0:01

Because

0:01

when you were asking me where my style fucking

0:03

came from yeah, I think it would be I

0:06

don't think I would do any of that if I

0:08

wasn't an addict first You know

0:10

I mean, I do think a lot of this

0:12

is like

0:13

Two people trying to fucking

0:16

stay sober by saying shit. Yeah, cuz

0:18

you're not I Assume

0:20

if you're an addict on this side of it.

0:23

Yeah

0:24

You've seen some shit yeah, and

0:26

you've done some regretful shit. Yeah,

0:28

and you've seen in for it met friends So there must

0:31

be at some level You're not

0:33

like what? Okay

0:54

Hello

0:59

everybody and welcome to

1:02

the final episode of

1:04

Ari Shafir's Skeptic Tank I'm

1:06

your host Ari Shafir, and this is Ari Shafir's

1:09

Skeptic Tank podcast. It's a podcast of which

1:11

I'm the host I'm Ari Shafir, and I'm your host for the evening

1:14

A new episode the final episode of

1:17

Ari Shafir's Skeptic Tank podcast. I'm Ari

1:19

Shafir. I'll be your host for the evening Welcome

1:21

everybody to the final episode what

1:23

a run Celebrations

1:27

It's over

1:29

Twelve and a half years what a great

1:31

run. You've heard some good ones. You've

1:33

heard some solid solid interviews I'm

1:37

losing my voice I've

1:40

been burning the candles on both ends trying to get this

1:43

done and trying to get my vacation ready I'm going

1:45

on a summer break My first

1:47

summer break in a long long long

1:49

time Twelve years I

1:52

haven't had off for the summer. I Know

1:54

you could buy like what do you mean? Then you go to Ecuador for six

1:57

months? Yeah, October through May Uh,

2:00

well, what about Southeast Asia? January

2:02

through April. Summer

2:05

break. I'm doing it. I'm not going to have anything.

2:08

I'm not going to be on camera for a month. That's

2:10

my goal. Not to be recorded at

2:12

all for one month. And then after that, guys,

2:15

I'm not going away forever. I'll still be on your podcast.

2:17

I'll do a ton of other people's podcasts, but

2:19

right now we're not talking about that. Right

2:22

now we're talking about this episode of Ari

2:24

Shafir's Skeptor Tank. And man, I

2:26

planned out three months ago,

2:28

who I wanted to be my last episode and it was this guy,

2:31

Ron Bennington, Radio Ron. Here's

2:33

why. Um, not

2:36

only is he great, I don't see one of the

2:38

greatest dudes in the planet, one of the greatest radio

2:41

personalities around

2:43

and an excellent comic as well.

2:46

But he is who I modeled my interview

2:48

style after for Ari Shafir's

2:50

Skeptor Tank podcast, if you would like to any

2:53

of the deep interviews that I've done, you

2:55

know that style comes from

2:58

Ron Bennington. He's the greatest. I

3:00

would listen to his unmasked. I remember hearing

3:03

an unmasked with, uh, with Jim Norton and going, I

3:05

thought it was, I thought it was his album. I was just illegally downloading

3:07

Napster days where you just get everything. And I was into comedy

3:09

albums for awhile, burning them on CDs and stuff. And

3:12

I got unmasked with Jim. I was just figured Jim Norton

3:14

was saying unmasked like, uh, I

3:16

don't know. It's a title. It's a good title. Um,

3:20

I heard it was this very interesting interview

3:23

and, and it was like pre-podcast. And

3:26

Ron was doing it. He was really asking

3:28

these interesting questions and getting people to talk.

3:31

Talk, talk. All you want to do is talk, talk.

3:34

Um,

3:36

and when I started doing this podcast, I was

3:38

like, that's who I had in mind for everyone. Let

3:41

me tell you, uh, before we go.

3:44

Some of my favorite interviews, some of my favorite

3:47

podcasts from over the years. And

3:50

then you can, if you want, go

3:53

listen to them one more time. I just

3:55

made a quick list. I'll run through them. Ooh,

3:59

damn, it's a lot. I would,

4:01

uh, if you want to listen to any of these, if you liked them,

4:03

listen to them quickly.

4:05

Get in there and listen to them quick. Uh, the

4:07

Nut House, Prostitutifruti, Buddhism,

4:09

Love Scam, Ego, Chester the Malester,

4:12

Anonymous Podcast, part

4:14

one and two, Caddyshack and Scrappy

4:16

Doo, with

4:17

Greg Fitsimons. I show you who he's with. Bernie Stevens,

4:19

some Hooker, Duncan, uh, Sarah

4:22

Tiana, I think, uh, I think, uh,

4:24

Burt or, uh, Duncan, a

4:26

guy who got molested when he was younger,

4:28

people from Anonymous. Childless with Don Marrero,

4:31

Road Rage with Don Barris, Deliverance with

4:33

Dana Chenonia, I'll talk about them in a second. Art

4:36

of War with Greg Jackson, Going

4:38

Blind, Segura,

4:40

Heroin, Down in the Hole, Heroin Addict,

4:43

something P, Donovan

4:45

P, Lefty Liberty, John Doar, Jimmy

4:47

Doar, Shroomfest 2013, especially Cutting,

4:51

Jesse Dodge, a Cutter, you know what dad, with a

4:53

brand new father, Robert

4:55

Kelly, 45 Days of Father, Rape and Eggs

4:58

with Kathleen McGee, Fuck the Government with Dave Smith 2013, Maniac,

5:01

Jay Fod, Happiness with Steve Simone, uh,

5:04

Gender Bender with Lauren Hennessey, uh,

5:06

the first of my

5:08

two interviews with, uh, Transpeople 2013. If

5:12

you've been around for this podcast, we heard some stuff,

5:15

Revenge for the Holocaust, Asperger, The Streets

5:17

USA with a drug dealer, fucking gang

5:19

member, Divorce of course, Thrilled, Black

5:21

Lantern with Miss Pat, HIV for Victory

5:23

with Dead Man Jeff Scott, Beijing Ling, Popo,

5:26

Injection Protection, Prison Rules, Tenement,

5:29

when Nick Mullen was living in a tenement apartment in 2015,

5:31

uh, Copkul Grap, uh,

5:34

from Thailand, Paul Z, Take Me Out to the

5:36

Ball Game, that was a good one, The Herb, the first Joe

5:38

List one, uh, First Responder,

5:40

Take a Hike,

5:41

Theo Von, Money for Nothing, Cleavage Day,

5:44

Night Fits

5:46

in Alaska with Dan Soder, New York Pizza Party

5:48

with Alexis Guerrero, we just went on a pizza tour in New York, Running

5:51

of the Bulls with Kai and Sloss, uh,

5:53

Not All Those Who Wander are Lost with

5:56

Henry Rollins, The Rake, R-E-L,

5:58

Jarn, Ant Flo, all about period.

5:59

Uh, Bert is Fat. Death

6:03

of a Salesman. Tail, Tim Dillon's first one. Uh,

6:05

Tales of a Teenage Better writer with Mark Norman.

6:07

Caveman from Thailand. Cleavage

6:09

Day.

6:10

Jezwetun Bade. From

6:13

Cambodia. Vagabonda with Rolf Potts.

6:15

Whew. Take

6:18

My Wife Please about open relationships. Let My People

6:20

Go. Mitzi. All

6:23

of me dealing with it from Sydney, from all over

6:25

Australia with my loss of my mentor and... and

6:27

mother in comedy. Hot Tub Time

6:29

Machine. I mean, guys, these are great. Modern

6:32

Hippie with Tim Ferriss. Spange with a homeless non-binary

6:35

person. Uh,

6:36

on the streets of L.A. The Revolution

6:38

with Kelly Lassen. Podfather with Red Band. Troll,

6:41

one of the greatest ones with Milo Yiannopoulos. E-Rage

6:44

with Shane and Renazese and Corrine. War

6:46

Stories, whew, with a war reporter. Jake

6:49

Hanrahan, just got hit with the stomach with a rubber

6:51

bullet in the France riots. Obsessive, compulsive.

6:54

Lady with a Giant Hog. Baby skeletons.

6:56

Six months of hating men and guys.

7:01

And now this. The Ron Bennington interview

7:03

about interviews. That's right,

7:05

I had him on just to talk about how to get

7:08

an interview, what goes into one. He's the best. And

7:10

this podcast was all about the interview.

7:14

I didn't want to do a podcast that was just

7:16

shooting the shit. Now I think that is

7:18

the way to go. I call them morning zoos. They're an

7:20

elevated version of that, but I think that is

7:23

the way to go now. There's so much available. It's kind of

7:25

like when comedy specials used to have this big

7:27

sketch at the beginning. That was great when there was four specials

7:29

a year. Make it a grand thing. Now there's so

7:31

much. It's like, just get to it. Just get to the jokes. Let's

7:34

go. I got no time for this.

7:36

And these long form interviews had a time and place. I

7:38

think that time and place is over. But I had such

7:40

a fucking blast. I had such a fucking blast talking

7:43

to people, doing weird life shit

7:45

that I really wanted to know about.

7:47

And that's why I copied Ron.

7:49

That's why I copied his style. That's

7:51

why he really got through to me. I talked to him,

7:53

sat down at his studio,

7:56

on video, that's right, at

7:58

a radio studio. I'm

8:01

not going to do it. It all changed everything. YouTube did

8:04

change a lot of **** The algorithm pushes for the short clip.

8:07

It's all great now. It is a great time to do podcasts

8:09

but

8:10

this podcast

8:13

was made for

8:14

the DIY outsider

8:17

kind of low-fi environment

8:19

and that time is come and gone. So, we're

8:21

putting it to rest. I'll tell

8:24

you I'm happy about it. As soon as I made

8:26

a decision, I'm happy about it. Um I

8:28

won't be gone I'll be back. I'll

8:30

be on other people's podcast. By the way, if you want me on your podcast

8:33

after one month's time, I'm not going to be recorded

8:35

for one month. I don't want to be on camera.

8:39

I'll do your podcast but it's going to

8:41

have to be on the old terms. I

8:44

come over, we do your **** and then let's

8:46

get a drink. Yeah, this **** use

8:49

everybody for business.

8:51

Nah, that's that's kind of done in my mind.

8:53

You gotta give me a real reason why we can't hang

8:55

out a little bit. At least smoke a J. Walk

8:57

around the block. Be friends. Aren't we all friends?

9:00

It can't be all about work and it's become that

9:02

and I'm not interested anymore but if you want to hang

9:04

out, have a good time, I'm your man

9:06

and I'll loan you some name that I have. Um

9:10

I'll also be doing live stand-up comedy which is what I love

9:12

doing the most and I'll pour all my heart and soul into

9:14

that. If you want to come see me, uh

9:16

Austin is sold out uh next

9:19

week or the week after the

9:20

comedy mothership club that

9:22

I paid for and bought myself. I built

9:24

it for comedians. Come whenever you want

9:27

and perform at the club that I built. I

9:29

put my friend uh

9:31

Joseph uh Rogaine as the

9:34

uh person in charge and he uh uh uh uh uh

9:36

uh uh uh uh what did they call him? Not

9:39

a creditor. A

9:40

guarantor. I didn't have quite enough

9:43

money for the uh banks to trust

9:45

me. So, I had Joe take some of his Spotify

9:47

money and put it towards this club

9:49

that I built myself.

9:51

Um and it's doing well. I'll pay him back in no

9:53

time. Um anyway, that's sold

9:55

out. That was a rant. Um uh

9:57

aside that probably the last one that went nowhere.

9:59

on this podcast. Uh, if you want

10:02

to see me do the live stand of comedy for an hour

10:04

or more, it starts in October at parks,

10:06

casino, outside Philadelphia. Then in November, we go

10:08

to Omaha single nights in Omaha,

10:11

Madison, Minneapolis, Chicago,

10:13

Iowa city. First

10:15

time playing Iowa. Um, this

10:18

Springfield Tulsa

10:21

second show added,

10:23

um, St.

