Episode Transcript
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0:01
Welcome back to Alchemy This Sammy host
0:03
Kevin Pollock. What's happen? Yes, that
0:06
Kevin Pollock. Would you like to meet the Alchemist.
0:08
Let's do that now, shall we. Chris
0:10
Alvarado, how are you sorry? Great? Feeling
0:13
good today? Yeah? Man, I love this podcast and I love
0:15
everybody. What's your favorite
0:17
thing someone has said about the podcast so far? Um.
0:21
I like that it tends to get
0:23
people through there sometimes
0:25
boring jobs. I think it's cool that we can could
0:27
bring a little fun to them in the office where
0:29
they're plugging away. Yeah. Yeah, you
0:31
asked in a previous episode that I just
0:34
heard folks send us
0:36
some Instagram photos of you in your tedium
0:38
that you keep referring to while you're listening to us.
0:41
So let's remind people to do that tedium
0:44
or it might have been there
0:47
was a hashtag that he said in the moment. Yeah,
0:50
just as long as it is this is us, that would be that.
0:54
Yeah. Um,
0:56
and we love hearing from you. Right your name here
0:58
at Alchemy this dot com. Your name here, alcome me
1:00
this dot com and uh,
1:03
Chris, thank you for that. Joey Greer, Yes,
1:06
thank you. James Heeney. Yeah,
1:08
yeah, great, Craigkowski,
1:11
thank you, longtime player,
1:13
first time listener. About
1:17
let's do this. I think one of my favorite things is
1:21
did someone else have a favorite thing? It
1:24
was great?
1:28
And I'm sorry. We have to have you
1:30
heard when you're when you're not here? Have you heard
1:32
what you sound like when you're not here? What
1:35
what you
1:37
should listen to the show? Someone
1:41
in this room may have you down pretty good. Let's
1:44
just leave it there, Okay, thank you to
1:47
listen to it. Um, all
1:50
right, So this story, uh,
1:52
is a little more lengthy.
1:54
I read this story yesterday and painstakingly
1:59
copy and pasted it.
2:03
Yeah, and uh, and so we're
2:06
it's going to take a minute to read it or three and
2:08
then um, we'll just dive in. This
2:11
is a story and it's handy me strapped in kids. This
2:13
one is more lengthy, as I just said, than the previous
2:15
ones. And it begins now. Pauline's parents,
2:17
Warren and Ruth, had separated when
2:20
she was five. Warren, a successful businessman,
2:22
was a heavy drinker who became violent. Eventually,
2:25
Ruth just couldn't take it anymore. When
2:27
Pauline was seven, Ruth took the children on a
2:29
holiday to Winnipeg. More than a thousand
2:31
miles from their home. When they arrived, Ruth
2:34
told them they were never going
2:36
back. When Pauline asked her mom
2:38
why, she only said, I'm sorry, I
2:40
can't tell you. When you're older, I will
2:43
A similar sudden pickup and move happened, though only
2:45
four years later. Otherwise, life
2:48
was somewhat normal for Pauline's family. They'd
2:50
start again, build a new life in a new town. But
2:54
below the surface, Pauling was confused, anxious,
2:56
and falling into depression. She said, I knew
2:58
something bad was happening. I know what
3:00
it was, but there was always a sense
3:02
of something dire that was unspoken.
3:05
By the time Pauline was eleven, she had attended
3:07
six different schools in as nearly
3:09
as many years and had lost touch with her dad. But
3:11
another man had come into the family's
3:14
life, a church minister named Stan. Pauline's
3:17
mother had met Stan at a support group
3:19
for families of alcoholic Stand was a counselor
3:22
there, and Ruth had gone to him when she
3:24
was struggling with Warren's drinking and preparing to leave
3:26
him. Both times that Pauline's
3:28
family had disappeared, Stan's family
3:31
had moved in lockstep with them,
3:34
so whatever happened had been going on,
3:36
they were a part of it. At age twenty
3:39
three, Pauline, graduated from university,
3:41
was working on her local newspaper and
3:43
when her mother telephoned and said,
3:45
Okay, I'm ready to explain all the strange
3:47
things that have happened throughout your life. When
3:50
Pauline arrived, Ruth slipped her
3:52
a note with an empty envelope.
3:54
The note read, don't say anything. Put
3:57
all your jewelry in the envelope. I'll
3:59
explain. Her mother took her to a hotel
4:01
room nearby, where Pauline was
4:03
surprised to find Stan was
4:06
waiting there as well. Stand and Ruth told
4:08
Pauline that for the past sixteen years they
4:10
had been on the run from the mafia. That
4:13
Pauline's family had been targeted because
4:15
her father, Warren, had been involved
4:17
in organized crime. She was asked to
4:19
remove for jewelry because it needed to be tested for recording
4:21
bugs. Pauline said, a feeling of terror
4:24
came over me, that this might be something
4:26
we could never escape. Stan
4:28
explained that it all started after
4:31
he had counseled the mafia kingpin who
4:33
wanted to turn his back on his criminal pass.
4:35
When the mob discovered that the man had broken his
4:37
coat of silence, they
4:39
assassinated him,
4:41
and they had come for Stan after
4:44
thinking he probably knew too much as well. Later,
4:46
when Ruth, the embittered ex wife of him offer
4:48
herself had started working as a secretary
4:51
at Stands Church, she too
4:53
had become a target. Pauline
4:56
says, I was then told that each of us
4:58
had someone following keeping an eye on us
5:01
from a distance, and that there had been many
5:03
attempts either kidnapped, poison, or
5:05
to kill myself and my brother and
5:07
that these agents had intervened to
5:09
keep me and my brothers safe many times
5:11
over the years. Stan also explained that there
5:13
were shadowy communities, towns,
5:15
and different parts of the country where people who
5:18
had been targeted by the market could go and protective
5:20
custody. This was known as the
5:22
Weird World. Stan
5:25
was already living in one of these communities, but
5:27
his wife hadn't wanted to go inside, so
5:29
he was there alone. As unbelievable
5:31
as all this sounded, Pauline insists
5:34
there was all these explanations that made
5:36
some troubling pieces fall into some kind of
5:38
pattern. A narrative. Over
5:40
time, more and more alarming information came from
5:42
Stan and Ruth about the weird world, that
5:44
there were doubles for her and her brother,
5:47
doubles for the people looking after them.
5:50
Stan explained spent several months
5:52
studying home videos to learn how to behave convincingly
5:55
these doubles using plastic
5:57
surgery as well. On the
5:59
day or Ruther got married, for
6:02
example, she met her father and her aunt for the
6:04
first time in many, many years. My mother
6:06
was so upset at the wedding because her sister was supposed
6:08
to be a double, she kept saying Pauline.
