0:00

On. March Fifth, Twenty Twenty Two

0:02

Walker Mcfadden a sixteen year old,

0:04

was working with his father on

0:06

the construction site of the home

0:08

their family was building when he

0:10

was involved in a horrific accident

0:13

that instantly took his life with

0:15

his father looking on just feet

0:17

away. In the days, weeks and

0:19

months since walkers passing, his family

0:21

has been left to pick up

0:23

the pieces and along the way

0:25

they've discovered that Walker lives. It

0:27

is the miracle we celebrate at

0:30

Easter. The knowledge that because Jesus

0:32

Christ died for ice and then rose

0:34

again on the third day, We also

0:36

will lead again. Camera

0:39

Mcfadden and her family have lived

0:41

in many places but currently call

0:43

Utah Home. She and her husband

0:45

Robert are the parents have six

0:48

children and guardians of three children.

0:50

She currently serves on the Young

0:52

Women General Advisory Council. This

0:59

is all and and Lds Living Podcast

1:01

where we asked the question what does

1:04

it really mean to be all End

1:06

The Gospel Of Jesus Christ? I, Morgan

1:08

Pearson and I am so honored. Tab

1:11

Sister Tamra Mcfadden on the line with

1:13

me today. Camera welcome a few! I'm

1:15

so happy to be here! Will I

1:17

Wanted to start as I You As

1:20

I prepped for this interview I learned

1:22

that you and your husband and your

1:24

family have lived many different places am

1:27

your husband has talked openly online. About

1:29

how you've been through some difficult

1:31

things even financially and you've experienced

1:33

a lot of highs and lows

1:36

as a family, I wondered how

1:38

has all of this shaped the

1:40

culture? Of your family. Well.

1:42

That is a that's a funny

1:45

question. Actually, it wasn't always a

1:47

question. Like

1:49

this. But. Your home

1:51

where my dad had the same job and

1:53

we lived in the same place for most

1:55

of his our lives and so Mary and

1:57

I'm married, his entrepreneur and. I.

1:59

Did. The know what that meant. He was a

2:02

builder so we will build and sell and

2:04

build and sell And we've moved a time.

2:06

I'm around twenty five area When our

2:08

children were little. And he became

2:11

the developer. Was. Free little bit

2:13

more stability, less movie and be remodeled a

2:15

home. Thought we'd live there forever and then

2:17

there is a press. The other the real

2:19

estate market. Price than two thousand

2:21

and eight and we will literally be lost. anything. And

2:24

it was hard and in the his

2:26

company that he works for all of

2:28

the owners and gone bankrupt and lesson

2:31

to everybody just. Kind.

2:33

Of really him and we've tried to hang

2:35

on to. Everything you know temporally

2:37

and the claims is lost. Everything

2:39

lost her home. And

2:42

we had a movie in and renting this

2:44

house and. Was interesting about

2:46

that story is or that

2:48

experiences that Fenwick. Change.

2:50

The it it was a something that happened

2:53

in that a hard is that really kind

2:55

of started a different course for me or

2:57

is strengthen the course that I knew I

2:59

needed to be on and i remember. Ah,

3:02

How these little silver and. We

3:05

couldn't really see. Them and yes he has soundly

3:07

that helps everyone style and we had me could go

3:09

to them. And yes, obviously we can resell it for

3:11

this up. but we really felt like I say i.

3:13

Do this on with i figure this out your

3:15

this is our our mess to clean up right

3:18

where the that was wrong a riot police all

3:20

and I remember one night I was. An

3:22

couldn't sleep because I think needs fed are and

3:24

pancakes late sixties my like my father I don't

3:27

know how to do this and how make and

3:29

feed my family and. And please

3:31

Help us. And I couldn't really quite have the answer

3:33

to this prose I was seeking. And. Still,

3:35

Have my license and have fallen apart in some

3:38

ways. I went out to

3:40

the living room and I. Knelt

3:42

down as the cows and everything sleeping with

3:44

in Melbourne I am I saying the fray

3:46

and I. Am A. I

3:48

loved afraid but I had never think this prayer

3:51

like this for went into the night like it.

3:53

It's the only thing that reminds me the in

3:55

a fiery this radius and I prayed and prayed

3:57

and prayed and I poured my heart out. The

4:00

ride an I told him everything I sell

4:02

and every concerned, every worried, every chair and

4:04

I just put it all out there and

4:07

I prayed so long. And

4:09

I wasn't really receded and else I just

4:11

prayed. So long and that

4:13

I was so tired and so I remember. play

4:15

had a blazer aswell mean I've told myself flop

4:18

on the couch and I. Laser.

4:20

On the closer look at the

4:22

ceiling and I heard three words.

4:25

I. Heard a voice that said i

4:27

got you. And

4:30

it was. Was

4:33

just as a I was so unexpected

4:35

I did not express. That

4:37

the com the I mean I i know how

4:39

to get answers to prayers that it was so

4:41

clear and as I lay there I just swept

4:44

I mean I broke and it's will get into

4:46

tears I saw as and I heard the words

4:48

again I thought you. And it

4:50

down moment was the moment that

4:52

I realized that. I. Mean

4:55

I know I'm not alone by and I know

4:57

that my at least other and but he here's

4:59

my prayers But it was the moment that I

5:01

knew the cedar had sewn up from he he

5:04

sewed up for me and it started this course

5:06

as. Kind. Of

5:08

believing and understanding that. I.

5:11

Don't have to do this life alone

5:13

right? A Didn't change. Nothing's changed. It's

5:15

it's it's a lot of time for

5:17

I see about up on our feet

5:19

said. It allowed me aside

5:21

and follow the savior and sex of

5:23

personally and so then from there. We

5:26

moved from Connecticut to Texas

5:28

to Seattle. To Australia and in

5:30

fact, in Connecticut. And now we're here

5:32

and he saw and and in this

5:35

moment when you asked how this. Seat

5:37

the pulsar of our family. We is a

5:39

we live in a place and you salary

5:41

on ninety nine Point Nine percent of the people

5:43

believed like we believed. To

5:45

have place in Eastern Connecticut where we

5:48

were the only members of our faith

5:50

in this town. So my since we're

5:52

the only members of their faith in

5:54

their schools. And that people

5:56

I know we don't say Mormons anymore, but

5:58

people didn't know. What what?

6:00

I've been a number of. It's Hurting Jesus

6:02

Christ of Latter Day Saints was he hadn't even

6:04

heard the term one that looks with a particular

6:07

true my. Friends we were found

6:09

myself found themselves in this place

6:11

like. You. Know what kind of a wake

6:13

up call for everybody and I had tried to prepare them

6:15

and we had plans and we talked a lot. but what

6:17

does it? Is it? The United. Are soundly if

6:20

we were super. Conducted we have

6:22

each other, we had to be all

6:24

in kind of together. And. Our

6:26

southern explains a lot and Assange and.

6:29

And then what was really amazing as the.

6:32

Week Strength: A lot of diversity

6:34

in backgrounds and religion. And beliefs

6:36

and cultures and we learned so

6:39

much and. We'd have less the only

6:41

met so many great people and what's.

