0:00

My name is Alex, and I have the coolest

0:02

parents in the whole world. No,

0:06

no, alright,

0:09

it will be alright forever, No,

0:15

al

0:18

right, will be all right

0:20

for ever. All

0:24

right, y'all. So I'm actually here with my

0:26

family and Utah for the holidays. I am

0:28

very, very fortunate, as I mentioned in the Christmas

0:31

episode, that I do get to spend the holidays

0:33

with my family, and I thought this would be the perfect

0:35

time for me to actually do the

0:37

episode that I've really really been wanting to

0:39

do since I started this podcast. I

0:42

want to introduce you to my parents,

0:44

but actually, like just me tell you about them before

0:46

you actually meet them. I

0:49

was the only boy, so I didn't have to ever fight

0:51

for like my dad's attention, or I never had

0:53

to like fight for tickets to the basketball game

0:55

or the football game. Um. But I got to

0:57

just hang out with my sisters, and I got to really get

0:59

into much with the beauty

1:01

that is femininity and the beauty

1:04

that is women, and I got to be a

1:06

real true mama's boy. And and my

1:08

sisters taught me how to talk to girls and how

1:10

to dress and and uh and

1:12

it was really a great setup. And and if you

1:14

know me at all, You'll know that I always say

1:16

that it's my favorite thing

1:19

about my life is my family and my parents,

1:21

including that. Um So, I thought

1:23

it would be an incredible idea to

1:25

have my parents on here and to talk

1:28

about what it was like being their kid, and

1:30

talk about what is like having them as

1:32

parents, and then talking about, you know,

1:34

what life is like now that I am twenty

1:36

four years old and I as much

1:38

as I'm still a mama's boy and I'm still

1:41

the best son in the world. How like they also

1:43

happened to be like my best friends in the whole

1:45

world. So it got me thinking, if

1:47

you could ask your parents anything, what

1:49

would you ask them? What's

1:54

up? Y'all? It's alex I. Oh no, this is my podcast.

1:56

Let's get into it where we really talk about

1:59

everything, and we don't We talk about

2:01

everything regardless of who's in the room, including

2:03

my old mom and dad. We're

2:06

gonna have a great time today. I'm

2:08

gonna paint the picture for you. So I'm at my parents house.

2:10

We have Mila and Sydney and Taylor and Halle

2:13

and the outside trying their best to not make

2:15

noise, but with a one year old that's pretty

2:17

tough. So if you hear anything coming from outside,

2:20

that's what it is. But also here

2:22

in this room, I've got my two favorite

2:24

people on earth, and I'm going to introduce you to

2:26

them now. First up, she

2:29

is not only the best mom in the world, but she's

2:31

also the best customer support

2:33

agent at Purple Mattresses. She

2:36

makes an incredible chocolate cake, and

2:39

she's most likely gonna cry

2:41

during this episode. My mom, Heather,

2:43

I own, Oh what's up? Mom? Thanks first

2:46

setting me up? And she's crying. And

2:50

Uh, the man that she's been with for the last

2:53

twenty nine years, twenty eight years, twenty nine years,

2:55

thirty years. More than that, he

2:58

is my best friend. He is

3:01

my number one fan. And um,

3:03

he taught me how to gamble and I won

3:06

some money last time I was in Vegas thanks

3:08

to that teaching. Uh, my dad,

3:10

Martin Ion, know what's up? Dad? How are

3:12

you all right? Son? Good to be here,

3:15

and I'm glad that you had a successful weekend

3:17

this weekend Vegas. So we have

3:19

some We have three interesting topics to talk about.

3:21

First one is New Year. Knew you in quotes

3:24

again? Uh that we're gonna be talking about the

3:26

big important questions. And lastly, we have an

3:28

A m A which is asked Me anything, or

3:30

in this case it's an A M P A, ask

3:32

my parents anything. I went on Instagram

3:35

and ask you guys to give us some

3:37

questions that you've always maybe wanted to ask

3:39

your parents or things that you were scared

3:41

to ask your parents. And my parents are going to do the heavy

3:44

lifting for all of us, which is great. But before

3:46

we get into that, I have a question that I ask all

3:48

of my guests, and that question is what are you doing

3:50

this week to improve yourself?

3:53

I will start this week. I've

3:56

been really focusing on this something my therapist

3:58

and I talked about a lot, because I think he

4:00

says I have anticipatory anxiety and

4:02

what I what comes with that is I always

4:05

focus on what's next, or what's coming or or

4:07

the future. And one of the biggest

4:09

things that I've been working on, especially this week leading

4:11

up to the holidays, and usually for me,

4:13

there's twenty million things

4:16

to do on my holiday's list, and I

4:18

want to make sure I get every single one of them done.

4:20

Um, but the biggest thing that I've been focusing on is doing

4:22

what's right in front of me. Doing the first like what's

4:25

like the next thing only and not focusing

4:27

on what comes after that. So

4:29

that's how I've been trying to improve my life

4:31

this week. But now that you guys have an example,

4:34

Mom, do you have something I do, it

4:36

kind of goes a little bit along with yours. I

4:39

was stressed with this week, starting

4:41

with trying to get Christmas perfect. You

4:43

know, it's like my favorite holiday.

4:46

I want to make sure everyone is equal

4:48

and fair. We have the right amount of

4:50

presents. Yeah, you definitely, you

4:53

always my mom. Make sure that you

4:55

always have like everybody has the same

4:57

amount of presents, like nobody has one more

4:59

one lass. But it's also fed into

5:01

me my sisters like death. If

5:03

she ever does mess up and one of us gets one

5:05

more, one less than she never hears the end

5:08

of it. So true. So

5:10

with everything being as it is this year,

5:12

I had to let go is what I

5:14

had to do this week and realize

5:17

it couldn't be exactly

5:19

how I wanted it to be, like with gifts,

5:22

and just focus on being

5:24

present. I actually have for the first

5:26

time. I have everything wrapped. I have

5:29

our ball game that we play every year. It

5:31

is like in the closet ready to go. I'm usually

5:34

making that ball Christmas Eve at

5:36

midnight. It's already so I

5:38

can be present since everyone is now

5:40

here in Utah with us. I like it. And

5:43

that was my That was my when I had

5:45

a few weeks ago, as I got my Christmas shopping done

5:47

super early. Dad, what you got? Um?

5:49

Mine is kind of similar to mom. I

5:52

really want to be present and

5:54

appreciate all four of my kids

5:56

and my amazing son in law, and especially

5:59

my grand baby. And so I

6:01

just want to sit back and absorb,

6:04

take it all in and enjoy the company

6:07

and and the spirit of each of them. Nice.

6:10

That's those are Those are good ones to have, and

6:12

they're great ways for us to get straight into it

6:14

because as much as we try and do things

6:17

every week to make ourselves better, we

6:19

are coming to the ultimate day of

6:21

of doing things to be

6:24

better, which is New Year's Day. Everybody's got

6:26

resolutions, and we're here now talking

6:28

about New Year. New you just

6:31

to kind of we'll we'll break the ice, will get comfortable,

6:33

and then we can get into some more juicy parents stuff.

6:36

UM, so let's do it. A lot of

6:38

people have advice about New Year's resolutions. Um,

6:40

some people don't like the New Years resolutions. Recently, actually

6:42

haven't really been into Year's resolutions because I

6:44

feel like the way that I used to

6:46

do them, which was like every day I'm working

6:49

out starting today, and I

6:51

realized that I would just totally fall off the wagon by

6:53

the second week of February or even the

6:55

second week of January or what about you guys?

6:57

Are you guys resolutions people? Um,

7:01

I've never been one like write it down,

7:04

keep track of it that way. I definitely

7:07

make goals in my head of things that I want

7:09

to do, but I try to give

7:11

myself some grace in

7:14

if I if I fail, even

7:16

if it's quickly on in the year, and

7:18

just also know that it's okay to

7:21

reassess and restart. I

7:24

like that dad. I used

7:26

to Mom knows there was a place in Hawaii

7:28

that I'd like to be um New

7:30

Year's Eve too and write

7:33

down my goals for that year. But at

7:35

that time, I think I was looking more for structure

7:37

in my life. These days, I think

7:40

starting uh fifty two

7:42

times a year is a lot easier on me, and

7:44

so I feel like I could start all over

7:46

each week starting quick. With some wisdom

7:48

there Martin, I feel like sometimes

7:51

for New Years, at least for me, I'll spend

7:53

half of the time thinking about the year that just

7:55

happened, and then I'll spend the other half of the time thinking, Okay,

7:57

what do I want to do this year? What's coming up this year? Um?