6:11
Her mother also received dozens of letters
6:13
from people on the inside the weird world. The
6:15
handwriting always looked authentic. They were
6:17
convincing who on earth would
6:19
take the time to forge all these letters
6:21
if they weren't real. Pauline decided that she
6:23
would go inside with her mother. Stantold
6:25
Pauline that there was work inside and
6:28
she would have plenty to do and people to meet. Many
6:30
years later, Pauline met Kevin,
6:32
who would later become her husband. Dan gave
6:34
paul and Pauline awaited and her big day.
6:37
Of course, she couldn't invite her real
6:39
dad, but Kevin was allowed in on
6:41
this dreadful secret. Kevin agreed that
6:43
he too would go inside. Pauline, after
6:45
many many years, finally decided she
6:48
needed to know for sure and set up a sting to
6:50
make sure this was all factual. She
6:52
called her mother and said, somebody
6:54
broke into the house. What should I do? Pauline's
6:57
mother replied, I'll ask our friend and calling you back,
7:00
Ruth called back and said she couldn't talk on the phone.
7:02
Pauline must come to their house immediately. Once Pauline
7:04
got their, horrified, Ruth and stand told her that two
7:07
people had in fact broken into her house, had
7:09
photographs, They found photographs of her, and
7:11
they've been following her looking for different things and
7:13
certain things that would make her life
7:16
otherwise unlivable. She said she couldn't
7:18
take it anymore, and she knew in that moment that it was a lie
7:20
and she had a severe relationship. She had made
7:22
the whole thing up. She was so shell
7:24
shocked and angry. When Pauline confronted
7:26
Stan, he told her that there must be some mistake.
7:29
Report about these two men picking up in the photographs
7:32
and breaking into the house must have been incorrect, but
7:34
Pauline knew it was too late. I was
7:36
furious, resentful, and I finally decided that
7:38
my mother was not in on it, though Stan
7:41
had made the whole thing up. But I just couldn't
7:43
think why, why he would have done it. Pauline
7:45
went to see a psychiatrist who told of
7:47
an actual case for
7:50
let Adeu, a syndrome
7:52
in with symptoms of delusional behavior
7:55
are transmitted from a dominant
7:58
personality to a less personality.
8:01
Pauline's relationship with her mother never entirely
8:03
recovered, though it didn't prove when
8:05
Pauline started her family, I had to forgive
8:08
her. I could never forget, but I had to forgive
8:10
her. Shortly before she died, she tried
8:12
to warn me to be careful. I said
8:14
to her, I don't need any more to be careful,
8:16
anymore than anyone else
8:18
out there. Her mother said, oh, Polly,
8:21
if you don't believe this, how you must
8:23
have hated me. And I said to my mother,
8:26
I never hated you. I've
8:28
been angry, but I love
8:30
you. Wow. Wow,
8:34
are you the Kevin from that s It's
8:37
a weird time to tell you, but this is actually a part of
8:39
my life. My first wife
8:41
weird world. I learned my
8:44
attentions. Man is shut to
8:49
keep coming back and be like wait, who I
8:52
think I understand? That's
8:55
so confident. Let's
8:57
play. You're
9:00
going to Toronto? What? Why? What's the move? What's
9:02
going on? We have to go to Toronto? Business
9:04
move? Okay, it's a business move. Can I
9:06
get my stuff and we'll go when
9:09
it's I meant to say, it's a Um,
9:13
your mother's taking you on a vacation. Okay,
9:16
okay, so pack your things all right,
9:19
so quick. I don't understand what you call me when you get
9:21
there. Yeah, I'll call you when I get there. Good. But
9:24
I got the prom dance tonight, I get the prom
9:26
dance. Can wait, anybody, boy, it's me.
9:28
It's uncle Jim. You
9:31
know me. Um, your mom and I are
9:33
we we're gonna be taking you on this vacation. Um,
9:36
why isn't my dad he's busy,
9:38
right, that's right,
9:40
Yeah, he's busy. Are we all
9:42
set? I'm all set? Is
9:45
this the kid that I'm supposed to impersonate? What?
9:48
Okay, we're moving really quickly.
9:51
I'm gonna have to put your look at mommy. Take
9:54
a look at mommy. I know you
9:56
were excited for the prom dance. I know we have a great
9:58
life here, but we're just changing up a little.
10:00
Okay, and this, this young man
10:03
is going to be another version of you and something we're
10:05
going to call um Waco
10:07
World should get to go prom?
10:10
That's ball. Why isn't he just go there?
10:12
I go to prom. No, you
10:18
pack your things with your mother. Don't understand
10:20
this? So many people. It's a vacation. You're
10:22
going to have fun, Jacob, I love you.
10:25
We haven't been on a vacasion since we went to the
10:27
Cape two months ago. We need
10:29
this, okay, Jacob, can I have your phone?
10:33
I guess I need your cell phone? Why
10:35
do you need a cell phone? I'm taking
10:37
his life. I'm taking all his calls. Okay, stop
10:39
getting so angry with this. I'm also
10:42
we didn't know that you'd be interacting with him so closely. I
10:44
thought that this was going to be seamless. I thought this could right,
10:48
This is the opportunity I get to know. Why are
10:50
you so angry at us? I'm angry that I
10:52
am not aware of the you
10:54
know, if I'm going to be honest, I'm frankly
10:56
angry. You don't look like Jacob. What do you mean I
10:58
don't look like Jacob. Okay,
11:01
okay, look I sent the guy out and sent I sent
11:03
one of my agents out there to work with you guys. O came. Sorry. I
11:05
wasn't the one you wanted, all right, but I mean, the whole
11:07
experience was really didn't work.
11:11
Maybe you promised us protection. Okay,
11:13
you promised us protection. Now
11:16
I I already feel like my
11:18
my my cover is blown. I had to show
11:20
up and say I'm his uncle, uncle Jim. I mean
11:22
from the records and what I heard, you were that clear about
11:24
it. You were kind of floundered in the moment. You gotta be
11:27
better than fake Jacob. Fake Jacob was blew
11:30
it right away. You fake Jacob didn't match for. He didn't
11:32
match for. You had a deal. Remind
11:36
us of the deal. The deal was that I was going to send
11:38
you a Facob and he was gonna get in there. He was
11:40
gonna implement himself seamlessly into
11:43
where Jacob really was, and then you
11:45
guys could leave, do whatever, and we're gonna have double
11:47
triples, quadruples all over the city, all over the state.
11:49
I didn't know about the quadruples. I knew
11:51
about it. Why do we need quadruples? That's the package
11:53
of You went for the quadruple,
11:56
Well, I want us to be you
11:58
didn't buy it. My husband
12:01
bought it, right, I work for him. Oh
12:03
god, we'll send
12:05
another over. Okay, just this Martino.
12:08
Can I see my office please? Yeah.
12:11
I'm getting complaints for what's
12:13
going on with you. I'm getting complaints from
12:15
you in the field and the people you're sending out to be the
12:17
doubles. Oh yeah, like you're sending
12:20
your relatives instead of people who actually look like the
12:22
people that's supposed to be double store. Well well
12:24
yeah, but sometimes your relatives know you
12:26
better, right, right, So can
12:28
I read some of the complaints. They're gonna
12:30
hurt. But yeah, they are
12:32
gonna hurt because we have problems. Right,
12:35
We're supposed to infiltrate people's lives with
12:37
seamless doubles, right, and
12:39
you keep sending your family who looks nothing like the people.
