You got it. You got it. I
10:49
love it. I love it.
10:51
I love Brooklyn and I love the Bronx. I
10:53
just love a community like... Yes. I
10:56
do. My...
10:58
Sorry. My brother-in-law came to
11:01
visit us... Okay. ...for
11:04
editing purposes. And I
11:06
took him to Dumbo House. Oh.
11:08
Because I was like, you just need to say bougie
11:11
black bullshit, okay? Let's go.
11:14
And he was just like, wow, it's so much...
11:16
And I was like, what? He's like, community. That's
11:18
it. Okay, that's good. It's
11:21
very... What you want to say? It's
11:24
cultural. I've heard that one before. Yeah,
11:26
yeah, yeah. The culture. It's very cultural
11:28
in here, you know. Oh my God.
11:30
These ethnic spices, please shut the fuck
11:33
up today. In
11:35
Dutch? I don't know if you all saw
11:37
my special, but truly, the Dutch word for
11:39
look is keik. No. K-I-J-K.
11:42
It's keik. And so the first time
11:44
I ever heard my mother-in-law named Hanukkah...
11:46
...say this
11:54
word. We were taking a family picture and she's
11:56
like, cut the camera! And
12:00
I was like, Hanukkah, fix it! That's
12:04
a real ad story. And no
12:07
one in Holland has ever fucking heard of this. So
12:09
when I did that joke, it was special. Welcome
12:11
to Butopia, available on Netflix right now. Critics
12:15
Choice Award winning special. It
12:19
made it to like the Dutch late
12:21
night news. Like Danny Shoe and Jimmy...
12:24
Basic white men named Jimmy late night shows. They're
12:29
definitely not editing that out. They
12:31
could know that. They know already. But
12:37
yeah, they were like, oh my goodness, comedian breaks
12:39
up a good point. I'm
12:41
like, you fucking sick! They
12:44
never heard of that. No, because this
12:46
is what happens when you trust men. Right.
12:51
Anyways, you guys ready for more show? Ready
12:53
for more show? Are
12:55
you ready? I'm so excited. She
12:58
is amazing. She is
13:00
a hilarious comedian, also going on tour.
13:03
Check her the fuck out. She also has a
13:05
hilarious part in a very fun show, Survival
13:08
of the Sick. She
13:11
played a kooky fucking roommate named
13:14
Jade. Who
13:16
had a cat named Coquette? Who had a cat
13:18
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Are. In
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New York And Sara? Yes, we
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have. We let me know what
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you need. Is
16:54
I was. Expecting sitting on I saw this
16:56
as a bad like that that not know
16:58
what you got all the subsidy me neither
17:00
The good sam. Exactly
17:02
I agree. I
17:05
ruin the whole energy. I'm so sorry.
17:07
About our chairs are better than yours
17:09
and that's not. How
17:12
on your friend? Until I then I'm
17:15
feeling that as hill really op eds
17:17
is, this is that New York. For
17:19
my last. Thing to the
17:21
right thing and I just. Am
17:23
so it's know that and so happy I
17:26
don't know what else to say Adderall as
17:28
to be clever make you laugh by either
17:30
some feeling I have first of all your
17:32
hilarious and says i don't know which one
17:34
comes from. I guess as simple.
17:37
As I said, he won. The
17:40
Me: you've been out know by hill? Yeah, no
17:42
I did. Sinbad Roughly where someone to have this.
17:44
I mean I went. You don't do that. The
17:46
addressing on his lap. As I. Said
17:49
he was really embarrassed. but you can't You
17:51
can't have white sauce. On her lips a thaw.
17:55
Others by he he felt that.
18:00
Is this a friend of yours or just a
18:02
stranger? I'm a colleague, I would say a colleague.
18:04
A colleague? It's important. I started
18:06
switching my vocabulary because I have
18:08
a friend who always says, oh, that's my friend, and
18:10
then you learn, oh, that's actually not
18:12
your friend, that's an acquaintance, and I don't trust
18:15
you anymore. So now I've been very clear where
18:17
you stand in my life. Whoa. Okay.
18:21
Because she's like, oh, my friend works there. I'm like, well,
18:23
can your friend get us in? And she's
18:25
like, well, I feel weird messaging. I'm like, that's not your friend then. Change
18:28
the category. That's
18:31
a person. You hear that? Everybody change
18:33
your guidance category. Change the category. Turn to your
18:35
right to the person that you came with. Or
18:38
I say friendly. Oh, no, we're
18:40
friendly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're friendly.
18:42
Yeah, totally. Or I like them, but
18:45
if I can't ask you whatever
18:47
I want, you're not my friend.
18:49
Yeah. You're co-people. Yeah, I
18:51
get that. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah. So
18:54
many questions, three of them. You answer whichever one you
18:57
want first. Okay. Dating, I
18:59
want to get to it because we try to
19:01
get to dating when we were on the show.
19:03
We were working on my show. We were miked.
19:06
I asked you how
19:08
dating was and what type of person you're dating.
19:10
And you said the most hilarious thing might. I
19:13
don't know if I can't repeat it. What did
19:15
I say? It was about the difference between
19:17
men and women. What did
19:19
I say? I can't wait. Can I tell
19:21
you? Yeah. Are you
19:24
dating women still? And
19:26
you're like, I want to, but I miss
19:28
come too much. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like
19:30
a funny... Yeah, yeah, yeah. But
19:33
the best part is that we're all miked, so I
19:35
see everyone. No. No. No.