8:00

But this year, I feel like it's pretty it's pretty

8:02

easy for me to want to just think about what's

8:04

next and trying to figure out what's coming up

8:06

after this. But that being said, what do

8:08

you think is the most important thing that you guys learned in

8:10

a year like this that was super weird

8:13

and super dividing, and a

8:15

lot of bad stuff happened, and it definitely wasn't

8:18

the year that any of us were expecting it to be.

8:21

Um, I think it, just like

8:23

I said before, kind of to let go, let

8:25

go of those preconceived

8:27

things you think have to happen, and

8:29

you have to let go because we weren't in control.

8:32

There were so many things that normally were

8:34

in control of that we actually weren't

8:36

in control of this year, and we had to let go and

8:39

try to find the happiness in the

8:41

joy and what we did have control in,

8:43

and also to keep it simple

8:46

life was super simple for

8:49

most of the year. That being said, there

8:51

were some very hard times and sad times

8:53

when we couldn't be together, but we would

8:55

just make the best of it. When we one

8:57

of us was down, I feel like we tried to all

9:00

the rest pick up and pick

9:02

up the pieces and just try to stay positive

9:04

and keep it simple. I

9:07

agree. I agree. It's a very different

9:09

year, but you can look at it as the

9:11

glass half empty or that glass half

9:13

full. We uh,

9:16

your parents, We've got to spend a

9:18

lot more time this year together than

9:20

we ever have probably in our whole marriage,

9:24

and that's because of a lot of the circumstances

9:26

this year. Well look

9:28

at that. You guys are the first people have been on the show

9:30

that aren't like this year sucked, including

9:33

me. So all right, Well, now that

9:35

we have broken that ice, let's

9:37

get into parenting. It's what we

9:39

have that connects us to You guys are my parents. So um,

9:42

I feel like there's so many things that I've thought of

9:44

in my own childhood into my young adulthood

9:46

of like, oh, I want to make sure I do that when I have a

9:48

kid, or like I want to make sure that

9:50

I treat my kid like this, or my kid always

9:52

feels like this when you guys are growing up,

9:55

Like, what were your thoughts about that? Was

9:57

there anything specific? And we'll start

9:59

with you, dad, that like that made you go like, oh man,

10:01

when I become a dad, I definitely want

10:03

to be this, or like I definitely want to teach

10:05

my kids this. Yeah.

10:08

As a matter of fact, when I was dating

10:10

your mom, we

10:12

decided we dated for two weeks and decided

10:14

to get married. Oh yeah, we didn't even get to that

10:16

part yet. There's a long we're gonna

10:19

go. We're gonna crack into that in just a sect, but go

10:21

continue on. In that two weeks,

10:24

one of the things she shared with me was that

10:26

she'd never gotten a spanking from her

10:28

parents, and that blew

10:30

me away. Um, you

10:33

know, being from a Polynesian background

10:36

when I grew up, my my dad lad with the

10:38

iron hand, and so

10:40

I couldn't understand it when she told me, and I

10:42

thought she was joking. But as

10:44

we spoke a lot more in depth

10:47

about it, I made it a goal.

10:49

I said to myself, I want to

10:51

be a parent that doesn't punish

10:54

his children physically,

10:56

and I want to lead my family without

10:59

the eye in hand, I can proudly

11:01

say other than two times, which both

11:04

I deserved it. One I pete on my sisters

11:06

and two I choked my sisters with my bare

11:08

hands. Just just hallie, just

11:10

hallie. That was true. You did, you

11:12

did a good job. So congratulations on that,

11:15

Mom. Do you have anything specific? I

11:18

think I just wanted to have. I grew up with

11:20

great parents who I knew loved

11:22

me. But I think one it's a it

11:24

was a generational thing. Is I wanted

11:26

to be able to communicate because

11:29

I felt like there was a lot of times

11:32

and still as a struggle in

11:34

my family to always have open

11:37

and honest communication because

11:40

I feel like that's the only way to truly

11:43

be happy and to truly love each

11:45

other, and especially love

11:47

each other unconditional, which is so important

11:49

to me in capitalizing on on that

11:51

communication, son, I think

11:53

the most important thing you mentioned the two times

11:56

that you were spanked, but more

11:58

importantly was the communication and

12:01

how it played out, because, for instance, the

12:03

very first time was when you peet on your sisters

12:06

because they wouldn't let you play with them,

12:09

and we can all agree that was probably a pretty

12:11

valid reason to be on them. Yes, and

12:14

uh, but not

12:16

the right to take

12:19

um. However, I knew how you

12:21

were feeling. But if you remember,

12:23

we gathered as a family and had a family

12:26

meeting. We had a full family. It

12:28

was a full situation, and we discussed what

12:31

had taken place and and uh,

12:33

what you had done, and we also discussed

12:35

what you thought would be the right amount

12:37

of spankings. Uh, these

12:39

are bare butt spankings. And

12:43

by the way, I want you to know the seriousness

12:46

of this spanking. You got to choose,

12:48

and I don't know why. Yeah, at three

12:50

years old, for some reason, you chose the number

12:52

four. And I remember

12:55

my heart dropping and going, well, that's

12:57

a lot, okay, he said, four kids,

12:59

and and I chose four spanking had

13:03

known I was a weirdo of back then. I

13:05

was like giving four of them. Your

13:07

sisters were all crying after the first

13:10

everybody's crying. First crying, I'm crying, girls

13:13

crying. Dad's crying. Yeah,

13:16

that's tears. Hit my ass, my bare ass,

13:18

and it hurt a little bit more, staying

13:20

a little more, didn't it, gave it a little gave

13:22

it a little stinger. And then the second time was

13:24

very very similar, very similar. After

13:26

choking Hallie and I

13:29

thought she had stolen I thought she had stolen my candy.

13:31

And I think that's a pretty valid punishment for

13:33

the accusation of stealing. And I think we

13:36

had warned him once, like a really good warnings.

13:39

What do you mean? But

13:43

that also, if you recall, took

13:45

a lot of communicating and explaining

13:47

to you why it was happening. Once

13:49

again, you got to choose, and

13:52

um, luckily you didn't choose four.

13:54

You just chose three. Learned my

13:56

last and the fourth one is when the tear was on my ass

13:59

and it hurt. The good news

14:01

is that both of you guys's goals that you had have come

14:03

true because we are all great

14:05

at communicating, all all

14:08

six of us. I guess all eight of us now including

14:10

Mela is very good at communicating when she wants

14:12

stuff. But I want to go back a

14:14

little bit because you talked about, and I'm so

14:16

used to it that that that's how you and mom met

14:19

and how you guys got married. But when people

14:21

here that after two weeks of dating you decided

14:23

you're going to get married, uh, most

14:26

people's jaws just dropped to the floor.

14:28

So we need to hear a little bit more about how

14:30

that all went down. The first

14:32

night we went out, we kissed, and

14:37

the next fourteen days there

14:39

wasn't a day that went by it we didn't see each other. And

14:42

on the fourteenth day, right

14:44

around there, we were on our way to the gym,

14:46

it was like six third in the morning, and

14:49

uh, I asked you how

14:52

seriously you felt about us? And

14:55

you paused and thought about it, and then you said,

14:57

I'm seriously enough that if you were to ask me

15:00

married now, I'd say yes, and

15:02

that's it. And I said, well,

15:04

it's own, let's

15:07

get married. That is true. I

15:09

was nineteen um

15:12

and wasn't looking to get married by any

15:14

means. But when it's right and it's

15:16

the time, it's the time, you know it. We

15:18

were married almost a year from

15:21

that date. That is the exact

15:23

reason why I told so many women that I loved

15:25

them, because my parents had

15:28

that as the preface of what it is to

15:30

get married. So Uh, any

15:32

girls who are hurt from the

15:34

fact that I told them I loved them and then probably

15:36

broke up with them within that year, I

15:39

want you to know. That's why don't

15:41

blame me, blame my parents. It's their

15:43

fault. And then you guys. You guys

15:46

got married, So how do you before we get

15:48

into the parenting stuff, how do you guys feel

15:50

what is the secret to

15:53

having a successful and happy marriage? Man,

15:56

that was such a loaded question, that pretty

15:58

loaded. I would say, once

16:00

again, communication. You know,

16:02

we've definitely had a lot of bumps along the

16:04

road and in our thirty years.