12:42
So who do you need me to double
12:44
this time? It's eleven year old girl.
12:46
Yeah. If you don't buy it, yeah, so just you know, when
12:48
you're at there, just you move, move
12:50
around, you do a lot of sitting. People are
12:52
gonna buy this there, you're okay,
12:55
look how long we've been relative, so yeah,
12:58
but before I'm
13:00
a fifty year old man. But well for my life. So
13:03
just you're good, Teresa, Teresa, give
13:05
Cindy the ball. Give Cindy the ball. Hey,
13:09
thanks for the ball. You
13:13
seem different. Are you sick? No,
13:15
I'm not sick. I'm having
13:17
a great time. Smushed our Ballah.
13:20
Sorry, I don't know my own strength sometimes a
13:23
Cindy. Okay, kids
13:25
come inside, alright,
13:28
so hey, let's have some cake. Who
13:31
are you? We don't eat cake every day.
13:33
That's Cindy. That's Cindy. Cindy.
13:36
Yeah, I hang out of here all the time. You are wearing
13:38
what Cindy normally wearing. Okay.
13:41
Uh had a real gross
13:44
spurt, yes, with facial
13:46
hair okay, great, and a tattoo
13:48
on your arm of a snake. Okay. So let's
13:50
get back to this, Okay. I want things to be very
13:52
clear before we head out. Okay,
13:54
I'm all for it. I just want to be safe. I
13:56
want to keep Jacob safe. That's what I want to I want
13:58
to ultimately be reunited with my husban, and
14:00
you will. And he's doing us
14:03
a really big favor by for by
14:05
staying in town. Okay, so obviously
14:07
I'm were you and I are not related. I work
14:09
for it. I understand. Okay, Terrific, Um
14:12
your son. But I'm saying you're
14:14
my son's uncle as if you were my brother. But
14:16
you are not. That's correct. So we are brother and sister.
14:19
Terrific. Jacob will be with us. Um.
14:22
It's confusing, but it's important
14:25
because your life is in danger.
14:28
Your husband's life isn't so much in danger. I'm
14:30
not getting any new information yet, Okay,
14:32
fair, okay, I just want to make sure that we had the basics
14:34
down. Why is my life in danger of I'm leaving?
14:38
Well, don't you? Don't you see if your if
14:40
your husband's life is in danger, he would be leaving.
14:42
But this isn't so much in danger as yours
14:44
and Jacob's life. Oh yeah,
14:47
you see. Your husband obviously
14:49
has been
14:52
in part of some criminal enterprises. Um.
14:54
But the way the people have to burgers, no
14:58
let us for you, no tomatoes for thank
15:00
you. I had an extra
15:02
fri thank you. She's my sister. This
15:05
is my brother. Can you believe it? We grew up
15:07
together? Actually? Can you? Guys? Don't look anything like what
15:10
ever because I look like my mom
15:13
and he looks like our dad. Our
15:15
dad. Okay, we
15:18
used to spend Christmas together. What happened
15:20
we got older? Yeah? Life, that's
15:22
crazy. Do you
15:25
guys have like a shared saying or anything that most
15:27
siblings do? Did you? Oh? We
15:29
do? What do you want to say it? Yeah? Count
15:32
us off? Waitress two?
15:43
What happened at table show? I don't know? They just right off. I
15:45
can't cover this bill. I can't cover it. Take
15:48
a break? Okay, okay, okay,
15:50
So are we square? I
15:52
mean I froze. I'm freaking out. I don't think it's okay.
15:55
And that was low stakes. Okay, that was low steaks. That was
15:57
good. That was just a rep book. She poison ourselves?
15:59
No, no, no, no, no no. The
16:02
only to think about
16:04
job. We should be peacefully dead. You
16:07
usually diad, not on the Lamb and Wackle world.
16:09
Your husband has done terrible things to people who
16:11
want to take out his crimes on his family.
16:14
Exactly should just I should eat poison. I
16:16
should eat rat poison. I have a bunch in the trunk.
16:18
I can't let you do that. Why not? Because I'm not only
16:20
here to be your brother. I'm also here
16:23
to protect you. Ice cream.
16:25
You guys want some ice cream? Okay, this is he's
16:27
he's undercover, he's one of us. How you
16:29
doing? Oh is that
16:32
real ice cream? Just's not just talking.
16:34
We're just running you through some real scenarios. He's
16:36
frozen New York. I'll have some terrific
16:39
very good, very good. Do you want to you
16:42
want vanilla chocolate or swirl? Swirl?
16:44
Is both options? Okay? You can't sorry, you can't
16:47
hesitate like that because to put a bullet through your brain.
16:49
My god, but put a bullet through your brain into
16:51
Jacob. Yeah, everybody, Well,
16:54
I don't understand the swirls
16:56
actually working. I can do a little bit of each Oh
16:58
that's okay. I don't like it looks popped
17:00
on top of each other. I'll just have one. That's how it
17:02
is. Um,
17:05
I'll take it. Thank you. What
17:07
do you mean they don't want me to beat Jacob?
17:10
This is for me, I
17:12
get okay. Look, look, look
17:14
you don't give me thinking. You just there's nothing. You
17:16
don't look like the guy just shaved. I did
17:18
everything that was supposed to do. Is could go to prom
17:21
I'm doing casting now? Oh
17:23
my god? Yeah, and you don't look like the
17:25
kid. I look just like a seventeen
17:27
year old seat.
17:31
And maybe there'll be something you write for, maybe
17:33
some lucky uncle. Listen, I've never graduated
17:36
high school and this is no yeah,
17:38
this is by
17:44
the way. I got everybody's cookies. You had
17:46
three bucks of Samoa's. You had like five
17:49
minutes. Oh,
17:52
man, I mean Cindy is selling, so I
17:54
mean me, I'm taking
17:56
off what what
17:59
what were the cookies? We just got
18:01
cookies. Yeah, we got cookies. I'm
18:04
doing casting now. He doesn't look like a sending,
18:06
but he's got to get the little thing, the stickers.
18:10
He's not getting the badge. Come on, get
18:14
jesus mead.
18:17
Okay, you can finish out Sindy. Okay, just
18:20
to the end of the show. Why can't
18:22
I finish up Jacob until I get a degree? Oh
18:25
that's what you were talking about, Like, Oh, I
18:27
get it, you have that. You should just go to get
18:29
your g D somewhere else. Because even if you get it as
18:31
Jacob, you don't have it. Marla. It
18:34
just means a lot to the kids, you know what I mean? Why
18:36
is it turning on me? Just say
18:38
like you're trying to save this business. You know what's
18:40
going to happen in Wackle world if you keep this up.