19:39
No. It was the best. It was the
19:41
best. I would be
19:43
so good on Real Housewives. I would ruin a
19:46
family. Yeah. It was the best. It was the
19:48
best. I would really hot mic moment. I
19:50
would like to just be dating anyone. I'm really
19:53
like... Stop. I'm stopped. I'm
19:55
stunted. I don't know what to do. Okay.
19:58
You didn't ask... then you
20:00
stopped on the cum question ad and
20:03
gave me not one other option. What
20:06
are the other two? I gotta- The other one was, why does
20:08
it feel like getting cummed on so degrading and I like
20:11
it? Like
20:13
on your body or your face? Okay, it's
20:15
my body, my body, my tits. I have really good
20:17
tits, I have really good tits and it's like a
20:19
waste not to cum on them, I think. Yeah. Yeah.
20:23
These are your words and any
20:25
of you. I agree,
20:27
I 100% agree. Like use it
20:29
as a little vagina too, do whatever you gotta do with
20:31
that. Sometimes it is
20:33
hard for someone to- Aim.
20:39
Aim. Climb the salmon ladder,
20:41
so to speak. Up to someone. The
20:43
salmon? I
20:46
guess you're not that athletic. I'm
20:50
not and that's why my wife
20:52
loves me. But- Aim. It
20:54
was that story. The other one was, are
20:56
you internet dating? What is that like? Is
20:58
that crazy? And the third thing was, the
21:01
last time you did the show was
21:03
like 2017, 18 when we weren't even on podcasts, we
21:05
were just a show in Union Hall. And
21:08
you told this crazy fucking story about
21:10
getting arrested or almost getting arrested. Yeah,
21:12
yeah, yeah. And I was like, have you?
21:15
And so I just wanted to know, has
21:18
there been any run-ins with the law, especially
21:20
in LA, I feel like they like to
21:22
fuck with you. No,
21:24
I've been behaving very well all over
21:26
this country. I
21:28
will fly out of the country
21:31
with maybe drugs, but
21:36
in terms of behaving, I've not had any
21:38
run-ins with the law. Yeah,
21:40
none at all. I've been really behaved. It
21:42
was under the age of 21, which
21:45
I feel doesn't count. You know what I mean?
21:47
Sure. Cause you're
21:49
just drinking being crazy, but if you're underage,
21:51
that's a crime, but it's like, come
21:54
on, you know what I mean? Like I'm gonna
21:56
get drunk at 19 and
21:58
punch through a fire extinguisher glass. like
22:01
I don't know I did I'm more powerful
22:03
than you would think yeah was there
22:07
fire no
22:09
I like
22:11
water for chocolate just so many I just the
22:17
fire within her
22:19
body no it's
22:22
a book it's a story it's always
22:24
about the half-lexus so that nobody understands
22:26
anyways well there's one reader
22:29
in the body it was like two people were from the
22:31
90s it got turned into a movie and then
22:34
it was like I remember once like
22:36
she's having sex and I remember this so well
22:39
it's like I was like have water for or
22:41
whatever chocolate is like let me see this I
22:43
heard there's sex in it you know cuz back
22:45
then you'd have to like search like through the
22:47
desert for sex and and
22:49
so I'm like there's a part like she gets it
22:52
on and it's like she gets wet but it's all
22:54
it's um it's magical realism because it's Mexican so
22:58
yeah it's magical realism and so she's so
23:00
wet she floods
23:06
the entire kitchen and I was like is that
23:08
sex oh my god I don't know if I
23:12
want any part of this so
23:15
that's what she meant yeah you should see the movie yeah they
23:17
also I remember someone in school saying Sophie's
23:19
choice was a bunch of sex and even
23:22
if that like it doesn't
23:24
seem worth it you know but I
23:27
remember that was like the gossip and trickery
23:29
of the playground yeah
23:31
12 years of slave I watched
23:33
it for the music okay well
23:35
I kid you don't know what
23:37
you're getting yourself into you're like yeah
23:39
I'll get it I remember that visit thing
23:41
yeah can I have to hold I'm
23:43
36 I love this a I did you I'm
23:46
excited yeah what are you um
23:50
well I've been repeating the same
23:53
mistakes for about 24 years so so now I think
24:00
I'm finally ready to rid those
24:02
habits. Yeah, that have been serving
24:04
me. I just met
24:06
with a new therapist yesterday
24:08
that she specializes in immigrant
24:10
generational trauma. Oh shit.
24:13
Yeah, so I'm gonna get through my
24:15
weird hoarding and thinking there's a war,
24:17
but there could be soon. But yeah.
24:19
Yeah. So that's what,
24:21
I think there's more excitement moving. I
24:25
have come unique, I've just learned a
24:27
lot and I finally realized that I
24:29
have to nip some of these habits
24:31
and I'm gonna do it with this therapist hopefully.
24:34
Her name's Violet though, which makes me not trust
24:36
her. You know? You
24:40
don't trust me. Violet's
24:42
an immature name. I
24:45
mean, Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck's
24:48
daughter named Violet, I wouldn't go
24:50
to her for Sarah Blower. Hey. Oh,
24:52
ah! Have
24:56
you met Jennifer Garner? No, I
24:58
haven't. She seems very nice. I like her
25:00
jaw. Yeah, absolutely.