16:07

But a couple of things that come

16:09

to mind for me. Um A term

16:11

that Dad introduced

16:14

to me was brutal

16:16

honesty, and it's

16:19

not always fun, but it's

16:21

definitely successful

16:24

in a relationship. So I would say brutal

16:26

honesty, communication, and

16:30

forgiveness and

16:33

fight for what you want. Definitely

16:35

fight for what you want. And we

16:38

were just talking about it, as we talk about

16:40

it quite often, how grateful

16:43

we feel that we've had

16:45

such an amazing life so far, and

16:48

how much we love our family and our children

16:50

and to watch them grow, to watch

16:53

them find happiness. And

16:56

after thirty years, I can honestly say

16:58

that I love your other more than I

17:01

loved her the day I married her. No,

17:04

it's really it's real though, it is true.

17:06

I feel exactly the same. We talked about

17:08

it often. That

17:11

makes me very very happy to hear so

17:13

I think the reason why a lot of people listen to this podcast

17:15

and the reason why I wanted people to hear

17:18

this conversation was because

17:20

a lot of people grow and learn over time, and

17:22

especially younger people are growing and learning over

17:24

time. And I don't think that that's necessarily something

17:27

in my conversations with plenty

17:29

of older people and and including

17:32

both of you, including old friends

17:34

and Sandy and Mickey uh saying

17:36

that that's like the most important thing is that you continue

17:38

growing, you continue learning, And I think that that's something

17:40

that plays into, um, what you both had

17:42

mentioned of like, you know, communicating

17:45

and fighting for what you really want. And

17:47

I think those are the foundations of things that

17:49

that should not ever stop happening. UM,

17:52

So what are ways that you guys continue learning

17:55

on your own and also together? I

17:57

would say, you know, I would learn a lot

18:00

actually watching you guys,

18:02

watching the kids and listening and

18:06

you guys open my mind to things that are

18:08

very current and ways of thinking

18:10

that we weren't raised, but we keep it,

18:13

keep an open mind, and UM,

18:16

love growing in that way and

18:19

love just learning all the time

18:21

watching other people, and I think talking about

18:24

it too. You know, once again, like I

18:26

think old school says,

18:29

you know, you don't talk about your issues, you don't

18:31

talk about what you've been through, but you're

18:34

what you're feeling. And I think now it's

18:37

so important that you just have to not

18:40

hold anything in and just communicate,

18:43

open up. I think another great

18:45

thing that your mom's taught me is the

18:47

difference between reacting

18:50

and responding. Such

18:52

a big difference. And I'd say

18:54

I was a pretty reactive young man, you

18:57

know, early in her marriage, and she's she's

18:59

taught me how to respond to things rather than

19:01

react right right, and

19:03

and that's I think those are nice things

19:06

to to not only have with each

19:08

other in a marriage, but also, uh, the

19:10

reason why you're here on this podcast

19:12

is because it's also good things to have,

19:15

like as a parent. So what was it

19:17

like raising us? Most importantly me, Well,

19:22

I have a scene and Dad always kind of rolls

19:24

his eyes a little bit, and I've altered it

19:26

over the years because I always just say, oh, I have I

19:28

have perfect kids, and Dad would

19:30

roll his eyes. No one is perfect, we know

19:32

that, but my scene is I have four

19:35

perfect in my eyes children.

19:38

So I think, you know, initially

19:41

when we first had Taylor and we

19:43

were so young, we really wanted it to be like,

19:45

Okay, obviously it's

19:47

she's going to change our lives, but we don't

19:49

want it to change it in things that we enjoy

19:51

doing. We wanted you all to be included

19:53

in our lives and what we do. UM,

19:55

and I think that was

19:58

like a big thing with us. You know, obviously there were

20:00

times and places where it wasn't appropriate

20:02

to bring four little kids to certain

20:04

events, but as long as it was appropriate,

20:07

you guys were there with us, and we

20:09

just went appropriate included you

20:11

in our lives so you could, you know,

20:13

experience the things that we loved that you guys

20:16

were there with us. I'm

20:18

looking at that picture behind you of Mom

20:20

and the four of you, and I remember, um,

20:23

that years right around two thousand, wasn't

20:25

it? Wasn't it two thousand and

20:28

UM? I can recall that we

20:30

hadn't even purchased our first home yet.

20:34

Um. We did later that year, but

20:37

looking at that picture, I reflect

20:40

back and think, man, we had it

20:42

all back then. We It wasn't

20:44

about getting the new house or

20:46

building the new house or any

20:49

other material things. It was just

20:52

having our family together and being happy.

20:55

That's nice, that's super tight.

20:57

I mean, I think that that's something that I

21:00

wanted to ask you, dad about, because

21:02

you mentioned like back then when we didn't own

21:04

a house or we didn't have this, we didn't have that before

21:07

we kind of had all grown up and I got to live the super

21:09

luxurious life that I did as a child.

21:14

Then, thank you, thank

21:16

you. Um But

21:18

but but in seriousness,

21:20

our household was pretty traditional,

21:23

I guess I'll say in the sense that mom,

21:25

once we were all as as we

21:27

were all home and growing up as children, you stayed

21:30

home for the most part. You worked a little bit for the airlines

21:32

throughout. But Dad, you worked a

21:34

pretty grueling schedule of work

21:36

to put food on the table. Plus

21:39

you know so much more than that. Um So

21:41

my next question is for you, Dad, which is how

21:43

did you balance working

21:45

your ass off and providing and doing

21:48

so much for the family on the work like away

21:50

from us, I don't never think about you

21:52

being like less of a good dad because you're always

21:54

gone. Like I know, there's a lot of kids who are like I don't even know. I never

21:56

had a relationship with my dad. I always

21:58

had a great relationship with you. I think all of

22:00

us did. But you also still were working

22:03

five six days a week, you know, big,

22:06

big, double digit hours. That's a good

22:08

question. I think I think you've inherited

22:10

it as well, the belief and

22:12

playing hard and working hard. We

22:15

always had activities as a family and

22:17

fun things to do, but we also had

22:20

our quiet time as a family where we

22:22

would just spend quality

22:24

time and not have to use an

22:27

activity to get out and go together. Um.

22:30

A lot of it is through trial and error too, and

22:33

time management. I look

22:35

back, and I might have a different point of view. I might,

22:38

you know, be thinking I wish I had spent

22:40

more time, or I wish I hadn't missed

22:43

out. You know, many times I did

22:45

miss out on the activities that you

22:48

and your sisters were doing or that you participated

22:51

in just due to work. But I

22:54

always fought included because Mom was

22:56

great with the video camera and I was

22:58

still able to feel like I was there. Yeah,

23:01

I mean, and I think we all felt the same,

23:03

at least on my end, at least, I've felt

23:05

we never missed a step. It was always like I can't

23:07

remember how many times would come and visit

23:10

you at work and you'd let me drive the golf card around

23:12

to the houses and all of those things. So I

23:14

think that it was more so a how did

23:16

you do that type of question more

23:18

than a how do you feel about

23:21

that? But you watched us go through

23:23

things that you might have either already been through

23:26

or you've already experienced, but we had

23:28

to learn the lessons for ourselves. You

23:30

saw us, you know, when

23:32

in stride, and you saw us being

23:35

stressed about everything from homework

23:37

to girls or or boys

23:39

or everything kind of under

23:42

the sun. And you guys are being parents. And

23:44

I feel like sometimes while you might have known

23:46

the answers, or you might have known

23:48

exactly what we needed to do or what we didn't need

23:50

to worry about. Um, you might have been your tongue

23:53

so that we could experience those things for ourselves.

23:55

But are there anything specifically that

23:57

you wish you could have told us?

23:59

You know that maybe in your mind you were like, man, you

24:01

guys are you're giving way too much energy to this

24:04

this stress or this worry.