10:25

Louis, Kansas city, Indianapolis,

10:29

Fort Wayne, Boston, second

10:31

show added at the Wilbur in February,

10:33

hurry up and get tickets. And

10:37

then another casino

10:39

in Connecticut, Foxwoods, tons

10:42

more dates are going to be added. It's the wrong side

10:44

of history tour. And it's a, it's

10:46

fun. It's a theme, but it ain't, it

10:48

ain't so in your face like Jew and

10:50

it's, it's, it's a blast. I wouldn't

10:53

charge you guys if it's not ready for

10:55

consumption and it is also I'm saving 50 tickets

10:58

for every show at $50 a piece. Um,

11:01

so you want to, soon as the announcements come out, you want

11:03

to follow me, soon as the announcement comes out, you want to

11:05

fucking get those tickets. If you deport, if you want rich

11:07

and you want to sit up front, cut those. Let's get to this

11:10

though. The DNO episodes, the Danish and on the elbows at

11:12

episode 100. I had them in, you know, with

11:14

this episode, this podcast, this is the theme. Every, every

11:16

episode is a, is a new, um,

11:20

every

11:24

episode we cover a new topic and

11:27

we cover it well. I go talk to a guest

11:30

radio Ron style about

11:31

something they have some level of expertise

11:33

or experience with. And Danish and

11:35

O'Neill came in and they told him that their job, uh, delivering

11:38

groceries at Yummy, yummy.com.

11:39

And, uh, I thought

11:41

from then on, I'm like, Oh, you guys got to come

11:43

back. It was so dark. I remember talking to some Canadian

11:45

people in a Myanmar,

11:47

a temple city in Myanmar and they

11:49

were like, Oh, you're a comedian. Yeah. I'm like, Oh, should I listen? What's episodes

11:52

I listened to? I'm like, well, I mean, start

11:54

with a DNO episode. I told everybody start

11:56

with episode 100 deliverance,

11:59

go on to some I had a couple of other

12:01

ones. They fell off. I moved. I couldn't

12:03

get them on the last at number 500 but every 50

12:06

episodes, I had them in.

12:08

And this

12:10

nice young Canadian on their

12:12

gap year, 18 years old, maybe 19,

12:14

came back two days later trying to download

12:16

it on a

12:19

Burmese Wi-Fi. It's not that great. Probably three megapixels

12:23

an hour. Megabytes. And

12:26

and she goes, uh, it wasn't

12:28

for me. Like, what? She goes, you're talking about fucking

12:30

retards right out of the gate. No,

12:32

thanks. It

12:35

was perfect. It was the perfect encapsulation

12:37

of what this podcast

12:39

was, I guess, not is.

12:41

Dark, degenerate, edgy, and

12:45

cover a topic all about delivering

12:47

groceries. It was fun. That's what this is. You

12:50

can't take it too seriously. That's what I say.

12:52

Uh, and I went in with Ron.

12:54

We did take it too seriously sometimes, not just with

12:56

Ron but with lots of podcasts. I let it get serious.

13:00

I also try to keep it funny. It was best I could. Uh,

13:03

I'm gonna be sad, you guys. I'm gonna be sad

13:06

for this chapter passing in my life but, um,

13:08

you know, I'll deal with other things.

13:11

I'll have more stuff in my life to talk about

13:13

and uh, like I said, maybe I'll start another

13:15

podcast.

13:17

Um, I have plenty of ideas. I

13:19

could start one with uh, about

13:21

album

13:21

commentary breakdowns. Maybe I'll

13:24

do that once every few months.

13:26

No rush. Um, who knows?

13:28

And like I said, I have fun in

13:30

other people's podcasts. I just,

13:33

I'll tell you, it became a job. 12 and

13:35

a half years. It's the same thing.

13:37

It became kind of a job. And I

13:39

don't want a job. I'm

13:42

a stand-up comic. I felt it. It happened during

13:44

COVID where I was like, oh fuck, I need money. I might

13:48

never do this again. Stand-up comedy, you

13:50

know. For a second, we're all like, this might be over. So, how

13:53

do I scrounge up money? And then we

13:56

did. You

13:57

know, the ads came and kept coming. They're doing

13:59

better than ever.

13:59

I don't think my family understands why I want to quit now.

14:04

I don't want a job. I love my freedom more than

14:06

almost anything in the world. So

14:10

I'm going to go be free. But you

14:12

guys are in good hands. Podcasting

14:13

is in a way better place

14:15

now than it was. It was outlawed back then and

14:17

it was wild. It was kind of like early punk rock. And now it's more like

14:20

post-punk, you know, Susie Sue and the Banshees. And

14:24

I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm

14:26

going to be able to do that. Susie Sue and the Banshees.

14:31

No way. And

14:34

it's great. There's so many good podcasts

14:36

to listen to. Funny ones,

14:39

really funny ones and deep ones. And there's

14:41

just so many to choose from. I don't even

14:44

get into it.

14:45

But like, you know, you know all your favorites, whatever you

14:47

like. You like all these comics have great ones

14:49

now. So many comics. If you get bored

14:51

with one, find another comic as a

14:54

guest and go follow their podcast. Everybody's got one

14:56

except Ari Shafir. When

14:58

I find something that will interest me again, I'll probably

15:01

go back to it. But I'll do it on my own terms

15:03

and won't be so rushed. And

15:06

anyway, this one had a good run.

15:09

No sense of like changing it

15:11

or trying to force it. The

15:14

party's over and I don't want to outstay my welcome. I don't

15:16

want to be the last one of the party. My

15:20

prediction is there about you're

15:22

about to see a lot of people drop out. Start

15:24

with Dan Soder.

15:27

It's going to be infectious. The idea of freedom. They're

15:30

going to see what we do. The people

15:32

are going to see which I like. Oh wait, so you just don't have to come back. You don't

15:34

have to work. You can just go drinking

15:36

on Tuesday. Oh, like we used to. It's going to

15:38

happen. That's my prediction. I'm hoping it doesn't because

15:41

these podcasts are a great way for

15:43

comics to get ahead. But

15:46

my prediction is you're going to see that anyway. That's

15:48

not today. Today is all about radio

15:50

run and the interview itself. Check

15:53

out Ron Bennington on the Ron Bennington

15:55

show. Nay, Ron and Fez. I'm

16:00

a fan of every day on Sirius

16:02

XM. Uh he's

16:06

one of the

16:07

best one of the funnest shows to do and

16:09

and man his unmasked

16:11

you guys just really want to listen to it. My unmasked

16:16

happened shortly after I mean

16:18

yeah, I guess I was blackmailed

16:21

out of doing this is not happening. I'll tell you

16:23

what happened just briefly. They they

16:25

they said they they were I I was already same thing.

16:29

They were like, well, they want you to not see the world and

16:31

you want to see the world. What are we even

16:33

talking about? Duncan's

16:35

free. I envy him. I look up to that

16:37

guy. Um I was like, you're right. And so they said,

16:40

hey, how about we do 20 episodes all at once? That's two

16:42

seasons. We'll just get them all at once. Do all your editing

16:44

now and then you can really be free and I was like, okay.

16:47

And then when I saw my special economy Central said, well,

16:49

hey, we're going to cut you down to ten. We're legally

16:51

obligated to ten. We'll cut you down to ten. Uh

16:55

every employee you have is

16:57

going to be out of work

16:59

with two weeks left to

17:01

go. Good luck having them pay

17:03

their rent. That's what they said. I was like, damn, well, I was like,

17:06

maybe

17:07

I'll just pay them. I'll just get the money. I'll borrow the money.

17:09

I'll use all my money I'm making.

17:11

I'll pay them. I'll see who else could work for free.

17:14

Um

17:14

and they they drove me out.

17:17

They weren't having it. Um so,

17:21

you know, they're like, you could leave. You could let someone

17:23

else host and uh and

17:26

um they're doing a lot of people's jobs.

17:28

So, that's what we did. Uh uh uh uh uh

17:30

uh uh uh uh uh Roy Wood Jr stepped in. Um took

17:34

a lot of **** heat stepped in and **** took

17:36

it over for me. Why did I bring that

17:38

up? Why did I bring up? This is not happening.

17:41

When I left this now, oh

17:44

yeah. I went to see the world.

17:47

It was free. Something with freedom, right? I

17:53

don't know. You

17:56

think I would get better at this after 12

17:58

and a half years? You think I'd get about keeping my

18:00

train of thought. I mean, I know

18:02

you could just rewind and listen to it. What

18:08

the fuck was I talking about? Doing

18:14

another podcast? I don't know, no,

18:16

nothing, being free. Anyway,

18:23

God damn it, Ari. Fucking last podcast

18:26

you've ever done, last intro you've ever done, and

18:28

you gotta do this shit. You gotta pull this shit.

18:31

Anyway, it'll be good. It'll

18:34

be good to have a summer break, and it'll be good, and

18:36

you guys, thank you very much for tuning in over the years.

18:40

It's been fun, it's been fun listening to you guys

18:42

saying you'd like the episodes. It's been fun having

18:44

you reach out to the guests. Don't forget to

18:46

do it for this one too. I'd say we really liked you

18:48

on Ari Shafir's Skeptic Tank. You

18:51

were really great, and they felt really good

18:53

by it.

18:54

They felt really warm, but you enjoyed

18:56

it.

18:56

You guys are a cool fan base. I've

18:58

been lucky with the fan base.

19:00

I really have. A lot of comics get

19:02

shitty fans. Mine are

19:05

into standup comedy and just kinda nice.

19:10

Yeah.

19:16

Overstay the party. Damn it, it's gone.

19:18

It is gone. So

19:21

anyway, yeah, follow me to the next thing. I'm sure there'll

19:23

be something. I'm not leaving forever. I'm not leaving

19:26

life. I'm just ending this

19:28

podcast, and it's okay.

19:31

So I'll see you on

19:33

someone else's. Guys, I have a great

19:35

time. If there's anything this podcast has

19:37

taught you, it's that the life experience

19:40

of everyone in the world is amazing.

19:43

People have done crazy cool things.

19:45

Talk to them. Talk to them and find

19:47

out the questions you want answers to. You

19:49

see somebody at a fucking airport

19:53

with a bag, a backpack with fucking yoga

19:55

mat and all this shit strapped up. Ask them, hey,

19:57

where have you been?

19:58

Where'd you go? Tell me a cool place you

20:01

went. I mean, they'll stink, they'll probably

20:03

smell, but there's people

20:05

out there with fun stories and

20:09

I'm not gonna be there bringing it to you, but you

20:11

can find them yourself. Anyway,

20:14

it's

20:16

kinda sad to go. This has been a part of

20:18

my life for over half of my comedy career.

20:20

So it will be sad, but

20:24

also be quite happy.

20:26

I'm excited. So

20:30

let's start. It's

20:32

all about the interview. You can hear my, oh, that's it.

20:35

Yes, yes! Fuck

20:41

yeah!

20:46

That's what I'm talking about. You can hear my unmask

20:48

that he did from Skank Fest shortly

20:51

after I got blackmailed out of doing This Is Not

20:53

Happening.

20:54

Fuck yeah! That's

20:57

what I'm talking about! Final

21:02

one, this Jeter hitting the home run in his final at bat.

21:04

This is that, this is that.

21:09

I found my train of thought right at

21:11

the end, episode 519. Wait,

21:15

oh yeah. He

21:17

interviewed me for unmask right after I

21:20

lost This Is Not Happening. And it

21:23

was a good one. It was a good interview. He

21:25

got to it. He talked to me in a way that no one

21:27

really had. So if you want to listen

21:29

to unmask, the Patrice one, the

21:32

Norton one is the first one I heard. And

21:34

you maybe start with mine. But there's a

21:36

whole series of them you can find. It'll be a link to it. But

21:40

let's start.

21:41

Shit, fuck, 22 minutes. Well, whatever

21:43

guys, no ad. Today's episode of

21:45

Ari Shafir's Ska-Fantank is brought to you by you,

21:48

the listeners over the last 12 and

21:50

a half years. And then the watchers.

21:52

Started with the listeners, became the watchers.

