0:16

Welcome to and then

0:16

it's a podcast where we look at

0:19

what comes after the struggle, a

0:19

tough season, or even just a

0:23

setback. My name is Susie

0:23

Chafin. And I'm absolutely

0:27

passionate about helping people

0:27

transform from struggle, and

0:31

surviving, to absolutely

0:31

thriving.

0:35

If you are anything like me in

0:35

the beginning of the year, I

0:40

take inventory. Do you do that?

0:40

I look back. And I think, you

0:44

know, what? Am I really proud of

0:44

what what did I do well, this

0:48

last year, and then I look at

0:48

what did I miss the mark on?

0:52

What do I want to change? It's a

0:52

reset of sorts, I wouldn't

0:56

really call it a resolution. But

0:56

it's a time to determine, you

1:01

know, what am I on track for?

1:01

What do I want to leave as my

1:04

legacy in this world. And what I found is the number

1:06

one detriment to achieving the

1:12

things that I feel like I'm

1:12

supposed to do, or God put me on

1:17

this planet to do, or

1:17

distractions. And so it's we're

1:23

going to talk about today.

1:23

distractions, in my opinion, are

1:28

the number one Joy killer,

1:28

Mission robber, purpose stealer

1:34

we can encounter. I also believe it's one of the

1:36

enemy's greatest tools, he

1:40

doesn't really have to work that

1:40

hard to throw big sin or

1:43

temptation in our way, when we

1:43

can grow so busy doing

1:48

unnecessary tasks, busy tasks,

1:48

even tasks that seems seemingly

1:53

good that we miss our greater

1:53

purpose, that unique gift that

1:59

God has given you to give to the

1:59

world.

2:04

I want to share a story to kind

2:04

of illustrate the power of

2:09

distraction. One time when our

2:09

kids were very small, the twins

2:15

were nine months old, we had an

2:15

almost six year old and a four

2:19

year old and we thought it would

2:19

be really great to drive to

2:22

Colorado Springs. We loaded up

2:22

our suburban and the entire

2:29

drive, the 12 hour drive from

2:29

Dallas to Colorado Springs. The

2:35

twins cried and cried and cried.

2:35

Sometimes simultaneously,

2:42

sometimes individually. But

2:42

there was not even a probably a

2:47

30 minute period and that whole

2:47

12 hour track or somebody wasn't

2:53

screaming and it was exhausting.

2:53

And we made the very wise

2:58

decision to when we made the

2:58

return trip that like we are

3:02

never living that ever, ever

3:02

again. So we were like we're

3:09

going to change up the strategy.

3:09

And we're going to drive through

3:13

the night my husband and I were

3:13

going to take turns that way all

3:17

of the kiddos could be sleeping,

3:17

and we could have a peaceful

3:21

drive home. Well, the strategy worked great.

3:23

And it came time for my my turn

3:28

to be driving and it was the it

3:28

was before you had Google Maps

3:33

or Apple Maps or navigation on

3:33

your car. I got all you had was

3:38

your printed out Mapquest

3:38

directions. I know that makes me

3:42

a dinosaur, but that's what we

3:42

had. And as we were approaching

3:47

Amarillo, there was one

3:47

particular area that I needed to

3:50

be very aware of as to where to

3:50

stay on the road and exit and

3:56

not turn or something like that. And my

3:59

husband grilled me on it. Okay,

4:03

when we get here, you have to do

4:03

this and this and this and this

4:06

and I'm like, okay, got it. It's

4:06

like no, do you understand,

4:09

like, you can't do this or this.

4:09

I can't remember what it was.

4:13

And you know, because I'm

4:13

getting annoyed now because I'm

4:15

like, I got it man. Like, I'm

4:15

not an idiot. I know how to

4:19

drive. Like I can do this. So he

4:19

trusts me to that. And we get

4:26

through Amarillo. I do what I'm

4:26

supposed to do. And I keep

4:29

driving. About two hours later, my

4:31

husband wakes up and he's

4:35

watching the signs go by, you

4:35

know, one after the other show.