25:03
Yeah, she's got a strong jaw and she's got a
25:05
good sense about it. She does a lot of squats.
25:08
Oh, no, she works out every single day. Yeah,
25:10
I don't know about that. No, I
25:12
do. I heard about it. No, no, for me.
25:14
Oh yeah. I don't know about that for me every day.
25:16
Like, you know, I feel like life
25:20
is, that's enough. Yeah, you have
25:22
to, you're picking up kids. Yeah, you're doing a
25:24
lot. You are very, you're very busy. And
25:26
I'm very physically active all day, you know?
25:28
Yeah. Like, I got two dogs, two
25:30
kids, two titties. It's an emotional nose art. Yeah,
25:35
you've been to the meatball party. You fucking get it. Oh
25:37
yeah, you have a lot of land and, but
25:40
I don't think you do it, right? Yeah, no, I got a
25:42
lot of land. The house, Negro, dumb, bought the house. But
25:45
I don't, I think Jordan should speak next.
25:50
I'm listening. I'm not following
25:52
that. I picked my moments. It's
25:55
about you. You've moved to, can We
25:58
say, like the Village? The Village
26:00
because they might the neighbor of
26:02
mine. Your Journey: A.com Carbon monoxide
26:04
poisoning tonight so that that. Isn't
26:06
it happened? I. Also last time I lived
26:09
here I had a building and super climb into my
26:11
bedroom window on a ladder and he thought. I mean.
26:14
Yes the by it wasn't a prime because
26:16
they deserve offer videotape. Remember
26:19
that? Yeah, that's not
26:21
her his revolver and
26:23
so either. A tacit different as
26:26
the wilde said. Happy to be all
26:28
over the city and now I'm mad
26:30
have exposed brick in own. Work
26:33
another for yeah yeah, those break
26:35
down and free as. Long
26:37
as this as easy as it may I said.
26:39
He was over and over. a man don't know know. It
26:42
is wild a really immigrant his own of
26:44
living in New York are being led an
26:46
artist live in or truth is it like
26:48
they don't get it has. When I was
26:50
young I lived in of my friends pantries.
26:52
That comedy in Chicago has saunter all and
26:54
my parents. Wouldn't even visit the up with a like
26:56
how. We. Have a whole why would
26:58
you sleep anniversary and so they're really disgusted that
27:01
I have a radiator that they're like they don't
27:03
understand that my parents have the same way and
27:05
after kids they're from Jamaica in Haiti after. Remind
27:07
them that. You. Were
27:09
brave enough and crazy enough to leave
27:11
Everything and everyone you need. To.
27:14
Go find another life isn't even know. That
27:16
to me that he doesn't work out here to second hand to
27:18
do this any. The. In me.
27:21
Taking a chance on me because I had
27:23
some zoo visitors from you. And. So
27:25
there's a sled. please keep another.is supposed Ss.
27:27
So I work. I did overnight joy or
27:30
editing the news for six years while I
27:32
was doing stand up. You know to me
27:34
and Co when you wish for yourself, what
27:36
do you really want and wish for yourself
27:39
This year next year, the thirty six year
27:41
olds is. Figuring it out.
27:44
Doing. It in New York City you figured a lot of
27:46
stuff. Out a run for your hair or
27:48
you have to answer your. It's
27:51
it's. a lot. But my life so the of at
27:53
my go see a my apartment so play for a
27:55
second hosts people doing all the games. Before I. Go.
27:58
out said like arms to be able to have
28:00
like I'm a, you know, like, oh, stop by,
28:02
I'll host. Um, energy. I
28:05
would like to be getting, fucked
28:07
her in love more often. I'd
28:09
like to be seeing more celebrities. Fucked her
28:11
in love, like, fucked both of them in you love
28:13
or just fucked? Good sex,
28:16
yeah. Like, good sex. It
28:19
could be loose, it doesn't have to be
28:21
love, but I would like love. Yeah, yeah.
28:23
The things you clap at are interesting, and
28:25
I like that. Ooh. It's
28:27
a Bronx, baby. You
28:30
really liked her working overnight at the
28:32
office. You did, you clapped at that. They're
28:35
both in news, they're in news. And then
28:37
you really like good sex and working hard all
28:39
night. And that's, no,
28:43
professionally, I just wanna keep working, having fun,
28:45
just enjoying myself. Be more celebrities, I think
28:47
is what you want. Walking. 10,000
28:50
steps, I'd like to get all my steps in.
28:53
Yeah. You know, not, yeah.
28:56
Not smoke weed every day all day. I
28:58
think that should be a top, but I
29:00
don't wanna make a goal I'm gonna fail at, so.
29:03
Oh, I managed to take the bill.
29:06
Oh, and I'm going to the Airies Tour November 21st.
29:09
So. I
29:12
like to get an outfit going, an outfit
29:14
going. I love this, okay, we're gonna ask
29:16
some questions from the audience, here we go.