18:44
I mean everyone's gonna die. Yeah, everyone's
18:46
going to die. By the way, everyone
18:48
coming to my soccer game this weekendes
18:53
okay, and don't truck people like your shoulder
18:55
and these kids. It's like, it's all right, Jacob,
18:57
jo Hey Jacob, what
19:00
do you think about this hotel? Huh, it's pretty cool.
19:02
I guess is that light not working? It's
19:05
not working, but but your mom
19:07
is here, so that's cool. And hey,
19:09
you said I think we should eat poisoned were
19:15
overhead? Look at me. It's
19:19
okay, I can't ice cream? Man said you
19:21
put a bullet
19:24
hesitated. Holy
19:28
look at me, Look at me, Look at me, look at me. Okay,
19:30
I'm a good person. Okay, I'm
19:32
here too. Happy you're safe. Okay, Now
19:35
here's the deal. You know, I'm mean your fucking uncle,
19:37
right, I don't know that I thought you were.
19:40
You were, okay, you cover,
19:43
just put your own cover. Guys,
19:46
are you checking into the hotel? We
19:49
were? Yeah, it was this room. We're just waking
19:51
to thisb This
19:53
is not supposed to be a room where you can have a gun
19:55
out. Oh, I'll put it the way there. Okay, please
19:57
to thank you. Can we get some towels,
20:00
towels just out here in the lobby? Yeah,
20:02
okay, yeah, so I'll go get up terrific. You
20:05
two are making my job very difficult.
20:07
This should be a good time, are relaxing,
20:10
good time? I don't think
20:12
it's going to be. It's gonna be a bad time from
20:14
here on. It your father did some bad things. More people
20:16
want because
20:19
you're the first way to get to me. So before they even kill
20:21
me, they're going to cut you up into little bits and then give them
20:23
to me, trying to make me break. But I don't even know
20:25
anything but anything good
20:27
news. I I'm not a great uncle,
20:29
I know, but by my uncle. But but
20:33
your granddad's here. Anybody needs
20:35
some ice cream and
20:37
he'll be taking you to another hotel tomorrow.
20:39
Everything going okay? Who is not
20:41
my granddad? I know my granddad? Okay here
20:44
here, can't take this gun? Oh, I gotta
20:46
go, Jacob, Jacob, it's
20:49
a custom grip. How do you know that,
20:51
Jacob? You got them? I got this all right? Bye,
20:54
guys, sir, the towels,
20:56
I'll take that where you go. Thank you.
20:59
Slippery breath of fish. Why
21:01
did he say that? Just
21:04
done it? Just I
21:06
don't want to be
21:09
a man. God's sake. I brought you
21:11
into this world, okay, and a new
21:13
from the first moment I made eye contact with you
21:15
that I could, I could take you out with me,
21:18
because what's the point, what's even the point if we're not together?
21:21
Right? Buddy? Who whose Moby's buddy? Everybody
21:23
you're my buddy.
21:26
This lobbies used for everybody, but it
21:28
would really be sometimes when you use the
21:30
lobby, it's making it so nobody else can enjoy
21:33
the lobby as much as we want. Okay, well,
21:35
okay, okay, sorry for
21:37
interrupting. M I
21:41
don't know what to do. Take us
21:44
take us away. Let me go to the zoo
21:46
with your grandpa. You know he's
21:48
not going anywhere alone with you. I'm going to the
21:50
zoo too if he If he's going.
21:53
Thanks, Wow. I love this crssage.
21:57
Um. This is I've been dreaming a
21:59
problem like I don't even think about a wedding.
22:01
I think about like I just thought about PM. I want
22:03
her back by ten PM.
22:05
Alright, I'll bring her back, sir for
22:08
Jacob Dric. But
22:10
I don't want you back by ten. It's
22:13
problem with always going on in the boy's mine.
22:15
Oh Dad, okay, Jacob,
22:18
Wow you look great. Thank
22:20
you. You look fantastic. Thank you,
22:23
thank you. Come out, get into the car.
22:25
I don't want any drinking going on on your
22:27
other leave him aloud,
22:32
you do, okay? No drinking? Ok okay,
22:35
Dan. I want to go dance. All right, you know Jacob,
22:37
but you know, let me see if Jacob come dance. Come
22:39
here, James me for a want
22:42
you guy taking my dance? Alright?
22:45
Alright? Can you put some music on? So
22:51
I've always loved Jacob. Can I look
22:53
at your teeth? I've always loved Jacob's
22:56
teeth. My teeth are sre today. I don't want
22:58
I don't want to show him off. Hey,
23:00
can I get some pictures with my big sister before
23:02
she heads after the premise. I'm
23:06
Cindy. I'm her little sister. Cdy
23:09
you know, Cindy, of course you know,
23:12
but please don't look like Jacob's
23:14
teeth. Call me crazy, You're
23:17
crazy, crazy
23:22
job Sorry,
23:25
your mind is going Cindy.
23:28
Um, are you gonna have fun tonight
23:30
with Grandma? I'm gonna have so much
23:33
fun. Yeah, we're gonna watch the voice and uh
23:36
and play Candy lean. Okay,
23:38
all right, jakeob you ready, let's go hold you
23:43
any kissing? I don't know, but are you gonna
23:45
kiss? You? Kiss me first? I want to you.
23:51
Okay, you don't even know that
23:53
I was gonna kiss. Maybe
23:57
I will kiss. Okay, let's just do a quick little little
24:01
very good. No, no,
24:04
I about a kiss for a little Cindy over here,
24:07
kiss my little daughter. You're
24:10
doing great, guss. Why are you
24:12
feeding me into this? Kiss? You're doing great? Alright,
24:15
alright, I just want a little kiss. Oh where
24:17
did that? I
24:23
got a badge in it? Cindy's
24:26
such big hands for a little girl. Yes,
24:32
I think it's the carburetor. Maybe
24:34
you know? Okay, that'll be happy to look at it for you,
24:36
No problem. I'm I'm
24:39
undercover. Say good, I'm
24:42
undercover. Okay, but
24:44
just keep you tuning like you're looking at my car. Yep,
24:47
Hold, look it is a carburetor. Great.
24:49
What do you mean to do? Did you just keep talking about car stuff?
24:51
I'm want to tell you you might want
24:54
to take a look at that fan belt as well. Your
24:56
wife and kid are not doing well. Okay, okay,
24:59
yeah, and bell I can probably replace
25:01
I think a lot of parts here. If your wife wants to
25:03
do a double suicide with your child, okay,
25:07
yeah, well let me uh let me check the plugs
25:09
while i'm under It's important that
25:12
you get rid of Jacob. His cover has been compromised.
25:15
We needs you to kill Jacob. How uh
25:19
I need this done by at least this afternoon.
25:21
Oh yeah, everybody, and Linda
25:23
floor manager. Here's
25:26
your interaction going, uh interaction?
