0:02

Welcome back to another episode a

0:04

alchemy this I'm your host, Kevin Pollock, Yes that

0:07

Kevin Pollock? What's that? Well?

0:10

You know what, when the cows do come

0:12

home, this comment of yours will seem rather

0:14

tepid, won't it? But I digress. Let's

0:16

meet an Optimists and no particular order? Shall

0:19

we say hello to? But that's a raglan. You're

0:22

trapped on a deserted island. What

0:25

is the one collection of music? Oh,

0:28

you'd like to have with you? Oh?

0:32

These collections used to be called albums. It's

0:35

much easier to ask. You know what. This is a

0:37

really bad one for me. So you don't have a musical

0:40

stylings that you particularly enjoy?

0:42

Your eclectic? Your taste is eclectic. It's all

0:44

over the place. Are

0:47

you over Judy Garland? I

0:49

love Judy? We kill each other

0:51

on the island.

0:52

Okay.

0:54

Then the question shifts which one

0:56

of us? And you have to say, Joey, would

0:59

you like to make you a mixtape

1:01

for the island? I have to say, that's right.

1:05

The same song on Loop Grab

1:09

your Shorts. Craig Atkowski is at

1:11

the table, ka cow, what is your

1:13

deserted island album?

1:17

You know what? I'm saying album, so now it's no longer music

1:19

could be anything. I

1:24

think one of those Haunted House records of Spooky

1:28

that way. Other people stay the funk off my Desert

1:31

Island, that's the beauty. So

1:34

uh is it desert island because

1:36

it's a deserted island? What makes it a desert?

1:39

They mean the same thing. Turns out, I think

1:41

the British say desert, I mean

1:43

deserted. So you thought your face, you thought

1:45

you were in the UK for a moment. I

1:48

know we've got a big UK listeners do who

1:51

love the accidents? At least one of the same

1:53

suggestions today is from the UK. Hold the

1:55

bread between your knees. It's Chris Alvarado, Chris

1:59

T. Brinkley of improv. What is your

2:01

album of Desert Island? Man?

2:05

All right, I'm just gonna say it. Just say

2:08

yeah, that's Dr Dre's the

2:10

Chronic boom Ka Boom

2:13

cut the Grass. Because they're James Heeney,

2:15

James g McGee the third. Care

2:17

to share your albums? Yes, I do.

2:20

It would be it would be that's

2:23

all the time we have. It

2:26

would be alive one

2:29

from fish Okay,

2:31

you know what it's

2:33

a really good album.

2:36

It's really good. I meant to ask you a

2:38

question. Is that five hours long? It's

2:40

it's longer than most albums. But should

2:42

ever be how that so easily?

2:45

See? You just jammed a

2:48

lot of different sounds coming out of that.

2:51

Do they do they have the nerve to name the

2:53

tracks? Yeah, of course they do. There's

2:55

different songs. No, they aren't different

2:59

titles. Oh man, okay,

3:02

God bless you for your choice. We

3:04

live in a free society, or allowed to be wrong.

3:06

And but may your car washby

3:09

clothes if you think at least it's Joey Greer, joe

3:11

to the Greer. Oh what is your

3:13

album? You know? I'm I'm gonna go with

3:15

your own new album? You know my

3:18

I had to play my album Goodnight, which is on

3:20

the Spotify itune Sam. If

3:25

you did, I would strip

3:27

myself immediately. I would

3:29

forget that that's who I am. I forget that I'm listening

3:31

to myself and then vow to kill the

3:33

person on the album. And when I get back

3:36

to civilization, I realized

3:38

that that's me and I've I've already

3:40

been dead. That's beautiful, you know what I mean?

3:43

That makes sense or

3:46

Limbiscuit, Anything by Limbiscuit. Those are my

3:48

two albums. We'd

3:51

like to invite you to become a v I P member

3:53

of our new Patreon page. Bonus episodes

3:55

not available to non members. Oh that's right,

3:58

episodes seen available

4:00

only to you. There's a phone number,

4:03

and also that the just v i P s

4:05

can call in, leave a message, or put

4:07

in requestion or request whatever will

4:09

reply at one of our regular

4:11

meetups. We've got one coming up actually at

4:14

the house where we do a live stream. Will tell you all about

4:16

it on the social media's Uh, those

4:18

are only available to v i P s All kinds of cool ship.

4:20

So joined the super core fans by going to Patreon

4:23

dot com slash alchemy this. All

4:26

of today's scenes suggestions regathered from

4:28

our listeners emails. If you would like

4:30

to submit one, please write to the

4:32

podcast that your name here at alchemy this dot

4:34

com. That's your name here at

4:37

alchemy this dot com. Our first scene comes from Dave,

4:39

a Patreon v I P. I'm

4:44

sorry, did I not mentioned that v I P s get

4:46

priorities scenes suggestion into

4:49

the queue? Because you do, Dave

4:52

wrote, it made my day when you use

4:54

my suggestion unibody body

4:56

part group therapy. Yep, it's me, Mr

4:59

Univall.

5:02

I don't think I was here for that. You

5:05

probably weren't. You might have been. Thanks

5:07

for doing that one. Here's my new scenes suggested,

5:10

brace Yourselves. Marvin

5:12

mckugh as an advice call in radio

5:14

show host, thanks for all the last

5:16

checking his church Dave

5:20

uh Marvin's So you just sit at the counter that you've got

5:22

the headphones and the microphone, a firm view.

5:24

That's all you gotta do, Will folle with the questions to you,

5:27

and you just first thing that comes to your mind. Okay.

5:29

And these real people calling in, they certainly

5:31

are yeah, yeah, people from all over the world,

5:33

by the way, not just the United States. Okay,

5:36

so it might be a different time zone. It could in fact

5:38

be a completely different time zone. Okay,

5:40

so I should adjust to that. You don't have

5:42

to adjust anything. I'll just shoot your question

5:45

while play the person's asking the question, and

5:47

then you just first thing comes to your mind. Okay,

5:49

good, because I have a lot of advice to give you.

5:52

That please. That's we had a lot of life

5:54

experiences. That's why we've hired you. Good

5:56

good, or they've hired you. I'm just the engineer.

5:58

My name is Doug, Babe. So let's uh when you're

6:00

ready to give me a thumbs up. M that's

6:04

not really a thumb. Okay,

6:06

well, I my thumb is mangled. So

6:11

hello him? Am I on the air. Oh

6:13

here's our first caller? Yes, your

6:16

stage, your name please, and where you're calling from. Hey,

6:18

my name is Donny Carter. I'm calling from Downey,

6:20

California. Okay, Mr

6:22

Carter, what question do you have from Marvin? Well?

6:25

Quick little backstory? My wife and I

6:28

are well, we've lost

6:30

the spark frankly, and

6:33

I just don't want to lose her. She's

6:35

a great woman. I just don't

6:38

baby, Baby, I'm ordering pizza.

6:42

I'm ordering pizza. I'll make this quick if

6:45

you get something with pepperoni. No,

6:48

no, no, no, that's not that's not

6:50

my question. My question is how

6:52

do I bring the fire

6:55

back to the bedroom? Bring the

6:57

used to have a fire there? No, sir, one

7:00

second, baby, please? I need I need, I need an

7:02

answer, I need it quickly. She's getting angry

7:04

and I want to suite her and make

7:07

sweet sweet love to her. Please

7:09

give me lastly's coming over. We're

7:11

going out you're staying at home. Can

7:13

I come? Now? Well

7:16

that's the issue, isn't it. Yeah?