6:43

That. When it hit for my kids are that

6:45

Be team they became adaptable and resilient and

6:47

we have friends all over the world although

6:49

the United States and all over the world

6:52

I I I had a cell said I

6:54

would say. To. Leveling father

6:56

and I the I think he has a sense of

6:58

humor as. I won't cause

7:00

I everywhere he put me I would love it

7:02

you know and then and then something would happen

7:05

in the spirit would tell us it was signed

7:07

and will begin and end. This felt like a

7:09

curse to me and my this is that how

7:11

I grew up the wisest My life had a

7:14

white sheets easy my children's lives and. And.

7:16

I would make a joke that I'd have the

7:18

as an angel what happens here to me to

7:20

get me to move. And once he

7:23

landed in Seattle which we loved so much,

7:25

we were thrive in. Our kids are thriving.

7:27

And. Then we had this experience it to

7:29

the see I didn't have the necessary to

7:31

help the census Australia I made itself and

7:33

said even as an angel combined that movie

7:36

night that smell I know thought. I

7:39

read I was like you said you were.

7:41

You would never expect me to move again.

7:43

right? But I learned to start.

7:45

Fighting God like. She

7:47

went anyway. So why fight

7:50

amazed by base? It

7:52

became instead of a curse it became the

7:54

shoes his blessing for. Me and my soul. And

7:56

to. I don't know. see

7:58

other places and learn. The other people

8:01

and. Like. A says he

8:03

became super adaptable and super resilience.

8:05

A the same be straight and sensors

8:07

and even in the difficulties right? Years and

8:09

if somebody that we me guys right not in

8:12

our comfort even if somebody that somebody the news

8:14

difficulties which are none. The. Hardest things

8:16

but this was hard at the time.

8:18

We had the greatest thing. That's

8:21

awesome. While I have to say

8:23

I have learned firsthand that you

8:26

do have friends everywhere. And

8:28

I admire that quality so

8:30

much. We are going to

8:32

it's Hot today about something that happened

8:35

to your family a couple of years

8:37

ago. almost city de witt tamer. When

8:39

I reached out to you, I had

8:41

no idea that it was. Two

8:43

years ago this week. By. We're

8:46

gonna talk about your son

8:48

walkers passing but before we

8:50

get to that the day

8:52

before or this accident happened,

8:54

your daughter. Was sealed.

8:56

Is that right? Your daughter okay

8:58

and see you had all your

9:01

family together. I wondered why in

9:03

retrospect to has it meant to

9:05

use to have had this last

9:07

chance for your family to all

9:09

be together. So

9:12

we have nine silver and me as

9:14

six biological and bonus points that in

9:16

our travels he picked up along the

9:18

way and never leave the nevertheless. Is

9:21

us have less about address where he

9:23

doesn't have to eat my daughter that

9:25

married or feals. The Day before? What

9:27

the staffing? She's one of my younger

9:30

children. Season of the

9:32

twins and so I hadn't really have

9:34

a sister. Nice guy. Done a bunch

9:36

of weddings and. Was. Other

9:38

lanes. It was a beautiful day. She does

9:40

the perfect day! Retrospect,

9:43

I mean, The thing

9:45

is is. In the ceiling room I

9:47

have this is something I thought about. A

9:50

few times sample of times. That's. Enough

9:53

ceiling. I was sitting next to

9:55

my daughter. And my husband

9:57

was. Kind. Of Coffee. In the chair.

10:01

M P started eager to see

10:03

there was just awesome and points

10:05

to the home momentum and I

10:07

was just levine. It and then. Something.

10:11

Happened at it was like i'm yeah I

10:13

know what it's like a killer spirit and

10:15

I still to quite often the my life

10:17

a a dozen hunger for that. It's something

10:19

I I have to have and it's warm

10:21

filled the room in a way. It

10:24

was just a powerful moment and I stole my

10:26

many people there. And I know that people will

10:28

say that as soon as soon as an infielder.

10:31

He tokens and in the temple anywhere because

10:34

it's where you're supposed to have them and

10:36

I still to develop can be so thin.

10:38

Boston. In our lives since his don't like

10:41

that but it was different. But. I

10:43

didn't know until later and I I

10:45

can honestly tell you looking back. I

10:48

know that it was preparation. For.

10:53

The race and for what was coming. And.

10:58

So. It was

11:00

a council and your semi censored in

11:02

i'm in the ceiling with us and

11:04

some are waiting outside and walk with

11:06

outside. with bell we have a.is

11:09

especially in says a severe seizure disorder which is had

11:11

his land and he with the other with her and.

11:14

Since our last picture. And.

11:17

Looking bath tubs about Retrospect, looking back at

11:20

that picture thats all of us together right

11:22

in front of the sample of you have

11:24

the a full is that. To. Be

11:26

able to nice to go pick somebody Celebrate

11:28

is a family and. To

11:30

tell you the truth, I didn't know how much I

11:32

was going to appreciate that day. Not until the next

11:34

day. When. We as the

11:36

complete opposite experience. I mean talk

11:38

about time series. I call it

11:40

a Kindle and plane. Going

11:43

from this care of this

11:45

beautiful. As that day before to

11:48

this. Weekend. Please you A

11:50

And Happiness Rights is the worst pain

11:52

and sorrow I have ever sell in

11:54

my life. Substandard and. It. Is

11:56

hard to bring. His is my seat. Daughter

11:58

Howdy and her husband. You

12:00

don't appear Was so much pain for down because we

12:02

had a call them home. From. Their

12:05

honeymoon. It isn't a

12:07

long road, a ceiling for for had each and

12:09

I love it. Seems really honest about it and

12:11

I'm so proud of her, but it's been a

12:14

really long road for her to figure out. Doubt

12:16

your why like that session of why

12:18

why did that happen. I.

12:20

Think that. In other places of

12:23

why did I get married to be before? why

12:25

does this loss have to be tied to that

12:27

special day that was hard for her as parents

12:29

that we got there quicker than our daughter did

12:31

and we were able to find a seat of

12:33

blessings and say those events together. But as you

12:35

can imagine a citizen the my Susan Simpson to

12:37

understand the like. What was

12:39

really awesome? The Morgan is. Either

12:42

this is a which marked said.

12:45

Two year I'd call it the to your

12:47

Homecoming That's what are some. Come in and

12:49

help me out like a phrase better we

12:51

might as well. I blended Feeling in the

12:53

Temple. And it kind of to

12:55

the full circle. Does that make sense?

12:57

Pressure or how covenant that binds us

12:59

together And we walked in late in

13:01

this. He though see here but people or. Are you

13:04

doing feelings and and. Before.

13:06

We bomb participated. I

13:08

stood up and i like I did see to

13:10

say something. Nice addition. There was like own over

13:12

half of the exist but I said I just

13:14

wanted to share with you. That this is a

13:16

two year. Mark for us

13:18

of our our son. Homecoming the and we

13:20

might cry a little bit and I defy are

13:23

really prepared because the I know my husband I

13:25

would as the president I didn't want to scare

13:27

people that these people. Were with us,

13:29

we didn't even know them And be left

13:32

and the hottest. And they let us talk

13:34

about Lockard. It's a son of a full

13:36

circle. This by Indian covenant that. Links

13:38

I sell me together forever. Spot.