25:28
Yeah, whether he's brought in his car,
25:30
it needs work and I'm gonna have I'm
25:33
gonna have the boys. What's the diagnosis, doc,
25:36
I would say, just cleaned the carburetor, replaced the
25:40
Yeah, it does look fine, but that's what it's
25:42
underwarrned. We don't want to miss diagnose
25:44
anyone's car. She's right, We don't
25:47
let me get a bad help review. Let me take
25:49
another look at it. Sure, sure, I'm
25:52
sorry interrupt this gentleman here to show
25:54
me here he worked on my card writer earlier. He
25:57
just ruined the engine. I I don't know what
25:59
they did. It drove off here, fine, yeah
26:01
it did, and then it stalled out and then it just
26:04
fell off the box. Routine
26:06
are you going to leave a negative yump review. Oh
26:09
you can bet it, you can bet it
26:11
you're fired? What? Just
26:13
like that? Absolutely, just like that.
26:15
It doesn't know how to take care of a car. Yeah,
26:18
I feel and I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Moron
26:21
doesn't know how to take care of her car. Moron
26:23
is not enough under the bus. Keep
26:25
your cool? Okay, please, boss,
26:28
what I need to drop? Bad? You've a gun?
26:30
Sir, I'm
26:33
a cop. Where are you going? Get
26:37
over here? Okay?
26:40
Okay, pop trunk the
26:43
trunk, help the trunk, help me out?
26:46
Okay, okay,
26:50
what is that? Well? Weed whacker?
26:56
Ma'm I'm a police officers
26:58
killed a woman that you don't need to know that. I
27:00
don't need to answer that. Police officer wouldn't do
27:02
that. I've been reading a lot of fuss
27:04
speed articles. Oh my god, I see
27:06
you. That's a badge. That's right. Okay,
27:08
okay, now listen. Why does Waco World
27:11
p D because I live in a different time?
27:14
No? Okay, well, I don't know. You asked
27:16
me a weird question. Let's questions, boss. My family
27:18
is endangerous. You're fired, understand,
27:22
lady? In this trunk world? I
27:24
quit? Please tell me how I can help. Okay, we need you to
27:26
take out Jake. I gotta take out Jacob. That's right, he's been compromised.
27:29
Everybody, just find a couple and
27:32
make your way up to the dance floor and
27:34
enjoy the final dance. I
27:37
just want you guys to know I'm the fun chaperone.
27:39
So if anybody, grandson, anybody,
27:41
I won't tell. Why is your skirt so high?
27:44
I'm d is mom. I'll be
27:46
over about the punch. You guys can do
27:49
whatever when you're in my quadron,
27:51
you're see. Okay,
27:53
Jacob, this has been a really, really
27:55
wonderful nights. I've
27:58
had more fun than I've had in
28:00
a long In
28:05
there, I don't want
28:07
to kiss you. Why. I
28:09
just feel like I don't know. I just feel
28:12
like we've grown a part a lot you.
28:14
When we were doing the Electric Slide together and
28:16
then the Chicken Dance, I thought we were coming
28:19
together. Come
28:22
stop pushing me. Your horphones are aging.
28:25
Okay, okay, get out on each other. I watch
28:27
Chacob. I want to say something. Yeah, if
28:30
you were to ever be brutally murdered in front of me,
28:32
I would never forgot it. Really,
28:34
come give me a kiss. I'm not going to kiss
28:37
you. I don't think it's appropriate. I
28:39
really don't. It's pretty nuts. Other other kids just
28:42
dancing around. Yeah,
28:44
I mean, well that's how it is. Yeah,
28:47
that's what it is. Nuts. Remember when we
28:49
were dancing, we just
28:51
stand and go on the wall and look at the girl. We
28:54
had real music, though, Oh my god,
29:00
Why why they hate lyrics so much? I don't
29:02
know. I think it's all intill production, all
29:04
the producers, the Boys Club for chaperon's
29:07
over here, boys boys
29:10
wants Molly? What Who's
29:14
which one's Molly? It's a good one. It's
29:16
gonna make you feel It just makes you feel happy. Watch
29:18
the kids. You can feel like a kid. But you go watch
29:21
the kids? Who was Molly? You
29:24
on a kid? And I'm gonna ask you a kid
29:27
there? You see, I'm
29:30
sitting there, soup, take it
29:32
as aspen. If you'll do it, I'll do it.
29:35
But the Boys Club was a little afraid to take
29:37
a little thing from the Lime, Miss
29:40
I guess, so I really can't take any drugs.
29:42
Well, I'm it's not a chaperon,
29:44
it's not a drug, and you're not schnapperoning
29:47
looke. Come on, Okay,
29:49
that's right. I'm a that's right,
29:51
I'm a parent here. I'm a parent at this school. Boy,
29:54
Saponce, this is my
29:57
boy. This is a straightest student. These
29:59
kids need to like go, These kids need
30:01
to that loose When I was in high school. You know
30:03
what I was doing. You don't
30:05
want one of these, the
30:08
one in the five Buddy and well ship. Okay, Well
30:10
if you look, if you look, if you do it, I'll do it. I'll
30:13
do it. Yeah, look folds
30:15
fast good. I don't know, Jacob,
30:19
it's I know they're like lasers, like
30:22
light showy stuff going on. But there's one
30:24
red laser that keeps going around your forehead.
30:27
Let's move a little bit faster. This is a slow dances.
30:30
It's sometimes it's just it's so funny, the lasers
30:32
right on your forehead. All right, now, let's get
30:34
all the kids together. Let's make a ball and
30:36
dance in that ball. It's the dance ball. I love
30:39
a dance God, thank god we dance
30:44
ball. I feel really good, man, I'm telling you right now, I feel
30:46
really really. Anybody
30:48
lies on Jacob in
30:51
the ball, he's in the ball. I
30:53
get that's on Jacob. Look at those how
30:56
many buns Dana,
30:58
is that your name? No? This is what
31:01
is your name? Oh it is? Wait
31:05
a second, we're
31:08
happen to Jacob check down? Get
31:14
off of me? Why is everybody get off Jacob
31:18
bleeding? I'm gonna get this kid out of you, right the stuff?
31:25
Okay, so can we just can I just start the PTA
31:28
meeting by saying, what the f happened at prom?
31:30
We got a kid? You're looking at me because
31:33
Dana, you're the one in charge of the floor. Okay, you have a
31:35
quadrant and you're quadrant. There's a kid
31:38
who got shot. No, because by the time the kid
31:40
got shot, there was a dance ball and
31:42
the dance ball was overlapping all four
31:44
How many times we have to have a meeting
31:47
about whether or not there should ever be a
31:49
dance ball allowed? Again? Yeah, I'm
31:51
not sure why the dance ball even happens in the
31:53
first place. Every time there's a dance ball, there's
31:55
kids. We need an outlaw the dance ball
31:57
is what I'm agree all right, favor
32:00
about long danceball. I
32:02
know you guys aren't really like hearing my opinion, so
32:05
maybe I won't. I don't
32:07
know. I mean, I have a theory I still maybe what happened
32:09
and what went wrong there? It
32:11
doesn't include a dance ball. Believe it or not, you
32:14
were there what happened? So I have two theories.