29:19
How do you say no to
29:21
being in someone's bridal party? Well,
29:24
it depends what the reason is, right? Or you have
29:26
to make it up. Because if you don't
29:28
like the person, you don't wanna be their friend, that's different than
29:30
like, hey girl, I can't afford it, or I'm studying for the
29:32
bar. Like, I don't have time,
29:35
it's different than, oh, I
29:37
actually hate you, your family, your friends,
29:39
and I don't wanna be around you, and.
29:41
Oh, it's snitch. It's just different, why don't you
29:44
wanna be in it? You're poor or you hate her?
29:46
I mean, I think. Or maybe there's a third
29:48
reason, I'm not thinking. I think the third reason
29:50
for me. Oh. Would
29:54
be the emotional time commitment. Because
29:56
now you're gonna be someone's therapist for
29:58
that whole fucking ride. They're gonna
30:00
come to you with shit that you don't fucking have time
30:02
for you just want to show up to a party With
30:04
an open bar take some pictures and leave And
30:08
now you got to be in it like
30:10
oh the flowers. Okay, they're petals. Oh the
30:12
chairs everyone's sitting like nobody Really
30:15
gives a fuck inside. I feel like you know Asking
30:18
someone to be in your bridal party is really
30:20
asking them to be your therapist during a
30:22
stressful party They know I
30:24
guess how do you say no? Do you want the
30:26
person in your life still or not? I
30:29
mean obviously if they're close enough to be in
30:31
the bridal party, how do you think no? Hopefully
30:33
the bride is close enough to be like I
30:35
get it, but let's
30:37
not be delusional I Think
30:40
for me. I feel like I can't do this,
30:42
but I'll do this right like
30:44
I read a poem Yeah, like
30:47
I'll do a speech or you could do
30:49
it like it like ushering is good. You
30:51
remember. Oh shit. We need ushers so ushers
30:54
Oh, yeah, that seems like a thing. That's
30:56
in movies. That isn't real. What no no
30:58
I've had a wedding there were there were
31:00
as we stayed on south fursures and You
31:04
needed them you needed them you really did and they
31:06
usually need them yeah Yeah, the people all the people
31:08
in the wedding even because people were like where do
31:10
I go? I've never been in a church before it's
31:12
going people still get married Jesus Christ
31:16
I'm just kidding congratulations. Yeah Um
31:20
okay here we go how early is too early
31:22
to be on prescription acid reflux meds Okay
31:32
I Just
31:34
started suffering from acid reflux, and you know
31:36
what well they say like don't eat and
31:38
then go to bed And it's like okay. Let's be realistic
31:40
with the You're
31:43
not eating Taco Bell in the day I
31:51
Did do something crazy in New York? I bought
31:53
a temp repeating matrix with a base that moves
31:55
so I can oh Russia by And
31:58
I could sleep like this So, um,
32:01
it moved. Luxury. That
32:03
is the most adult thing I've ever heard.
32:07
That's amazing. What the f- dude, the
32:09
f-ing works. Yeah, oh my god. I
32:11
feel like I'll go out like, yeah, after
32:13
a long day of walking out, look up
32:15
my legs. It's really crazy. I want
32:18
one. Oh yeah, the guy told me, he goes, you don't
32:20
have to stack your pillows anymore. I go, you
32:22
got me. I go, you got me, you did
32:24
a good job, bro. Fuck, I have
32:27
so many pillows. But I think
32:29
it's not true. It's like, it sucks, because it
32:31
stops you from drinking, eating it. Like, it stops
32:33
you from joy, and... But I don't
32:35
know what the side effects are. Yeah. You
32:38
know. But I heard like, okay, so,
32:40
you know, people drink coffee, like the caffeine actually
32:42
loosens up the flap above the stomach, which gives
32:44
you acid reflux. That happens. But you can also
32:46
take like, aniseed or like, um, you know, what
32:49
do you call it? Het city. Licorice
32:51
is good after a drink. I hate licorice, but
32:53
I love coffee. Oh, yeah. Fuck. Yeah,
32:56
so, yeah, I mean... Why I can't drink like,
32:58
a margarita is just one sip of fire
33:00
between my titties. Or
33:02
ginger ale, like ginger, something like that, that can help you at
33:04
night. Like, just trying to help you have
33:07
this moment for yourself where you don't get prescription.
33:09
Just take the fucking pill and go have a
33:11
burrito. Like, whatever. It
33:14
just depends on the side effects. It really does.
33:16
What about side effects? You feel insomable? All
33:18
right. Like, would you rather have
33:20
acid reflux or diarrhea? The
33:23
age-old question. Yeah. What's
33:28
the next question? The next question
33:31
is, would you rather... Okay. No,
33:33
does the guy have to be taller than a girl?
33:38
I'm 5'9 and a girl. Oh,
33:42
I think it's all preference, but I
33:44
am hugging a tall man
33:46
feels different. And it's nice. Sorry.
33:49
Oh, shit. I'm
33:52
a J-Saw man, but I've hugged them because they're my...
33:54
Like, I hugged a writer on the show, Solomon George
33:56
Love. Yeah. I hugged him a few
33:58
weeks ago and I went, just... feels better.
34:00
It just felt
34:03
so nice. Like a temperpenic mattress
34:05
for a hug. Yeah. Got
34:08
that sweet number. But it doesn't matter.