7:18

I can't come. Thanks

7:21

for nothing. Look, look Danny dunny

7:26

him. It's okay, Marvin. We got another call. Okay

7:28

in the queue here for you call. Yeah,

7:32

as it turns out good one. Uh

7:34

your name and where you're calling from? Place by

7:37

um sean turtle neck,

7:40

no relation to the actual clothing one um

7:42

from I'm calling. I'm from Raleigh, North Carolina,

7:44

but I'm calling from New York, New York, right outside

7:47

and right outside, right outside now, and

7:49

I have a quick time is it there? Right now?

7:51

It's it's like six What time is it? Everybody?

7:54

It's three eighteen? Okay,

7:57

So should I call back? Or how did this? Well?

8:02

I just want should I call back? Or is there Doug b What

8:04

do we do? We'll just go ahead with the

8:06

question. Uh, well,

8:08

this is a time sensitive question. I don't uh

8:12

if we're not on the same time, I

8:14

don't know what. Okay, Well, let's synchronize.

8:16

I watching. Are you analog or digital? Okay?

8:19

I am digital? All right, So this is gonna be one

8:22

two. Okay,

8:25

what do you see now? I see right now? It

8:27

is off I just turned my watch also

8:30

off. All right, I don't know what time it is. That's good. We don't

8:32

know what time it is, so both What

8:35

is your question? Question is actually more of a statement.

8:37

It's actually more of a statement. But all phrase as a question.

8:39

We can handle that phrase as a question. That's all right,

8:41

just to do it upward inflection. You got

8:43

it. Red socks,

8:49

Raleigh, I'm not wearing socks right now. When

8:51

we socks, I'm in New York. When Raleigh,

8:53

when I wear when I wear socks,

8:56

I do prefer red socks.

8:58

All right, I am in socks is a sponsor of the

9:00

Marvin MQ Show for many years.

9:03

I'm in New York. I'm a New York guy. Sox.

9:06

We do all the thinking for you. Why I

9:08

choose a color when it's red

9:10

red sox? All right? Marvin?

9:12

Alright,

9:13

I remember,

9:18

Marvin, if you'd like to save one of these calls,

9:21

were set up a special bank and

9:23

you can name the bank whatever you want. Okay, So for

9:25

playing back later. We live on the air now we

9:27

are okay, yeah, great, So

9:29

everyone's hearing you giving me notes.

9:34

I don't think these are notes. I'm

9:37

taking them his notes. Yes, Yes,

9:39

is Marvin m you're on the You're in the Marvin

9:41

MQ. I'm

9:43

in the cure. I'm on the show. You're on the show.

9:48

I know you. I'm disguising

9:50

my voice. I'm trying to Okay,

9:55

so, uh well, I didn't

9:57

expect you to guess so fast. What time

9:59

is it where you It's three

10:01

nineteen? All right, we are in sync.

10:03

Okay, it's a pizza on the way. What

10:07

do you got? What you got? Where you are? Where

10:10

are you calling from? My house? Sure?

10:13

And your name? It's a condo? Is

10:15

that Italian? Is this Marie condo?

10:18

Oh? I wish, I hope I could

10:20

spark joy I'm calling. I'm

10:23

calling because I have a crush on

10:25

someone. I don't know how to tell them. Okay,

10:29

that's tough. He has beautiful

10:31

ankles. Hm. You

10:34

know people often compliment me on my ankles

10:36

when I'm not wearing my red socks. Yeah,

10:40

what what else is about it? Is true

10:42

about him? What else is true

10:44

about him? What a beautiful question. He's

10:46

a poet, he's but

10:50

his feet show it. They're longfellows.

10:55

Oh poetry related puns? Am

10:57

I go to mom?

10:59

I I see this fellow at the library

11:02

on Wednesday. Did I go to the

11:04

library on Wednesdays? Is

11:08

this is this fellow you're talking about me? If

11:12

it was question, how

11:14

would I get you? How do I get you?

11:16

Is that the question? That's my question? Get

11:18

off the jug. Well,

11:23

next time you're at the library, and maybe you need to send

11:25

the signal I've been trying. What

11:28

are some of the signals you've said? I have

11:30

you ever noticed the lady with no teeth? Okay,

11:33

so you just want to check this up for two

11:35

days? You want to check

11:37

this up? Please quiet down, don't tell me

11:39

the show. Do you hold

11:41

onto my shirt? Let

11:44

go? What are you doing,

11:47

freak? I'm trying to check out a book I

11:53

need. I need this sex guide.

11:55

Okay, this is an advice

11:57

show. Now I'm I'm out of the law business.

12:00

Don't need to check this out. This

12:02

is just a pamphlet of safe sex.

12:04

Fact take this old

12:08

karens are sex? I love it? Do

12:10

I still refer to you? Okay? I don't remember

12:12

that. Well, well, I apologize

12:15

if I treated you that way. It's okay.

12:17

I I was trying

12:19

to create a scene. I didn't deserve your attention,

12:22

but I'd love to deserve your attention.

12:24

Marvin. It sounds like you've acquired

12:26

teeth. I've gotten to my nephew.

12:29

Oh you got his teeth. No, I wish

12:32

those are great, they're young. These are fake.

12:36

Well, I think you can kiss just the

12:38

same regardless, right, I can kiss better

12:40

with him out Marvin, Marvin,

12:43

we were listening to your radio show. I got pretty pretty

12:46

fucked up. If I could just be honest with you. Okay,

12:48

you got pretty hot again? Well subjective

12:51

it was Red Sox upset. The

12:53

Red Sox is through the roof. All

12:55

right, they're pulling sponsorship. Okay,

12:57

oh no, oh yes, are

12:59

you think we're gonna have our product on this fucking

13:01

station? I understand,

13:04

man, understand. Started sweet, it

13:06

went sexy, it got filthy. Understand.

13:10

Look, we're doing a live radio show here. Okay, it's

13:12

three eighteen. Alright, we're doing the best

13:14

weekend. You talked to that motherfucker? Hey,

13:17

Dave, keeping my office for a second. Yeah,

13:19

what's up? Yeah, you're in charge of the Red

13:21

Sox campaign, right, yeah? On

13:23

radio? On radio? Yeah?

13:25

Have you heard the Marvin MQ show. Well,

13:27

they did a Red Sox ad. No, okay, So

13:29

my wife and I are driving a dinner last night and this

13:31

thing. I get it. You're married. Yeah,

13:33

I don't mean to bring it up every time you do. I'm

13:36

sorry about it. You're not married. Wish

13:39

I was right, so I started

13:41

interrupted. I'm just taking orders for for chicken

13:43

or do you want roach of chicken?

13:45

Because I do, because you're married, I wanted

13:48

you're not married' not married? What do you mean? I'm

13:50

not married? So just chicken for us. I'm married,

13:54

the marriage. I get some food, right, I'll

13:56

be back in a minute. Okay, so what's up? Yeah?

13:58

The ads are horror the live reads yea horrible.

14:01

You need to talk to whoever is in charge of the station that he

14:03

works out because my wife is humiliated.

14:05

Oh yeah, exactly. I can't have that again

14:09

to read those ads A real proa by

14:11

the name of I don't know his

14:13

fucking name. Okay, this is all right. Listen

14:15

to people, all right, Like we run a business here. Everyone's

14:18

got to be married. Are you married?