4:40

And he's like, Suze, where are

4:40

we? And I'm like we're on the

4:46

Whatever road we were supposed

4:46

to be on. And I set it very

4:49

convincingly. I was convinced we

4:49

were on the right road.

4:54

And my husband's like, looks

4:54

he's like No, no, that's not

5:00

where we are, we have to stop,

5:00

we have to turn around, we're in

5:03

the wrong place. And, much to my dismay, we were

5:07

in the wrong place. Somehow, I

5:15

had gotten distracted, I had

5:15

done something that I thought

5:19

was right. But we were

5:19

completely lost. And I didn't

5:23

even know it. And that mistake

5:23

cost us not only the two hours

5:28

going in one direction, but

5:28

another two hours just to get

5:32

back to Amarillo to go to get

5:32

back in the right spot, a four

5:37

hour waste of blissful sleep.

5:43

And it's a it's a story just to

5:43

illustrate that when you get

5:48

distracted, there's a cost. And when you get

5:50

distracted, you don't even

5:55

always know it, you feel like

5:55

I'm in the right place. I'm

5:58

doing what I'm supposed to be

5:58

doing. This is good. I'm on the

6:01

right track. And so today, I want to really

6:05

dive into this because you could

6:07

be distracted right now, you

6:07

could be on the wrong track. And

6:12

there could be a really great

6:12

cost that's more than just a

6:15

four hour loss of blissful

6:15

sleeping children. It could be,

6:21

it could be so much more, it

6:21

could be the mark that you were

6:24

supposed to make on this world. So I want to dig into first,

6:26

what are the ways that we can

6:31

become distracted? We have become so good at

6:34

numbing our minds. Let's think

6:41

about some of the ways we do

6:41

that. binge watching Netflix, or

6:46

Amazon Prime, or Disney plus, or

6:46

Hulu or whatever it is that you

6:51

subscribe to. We can we can get

6:51

sucked into it for days,

6:56

weekends, a whole weekend can be

6:56

gone from watching a TV series.

7:01

Or how about when we wake up in

7:01

the morning and we reach over to

7:05

our phone and the day starts

7:05

with Reddit, tick tock

7:09

Instagram, Facebook, whatever.

7:09

And it continues that way

7:13

throughout the day whenever we

7:13

have a free moment. Lunch Break

7:18

time in the carpool line that we

7:18

go to what is nine, Monday night

7:24

mind numbing. And we looked at

7:24

those forms of distraction.

7:30

Video games I know for kids in

7:30

my children's generation that

7:34

these 20 year olds, these

7:34

teenagers, video games are huge,

7:38

and they take such such blocks

7:38

of time.

7:42

But if you're an oldie like me,

7:42

it can even be things like

7:45

Wordle I admit it. I love

7:45

Wordle.

7:51

And in the moment, it's like

7:51

yeah, everybody just needs some

7:54

downtime, you just need some

7:54

time to not think which is true.

7:59

We do need to reset. But when the downtime turns into

8:02

hours, weeks, months in a given

8:08

year, what has been the cost?

8:15

What else could have been

8:15

learned? Done? Loved, given,

8:23

shared, instead of just been mindlessly

8:25

consumed?

8:30

Of course, there's other distractions to fear. Yeah. Well, what if I,

8:33

what if I do actually do what

8:40

God has really written on my

8:40

heart that I feel like I'm

8:42

supposed to do and I try it, and

8:42

I fail?

8:47

Well, guess what, you probably

8:47

aren't going to fail. That's

8:49

totally normal. And you're

8:49

probably going to succeed some

8:52

failure just means you learned

8:52

something, it just means you're

8:55

putting yourself out there.

8:55

failures, not to be feared

8:58

failures, just part of the growth. To comfortable, who sometimes we

9:02

are just so comfortable exactly

9:07

where we are. And I could tell

9:07

you in this past year and 2022,

9:13

that was something I really

9:13

wrestled with. I found myself in

9:17

a role professionally. That was

9:17

not utilizing my gifts, even

9:24

though it was comfortable. And I

9:24

could do it.

