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Hello friend , welcome to the audiovisual

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version of the advice column newsletter

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. In case you're like me and prefer listening or

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watching to reading things , I

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wanted to ask you have you ever read the book the

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Lion , the Witch and the Wardrobe , the

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Children's Series by CS Lewis ? In

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one scene of that wonderful book

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, which I just recently re-listened to

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all over again with this really great narrator

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maybe I'll put it in the show notes because

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he was so great with the accents and everything

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but in one of the scenes

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, the four children who are living

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with a professor that they've only

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just met . They were sent

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away in Operation

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Pied Piper during World War II from the

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city of London out to the countryside

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to try to get them away from the bombings . So

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these four siblings , two brothers

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, two sisters , are all living

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with this professor that they've just

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only met and they

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start to become concerned that their little sister

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, lucy , has lost the ability

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to discern reality from

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imagination because she's told them

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that she's found this magical wardrobe that

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will transport her into another land . So

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they don't know what to do and they go and knock

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on this kind of scary unknown

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professor's study door while he's in

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there and they ask

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him what should we

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do about this issue we're having with our little sister

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and her basically lying and telling

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, making up stories , and

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what happens in this short little

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scene , I think , is such a master

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class in how to honor

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other people through listening . So

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the passage says they went and knocked

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at the study door and the professor

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said come in and got up

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and found chairs for them and said

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he was quite at their disposal . Then

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he sat listening to them with the tips

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of his fingers pressed together and

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never interrupting till they

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had finished the whole story , and

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after that he said nothing for quite a

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long time . Then

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he cleared his throat and said the

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last thing either of them expected

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how do you know ? He asked

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that your sister's story is not

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true . So

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this story really

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just warmed my heart and made me think so much

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about my listening , how

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short it comes up , but some things

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I can do to improve it . So

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this is what I noticed . The first thing

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is that he made time for them . He

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invited them , these kids who

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may easily have been dismissed

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, he said , to come into his study

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. He welcomed them and with

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his words and his actions he got up , he

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found them chairs , he made them feel welcome

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and comfortable and like it was important

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to talk to them and give them time , and

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I think how special those little kids

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must have felt when a professor

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did that . He really honored

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them and then he allowed them

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to speak . He listened intently

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and he gave them his focused attention

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. I love that he didn't interrupt

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and he just sat very concentrated and

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paying attention to every word

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. And I picture

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the way all of us , especially young kids

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, can ramble when we're sharing

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something and we're excited and we're just spewing

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it all out and I can imagine

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those kids just telling them their story

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excitedly and him not rushing

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them or trying to make them get to

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the point , just allowing them to completely

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finish . The

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third thing is he paused . He

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didn't jump in the minute that it was

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his turn , but he just let

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it sink in , reflected on what they

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said and gave it a moment , and

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he's showing a lot of importance to this

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interaction of spending

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time and listening to them . And

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then , lastly , number four he asked a

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thoughtful question and

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he showed respect for the children by asking

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them a question rather than telling them what to do

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or coming down with his verdict . It wasn't

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like he listened to everything and then issued

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a decision . He also

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honored the little girl whose mental health

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was being questioned by giving

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her the benefit of the doubt that

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she was possibly telling the truth

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. So I think

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about this little vignette and

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I want to be more like the professor

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, don't you ? I

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want to make time , listen carefully

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, take it slow and

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ask thoughtful questions that all show

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respect to the people who

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are involved in the conversation . I

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just think it's a really beautiful model . So

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what is one of your favorite lessons

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from a real or fictional story

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in your life ? I'd love to hear

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about it . I'd love to hear . I think sometimes

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even children's books are the most powerful

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. But what are some tools you

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have gathered from stories or

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things that you do to

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be a better listener ? Let me know

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, lisa at Advice Column , and

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thank you for sharing this journey , and the purpose

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of Advice Column , which is a nonprofit

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501c3 , is to

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share stories and conversations

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that are uplifting while

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encouraging or reminding

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you to connect to the best in yourself , others

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in the world . So thanks for being on this journey

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with me and I'll see you in the next video .