14:20

All right? Everyone got to be married?

14:22

Why did you look at me? I'm married. I'm looking

14:24

at everyone. You were looking at me talking

14:27

to you. I'm just respect you know that I'm

14:29

married, ted and my wife is in Canada right

14:31

now. I know that, all right, and uh Clark,

14:33

Uh, well, I'm I'm I'm

14:35

just trying to find the right person. It's I've dated

14:38

and the thing is married.

14:41

He was you were married. I

14:44

was very shortly married, but it was it

14:46

was kicking my leg or what are you doing? Sure,

14:48

don't kick my leg? Why don't don't?

14:51

It's bruising. It's hard to be married,

14:54

it is. But we're a company myself sucks

14:56

to married people. For Mary, all

14:58

right, you married a nut, Clark, I'm no

15:00

longer married. All

15:05

right, we have one last call for you. I'm stepping

15:07

in for Doug Paine, who don't

15:10

worry about it. Where's call

15:12

for you? And we're going live. My

15:16

name's Ebert and I live in Laramie,

15:18

Wyoming. Um. My wife,

15:21

my wife has been burying things in the

15:23

backyard and there's people

15:25

missing in our neighborhood. What

15:27

time is it there there? I mean it's four or fifteen?

15:31

Okay,

15:34

Oh, that's strange. It is strange.

15:37

Did you not do you not have one of those devices

15:39

that automatically resets for daylight saving? No, it

15:41

doesn't, it doesn't. Okay, it's

15:43

a wall clock I'm looking at and

15:45

I can't reach it. Alright,

15:48

half you're wrong. Do you have it like a

15:50

step ladder? You can get on? Sure?

15:52

Okay, I'll give you time to get the step. Close

15:54

your eyes. I'm dragging something through

15:57

here. I don't want you to see it. Okay, all

15:59

right, I

16:02

wish did you buy the bleach I asked for? Yeah,

16:04

they're bleaches under the sink. Thank you.

16:08

I'm sorry. That was my wife. She was tragging some garbage

16:11

bags across the floor. And you want to know where

16:13

the bleach was. So all your poisons labeled,

16:16

Well, I don't know if bleach is really a poison. Try

16:19

drink against see

16:23

how that goes. I'd prefer not

16:25

to, but I'll give it a ship that

16:29

was that was being facetious. Don't drink the bleach?

16:32

Well, is there a difference between something being

16:34

poisonous and being poisoned? Mr

16:37

MQ. You realize you're in

16:39

some hot water. Yes,

16:42

this is very relaxing. Well, we

16:45

wanted to relax before we sort of let

16:47

you know the scope of Parca. Enjoy

16:51

this hot time. So maybe your last So

16:54

I'm sorry. I'm like to please do not talk to my client

16:56

until we have spoken. He's a former he

16:58

has a former jud right

17:00

beyond, Jared,

17:03

your client got forty

17:06

people to drink bleach. They

17:08

think themselves.

17:10

I double there you on the air, and people

17:13

can be dead triple times if they'd like.

17:15

My client is a four judge. Jared's

17:17

my roy Cone. Well, I don't,

17:19

I don't. Hey, Cindy

17:21

thinks for coming back to my place. I

17:25

a quick little nightcap for us, if

17:27

that's cool. Well,

17:29

I was listening to a radio show and

17:32

I got a little tip about something that

17:34

might be spicy. Okay,

17:36

give me one second. Okay, close your eyes.

17:40

Okay, Sean, what the hell? What do you do

17:42

in my apartment? Dude? You said like a crash or

17:44

what I need to hear? Can

17:48

I help? In my eyes? Eyes closed for one Secon

17:50

brought a date hearing me. I want

17:53

to open my eyes. Just hold on real quick.

17:55

What the hell is it? What

17:57

do you have? Any of course? I got bleached?

18:00

Want to drinking it? Almost man with the

18:02

help? Fine,

18:04

Okay, this is my but he's

18:07

my butler. He's my butler.

18:09

Curious, I need

18:11

this, I work out need this. He's

18:14

my butler. And I was he

18:16

was gonna make this up a drink? Yeah,

18:20

can I and how does that concern

18:22

me? Exactly? Because

18:25

ultimately they drank the bleach well

18:27

I said on the show, I'm being facetious. Don't

18:29

drink bleach. I

18:32

had to step back, triple dogs. Excuse

18:34

me, excuse me. I had to step out for a minute. I did

18:36

not hear what you said. Okay, so I am back now all

18:38

right? Where did you go to go out? I had

18:40

to excrete myself, Thank you very much. I didn't want tolf

18:43

Yes I did. Okay, you're an embarrassment.

18:45

Am. I won't even pass the bar.

18:48

No, I didn't, but I got over it. Now let me tell

18:50

you something right now. It's a reptilian. He's gonna

18:52

ship his skin like every hour. I can't

18:54

help that. I'm from a different planet. But I'm

18:56

like you. Your lawyer isn't a lawyer.

18:59

He isn't lawyer? Galaxies.

19:04

Where's the hologram part? I don't see any hologram points?

19:07

Do you have one? Can we get a hologram port? I

19:10

don't run the case SPA and

19:12

there is no hologram port that I'm aware

19:15

of. Excuse me. My tail is full enough. Can

19:17

we get more bubbles here? There should

19:19

be bubbly. I'm again. I don't run

19:21

the case, hit the bubble buttons. You're

19:24

in big trouble, Marvin. We have time

19:26

for just one more call. Great, great,

19:29

So I'm back on the air. You are, yes, of course,

19:31

good. Yeah, we've we've been on the AirLand this whole

19:33

time. Of course. Yeah. But my mind

19:35

has been wondering. Yes,

19:39

there's a calling now, Yes

19:42

you are. You're on with Marvin mcque. The

19:44

butler and the guy is dating

19:46

there on the floor, and he said,

19:51

okay, okay, i'd call

19:53

a poison control center. What's happening.

19:56

What happened? Yeah,

19:59

you'll know what's to do. They were making a night

20:02

cocktail, a cock to nightcap,

20:05

and the butler. The butler was wearing

20:07

boxes and he was reaped, and

20:09

I was like, oh my god, and I like I

20:11

was gonna cheers, and I cheers, but I didn't

20:13

drink it. You just from

20:16

a dream, I don't think. So you're

20:18

describing things that were happening. Now, it

20:20

happened like three minutes at all. Where

20:22

are you calling from. I'm calling from Alaska.

20:27

Oh what time is it? There? To fifteen?

20:31

Wow? That is early, it's late.

20:33

It's okay? Is

20:35

still light out. It's always like that,

20:40

when is it going to be night? Marvin? And why

20:43

is the butler dying? So the question first

20:45

and foremost is when is it going to be nice? Well,

20:49

uh, okay,

20:54

I think six months, Like if wait

20:57

six months, it's gonna be nice. Okay.

21:00

And then the butler question, Oh he's dead?

21:03

Are you curious how she has a butler? I

21:05

don't have a butler. Actually I was on a

21:08

date. It was the second

21:10

so I go back to the guy's place. But it wasn't It

21:12

was his place, but the butler was there. But the butler

21:15

was in a mood. But now, but

21:17

now every they're both. I

21:19

just moved to Lasco last month, and

21:22

this is like not what I wanted.