32:17
On one, I'll
32:21
take the second. Okay, the second theory is
32:23
that Jacob wasn't actually Jacob, that he was an older
32:25
man behind conspiracy.
32:31
What's the first theory? Ging violence? I
32:34
believe that. I think it's gang By. I don't think it's
32:39
here and Town that was breaking my heart.
32:41
Does anyone want one of these? Put skirt
32:43
down? I can't. Is a tube
32:45
topic goes up and down? I
32:48
really don't know which way is it going to go. Just
32:51
just wear a shirt that tube
32:53
top, just put put a shirt there or so. I don't
32:55
know what you what's your problem? My
32:57
problem? Honestly? What my problem is this is, Yeah,
33:01
that's part of my problem. Okay, he's killing in school,
33:03
but he's not connecting at home. I don't know what to do. I don't know
33:05
how to reach the kid. All right, Yeah, I
33:07
struggle with that. You know. Perfection is something
33:09
that we all try to reach forwards. And all these go
33:12
to Harvard and all that's, oh great, here we go, Snap's
33:14
great. Whatever, great whatever. Okay, who cares?
33:16
I got problems at home? But who gives a ship? Oh, let's stop the dance
33:18
ball. Jesus Christ, welcome to the
33:20
holiday and express you are
33:23
the grandfather of this young
33:25
man. That's your daughter.
33:27
I assume you
33:30
know we're not my daughter
33:32
in law, daughter in law, terrifict.
33:35
I don't need it's not pertinent information
33:37
on It is the son of my son
33:40
who is my ex partner.
33:46
Okay, we need a room, okay,
33:49
a little bit. We
33:52
need a room with a deep bathtim okay,
33:55
sure, let
33:58
check that out here. And we don't have those specific
34:01
specifications. See that three times, specific
34:03
specifications. Specific we
34:07
do have. We have the honeymoon sweet that
34:09
has a heart shaped top is probably going to be
34:11
the deepest we've got. I don't know. I don't need the honeymoon
34:13
suite. I'm with my daughter in law and my grandson
34:16
inappropriate. I just that's the only way I can
34:19
accommodate a deep bathtub. The
34:21
little man, he looks sad. I'm okay, okay,
34:24
I mean you're in Florida. We don't have to do this much.
34:27
You guys go into Disney World today. I don't think I'm
34:29
allowed to go outside in public. Yeah,
34:32
that's right. We're going to Disney World. Oh my gosh,
34:34
that is so much funny eyes,
34:37
go on a long vacation and everything's going to be
34:40
fine. Okay, did you want
34:42
two queens or one king? Do you
34:44
know what it looks like when a man's chest is open?
34:47
Um? Two queens? Please? Two queens.
34:50
I can't see two queens and
34:52
I pull out if you haven't and to pull
34:54
out. Okay, I found have one here with the couch
34:56
pull out terrific. And actually this one
34:59
does have tub specific casitions. This
35:01
is a nine foot tub deeper
35:03
that sounds good. Yeah, deeper. I
35:06
don't have that exactly. That's the part I don't
35:08
know. It needs to be deep. Okay,
35:10
well you're gonna find out soon. Here you go. How many
35:12
keys would you like? One
35:15
key? There you are,
35:17
I'm a charge of the key terrific and I'll
35:19
just need a credit card with a real name on it and
35:21
an I D Why did you say real name? I'm sorry?
35:25
Why did he say real name? I don't know what's
35:27
going on. I still have that gun. I
35:29
think you're gonna have to use it. Sure, here's a credit
35:32
card with my real name. Great
35:35
and just an identification place. Okay,
35:38
what's what's the name of the credit card? Um
35:43
McCracken, Yes, Phil
35:45
McCracken. Here's here's
35:51
the idea that matches that credit
35:53
card. Hold
35:57
on a second, you
36:00
guys checking today? You
36:02
get a free breakfast? Are
36:04
your breakfast? So here you are Holiday
36:07
and Express breakfast? Well, continentals
36:09
usually free, but you have a free real person.
36:12
Where do we go to person? Real
36:15
person's breakfast? Where do we go to get
36:17
that? It'll be delivered to your room by
36:21
the way. You are in room one twelve. That is
36:23
where the players dwell. Why do I have a
36:25
different room? Um, well, you
36:27
wanted two queens, so I give you two rooms.
36:31
Just go So
36:34
you say you want to listening device inside
36:36
the jewelry? Is that what I'm understanding? Yeah?
36:39
Okay? And how how big is the
36:41
jewelry itself? It's very small. Is
36:44
it a ring? Is that airring? It's
36:46
a ring with a tiny gym. Is it a toe ring? It's
36:49
a toe ring with a tiny gym. What
36:51
is the gym on
36:55
X on X? So? Next, Well, that's helpful for
36:57
me because it's darker. I will be able to hide
36:59
them behind it. How soon do you need this
37:02
today? Today? Okay,
37:06
give me about forty five minutes. I should be able to make
37:08
this happen for it, just the one tob ring. Look,
37:11
I'd like as many listening devices, as many
37:13
pieces of jeweler as you can do today today
37:16
again. Okay, well
37:19
we don't provide the jewelry. So how
37:21
much jewelry do you have? Let's see, I've got
37:24
charm bracelet. Charm bracelet. You should
37:26
be able to put it, yep, I gotta watch behind the
37:29
cable car on the charm bracelet. I could put a nice
37:31
little mike. And what else did you
37:33
have? I gotta watch kind of watch. Well,
37:35
look at that there you go? Is that an omega?
37:38
That's an omega. That's a nice one. Huh
37:40
My grandfather hadn't omega? Is a big James
37:43
Bond fair? All right? Um?
37:46
I should be able to put a mic in that watch and
37:49
you get all three of these today by five? Al
37:52
righty, let me just get a credit card for
37:55
a deposit. Okay, uh,
37:57
credit card with my name on it, that's what I need. Make
38:00
sure you're telling a real name up,
38:03
Thank you, honey. I'm making this mistake all
38:06
the time, we need a credit card with credit card with my real
38:08
name. You're uh, would
38:10
it help to show you a real person's breakfast
38:12
card from Oh, you have a breakfast
38:15
card? Real persons are the holiday expression.