13:42

I I get to be honest, I

13:44

hadn't really thought about what you said

13:46

with your daughter and that would be

13:49

so so hard. So if you don't

13:51

mind. Tell me a little

13:53

bit about we've we talked about

13:55

since ceiling day. And. Next

13:57

day walker was involved.

14:00

A horrific accident that your

14:02

husband had to witness. Right in

14:04

front of his face. Before we talk

14:06

about what you experience that day, I'd

14:09

love to have you tell us a

14:11

little bit about Walker. Okay,

14:13

I'll take sees as a dream but it says he is. A

14:16

lot to say. Those are the like ss.

14:20

And eighty for asking me that. When

14:22

we did the feeling that for the fear

14:24

us tell us about your son neither. Are

14:26

still see that he wanted to know that offer

14:28

and for thank you for asking this question that.

14:31

Mean by and I genuinely want

14:34

to know so it's easy to

14:36

measure the he is. Amazing and

14:38

I have to tell you I have your

14:40

we are nice. And everybody knows

14:42

if we are not a perfect family. We

14:45

have our own issues are so those

14:47

and as reasons and all busy phrase

14:49

I have a seat. I've beautiful children.

14:51

Even. even as they're

14:53

on their own journey assigned to make it

14:56

was I. Honor people's journeys! I'm a

14:58

big believer in everybody's having their journey and

15:00

I just feel really blessed as the children

15:02

that I had that really supported we Just

15:05

Be supported the and. And. My

15:07

husband through this. Trial

15:09

And they were there for us. The almost like.

15:12

They let us morning on the for more than they did

15:14

and that we had to send a slip and remember that

15:17

they were sort of it because they really. Stepped in

15:19

and so I just have beautiful children and so

15:21

as a series you that my youngest this is

15:23

my youngest child I just wanted to make sure.

15:26

That. Everyone knows the I love all of my children

15:28

and feel so blessed. With our third

15:30

child, harder with point I was holding this. M

15:33

P's brand a dissenting baby, right?

15:35

He's. I just said and and I'm

15:37

holding it in my arms and I still have

15:39

them on their. Own. I

15:42

could feel this little boy and a couldn't

15:44

see him. I just feel this little sooner

15:46

is happy, full of personality and. He

15:48

could just feel like his excitement to some a be

15:50

a part of our soundly and I turned my husband

15:53

and I said the next have some input li i

15:55

blurted it out my husband like okay I see if

15:57

you have had some Us senate. The

16:00

world. Are you talking about? I

16:02

couldn't help how I felt he was. So. Powerful.

16:04

so song. And then six months

16:07

later we we were expecting you surprised when, and

16:09

I knew one was a boy, I knew it

16:11

because I felt this little. And it.

16:14

As overwhelmed as I was was thinking i'm an

16:17

outsized to those ages six and on of like

16:19

a headless I just knew I was going to

16:21

finally get a neat this little boy and and

16:23

we other thoughts are some and will reveal that

16:25

there was twin girls and I'm likely no no

16:27

no there's a boy should I felt like a

16:29

beautiful voice and so I can add a new

16:31

through those. Those. Feelings because I

16:34

saw one hundred. I get that wrong

16:36

answer preferred. Suspected: Given suffered meeting them

16:38

like settlements, Fragments and I. I

16:41

had. Been. Preparing to subtle busy

16:43

and I was kind of overwhelmed and thinking about

16:45

things that is the on I remember walking out

16:48

the office, I bent down to pick them up

16:50

toys or books off the floor and it. Face.

16:53

As I stood i I I mean you can

16:55

call it what you want in college and vision.

16:57

I. See here so eyes this is more like

17:00

a distant i'd be fearful eyes and and that

17:02

it was is clear and real to me as

17:04

if he was standing in front of me and

17:06

I saw this little blonde haired boy smiling with

17:09

this release in the city a smile which if

17:11

you know walker. Obsessive talking about. In

17:14

my mind I heard the words don't worry

17:16

mom, I'm coming. So years

17:19

later because we had this the set of

17:21

twins one of our daughters is if he

17:23

has. Severe. A severe caesar

17:25

disorder and she especially than that was

17:27

five years of really hard work time

17:29

to get her help each man. I.

17:32

Finally decided we as a subway the I had to get

17:34

in here. And and would be

17:36

handed. Morgan when they handed the speedy to

17:38

me. And. I looked into his

17:41

eyes. I am. I knew him. I.

17:43

Knew this little boy. that was the same little

17:45

boy that was so anxious to be here and.

17:47

So. He was finding here is our baby he

17:50

was there was a Pfizer job to with our

17:52

child eater and what was so fun is that

17:54

everybody went off to school and it with me

17:56

a locker for five years My for five years

17:58

by ourselves just me. In hands. Then

18:01

he was busy and he was can he

18:03

says he had no fear. But.

18:05

He was a lie and the love and the last

18:07

or of our family and one of my favorite memories

18:10

of of Law or is he loves life and he

18:12

always had questions and every night with something then to

18:14

bed and she would lay next funny. So. You'd

18:16

ask me questions like I'm not talking. Like

18:19

simple questions like I'm talking deep. Spiritual

18:21

questions. He wanted to know the answers to

18:23

questions like. Where they where they

18:25

lived before I've seen to earth. And what

18:27

was that? Like fair and likes I see haven't

18:29

anymore and what happens when we die and is

18:31

the one that was so funny to me as

18:33

he would say she is she's a flood of

18:35

me. Why does seem heat me? He had such

18:37

a hard time understanding why anyone would hate him

18:39

he had he had. He does look like I'm

18:41

a little dicey I was gonna I lost them

18:44

and that we had to constantly work through that

18:46

one out by made me laugh a lot. but.

18:48

Water. To Earth like would be specific.

18:51

With the specific personality. And

18:53

those that know him know exactly what

18:55

I'm talking about. He knew who he

18:57

was at all times. And don't get

18:59

me wrong, he was a typical teenager,

19:02

slightly inappropriate sometimes. They see

19:04

why. is. He moved through

19:06

life with confidence that was unlike anyone else

19:08

except for his father. You mind me, a

19:10

lot of his father. They were so similar.

19:12

And so many ways. But Lover was a gather

19:14

A, He was a. National leader seat.

19:16

we live so often lighter than since he

19:19

was always the new kid but within weeks

19:21

we had a houseful of tons of friends.

19:23

I always knew me. So your food a

19:25

full, your house is full of food. And

19:28

be ready for summer party because he he

19:30

everybody was out our house a he was

19:32

happy he was positive she didn't worry about.

19:35

The small stuff and sometimes even the big

19:37

stuff with sometimes totally crazy but and then

19:39

like sometimes I would counsel I've always had

19:41

a sample him. When he believed a half

19:43

a season he started driving. And

19:45

and I would. You. Know is gonna

19:47

prepare and like what hear the when this

19:49

happened and what are you doing about listen

19:52

t with it Always grab my shoulders and

19:54

look into my eyes and smile. Same mom.