21:55

That probably did a huge disservice for stand-up

21:58

comedy podcasts in general. the

22:00

video aspect, but nonetheless

22:03

This episode is brought to you by you you

22:05

guys is a niceness,

22:07

it's not a word you passing

22:10

along and just like Joining

22:12

in saying you like this saying you enjoy the episode

22:14

it got me going this whole time keeping me alive on patreon

22:17

for a while Well, you know during one

22:19

of my many cancellations over and over

22:21

again. Oh shit I'm losing money and you guys were there

22:23

with patreon. That's done now

22:25

Um It's you The

22:28

listeners have already severe skeptic thing about it. I never

22:30

named you they always you gotta name your fans name

22:32

the skeptics No, thanks that fucking

22:35

sucks. That's the gayest thing I've ever heard you

22:38

guys are all doing that

22:39

Nah, bro No

22:45

Yeah, so thank you for sponsoring today's episode

22:48

Um That's

22:50

it so me and Ron talk about

22:52

the interview itself. It's full circle

22:54

on this motherfucker Ladies and

22:56

gentlemen, Ari Shafir's skeptic tank episode 519

23:00

the final Ari Shafir's

23:02

skeptic tank podcast talk

23:05

talk with Ron Bennington

23:17

I I

23:58

Think I think the

24:01

idea by the way, is this the show sure Think

24:05

the idea is the excitement for

24:07

the audience the cloud the clap sign Yeah,

24:10

the clap sign the excitement the

24:13

the weird thing about a TV Thing

24:17

cuz 30 Rock is right across the street No,

24:20

if you go there you end up just watching the

24:22

TV and not the stage

24:25

dude. I do that on skanks Yeah, I

24:27

keep looking at how I'm looking Like

24:29

it's like get it out. I need blinders or something. I

24:32

should be looking at Lewis Yeah,

24:34

you know well, maybe not that's probably a bad example But

24:38

also I want to say this cuz I haven't seen you in

24:40

a while. The special was great Oh,

24:42

thanks And I remember seeing you put together

24:44

pieces of that and the cool

24:47

thing about it is that I think that you're doing The

24:50

very few people are doing is like you you

24:52

have something of substance to come in with

24:55

You know what I mean? Like here's

24:57

this ancient text, you

24:59

know what I mean? Yeah, and I'm gonna tell you what I

25:01

think of it see what you think of it

25:03

where most people were talking about

25:06

Nothing, right, you know like almost

25:08

looking for something to talk about right exactly

25:11

like my kid did this this week Yeah,

25:14

he shit in his hand Who's

25:18

used to be like dark and shit? Like I

25:21

saw him downstairs at the cellular city you started off with so

25:24

my son's at this age Where he did and I just like

25:26

went upstairs. I'm like, I don't care about

25:28

your son Yeah, it feels

25:31

like everything When you

25:33

have a kid, but the same way

25:35

with death like I remember

25:36

this I was in a Hospital,

25:40

right Yeah, I

25:42

mean I guess I'm dying with this thing, you know, I mean

25:44

I've I'm talking

25:46

about life and death heaven and

25:49

hell I When

25:54

a person died and it was like the heaviest

25:56

thing and it was up on the Upper

25:59

East Side And then when I went walking

26:01

out of there, I just saw tons of people

26:03

who didn't give a fuck, who didn't know.

26:06

And it was this

26:07

unbelievably nothing

26:09

could be bigger moment. And

26:11

then I just walk into regular people. You

26:14

know? You ever see somebody crying in the subway

26:16

or outside and you're just like,

26:19

what happened to your life? And you're right, no one else

26:21

cared. They just look at you like. The only

26:23

way I would stop

26:25

is if she was fuckable. And then I'd be

26:27

like, I'm here for you. Obviously,

26:29

you gotta try to fuck. Isn't that the funniest

26:32

thing about someone in the worst possible

26:37

thing? And there is

26:39

a I was in a meeting once, right? And

26:45

this everyone just talking about

26:48

their fucking addiction

26:50

problems and everything. And then

26:52

this no

26:54

one's paying it. It was like an early morning

26:56

thing. Everyone's heads fucking. And then

26:58

this fucking crazy chick just

27:01

starts to talk about how she couldn't

27:03

fuck it and her boyfriend and

27:06

all the fucking guys lean in, right?

27:08

They just fucking adjust.

27:11

And it's like there was a gay guy who

27:15

was running the fucking

27:18

meeting. And he was the only

27:20

one. All right, guys. But I'll back it up a

27:22

little bit. She's going through some. He actually

27:25

said. She finishes and

27:27

he goes, OK, everybody, you know

27:29

that thing that you're feeling right now?

27:31

That's your addiction. That's your

27:34

being an addict for fucking

27:37

chaos. And it was like so

27:39

fucking embarrassing. I was about

27:41

to get a call down on it. You're like, can you just tell

27:43

me in quiet? Just privately like, hey, I saw

27:45

what you did. There were

27:46

still guys who walked up after and was

27:48

like, hey, here's my number if you need anything.

27:51

You know what they call it? Soft boy. It's

27:54

when you don't just go right out and go and

27:56

try to like pretend like it's about something

27:58

else. Yeah.

27:59

Like, we're gonna do a writing session? Yeah, but you wanna

28:02

write for a while. And then there are the

28:04

guys who after three years

28:06

just start screaming at her, you've

28:08

been fucking leading me on! They're

28:10

like, what? She'd be like, what do you mean we were writing

28:13

partners? Yeah. What, you said

28:15

you wanted to help me through this tough time. I

28:17

don't give a shit about you.

28:19

That's the beauty of

28:21

now when, the only thing that

28:23

I really like about social media

28:26

is to see how wrong everyone

28:29

is. No one is fucking writing anymore.

28:31

Oh yeah. You know? What do you mean

28:33

specifically? Like, anyone who's like, hey, did

28:36

you see this thing in the news and they're furious

28:39

and I'm shooting my Budweiser

28:40

or I'm tearing

28:43

up this. Tell them about what's terrible. Everybody's wrong. Yeah.

28:46

Yeah. Yeah, I would say that I was driving along and we

28:48

saw these like old wooden, might even be

28:50

like Montauk or something, these old wooden posts for

28:52

the, and I'm like, oh, that must be cool. Or like, why

28:54

don't they get metal ones? You can just hear social media going,

28:56

you know it's hard work doing that. Take jobs

28:59

out of you and it's like, all right, dude. Nobody

29:01

just wakes up chill

29:03

anymore. And everybody thinks like

29:06

their thing is the thing, you know? And

29:09

with comics,

29:11

our thing is always lying in with

29:14

First Amendment, First Amendment.

29:16

And it's never the fucking government. You know what

29:18

I mean? I used to work in terrestrial when it

29:20

was the FCC. And you could say First

29:23

Amendment.

29:23

FCC hasn't done anything in

29:25

like 30 fucking years because they don't need to. And

29:27

that's Janet Jackson. Because the way we do it ourselves, the

29:30

sponsors do it. Yeah. Dude,

29:32

I remember talking to somebody and

29:34

going, and you must have gone through this over the years, where

29:36

it was, don't curse,

29:38

now it's don't take certain political stances. But

29:40

it's the same fucking thing. It's just fall in

29:42

line. The beauty of when I

29:45

started, you know, which was

29:47

like kind of labeled shock-chock

29:49

back then, but you could just

29:52

barely cross the line and people would be like, oh fuck,

29:54

this is great. You know, and you were

29:57

just like, oh man, let's try to get her to take

29:59

her top off.

29:59

You're on the fucking radio radio, too. Yeah Yeah,

30:04

all that kind of shit was you know the girl would

30:07

be like the you know, she could

30:09

give half of his shit she's fucking dancing

30:11

somewhere, but

30:12

everybody I remember a Fucking

30:16

girl on the show we pierced her tongue

30:19

and it made the fucking newspaper

30:22

Tongue piercing because I'm looking

30:24

back.

30:24

Yeah, and it's you know, I mean it's 25

30:27

30 years ago, but that's still one

30:30

generation of going from that

30:33

To this or just saying the word these

30:36

lesbians are kissing and then

30:38

I could go home You know, I mean I

30:40

had a big fucking house my kids are going

30:42

to private school. It was fucking

30:44

great That's why

30:46

I always tell people if you're going,

30:48

you know If you have kids put

30:50

them in a fucking Catholic school Where

30:53

all you're gonna do is wear your hair a little bit over

30:55

your ears and that's the rebel and

30:57

then you know You send them to public school. They

31:00

got to come in with a gun Gotta

31:02

be heroin or yeah, yeah, and you gotta use

31:04

it. Yeah comes in with a gun. Yeah,

31:06

we'll be shot Here's

31:11

what I talked to you about yeah the interview

31:13

process in general, it's good me fucking

31:15

up with that phone Say

31:18

that I'm not nearly as good at you at this How

31:20

did you get into interviews

31:21

in general because you have a specific

31:24

style with it that I haven't seen

31:26

much Well, I'm

31:28

a bit interested in what you think

31:30

my stylist So I heard I was

31:32

down I was in the illegal download phase of

31:35

my life and I saw what I thought was

31:37

a Jim Norton Album

31:38

and it was unmasked. I thought that was just the title

31:40

of it and man It was such a

31:43

it was the questions seemed

31:45

derived from a genuine interest

31:48

Right that of how here's what here's

31:50

what I'm supposed to bring up because the people want to know. Yeah

31:53

How did you develop that? Oh,

31:57

it's really weird so I can't even say whether

32:00

I developed or not, but I get

32:02

this call. Do

32:05

you want to have a Sydney Pollock on your

32:07

show who was a director? Right. So

32:09

I'm like, oh, that'd be fucking unbelievable.

32:11

What a what a career.

32:14

And he had. Just

32:18

done a documentary on

32:21

an architect. I'm trying to think of it as a famous

32:24

architect. Chris is going to look it up for me. And

32:27

so I'm like, OK, cool.

32:28

And then I looked at his amount of work. Sydney

32:31

Pollock is the type of director

32:33

that is that you don't see him as a director.

32:36

You know, it's like not like Tarantino when you

32:38

have a thing. It's more like Ron Howard, where

32:40

one one movie is here, one is the other. It's right.

32:42

Yeah. So I'm like,

32:45

yeah, Frank Gehry, Frank Gehry,

32:47

the architect. So

32:49

I'm like, I can't fucking

32:51

interview this guy. I don't have any skills. I don't know

32:53

what I'm doing. And at the last minute,

32:56

you know what I mean? Of all this enormous

32:58

career, I go, I'll just talk to him

33:00

about the documentary and nothing else, you

33:02

know, I won't bring up Robert Redford

33:05

or Barbara Streisand or anything.

33:08

And apparently that had never happened in his

33:10

life. Because he wants to talk about everywhere else, about other

33:12

shows. He's been obsessed with

33:14

Frank Gehry for like a year. And

33:17

everyone's like, you know, when you did this,

33:19

when you did that. So I'm like,

33:22

oh, this is so I just talked to him and

33:24

he got fucking turned on. And, you

33:26

know, it went was just really a locked

33:30

in situation. Right. And

33:34

later his guy came back and

33:36

said, I want Cindy Parlick wanted me to

33:38

tell you as the best interview he's ever part

33:40

of. He just went away and it, you know,

33:44

and it was just about being

33:46

that thing of, OK,

33:50

let's find out what you're thinking about now. You

33:53

know, I'm not going to ask you about your fucking kids

33:55

or what you how you met your wife.

33:58

A lot of people interview.

34:01

And a lot of people that are considered good interviewers,

34:04

they go back and

34:06

find out great stories that

34:08

the people have told before and

34:10

set them up again. Just to repeat. Just

34:13

as

34:13

in, hey, I know you have a story about

34:15

meeting Frank Sinatra. Yeah. You

34:17

know what I mean? And I mean people who are on fucking television. You

34:20

know what I mean? That are journalists

34:22

that do this, that wanna get to that thing. And

34:25

like, imagine that happens to you and you have to

34:27

tell the Frank Sinatra story. I

34:29

was with Rogan on the road when all

34:31

that Carlos Mencia stuff happened. And there

34:33

were interviews people wanted to know about it. It was a huge star

34:36

and a big star. And then they wanted to know about it. And

34:38

he was in the moment for a few interviews

34:41

and then it just became a routine. Right. And

34:44

it's terrible. And it was like, ugh. It's fucking terrible.

34:46

By the way, first person on mass,

34:49

Carlos Mencia. No way. Swear

34:51

to God. So it was Carlos Mencia.

34:53

Interesting.

34:54

And then, so they

34:56

asked me, it wasn't even my idea to do on mass. I

34:59

had done some interviews and

35:01

they had asked me to do it because

35:05

they, this was just when it was XM. It

35:07

wasn't serious XM.