21:24

Okay, I'd get out of there. Okay. It

21:26

sounds like the call, rather than to the Marvin

21:28

MQ Show is to nine one one. Can

21:31

you do that? Sure? I can switch you over?

21:34

Okay, hold for nine one one operator?

21:36

Please? No

21:39

one too? Oh

21:41

no, I'm trying to call one forget

21:45

great? Can you transfer me? Yeah? I

21:47

guess what his name? Want to do? Can you help

21:49

me this? Of course I can help you. No one to Okay,

21:51

I'm in Alaska. There's two dead people here? Can

21:54

I write this down? To go

21:56

on? What are you writing it? I'm running down to dead

21:58

people? What else you need? Quickly? A pen? Yes,

22:00

I'm more of a computer. We

22:03

don't get that kind of well,

22:05

well, well if it isn't the nine one two

22:07

pussies just

22:09

trying to do. Is our

22:11

cafeteria one

22:15

boys here, the real emergency boys.

22:18

Sometimes sometimes they need an overflow

22:20

and we do a good job with it. Oh is that right?

22:23

Who told you to get out of here? You little son of a

22:25

bitch? Alright? Pop? Quiz that one

22:27

too? Someone gets shot? What do

22:29

you do? Write it down? So alright, that's

22:31

pretty good. Okay, so you got one

22:33

right? What about fucking building fire?

22:36

Second? There's a

22:38

building fire caused by fucking Is that what you're

22:40

saying? What are you talking about? We

22:42

don't. We don't. I never said you did. I don't

22:45

even. We don't even we both have we

22:48

hold up. Let's

22:51

let's write this down. Okay, I'm gonna write this now.

22:55

No, no hull

23:00

came right now? Is

23:02

a friendly hug? Is that? Okay? Make a note

23:04

of that fucking

23:07

hug. Fucking huck, fucking huck.

23:09

No, excuse me,

23:12

librarian, I wouldn't renew this sex pamphlet.

23:16

Yes, again, it's just a pamphlet. Excuse

23:18

me, excuse me. I'm

23:21

trying to renew this sex family. You don't need to renew

23:23

it. It's it's just a hello.

23:26

Oh, I dropped my teeth. Excuse

23:29

me when I picked him up? And I'm going to call

23:32

look great, down on my butt hole? Man,

23:34

I'm gonna call security. No, you're

23:37

not what is this monstrosity? Marguerite

23:43

one one? You can? Can you transform your nine

23:45

one to well? Do really quick?

23:48

Be sure I can't help you out. Maybe there's a woman

23:50

over here's one for sure,

23:52

alright, and we're transferring now. Hello,

23:56

Okay, there's no one on the line. It's still

23:59

me. I think I think I can handle it. So

24:01

you're not well, there's a woman here who dropped her teth and

24:03

she's showing her but it's hard,

24:05

that's but

24:08

but but how

24:10

can I help you you by transforming? And I want to

24:12

please, all right, find trans right now? Thank you? Yes,

24:16

I have a woman here is showing her teeth and her buttle

24:18

showing her teeth, she's losing her teeth and then her

24:20

buttles being shown picking my ankles.

24:22

I just need someone, Okay,

24:25

let me just quick.

24:28

I'm a little confused, but whole

24:30

teeth and I can't think of a better way

24:33

transition

24:35

to a live read ADS.

24:39

It's gonna be super excited to

24:42

find themselves placed so gently.

24:46

I believe Chris, you're going to leave us a yeah, that's right, because

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Would you like to be on the jury. Yes, that's why

26:52

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27:56

show. Alright, let's start with CE number

27:59

two. I've got your attention?

28:01

Hey why not? Um?

28:04

Oh this is good. This actually comes

28:06

from Realm from the UK, who

28:09

who wrote, Hi, I have

28:11

been listening to you guys show

28:14

for quite a while. Now I have you

28:16

guys to thank for keeping me sane during

28:18

soul crushing finals,

28:20

and now that I've graduated, I

28:23

guess we get credit for that, right right, soul

28:26

crushing work. Joking. I love my

28:29

job really, Mostly, I have to say, it amazes

28:31

me still how much you guys are able to derail

28:33

every single scenario that suggested.

28:36

I mean, for example, a kid's TV show

28:39

ending with a psychological damage nine

28:41

year old who thinks he's an octopus unintentionally

28:44

killing himself. I think we all remember

28:46

that, right enough,

28:49

set, I find myself pondering about various

28:51

scenarios to pitch, and then he offered like

28:54

seven different choices. I chose

28:56

the one least like any other scene

28:58

would ever done before. And it goes

29:00

like this. An alien couple who has

29:03

spent a lifetime watching Earthlings finally lens

29:05

and tries to pest themselves off as

29:07

human. Keep doing what you

29:09

guys do best, m from

29:12

England. All right, so this is the last

29:14

house we're gonna show you. This looks fantastic.

29:16

Yeah. Um, as you can see, the entryway

29:19

is quite sizeable, are you?

29:24

I'm just I love this

29:26

house. I would love to cook food that I will eat

29:28

with my mouth and digestive system

29:30

here. Look, I'm a lawyer, okay, and I

29:32

want to get this house. What kind of law practice? In

29:35

several galaxies? Okay? I don't want to yes,

29:38

all right, I don't want to brag. Have you ever noticed

29:40

when you're eating food that your taste

29:42

buds on your tongue can help you

29:44

taste the food. I love that about

29:47

my body. Are you guys? Hungry? That your

29:49

way of saying I would love to eat you. I would love to rip

29:51

your flesh from your body to

29:54

me, and we'd love to eat food at

29:56

the grocery. Yeah.

30:00

Do you want to see some of the bedrooms? And there's

30:02

upstairs only we bring our own pods. I

30:04

sleep upside down and I sweat in the

30:06

night a riot. Okay.

30:09

So that was to number two's

30:11

and you still haven't told me your drink order

30:13

yet. I probably, uh

30:16

what slurpian a

30:18

slurpie? You know what we've done. No, no, no, no,

30:20

no, span babe, what are you

30:22

doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?

30:24

What are you doing? We wanted to live here? Yeah, yeah, okay,

30:27

so I made concession. Yet, yeah, I said

30:29

I was gonna tearrible lot to be able to breathe this oxygen.

30:31

Yet I recognize that accident. You can't say that, of

30:33

course I can say that. Of course, two of

30:35

the most popular human drinks on the menu. Okay,

30:38

yes, where are you guys from Jersey? I'm

30:41

from a galaxy far oh

30:44

man. I recognize that anywhere from the hotpoon

30:46

system. Ye. Do

30:54

you know many cases I got back on the hotpoon system?

30:57

They don't do this. I'll do this this right,

30:59

do right? Two? Number two is too human

31:02

drinks and uh napkin

31:04

to wipe holes and

31:07

from our skin is gonna fall off. We do not need a napkin.

31:09

We have to use a napkin.

31:11

Okay, here, it's all it's outside here, it's thirteen forty

31:14

two. Please you'll see that couple over

31:16

there by the counter. Yeah, they're bad, they're

31:18

they're just are you looking at them? Well,

31:21

I mean undernath their skin looks like you talk to

31:23

us anymore for

31:26

us an the restaurant. I'm just saying there's

31:28

some creeping family for us.