24:07

I would definitely say like relationships

24:10

for sure, you know, as you guys got

24:12

older, I mean that was the hardest like

24:14

to see, you know, to even

24:17

kind of feel I never wanted

24:19

to be the parent who

24:21

was like I told you so, or you

24:24

shouldn't be friends with this person or that

24:26

person. But you know, we definitely

24:28

have our instincts, and when

24:31

I felt like maybe someone wasn't good

24:33

for you or one of your sister's, kind

24:35

of bite my tongue and let you write it out.

24:38

And then but at the same time, when

24:40

that person hurt you, which in my mother

24:42

heart I felt was going to happen, I

24:44

wish, like, man, I should have said something,

24:47

but I just didn't want to be that in

24:49

your face. Mother told you so. I mean, because

24:51

you do have to. You know, life is trial

24:53

and error and you have to do that. And unfortunately,

24:56

yeah, as a mom, as a parent and

24:59

mom or dad, it's very hard to watch

25:01

that when we know what the outcome is going to be.

25:03

But it's definitely important.

25:06

I think that we allowed you to do that. Yeah,

25:09

we wanted to make sure that you

25:11

experienced it for yourself and that

25:13

we weren't interrupting

25:16

your experience because of our views.

25:20

And I think that's probably one of the most

25:22

challenging things about being a parent, because you

25:24

have to be patient. We've had many many

25:26

conversations you know that we didn't

25:28

share with you or your sisters as

25:31

you were going through a lot of these experiences

25:34

that we really just had to keep to

25:36

ourselves and watch from the sidelines. Yeah,

25:39

I mean, I think there's a lot that goes into being a parent. I have never

25:41

even been a parent, and I know that there's a lot that goes into

25:43

being a parent. But I think even more

25:45

than the things that you guys had to go

25:47

through with us, which were normal, like dating

25:50

and what you just mentioned in the conversations

25:52

you have behind closed doors, you guys were parents

25:54

to a very unique situation, which was me, don't

25:56

go anywhere, I want to take this to

25:59

the next step up or I guess the next

26:01

piece of our conversation kick the

26:03

sisters out, because you guys also were

26:05

very You guys were parents to a

26:07

very unique situation, which was me wanting

26:10

to pursue dreams, really

26:12

chase after things. And if you've

26:15

for the listeners, if you've ever heard any

26:17

interview of mine where I reference what

26:19

it was like being, you know, growing up, and

26:21

what I attribute success to, the

26:23

biggest thing was having a family that believed

26:25

in me, having a family that supported me. And we

26:28

moved to Los Angeles from Arizona, UM

26:31

So I want to go back and kind of

26:33

relive that through your guys eyes, because I

26:35

know even in my own experience

26:37

that there were a lot of people, um

26:39

even today that would never do

26:42

what you guys did. I think most

26:44

parents will believe in their kid and buy them a guitar

26:46

if they want to learn how to play guitar, or maybe

26:48

they'll give buy them some singing lessons

26:50

or or help them do you

26:52

know one or two simple things that don't really

26:54

alter their own lifestyle. But you guys actually

26:56

were open to completely uprooting

26:59

out of Arizona in moving to Los Angeles.

27:01

So, in one giant loaded question,

27:04

what drove you to

27:07

do that? And what gave you the confidence that

27:09

it was not a wild

27:11

pipe dream? Not a wild

27:13

pipe dream? Son,

27:15

it was a wild pipe dream. I guess it was a wild pipe

27:18

dream. We just we you

27:20

know, it was very unorthodox, a very

27:23

unorthodox move that

27:25

we did. But you

27:27

know, you mentioned like some parents will

27:29

get their kids and guitar, you know, just

27:31

to suffice them

27:33

because they want to learn how to play guitar. You

27:37

were that and so much more because not

27:39

only did you want a guitar, you want

27:41

a piano and you wanted to

27:43

sing, and you would soar, and

27:46

if I was checking off the boxes, you

27:48

would sore in in those areas,

27:50

and so we knew you were serious. Um,

27:53

we know that it's not common for your children

27:55

to know what their dream is. However,

27:57

your three sisters, we look at them

28:00

in the same space as we look at you. They

28:02

just haven't told us exactly what they want to do. You

28:04

just happened to know that when you were young. Did

28:07

it warrant such an unorthodox move?

28:09

No, not necessarily, but at

28:11

that time when we moved, uh, this timing

28:14

seemed to be right. It was quite

28:16

a bit of a sacrifice, as you know,

28:19

moving from a seven thousand square foot home to a

28:21

little apartment, but

28:24

it was location and we

28:27

were on the beach. We were in California, where

28:29

your mom and I both grew up and wanted to

28:31

We yearned to get

28:33

back, but we didn't expect to be

28:36

on the beach. And if it was just

28:38

a small apartment, we'll take

28:40

it. And you know, it taught

28:42

us also to go back to more

28:44

of a minimalist type of lifestyle

28:47

because we had so much stuff. And

28:49

at that time, right before

28:52

moving, you too to California.

28:54

I thought stuff was important at that time as

28:56

a growing father and becoming

28:58

more and more successful. If

29:00

I were to do it again, I wouldn't concentrate so much

29:03

on stuff and really concentrate

29:05

on your sister's needs and your needs.

29:08

You know, when we first decided to move

29:10

to l a Um, it wasn't

29:13

just overnight. Obviously, it was watching

29:15

you. You had been asking it.

29:18

We knew you wanted to do it. We'd kind of thought,

29:20

oh, maybe he'll pursue it later in life. And

29:22

and the more we

29:25

saw this talent and you grow, and

29:28

we kind of, you know, let

29:30

you go out to l a kind of test the waters.

29:32

And of course all parents

29:34

think their kids are great, and like I

29:36

said, I have four perfect in my eyes kids.

29:39

And I believed you had talent. Dad believed

29:41

you had talent. But on

29:44

top of the talent, we saw the

29:46

drive you had, and

29:48

the work ethic and the desire

29:51

and but first and foremost on top of that

29:53

is how happy it made you. And I

29:56

would think that if anyone were to ask

29:58

my kids, what did your mom want the most for you?

30:00

I would hope that you guys would say, she wants

30:03

us to be happy. And I think that's

30:06

that was the biggest driver. I remember someone

30:08

saying to me, oh, you want to take your son

30:10

to l A to make a buck off

30:12

of him? And I was so offended

30:14

because I thought, first of

30:16

all, how dare you? But anyways,

30:19

I thought, no, you know what, look at him,

30:21

look at how happy? Well, I think I remember

30:23

who that was that to you. I got a

30:25

little black book. I'm not gonnae I got Arizona,

30:27

little black book of people who I've gotta who

30:29

I'm really gonna send Christmas cards to when

30:32

I when it's all said and done. But

30:34

yeah, I think it just was the happiness,

30:36

and it was for us. Like Dad

30:39

said, you know, we had had this stuff, We had had

30:42

this, that and the other, and it was that

30:44

isn't what brings happiness. It's

30:47

finding your passion, finding your joy,

30:49

loving fully and

30:51

um being there for one another, watching

30:54

your sisters support

30:56

you and sacrifice for you in the move.

30:58

To me, I'm that all we all grew

31:00

closer, our hearts grew bigger for each

31:02

other. And you

31:05

know, I do it again, do it again and again.

31:07

Mom and I were just talking the other week about how

31:10

we both talked so much about building the perfect

31:12

home, and that perfect

31:14

home. When we did build home,

31:17

you all had your own rooms, and

31:19

you all we had a big intercom system,

31:22

and we remember calling you guys for dinner

31:24

on the intercom, like in your separate rooms,

31:27

and we realized

31:29

that wasn't the life we wanted. We wanted to be closer,

31:32

and you know, moving to California

31:34

that put us closer. As you

31:36

know, we didn't have much furniture, and love

31:40

sex became our our furniture,

31:43

but it also became our kitchen. So

31:47

I think when I look at that

31:49

whole move in general, and I look at it,

31:51

I try and look at it objectively, and

31:55

when it comes to if we were

31:57

to take it not by we're just

32:00

calling it as it is. If it comes to that as like

32:02

an investment, like you invested in

32:05

my dream by moving me to Los

32:07

Angeles, I think it's

32:09

safe to say for me that like it was a good

32:11

investment, like obviously outside of what your

32:13

goal was, Mom of saying like me being happy

32:16

that happened, Dad, if we even based

32:18

it off of stuff and like experience and

32:20

getting to do it like I've been so lucky in my career

32:22

so far too to sign to a major label

32:25

and release songs and have gold records and

32:27

write songs for big artists and all these things.