34:12
Yeah, I think it's chemistry. And
34:14
sometimes it's really cool when you see a sexy
34:16
model and she has her arm on her boyfriend's
34:18
shoulder like that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I
34:21
like that. You
34:23
like that too? Yeah. The
34:26
Bronx Bay. I don't know. I
34:28
think it's all time to mine. It's
34:31
just the way they like, hold on me. Like,
34:33
get in there. Are you guys
34:36
talking about it? They have broke out in conversation. Finally.
34:40
Finally. We should normalize this
34:42
conversation. They're tall, but
34:44
they're not all tall. They're big boys, but not
34:47
in all the right places. Wait, the people at
34:49
the bar, I don't know if you heard, but
34:51
this said just because they're tall don't mean they got a
34:53
big dick. Yeah. And their knees hurt.
34:56
They grew too fast. OK,
34:58
now this sounds crazy. Now it's just this. But.
35:02
This is crazy. But listen. It
35:05
is a preference. It is what we sort of say. It is
35:08
a preference because some people are not
35:10
size queens. Some people don't need big dicks. Some
35:13
people do. Like, you know what I mean? So it's
35:15
like really a, what's the
35:17
question again? It's
35:20
I'm 5'9". Yeah, we were just talking
35:22
about this back to all the, most of
35:24
the actors were like, oh, they're so
35:27
hot. They're all short. They're all 5'5".
35:29
Like all the people we have cross-sustained. Tom
35:31
Hardy is short. The question was, the question
35:33
I tossed it, but the question was, should
35:36
I only strictly date people that are over
35:38
5'9", the person questioning was a woman who
35:40
is over 5'9", and wondered, should
35:42
she give, I guess, people under
35:44
5'9", a try? You
35:46
know, can he pay for your meal and go down on
35:48
you? That's the
35:51
question I would be asking. He's also closer
35:53
to your crotch. They
35:55
reached the things they proposed to. Yeah, win-win. Next
35:58
question. Look at us figuring it out. you guys
36:06
how do I introduce my partner to King how
36:10
do you introduce your partner to King how do
36:12
I introduce my partner to my King yeah she
36:16
said porn hub okay okay I
36:18
heard corn on the cob and
36:21
that's what I heard I was
36:23
like whoa what
36:29
is that introducing your partner
36:31
to King so I don't know how long you've
36:33
been together are y'all still talking about dick they've
36:36
broken into a smaller group they're
36:39
gonna have a forum and then they will decide there
36:42
will be a vote to be like we have voted
36:44
that the resolution has passed yes oh how do you
36:46
think what kind
36:55
of kink I mean if you want someone to
36:57
shut your chest don't tell anybody you know I
37:06
agree a
37:09
Cleveland steamer well
37:12
or you don't hate an escort you can
37:14
pay a dominatrix I
37:16
mean yeah can't be anything right all I'm
37:18
saying is your partner
37:23
should be a safe space okay so
37:26
whether it is over drinks or
37:28
whether it's in bed and you're whispering it just
37:32
say it and it's
37:34
okay just fucking say it okay
37:36
they're not into it or they judge you
37:38
then they're not the one for you and
37:41
that's the bigger question or they can you know you
37:43
can do it with someone else the
37:46
one weird thing you know what you
37:48
know what maybe sometimes plays an
37:50
atmosphere you know it
37:52
helps things along like if you were on vacation at
37:55
some sexy spot and you're like this is what I'm
37:57
really into this is what blows my half row puffs
37:59
back And that's
38:01
when you do it, you know, or you can go to
38:03
a sex party. So that way you're in the, yeah. What
38:06
is the love of your life says, I'm not into that.
38:08
Do you just leave them or what do you do? No,
38:10
I don't think you just leave them. Hey
38:15
y'all, Adulting is sponsored in part by BetterHelp.
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support our show and tell them we think you. This
41:21
question is wild. How do I go
41:23
into the men's sauna for the first time? Okay.
41:28
What are you looking for in the men's sauna? Did
41:31
you leave your sauna in there? Boldly,
41:35
boldly. I
41:37
mean, you've never been in a sauna? Okay,
41:39
go in. Check
41:41
it out. See if anybody else is naked. If
41:44
they're naked, get naked. Don't make eye contact. You
41:46
are so upset with the camera. I
41:48
like it. What do you mean? What are you looking for in a
41:50
sauna? I think it's maybe
41:52
the person has social anxiety. Sure.
41:54
You know, and so. Go out
41:56
off hours. Maybe the person who
41:58
did not write. this.
42:02
No, maybe had an Audi
42:04
back in the day. Back
42:07
in the day, would you have to be
42:09
removed then? I remember
42:12
my first sauna that was really that was
42:14
kind of like what's going on here Fisher
42:16
Price my first sauna. I
42:19
honestly thought I was gonna pass out and die in
42:21
there. Yeah, I hate it. I was actually in
42:23
Finland for a little bit. And they
42:26
love a sauna. It's their culture. It's
42:28
in their schools. It's in their homes.
42:30
They like can't get enough. Oh, but
42:32
they're so shy. They don't give compliments.
42:34
They're very reserved people, but they will
42:36
get butt naked with their families, co
42:39
workers, anybody. Yeah, and they just love
42:41
it's wild and they hit themselves with
42:43
the little grass. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The
42:46
spas in Holland or Amsterdam
42:48
are coed naked. And
42:51
I was like, babe, I feel like everyone's looking and he's
42:53
like, they are I'm like, I'm
42:55
a girl.