9:28

It was not something I was made

9:28

to do. And I found myself

9:34

saying, I just God put me on the earth to do

9:37

forth in this. This I have

9:41

important work to do. And even

9:41

though I was making a nice

9:46

income, even though it was

9:49

work that I could do, it wasn't what I needed to do.

9:52

And I had to quit. It's a little

9:57

scary. Is very liberating.

10:00

And now it's given me the time

10:00

and energy and excitement to

10:04

really pursue the things that I

10:04

do believe God has put

10:09

is written in my heart for me to

10:09

do. And to accomplish

10:15

presentments all band that can

10:15

be a big distraction. It's

10:21

really easy to sit in that miry

10:21

pit of resentment. Sometimes we

10:28

love just kind of rolling

10:28

around. And that resentment and

10:31

rage that we don't want to get

10:31

out, it's too too comfortable.

10:36

Maybe it's resenting that

10:36

something that was stolen from

10:41

you in childhood or something

10:41

that was really wrong to you.

10:46

And it's never quite healed. And

10:46

you just can't seem to move

10:52

forward. Or maybe a relationship that

10:54

ended that you didn't want it to

10:59

end. You're just kind of stuck

10:59

there, unable to move on.

11:04

Or unforgiveness for something

11:04

that was done to you, that

11:08

wounded you and wronged you

11:08

deeply. And instead of being

11:12

able to move forward with

11:12

healing, you remain stuck in a

11:17

pattern of victimhood. And I'm not saying wounds

11:19

shouldn't be recognized. tended

11:24

to cared for, counseled,

11:24

nurtured, healed.

11:30

But God does not want you to

11:30

stay in that miry pit. He wants

11:36

you to come out and have a

11:36

victorious life. One that's full

11:40

of hope, and meaning and lasting

11:40

legacy.

11:46

Busyness, that can be a real

11:46

distraction, right? We get so

11:51

involved in so many worthy,

11:51

great things that we have no

11:56

margin for what's really

11:56

important. And I can definitely

12:01

attest to have being a busyness

12:01

person, the person who said yes

12:06

to being on the silent auction

12:06

fundraising committee, driving

12:10

countless carpools, booster

12:10

clubs PTAs, serving on the

12:16

boards. It feels great, like, wow, I'm

12:18

doing things that are important.

12:22

They're all good things. But do

12:22

we really need to be in all of

12:25

them? Do we have to say yes to

12:26

everything?

12:30

Do we have margin left in life

12:30

for the things that could be

12:35

even more important? Or what about the life that we

12:40

the lie that we tell ourselves?

12:45

That happiness will come when

12:45

fill in the blank? I don't know

12:50

about you. But here's few of the

12:50

ones that I've been guilty of

12:55

telling myself. Oh, you know,

12:55

when when the baby's sleep

13:02

through the night? Oh, yes,

13:02

that's, that's when things will

13:05

be better. When we have a little

13:05

extra in the bank account,

13:11

when we can finally take that

13:11

nice vacation. When we can have

13:15

date night, wouldn't it be great

13:15

just to have three hours of

13:19

adult conversation. When we can't get a bigger

13:22

house, oh, just more room, we

13:25

just need more room to spread

13:25

out. And when we get the kids

13:29

out of college, when we get that

13:29

when you are when I get that

13:33

promotion, oh, then everything

13:33

will be better. It'll be just

13:37

Just what we wanted. When When,

13:37

when, when when Joy robbers,

13:44

those are Joy robbers. Those

13:44

things may or may not happen.

13:50

But living thinking that any one

13:50

of those things is going to be

13:54

what fulfills you or brings you

13:54

happiness or makes the

13:57

difference, then you are robbing

13:57

yourself of the absolute

14:01

wonderful blessing you are in today. You know what if you do get that

14:04

bigger house, you get the bigger

14:06

house and then all of a sudden,

14:06

you could feel in bondage to it.

14:11

The taxes, the maintenance, the

14:11

cleaning, the sheer keeping up

14:16

of the house, something that was

14:16

supposed to be a blessing is now

14:19

feels like a curse. Or you get

14:19

the promotion. And it comes with

14:25

debilitating stress and travel.

14:25

And while you may still be with

14:31

your family and may be present

14:31

with them, you're not present

14:35

because you're thinking and

14:35

stressed out about work.