32:30

But I think more importantly than

32:32

that for me was that, like you had mentioned,

32:35

we went from having our own space

32:37

to being forced to not have our own space

32:39

and create now what was actually

32:42

who we were as family, which was all being

32:44

together, so that it kind of laid

32:47

the foundation that now that we're again apart,

32:50

I think at that time really um set

32:52

a foundation of who

32:54

we were going to be as all as

32:56

adults now all as family, and it's

32:58

really made us you know, who we are now,

33:01

which is like just a bunch of friends.

33:03

I think that also just happened to be family

33:06

you mentioned before we go into this last segment

33:08

and then go into the A M. A. Dad

33:11

you had mentioned and Mom you had mentioned it as well, kind

33:13

of referencing raising each of us. So

33:16

how did you navigate raising

33:19

how do you navigate being a parent to four completely

33:22

unique people? Definitely

33:26

for unique people, Yep,

33:28

we definitely have that. UM. I think

33:32

it is just kind of giving everybody

33:35

their own opportunity. Like Dad said,

33:37

obviously you're dream

33:40

your passion of what you wanted

33:42

to do for the rest of your life came early,

33:44

and I think sometimes I could have also been hard

33:47

for your sisters because they're like, we don't know what we want

33:49

to do. And I don't want to say

33:52

you weren't normal, and like

33:54

your son, your brother is not normal. You guys

33:56

are normal. But at the same time, it's

33:59

you know, most ten twelve

34:01

year olds don't know exactly. I mean

34:03

they might by the time you're twelve, you've gone through

34:06

ten different occupations

34:08

that you would like to be. So it

34:10

was just navigating, listening to everybody,

34:13

providing opportunities for

34:16

them as well, and being sensitive

34:18

to each of their needs. And when

34:20

I say sensitive, you almost have to guess

34:23

ahead of time um on

34:25

each of your kids and be proactive

34:28

to their needs and what you might think

34:31

of their needs. And you're not always right, but

34:33

I think the effort. You know, I M

34:37

Taylor's your oldest sister. I try

34:39

to be sensitive to Taylor's needs um

34:42

as much as I am yours and your

34:45

needs. And you don't

34:47

even need me, you know, these days,

34:49

yet you're still our son, and we still feel

34:51

like we have to be here for you no matter what.

34:54

We know that your life isn't perfect. But

34:58

each of your sisters. You know, You're youngest

35:00

sister is twenty two, and you guys might

35:02

think we spoil her the most, and

35:05

we probably do. But um,

35:07

with parenting all four of you, by

35:10

time you get to the end, which is your

35:12

youngest sister, you kind of want to just say

35:15

yeah so

35:17

much right, Like you learn it's kind of like that commercial

35:19

where it's like first baby and you're like not letting it

35:22

touch the ground, and then it's like third baby and you're

35:24

just like, I don't know, given whatever you needs. Like it's

35:26

just really at this point whatever I

35:29

don't know. I I mean knocking knocking

35:31

on real wood right now, Um that I don't have

35:34

to be a parent anytime soon, because it

35:36

really is a journey. But I think this

35:38

weird idea that I've always had of like

35:40

I feel like when you're when you're really young, you

35:43

just think like your parents are invincible, they're not even

35:45

human. They're just like these amazing,

35:47

perfect superheroes. And then

35:50

as you get older in a good way

35:52

but also just in a very human way, you find out, oh

35:54

they're people. I'm in person, Like we're all people

35:56

and everybody's a person. I

35:58

want to ask you guys about that whole situation,

36:01

because I feel like, what

36:04

were your guys is I guess emotions

36:06

as we all became older and we all became old enough

36:08

to see you more

36:11

as as friends. UM,

36:14

I don't remember, like actually like a point

36:16

where it switched, but I do remember.