42:57
I want
43:00
to see like a stranger's dick off
43:02
hours, you know, like rest
43:04
at wrong. On
43:12
airplane mode. On a wedding. This dick is
43:15
no Wi Fi. Don't got a question. Don
43:17
read the question. Go for it. What you
43:19
got? Let us say airplane mode dick is
43:21
crazy. The question is, how do you
43:28
break the cycle of dating the same type
43:30
of person that's wrong for you? It's
43:33
like a day. It's a choice. One day you wake up, you
43:35
do. One day you wake
43:37
up, you're like, I'm tired of this fucking heartburn.
43:39
And I stopped drinking it like you have to
43:41
do it and get it out of your system.
43:43
Sometimes you're older. You look back, you're like, I've
43:46
wasted so much of my life, but now I'm
43:48
ready. But yeah, this is a
43:50
conversation I've had with people in my
43:53
family, like friends. They
43:55
don't go you don't go until you're ready to go. Or therapy.
44:00
Yeah. I heard them.
44:02
I heard them. And it's a lot of money. Lisa
44:05
has a question. Lisa, what you got? How
44:08
should a girl ask out girls? Something.
44:13
I'll take this one. I
44:15
forgot. It should
44:17
be done. And Henrietta Hudson. OK.
44:19
Probably how you would like it.
44:22
Yeah. How
44:24
do you ask out girls? I mean,
44:27
that's kind of always the hard thing, because
44:29
you're just shy. And
44:33
it's tough. Yeah,
44:35
it is tough. It's tough to ask anyone out.
44:37
I don't even know if it's
44:40
gender specific at all. I mean,
44:42
I don't know what kind of personality you have, but
44:46
you either just ask them out right
44:48
away, or some sort
44:50
of conversation, see if it gets
44:52
flirty, or like their story is over and
44:54
over again for years. Yeah.
44:59
I mean, how do you ask somebody else?
45:02
I don't know. I'm really into people that are up.
45:05
I admire that in people. People
45:07
that are overtly flirty and conducive. That's
45:09
like, I admire that. Thank you. You're
45:12
not flirty? No,
45:14
I'm so chatty, and then when I like someone, I'm
45:16
silent. And I
45:18
cannot even. I'll just bring them water.
45:20
I can't. That's
45:23
so cute. OK.
45:26
Bye, guys. Go ahead. All right. Here
45:28
we go. Dating as an adult, what
45:30
and how the fuck do we deal
45:32
with AI bots and lying ass men?
45:34
Question mark. You guys
45:37
are really going through it. Just
45:40
dating them, right? Yeah,
45:42
yeah, yeah. There's fences and shit, and there's
45:44
whole side families and shit, so I get
45:46
it. So I feel like
45:48
for internet dating, you
45:51
got two fucking chats, and then
45:54
let's get to a phone call or a fucking meet
45:56
up with coffee during the day. Like,
45:58
the fucking talking for week. You
46:01
got emails to get to. You
46:03
don't need another conversation. How long are you talking
46:05
to somebody on the internet before you see them?
46:07
Just shout it out. One
46:10
day, couple days. Good. Yeah, get
46:12
to it. New Yorkers are fucking... I don't have time for
46:14
this shit. I love it. Yeah,
46:17
I've talked to people who are like talking to someone for three
46:19
months for fucking what? Jordan would
46:21
say that's eating around the cookie. That is definitely around the
46:23
cookie. You guys just take a bite. You gotta get in
46:25
there. Yeah. Take a big chunk.
46:28
Yeah, if they're eating around the cookie, then they're
46:30
not eating around your cookie. I
46:35
also saw a thing on TikTok that
46:37
was like, you know, we're taught to
46:40
believe the apps are where
46:42
everyone is. And like, that's where
46:44
you need to be. But it's actually like a small
46:46
group of a small group. And there's
46:48
a whole actual world of people everywhere
46:51
that are not in the app. But
46:53
they make you think everyone's in there, but they're not.
46:56
And that's why the AI bots are even there. So
46:58
it's kind of like Carrie Bradshaw at the learning annex,
47:01
you know, like the men are out there. I
47:04
don't know that app.
47:07
That's a good episode. Yeah, OK. Last
47:09
question. At what point... That's a last already?
47:11
Well, I know they've been standing for like
47:13
two hours. I know. That's really cool. They're
47:16
well into their 30s. They are dying. At
47:21
what point do you cut off friendships? How many
47:23
chances are too many? Oh,
47:26
my God. I'm obsessed. You know, I'm really
47:28
passionate about this. So there is a friendship
47:30
expert. Her name is Dr. Byer-Dox. She will
47:32
not be a doctor. I might have added
47:34
that. Damn.
47:44
Honorary Dr. Byer-Dox. I love
47:46
Danielle Byer, Justin Daniel. She was incredible. She was
47:48
a high school English teacher. And
47:51
then she worked in PR and she
47:53
realized like dynamics of friendship and what's
47:55
going on. And she started focusing on
47:57
female friendships. And, you know, we focus
47:59
so much on that. much in romantic love, we
48:01
forget so much of our joy in life
48:03
is friendship and they make it
48:05
seem like it's easy. It should be easy
48:07
but it takes work like any other relationship
48:09
and so when you have a friendship issue
48:11
you think what's wrong with me but it's
48:14
like no you gotta like really work
48:16
on it and then I don't know I just had like
48:18
such an honest combo with a friend recently but I also
48:20
cut a friend out. I cut
48:22
a few friends out but one after 12 years and
48:24
then we just started talking again but it's like it's
48:26
something I think about all the time. She has a
48:29
book coming out I'm excited for it.