19:56

A doctor? Don't worry. We have

19:58

so many discussions. The importance of having

20:01

a plan and be ready for themes and

20:03

what he has you in. this happens or

20:05

that happened since he would always respond the

20:07

same way almost every time. It's a mom.

20:09

You. Have no idea how critic said

20:11

I am. I can't be peer

20:13

pressure. I know I am and this

20:16

is just what would make me smile.

20:18

I mean, I know, like I said, he wasn't a perfect

20:20

kids. The he was just so He was so

20:22

great and everywhere we went he was love,

20:24

not just by chance. But by

20:26

the adults the I was always sit there

20:28

was fun. I love that Shed and I

20:31

and others like Hold I love attitudes Steve

20:33

love to fiercely. He was fiercely

20:35

love. We've only lived in

20:37

Utah for eight months. Coming from

20:39

Connecticut and. With. In

20:41

that first weekend or houses for about

20:44

thirty teenagers and and never change. And

20:46

at his funeral there were twelve hundred

20:48

people in the Sake center and over

20:50

two. Thousand. And until. He

20:53

was a gather He would gather everyone and

20:55

after his passing really see so many messages

20:57

and letters. People would find us and share

20:59

their story of locker and they are it's

21:02

their child and how he would. Gather

21:04

them in especially as beaten along are selected

21:06

in the long are they didn't put on

21:09

put it in which is. Not for everyone

21:11

says said that lover was he. Has

21:13

the ability to come to see and

21:15

notice and luck and fines. After

21:18

passing the. Received so many messages

21:20

and letters and. And

21:23

I was amazed at these a team in for

21:25

so long they still do. I still find people

21:27

who know him and. They. Share

21:29

their story about. Him and. You

21:32

can't tell me just just I know

21:34

This is my son and and as much

21:36

as I love the hims you cannot

21:38

tell me that the youth of today

21:40

are no remarkable president open to abuse

21:42

or I'm usually just it in the

21:44

gathering of Israel I see I really believed

21:46

as he can see ourselves before reaching

21:48

or if we. See ourselves

21:50

as. A really are if

21:53

we can see our children. And

21:55

who they really are. It It shouldn't surprise

21:57

us, but I think we would be. And

21:59

ah, I'm. In on that

22:01

one sixteen year old boy. Could.

22:04

Seen so many lives in just the sort

22:06

sign that he was here on earth. I

22:08

know that the youth of today are

22:11

ordained since the world. War

22:14

I. I love that so much.

22:16

I appreciate you giving us a

22:18

little taste of locker. I

22:21

always feel like there's been there been

22:23

a few times a few times when

22:25

I was at Deseret News I wrote

22:27

stories about people that have passed away

22:29

and and there's been times during interviews

22:31

for the podcasts and I always and

22:33

like ah man like I really want

22:35

to meet that person and so I'm

22:37

hoping that after the lives there will

22:39

be a few pizza less people that

22:41

I will get to meet quickly and

22:43

Walker is now on that list. And.

22:46

Camera You can you tell me

22:48

a little bit about. The. Day

22:51

of Walkers Accident. You said that

22:53

you received a call from your

22:55

husband and that it was the

22:57

kind of call that. Is

23:00

something. That you. Experience

23:02

in a nightmare and. I

23:05

can only imagine. Can you tell

23:07

me a little bit about that

23:09

call and how you responded immediately?

23:12

So. Uneasy. Was

23:14

the day after the wedding and

23:16

I was exhausted. I was so

23:18

tired and so I was laying

23:20

in bed. And I was

23:22

on a bullet I think. my sister and.

23:28

water in some in the rooms like gotten up

23:30

the phone. And he was.

23:33

In a decided to go up and help

23:35

my husband on the property we were building

23:38

a home he appear in l time and

23:40

he said it'll help with his as on

23:42

the property and and so she came in

23:44

and he has gotten up late and really

23:46

skinny militants in the morning and i was

23:49

so tired and i was just laying in

23:51

bed and it he he came in at

23:53

least very sad in the end we last

23:55

about something that is this is an interesting

23:57

thing that really cold bath and will. The

24:00

last two dogs to cancer and it

24:02

was left. His favorite dog ate with

24:04

his.and we made a joke about I

24:07

said the Mccurry don't you think you.

24:09

Get a hang out with your animals. They're like. Eating fish

24:11

you and will a subpoena. Just hang

24:13

out all the time. And she's like western.

24:15

a lesson he starts talking about. will assume your thoughts

24:17

about that was is the thing I remember talking about.

24:20

And then he. Turned. Around and like a

24:22

free lunch out the door. A tranny said i

24:24

love you mom and then he left. And.

24:27

Am. I didn't get up because

24:29

I didn't He: I didn't know my eyes

24:31

I had this. Terrible loops that

24:34

was. Blame it. In my mind over

24:36

and over again it's of me about three

24:38

or four months finally at Dallas Shields that

24:40

I didn't. I get up. You know that

24:42

regret oh was the worst that was really

24:45

hard for me and I didn't know right

24:47

as his business going to L plenty of

24:49

and lean been just another day. Yes,

24:52

just another day is perfect

24:54

and. Been hour later. I

24:56

have some called and. A

24:58

I will never forget his voice. Be.

25:01

I will never forget my oh yes and. I

25:04

has I these to tell you this is I

25:06

think there were things that came out of night

25:08

like screaming and when we been that I didn't

25:10

even though was inside of me I I have

25:12

a heart some going back there every once in

25:14

while I will and I quickly move Boston Place

25:16

Rock Can't go back to that video that plays

25:18

in a sense. Of what

25:21

he saw, we fanatical, That

25:23

selfless, exactly. As received

25:25

some beautiful information that helps us to

25:27

move away from that. but that's the

25:29

nightmare right? More in that moment. And

25:32

I remember yelling in the phone,

25:34

you're lying, your line What was

25:36

also really into seen as I

25:38

couldn't cry. I think I was in

25:40

shock and ever been a senior and sockets

25:42

a few an hour to feel sort of

25:44

feel that. My. Emotions

25:47

come out of me. I was and I had

25:49

never felt that either. That kind of salt and

25:51

I remember sitting on my. Aunt.

25:53

Like this are be syphilis the first one

25:55

on the seem to help rod. And

25:58

then rub on the phone as he was calling. Indivisible.

26:00

Not some said Gabi with Conrad. so

26:02

he came. To the house and

26:04

he says me and help me and. I

26:06

could tell he was upset and I

26:09

didn't I just couldn't. Process

26:11

it. It was really hard in our stuff. Not

26:13

normal for me. I'm not. I've.

26:15

Ever experienced something like. That. And I remember.

26:18

How the an hour later sitting on the cows. I.

26:21

Did. My kids were also in the come. From.

26:24

Where are they Were are older children and the

26:26

house of filling with people? Yeah, I don't. Really

26:28

remember everybody that was there. But.

26:30

I remember my mom and dad been there and

26:32

that remember my mom sitting to my last and

26:34

my dad to my right. And

26:37

this is another thing I've been nicer

26:39

publicly. Word we get to speak. At

26:42

Life After Loss in a couple weeks and I'm

26:44

going to Sarah the for sympathy there. but I

26:46

I think I'm gonna share it. I. I.