36:19

I remember hearing people say, oh,

36:21

my mom's my best friend, or my daughter's

36:23

my best friend, my son's my best friend. And

36:28

I didn't really grasp that

36:30

concept until maybe

36:33

just a couple of years ago, where I,

36:35

like you just said, if I had

36:38

to choose who

36:40

I could be with you know, or

36:44

who I want to be with the most, or who

36:46

I want to talk to, who I want to see, it's

36:48

true. It is it is the aid of us that are in

36:50

this house right now. And I

36:52

felt that way for a while, where I just genuinely

36:55

obviously another important

36:57

concept excuse me and parenting, I think,

36:59

is a difference between like and love. And

37:02

of course I've always loved

37:04

you, I've I will always

37:07

love you, and but how

37:09

life goes, there are times in life where

37:11

we might not like each other because of choices

37:15

we've made or differences

37:17

we're having. Arguments that might come up

37:19

but I

37:22

couldn't honestly remember

37:24

the last time I've thought to myself that I

37:26

haven't liked one of you, because

37:29

I like you so much. We are all very

37:31

unique, were very different. We have different

37:34

beliefs and um

37:37

things in our lives that we that

37:39

are important to some might not be the most

37:41

important to others. But it doesn't matter

37:43

because we like each other so much. We genuine

37:47

love each other unconditional, and I,

37:50

as a mom, I couldn't. I

37:56

couldn't have abous for anything else. At

37:58

sixteen minutes and ten seconds she

38:01

started, There we go, number of

38:03

crying Number two I would

38:06

have. UM. I can honestly say

38:08

I vouch for your mom. She's one of the most loving

38:11

people I know. But more importantly,

38:15

she has helped me co parents and

38:17

taught me not only to

38:19

love, but she's taught me words

38:22

like kindness

38:24

and tolerance and understanding

38:27

and patients. And these are things

38:29

that have been passed down to your sisters

38:32

and yourself that you

38:34

inherently get that

38:37

you may not have to pull them out to utilize

38:40

them or understand them yet, but they're

38:42

inherently in you and your

38:44

sisters. I

38:47

don't know what that feels like, but I

38:49

do know that I've been you know, I'm

38:51

I'm so lucky that I have parents who have been able

38:54

to understand that that

38:56

that we all kind of grow

38:58

And I think we got really lucky

39:00

that, like you said, we all like each other just

39:03

as much as we love each other now. But

39:06

the there's a lot of a lot of things that you guys say,

39:08

like in general, because most of the time when I have

39:11

guests on here, I can be like, oh, I totally relate

39:13

to that, but I really don't. I have no relation

39:16

to being being a parent, and hopefully I don't

39:18

have one. But maybe like in ten years

39:20

down the line, I'll be able to call you and be like, hey, remember

39:22

when you said that thing on my podcast. I get

39:24

it now here we are, um ten

39:27

years then they're old enough that they're not just

39:29

like little babies. So the

39:32

flip to that then is seeing

39:35

your kid grow up. And I know

39:37

that you I I'd

39:39

like to think that when you have a child, you

39:41

have like an idea of like, man, my kid's never

39:44

going to do this, or my my kid is

39:46

never gonna, you know, drink,

39:48

or my kids never gonna do that. And obviously I've

39:51

referenced it a lot in this podcast, how

39:53

we were raised and uh,

39:55

and how that's really shaped

39:57

who I am as a person, And it's really shape

40:00

to my personality, and it's really shaped my beliefs

40:02

and the and the faith that I have and in

40:04

and the the amount of important families

40:07

and all of these things. But just

40:09

as much as kids grow up and they find out that their

40:11

parents aren't superheroes, I think parents

40:14

watch their kids grow up and they find out

40:16

that no matter how hard you can steer

40:19

your children in the right direction, which is what

40:21

I think you guys did, inevitably, there's still

40:23

going to be human beings, and they're still going to be adults,

40:25

and they're probably going to differ in some ways

40:28

that you had originally not

40:30

planned for them to differ in. Um

40:33

So, I guess one of my last questions

40:35

before we get into this ask my parents

40:37

anything, is how do you navigate those feelings

40:39

when your children start

40:42

acting in ways? And this is for any parents out

40:44

there, not even just our family. How

40:46

do you navigate those feelings when your kids aren't doing

40:48

what you had hoped or originally wished

40:51

they would do. There are too many answers

40:53

for navigating your feelings. However,

40:56

I think if you know to love

40:59

your children and can, then

41:02

everything that comes your way or

41:04

their way is very

41:07

Uh, you can handle it. You

41:09

can deal with it. Yeah. I An

41:12

actual example came to mind is

41:14

I remember listening your dad came

41:16

home and he showed me, Um,

41:19

your gospel at twenty three songs. And

41:22

I remember listening to old a f and

41:25

you know, to be completely honest

41:28

as a mom. If I didn't love,

41:31

I don't love hearing you say

41:33

those words and UM,

41:36

but I listened to all the words. I listened

41:38

to it several times. And then I

41:40

don't know if you remember this, but I flew to l A,

41:44

I'm sorry, and

41:48

UM. We talked about

41:50

it. I told you how I felt. I asked

41:52

you if I could have done something

41:54

better as a parent to make

41:57

your life better. And you explained

41:59

to me your whole feelings

42:01

on writing it, and you explained everything, and I

42:03

was just at peace, and and

42:06

I knew that these were your words, these were

42:08

your truth. And as much

42:11

as you know, maybe if you've

42:13

made or make choices that are different from

42:15

maybe we would have written

42:17

on paper as what we outlined for your

42:20

life. The most important

42:22

thing. I've said this to so

42:24

many people, that is that

42:27

you have a heart of gold. You

42:30

are a good person. You even

42:33

if it's not the choices I would make, you're

42:35

a good person and you help and

42:37

you have this amazing sense

42:39

about you. So it's like that to me,

42:42

I'd rather you be there and be happy

42:44

than maybe, you know, being stifled

42:47

and not being your unique and

42:50

true self. Yeah, your

42:52

mom is. She's always been very

42:55

uh sensitive once again to each

42:58

of your needs, but a lot of them are

43:01

in this sense, was you know, her need

43:03

to express to you how um

43:05

it was so different for her, such a

43:07

big change for her. I, on the other

43:09

hand, I believe

43:11

in not blocking any

43:14

of the artistic vibes

43:16

or creativity. And

43:18

when I heard heard that, of

43:21

course, you know, the first thoughts are, man,

43:24

Will Smith never had to swear, you know,

43:27

and it was just because you had such a clean

43:29

upbringing. I remember reading on on

43:31

your YouTube videos, you know, people

43:34

saying how Chemey doesn't cuss, Well,

43:36

it's because people use profanity

43:39

as a descriptive words. We

43:41

both grew up in the ld S

43:44

faith, and so you

43:47

know, we were taught not to drink,

43:49

not to smoke, not to use

43:51

profanity and and so these

43:54

are things that oh,

43:56

you've seen us roll with, you know, as your

43:58

parents. But try me. They

44:01

haven't been that difficult.

44:03

They haven't been that challenging. It's

44:05

just been different, right, And I

44:07

think what you had mentioned earlier is like it was how

44:09

you two were raised, and you were raised,

44:12

I think it's also a much different generation. Um,

44:15

and then you come up and you have your

44:17

children, and it's it's impossible

44:19

to track. And this is something that I'm just

44:22

completely assuming is

44:24

you know, it's impossible to track where the world's going to

44:26

go. So you can't raise your kids in the perfect way to

44:29

act the exact same way when the world isn't

44:31

gonna give that same environment

44:33

that you guys were raised in. And I think

44:35

that that can be really, really hard, because

44:37

especially when it comes to religion, or when it comes

44:39

to faith, or when it comes to family values or any

44:42

of those things, it's hard to keep

44:44

those exact same family values when the world around

44:46

you is a complete one eighty. You know,

44:48

it's it's it's it's hard when

44:51

the you know, when the F word

44:53

at your guys generation was

44:56

used so sparingly that you would

44:58

genuinely be shocked when you hear the word

45:00

and now you walk outside and if you

45:03

if you don't hear it in a single conversation,

45:05

you're more surprised that you didn't hear those

45:07

words. And so it's little things like that that can

45:09

be really really difficult for a parent,

45:12

at least in my opinion. Um.

45:14

But at the same time, I think, I think about

45:17

so many ways that you have

45:19

You guys, as parents, have been amazing

45:21

in letting our different

45:25

lives that we've led in our experiences

45:28

that we've come to independently

45:30

as children, and then we come back and we

45:32

bring those to you. I think something that's been really

45:34

really awesome, especially you know,

45:36

I'll even say this last year with the

45:38

election and everything, and you saw so many trending

45:40

videos of kids yelling at their parents because

45:42

the kids supported one side and the parents

45:45

supported another side, or you have like you

45:47

know, there's everybody always uses the term old

45:49

heads, which is like, you know, parents who

45:51

are stuck in their ways, or older people who are aren't

45:53

willing to learn about the new generation or what's

45:56

going on. And I think one thing that I

45:58

will credit to you having

46:00

such a strong, open conversation relationship.

46:04

I think at this point, both of you guys know pretty

46:06

much everything I've ever done in in

46:09

terms of the good, the bad, and the ugly I've

46:11

I've been comfortable enough

46:13

to say, hey, do you guys know that I did this? Or

46:15

you've asked me even like, hey have you guys, have you ever done

46:18

this? And we can have you know. On the

46:20

flip side of that, son, there's

46:22

also when I say the flip side, we

46:25

were just talking about something that you've

46:27

done that has surprised us, some kind of took

46:29

us back. But on the other hand, you know,

46:31

there's a saying you learned from your children

46:34

too, and you know, the

46:36

first thing that comes to mind is your

46:38

support of lgbt Q. Mom

46:42

and I were raised that that was

46:44

totally on the other side of the fence,

46:46

and and we didn't know very many people

46:49

who were gay or lesbian or

46:51

different that way. And but

46:54

we what we did know is that we taught you and

46:56

your sisters to love people,

46:58

to love everyone, and not to judge. Those

47:01

are the two biggest things we've taught our children.

47:03

And so when we saw your

47:06

support for that, we had to face each other

47:08

and say, that's what we taught them.

47:10

We taught we taught our kids to love

47:12

and not be judgmental and to accept.

47:15

And so those old heads,

47:17

I totally get what you I know

47:19

what you mean by that, but that is also

47:22

purely an example of how we've

47:24

learned from our kids, and we're

47:26

never too old to learn. I think also too,

47:29

you just said something that made me think of something, which

47:31

is, like you said, the lessons that you taught, you

47:33

know, lessons that you taught us that might manifest

47:35

out in different ways than you had originally taught

47:38

them. You know, you said, love everybody, and

47:40

even though in your generation that

47:42

might have just meant make sure you give money to provide

47:45

food for the homeless of those who have least like it

47:47

can manifest into something completely different.

47:49

I think of I think of so many ways

47:52

in which I could twist and spin lessons

47:55

that you've you guys have both taught me into

47:58

things that I do on our everyday basis. I

48:00

think of quality over quantity

48:03

and everything in moderation. When

48:05

I think of the times

48:07

that I decided to try drinking, or the times

48:09

that I that I smoked or or would

48:11

do this or that, and and and I think that

48:13

that's something also that

48:16

you can't. Are we gonna have to give

48:18

him a third that

48:20

you can't you know, those are things

48:22

that you can't you don't know, like, oh, I actually taught

48:25

him that. And and there's so many lessons if

48:27

any, if anything, all of the lessons that

48:29

I've applied to my life would be lessons

48:31

that I learned from me. Whether it's whether it's quality

48:34

over quantity, or you know, it's all about

48:36

good food, good family, and good music

48:38

and things like that, all of these lessons that we

48:40

learned. Um and so I think as we

48:43

close out this segment and we get into this A

48:45

m A, it has been so cool

48:48

getting to feel and

48:50

experience every season that is being

48:52

your guys son and getting to experience that.