14:39

Eliminate the win, eliminate the

14:39

Win win when we do this when

14:44

this happens when that happens.

14:44

Look for the now. Where am I

14:49

now? Look for the amazing,

14:49

wonderful things you have now.

14:56

The last distraction to be aware

14:56

of is the one of good

14:59

intentions. It's, and it's a dangerous one.

15:00

Because we actually believe that

15:04

we are going to do whatever it

15:04

is that we intend to do.

15:09

You know what, tomorrow off tomorrow, I'm going to start writing that book.

15:13

Tomorrow, I'm gonna wake up in

15:13

the morning, I'm going to start

15:16

exercising. Yeah, I've always

15:16

wanted to serve in prison

15:21

ministries, I'm gonna look into

15:21

that tomorrow.

15:25

And we trick ourselves into

15:25

thinking that because we want

15:28

to, and because we believe that

15:28

we will tomorrow, we actually

15:33

believe that we will, that tomorrow comes. And most

15:35

times, very often. And again, we

15:42

get distracted with the with the

15:42

social media, scrolling, the

15:46

Netflix, the whatever, we pin it

15:46

again for the future. We don't

15:51

make the call to the loved one.

15:51

We don't begin the book. We

15:56

don't begin the ministry, we

15:56

don't begin the podcast,

16:00

whatever it is, because you know

16:00

what we have tomorrow.

16:06

There is a cost. Remember, I

16:06

talked about the drive that that

16:10

we lost four hours of a blissful

16:10

car full of sleeping kids, that

16:16

was a real cost? What is the cost of being

16:18

distracted right now costing

16:22

you? What dreams? Have you given up

16:24

on? What relationships are no longer

16:27

functioning?

16:31

What are the passions? That you

16:31

know God put in your heart? He

16:35

knows you know, that he put this

16:35

dream, this desire this love of

16:41

something in your heart, and you

16:41

have not yet actualized on it?

16:46

What is it that you want? Do you

16:46

want to write a book? Do you

16:51

want to volunteer? Do you want

16:51

to spend time with your parents?

16:56

What is the great passion that

16:56

God has grafted on your heart,

17:00

that you have the unique ability

17:03

and desire and passion to give.

17:09

So as we wrap up, I want to

17:09

challenge you limit your screen

17:12

time how device down policy should come

17:15

through the door, like maybe you

17:18

have a box, throw it in there.

17:18

Maybe you only look at it so

17:21

many hours a day, maybe you

17:21

decide I'm only going to look at

17:25

email. So this time or at this

17:25

time per day,

17:29

audit yourself weekly, daily.

17:29

How are you doing? Are you

17:33

getting, you know, kind of

17:33

suckered back into the

17:36

distraction world? Are you

17:36

finding that you're being more

17:39

intentional? The last thing I would say is

17:42

bring others in

17:48

business coaching, performance

17:48

coaching of therapy, friends,

17:54

colleagues, bring these people

17:54

into your life who can help you

18:00

be more on purpose?

18:03

Now, don't go to the people who

18:03

are more distracted Did you

18:08

don't go to the people who

18:08

played more video games than you

18:11

or who watch more Netflix than

18:11

you that will do nothing except

18:16

make you feel like you're not as

18:16

distracted as they are. You need

18:20

to be around people who are

18:20

living on purpose and creating

18:25

the life they want. And helping

18:25

you be accountable to creating

18:29

the life you want. Share from

18:29

them learn from them. What do

18:34

they do to stay on track and

18:34

live on purpose?

18:40

Enclosing Life is short. It is

18:40

so short.

18:45

No one is promised tomorrow. And

18:45

you have this one great life and

18:51

you have a legacy to live and to

18:51

give. You have gifts to share.

18:58

You were created to do something

18:58

unique and purposeful.

19:03

Don't get distracted.

19:07

If you found today's content

19:07

helpful, it would mean the

19:11

absolute world for me. If you

19:11

could rate it and review it. Be

19:16

sure to subscribe, like and

19:16

follow to stay up to date with

19:20

the latest episodes. We'll see

19:20

you next time.