35:09

So I said, yeah, I'll do it. So. Separate

35:11

from the show. Separate from the show. And so

35:13

I get a call the night

35:16

before by somebody

35:19

they said, Carlos

35:22

Mencia wants to talk to you. I go,

35:25

yeah, I'm going to talk to you. You know?

35:27

Tomorrow. And so

35:31

I

35:32

go, yeah, sure. Give him my number. And

35:35

he calls and he's like, hey man, you know, I

35:37

don't know the guy and I'm going to be totally honest.

35:39

I didn't even know his work at the time.

35:43

And I

35:43

knew that he

35:45

and Rogan had some heat,

35:49

but this is before Rogan was Rogan. I know him

35:52

from, you know, his work, but he

35:54

wasn't this broken now, you know? So

35:57

I'm like, and then I noticed.

36:00

that he's waiting for me to say it. So

36:02

I'm just kind of being a dick and not, you

36:05

know what I mean? Because I don't want, I'm

36:08

literally going, I don't even know if I'm gonna do

36:10

this show. But now I'm kind of interested

36:12

that he's doing it. So finally,

36:15

like after just like 15, 20 minutes of

36:17

small talk, he's like, look, if

36:19

you wanna ask me about this stuff, I mean, nobody

36:21

can stop you. But you know,

36:24

I go, it wasn't my plan at

36:26

all, you know? But he was, I

36:28

guess, fucking worried about it. And

36:31

then I did an interview with him, and

36:34

I'm like, I don't even wanna, I'm

36:37

not even sure this is something I wanna do. I

36:39

can see that he's tense and shit. But

36:41

the next day, they had added somebody

36:43

at the bottom because

36:46

we had had the comics comedy

36:48

club, right? So they paid them to use

36:51

it in the afternoon, and they had TV,

36:53

and at the last minute, I get a call from Eric

36:55

Logan. He goes, will you do Patrice

36:57

O'Neil?

36:58

And I'm like, the guy who does so and I, like

37:00

I didn't really know him. You know what I mean?

37:03

And Patrice came on next, and

37:06

it was supposed to be like a week later

37:08

in terms of listening. So they were

37:10

like, hey man, don't

37:11

bring up Carlos. What you just saw? Yeah, and

37:15

it didn't matter, he would just bring shit up.

37:17

And it was so

37:18

funny, and it was so fucking

37:20

fascinating. And to

37:23

this day, it's the number one

37:25

thing people ask me. The Patrice interview.

37:27

Yeah, the Patrice interview, because he

37:29

was so fucking

37:32

raw. He's so raw, he was so real.

37:34

Yeah, he was ridiculously

37:37

real, and I always thought

37:39

the funny thing about him is

37:41

he was almost like coming

37:43

from another planet, like not understanding

37:46

our ways, you know what I mean? Like

37:48

to me, one of my favorite thing, I

37:50

think he did Jimmy Fallon

37:52

before it was even the Tonight Show, and

37:55

he came out and he started

37:57

talking to the band. Then he

37:59

talked to the guy. in front row and like

38:01

you see Jimmy trying to get it. I go, who fucking

38:04

does that? You know what I mean? Who doesn't

38:06

talk to the guy at the desk?

38:08

That reminded me when he was doing that, he was like

38:10

Fox News or something like that and that lady was outraged

38:12

and he was like, yo, you can hear snickering from

38:14

Stanley's seat. He was like, shut up, she's outraged.

38:17

Stop you guys. They're just like yelling at

38:19

someone off camera. Yeah, that was

38:22

also, he had just done

38:24

that and it was like weirdly,

38:26

you know, I mean we didn't even have

38:28

cancel culture and he did that for O

38:30

and A and they were almost out

38:33

then

38:34

from fucking, yeah, from satellite

38:37

radio, not even regular radio. I

38:39

don't know what had happened but I

38:41

know they had been suspended. It was before sex.

38:44

It was after churches. It was after sex

38:46

for Stanley, yeah. It was that homeless guy talking about how he wants to

38:49

have, make people love him. Yeah.

38:52

It was so many different things. Yeah, so. And

38:55

it was never the things you were like, they're gonna get you for this one and

38:57

they're like, no, not even a little bit of trouble for that. That's

38:59

crazy. Yeah. I

39:01

remember when the sex

39:04

for Sam thing

39:04

happened, I was working at NEW

39:07

with those guys, right?

39:08

And you know, it was just local

39:11

New York. I mean, this fucking station

39:13

was a pirate ship. I mean, it was insane.

39:16

NEW? Yeah, NEW was insane.

39:18

It should be a book, you know what I mean? And

39:22

you know, everybody had done like the shock

39:24

rock radio stuff but I

39:27

mean, I would show up for my shift

39:29

and I'm like, this place stinks of pussy. You

39:31

know what I mean? Like really

39:34

bad pussy in here. I

39:36

know

39:37

one day we went and just did it from the

39:39

hall. We're like, we can't be in that room. Yeah,

39:42

yeah. I think it was the whiff of ball bat

39:44

challenge. Oh, oh. I

39:46

mean, everybody wants to just copy the same stuff. Yeah,

39:48

it's the same shit over and over. That's the

39:51

beauty about fucking radio. Before people

39:54

started podcasting,

39:56

you could just make a,

39:57

it was almost like vaudeville when you'd.

40:00

find out a guy could have a 20 minute

40:02

act for 50 years. You know what I mean?

40:05

You could do anything 50 miles

40:07

away from the other fucking

40:10

station. It just didn't count. There

40:13

was no fucking honor in that

40:15

game whatsoever. But so

40:18

everything was coming down where it was on every

40:20

fucking

40:21

radio, every

40:24

TV show, all the fucking

40:26

newspapers. And I go

40:29

in

40:29

watching fucking TV with Opie

40:32

and he's just like rocking back and forth looking

40:34

at it. And he goes, dude, if we

40:36

get away with this, we're untouchable. We're

40:39

untouchable. They don't take us down here. And

40:42

he wasn't untouchable. Yeah. Fuck.

40:45

He's like right on the edge. Yeah, it was right

40:47

there. But it would have been something else. I

40:49

mean, it would have been something

40:52

else. He's just being on the radar. Yeah. Are

40:54

there guys that you sort

40:57

of saw as great interviewers? Because there's

40:59

a difference between

41:02

the Ron Bennington show or Ron and Fez before

41:04

and Unmasked. Yeah. And

41:06

one guy has kind of done both. Stern and

41:08

his prime would have a section

41:10

where he's like, I'm interviewing somebody now.

41:13

And he would get to different things. And then it was like, get

41:16

to Sydney in a way. We're going to talk for a while.

41:19

Do you consider what medium

41:21

you're on as you're like?

41:23

No. I don't. I

41:25

mean, as far as like knowing

41:27

people who did interviews before, it probably

41:30

would have been the written word more

41:33

than anything. But

41:35

you know, from doing your podcast, that

41:38

people will say things in this

41:41

thing that we'd never say at lunch. You

41:43

know what I mean? If you went out to lunch,

41:45

you couldn't ask these questions. Yeah.

41:48

And

41:49

it's fucking amazing

41:52

to me that people

41:54

don't know how to allow

41:57

that to happen. You know what I mean? The

41:59

people will say. Your dad

42:01

died when you were 13. You know what I mean? You're

42:03

like, this is a really fucking

42:05

heavy thing where you would never say that

42:07

to somebody. In a million years, no. You were divorced

42:09

three times. And they do

42:11

it, you know,

42:13

all the time. But

42:17

here's like if I have like even

42:20

the slightest theory about

42:22

interviewing, I honestly

42:24

feel like sex is

42:26

the best thing

42:28

because it's very intimate, right? And

42:31

what you're trying to do is turn

42:34

the other person on, right? Instead

42:37

of like reading a book about how

42:39

to fuck a woman, you discover

42:42

this woman. Does this make her,

42:44

does this, does she like dirty talk, does she

42:46

not like dirty talk, you know? And

42:48

you find that key. But

42:51

most of the time, people are just like a gotcha

42:53

moment that can leave this and

42:56

become something else. And to me, no

42:58

one ever says someone's good in bed because they

43:01

come so fast or they have the biggest

43:03

orgasms themselves. You want to make the other person. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

43:06

You want to get the other person off

43:07

and have them heard and felt. Yeah,

43:11

there's something when you're interviewing somebody and

43:13

like you said, like they open up. Yeah. And

43:16

then they get into whatever. I saw

43:18

one, it was some British show,

43:20

whatever, they had Mila Kunis in promoting

43:22

a movie. And they let, it was some

43:24

radio show, they let the intern

43:26

interview her. He won a contest, he was a big Mila Kunis

43:28

fan and he won a contest and they were like, here's who you're interviewing,

43:31

the lady you love. And he's like, what the fuck? So

43:33

he's so in the moment and he goes, did you

43:35

watch soccer? There's a big soccer game tomorrow. What

43:37

kind of beauty do you like? And they go, oh shoot, shoot, I'm doing this

43:39

wrong. Let me ask about the movie. And she was like, no, please don't.

43:42

Right. This, I, if you want, I was great

43:44

working with this director. She was, let's

43:47

get back to this. Blue Moon, I did Blue Moon. And it

43:50

was

43:50

such a, she was so, I don't know,

43:52

herself. Well, that's the thing. I mean,

43:54

like when you think of somebody like her, she's in

43:56

a bubble. Yeah. You know

43:58

what I mean? She's in a bubble with. she's

44:01

expected to be something. So

44:03

when she finds out that she's not

44:06

expected to be something, that's

44:10

the fucking thing. Look, it's the same

44:12

thing, I know you like music. Something

44:15

happens at some shows, right?

44:17

Where you're like, what the

44:20

fuck? You know what I mean? You're like

44:22

that. The people in the band

44:24

are fucking, they're looking, like

44:26

they can't fucking believe it. And then you're

44:28

all looking around and it

44:31

might come down, you know what I mean? It might not

44:33

stay there, but there's a moment where

44:35

you're like, we're all connected.

44:38

And it's either shirt

44:40

you're wearing. Pink Floyd. Pink

44:42

Floyd, specifically

44:45

wish you were here. Yeah. I'm a kid,

44:47

right? We're going to see

44:49

fucking Pink Floyd. The

44:52

wish you were here album, I hadn't come out yet. I

44:54

was like 75, something like

44:56

that, 74. We

44:59

cop ass it. We're fucking heading

45:01

there, right? We

45:04

all fucking do this asset, 20,000

45:07

people.

45:08

About probably 18,000 people were doing that.

45:12

You know what I mean? You

45:14

know, it was like that thing where people weren't

45:16

even like, should

45:18

we do asset? It's expected. I

45:21

never, I would never be in a situation

45:23

where somebody said, do you want to do this? And I wouldn't,

45:26

I would go yes. I do it. So

45:28

we do it, right? They

45:30

come out and start doing songs from wish we were

45:32

here.

45:34

Nobody's heard them. Never fucking heard them. I'm

45:36

fucking holding on to my

45:39

fucking thing. And I'm just, you

45:42

know

45:42

what I mean? I'm trying to fucking keep this thing locked

45:44

in.

45:45

I don't think they did the whole album. They

45:47

might've done like five or six songs or whatever. Lights

45:50

come back and they just walk

45:53

off. And we're like, what, what the fuck

45:55

was that? What just fucking happened?

45:57

Right? What just fucking happened? What

46:00

just happened to all of us did something? And

46:03

then the fucking lights come back down.