31:30

I'm not oh my, because I got two jobs

31:33

now, I'm too good for y'all home. I think that's something

31:35

that's going on. Also, because you got the Dr

31:37

Phil vitamins. Look, I can

31:40

afford what I can afford, or

31:42

you can buy your own damn Dr Watch.

31:47

I ain't God, dammit, Claire, I'm

31:50

not gonna be a city bitch like that. All right, I'm

31:52

I'm dad. You're scaring

31:55

us. Look, no

31:57

one believes that you saw a sliging saucer.

32:00

No one believes it's from a harpoon galaxy.

32:02

No one believes you can feel

32:04

the the electro mechantic

32:06

waves and energy. We love you, We

32:09

love you. I know what I saw, Okay,

32:11

And I'm sorry. If I'm ruining Thanksgiving, you're

32:14

not ruining it. We're just we're scared. We're

32:16

scared that you're losing your mind. You're

32:19

you're scared. I'm scared they're

32:21

infiltrating our town.

32:24

And I'm scared that the sweet potatoes

32:26

are getting cold. So let's just Stacy,

32:29

You're not blood family, Okay. I cannot

32:32

listen to you say that door. Hello,

32:35

how do you do? Oh? Yeah,

32:38

look, I just needed tomorrow some turkey

32:42

because we sell break. You know what I

32:44

can do one better. We can borrow you some turkey

32:46

inside, borrow me something turkey

32:49

inside. Hey, Hi guys, Okay,

32:54

okay, sorry, we're sorry about this. The

32:57

aliens that came right out of that flying point

33:00

at me. I don't know. This is our grandfather.

33:02

He's my dad. Some

33:05

sweet potato pie. I do it with marshmallows,

33:07

but I got another version without marshmallows in the oven. It

33:09

can go either way. I would like to eat

33:12

that grandfather's eyes. It might be my

33:17

eye. He's he's

33:20

a lawyer. But it's not funny. All right. A couple

33:22

of things. My dad, his grandfather, is not feeling

33:24

well today. Okay. Also, Cyndy over here

33:26

is not actually related to us. She's a family friend.

33:30

That's a family friend. I am married.

33:32

Still. Grandpa's money, that's what's really happening.

33:35

I love him, we have been married for thirty

33:37

eight years. I'm

33:39

not after his money. He doesn't have money.

33:42

All right. Oh here comes mom turkey money

33:44

here it is. Everybody, be careful. This is very

33:46

hot Grandpa. You usually uh, you

33:48

usually cut the turkey, don'ty, We will

33:50

just eat it as is. Usually they're

33:56

obviously a

33:59

question. Who's got ten fingers on their hands?

34:01

Look at all that we have so much

34:03

in common? You did, but she ate that one

34:06

off last night like an idiot. You're

34:08

supposed to keep him all. That's what they do, keep getting

34:10

the way of my goddamn nor my hands. We

34:14

gotta here at the Sclusive family,

34:16

we say grace before we eat. Mom,

34:19

he just ate the whole fucking turkey, and I'm

34:22

we're you know what, We're not going to let that ruin. Thanks

34:24

getting to thank

34:28

I got that extra sweet potato canst rolling,

34:30

Yeah, thank you, thank you everybody

34:32

for coming to Um. I saw an alien and

34:34

no one's believed me and my family anonymous.

34:37

What's the acronym of game for that alien? I

34:39

saw an alien and no one believes me and my my

34:41

family anonymous. So uh,

34:44

I just want us to know that everyone

34:47

here is in a safe place and that

34:49

um you know, if you

34:51

know, what are you gonna do to stop him? Well,

34:55

I mean it's cold listening right now that we're building. I feel

34:57

like that's what it is. Uh, and sir, I

34:59

have a you don't don't need to say into the background. Um,

35:02

but uh yeah, so uh you

35:04

know, I think I think the best thing we can do to stop

35:06

and just make sure that that we stay human. You

35:09

know, I think that's a

35:11

great idea. Look, as the treasurer

35:13

of the I S A A N

35:16

B M A, I feel

35:18

that we could use a little

35:20

more funding, a little more funding for therapy,

35:23

for therapy. I have a question. So,

35:25

like one of your frowns, I'll

35:28

talk about saying my son, comma alien. They're

35:30

also taking these rominans that I

35:32

got off to. Man.

35:36

They like that, man, and they like that. You know, I'm

35:38

not I'm not a goddamn alien because I'm all

35:44

right. Can we break it up? Actually, she

35:46

does bring up a good point. I think we should all care

35:48

do the proof or not an alien movement?

35:51

Obviously we know aliens cannot uh

35:54

clap, so clap.

35:58

I don't know, I don't know how they're made. Okaye,

36:00

claps go around the room, clops go around the room. All

36:02

right, we are safe. We're safe.

36:05

Well, they can touch their hands together, they

36:08

just don't have rhythm. That's exactly right. Welcome.

36:10

So I guess the clap is kind of I

36:13

never considered clap rhythm. That's

36:16

always more than who's here?

36:18

Ever seen the movie The Thing? Corrosa

36:21

film critic? Anyone ever seen

36:23

the Thing? Everybody has

36:26

unlock paths of lifestyles.

36:31

You're the poor sum of bit I've ever seen my goddamn

36:34

alright, alright, no more? You know the I S

36:36

A A, N B M A is a place

36:39

of support. Now we have a new member who

36:41

walked in. We'd like to hear his name.

36:43

Welcome him. He sounds

36:47

like an alien, by the way, he's not welcome.

36:52

That's a good one. My

36:54

name is Rick. I live right here in

36:56

town. Uh uh,

37:00

I live on Waveland. Let's go, let's

37:03

go, let's go. Should we go? Should we do the meeting there?

37:06

Why we're all here? Now? Why wouldn't

37:08

we go to another place? It's probably actually

37:11

got a recline? Or won't you Rick? Anyway,

37:14

I'm not sure if this is the right meeting. I think it

37:17

might be. Are you feeling pressure

37:19

from your family? Do they not believe the things that you've

37:21

seen? Well, they didn't. But then

37:23

two aliens came to dinner

37:26

and clearly revealed themselves of alien

37:28

and now people in my family. Yeah,

37:32

listen, you can't. You can't walk BArch into this,

37:34

into the sacred room and then lie to

37:36

our faces. Alien

37:39

did his ass what they look like? Well,

37:42

they look like people. Okay,

37:45

what would it tell tales that? Well

37:49

one of them sucked an entire

37:51

turkey into his mouth? What

37:57

my mouth? I'm a serman, you

37:59

know what? Maybe you were right, sir. Maybe this isn't the place

38:02

for you. Which group is this? Damned?

38:04

You look so upset? Did they not believe you at

38:06

the meeting? No? I need

38:08

now to join a support group for

38:12

but it sounded like the perfect group of people. You

38:14

were right? How much more right can we tell you

38:16

you were? Those aliens should get the funk out

38:18

of our neighborhood. Thank you, Thank you for always

38:21

on his side for what it's worth it. Maybe your stepmother,

38:23

Becky, you are my own age, Okay,

38:26

so I don't want to call your stepmother. Well I've been

38:28

around for thirty four years, so yeah,

38:30

you're thirty four years old. That's great. I'm

38:34

so em kidding. I'm kidding. That wasn't funny?

38:36

Well, would you know what else to say? That wasn't funny?

