0:00

Our perception. Of

0:02

reality even where we realize that

0:05

my. There are

0:07

other humans in the world

0:09

and that all of their.

0:12

Viewpoints: Are vantage points

0:14

in which they experience life. Or

0:17

as. Real

0:19

seeming as ours. We.

0:22

Still can't get out of

0:24

the illusion that we feel

0:26

like ours is somehow the

0:28

most important and relative and

0:30

somehow the fullest view of

0:32

what's quote unquote happening. What

0:36

an amazing magic trick that the

0:38

mind plays on itself. Is

0:41

a good tool. It's good

0:44

to keeps us focus to

0:46

keeps us ah surviving. Ultimately

0:48

muslims with keep thinking network

0:50

sort of important. Than

0:53

that way, we'll keep trying to be

0:55

successful and to eat food and to

0:57

procreate and all that type of things

0:59

that humans tend to do. and that's

1:01

a fun. A fun illusion

1:04

our to play with. The also a out a

1:06

little bit about something about that in my my

1:08

new book that will be out in it's like

1:10

the one of the interesting reasons why she liked

1:12

as because we are. Him. Mammals

1:14

that move through three dimensional space.

1:17

To. Have eyes and the front of our

1:19

heads and like everywhere that we take our

1:22

bodies. With. Our feet of course.

1:25

They everything. Goes is. Is.

1:28

Responding to us because we're

1:31

entering environments. And.

1:34

Looking at other things as we enter

1:36

and so those things look at us

1:39

and etc. etc. And

1:42

so because of that we in like if

1:44

there's a if hurt a fly buzzing around

1:46

it comes over by you are thinking that

1:48

flies coming to me cetera and so because

1:51

we're looking out of the front of our

1:53

faces. And. Our perception is

1:55

moving forward and outwards. We.

1:57

Naturally feel like the rest of the

1:59

world. is aimed

2:01

specifically at us because

2:04

we are perceiving a spotlight of the rest

2:06

of the world. And

2:08

so it gives us the illusion that everything is

2:10

kind of focused on us, that we are the

2:12

center of the story. Whenever

2:15

in truth, we're all background characters, which

2:17

is a very liberating thing to understand.

2:20

That's one of the, I think, the better

2:23

parts about getting older and maybe it's

2:25

less about me

2:27

getting older and more about me just

2:29

getting over myself a little bit because,

2:32

or a lot bit. Because

2:35

now I really don't think I'm

2:37

special. I

2:40

think I'm less special. I think

2:42

I'm less than special. I

2:44

really, really do. I'm

2:49

so un-charmed

2:51

by my own personality

2:55

that it's really,

2:57

it's great. You know, it's great. It's

2:59

funny. I mean, whenever, you know, when I was

3:01

younger, I used to feel

3:04

like something just special. I

3:06

felt like I was this,

3:11

you know, unique recipe of smartness

3:15

and width and

3:18

depth and

3:20

philosophical understanding. And

3:25

yeah, I just, time went on and the more

3:27

like I let go of the

3:29

structure in the fabric of my

3:33

perceived identity, the

3:35

more that that just kind of like

3:37

fell away. And yeah,

3:43

it's interesting to just kind of like keep

3:45

letting that feeling go, that feeling

3:48

of like specialness. And

3:52

there was also like, you know, if you

3:54

like hanging out with a table of people

3:58

And you have a couple of beers or whatever. And

4:00

you're talking in the conversation slung. whenever.

4:04

I was younger, I used to always

4:06

see a like yeah, whatever. I'm Mike.

4:08

I'm not normally super talkative. But

4:11

if I'm in the situation like that our

4:13

own kind of fled it. I love the

4:16

and in the whole table becomes. Entertained.

4:19

Billie Me. And I

4:21

would notice like yaks people really

4:23

like listen to me. And

4:26

my favourite talk and

4:28

so. I get

4:30

the oh that was some some admirable quality

4:33

isn't like that anyone to hit me like

4:35

ice away second. Perhaps. Sat

4:37

there just listening because I'm talking.

4:40

Not. Because I'm captivating. I

4:44

thought I was captivating because I'd had

4:46

couple beers. You

4:48

know, So. Yeah,

4:51

really liberating. Really great to let

4:53

go of that stuff for me

4:55

Anyway, the stop filming special and

4:57

to just start ceiling lights. On.

5:00

As I discontinued, I guess maturing

5:02

continued on the past. Ah,

5:05

letting go of that. Sense

5:08

of singularity. Ultimately. Ultimately,

5:12

site. Creating

5:15

a kind of of a boundary between

5:17

you and other people. You.

5:20

Know it's like the idea that. You're.

5:23

Somehow. Different

5:27

than everyone else. In Crete

5:30

second otherness increases Censor fight. He

5:36

ultimately it's a self delusion. Yeah.

5:38

Because you're thinking that like. Ah,

5:42

Your. Ego is more finely polish

5:44

the negroes of others. And

5:47

it's a weird trap door that we can

5:50

get into because it's. Is.