46:06

They do dark side of the moon all the way All

46:09

the way fucking through We're

46:12

fucking locked in again, right? Boom,

46:14

the lights come back in and we're all like was that the whole

46:17

fucking dark side of the moon up? Clapping

46:22

we were just staring at being in it. Yeah,

46:25

and then they came back out They did echoes

46:27

right from fucking home ago. We're just locked

46:30

in again It was over and it was just like there

46:32

was like a slow fucking clap that

46:34

had to build You know for people to go

46:36

I don't know where we were

46:38

the last fucking two hours the

46:41

next time I saw them was

46:44

Fucking during the animals fucking

46:46

album and people were doing the bump that

46:49

whole thing was lost because they were

46:51

the bump Yeah They were just bump girls

46:53

were bumping their asses back together Like

46:55

it was we were in a disco that whole

46:57

thing had the audience had not

47:00

fucking kept up

47:01

and then Eventually did the wall

47:04

about this thing of we got too big and I'm I

47:06

want to fucking stay away from you people That's what

47:08

the walls about. Yeah, about the wall

47:11

is like the wall in between

47:13

and

47:14

You in the audience,

47:17

you know you in the audience

47:19

and I've I've

47:22

done stuff where you're like again now We

47:25

get it got it with that mind. Yeah, but

47:28

Yeah, because when they did the wall shows

47:30

in America, they were building a wall

47:32

during the thing and it was against

47:35

you

47:35

know You're over there. We're

47:37

over here then they broke up as a fucking band

47:40

But nothing could take away whatever

47:43

the fuck happened that night and

47:45

I'm no smarter about it I

47:47

don't know if it was great art or

47:49

great asset or just the

47:52

night that all that stuff came together I had

47:55

to think about who's the guy who did that? Wow,

47:57

wow, what like the guitar kind of spoke Peter Frampton

47:59

Peter Frampton

47:59

If you're there at that show on acid,

48:02

you don't know this is about to happen. Right. He

48:04

must have hit you with that, and you just kind of like, turn to your

48:07

friend, like, did you hear

48:08

that? Yeah. Like, is

48:10

that... Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah,

48:13

wah, wah. This is like, is

48:15

that a real thing that is going on? All right,

48:17

so again, here's a weird thing. First

48:19

show I ever went to was Peter Frampton. No

48:21

way. As the opening act, there were Frampton's

48:23

Camel. And he did some

48:25

fucking songs that later became on that

48:27

album. He never got big. Um,

48:31

until that album came out. And that

48:34

album,

48:35

I don't know what the fuck happened. I guess

48:37

it was the summer of like, 76. And

48:40

it seemed like the album appeared in

48:42

every suburban house in America at

48:45

the same time. He was fucking

48:47

gigantic, right?

48:49

A year or so later, next album

48:51

comes out, nobody likes the guy. Nobody cares. Everybody's

48:53

like, fuck that dude. Frampton comes

48:56

alive was the biggest. Yeah, Frampton's comes alive

48:58

was it. Everybody was, you know what I mean? Like,

49:00

we're done with it. It was a little gimmick. It was a

49:02

fucking weird guitar. I was like, I

49:04

was part of the masses for some reason. But

49:06

a year and a half before, we're in

49:09

a fucking convertible smoking angel dust.

49:11

Dude, you, you. You

49:13

know what I mean? I'm fucking in a Dazely

49:15

Confused movie. Dude, I felt it was like, you

49:17

get certain drugs. Me and Renazisi

49:20

went to see The Dead

49:22

and Co. And some guy was like,

49:24

hey, take these collage

49:25

glasses, wear them for me. And I was like, OK.

49:28

And I never understood jam bands until I'm like, oh,

49:30

you're on mushrooms. You don't want a beat change. You

49:33

want the same beat for a while. And then I

49:35

finally got like, oh, 28 Minutes is the right

49:37

time for a song. Right fucking time. Yeah.

49:40

And then you come out of it. They switch songs

49:42

like, oh, hey, what are you guys? Where you been? Yeah.

49:45

And it is.

49:46

It is a time and place thing,

49:48

you know? Like, everybody

49:51

who comes back from Jamaica fucking

49:54

feels like they want to fucking put stuff in their

49:56

hair. And like, you got to hear this fucking

49:58

record.

49:58

I'm like, I know it works. there. Yeah,

50:01

it doesn't work everywhere.

50:03

It works next to a pool. You

50:05

just smoked a joint. You're in the ocean. Sounds

50:07

fucking fantastic. What it does

50:09

is sound fantastic

50:12

everywhere. And that's what I really think

50:14

is like,

50:15

it's like a very, it's like

50:18

what I tried to get into and

50:21

unmask was like an overall,

50:24

what the fuck is this? You know

50:26

what I mean? Like

50:27

what you spend your life doing is

50:29

strange. You know what I mean? What your friends

50:32

spend their life doing is strange. Does

50:34

it matter? Is this something that

50:36

can last or is it a fucking sand castle?

50:39

Do you have to fucking be there? Why

50:41

it's happening and then it doesn't mean anything the

50:44

next day. What do you

50:45

mean? I mean, is it the kind of art

50:47

the fucking last or

50:49

is it the art for that night? You know what I mean?

50:51

Like you know that

50:54

some thing was amazing.

50:57

And then you try to recreate that same fucking

50:59

thing. You catch a vibe. You catch a moment, the

51:01

moment you bring something up and then you try

51:04

to bring it up and people like see through it or something. Yeah.

51:06

You're faking it.

51:07

And most people, I mean,

51:09

when it comes to comedy, not

51:12

only did they not discuss anything

51:14

more than the fucking

51:16

dude is awesome. Right? They don't

51:18

want to figure out

51:20

anything about it. You know,

51:23

they don't want to know. So if somebody tries

51:25

to tell them somebody is hack, it

51:27

doesn't mean fucking shit. So like, I

51:29

liked it. I don't know. I liked it. Yeah. I

51:31

liked it. Well, he steals jokes. Yeah. But okay.

51:34

Yeah. I was like, whatever. Yeah. I had a great time.

51:36

What about not have a good time now? Yeah. You ever

51:38

have someone explain to you the polls in a movie that you

51:40

really loved? Yeah. And then you're like, Oh yeah,

51:43

I guess. But like, but like I

51:45

left having a great time. Yeah. Do one of my

51:47

favorite sets was like, was Shane after

51:50

after the SNL should happen. He just got thrown off. I

51:52

was pissed

51:53

because it was like a

51:55

mainstream comic who got on

51:57

that show.

51:58

Right. And it was like, finally, I went for it.

51:59

for our team and then that all happened

52:02

and it was like, I was just mad. This

52:05

is so, and then I saw him on the side, it was downstairs

52:07

in the new stand. I was like, Shane, come up here, because

52:09

my manager said I can't go on stage yet. I'm like, come up here.

52:12

And we just fucked her and riffed on it for a while.

52:15

We

52:15

had an audience member rank, an Asian

52:17

guy from the audience ranked at different Asians from

52:19

top to bottom. And we were just like, we know there's

52:22

a blogger in here, but we're like, be cool, dude, we're

52:24

having a moment. And it was just like,

52:26

it was such a fun, un-re-creatable

52:28

moment. Yeah.

52:30

And that's kind of the magic of it. Like

52:33

it is that thing, you

52:35

know? How many guys do you make cry in your interviews?

52:38

It's, first of all, I will

52:40

say this. I don't think I make

52:42

them cry. You know what I mean? I

52:44

think that we're just in a moment where

52:49

something that they're probably trying

52:51

to say for the first time ever

52:54

overwhelms them. Wow. You know what I mean? And

52:56

for me, like when,

53:01

when people bring that up

53:03

to me, they think like,

53:06

it's like a goal, but it's

53:08

almost like saying like, when you saw your dad

53:10

cry, you know what I mean? You're like, oh,

53:12

I

53:14

didn't think I was that awful of a person that

53:16

he's telling me that I'm

53:19

ruining the family. So I got that as

53:21

well. And I just want to be

53:23

there with that person.

53:26

And also that's the weird

53:28

thing

53:28

about it. Because when you were asking

53:30

me where my style fucking came from, I

53:33

think it would be, I don't think I would

53:36

do any of that if I wasn't an addict

53:38

first, you know what I mean? I do think

53:40

a lot of this is like

53:42

two people trying to fucking

53:45

stay sober by saying shit. Yeah,

53:47

because you're not, I assume

53:49

if you're an addict on this side of it,

53:53

you've seen some shit and

53:55

you've done some regretful shit. Yeah,

53:57

and you've seen it for it, met friends. So there must

53:59

be.

53:59

Maybe at some level, you're not

54:02

like, what? You're just like, oh

54:04

yeah, okay. That sucks, I've been there. That

54:06

sucks, I've been there. And then also hearing

54:09

the worst fucking thing in the world. I'm cracking

54:12

up laughing. You know what I mean?

54:14

Because you know you're on the other end of it. Yeah, you

54:16

know, you're like, yeah. You

54:18

know, you did. I mean, I

54:21

literally

54:22

think I should just

54:24

do a show about addiction

54:27

because nothing, nothing

54:29

gives me as much joy as

54:32

somebody saying the shit

54:34

that they did and looking around the

54:36

room and people are nodding, you

54:38

know what I mean? People are nodding.

54:41

And one of the, it was a great thing. To

54:44

me, one of my favorite things

54:47

is like, you know, like if you, one

54:49

of the thing when you wanna go sober is you wanna go back

54:51

and Ari, I said that thing to you and

54:54

I apologize, you know. And that's

54:56

really a beautiful thing. There's

54:59

like a thing in it where they're like, unless

55:01

it's gonna bring that person pain,

55:04

you show him back up. Yes, I fucked your current

55:06

wife. So yeah, so we're just

55:08

like, no, no, no, no. No,

55:10

I'm ends on that one. Just stay. You're

55:12

helping by staying away.

55:15

And that is, I mean, it's fucking,

55:18

it's hysterical because there is,

55:21

there is kind of an

55:23

element of

55:26

forgiveness in the unforgivable. It's not fucking forgivable

55:29

what you did. You know what I mean? You're,

55:31

you know, you fucked your best friend's

55:34

wife two days after you

55:36

fucked your best friend's fucking sister. You

55:38

know what I mean? You've done all

55:40

these things that a person

55:43

with zero morals would

55:45

do. And yet people can go,

55:47

yeah. That's

55:48

not me, I regret it. People are gonna say, I fucked

55:50

up, yeah. I fucked up bad and

55:52

I'm living with it. I don't get to,

55:55

you know. In acting class, they remember telling me

55:57

like the results of the story

55:59

is how you're gonna tell. So if you're telling a story about

56:01

meeting your wife in the hospital and you're telling about how

56:03

every broken bone My body was broken But

56:06

you're smiling because you know where it's headed to the

56:08

nurse is my wife and a current like mother

56:10

of my children

56:11

But if it's if it doesn't in there

56:14

then it's like every bone of my body was broken

56:16

Then it's a horrible retelling say

56:19

we always try to figure out actors. That's like I'd never

56:22

heard that before and it's

56:24

fucking brilliant

56:26

You know, it's brilliant

56:27

and some people Literally

56:31

stopped the story there and you have to

56:33

tell them and then you got better Some

56:36

people, you

56:37

know, you'll have friends, you

56:39

know very negative friends As

56:43

a matter of fact everything with Fez I

56:46

felt like every night I'd

56:48

explain That

56:49

the Sun was gonna shine again.

56:52

You know, I mean like I know That

56:54

all this stuff and then we would go through

56:57

that on a constant Basis,

57:00

yeah, that one sucked Yeah

57:04

Yeah, and I I have nothing

57:05

but regrets and then people always

57:07

tell me you shouldn't you know And

57:10

I go I literally if I was in a fucking

57:13

groundhog day, I would just try different stuff all

57:15

the time to do What do you mean just to make

57:17

sure he didn't get to that because I

57:19

can remember the gradualness

57:22

of his anxiety

57:24

Turning

57:27

physical turning paranoid,

57:30

you know, I mean like I can go back You

57:33

know decades through like oh Yeah,

57:37

you know He had panic

57:40

attacks before the fucking radio show and

57:42

we didn't pay enough attention We

57:44

didn't get it there. You know, I mean or

57:47

I know he was gay

57:49

You know what? I mean? He before he know he was yeah,

57:51

you know, I mean, yeah Yeah,

57:54

if you could go back and back fuck I should have yeah,

57:57

and I didn't know you know where I was headed Yeah,

58:01

but that's that's the fucking

58:04

angriest thing about wisdom is

58:06

that you start to get it way

58:08

too late You know, I mean so you're

58:11

sitting around and what you try to do Tell

58:13

a young person who could

58:15

give a fuck what you have to say You know

58:18

what I mean? Well, you're like, you know what you should

58:20

do is

58:20

chase that gal now and

58:22

they're like, okay I remember

58:24

being like a little kid and The

58:31

old people my family would write when I was

58:33

your age and I used to think to myself

58:36

They're lying. They were never fucking

58:38

young This is a story

58:41

that they tell and they were never

58:43

fucking young and I'm never gonna be as old as

58:45

them You know, they had to him

58:48

because that pink Floyd was like then one day ten years

58:50

go by and yes Now we're

58:52

back to pink Floyd Do

58:55

when you did your a tell interview it's get Skankfest

58:57

Brooklyn, yeah what

58:59

I noticed was because

59:01

no one knows who he is and

59:04

Here was a mom where maybe

59:06

we find out who he was Yeah They were

59:08

so many comics crowded around

59:11

squeezing in like high-level comics

59:13

right here to be in the room and hear it

59:16

and see it and

59:17

He I mean from what I remember you

59:19

tell me if I'm wrong. He still didn't let anybody

59:21

in well he let

59:23

people in a lot for a tell and and

59:28

Wouldn't have been a lot for other people But

59:31

my thing is to totally respect

59:34

that I mean first of all I

59:36

was proud of him from coming out and doing it

59:38

because a lot of times like I think

59:40

Every time that he's ever done my

59:42

radio show. He tells me who he's bringing

59:44

with him, right? Deflection

59:51

if

59:51

you can't fucking love that

59:53

guy I mean not as a

59:56

a person but just as an

59:58

artist and a person who's on the this planet,

1:00:01

if you, I mean, I will

1:00:03

fucking think about David

1:00:06

Tell the Way, I'll think about Neil Young. You

1:00:08

know what I mean? Like how did that fucking

1:00:10

happen? You know, how did that

1:00:12

happen? I tell you what he did let on,

1:00:15

maybe without realizing. You're asking

1:00:17

about stuff and he just started talking

1:00:20

about how there's so many good young comics. Yeah.