38:38

Okay, that wasn't funny. Thank you do

38:43

command coming into aliens. Please

38:46

receive communication. Yeah, we got

38:48

it. Communication. You

38:51

have six hours. Still everything

38:54

goes there a issue

38:56

with the transmission. There seems to be some break in between that

38:58

would want kaboom kaboom. We

39:00

need a big kaboom in six hours?

39:04

M or is the kaboom being generated by an external

39:07

aliens? External external aliens

39:09

doing this message? Who's that messages? It's

39:12

me scorn. Yeah, ship

39:15

must be going down if you doing messages? All right, get

39:17

up my back. Six hours till kabood?

39:21

Score? Can you came him into my office? But yeah,

39:23

what's up? Um? I just read

39:25

the transcripts back from the message you sent

39:28

down to clinking and spanking

39:30

on the earth surface. Yeah,

39:33

yeah, what's this kaboom? I'm

39:35

not great at my job. Well,

39:38

my uncle works here, obviously

39:40

you know him, and he's given me a shot.

39:43

Yeah yeah, No, Reggie's the reason you got this job.

39:45

There's no question about that. I'm not confident

39:47

in my abilities. Well let's work on that.

39:50

That's what I'm trying to do. Yeah. So the first

39:52

thing I would do is take your hands away from your mouth.

39:54

Oh yeah, see now you can speak a little

39:56

more freely. Try to take a boom

39:59

now ka boom see much

40:01

less. Uh. Look, I can't just get you a

40:03

job. Okay, I've got you got another nephew

40:05

or whatever the funk it is in there. Okay, so just

40:08

do your work and if you get it, if you get up, you get

40:10

up. All right. Let me get some more terse

40:12

and crystals please? Thank you? Are you

40:14

married? Yes, I'm married. Yes.

40:18

Look, if you want a job, you're gonna have to get it yourself. I

40:20

can't just keep pushing family members through. All

40:22

right. I need a job. You're gonna

40:24

have to get it your uncle. Can I get some more rise

40:26

and crystals? Uncle from

40:31

a third reptile? Okay, we're not that close. No,

40:34

my mother said that you guys were so close and then

40:36

you had that balling out and I need it all well

40:38

we fell out. Okay, I

40:40

ate two birds this morning. Can I get some tursey

40:43

and crystals? Please? All right? Just follow my lead.

40:45

Hi, we're aliens. Um.

40:49

Can we order a number dash

40:52

dash dash Yeah,

40:55

I'll have a dash dash dash as well. This

40:58

is going well, this is going well. Get shirt?

41:01

Uh? Yes, please? Do

41:06

you want to take this one phil that

41:12

went well, that went well, that's somehow he

41:15

understood me. No, we are

41:17

in okay, now we have five hours, gets you boys

41:19

a drink? Yeah,

41:22

we'll take the most popular alien drinks. You

41:26

got it. We're not from Earth. Nope.

41:29

Five hours until we made this whole place go operation

41:33

boom. We were trusted with this gig. Okay,

41:36

this looks delicious, This does look good. I

41:38

don't do we put it in our mouths? Excuse

41:42

me? Where does this go? What do you mean that's

41:44

right? Are

41:46

you asking? If it just

41:48

it's because it's kind of gassy and floating

41:50

and I wasn't you know, we'll

41:52

just pull out your nipple tube? Right?

41:57

Does you want to try something? I have

41:59

to have his appens. We can't access

42:01

our our nipple. To access

42:04

your nipple tupes for you boys

42:08

us a few dolls extra access

42:10

to nipple. But

42:13

we don't have a nipple tube. That's the bad

42:15

part. American dollars right

42:19

right, of course, not American dollars that would be observed.

42:22

Let me take that. Yes,

42:25

I have it. Okay,

42:29

well, also have you with me? If

42:31

you want to access your nipple tubes, you're gonna have to

42:34

what's going on? Everything? Alright, Crystal? Now

42:37

these are trying to access you

42:39

know, they want me to access to the nipple tubes because

42:41

they say they keep tailors all the time.

42:43

The gas stuff is flowing, and he's

42:46

trying to give me American currency and he's

42:48

talking about I don't have American

42:51

Let me see your back hooks are

42:53

back hooks? All right? Jig's up? We

42:56

accelerate. What were you coming? Puss

42:59

the ball for

43:09

our final scene today. It

43:11

comes from Haley, who wrote, my

43:14

sister and I finally convinced our widowed mother

43:16

to move closer to us. After two years of bugging

43:19

her, she finally put her house on the market. The

43:21

problem is she put it on the market for twice

43:24

what it's worth. We asked her to rethink it,

43:26

but she refuses. Also recently

43:28

informed me that she does not plan to leave the house

43:30

when potential buyers come to view, and

43:33

will just move to the next

43:35

room when they come in. She said. I

43:38

told her that was insane, and now

43:40

she's mad at me. I would love to hear a

43:42

funny spin I'll bet you would on

43:44

this really frustrating situation. I recently

43:47

got a promotion, so I can't listen

43:49

to podcasts all day at work anymore

43:51

like I used to. But I've kept Alchemy

43:53

this on my list of faiths, and I always listen

43:55

when I can keep up the good work. Thanks

43:58

Alchemists. Haley from

44:01

Austin, uh So, we're going

44:03

to show you the house. This looks like an r

44:05

V. This looks like an

44:07

r V. There is no way there's three bedrooms.

44:11

I don't want to have a bad attitude, but I'm not gonna waste

44:13

my time going into this mobile. We can

44:15

afford what we can afford, and we can afford this. We

44:17

try to enjoy that train card design.

44:21

Cute. It's on

44:23

a foundation. You'll be able to own the land

44:25

for ninety nine years. What

44:28

shill certainly will be your lifetimes.

44:32

What happens what happens at the end of the term. But wait

44:34

a second, don't even think about that. Shouldn't it just be ours

44:36

to give to our kids? Sure, and they can have it to

44:38

the end of the ninety nine years, and then it will

44:40

come back to the state. To the state.

44:43

Is this a rental? No, No, let's purchase.

44:46

But the land itself is always owned

44:49

by the This is our first time homebuyers.

44:52

And that's fine, that's fine, head.

44:54

I didn't understand. It doesn't make a lot of sense.

44:56

I understand, But we'll walk you through the whole process.

44:58

Let's go in and take a look. I do have to tell you when

45:01

we go inside. Well, god, damn, looking

45:03

at here, huh. I

45:05

was just about to tell them that your mother's would

45:08

probably let me tell you something right now, don't have any

45:10

Dr Phil pills, all right. That's just gonna ruin your bank

45:12

accounts, gonna ruin your skin. Look at this. This

45:14

is Dickie. He's the owner's son. Much chess.

45:16

Look at this chess. Yeah,

45:19

he will not be here time.

45:22

He won't be here when you own the house. He's just here now.

45:24

So you gotta look past a few things. I'm

45:26

planning on din here before y'all come in, and

45:28

I'm gonna burying myself on the property, all

45:31

right. Dickie

45:33

recently started a profession as a stand

45:35

up comedian. Is this some of your material? Not? Yeah,

45:37

I don't want to burn what I do for free, just off

45:40

your comedy albums. So this is the foyer,

45:42

I guess. Yeah, we're in the fire now

45:45

and again, Dickie won't be here when you want. Okay, this

45:48

is larger than I thought it would be from

45:50

the outside. Please don't touch any of those standing pools

45:52

water, thank you very much. I

45:55

hadn't noticed those. Um there's

45:57

there seems to be a little plumbing issue over here. This, it

46:02

turns out not plumbing issues. That sounds

46:04

like a plumbing issue of just

46:06

recently redone all I mean plumbing.