38:18
Okay, well, we got a lot of business from there. They
38:21
did refer me to you. You get referrals
38:24
from there. Very Uh. I said, I need a
38:26
surveillance guy in Orlando and
38:32
over here, Julie, Yeah to Tom's no,
38:34
they're very appreciate. We
38:36
appreciate it. We appreciate your business when
38:38
you go back over there where you let them know, we appreciate
38:41
it. All right, listen up, bad
38:43
guys, listen up. We're all gamesters. We're all
38:45
bad guys. Okay, you're not gonna
38:47
listen up that good job, Good
38:49
job. Here's the issue with
38:52
with the case where we're going on right now, the bad guy
38:54
case where we go because we're bad guys, we kill people
38:57
that do bad things that we know we're sucking
38:59
back. Okay, okay, what we do. Okay,
39:01
So I don't think we're always bad. Well,
39:04
I don't want to get into that philosophical discussion
39:06
here. All I'm saying I think that's a that's an important
39:09
thing that, Yeah, we're not
39:11
always bad because sometimes we're
39:13
the one. What we really do think it is right? You
39:16
know what. I agree, but I disagree with that because
39:18
I think everything I do is bad. That's
39:21
your story that Tommy, Please explain
39:24
what the funk we're all going. All I'm saying, that
39:26
is all I'm saying is individually, you've
39:28
been doing good, Salve, you've been even pick
39:30
pocket that. I don't want that ship. I don't want
39:32
to be doing good. I want to be doing bad. Here's
39:35
your own thing. That's what I'm saying. That's
39:37
the universal. You two are in
39:39
love. Okay,
39:41
now moving on, here's
39:44
just the weird world thing again, don't
39:47
don't say that so casually,
39:49
everybody, listen up. You you're
39:51
all being duped, not
39:54
YouTube. You two are madly in love. Is
39:57
that true? Okay? Is that true? You tell
39:59
me I have a few, but I don't know. I don't know
40:01
what this is, asshole. I can't trust my instinct want
40:03
to do bad. I can't trust my instincts
40:05
because I never know what I'm gonna do next time. I want to kiss
40:08
step pretty much. All right, listen again,
40:10
I'm not really picking people's pockets No, I'm
40:12
saying you're doing a good job with your individual
40:14
endeavor. He's doing a bad job.
40:17
But he's a bad guy, terrific vulnerable
40:20
right now? Are you vulnerable? I'm vulnerable.
40:24
Watt should do something about this now
40:27
I have sex already. Here's what I'm saying. I
40:32
mean, I'm not gonna jump to that immediately. You know what I mean. Quiz
40:35
geniuses? Quiz Yeah,
40:38
who do you think it is? You took out the dance
40:40
the other night, Fake
40:42
Jacob Faco. You knew it was fake Jacob Facob
40:45
So okay, So you guys are on top of
40:47
it because the cops are trying to confuse
40:50
us. What I'm trying to
40:52
say is, you're going after people that are actually
40:54
the people you think you're going after. Trouble, So, going after saying
40:57
it wasn't fake Jacob and we killed real
40:59
Jake was to
41:01
kill fake I'm saying, you killed fake Jacob.
41:04
Okay, then we did. But
41:07
what we're trying to get the real Jacob? But does
41:10
it sending a message to the real Jacob
41:12
that we're on is a better message would be sending
41:15
a message to the guy who we're trying
41:17
to publish Family I mean you
41:19
told us to kill fake Jacob. We did, and then what we
41:21
did the bad things to kill YouTube.
41:23
You need to hold hands right now. It
41:28
ain't gonna do that, all right, you you too,
41:31
hold hands? Everyone else look at this white board. Okay, here
41:33
we go. This guy did something
41:35
bad. Okay, which one is? He's
41:37
he's the dad Wait wait wait from how
41:39
far back? Dad? Fake? Real dad?
41:42
Dad is a bad gay. So we're trying to
41:44
get him back. So we're going to do terrible these to his family.
41:46
He worked with us, right, yes, right, exactly, Okay,
41:48
but he's also it works in a
41:51
car dealership. He fix my car, real good
41:53
fued my car up. He's
41:56
not a perfect person. Why do we
41:58
gotta do it every time? Perfect? Get
42:03
him like he's perfect? Guilty?
42:06
The son of a bitch right here is one of the most perfect a
42:11
piece of artwork. All
42:15
I'm saying is here are our targets.
42:17
We need to kill fake Jacob to fake
42:20
Jacob three, but we also need to get kill
42:22
real change. To my point, we're spreading us something
42:24
when we just kill real Jacob. Okay, do you know where your
42:27
eyes look like to see its storm?
42:30
Fuck you piece of fine
42:33
new objective, new mission. You kill
42:35
real mom, you kill real
42:38
Jacob. Go now,
42:40
yeah, find him, all
42:42
of you, all of us, Oh Jesus
42:45
Christ, all right, finding you too, take a car, go
42:48
around the city together. I got your keys,
42:52
come on your
42:54
pocket? So
42:57
skinny, he's Cindy. Yeah,
43:01
what is it I
43:04
can of? I need to talk to you about something personal?
43:07
Yeah, sure, I can always lend a near to my
43:09
older sister. Um,
43:13
I just feel like things
43:17
have changed since Jacob died,
43:19
and um it was a real tough prim I
43:23
look at you, I see like an old soul.
43:27
I don't know why I'm coming to my little sister for for
43:29
for questions. I mean, from eleven years
43:31
old and a girl's scout. But
43:34
you're more than that somehow, all
43:36
right. I
43:39
don't know. I don't even know what I'm asking. I just I
43:41
need guide in some advice. That you're just a
43:44
little kid. Why do I come to you, Cindy?
43:50
You get me? You
43:53
know? Maybe maybe there's another Jake
43:55
ab out there? Okay,
43:58
and I'm not talking metaphoric. I mean
44:01
maybe there's another Jake about there. Did
44:04
that Jacob wasn't a real
44:06
Jacob? You're winking right,
44:10
I've got a real person breakfast for
44:13
Room one twelve. That's us.
44:15
Open the door, Um, can
44:18
you slide it under the door? Oh gosh, it's these
44:20
scrambled eggs. The piles up pretty tall.
44:22
Open the door, just are you Room
44:25
one twelve? Just slide it under
44:27
the door, please. Oh I'm trying. It just won't
44:29
fit. Open it just a crack. Just
44:31
put the eggs on the carpet and the paper to shove
44:33
it through a place. Just put the eggs on the carpet
44:35
and then use a piece of paper to slide at the place. Is
44:40
that you or me? It's coming from
44:42
inside your room? Why does you open the door
44:44
before you go? Hello? Yeah?
44:46
Hi, listen, there's gonna be something coming
44:48
by a room and he may or may not have an
44:50
actual breakfast. All right. I just
44:52
want you to be careful. Who opened the door? Do? Okay?
44:55
So so do not open it or open
44:57
It's up to you. I'm i gonna tell you what did dude? Just be
45:00
you care who is? Ask a lot
45:02
of questions if someone brings
45:04
food to your door? James,
45:08
who's vault over a
45:10
nice long swim? Okay, mama, come babe, you
45:13
uh sir? Oh yeah, I
45:15
have to go clean my mom. I can't. I
45:17
can't eat right now. It's flood it's getting cold.