1:00:23

And I

1:00:23

talk about like, think about

1:00:26

like your truth from whatever your art form is,

1:00:28

the truth. But like his truth is I like jokes.

1:00:30

I like jokes and that's it. Yeah, and he

1:00:33

also really likes supporting

1:00:35

comedy. And so when he's in an interview

1:00:37

with him talking about like, it's such a good

1:00:39

state we're in right now as an industry,

1:00:41

he's letting on,

1:00:43

and that's what you got out of him. He's letting on, I

1:00:45

love standup. That's who I am, I love

1:00:48

standup. I love these guys doing it. And

1:00:50

there, and that's the beauty

1:00:52

of him is I kind of feel like, and

1:00:55

maybe it was from Jump Street that he knows who

1:00:57

he is or he knows what motivates

1:01:00

him. And it isn't

1:01:03

what most people would even consider

1:01:05

success.

1:01:05

You know what I mean? It's

1:01:08

like, it's almost the

1:01:11

way that, and I don't want to blow it out

1:01:13

of proportion, but a holy man knows

1:01:16

that he's traveling around. In comedy

1:01:18

terms,

1:01:19

it tells a holy man. You know what I mean?

1:01:22

He's pure and he's into

1:01:24

it all for the right reasons. Yeah,

1:01:28

just for like, that's two jokes while we go. He had

1:01:30

a thing about that Austrian guy who had a sex dungeon.

1:01:32

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember that story? He built it

1:01:34

and he's fucking the wife and then the fucking

1:01:37

kids and whatever. And he goes, anybody

1:01:39

doing any, I forget his name. You know, Hüslaff

1:01:41

Hamel jokes. And he's like, no, he goes, sweet.

1:01:44

And he was almost like, you can't, no one will remember

1:01:46

this in two months. But he's like, I'm gonna

1:01:48

milk this right now.

1:01:49

That's what I do, I bring laughs to

1:01:51

the live crowds. To the live crowds. And

1:01:54

also, like you said, you don't see him busting

1:01:58

young comics balls just. to do it, you

1:02:00

know what I mean? No, but he does it,

1:02:02

fucking hurts. Yeah, of course. He does it to

1:02:04

motivate. Yeah, but he's also weirdly

1:02:08

nailing you where you need to be nailed, where

1:02:10

I always laugh my ass off, you

1:02:12

know what I mean? Sagora talks about he opened for him

1:02:14

somewhere wherever he was, and then he was like,

1:02:17

I was like, hey, get that guy from last year, he was good. So

1:02:19

he's all excited, it's David Tell, and he does his

1:02:21

best stuff, which is a lot of the stuff from last year. He's

1:02:24

a four year comic. And so Dave's

1:02:26

like, so what's your story? You just try to be an

1:02:28

actor or something?

1:02:29

And he's like, no, I wanna be

1:02:31

a comic. Then why do you do the same material? He

1:02:34

remembered it all from the year before. Yeah, and he goes,

1:02:36

fuck. And it was just like, I mean, he's a superstar

1:02:38

now because of that, you know? He's

1:02:41

like, I better start writing. Yeah,

1:02:43

Sagora's got something.

1:02:45

I remember seeing him even years

1:02:47

ago, where he was

1:02:50

going, I don't even know if

1:02:52

I would be brave enough to be

1:02:55

able to do it exactly the way he does it.

1:02:57

Slow. Slow. I

1:02:59

was watching One Special, and I was

1:03:01

like, I'm gonna fast forward

1:03:04

just to see if he's moving. You know

1:03:06

what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Even a little bit, just

1:03:08

to see if he goes across. But that

1:03:10

is the weird thing about any

1:03:12

of this, is that there's no

1:03:15

one right way to do it,

1:03:17

you know? Are you going

1:03:20

with the flow as you're talking to someone? 100% of

1:03:22

the time. So you have a plan, and then you're like, get

1:03:24

off that plan, because there's a new moment? Here's what I

1:03:26

normally, well, yes. I'll know

1:03:29

there's something to do, but then to

1:03:31

go in a different direction. But I

1:03:33

will, a

1:03:34

lot of times, do prep, so

1:03:36

I don't go back and do the

1:03:38

story

1:03:39

that they tell all the time. You know what

1:03:41

I mean? Yeah. And

1:03:44

I think I've done Robert Klein twice,

1:03:47

and I go, man, I'm gonna make sure that he

1:03:50

doesn't take out the harmonica until I can't

1:03:52

stop my leg. I mean, it's a fucking,

1:03:54

it's a goal. And I haven't

1:03:56

been able to achieve it, you

1:03:58

know? But.

1:03:59

I mean, that's that's

1:04:02

part of it

1:04:03

as well of like,

1:04:05

you know, you take the bumps for where

1:04:07

they are, you know, and I have people

1:04:10

think you stay in the moment

1:04:10

all the time. I mean, there's certain

1:04:13

people and a lot of times it doesn't because

1:04:16

I've chosen them, but the company has said,

1:04:18

you know, we're doing something with this person.

1:04:21

Would you do it? And I'll think

1:04:23

to myself, this is just fucking jive. You

1:04:26

know what I mean? This is jive. And I'm

1:04:28

going to, you know, I'm just fucking

1:04:30

now I'm just fucking, you

1:04:32

know, mopping up. I tried to get there. You

1:04:34

know what I mean? I'm just going to finish the fucking

1:04:36

game, pitch what I have to do and

1:04:39

get out of here. But most

1:04:41

of the time, most of the

1:04:43

time I really end up

1:04:47

kind of with a sense of empathy

1:04:49

about it because a lot of

1:04:51

people I will think I mean,

1:04:54

I'll think about their life and then go to the places

1:04:57

that I can't imagine. You know what I mean? Their

1:05:00

career I'll think about. But then I'll go, I

1:05:02

don't know how this part happened. I mean,

1:05:04

obviously to me, you're one of the strangest

1:05:07

fucking cases of all because of your background.

1:05:09

You know what I mean? And there's

1:05:12

a thing going on now where

1:05:15

they're saying like

1:05:17

they're trying to like get the kids

1:05:20

to know this thing and get

1:05:22

to them young and all that. And I always go.

1:05:24

I mean, I didn't pay attention to anything when

1:05:27

I was in school, but I could see your last

1:05:29

special. You paid attention to a lot

1:05:31

of shit. You know what I mean? Like

1:05:33

that shit's in you. Deep

1:05:35

in me. Deep in you, whether you want

1:05:37

it there or not. And

1:05:40

I have those things from being a Catholic, but

1:05:42

they're never top of mind. But

1:05:45

then when I go

1:05:46

back and think about it, the difference

1:05:48

to me, the difference between the Catholics and the Protestants

1:05:51

is the Virgin Mary, right? We

1:05:54

hold the Virgin Mary and I'm saying my

1:05:56

religion that I'm not even part of. Very precious.

1:05:59

Catholic.

1:05:59

Grew up Catholic the Protestants don't

1:06:02

care about her. No, she's just some hooker. Yeah,

1:06:04

she's just nobody it's her son I

1:06:06

mean, I'm like, well then her son's gonna be pissed

1:06:09

but and in

1:06:10

the New Testament God

1:06:12

picked her because she was literally

1:06:15

without sin and he picks this little

1:06:17

girl and he puts a baby

1:06:19

in her because she's as

1:06:22

pure as you can get and I

1:06:24

don't know what it was about that

1:06:26

and Then I would

1:06:28

be like the only time I would pray

1:06:30

would bid to Mary when I was a kid I

1:06:32

never prayed to Jesus and never so weird

1:06:34

to God and I later I thought

1:06:36

about it But

1:06:37

then I also thought if I had

1:06:39

something to tell my dad my dad Like

1:06:42

I got suspended from school or I got in a fight or whatever

1:06:44

I told my mom and then she went home

1:06:47

with it, you know, I mean so like almost

1:06:49

from as a little kid I know go to the chick.

1:06:52

She's much nicer and She

1:06:56

fucking has a thing she's got something on this

1:06:58

dude You know

1:06:59

I mean and like that was totally

1:07:02

subconscious for me, you

1:07:04

know, and I'm like, well now

1:07:06

that's all you know Mythology,

1:07:09

but if I'm on a plane to start to go sideways,

1:07:11

he's a hill Mary for the grass. It just

1:07:13

happens Wow It just happens Yeah,

1:07:16

it's like second nature. Yeah Are

1:07:19

you there any interviews you did where you're like that

1:07:21

was bad? Like

1:07:24

like regretful not even like I wouldn't

1:07:26

even say someone they they saddled you with you

1:07:28

know But somebody you wanted to do something and you're

1:07:30

just like I didn't hit it. I

1:07:32

Occasionally

1:07:35

if I'm gonna be honest There

1:07:37

were people were like I don't think I

1:07:39

like this person. I think that

1:07:41

their Motivations

1:07:44

are pretty bad. You know, I mean, I

1:07:47

think the thing that they think About

1:07:50

other people is kind of shitty and

1:07:53

I try to stay into it because

1:07:55

it's the only Way

1:07:58

to fucking do this

1:07:59

You know what I mean? But again, you

1:08:02

take it back to sex and you're with

1:08:04

someone who doesn't fucking smell good Or you

1:08:07

know, I mean they're fucking You

1:08:10

know They're fucking just drooling or whatever

1:08:13

and you could you're like this isn't

1:08:15

as pleasant as I wanted it to be We

1:08:18

still gonna do it. Yeah, still gotta do it there. You

1:08:20

gotta fight. Yeah, you're already doing it You can't just

1:08:22

get up and say I must

1:08:24

have been drunk, but

1:08:27

But yeah, those things happen where I feel

1:08:29

like I've been with people but it's a

1:08:32

real Minority

1:08:35

of the time. Yeah, you know, yeah Are

1:08:38

there any way you're like?

1:08:39

Besides the Patrice one where you're like that

1:08:41

was great

1:08:43

where you leave cuz you're a conductor sort

1:08:45

of of a conversation You don't really

1:08:47

do conversations. You really do an interview

1:08:50

Yeah, I try not to do it as a hang I try to

1:08:52

make it different which is a turnoff for

1:08:54

some people You know, I mean You

1:08:57

know they because you know,

1:08:59

we all have our walls up, but I will

1:09:01

tell you one and again people bring it

1:09:03

up to me but when

1:09:05

I was with

1:09:07

Bob Newhart who was somebody that I loved

1:09:09

as a kid, right? It occurred

1:09:12

to me That I

1:09:14

was in his timing right? We were there's 300

1:09:17

people there and He

1:09:20

stammers and he stumbles and

1:09:22

he and he goes to that point and he stops

1:09:25

And you're just with him and

1:09:27

he drops this hammer and boom

1:09:30

the whole room explodes, you know And

1:09:33

I I was like, well, this is fucking

1:09:35

fascinating you know, I mean because I don't

1:09:37

understand this timing

1:09:39

at all and This

1:09:42

you know, I got

1:09:42

it down and and he knew exactly

1:09:45

what he was doing and we had it and he wasn't

1:09:47

he was nervous Before the thing he's

1:09:49

a nervous before the show person, you

1:09:52

know And I I don't know why I did he got

1:09:54

up and started pacing Backstage,

1:09:56

right? Yeah, and then I walked

1:09:59

down the hall

1:09:59

and I started pacing back and forth, just

1:10:02

fucking doing that thing. So when

1:10:05

we got out, he brought up that he's always, he

1:10:07

goes, I noticed you are too. I was kind

1:10:09

of like laughing to myself because I

1:10:11

didn't realize that I was already, you

1:10:13

know, trying to connect to him. Oh, you were getting

1:10:15

that stammery vibe. Well, I was just like,

1:10:18

just quietly walking back and forth, like

1:10:20

he was walking back and forth. But afterwards,

1:10:23

he said to me, he goes, I really want to thank

1:10:26

you

1:10:27

for not fucking stepping on me.

