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Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards

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of a parent's life, but let's be real. Some

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days, parenting can be relentless.

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I Love My Kid But is a new

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parenting podcast from Wondery that

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shares a refreshingly honest and insightful

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take on parenting. Hosted by comedians

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Megan Gailey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt

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Braunohler, they'll be your resident not-so-expert

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experts. Each week, they'll share a parenting

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story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking,

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yes, I have absolutely been there.

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Talk about what went right, what went wrong, what would

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they do differently? The next time you

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step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the

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night, you'll feel maybe a little less alone.

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If you like to laugh while listening to comedians

0:40

vent about the hardest job in the world, you

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need to check out I Love My Kid But.

0:46

I'm about to play a clip from I Love My

0:48

Kid But. While you're listening, follow

0:50

I Love My Kid But wherever you

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get your podcasts. Hey, Prime members,

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you can listen to I Love My Kid

0:57

But ad-free on

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Amazon Music. Download

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the Amazon Music app today.

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And we are back, folks.

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Before we say goodbye to Rob, we're gonna close it out

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today with our FUs of

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the week. As parents, we are inundated

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with all kinds of shit that deserves a big old

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public FU. So this is the

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platform for that. I'll go first.

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FU to my kids

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calling me bro. My

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kids have started calling me bro. No

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way. And I have never felt more

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emasculated in my entire

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life. Like, I have a three-year-old where I'm like, put

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your shoes on. And he's like,

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you do it, bro. Oh, man.

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Or like, I pooped.

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Come wipe me, bro. And I'm just-

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Where is it coming from? It's just coming from school.

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Public school, baby. It's where it's coming from.

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The teachers are like, okay, bros, line up.

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It's just Southern California. Like, everybody

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says bro. all the time. I

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think that's hilarious. And

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it's like, so then I'm forced to be like,

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I'm not your bro, which is

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like, come on. I feel it's a bad moment,

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isn't it? I used to do cocaine, you know what

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I mean? Now I'm walking around going, I'm not your

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bro. You know, like parenting just forces

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you to become the principal from the

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breakfast club. You know, like, I'm not your

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bro, mess with the bull, get the horns,

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you know? So F

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you to being called bro. Megan?

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I'm gonna say F you car seats. And

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I know, I'm not saying we don't need them,

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but like, I know some of us were

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loose in the car. Like we, it's like, listen,

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I'm buying them. I know you're saying I need them.

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I'm getting one, but I did not realize until

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yesterday.

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Wait, what do you mean you're getting one? Oh,

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I have one. No, okay, so I have one. I

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have one. I have one. We've

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got a car seat. He's in it. And now

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only by chance someone was like,

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what toddler car seat did you get? And

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I was like, what? Oh, I thought

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he was in this until he was in fifth grade.

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We just swapped out like the toddler

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one. And my daughter's tall. Like

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my daughter's like pretty

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tall. She was like, she was like, just leaning

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back backwards the whole time. Because my wife was

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very adamant that because it's really about weight and

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she's a little beanpole. So it's like, you know,

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so it's supposed to be about weight, but like her feet are

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like dragging on the floor, you know? But

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yeah, so we just

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swapped ours out and she's in like this

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big kid car seat.

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It's a big deal. And those are, but

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now I've got to find the

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toddler one, whatever, I'll do that. But

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then everyone's like, you gotta hang on to the baby

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car seat just in case. And there's all

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these ways to like store. It can't

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be just in my garage. People are like, you

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need to put it in. What are you talking about?

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This is a thing, Kurt. You're not in these mom groups. These bitches

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are nuts. They got

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a special storage for your baby

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car seat? That's what all the

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rich moms are saying. And I'm like,

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can I get it in your poor mom's?

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where it's like just pick shit

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off the side of the road. I

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don't wanna be with these bitches that

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have like nice things.

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The crazy thing is also when

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we swapped out our toddler seat

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for the big girl seat, like I just

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sort of was curious to see like,

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what's under these pads? Oh. And

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it is a nightmare.