26:49

Remember grabbing my dad's snacks in bringing

26:52

him really close to my mouse? Like

26:54

his ear, right? I wanted. To whisper

26:56

something in his ear. And I

26:58

said god. Oh My God.

27:00

Forgives my husband. Who's. Our

27:03

eyes hurt his him. Why?

27:05

Why? why did he not for sex

27:07

rocker and I remember feeling that so.

27:10

It. Was came in so song gray in

27:12

in it scared me. Because I didn't know

27:14

how to. Work through that. Let

27:17

alone the loss of my son and my

27:19

guy. Looks. To me any eyes

27:22

and says camera work in it since this

27:24

and minute at a time. And

27:26

as soon as I turn from my guy that

27:28

I remember. Looking straight ahead I'm looking

27:31

at my children and I still

27:33

the spirit say the nice so

27:35

clear Morgan the spirit said say

27:37

it. And I

27:39

knew what the spirit. Was asking you to

27:41

say without with that anything else, without

27:43

any other communication in my head I

27:45

knew what I would be enough to

27:47

say. And I knew I had a

27:49

choice to make at that moment. Because. I

27:51

said though it's a really dark places like

27:53

I could go. Through. Really bad

27:56

places and i suffered my has the left

27:58

me. Or. A

28:01

different race. And so

28:03

I listen to that beliefs. and

28:05

if. It was it. I

28:07

don't want to see, it was hard. I just knew

28:09

what I had to say and I look at them

28:11

A children. And I said I trust. Stories.

28:17

Besides. It's

28:20

first the my Heavenly Father. It's

28:22

trust my savior. For.

28:24

The next morning. I mean it. To

28:27

Siddhartha. I wanted to. Nice.

28:29

I wanted makes as innocent be me say I like

28:31

I needed them to. I knew I needed I'm sure.

28:34

That Morgan I needed to hear myself say

28:36

it. And I wanted my only father

28:38

to know about us what I believed in

28:40

With it's all said and done, that's that's

28:42

all I got. And the next line I

28:44

I brought my swimsuit I knew that I

28:46

need it's open than I was ice. That's

28:48

where the what? As for one of the only

28:50

places I could find peace and I I will

28:52

remember for some reason the story. Is marked for

28:54

was in my head you know in the multitude gathered

28:57

on the edges see and they're there to should receive

28:59

your cheat and silly. People set up the see your

29:01

clients and to about the he chooses the people from

29:03

as he. Sat on the seaside and then he

29:05

sensible sit away and he in the decide to

29:07

get on the on the ship and they start

29:09

across their side in and month for. It

29:12

as to how they are a disgrace. Storm comes

29:14

right, Everybody knows the story most. People know it's

29:16

and the waves have been under the

29:19

ship so much that don't install like

29:21

a goof ball and I'd love. To.

29:24

See imagery of that moment been. Out

29:26

on the water and. It

29:28

says and see Adversity a meaning

29:30

Jesus. Was at the hinder part of the sith

29:33

asleep on a pillow and else. I'm

29:35

reading the story and I can just see.

29:37

It in my mind's eye exodus see

29:39

what's happening and I know it's all

29:41

has that same question like oh of

29:43

how is. The safest sleeping.

29:45

In this massive storm and I'm

29:48

like. Why are the savior

29:50

sleeping to dismount? The storminess? Can.

29:52

He not hear the cries of his disciples,

29:54

and I just feel the fear almost like

29:56

I'm on that boat with him is that

29:59

makes sense like. And I'm I'm

30:01

at school. and I Am. Saint Jean.

30:03

And I can. I can honestly chief

30:06

to disappear. Adam, feel disappear and see

30:08

the theories, but disciples are desperately trying

30:10

to keep the. Both I'm thinking all the

30:12

while looking back and see this suddenly with

30:14

their own bush and why You. Will.

30:17

Hire you asleep and then. He.

30:19

And birth, Thirty Eight says that they wage.

30:21

Him. And they stand him. Master. Terrorist.

30:24

I'm not. That we Paris. And.

30:26

The Saviors it says he a rose and

30:28

he reviewed billing and said into the Cpc

30:30

be still in the last season there was

30:32

a great com and then he says something

30:35

so interesting to me. He asked

30:37

this question, why. Why?

30:39

Are you so fearful? How was it

30:42

that you don't have any speech and

30:44

I. Start: Why is he asking that question?

30:46

Their. Have seen barracks has been

30:48

a storm. Very smears as grade

30:50

and you're asleep. Watch how why

30:53

is that question being asked? And

30:55

I felt those fierce winds come into

30:57

my life. With with a source

30:59

says he is indisposed like we've

31:01

seen with that of course. I

31:04

the are so I would drown. I feel pain

31:06

like I'd never fell in my whole life. In

31:08

those first few days I felt nothing. Faith

31:10

in deep sorrow and the deepest? brief

31:12

and I are all those same Question.

31:15

Why Heavenly Father? Why Why does

31:17

he take my son. And.

31:19

I still haven't were totally close to me like a

31:22

sleeper to hinder part of the. Chef I. I

31:24

got that I felt that. And

31:26

people said oh you're insecure know my your

31:29

breathing and all the readers' life and Zelda

31:31

spirit But I needed peace and answers more

31:33

now than at any other time in my

31:35

life and thought remember the story and I

31:37

got on my knees and I pulled out

31:40

just like the Disciples Master. Don't.

31:42

Care that I'm in a Paris and I

31:45

did almost sure the savior say. Camera.

31:48

Why are you so fearful? Where.

31:51

He is your face. Some simple leave me

31:53

don't have to me. Don't you know me?

31:55

I. Will arise. I will reveal the so. When

31:58

I will say into the Storm is your Life. P.

32:02

B. Still and the winners will cease.

32:05

So. Why did the. Savior as that person.

32:07

Why? Are you so fearful? And. What

32:09

I learned is that. It didn't matter,

32:12

He didn't matter that they resist the or

32:14

storm it matter that the wind was blowing

32:16

and the wages are crashing. It didn't matter of

32:18

the rain was falling in the boat was

32:20

filling with water. They thought that they were

32:22

gonna drown because. She was

32:24

there. And. I

32:26

was reminded of years ago, remember when I

32:28

would lean on the couch. Moline

32:30

out pride and I heard those

32:33

words. I've got you. I

32:35

love Inverse. Forty One wonders Been. Marked for

32:37

when everything is still unclear. I the

32:40

contrary is right. I knew contrary. And.

32:42

A decisive than their amazement feet of

32:45

one another. What manner of man man

32:47

is this? Is even the

32:49

wind and to see Obey him. And

32:51

because the wind and the seas of

32:53

a Jesus Christ And I knew that.

32:56

Could. He not feel. My

32:58

heart. Can he not your father's

33:01

broken heart as family breeding? Can

33:03

be nice, heal and help. Us or and

33:06

bring peace in our own. This

33:08

own unique challenges and for the Kinsey

33:11

not feel you. In.