45:19
Oh, it's burning my fingers cold,
45:23
it's getting cold. Right now, it's hot and
45:25
burning my fingers. On the door. To slide
45:27
it under the door, please, this door won't
45:30
have anything. Slide under it, Okay,
45:32
I didn't know that. Put it through the crack on the side. And then
45:34
how about this. I'll leave it here and I'll
45:36
walk away. It's on the floor. You
45:38
can open the door when one's well if
45:40
you leave it on the floor. I know that there's some dogs roaming the halls
45:42
and they will eat it. So if you could just slide it under the great
45:45
This door goes all the way to the floor.
45:48
There's no crack. Just open.
45:53
I don't even have a floor hold on. Hello,
45:56
yeah, I listened. Stop
45:58
talking the gay at the door. What's happening?
46:00
Immediately tell him who you are. Trust, tell
46:02
me your dad. Okay, it's your father, Papa.
46:07
Be very careful and don't open the door. And
46:11
Jacob, are you wearing my tel rings? I
46:14
can't find it. I haven't, Mama, go
46:17
and go talk to your mother and get away from the game. But
46:19
please, I love you so much. Please come into Disneyland,
46:24
Caribbean. So you're saying I
46:26
can't get the biscuits and gravy with this, with
46:29
this real persons. You
46:32
promised me a card where I could get access to the full buffet.
46:35
Okay, I need to get back to my
46:37
room. Okay, my grandson might
46:39
be in trouble, but I want to get these biscuits
46:41
and gravy first. He is in trouble. What you've
46:45
been compromised? You work for us.
46:49
Why did you kill yourself? Oh
46:52
no, no, just
46:55
he was giving me permission to Where
46:58
did you get the real biscuits? A
47:01
real biscuit card? We're fill cracking
47:04
right there. There you go. I'm headed off to
47:07
I didn't get a real biscuit card. We've
47:09
got a man down. Somebody call it nine. I
47:14
didn't want to have to do. That is our problem over here, sir,
47:20
dogs dogs everywhere. Stay away
47:22
from my biscuits. Stay away from
47:24
my briscuit. What's
47:26
going on out there? Some I'm going on the hallways. They
47:28
have how just
47:31
opened the door, opened the door
47:34
for breakfast. Just shoves under the door.
47:36
Please you put your hands into
47:38
the door. Is so deep we
47:40
get almost drowned. I'll be gonna sucking
47:42
me. I gotta get a pizza
47:45
for Jacob. Open the door. Pizza.
47:48
Let's just put it under the door, please, Candy
47:50
Graham, Candy gram for Jacob. We're
47:52
all here for you. Jacob, opened the door.
47:55
We're all here for you. Jacob. Just
47:57
put off the beautiful jake
48:00
your hand on my waist right now. Yeah,
48:07
you're talking to Jacob. You're
48:09
jaking. Trust me and my mom. Weird.
48:15
I got dog a lot
48:20
of food on it for you, Jacob. Put it on the door.
48:22
Please bring deliveries here.
48:25
Yeah, stay away from me. Old man, are
48:28
you going into this room? Old man? Grandpa?
48:31
Yeah, grandfather, Okay, go
48:33
ahead, go into the room. And I got the one
48:35
key, okay, just open the door.
48:37
Only we had a pickpocket and amid,
48:42
Oh, give me this one to you right here?
48:49
Is that me or you? Hello?
48:56
Hello? Might be me? No? Hello? Yeah,
49:00
I think the line's got crossed. Hello. Yeah?
49:02
You know who are you? Who
49:04
are your Pepa? Papa,
49:07
Papa? Do me a favorite. There's
49:10
a man outside with a gun that goes pu pew.
49:13
I want you to get out there and get that gun off. He
49:15
gust you to go out in the hole. Look for the
49:17
man whose gun says pu pu al
49:20
right, doesn't make a normal gun. Stumps can't wait, it
49:23
goes pu pew. They can't wait. To give
49:26
me this gun right here, Give
49:30
me my gun back. You're a beautiful mother. Fun We'll
49:35
stop like sunny Jack.
49:38
Whoever whoever is on the phone with you, he's
49:40
telling you to take my gun. It's my pepa.
49:43
It's not your peepa. I'm
49:46
your father. What I'm your real father.
49:48
You're my dad and your I know I was
49:50
pretending to be your grandfather. Grandpa's
49:53
our dad. Oh yeah,
49:57
Grandpa's not your dad. Who
50:00
Ever whoever's in that pathtub, that's not your mom.
50:03
That's not your mom. And I
50:05
don't know, but she's not your mom. Okay,
50:08
I'm your dad. Okay, wow
50:10
boo, hearts and breaking. How
50:14
many people are out there dead? There's a
50:16
lot, and I don't know who they all work
50:18
for, some of them. I'm talking to the door of the kids.
50:21
You man, open the door. We're gonna kill you. And
50:23
that little Jim Bione. I got
50:25
the I got the key it open. I
50:31
really do have I have
50:33
a gun. I have a gone and I don't I don't care. Who knows
50:36
how I will use it? No? Shoot? Oh
50:39
nice work, very good, very good. All
50:41
right, which one if you had the gun that went peep peep, that
50:44
was me and now I got it? Good
50:47
mom, Mom, help help
50:49
mom. Everybody stop stuff. If
50:51
you're going to kill the real Jacob, I'm the real Jacob.
50:54
No, I'm the real Jacob. No, I'm
50:57
the real Jacob. I'm the real Jacob
51:00
Jake. This
51:02
is what we call a casting coup and
51:07
another great episode. Let's
51:09
go around and thank our alchemist please, starting
51:11
with James Heeney, Jemmy Jack. Oh
51:14
gosh, guys, thank you so much for
51:16
listening to Alchemy. This, your suggestions
51:18
help us make great shows, and thanks
51:21
for just
51:25
okay. Then go to Brief Newsprief dot com. Greg
51:29
Man, first time listening and I really enjoyed
51:32
that. Okay on
51:34
Twitter, Lovely Vanessia
51:37
Ragling, Dynasty Typewriter on
51:39
Instagram, Dynasty tarpwriter dot
51:41
com. The whole calendars are there show,
51:45
come enjoy the popcorn. It's Ridunculus Chris
51:47
oper At Chris Operando on
51:49
the various social media's and Joe,
51:52
we grew that pretty
51:54
much close. Jeffy Greeber dm
51:58
me you know, send me photos of you
52:00
got it? Everyone? Send our our
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Instagram uh any photos
52:05
of yourselves in your Tedium.
52:07
We get a lot of letters. Keep writing to us your name
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52:12
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52:14
best for you, and send us some photos of
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52:20
and what the hell we're keeping you from, saving
52:23
you from a lot of theming going
52:25
on? Point your letters and please continue to write what was your
52:27
name here at alchemy this dot com. I'm your
52:29
host, Kevin Pollock, dog Ban, engineer
52:33
to the Stars, Sophie Lichtman, our
52:35
producer, and all the fine folks at I Heart
52:37
Radio. Let's not forget
52:40
our sound design by Raphael
52:42
Bruto. All
52:45
Right, until next time. Hello,
53:02
Hello,
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