5:53

somehow doesn't seal to because

5:55

we're toll also to like

5:57

feel unique and special And

8:00

now you're making yourself special again because

8:03

you are claiming

8:06

a greater deal of

8:08

suffering that other people can't

8:11

understand. And

8:13

so therefore you're now above them and

8:16

you're the weight that you must carry

8:18

and your strength in carrying

8:21

this negative heaviness. So

8:25

that thing always like materializes until

8:28

you look at it directly,

8:31

I suppose. I

8:33

just tried to look at it more and more directly over

8:35

the years because I see how

8:37

it just, it

8:40

takes me away from my goal. You

8:43

know, my goal is to just

8:47

be and to embrace

8:54

the real nature of now without

8:57

any of that stuff that separates me

8:59

from other people. And

9:03

I'm still not, I mean, I'm better at

9:05

it now, but I'm not, you

9:07

know, I still fight with it

9:09

constantly. You

9:12

know, in social situations, I kind

9:14

of tend to put

9:17

up a little bit of distance and a little bit of a

9:19

wall at first with a lot of people. And

9:24

that's not who I want to be. You

9:27

know, if, but the

9:29

weird thing is that like a part of me,

9:33

that's who I am, like to a degree.

9:38

But then that

9:42

even thinking like that's who I am, if I

9:44

zoom out a little bit on that, it's like, Oh

9:46

no, that's another grasping at this identity

9:49

structure to keep yourself feeling safe.

9:54

And the real work is like letting go of

9:56

those things. Because if I were to look at it, if I was

9:58

to look back, I would have to look back and back on

10:00

a book of my life and how

10:02

other people thought of me, I

10:05

think I don't want to be the guy that's

10:07

like showing up places and is

10:09

like, got this like noir film energy,

10:14

you know, but that's

10:16

sort of like how I am a lot of times

10:19

unless I, you know, open up the

10:21

door and become warm and friendly

10:23

and engaging and

10:25

I'll be warm and friendly in those moments too,

10:27

I'm just a lot more reserved as all it

10:29

is. I

10:32

think that's a good way to say it. Not distant. I'm

10:35

just very reserved a lot of times in

10:37

like social situations where I don't know

10:40

people or even if I do know people,

10:44

just very, very reserved. And

10:47

if I look back at the story, you know, if I were

10:49

to look at it and I think, how do I, how would,

10:51

if other people described to me, they

10:53

probably wouldn't think of those moments I'm thinking

10:55

because that's not, that's maybe 20% of how

10:57

I am. But

11:01

I want them to think who I

11:04

want to be for others is someone who is

11:06

always warm and open

11:08

and comfortable and people that they

11:10

feel immediately like at ease around.

11:16

What is interesting is that even whenever I

11:18

feel like I'm being very reserved, that

11:20

people will tell me that they feel like

11:24

calm around me, which

11:27

is good. It's good. But I want to, you know,

11:29

I recognize it. It's one of those

11:31

things. It's another one of those weird grasping

11:34

things of just feeling

11:36

like, like a little bit

11:38

of tension, a little bit of uptightness,

11:41

you know? So

11:43

the point is that the work just always goes on

11:46

and on and on. And he

11:48

gets more fine tuned and it's like, you're

11:50

just using like finer grain or sheets of

11:52

sandpaper to get like a smoother and smoother

11:54

wood essentially. But

11:57

I really, the more that I just keep watching

11:59

for those. things and

12:01

noticing them like these weird layers

12:04

that I have myself that I hold

12:06

on to, the

12:09

more I can let go of them. You know, whenever

12:11

you label, that's a really useful

12:14

thing is like naming these things to yourself.

12:18

If one of you notice a behavior or like

12:20

a way of thinking that you get into

12:22

that you don't want to

12:24

be anymore, like naming it

12:26

to yourself is really valuable. Like

12:28

I was just doing that for

12:31

you all as an example. I'm

12:33

like something of my own where

12:35

it's like, okay,

12:38

I have this feeling that I don't like,

12:40

I'd like to change because I want to

12:42

be as like open,

12:45

warm, and comfortable for

12:47

others as I can. But

12:49

I recognize that sometimes I'm really reserved

12:51

at the beginning. And

12:54

I want to cut down

12:56

the time it takes me to be really

12:59

reserved to being super just normal, normal. And

13:02

so by naming that thing

13:04

to myself, I can

13:08

self actualize it, I can see it

13:10

more clearly and recognize it. It's

13:12

like, oh, there's a label on that now. And

13:15

that brings it up and puts it into view

13:17

of mind. So then it's

13:19

recognized like really easily, there's a shape to

13:21

it, there's a description to it. It's

13:24

got direction and motion. It's like, okay,

13:26

there's the thing and I want, here's

13:28

when it appears and here's how I

13:30

am going to mindfully work

13:33

on that to release it. So

13:35

labeling those things, recognizing

13:37

those little smaller things

13:39

about your

13:41

identity, old

13:43

self-imposed constrictions that

13:47

you know are there, but you're

13:49

trying to look at a change, you

13:51

know, just watching them, healing

13:54

them when they arise, labeling

13:56

them, and then letting

13:59

them go. is so, so

14:01

valuable because the deeper you get into

14:03

that, the more free you

14:05

start to feel and the more at ease

14:07

you start to feel. Because

14:09

you get

14:12

closer to the sense of

14:16

real freedom and

14:18

balance. And

14:21

whenever you're engaging with other people, there's

14:24

none of that weird, like,

14:28

withholding. There's none

14:30

of that weird

14:32

discomfort. There's no

14:35

anxiety. There's

14:37

no judgment. There's no comparison.

14:42

There's just two

14:45

people being

14:48

there and connecting as one. And

14:51

that's really the goal. That's one of the most important

14:53

thing in life. It's

14:56

not material. It's not status.

14:59

Not any of that stuff. It's

15:02

just being able to be human

15:06

and share whatever this is with

15:09

others, as unfiltered

15:12

and as with much genuineness

15:14

as possible.