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It's so upsetting. It's like goldfish

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from four years ago. And

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have you ever watched the kid notice

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any of it? Cause then it's immediate like,

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and it's like don't eat it, oh god. They'll immediately

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eat whatever's like been shoved underneath their

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butt for like eight years. Yeah.

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Ugh. Chris, what's your FU buddy?

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My FU of the week is

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to swim diapers. They

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do a good job of holding like

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poop in, and pee in. But

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when you take them off, it's like, how the fuck do you

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slide this thing off without making your baby's

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thigh look like a ponuchuck a lot? Like

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it's really, it's

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bad. And then so this happened

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last week. I was like trying to rip through the side

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of it. So I wouldn't have to pull him down. Like I was fucking

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Hulk Hogan ripping off his shirt. And then ended

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up happening to like knock through the

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side of it with my teeth and

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like a fucking feral raccoon.

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And did it, but still had to throw away

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some poor Airbnb hosts beach

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towel that I borrowed. I

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hate them so much. Was your

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child swimming with poop

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in their diaper? How well do they

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work? They work surprisingly well. They're

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really tight. They are very

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tight. And she

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was, there wasn't poop when she went in

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the pool and then you'll notice a little

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bit. It gets a little brown. Yeah.

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Yeah, she got in there, she said, did she just, nice. She

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was like, oh, did dad just get a cocktail? Pfft.

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And then in all of their defense, it's like, and

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maybe this is like the white trash in me. I've never

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gotten in a pool and not peed. Like I've peed in

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every single pool I've ever been. Accidental or just

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like, I'm not gonna get out. Then I'm like, I don't,

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my son can pee here.

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I don't care. I gotta go. I don't

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like this. I don't like this.

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I don't like this. It's bad,

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it's gross. I'm not shitting in the

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pools,

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but I definitely get in and go, this is warmer than I thought.

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And you know, I pee a little. So we're

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swimming in your toilet. Yes,

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but it's also a party where all the pee

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wants to go. Yeah, so they're having a good

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time. So it's a pee pee party. My

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brother, and he'll be mad that I'm telling you this, but

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when his kid was, I don't know, like

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four or five, we

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were swimming altogether. And he just said to

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my brother, can I pee in the pool? And he's

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like, yeah.

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And like he just openly lets kids pee

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in the pool. Kids are gonna pee in the pool. I get it. I'd

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say no in front of Mick's company. Right, right. He

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was in front of his brother. But then the kid

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got out of the pool and then stood

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at the side, took a piece out, and pissed

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into it. Into the pool? The

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pool standing

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outside of the pool. And

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I was like, well, it's okay. If

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he pays in the pool, but please don't have a pee

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from afar into the pool. Yeah, because he's

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already out. He's already out of the pool.

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But that was the part that he loved about

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it, was to piss into the pool. Like a

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little Italian statue. Yeah,

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and they didn't care at all. Okay, Rob, what is your

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FU of the week? I would

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say FU to grilled cheeses

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because that's all we're

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eating right now. That's all my daughter eats right now.

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I would say that and quesadilla. So

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basically cheese. Cheese

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is all that my daughter will

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eat and we can't get past it. Like we

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cannot get her to open

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up her mind to anything but a cheese-based

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fried doughy

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thing. But

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at least quesadilla is

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on almost every kid menu. Yes. At least.

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My son will only

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eat cheese sandwiches,

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like a grilled cheese or quesadilla, but

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he also has a dairy allergy. And

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so, so we have to make it

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with fake cheese. But then when you

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go out, there's all the things that he loves to

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eat. And then he'll like just,

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if Olive gets it or something, he has to have it. And then

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it's just hell for like two days. I've

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eaten Gus's special pizza before. Yeah, yeah. Like

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I've had like an in and someone's like, that's Gus's. And

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I'm like, ah, spit it out. Spit it out.