48:31
Oh shit. Do you
48:33
have a friend or the doctor? No
48:35
the doctor. The doctor.
48:38
The doctor. Because I always like put a great moment
48:40
to support your friend. You know. She
48:44
has a book coming out. No my friend we
48:46
you know we've decided to put things in
48:48
the past but this is what Danielle says.
48:51
She goes a real friend you should never
48:53
hesitate to tell them good news. So
48:56
if you can't tell your friend good news that's
48:58
really not a friend so you need to really
49:00
evaluate that. Another
49:04
thing she really focuses on is you
49:06
get to be your real self. You
49:09
can be yourself you're not on edge you're
49:11
not trying to perform you're like you
49:13
can cancel if you need to for whatever
49:15
reason you can be yourself with your friend
49:17
and those are like the two things I
49:19
look for now and if I have those
49:22
things then I will forgive I will work
49:24
let's talk yeah but if I'm not myself
49:26
and you're not happy for me yeah I'm
49:28
out yeah yeah oh
49:30
my god Lisa. I focused a lot about
49:32
this because this long-term friendship was like it
49:34
was fucked for a while and it was
49:37
so hard to get out and then find
49:39
it you know I worked I really liked
49:41
this woman yeah she helped me a
49:43
lot sometimes when you're friends with someone for a long
49:45
time like you were friends with them because of
49:48
reasons that like just don't make sense anymore
49:50
like you know like yeah
49:53
they they had duck hunt at their
49:55
house and then you
49:57
didn't have duck hunt so you you know they're
49:59
like They became your friend. You know what I'm
50:01
saying? Like, that's what it was. And now you're
50:03
just like, what the fuck? Like, I don't even like that kind of
50:06
thing. Well, that's another thing she says. You know,
50:08
we really like admire long-term friendships. How
50:10
do you know they're healthy? Like, you could be
50:13
friends with someone for 25 years and it's
50:15
like a fucked up cycle and there's nothing to admire.
50:17
Or, you know, even though we had people working
50:20
on stuff, but you could meet someone really connected
50:22
and they can be someone great after not
50:24
that long, you know? Yeah. It's
50:27
the labels for me. I'm done with
50:29
labels. I'm really done with labels.
50:31
Yeah, 36 means you don't go, this is my best
50:34
friend, but I do have one. And
50:36
I like her. I started shooting labels
50:38
around 32, 33. And
50:40
then by the time, 38, 39, I was like, oh, everybody can
50:43
fuck off. I need to make my own truth in order to
50:45
fucking understand what life is. Yeah.
50:47
So. I want to ask,
50:50
though, like, for friends, getting rid of
50:52
a friend, sometimes did the doctor or maybe
50:54
doctor talk
50:56
about, like, codependence? Because, like, maybe that's one reason
50:58
why people don't get rid of certain friends, is
51:01
like they don't want to be alone. Well, I'll
51:03
tell you something that my therapist told me about,
51:05
an unhealthy thing. She
51:08
said, you know, this friend
51:10
may be using you, for whatever reason, but
51:12
you're using them. And you have to
51:14
figure out what you're gaining from that person and
51:18
gain that in yourself. Because you're using this, like, if
51:20
you're in a bad thing, you're with them for something.
51:22
And you have to figure that out in yourself. Instead
51:25
of using them for whatever
51:27
comfort they kind of have with you.
51:30
And one of my friends said,
51:32
it's honestly humiliating to argue with someone you're
51:34
not fucking. Which Alex helped me through. Wow.
51:36
Interesting. She goes, you're in these friendship
51:39
cases. You're not even fucking these people.
51:41
Yeah. And I'm like, oh my god.
51:43
Yeah. I never fight with my friends.
51:46
Never. Yeah. Yeah. My mom always says, if
51:48
you're not feeding fucking your financing, then why
51:50
are you here? Like, why are we arguing?
51:52
So you guys can take
51:54
that. But also, friendship is
51:56
a different one to have at South
51:59
Africa. Oh yeah, that's cool. Kids, like
52:01
making time for friends, like that's, you know, probably the
52:03
thing. It gets hard, it gets really hard. I had
52:05
a, once, I had a kid
52:08
and I had a friend write me
52:10
a letter that told me that I was being selfish for not hanging
52:12
out with him. A letter, a
52:14
letter. I was like, you're a sociopath.
52:18
And he felt like left out and I
52:21
was like, well, that tells me you're a
52:23
narcissist. But it's helpful, you know? After
52:25
that, it wasn't like we broke up, but I knew who
52:28
that person was from then on. You
52:30
know, like, yeah, I mean, I'm gonna cry.