46:08

If it's mine, I

46:12

think we should. Yeah, I think we should. Thank you so sure

46:14

you the master sweet, it's pretty outstanding.

46:17

Tell you what before you go, and I'm fine if

46:19

you want to go. We want to take a peek

46:21

at the Master Swite. It's it's what we call the closer.

46:23

Okay, all the way out here? Are you sure?

46:27

Show us the Master Swiss down this hole.

46:30

It's a longer hole than I can get from the outside. Just

46:32

really looks like an RV, I know, but it's

46:35

it's big. I didn't know you could fit so many reptiles

46:37

in here. Feast your eyes on

46:40

the Oh my god, oh

46:42

my god, that smell. Smell.

46:45

I mean, the view is beautiful, but

46:49

the it's a it's a over a while ago

46:52

overwhe Yeah, it's a human

46:54

carcass. You're smelling right there. Oh

46:57

my god, thank you for the We

47:01

got everybody in my past but lost

47:04

another one. Okay, this is great. You

47:06

know I'm trying to sell your mom's place

47:08

because that's what she wants. Yeah,

47:12

exactly, So I need help

47:14

from the family. You got it. I said,

47:16

y'all could come in and when we appreciate that because

47:18

you get Dickie to go somewhere

47:20

else. No, no, he

47:23

lives here, I understand. And

47:25

also the urine puddles. If there's

47:27

anything we can do with the urine puddles, I could tell him

47:29

to try to make it more in the corner. That's

47:32

a start, you know what, That's a start. I've got the

47:35

oh my goodness to out front. They gotta be out front by now.

47:37

Please don't no the

47:40

next if

47:42

you lock it down, the fants are fucking here, sweetheart.

47:44

I think this purchase will save our marriage.

47:47

Frankly, I'm

47:49

looking for anything to save the marriage. Well, you were

47:51

also looking for your secretary and you found her.

47:53

Look that's in the past, Cynthia. That's not

47:56

happening anymore. Okay, I cut it

47:58

off. She still were for me, but

48:00

we're not sleeping together. Are

48:03

you looking at each other? Well, occasionally

48:05

we have to look at each other and yeah, well this

48:07

will help. Buying a new home

48:09

will help a fresh start. Okay, I

48:13

love you. I'm hello.

48:15

Hello, Hello, Okay, great, I'm sorry, I'm late.

48:17

Sorry, I'm late. I hear the turners. Yes, where

48:19

are the turners? Martha? Martha?

48:22

And great?

48:25

So sorry I realized I called you Cynthia

48:27

earlier. My secretary's name. I'm

48:32

sorry, Martha. Yes, this is my wife, Martha,

48:35

my secretary name Cynthia. She's not here to do the

48:37

time. And I'm letting it slide because

48:39

that was Call me on it. Call me on it the next time

48:41

I do it. Sorry,

48:44

I gotta take I gotta take this. Okay. Well, so hey,

48:49

having some problems at the office. Oh do

48:51

I need to be there if I'm gonna

48:53

get fucked? Okay,

48:58

okay, I'm I just got to do

49:00

this. I'm gonna do this thing for Cynthia, I mean, Martha.

49:03

I love it when you call him my name. It's

49:07

legitimately alright.

49:12

So I was just okay, just

49:15

telling Martha that, um. The

49:17

home itself is it's actually built

49:19

in nineteen twenties by the architect,

49:21

the HP HP

49:24

HP the architect built it. Yes, so

49:28

you're gonna know some things aren't as aligned as they

49:30

should be. But the aesthetic is

49:33

gorge So it's a it's a natural history monument.

49:35

It's a natural Yeah, yeah, I do, I do. I

49:38

sorry, I I do. Gotta get to the office pretty soon.

49:40

What do you do? What do you do? I'm I'm

49:42

alwayer. Oh fantastic. I love law

49:45

all right, so I'll make excuse me. And it was littally

49:47

inappropriate and I'm

49:50

not trying to be rude or start anything. But we're

49:52

in a rocky position right now, and you being

49:54

flirty doesn't help the situation. Just show us

49:56

the house, okay.

50:00

So yeah, we're hoping that buying

50:02

this house will save our marriage. Great,

50:04

you must get that. A lot that happens, A lot that happen a

50:06

lot. Have you seen it work? Yes?

50:09

Yes, so, yes, it works. I'm

50:12

sorry, I gotta, I gotta take this. Yes, so,

50:16

hey, I got a big problem. Oh

50:19

well, what's the problem? I got an empty body?

50:21

Cavity? Oh which cavity

50:24

is it? There's

50:26

actually three? Three?

50:29

Alright, mine wondering.

50:32

So I'm gonna need you to get over here

50:34

and fill these suckers up. Okay,

50:37

all right, okay, I just gotta do this thing for I

50:41

don't actually care about the square footage. I'm looking

50:43

for a marriage repair.

50:46

Okay, just catching up here, What did I miss?

50:48

So we're just going over the other bones

50:50

of the of the home, just so you know who are

50:52

they? Hold

50:56

on, hold on, hold on, hold

50:58

on. Okay, okay, says Mrs Williams.

51:01

Okay, she is one of the home woman

51:03

thing. It's a live human

51:05

is a live Mrs Williams. So, God,

51:07

it's like they've seen seven. There's smoke committed.

51:10

Yes, she's a smoke her. So this

51:13

home is owned by her and just because

51:15

of hops, I

51:17

am about to Mrs So,

51:20

she's in hospital. She can't be moved. Okay,

51:22

she's got to stay inside the like HP Lovecraft.

51:26

Yes, did you know you're

51:28

familiar with She's

51:31

always thought of people knew him to lose the

51:33

master of the basement. Don't go downstairs,

51:36

that's right. So the basement it's a little flooded,

51:38

and uh, it seems that there is an abyss

51:40

down there. We've we sent a drone and it's gone

51:43

down hundreds and hundreds of feet without everyone

51:45

will take it. Okay, we're trying

51:47

to say great, Yes, you got

51:49

to get to the office. There's

51:51

some there's a lot of holes that

51:54

need to be filled. Baby, Thank you for taking the first step.

51:56

I appreciate it. Three exactly. I

51:58

definitely know what two of them are. Mr

52:01

Turner. Mr. Can I just talk to you before you get into your

52:04

office? Yes? Yes, what what? What is

52:06

it? I just want to say, I thank you so much

52:08

for helping me with my case. Thank you so much

52:10

help. When

52:12

was that? When did I help you last week? Right?

52:16

Good? You got me off paying ten thousand

52:18

dollars I mean so much to me. Okay, but then you gotta

52:20

pay us? Right well I already did. Yes, of

52:22

course you did you. I took my fee and gat

52:25

So what did you want? I just wanted to thank you so much.

52:28

I really, I'm sorry. I gotta get it. I understand that

52:30

you under staying that. Sorry. I just just thank you again. You are

52:32

so kind and such a The

52:35

butt is one of them. Sorry.

52:39

Sorry, I'm so just thinking. Okay,

52:42

uh, just can I get your ear for just a

52:44

second. I got this case. I just can't get

52:47

the ear. Interesting, I just

52:49

can't close this case. Yeah, I

52:51

need a little help of the closing argument, is what I'm saying.