1:10:30

You know, he goes, everywhere I go, somebody

1:10:32

wants to jump the fuck in and

1:10:35

tell me about themselves. And he goes, Carson

1:10:37

was great at it. He goes, I'll

1:10:39

tell you a nightmare, Jay Leno. He just

1:10:41

fucking, you know, yelled something out. Because he's

1:10:43

like trying to do a pause. And then he's like, no, I'm

1:10:46

still talking. I'm pausing on purpose. I

1:10:48

can't jump in yet.

1:10:49

Yeah, and there are a lot

1:10:52

of people who their fear

1:10:55

of the quiet moments are impossible.

1:10:59

And I'll go to the quiet moments.

1:11:01

Interesting. Because when you are

1:11:03

interviewed, there is that thing of like, oh shit,

1:11:05

no one's talked for a second now. Right.

1:11:08

But it's almost like, it's almost like

1:11:10

you can, I'm just thinking this now, you can use that as

1:11:12

a tool to be like, just keep waiting

1:11:14

as you're almost like an interrogator, just sit and keep

1:11:17

watching. Just sit and wait and be part of it, you

1:11:19

know? And they'll like say something else. Yeah.

1:11:22

Maybe they're thinking for a moment.

1:11:24

Maybe they're actually saying to themselves, I shouldn't tell

1:11:26

this story. And

1:11:28

then they do. Because you didn't jump in and change

1:11:31

the subject. Yeah. And I really think,

1:11:35

I was actually having this thing. I think what

1:11:38

separates fucking

1:11:40

comedy from the other

1:11:42

art forms

1:11:43

is that most of the time comedians are

1:11:46

afraid to say, oh, I didn't like

1:11:48

that thing that you

1:11:51

did. You know what I mean? Like the

1:11:53

comedians, there's no real critical

1:11:55

sense out loud

1:11:58

in comedy.

1:11:59

where he was able to say Jay Leno

1:12:02

fuck, you know what I mean? And most people were like,

1:12:05

hey, Jay's a good guy. I got to support

1:12:07

him. I know when Rock

1:12:09

did his last thing, I

1:12:11

had to sit there for fucking hour 10,

1:12:14

waiting for the slap. Waiting for every article's

1:12:16

written down. Yeah. And

1:12:18

then you're just like, and that's

1:12:21

it. You're going to give us six minutes

1:12:23

that aren't really real. And

1:12:26

that's it. And then everything was being like, oh,

1:12:28

he fucking laid them out. He got his revenge.

1:12:31

And I'm like, you could have fucking done the greatest

1:12:34

special ever. And then

1:12:37

that Waylon's kids, I don't know what the- Marlon

1:12:39

Waylon's. Marlon Waylon. He did this fucking

1:12:42

thing. It's unbelievable. He went way more

1:12:44

into it. Way

1:12:45

more into it. He did the entire hour

1:12:47

on it. Wow. It was so interesting. He

1:12:49

did the hour the way that you just did

1:12:51

your hour. Yeah. And he knew all of them.

1:12:54

He had the balls to say, I love

1:12:56

this guy, but he's a dick or he's

1:12:58

a dick, but he's done something. He kind of south parked

1:13:00

it where he covered every angle on it. Every fucking

1:13:03

angle. And nobody brought

1:13:05

that up. And I'm like, that's fucking

1:13:08

genius. But Chris Rock saying

1:13:10

the only reason why I didn't hit him back is

1:13:12

because we don't do things in front of white people. Just

1:13:15

not true, dude. Just not

1:13:15

fucking true. This is not true. That's like, what? What

1:13:18

are you talking about? That's not- You know,

1:13:20

Bobby said it. He said it would have been great if you treated it

1:13:22

like a bomb story. Yeah.

1:13:24

Where it's like, I'm sitting up there and then my friends are hosting,

1:13:26

and they don't defend me. It's true. And

1:13:28

they all fucking stood in clap for this motherfucker. Like,

1:13:31

oh, what the fuck? Who the fuck am I? I take a subway home.

1:13:33

It's something like that. We're gonna- way more fun. Absolutely.

1:13:36

No bravado. Just like, oh, I'm a goofus,

1:13:39

you know? It's 100% true. You're right.

1:13:43

It was a hell gig. It really

1:13:45

was a night that you thought was gonna

1:13:47

go great. Not only did it- I mean,

1:13:49

it's almost a nightmare that something

1:13:52

like that happened and no one

1:13:54

fucking

1:13:54

helped. Yeah, it was so weird. It's presenting

1:13:56

an award. So it's like, this is the

1:13:58

environment to yell back. and so

1:14:00

you're like, what do I do here?

1:14:03

Everyone's in tuxedos. It's

1:14:05

a hell gig. It's a fucking hell gig. It's

1:14:07

terrible. Yeah, you're a benefit and so you get a heckler, like

1:14:09

I can't lay into this guy. Yeah. It's

1:14:12

a benefit for the Holocaust. But

1:14:15

that Wayans kid, he was like, oh no,

1:14:17

man, that goes back, he's been

1:14:19

obsessed with her. Fucking yeah,

1:14:21

you know what I mean? And you're just like, holy

1:14:23

shit, this is fucking great. And

1:14:25

that's what I think Rock

1:14:29

wasn't up to doing yet, and which

1:14:32

is weird when you think of how long

1:14:34

he's been doing it. I think he's also suffering

1:14:36

from some public embarrassment

1:14:38

from that moment. He's not like over it. Like when you

1:14:40

talk about it on a date and somebody's like, I don't care about

1:14:42

my ex-girlfriend, but you know, I'm over it. And but

1:14:44

why do you keep bringing it up? Right. It

1:14:47

was a bad thing that happened to him. Of course,

1:14:49

but what would you love a comic to

1:14:51

fucking get up there and talk about how destroyed they

1:14:54

are? All time high comic too. Yeah.

1:14:57

I mean

1:14:58

that thing could have been

1:15:00

fucking great. And yet nobody

1:15:03

rang the fucking bell. Nobody said, come

1:15:05

on, man, this isn't

1:15:07

what we were all expecting and wanting. I'm

1:15:10

literally needing, you know what I mean? Now

1:15:12

here's another thing that's funny about that. So

1:15:14

people watched it and

1:15:16

they're like, that's the most awful

1:15:19

thing I've ever seen. It took place,

1:15:21

bubba in public. And then I'm

1:15:23

watching a fucking basketball game, same

1:15:26

team in the huddle, Minnesota Timberwolves.

1:15:28

The guy leans over and punches his friend in the face.

1:15:31

Nobody, nobody fucking

1:15:33

reacted. He got a white game suspension.

1:15:36

You know what I mean? They're just like, hey, took place

1:15:38

on the court. You know? Like that's

1:15:40

allowed suddenly. Yeah. Even against

1:15:43

the teammate, when

1:15:44

the guy's in the huddle listening. That's

1:15:46

what I love when somebody throws a bottle up in the player's head

1:15:48

and they're like, hey, take, and it's like, what do you mean? That's

1:15:50

a guy I don't know, chuck the bottle out

1:15:52

of it. I'm on the field.

1:15:55

I gotta take it. Dude, I was just talking about this

1:15:57

the other day, is the things I hate about

1:15:59

the.

1:15:59

The Jackie Robinson story,

1:16:02

right? Yeah. In every movie, Branch

1:16:04

Rickey is saying to him, you're gonna get out

1:16:06

there and they're gonna be yelling at you and they're

1:16:08

gonna call you, you know, all kinds

1:16:10

of words and you, and they're gonna

1:16:13

be spitting at you. And like,

1:16:15

at no point does he go, and then what's security

1:16:17

gonna do? You know, nobody,

1:16:19

he goes, don't worry, T. I mean, I'm

1:16:22

a major league team. You're gonna take

1:16:24

it. You

1:16:25

know, they're gonna, and no one's

1:16:27

thrown out. Yeah. At all.

1:16:30

And for some reason, this is part of

1:16:32

like, the American mythology.

1:16:36

And again, that takes me back to your special. What I loved

1:16:38

about it is it really was about

1:16:41

mythology, which people, we

1:16:44

don't even know what to do with it. You've probably

1:16:46

read the Joseph Campbell books and all

1:16:48

that, right? Joseph Campbell, yeah. Way back.

1:16:51

These things happen over and over and over

1:16:53

and they happen in every society and

1:16:56

maybe they didn't happen, but they're true.

1:16:58

I don't know why we fucking hold

1:17:01

on to the Bible. Three

1:17:03

different religions start with the

1:17:05

same Bible. Then

1:17:07

one stops, two go into even

1:17:09

weirder places.

1:17:11

And I mean, it's 20 fucking 23.

1:17:15

And we're not

1:17:17

ever having a real conversation about

1:17:20

it. We're having people attack

1:17:22

it or debate it where

1:17:24

they're yelling back and forth, but nobody's

1:17:27

going, what are we?

1:17:28

What are we fucking doing? And

1:17:31

it happens. I

1:17:33

mean, people don't realize we're the same

1:17:35

way with the constitution. People are

1:17:37

like the

1:17:38

framers, the framers

1:17:41

where they knew where we were going. And

1:17:43

the few, they were just regular guys. They

1:17:45

were just farmers. Regular fucking rich

1:17:47

farmers.

1:17:48

Some of them owned slaves. They

1:17:50

didn't include women. They didn't

1:17:52

include black people. They had it right.

1:17:55

Yeah, they had it right. They

1:17:57

were ahead of their time. They would take a break.

1:17:59

they would go shit behind a tree in

1:18:02

the city of Philadelphia. Drinkin' a barrel of ale,

1:18:04

and then go back to writing. But

1:18:06

God forbid you should

1:18:08

be like, why do we listen to them? It's

1:18:10

like if you lived in a house that

1:18:12

your fuckin' great-grandfather once

1:18:14

owned, and you couldn't put in a pool because

1:18:17

he didn't like pools, you're like, fuck him. Jimmy

1:18:19

Doyle did a joke along with when he was still just like a comic,

1:18:21

and you just like, you ask people like, what's your religion, like

1:18:23

Catholic, like why are you Catholic, why are my parents are Catholic?

1:18:26

And you're like, man, most people I know wouldn't let their parents pick on a pair of

1:18:28

pants for them. It's really fuckin' true. You had to pick

1:18:30

out your God. And the guilt

1:18:32

though of like straying away from it,

1:18:35

even as a fuckin'

1:18:37

older person, you know? I mean,

1:18:39

Fez had that same shit, where it's like you're coming out

1:18:41

at 50, it killed him. It killed

1:18:43

him, it literally killed him. And

1:18:46

his mother

1:18:48

and father fuckin' knew who he was,

1:18:51

but he couldn't say it.

1:18:53

And I'm like, who

1:18:58

gives a fuck? Yeah, me and he was the same what? He was the

1:19:00

fuck. Same exact thing. Yeah, it

1:19:02

was like he had to wait till his dad did it. So you had to come out at 50 something?

1:19:05

Yeah. That's your whole life, it's already over.

