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Hi, it's me, the

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Grand Poobah of Bah-Humbug, the

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OG Green Grump, the Grinch. From

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Wondery, Tiz the Grinch Holiday Talk

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Show is a pathetic attempt by the people of

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Whoville to use my situation as

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a teachable moment. So join

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me, the Grinch,

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along with Cindy Lou Who,

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and of course my dog Max, every

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week for this complete waste of time. Listen

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as I launch a campaign against Christmas

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cheer, grilling celebrity guests

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like chestnuts on an open fire. I'll

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try to get my heart to grow a few sizes, but

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it's not gonna work, honey. Your family

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will love the show. As you know, I'm

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famously great with kids. I'm about

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to play a clip from Tiz the Grinch Holiday Talk

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Show. Follow Tiz the Grinch Holiday Talk Show on

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the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

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From Wondery and Dr. Seuss, broadcasting

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all the way from Mount Crumpet Studios,

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let's hope the equipment stays dry. Tiz

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the Grinch Holiday Talk Show, and

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of course Grinch's dog Max. But

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first, he's greener than a Tesla parked outside

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of Greta Thunberg's house and more bitter

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than a school bus full of sour gummy

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worms. Here he is, your

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host, the

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Grinch!

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Welcome to the Grinch Show. Why? Why

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is there a Grinch Show? Well, because if you steal Christmas,

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even if you end up joining in on the festivities in the

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end, you have to pay the price. This

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is my community service. It's the brainchild

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of the Whoville Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation,

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and based

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on how much I want to be here, they

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came up with a pretty good punishment. And

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they think it will help improve my interpersonal

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skills to schmooze it up with the celebs.

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But guess what? I'm not interested in celebs.

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I refuse to talk to them. Really?

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You, not interested in celebrities? Ugh,

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I forgot you had a microphone. Everybody,

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this is my court-ordered kid producer, 12-year-old

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Cindy Lou Who. Who? You

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might remember as the little tattletale that

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sold me out to the whole town of Whoville about

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my little Christmas practical joke.

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Sorry to interrupt, but you did try

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to steal Christmas. Cindy Lou Who,

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ladies and gentlemen. Apparently, they don't have child

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labor laws in Whoville. Okay,

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fine. I'll talk to celebs, but

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good luck buttering me up, beautiful people.

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I'm the Grinch, the grand poobah of Bahambug,

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a man who looks at the oncoming Christmas season like

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someone tied to train tracks would look at an

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oncoming train with razor blades

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for wheels. But look, I'm not

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a bad guy. For instance,

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kids, I'm gonna take your side on something. Hold

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onto your seats, keep on your

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pants, the Grinch is going

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on one of his rest. I

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sure am. Parents are

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putting you to bed too early, and

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downtown Whoville, I overheard a family

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who apparently has a bedtime for their

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11-year-old son of 9 p.m. 9 p.m.

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That's like late afternoon. 9 p.m.?

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Let me tell you something.

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Your parents, not prison

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guards. It's not fair. Don't

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get me wrong, kids, for the most part, I

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think of you as feral fiendish foes. Rembunctious

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revolting rugrat reprobates. But

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on this bedtime issue, I'm with

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you. What is with your

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parents? PJ's on in 10 minutes.

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Be in bed by 9. Brush your teeth by 8. No

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sweets after 7.

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What is this, the military? How

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are kids gonna learn to take care of themselves

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when they're older? If all you do is boss them

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around like some crazy gym teacher, how

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are they supposed to sleep with the PTSD of having

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you as a parent? I say,

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let kids go to bed when they want. Let them

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develop their own sleeping

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habits. Vanishing them to their beds when

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they aren't tired just guarantees

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they'll lie in bed staring at the

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ceiling. Have you seen a ceiling

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recently? Pretty boring.

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I can't stand lying in bed

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awake at night when I can't sleep, especially

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since I've seen every episode of Elf Fights

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on Hootoo. Kids, stay

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up as late as you want. Except for you, Cindy

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Lou Who on Christmas Eve, you don't need to

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know what's going on in your house at that time.

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Ha ha, good one, Mr. Grinch.

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But actually, what you're telling our listeners

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isn't exactly the best advice. Okay,

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here we go. According to the American Academy

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of Sleep Science, kids in the age group

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are referring to need between 9 to 12 hours

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of sleep each night.

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Good thing the final police are here. Point

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taken, Cindy Lou Boo. But

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parents, just, I don't know, turn it

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down a notch over the bedtime thing.

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All your rules are given, kids' nightmares.

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Listen

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to Tiz the Grinch holiday talk show early

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and ad-free right now by joining Wundery

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Plus in the Wundery app or on

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Apple Podcasts.