52:55

Have you tried Frankly versus Arkansas? Yes,

52:58

that's perfect. There you go, Thank you so much, Mr

53:02

Turner. It's

53:05

just that I've got I've got to take the rest

53:07

of the day off because I've got to go to the dentist and get this cavity.

53:09

Yes, good, good, take the rest

53:12

of the day off. Yes,

53:15

okay, Hey you lawyer

53:17

boy, Hey, get the funk out of my way.

53:20

Hold on, hold my eye fell out?

53:22

Okay, j Yeah,

53:25

all right, and I gotta just opened to alien

53:28

stick your eye and yeah they did. God

53:30

dave me the first time. We've

53:32

got a class action suit going on right now.

53:35

But there's there's a hot shot guy coming in from

53:37

Galaxy seven. You know they

53:40

have an alien lawyer represent well,

53:42

of course they do, I guess. So well,

53:44

anyway, do you mind about just gonna sack

53:46

up here and just take a little nap outside your front door

53:49

cooler? Sure? Yeah, as long as you're

53:51

outside. What

53:55

it surpleause you? If I told you? Okay,

53:59

are you in side my head right now? You

54:02

will forever be tortured for your

54:04

no. No, oh

54:07

god, I'm glad you're moved

54:09

here, alright

54:13

cthi cthing out here? Oh

54:20

god, what did you do? What

54:23

happened to happen?

54:26

So Martha feel free, of course to bring

54:28

in whatever referring do you want, but it would have to be on top

54:31

of Mrs Williamson's furniture. And

54:34

there's been a little issue. Okay,

54:36

my husband's gone missing. Okay,

54:40

but you're still gonna pay for the home. Well if there's no if

54:42

there's no husband, then there's no marriage, and there's no marriage,

54:44

that there's no home. Okay,

54:47

I just all right, okay, yeah, that's

54:49

fine. It's not fine, and that's okay to say

54:51

it's not fine. It's not fine because I needed this. I

54:54

need what do you need? I just needed to

54:56

sale. Do you need the money? Yeah? I have

54:58

had a lot of money. I'm not gonna

55:00

take your money. I'll give your money. I just don't have a

55:04

great love. And that's something I'm coming to terms

55:06

with. What is what do you love myself?

55:11

For the first time that why don't you spend money on that? Well,

55:14

the first thing I want to buy is whatever

55:16

you want to own? Money

55:21

buy you something? Is

55:23

this house on the market I'm

55:26

sorry interrupting. Nothing nothing, nothing, Yes,

55:28

this house is on the market. It was actually just put

55:31

up. It's a great place. I only have one

55:33

handkerchief. Can you guys share it to wipe your eyes?

55:36

It's a great place. Are you married? I'm no,

55:39

I'm not married, but I'm looking for a

55:41

little place to make my own. We're all looking, we're

55:44

all looking. What's happening?

55:47

I think a love connection. You want

55:50

to marry you and I want to marry you. Can

55:53

you? What

55:56

do you say? You're a single woman?

55:58

I'm a single woman. Colored you around

56:01

the air? What's what's your problem? I'm

56:03

in the triple marriage in a hunted

56:05

house, and we have our furniture

56:08

stacked on the other people's, which I thought wasn't

56:10

gonna be a big gilt, but it really is a bumber because the

56:12

chairs are wobbling and and the

56:14

other women love each other more than me. But

56:18

I said yes, and I sunk forty

56:20

grand into this. Okay, we got this question

56:22

a lot. Okay, what do

56:25

we do? What time is it? There? Two?

56:30

You just missed smoking

56:33

ted? What two

56:37

minutes late to light one up? I don't

56:39

know what to do? Okay, Well,

56:43

what are you wearing on your feet right now. This

56:47

episode is brought to you by Red Sox because

56:49

there are other colors, but like, are

56:51

there really Red Sox Marvin,

56:54

we just got another minute on the show. If you want

56:56

to wrap it up with this collar in any way you can

56:58

offer up some help. She's in uh flip

57:00

flops, I take it, miss and uh

57:03

while she's in this triple marriage and the furniture is

57:05

on the furniture whatever you want to throw

57:07

at her. Okay, thanks for the notes. Does that

57:12

did cut considerably into the final minute

57:14

of the show. I

57:17

think we still have time. Look,

57:21

there's probably is there a

57:23

Cathulhu in the basement of the of the house

57:26

HP Lovecraft, the noted writer, was

57:28

also the architect of that home, and

57:31

the beast Cathul who is currently living in the basement

57:33

probably getting in the head and offering

57:35

demonic visions and utterances

57:38

that people listening to. Now, I would get out of that house

57:42

and uh and slip on some Red Sox

57:44

are very comfortable and stylish. Where

57:46

should I go? Red Sox

57:48

dot Com for all yours sock needs,

57:51

well only one need, which is if you need red

57:53

socks, which you do, because like come on.

57:56

I love that tagline. Athe

57:59

music tells us Marvin that we're just about

58:01

at a time. Thank you, caller, if you'd like

58:03

to stay on the on the phone there, Marvin

58:06

will take your finish up your call after

58:08

the show ends. But we do need to wrap things up here

58:11

in the studio. What Marvin,

58:16

Yeah, that's that's a lie. I don't finish up the

58:18

calle

58:21

talking. Oh look, who's home? My sweetheart?

58:24

I have to leave? What do you mean to

58:26

leave? Drink this? What

58:28

is drink this to the basement?

58:31

Okay? Can we have one less host in the basement? Bring

58:34

her to the base? I guess I don't see why

58:36

not? Wait, Csulu, you're

58:39

in the basement now, you're gonna live here forever.

58:46

Marvin, are you still there? Whatever

58:48

you do, don't drink bleach. Okay, And

58:50

that's our show for today. Let's

58:53

thank all of our alchemists. Oh, Joey

58:55

Greer, what can you tell us? What do you want to say? I want

58:57

to say? Yeah, got

59:00

Westside Comedy Theater, pretty pretty pony, we got

59:02

what orange tuxedough. We got barrassed

59:04

by all great shows we all play over there. Check that out? Check

59:06

me on Instagram at Jemmy Greeber. Check out Goodnight

59:09

my album You're gonna like it's funds to sketch comedy

59:11

album with silly as Ship. The number one album in

59:13

the country right when number fucking one. Congratulations

59:16

on that. James Jeaney, you're always armed with paper.

59:18

I've brought some paper out. This is where you can find

59:20

me. That's just

59:23

can't tell literally the worst thing that's happened

59:26

to my paper. You know, one of them to find you? You

59:28

know your information, Greig

59:33

caw I guess, uh maybe

59:36

Van Morrison's astro weeks. Okay, I'll

59:38

go with Ascar

59:42

Twitter, Vanessa

59:44

Hope or at donnastu typewriter on Instagram.

59:47

Yeah. And Chris Alvarado, You're

59:49

welcome. That's exactly

59:52

right. Let's thank our engineering, the stars, Richard

59:54

doug By, our post

59:56

sound design artist, Raphael break

59:58

To, and I

1:00:00

heard media it

1:00:04

looks so good. I encourage all of you to write a review.

1:00:07

Tell everyone you've ever met and write to us at

1:00:09

your name here, and welcome to this dot com. Until

1:00:11

next time. I'm your host, Kevin Polla. Remember yes,