52:32
All right, talking about friends and who to
52:34
keep, making the circle smaller, it's like, it's
52:36
tough to do. It really is, but I'm
52:38
glad that you're able to do it. That's
52:40
why I have a meatball party. So I
52:43
can see all the crazies one time a year. I
52:45
don't really talk to anyone, talk amongst
52:47
yourselves. Bye-bye. See you later. But
52:50
it's very lovely. It's sort of like what people do
52:52
for Christmas, but it's my own made up holiday. And
52:55
it's delicious. And it's delicious and we have a good time.
52:58
OK, so we OK, it's my one friend in the back
53:00
that comes to the party. So
53:03
we ask every guy what's the most adult thing you want to
53:05
do for yourself that you haven't had time in? It could be
53:07
anything big or small. What grown
53:09
ass thing do I want to do
53:11
for myself? This people have said like,
53:13
shake, who they said, like, I want to drink
53:16
a capri on the island of Capri. Like, why
53:18
don't you drink Capri, son? Well, wearing Capri while
53:20
wearing Capri. You don't have that's a very hard
53:22
one. Why would you put that one out there?
53:24
That's like the Oscar winning. So
53:27
can you do better than that or? Truly
53:33
anything. I know. I know. Can
53:35
you just talk amongst yourselves? Yeah, no, no,
53:37
no. Matt. But while you're shaking.
53:39
I thought I could go with a good show. What do you think? It's
53:41
a good show. This is fun. This part of
53:43
the audience, amazing. A
53:46
little chatty, but fun. No, they're nice. They're going to
53:48
get drinks later and really sort it out about
53:51
a boom. I love the peeps in the
53:53
back. Iowa people were great. Thank you for coming all
53:55
the way from Iowa for this. Did you really come
53:57
all the way? You guys leaning on the bar? You
54:00
guys are really doing it the bar.
54:02
Yeah, but you know what the real
54:04
MVPs aren't leaning on anything. They're just out here
54:07
Fucking with their stance. Oh my gosh. Their
54:10
knees are fucked. They are they
54:12
definitely go to TKTS the day up to get
54:14
the Like that's what it's giving and I like
54:16
that. I like that TKTS Yeah,
54:19
that's a lot of words go letters.
54:21
Actually. Are you ready? Are
54:23
you ready? Yeah Oh, please The
54:27
first thing I would say The
54:29
first thing they're like I kept thinking
54:31
I was like I don't even know but my parents
54:33
are hitting the age where they just like like
54:36
I kept trying to explain I'm like mom. I have a fire
54:38
escape. I'm really excited and she couldn't understand it I'm like it's
54:41
the metal stairs outside of the window and I was
54:43
just so mad at her and then my sister was
54:45
like pretty woman She goes. Oh you have a pretty
54:47
woman thing and then she got it But
54:50
I was so frustrated and I think my adult thing
54:52
is I'm not gonna be frustrated with where my parents
54:54
are at like I'm just And
55:05
I told my dad I go I like to order this from here and he
55:08
goes But how did you go there? You
55:10
mean LA? I go no, no, it's in New York. He goes,
55:12
but you lived in Brooklyn I go And
55:15
I got so mad but next time I'm gonna be like
55:17
you're right I'd never been and I was stuck in Brooklyn
55:22
You that I've been to a restaurant outside my burrow, I don't
55:24
know How to
55:26
do this right now, but I can't be mad
55:28
at you. So that's my yeah He's
55:32
a trigger everybody You
55:40
know what I forgot that Lisa has done the
55:42
show before when we were just doing a live
55:44
show It wasn't a podcast until I was like
55:47
sitting next to her on stage. I'm like, oh
55:49
my goodness What in the big
55:51
titty deja vu is going one? This
55:55
is what I love about her and this is what I
55:57
love about people like her especially creative what she
55:59
does It's kind of like what we do is kind of like
56:01
learning a language or learning how to drive in New York You
56:04
learn all the rules and then you learn how to break them
56:06
and make them your own, right? And that's why
56:08
I fucking love her and you can only be
56:10
that funny when you have been through some painful
56:12
shit Yeah, and so you can look at someone
56:14
you don't even have to know what they go
56:16
through But you just know that they've gone through
56:18
something just to be that dark and
56:20
fucking funny. Oh, absolutely I fucking love
56:22
her. But yes, you guys got to
56:25
check out her podcast if you haven't that's messed up
56:27
and SUV pot SVU
56:29
podcast I Want
56:31
to be like SWV like
56:35
every time I have to say SVU I'm
56:37
like Sisters
56:40
with voices 16
56:44
year old black girl comes out of me.
56:46
I'm just like double you double feet a
56:48
lot. It's a lot I know we go to different
56:51
places. It's like it's law and order SUV. It's long
56:53
or SWV. You know it. Yeah Yes,
56:56
yeah, so it's it's called that's
56:58
messed up and it's an
57:00
homage Comical homage
57:03
to Lauren order SVU with the Mariska
57:05
Hardin's gay of it all So,
57:08
please check it out. It's so funny. Don't try and
57:10
do that now You're gonna try and just say
57:12
everybody's last name this motherfucker It's
57:16
not lost on me that the podcast
57:18
name is that's messed up and I
57:20
messed it up, okay Okay,
57:22
as the middle child I can be
57:24
a little corrective it's true a little
57:26
a bit yeah I'm
57:40
gonna have like no energy and no voice by the time
57:43
I see my kids Bye
57:48
everyone we love you I
57:56
See your producer is gently This
58:00
episode was mixed by Jen and
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