48:55

We went from a stage where I and you'll

48:57

hear in my podcast with my sisters about

49:00

out the time that I got caught making out with

49:02

Jamie Arrato and I had

49:04

to come home and I had we had the talk of

49:06

you know, being disappointed in me all

49:09

of those little things, getting spanked at, you

49:11

know, at three years old for peeing on my

49:13

sisters and all that stuff too. Even now being

49:15

an adult and being able to like tell

49:17

you guys like, hey, guys, I tried this or

49:20

I tried that. Check this out. And and you,

49:22

as incredible listeners

49:25

and learners as well as incredible teachers, get

49:27

to provide this open space

49:29

that we can come home for Christmas. Whether

49:32

we all come from different walks of life that year,

49:34

we are all completely unified that year. Especially

49:36

this year, we've all been so isolated from each

49:38

other that we get to come back here and

49:41

we feel so open and loving. So

49:43

I want to thank you both for being the

49:45

best parents that you guys are and

49:47

providing the environment

49:50

that helped me at least and and and I'll

49:52

speak for the girls as well, and them as well become

49:55

who who we are and and get to apply

49:57

all that in our lives. Um,

49:59

we're gonna take a quick break, and when we come back,

50:02

we have the A M A which is asked me

50:04

anything, or also known as the A M P A, which

50:06

is asked my parents anything, don't go

50:08

anywhere. Al

50:11

Right, we are back. This is let's get into it. I'm with

50:13

my parents and we've had like I feel like this episode

50:15

is definitely unique than more

50:17

unique than the other ones. I also realized like halfway

50:19

through this episode that my my own

50:22

energy in this episode is different, and it's because

50:24

I'm talking to my parents. UM, so

50:26

cheers to that. Mom, Dad, how you is doing? We're

50:28

doing great? Yes.

50:31

So I went on my Instagram and

50:34

uh, and I asked all of the fans

50:36

to hit me up with questions that they wish they

50:38

could ask their parents, or questions

50:41

that they just want me to ask you about

50:43

us. So we're gonna start super easy

50:45

and uh. And the first question is how do you feel

50:47

about my hair? Do you like it long? Or do you want

50:50

me to cut it? I think you're a beautiful

50:52

hair and it's long and as

50:55

sorry now, um, I don't know

50:57

if everyone knows, but we didn't cut Alex's

50:59

hair to he turned three, so he had long

51:01

hair as a little boy and

51:03

I loved it and he had the curls and

51:06

I think it's beautiful long hair. I

51:08

do love his

51:10

his face with the sides,

51:13

like when his side just to be super short. But

51:15

I like it now how you can pull it back and

51:17

I see that. Um, but I say,

51:20

whatever makes you happy, you have good

51:22

long hair and lose

51:25

the mustache. They definitely

51:27

hate the mustache.

51:28

Facial hair.

51:30

They do not like they do not like

51:32

the facial hair. But you know what, that's

51:34

okay, that's totally fine. Okay.

51:37

So this question is from sid

51:39

dot lou how did they birth beautiful

51:42

Sydney and then follow up with a toad like

51:44

you. Um, that's from my sister and

51:46

we're gonna we're not gonna take that question,

51:49

thank you very much. UM. Here's

51:51

another question. Speaking of sisters, here's a question, hallie

51:53

ion know how are babies made? Oh?

51:56

Wow? Did we never

51:58

tell her? No? Do you know what's really funny? Did

52:00

you know that you, at least with me. You guys never

52:02

had the talk with me. I thought your dad,

52:04

did I give that this was the talk. This

52:07

was the talk. And I don't know if you remember this, Dad,

52:09

but this was the talk that I do. At this point, I was eighteen,

52:11

I was dating a certain person, um,

52:14

and I think literally

52:16

the conversation was like, hey, son, I

52:18

don't know what you're doing out there, but just be safe,

52:21

all right? And I was like, all right, thanks dad.

52:23

Wait wait wait, because I didn't think that was

52:25

the talk. I thought the talk was when

52:28

you were in seventh or eighth

52:30

grade and you came home and you told me

52:32

something that happened with a young

52:34

lady, and I

52:36

tried my very best to

52:39

not be surprised, but we did

52:41

have a little talk about young ladies

52:43

at that time. I

52:46

don't remember that. Um,

52:48

this is a fun question. How would you

52:50

say your guy's parenting style is

52:53

different than your parents parenting

52:55

style? We already talked about the communication

52:57

mom, we already talked about the iron fist Dad, But

52:59

like, what else do you feel like it was really

53:01

different in the way that you guys decided to parent.

53:04

Our parents came from such a different

53:07

era, and I

53:09

think that we've just trusted each

53:11

other and talked about it, you know,

53:13

the decisions we've made as parents before,

53:16

during, and after. But

53:19

I definitely would say that your mom

53:21

and I put communication

53:23

up there first. Where I never

53:26

really saw my parents communicate,

53:28

let alone be Um,

53:31

they weren't outwardly loving and

53:34

they didn't show a lot of what

53:37

an intimacy either, you know, or

53:39

so we never really saw romantic moments.

53:41

But somehow I grew up in a family of ten

53:43

kids, so yeah,

53:46

yeah, yeah, you know, had to happen somehow.

53:49

Yeah, But I just think

53:51

that parenting changes with eras Also,

53:54

Yeah, I think you definitely have to be

53:56

flexible. I mean, because we

53:59

what we did is we took the good things from

54:01

our parents, and I think that's kind of what

54:04

I hope this for you all, is that you take

54:06

the good things that you had as your parents

54:08

and you enhance it and

54:10

you make it even better. I'm not going to say

54:13

I am a better mom than my mom was, but

54:15

I hope that I took things traits

54:17

from her and then

54:20

I just made it better for your

54:22

generation. And I hope that's

54:24

what I hope for you guys. I love that.

54:26

I love that. So this one's

54:29

this one is a little bit more personal. When was the first time

54:31

that you guys were disappointed in me? They're

54:34

asking some really good

54:36

one. I mean, which time?

54:41

No, I mean honestly, and we talked

54:43

about it a lot. Is the I

54:45

just didn't know how to handle when you peete on your

54:48

sisters like that. To me, I was I

54:51

grew up with only sisters, so such

54:53

a boy thing to do, and I just

54:55

was like, that's why I just put its

54:58

seriously grossed out where

55:01

I was laughing and I thought

55:03

it was funny, but I knew the seriousness

55:05

of it, and I knew you know that we

55:08

had to approach it as parents,

55:11

and uh, but I don't think that was the first

55:13

time I was man, I just pointed

55:15

me before that I was like three years old. Are you going to be disappointed

55:17

with me? And three years old or younger? I

55:19

know, the first time I can think of that

55:21

I was disappointed. I had taken

55:24

you to the Super Bowl and

55:27

we had the hookups to where we were able

55:29

to go and watch the Arizona

55:31

Cardinals practice for the Super

55:33

Bowl. At that time,

55:36

we were able to like go and

55:38

get signatures, and I wanted

55:40

you to go get one from Larry Fitzgerald,

55:43

and for some reason you just froze up

55:46

and you you wouldn't go over and

55:48

get it. And I remember getting frustrated

55:50

with you and saying, so I go over there, and I almost

55:52

had almost like push you over there.

55:55

So I don't know if that's the disappointment

55:58

as a word, but once you know, I had pete on my sisters

56:00

for it had been nine years now since

56:02

I pete on my sisters, So you weren't disappointed.

56:05

We have to point out the fact that we can we

56:07

just say it as it is now. You were not disappointed

56:09

when I Pete on my sisters. I

56:11

was not disappointed. It's

56:14

a guy thing. I actually totally remember

56:17

that, and I remember just being I don't even know what it was. I

56:19

can't remember why I didn't go up to Larry. But

56:21

Larry, if you hear this, I'm going to find

56:23

you one day and take a picture with you so that my

56:25

dad can be proud of me again. Next

56:28

question, what are your best tips

56:30

for your children becoming independent slash

56:32

becoming mature? Let them

56:35

try trial and error, giving

56:37

them the opportunity talking

56:39

about it, giving advice if

56:42

they if you feel like it's super important

56:44

for their safety or whatnot, or if it's asked

56:46

for. But I think just

56:48

giving them the freedom for the trial and error.

56:52

I know this saying is used a

56:54

lot, but it was so tried and true,

56:57

and that don't be afraid to fail. It

57:00

makes you tougher and

57:03

you learned from every failure. Don't

57:06

be afraid to fail. Don't be afraid to fail. I like

57:08

that. This next question it

57:11

is uh, it's this one's an interesting one. What's the

57:13

hardest thing that you ever

57:15

had to say to us as kids? Son

57:19

you're adopted, What

57:25

was the hardest thing I feel like

57:27

to me if if I if I can add

57:29

my I would say the hardest thing that I in

57:32

my memory that you told us was when we

57:34

came we were driving home from the cruise

57:36

and you told us that that our dog

57:38

Tate had died while we were on our cruise.