33:13

And whatever suddenly you're going truths and

33:15

this one decision alone at this crucial

33:17

points I believe with the hims point

33:19

for me and allowed me to see

33:21

it. Can. See and receive

33:24

help from her. Then and seven,

33:26

so that. I love

33:28

the way that you hide that and

33:30

to that scripts her. And her

33:32

thing to listen because as you

33:34

talked about the way that the

33:36

spirit communicate few it's brought to

33:38

mind several experience and that I've

33:40

had and it's interesting to me

33:42

like them I've got you. I

33:44

think sometimes it seems like the

33:46

spirit communicates and very short phrases

33:48

that kind of. Com. and

33:51

as here point like come out

33:53

of nowhere and and how because

33:55

they are sure that you can

33:57

remember them easily i'm a recent

34:00

had an experience where I was frustrated

34:02

about something and I kind

34:04

of was praying as I was making the bed

34:06

and had the thought like, why, why isn't this

34:10

working out? And very clearly in

34:14

my mind, I heard, don't you

34:16

trust me? And so I love

34:19

that, that experience that you had

34:21

years before allowed

34:23

you to be able to handle

34:25

something that I imagined was so

34:29

much more painful and so

34:31

much harder. Tamara, you

34:33

mentioned that you're, you and your

34:36

husband have learned things that have

34:38

allowed you to work through the

34:40

grief that you have

34:42

experienced. And I, in talking to other

34:45

people who have had the

34:47

experience of losing a child, I have

34:49

learned that I think one thing that

34:51

can be tricky is that people tend

34:53

to grieve a little bit differently. And

34:55

so I wondered how have you and

34:58

your husband supported one another amidst a

35:00

grief that I'm sure is a little

35:03

bit different for each of you? Well,

35:06

yeah, this is a good one. This is a

35:08

good one because remember I

35:11

talked about our polar opposites

35:13

in some ways. We totally

35:15

grieved polar oppositely. Is

35:17

that a phrase? I don't even know, but I

35:19

think it works. So Rob went busy and he

35:21

got super busy. He actually just

35:31

poured himself into this house, building this house.

35:34

And this house became

35:36

sacred ground. That makes sense. And I'll

35:38

explain more of that a little bit later. But, and

35:41

then I went still and I

35:43

spent a lot of time studying and praying

35:46

and reading and connecting. And I had

35:48

to be still. I couldn't handle a

35:50

lot of busyness and noise.

35:52

Noise was my enemy. It felt like

35:56

he slept in Walker's room. He

35:59

Slept in his room. He

36:01

fled from. You find anything that the first. Night happen

36:04

and the next that you said I did ask

36:06

you something. If it was you

36:08

would it bother you? Have I saw the lockers that I

36:10

need. That nice of you. I yes

36:12

go buy it. I knew he needed

36:14

and I was willing to give him

36:16

everything he needed considering what he experienced.

36:19

Team. Through all his locker seems.

36:22

I never went back down to his

36:24

room. In that rental house with by

36:27

the rebuilding the south. I never

36:29

went to the some. Minor

36:31

of the African Billie here. I just never wanted to

36:33

go down there again. It was detained or for me.

36:36

I. Only listen to Sixers. Until

36:39

two days ago when we put all of his

36:41

senses out and I was so. Scared to do it

36:43

more than I. Was like I could have a

36:45

fighting do this and I did. and I'm

36:47

so proud of myself and I know that

36:49

a busy summer help from heaven but I'm.

36:52

A. Little success for two years. Where

36:55

my system was like immersed in

36:57

him does that make sense? And.

36:59

We. Breed totally different and it was hard for

37:01

me because I am. I sometimes felt guilty.

37:03

About that like why am I am I doing

37:05

this right and the how do you know how

37:07

to do it and and is there a right

37:09

way and. I'm There were a

37:11

hard moments where we were didn't see eye

37:13

to eye. We had to like your difficult

37:15

moments with their arguments and the hey you're

37:17

night between atheism I think you said and

37:19

you're not showing up for me and we have

37:22

a really shitty southern. Greece and

37:24

Space. To. Grieve and are Only

37:26

And and I received a gift from God a

37:28

woman in my board they did not know. Because.

37:31

He just moved into the word. See.

37:34

Lost a son fifteen years prior to

37:36

meme Abby my son pathway and she

37:38

became and then for and monitor things

37:40

you always told me as bear is

37:43

not one rightly to do this and

37:45

you can rush grief. Says do

37:47

what exactly how it feels right seal and

37:50

so. But that's what Robin I did. She

37:52

did have thought right to him and I

37:54

did it how it felt right to me.

37:56

But where we were similar again is that

37:58

individually. Will. The guy and

38:01

his son and together they were

38:03

our center. They were are

38:05

constant and that for have says connected

38:07

and united when the didn't always understand

38:09

how the other person living through the

38:12

dirty. You

38:14

mentioned that you were worried

38:17

about your ability to sundance

38:19

your husband. How are you

38:21

able to work through that?

38:24

That that moment. Largen

38:27

when I haven't looked at

38:29

him. Isis. And Osiris of

38:31

You have a choice to make. Saying.

38:34

That. Phrase Isis My Heavenly

38:36

Father. says every.

38:40

Bit. As recounts

38:42

and anything. And

38:44

as me and I have never once

38:47

nor would I ever. Blame.

38:49

My husband from my son's death. Of

38:52

her Never And that is.

38:55

My husband loves his son and I know

38:57

that and I can never do that to

38:59

him, especially considering what he experienced. And.

39:03

We. Were given and incredible blessings

39:06

that opened up. The way to

39:08

help us understand why work for was taken

39:10

in that way at that time and I

39:12

feel that. That's.

39:14

Part of the healing so I know I just

39:16

let it go into it. Left me because. I.

39:20

Believe it's because I was willing to.

39:22

Let. Me just like. Decisive savior on

39:24

the though, right? Don't assassinate like you

39:26

said when you're making that dad. Didn't

39:29

he says to me and as soon as

39:31

I says to him I gave it to

39:33

him. let him serious that storm list on

39:35

the back heard about so arm gone there.

39:37

there were some other parts of the storm

39:40

don't get me wrong but that part was

39:42

gone totally non and taken. as

39:45

amazing i believe that one hundred

39:47

percent but it it still is

39:49

amazing to me the way that

39:52

aboard can take things from us

39:54

and take our burdens i'm another

39:56

thing that i wondered about his

39:58

shortly after the accident over 500 people

40:01

in your community came

40:03

to your home despite pouring rain and

40:06

saying the song, Peace in Christ. And

40:08

I watched that video and it is

40:11

so moving. I wondered

40:13

what have you learned about others'

40:15

abilities to uphold us when, like

40:17

that song says, when we feel

40:19

like we can't go on? Well,

40:22

let me give you a little background on

40:25

the importance of that song in particular

40:27

being sung by that group of

40:29

people. It's this song or

40:31

that moment or that event of all

40:36

those people in the community showing

40:38

up was the perfect example of

40:40

heaven showing up. I believe that I

40:43

believe that the world is heavily influenced by

40:45

the other side of the bell without taking

40:47

away our agency because agency

40:49

is a precious gift from God, right?