57:41

Yeah. UM, I think death is a hard one.

57:43

Um. You well, you weren't born, your

57:45

and your sisters were young when nana

57:48

um passed away. Um,

57:51

we had Papa passed away and we

57:53

had passed away. Um.

57:55

But death is hard and even though

57:57

it's part of life, that one really

57:59

does stand out when Tate when

58:01

we got off the cruise and we knew during

58:04

the whole cruise because it happened at

58:06

the beginning of the cruise and the

58:09

person, the friend that was watching him

58:11

for us, was able to contact

58:13

this earlier in the cruise, but we chose not to

58:16

tell you till after. Yeah.

58:18

I think that's probably the hardest in my memory

58:20

would definitely be Tate when

58:23

when you guys let us know about that. But like you mentioned,

58:25

yeah, unfortunately there's gonna be hard conversations

58:27

to have. But let's let's dance over

58:29

to some some more fun stuff. How did you come up

58:31

with all of our names. So Taylor

58:34

Taylor's name is Taylor Tamari and

58:36

Taylor is my mom's maiden name,

58:38

and Tomari is dad's mom's maiden

58:40

names, so she got her grandma's maiden names. Nice

58:43

Sydney is Sydney Lee. Lee

58:46

is my maiden name, so that was her middle name,

58:48

and Sydney it was actually

58:50

Grammy's hairdresser. We

58:53

were going to possibly name her Samantha, but I

58:55

just don't love Samantha for her, and then

58:57

it was Grammy's hairdresser said Sydney. And

59:00

her name is spelled s I d any Y

59:02

because I loved the name Sydney

59:04

and she was not named after Australia. And

59:07

then you. I before,

59:10

when we had the two girls, I wanted

59:12

a girl named Alex and Dad

59:15

didn't like that name for a girl. So when

59:17

you were born, actually when we were

59:19

dating, we both liked the name Ian for a

59:21

boy, and when you were born, you

59:24

just were not in Ian, and

59:26

so I and ion O though, that's

59:28

that's I mean, you can't get a stronger name

59:30

than I and ion Oh. We had said that to someone

59:32

and they said E I E I O and so

59:35

kind of it sounds like. So

59:38

anyways, when so we're like, well, what about alex

59:41

And then we started going We said Martin.

59:44

I love the name Martin, but Dad didn't want

59:46

that, and so I said, okay, well

59:48

how about Martin Alexander. You're not a junior

59:50

but and we'll call him Alex. And so that's

59:52

how he came up with your name. And then Hallie,

59:55

right Hallie. I

59:58

wanted to name her Sloan because as

1:00:00

I was at an amusement park and there were

1:00:02

four kids and their their kids

1:00:04

were Taylor, Sydney, Alex and Sloan

1:00:06

no joke. When I was pregnant with

1:00:08

Hallie, and I was like, I love that, and they're all kind of

1:00:10

like unisex names, and so I was like, okay,

1:00:13

we'll do that. And then where she was

1:00:15

born and um, I said

1:00:17

that name, and Dad I could just see on his

1:00:19

face he did not like that name. And

1:00:22

but while while I was pregnant with Hallie,

1:00:24

the second parent Trap came out and

1:00:27

one of the twins, played

1:00:30

by Lindsay Lohan, her name was Hallie.

1:00:32

And I would watch the credits of every movie I watched

1:00:34

when I was pregnant with all you guys to see the names, and

1:00:36

her name was Hallie h A L L I

1:00:38

E. And that's where she came from. I

1:00:41

like it. I like it hall Elizabeth

1:00:44

Elizabeth in her middle name. Good

1:00:47

names names for some good

1:00:49

kids. Um, well, listen, we have time

1:00:52

for I think one more question,

1:00:54

and I want to make it a juicy one. This

1:00:56

person says, I'm a first time parent. How

1:00:58

do I stop feeling aulty for standing

1:01:01

up for my own parenting? For

1:01:03

me, it goes back to kind of what I did

1:01:05

this week, and give yourself

1:01:08

the space, give yourself the grace and the

1:01:10

space to be

1:01:12

the best you can be. I don't think you

1:01:14

ever need to apologize. I have a joke I

1:01:16

always say if I've done something like

1:01:18

and I'll be like, oh, mother of the Year, I won the award

1:01:20

right there, allowing myself

1:01:23

knowing, Okay, probably wasn't the best

1:01:25

parenting or my shining

1:01:27

is moment as a as a mom, but

1:01:30

allowing almost make a joke out of it, because

1:01:33

all I can say is I tried to be my best.

1:01:35

I've tried to improve. I've watched

1:01:37

other people to to get tips, read

1:01:40

you know this, that and the other to

1:01:42

try to do the best. But you also have to dig down deep

1:01:44

get that instinct, that motherly, fatherly

1:01:47

instinct that is there

1:01:49

I believe in anyone, and just do your best and

1:01:52

give yourself that space, but not beat

1:01:54

yourself up. That's exactly what I was gonna

1:01:56

say. Don't beat yourself up. Just put your

1:01:58

best foot forward, like Mom

1:02:00

said, with your motherly or fatherly

1:02:03

instincts, trust them,

1:02:05

and just try to do your best.

1:02:07

Don't beat yourself up. I would say.

1:02:09

My takeaway is that and it's something that you guys did.

1:02:11

And I think from the beginning of this episode you've identified

1:02:14

that it's something you did, which is um.

1:02:16

You obviously had your goals for us. You had

1:02:18

what you wanted to be as parents, from being communicative

1:02:21

and leading with love and not necessarily

1:02:23

and iron fist. And as we grew

1:02:26

up and we're adults now and we're

1:02:28

all everybody in this house except for Mila, is

1:02:30

now like a full blown adult with our own life.

1:02:33

You guys excelled in your

1:02:36

understanding that you won't be that, you

1:02:38

won't be perfect. It won't be perfect, We won't be

1:02:40

perfect. Nothing is going to be perfect. But

1:02:43

you guys, you guys excelled in and doing

1:02:45

your best and and really as

1:02:47

as cheesy as the line is forgetting the rest.

1:02:50

Um. But thank you both for taking

1:02:52

some holiday time to be on this podcast.

1:02:55

We're getting paid for this, right, so we'll

1:02:59

figure stulf thing out after this. Um. But right

1:03:01

now this is Usually it's with people who are

1:03:03

promoting projects or anything. UM.

1:03:05

But I think you guys are just such clowns

1:03:08

that let's tell everybody your Instagram so that they

1:03:10

can find you on Instagram.

1:03:12

It's called not so shameless promo. Mom, what's

1:03:14

your Instagram handle? My Instagram

1:03:16

is has h e z as in zebra

1:03:19

Iona has Iona dad Uh

1:03:22

It's Martin iona a i

1:03:24

O n oh and you know me alex Iono.

1:03:27

Best part about having a weird last name you do not

1:03:29

have to worry about having a

1:03:31

h an interesting tag. Um. But

1:03:33

guys, thank you so much for coming on. Thank you

1:03:35

for listening to the podcast. Please make sure

1:03:37

you rate and subscribe. That is how we

1:03:40

grow. I love you, guys.

1:03:43

I'm gonna go enjoy a bunch of cinnamon rolls and Mom's

1:03:45

chocolate cake. I'll see you guys later weeks.

1:03:53

We really want you to get the help you need. So if

1:03:56

you need help, please seek independent advice

1:03:58

from a competent healthcare or mental health professional.

1:04:01

The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are solely

1:04:03

those of the podcast author or individuals participating

1:04:05

in the podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia

1:04:08

or its employees. This podcast should not be used

1:04:10

as medical advice, mental health advice, counseling,

1:04:12

or therapy. Listening to the podcast does not established

1:04:15

doctor patient relationship with hosts or guests

1:04:17

of ALEXIONO, Let's Get Into It or I Heeartmedia.

1:04:19

No guarantee is given regarding the accuracy

1:04:22

of any statements or opinions made on this podcast.

1:04:25

Well, if that's a doozy