40:52

He loves agency. But I do believe

40:54

that there is, I

40:56

just believe we're heavily influenced and help

40:58

comes from both sides of the bell, heavenly

41:00

angels and earthly angels. And like

41:03

I said, for 24 hours, I

41:05

struggled to feel the spirit, to feel my son.

41:07

This was, that was

41:09

as painful as the loss

41:11

of my son. Not feeling the spirit

41:13

or feeling my son was just as

41:15

painful. And I needed to

41:17

feel the spirit more than ever. I was standing in

41:19

my bedroom and the spot change in

41:21

my mind, turn on some music. Like, and as

41:23

soon as I heard that phrase, I'm

41:26

like, well, duh, yes. Cause

41:28

you know, music is, it

41:30

brings the spirit faster than any, even the spoken

41:32

word, right? Music does something to you. And so the

41:34

first song that I turned on a playlist or

41:36

I don't even know what I turned on, but I

41:38

turned on Spotify or something. And the first

41:41

song that came on was Peace in Christ. And

41:44

I was taken back to my time or

41:46

our time in Australia when I was called

41:48

to be the Stake Young Women's President. And

41:50

I served with, you know, all these youth

41:53

that I love so much, all these Polynesian

41:55

kids and Australian kids. And one

41:57

of the years are, you know, the scene was Peace in

41:59

Christ. And it was just an

42:01

awesome year. I loved that thing. But when I left

42:04

to go to come home, the

42:06

Polynesian kids did the Hakka for us and

42:09

they sang Peace in Christ. And so that

42:11

song meant something to me already.

42:13

Does that make sense? Like it

42:15

was just important to me. That song was

42:17

so important to me. And

42:19

when I turned on that song, I just,

42:21

I felt for the first time, the way

42:23

that I needed the spirit to come back

42:26

into my life and not that, whether

42:28

it was, you know, it was probably obviously

42:30

on me that I wasn't filming for, I don't

42:32

know, whatever it was, it just came in like a

42:35

rush. And it was

42:37

so familiar. I thought, okay, I

42:40

can do this. I'm home, I'm home. And

42:42

moments later, I felt

42:45

my son. And I had

42:47

a sacred beautiful moment in

42:49

that moment. And then within,

42:52

I think it was later that night, an army

42:54

of earthly angels, like you said, 500 people, men,

42:57

women, and children, they showed up and

43:00

they stood outside in the rain and

43:02

they sang. And I

43:05

just, it's incredible, right? That

43:07

they would stand out there and be

43:10

there and sing that song. And they had

43:12

no idea how

43:15

important that song was to me and

43:18

to my family. It's amazing. And

43:21

I can't even adequately

43:23

tell everybody how grateful we are that

43:25

people showed up. And that's the phrase

43:27

that I use. I learned a lesson

43:29

when you say, what have

43:31

I learned about others' abilities to uphold us? And

43:33

we feel like we can't go on. I learned

43:35

the importance of showing up and people show that.

43:38

People we didn't even know showed up

43:40

for us. And like

43:42

letters and food and gifts

43:44

and just they would

43:47

send us messages. Someone wrote our name or

43:49

put our name on the parallel of every

43:51

working temple and wrote down every working temple

43:53

and gave it to us. And this

43:56

is the messages and the outpouring

43:58

of love. I take

44:00

that scripture in 3rd May 5, 27, 27, very seriously. When

44:05

the Savior says, what manner of men I need to be, be

44:07

like me. And we all,

44:09

all of us that are part of our

44:12

faith, we take that sacrament every Sunday

44:14

and we promise that. We're like, I'm

44:16

gonna think like you walk like you talk,

44:18

like you love like you wanna be just

44:20

like you. And that's what I felt that

44:23

all of those people took that,

44:27

I mean, it's covenant, right? It's a promise, it is more

44:30

than a promise, it's a covenant. They

44:32

took that really seriously. And I saw

44:34

the Savior in 500 people standing

44:38

outside my house. And that

44:41

was powerful for me. And that was

44:43

so healing for our family. I

44:47

always love hearing the many, many

44:49

different ways that people are able

44:51

to mourn with those that mourn.

44:53

And this example was particularly touching

44:56

to me. Another thing

44:58

I wanted to ask you about Tamara before

45:00

we get to our last question, you

45:02

said in another interview that I watched

45:05

that you have learned more about your

45:07

son since he passed than you'd known

45:09

about him in his nearly 17 years

45:12

on earth prior. What did

45:14

you mean by that? Well,

45:17

if you would allow me, I'm gonna share something

45:19

very sacred, but I have prayed to know if

45:21

this is something I can share. And

45:24

I have been told that I can. And

45:27

it's sacred, but it's not a secret. It's

45:29

so beautiful, Morgan. And this is

45:31

really what healed me in

45:33

the biggest way. When

45:36

our bishop came down and

45:38

was on the property with my husband

45:40

and saw what he saw and experienced

45:42

what he experienced, one

45:44

night he went back to his office and he knelt

45:47

down on his knees and he said, I don't know

45:49

how to carry this with this family. You've got to

45:51

help me, because I don't know what to do. He

45:53

was a brand new bishop, just barely called. And

45:56

he came into my bedroom a day

45:59

after walking. her past. And I was, you know,

46:01

obviously remember, I was struggling, feeling the spirit, struggling

46:03

with everything. And he described

46:06

a revelation that he had. He talked about it

46:08

being a vision. He said

46:10

that he received this revelation about

46:13

how to help our family. But the

46:15

most healing answer to our questions was

46:18

when the bishop shared that the

46:20

Savior himself was there on the day of

46:22

the accident and that he came

46:24

and he took our son. And

46:27

I believe this, Morgan, like when he told me, I

46:29

was like, I believe, I believe this,

46:31

but I needed to know for myself.

46:34

This sent me on a

46:36

path to ask for three miracles, and I

46:38

won't describe those in today, but one

46:41

of the miracles I asked for was

46:43

to be able to know that

46:45

for myself. I wanted to receive my

46:48

own revelation, my own personal revelation of

46:50

this. I had to know it for myself.

46:52

I wanted to know, and I knew I could ask for

46:54

it, and I knew that God would answer this prayer. And

46:57

I prepared to receive a

46:59

priesthood blessing from my husband. And in

47:01

that blessing, I learned more about my son, and that's

47:03

what I describe. I learned more about my son and

47:05

who he is and what he's doing than

47:08

I knew in his 16 years of

47:10

his life. And I would, I want to

47:12

share with you just something. This is the sacred part of this

47:14

blessing. I wanted to share that I believe it's so universal

47:17

that, yes, this is about my son, but I

47:19

believe it was all that I am that is

47:21

about all of us. And

47:24

this is just a small portion that gave me a

47:26

great amount of peace. And my husband, it

47:28

said, the Savior stood with your son and waited

47:31

on the other side of the veil for the actions

47:33

that led to him crossing over. He's

47:35

so patiently waiting. And in the moment, the

47:37

time was right. He lovingly embraced

47:40

your son. The Savior was not alone.

47:42

He was not alone in that moment.

47:44

There were many other family members that

47:46

were there. And the reunion was immediately.

47:49

I bless you to know that his

47:51

heart is with you. And he felt

47:53

nothing in his passing, which was really

47:55

significant. So remember, I asked for

47:57

three miracles. asked

48:00

away, this wasn't the first miracle I asked

48:02

for. And it was granted to me. We

48:04

read all the time, right? Morgan, we read all

48:07

the time these scriptures about, and we're

48:09

taught by our prophets, our living prophets, stories

48:12

and miracles found in our scriptures

48:15

and in words that we hear at conference. So stories

48:17

about how Jesus Christ came to help, to heal and

48:19

to lift. We read about how

48:21

we healed a man plagued with an illness for

48:23

38 years at the Pool of Bethesda, a woman

48:25

who made her way through a crowded city just

48:27

to touch his robe and be healed. A man

48:30

who had, was palsy, that was

48:32

lowered down for a roof to get near the

48:35

savior. He went out of his

48:37

way for the widow of Nain to raise her only son from

48:39

the dead. The woman at the well, Mary, Martha,

48:41

Lazarus, he came for a 14 year

48:43

old boy who had questions, who knelt

48:45

in a grove of trees to get answers to

48:48

those questions. I could go on and on. But

48:50

there are countless stories where Jesus Christ

48:53

came for so many people that so

48:55

often we don't count ourselves as

48:57

part of those stories. If

49:00

he came for so many people, not

49:02

just during his mortal ministry, but before

49:04

and after and now, and now

49:06

you can add Walker to that list. The

49:09

savior came from my son and

49:11

the savior has come for me again and again.

49:14

And I testify, I know it with everything

49:16

that I am. This isn't a belief. This

49:18

is something that I know that he will come for

49:21

you too. And I love this scripture in John 14,

49:23

18 through 19 when he

49:25

says, I will not leave you comfortless.

49:28

I will come to you. He

49:31

says the word I, and

49:33

yes, he's speaking to his disciples. When

49:35

he's getting ready to leave, right? And

49:38

he's gonna be crucified. And then

49:41

he goes on to say, he had a little while the world sees

49:43

me no more, but you see me because I live,

49:45

ye shall live also. He says,

49:48

I will come to you. He will

49:50

come. This is his promise. And

49:52

because elder Bednar perfectly because he's

49:54

a personal savior. And

49:57

I learned in that moment

49:59

to not. My son the same way.

50:02

I also did it once flew. I

50:04

didn't want to move past Flopper where she stays

50:07

sixteen and. We'll move past and filled and

50:09

other for that, I pray that has been

50:11

really interesting if I have prayed every day,

50:13

let me know my. Let.

50:15

Me continue to know my son and

50:17

heavenly father in his goodness allows me

50:19

to continue to learn more and know

50:21

my son and how the really facility

50:23

and because I believe what are the

50:26

life today more than ever. Buys.

50:28

Absolutely beautiful! Thank you so much

50:31

for sharing all of That on

50:33

camera is Ben Sasse Access to

50:35

be able to learn from you

50:38

and to steal your testimony. And.

50:40

Your trust in Heavenly Father and my

50:42

last question for you and what does

50:44

it mean to you to be All

50:47

End The Gospel of Jesus Christ. I

50:50

learned a lesson. I love it, I love you And

50:52

the death of sin. You know. I thought I knew

50:55

Jesus. I am I

50:57

the Titans. As if I did him. And so the law. But.

51:00

I can tell you that today I know

51:02

him differently. And I am seems to

51:04

be said with him. He.

51:06

This crisis carry this burden. To

51:09

remove inexpressible came Greece and

51:11

sorrow. I style I literally

51:13

thought I'd never function again

51:15

is breathing fella. Impossible.

51:18

I. Would never smile or laugh or how would

51:20

I ever survived this. I didn't want to

51:22

survive this and sometimes in the beginning and

51:24

I was like doesn't want to be honest

51:27

as anymore all my family together this. Isn't

51:29

working for me? I

51:31

can see and I've seen that.

51:34

The savior in the dark and suffering for me.

51:36

And. I know that he suffered for

51:38

all of us and all of and

51:41

everything. And my morning drain cannot comprehend

51:43

this because Justice one insurmountable. Trial almost

51:45

berries me. And. She

51:47

suffered it. For. Me:

51:50

He. Suffers a for me and

51:52

I am amazed. he has

51:54

taken the pain and sorrow and degrees and

51:56

comforted me and listed me it and she

51:59

is killing me And I owe

52:01

everything to the Savior. I love the quote

52:03

by Elder Patrick Ciaran when he says, Jesus

52:05

specializes in the seemingly impossible.

52:08

He came here to make the impossible possible,

52:11

the irredeemable, redeemable, to heal the

52:13

unhealable, to write the unwritable, to

52:15

promise the unpromisable, and he's really

52:18

good at it. In fact,

52:20

he's perfect at it. And one of the things I love

52:22

to say is, I

52:24

am a living witness of this. Like

52:26

Morgan, I am a walking miracle. I'm

52:29

living proof that the Atonement of Jesus Christ

52:31

is real and it works and it's living

52:33

and breathing. It's a

52:35

powerful gift from our heavenly parents and

52:37

their loving son. And President Nelson, a

52:39

prophet of God, said that we live

52:41

to die and we die to live.

52:43

Jesus Christ too was born

52:45

to die and he died to live. And

52:48

because of him, because of Jesus Christ and

52:50

that incredible gift of his Atonement and the

52:52

indescribable suffering on the cross in

52:55

his glorious resurrection, Walker lives and

52:57

I will live and you

53:00

will live and all of those that you love will live

53:02

because of him, we will all live.

53:04

And like I said before, this isn't a wish. It's

53:06

not a hope, it's not a desire. It's not even

53:08

a belief for me at this point. This

53:10

is truth. I know it. I

53:12

know he lives. I know Walker is alive more

53:14

today than ever. I feel it. I can't wait

53:16

to see him again and hug him. I can't

53:18

wait to stand. No, I can't wait to kneel

53:20

in the presence of my

53:22

Savior and bathe his

53:26

feet with my tears. I'm

53:28

all in because Jesus Christ was all

53:30

in and I owe everything to him.

53:34

Thank you so much Tamara. As you

53:36

were talking, I was thinking about how

53:38

your witness is so powerful, especially

53:41

as we celebrate Easter

53:43

this month and thinking

53:46

about how Mary was the first

53:48

witness of

53:50

Christ at the tomb, but far

53:52

from the last witness of

53:55

him. And

53:57

you are a witness of him and I

53:59

appreciate it. I appreciate you being

54:01

that. I appreciate your example of

54:04

working with the Savior to overcome

54:06

something unbelievably hard and I appreciate

54:09

you sharing that with us. Thank

54:11

you so, so much. Thank

54:13

you for letting me share. It means a lot to me.

54:19

We are so grateful to Tamara McFadden for

54:22

joining us on today's episode. It is

54:24

my hope that her witness of the

54:26

truthfulness of the Easter story will strengthen

54:28

your own and that we can all

54:31

prepare our hearts for this sacred holiday.

54:33

Thanks to Derek Campbell for his help with

54:36

this episode and thank you for listening. We'll

54:38

look forward to being with you again next

54:40

week.