1:19:08

Well, that was the thing with Fez, is like what he really

1:19:10

wanted to be was a twink. You know what

1:19:12

I mean? He wanted to be, yeah. And

1:19:15

I'm like Fez,

1:19:18

first of all, I know a lot of gay guys,

1:19:21

they'll blow ya. They don't fuck

1:19:23

what your weight is, or there's hair on your

1:19:25

back, they don't give a shit at all. And

1:19:28

second of all, I knew you when you were a twink, you weren't

1:19:30

that

1:19:31

sexual, you know what I mean? You were cute, but

1:19:33

you'd be like fuckin' a teddy bear. He'd have to stand

1:19:36

up your game, bro. Yeah, I mean, you weren't

1:19:38

ever a twink. Yeah, I mean,

1:19:41

you were never material in any fuckin'

1:19:43

point in your life, you

1:19:45

know? But

1:19:47

it

1:19:48

fucks us up, and we let it fuck us

1:19:50

up, and you know. Yeah,

1:19:55

I miss that guy. Yeah, man, me too.

1:19:57

I'm sure you do want some more. No, no, a little

1:19:59

less. A little bit less than you. I

1:20:02

never, I never have to deal with this bad part. I

1:20:06

don't know if I talked about this too much,

1:20:08

but that thing of when

1:20:11

he passed away after

1:20:13

that, that I would have so

1:20:16

much time on my hands not

1:20:19

to feel smart

1:20:21

by telling him what to do and

1:20:23

just be in my own fucking head. It

1:20:26

was it was

1:20:29

a fucking smack across the face because

1:20:32

you could say to him,

1:20:33

why don't you just do this? Yeah, we used to do

1:20:35

it all the time. Yeah. We'll do it. We'll get your guy to

1:20:37

blow you. Yeah. And you would feel so

1:20:40

smart when you say, just get up

1:20:42

tomorrow. OK, take

1:20:45

a good walk, you know, and

1:20:47

then I'd hang up the phone at night and

1:20:50

sleep like a baby, like I had done

1:20:52

something. And that's why I said I'm just I'll

1:20:55

always have regrets

1:20:58

for not being able to fucking

1:21:00

crack that. But what would also

1:21:03

is fun is that I guess

1:21:05

when you die, people forget all

1:21:07

the terrible things that you said. They

1:21:09

just remember the good shit. They just remember the good

1:21:11

shit. And people

1:21:13

would, you know, I did two different

1:21:16

memorial services. One in Florida,

1:21:18

one year and people would come up. He was

1:21:20

the sweetest man.

1:21:22

Oh, it was

1:21:24

annoying to do it sometimes. And

1:21:28

he also hated you. I mean, what

1:21:30

was what was really great about

1:21:32

him is that he held

1:21:34

a grudge longer than

1:21:37

anybody I ever knew. And

1:21:39

sometimes even forgot what started it. He just

1:21:41

knew that he just hated a fucking person,

1:21:44

which was great. Was there any when he died?

1:21:47

Was there any sense of? Excuse

1:21:49

me, if I'm overstepping here, was there any sense of relief?

1:21:54

You know, the only person I

1:21:56

ever

1:21:57

talked to that about was.

1:22:00

his sister and

1:22:03

his. Sister.

1:22:08

Had him full time physically,

1:22:10

right? He moved in with her and all,

1:22:12

and he was a very

1:22:16

difficult person. She's a tiny

1:22:19

little person. She had, you

1:22:21

know, a lot of bad health

1:22:23

problems like we thought we're going to lose her half

1:22:26

a dozen times, and then she would get

1:22:28

a call from him and like, could you stop

1:22:30

and pick up chicken? You know, when

1:22:32

you're coming home from the thing, could you

1:22:34

get

1:22:34

me? You know, did somebody get

1:22:37

in to my action figures? You know, so.

1:22:41

So I mean, first of all, there

1:22:43

is nothing harder than being a person

1:22:45

who's taking care of the sick person.

1:22:47

I mean, you find out

1:22:50

why people smack their grandmother, you

1:22:52

know, like you just

1:22:53

can't, you know, you just need an ear. So,

1:22:56

you know, she and I

1:22:58

had discussed it before

1:23:01

and laughed about it. So,

1:23:04

yeah, there is that

1:23:06

sense of,

1:23:09

you know, that thing is over, but what.

1:23:14

The other thing never gets filled back in again,

1:23:16

and you

1:23:18

carry that

1:23:20

loss in a way that you're like, OK,

1:23:22

there's some parts aren't going to heal. You know what I mean?

1:23:25

And I lost him. I lost my parents, unless

1:23:27

another friend all would like within the same

1:23:30

year and a half, you know, and

1:23:32

down to the fact where I felt

1:23:35

myself.

1:23:39

I felt myself kind of aging for the first

1:23:41

time, like truly not feeling

1:23:44

like the thing was too big. And

1:23:47

he

1:23:47

had had the last

1:23:50

part of his life. He

1:23:55

had had this hearted. He

1:23:57

had the heart attack. He went in like an

1:23:59

eye thing.

1:23:59

Right. And

1:24:02

he was going to be, I guess, put to

1:24:04

sleep for it

1:24:06

because he had like a cataract

1:24:08

thing going on. And his sister

1:24:10

wasn't totally paying attention to the whole thing. I

1:24:12

wasn't. And he said to me,

1:24:14

I'm kind of afraid to go in tomorrow

1:24:17

because I'm going to be put to sleep and I'm a you

1:24:20

know, I don't want to have a heart attack while I'm asleep.

1:24:23

And he goes, but I don't want to be awake when

1:24:25

they cut my eye. And

1:24:28

I wrote back on the text back to him, no shit.

1:24:31

And that was it. That was the last thing. No

1:24:33

way. That was the last fucking

1:24:35

text. And then, you know,

1:24:38

I get this fucking call

1:24:42

that, you know, he had a massive fucking

1:24:44

heart attack and he's

1:24:46

in a coma and that lasted

1:24:49

like a week. But he had, you know, his

1:24:51

heart had stopped, I

1:24:52

don't know, five, six months before and,

1:24:55

you know, five, six months before that, I mean,

1:24:57

I don't know how many heart attacks he had by

1:25:00

the end, but it was a lot and a lot of stents. So

1:25:02

he's in this fucking coma and I'm talking with

1:25:04

his sister every day

1:25:06

and they go to the room and try to bring him out of the

1:25:08

coma tomorrow. And

1:25:13

we'll see what happens. Oh, my God. OK. So

1:25:16

then I get a call from

1:25:19

her. She's like,

1:25:21

he's coming out of the heart attack of the coma

1:25:24

and he's fine. He goes,

1:25:26

he's you know, he hears us. He knows he

1:25:28

still has the thing in his mouth, but he knows

1:25:30

where he is. And and then she

1:25:33

and I got into this. Well,

1:25:35

that's it. All the snacks

1:25:37

are being taken out. You know what I mean? Because

1:25:40

like he would hoard snacks. He would

1:25:42

do, you know, I mean, all the she's not so. He

1:25:44

got very, very big towards the end, you

1:25:47

know. And then I went

1:25:49

out

1:25:50

and then I got a call that he had

1:25:52

had another fucking heart attack. And

1:25:55

they're just like, this is he's

1:25:57

not going to be able to come out of this. So she

1:25:59

goes, we're going to. take them off

1:26:01

the thing later and I'll

1:26:03

give you a call. And she did.

1:26:07

And she had the FaceTime

1:26:09

all set up.

1:26:13

And I

1:26:15

was saying goodbye to him, right? And I'm on FaceTime

1:26:18

and all. And I was just telling him, I'm like,

1:26:21

I can't imagine my life without you. I

1:26:23

fucking love you, brother. Thank you from

1:26:25

the bottom of my heart. Everything that

1:26:27

happened,

1:26:28

I don't give a shit. I'd do the whole thing over,

1:26:30

same mistakes, same everything. Never

1:26:33

thought I'd meet a guy like you. We have nothing

1:26:35

in common in here.

1:26:37

I'll never be able to share the memories again

1:26:40

because I don't even remember them all. You were always my memory.

1:26:43

And his sister's crying.

1:26:46

My wife is crying. So wait, two guys don't

1:26:48

talk to each other. Everything was there. It

1:26:51

was beautiful. And then

1:26:53

he didn't die. And then I'm

1:26:55

looking at this FaceTime for

1:26:59

another five hours, right? And

1:27:01

then certain points I'm saying to his

1:27:03

brother,

1:27:08

I don't want to fucking hear about Dan Marino,

1:27:10

okay? He didn't win the big one. Montana

1:27:13

did. You're stupid.

1:27:16

And that's how life is. It's

1:27:19

fucking unsatisfying at

1:27:21

the end, no matter what. Fuck.

1:27:27

But I appreciate this, buddy. And

1:27:29

there's a lot that you asked me to do this. Legitimately,

1:27:32

you are the biggest influence in my style

1:27:34

of going into this. When I started it, it was like, I just

1:27:36

tried to focus on what you were doing with those

1:27:38

own masks. And I was like, I want to do that. I want

1:27:40

to ask questions I want the answers to.

1:27:43

And if I ever got

1:27:45

it across here, I've always admired you. I've

1:27:47

always thought that you were the most unique

1:27:51

fucking cat that I honestly,

1:27:54

I couldn't even begin to figure out. So congratulations

1:27:57

on all the success you've been having

1:27:59

because.

1:27:59

Quite frankly, there's no way you could

1:28:02

have seen that when you were heading towards it You

1:28:05

weren't doing the right show business Now

1:28:08

a new band you opened up and

1:28:10

it's just really cool to say thanks.

1:28:12

Thanks. Well, thanks for doing this. Oh

1:28:14

sure Yeah, buddy. All

1:28:17

right. Love you pal. Love you, too

1:28:28

This is the end You

1:28:37

This is the end

1:28:40

my only friend No

1:29:00

Rise the end And

1:29:13

that's it And now we lay

1:29:15

to rest a podcast one

1:29:18

of the original podcast there was Ari

1:29:20

Shafir skeptic tank has come

1:29:23

to an end It was

1:29:25

a great run. It was a great run.

1:29:27

I had some great episodes if you listened either

1:29:30

from the beginning or Honestly,

1:29:34

if this is your first episode, I'm glad you

1:29:36

came I hope I put on some entertainment

1:29:39

for you Eleven

1:29:43

and a half years over 11 years most

1:29:45

of my comedy over 12 over 12 years Yeah,

1:29:50

most of my comedy career was

1:29:53

spent

1:29:56

Doing this podcast

1:30:01

done some wild ones. In

1:30:04

the beginning, it was just, it was

1:30:06

so outlaw.

1:30:08

I don't know if you guys remember the beginning of podcasts. It

1:30:10

was in response to having to wake up early in the morning

1:30:12

to do morning radio and not being able to curse.

1:30:15

And we were just like, damn, I wish we could do radio.

1:30:17

They were a cool, cool, you know, cool, fun, like

1:30:20

morning radio guys, uh, Kalta,

1:30:23

um, uh,

1:30:25

O&A,

1:30:26

um, Ron

1:30:28

and Fez. Uh, I never went on

1:30:30

there when I was, you know, younger

1:30:32

in comedy. Uh,

1:30:35

um, the sports guys in

1:30:37

DC. There's a bunch, there's a bunch. But

1:30:39

some of them were kind of lame. And the fact that you couldn't curse

1:30:42

was very annoying. And we're like, what if we

1:30:44

didn't have to wake up early? We could do these

1:30:47

and say whatever we wanted. And it kind of came out

1:30:49

of that.

1:30:51

It's part of the second wave of podcasts.

1:30:53

First wave, well, the pre-first wave was like Keith

1:30:56

and the girl and, uh, and,

1:30:58

um, Oh, yeah.

1:31:02

And, uh, some other ones that probably aren't even around

1:31:04

anymore.

1:31:05

And then

1:31:06

Carolla got it really started.

1:31:08

Took a deal, if you don't know, took a buyout

1:31:10

deal with his radio station. They went to Latino programming

1:31:12

and they said, we'll pay you out your contract, but you can't do any

1:31:15

other radio shows. And he goes, what about internet radio?

1:31:17

I go, yeah, it didn't,

1:31:19

didn't, uh, overlap. So

1:31:21

he really started then. Marin and Rogan started

1:31:23

after that.

1:31:25

That was the first wave. I was part of the second wave,

1:31:27

me, Segura, Duncan.

1:31:30

And that second wave ended with like Pete Holmes got

1:31:33

in right at the end of that second wave. It wasn't an official

1:31:35

thing. And then, um, now I don't

1:31:37

know what wave we're in now.

1:31:39

It was so different back then. They're produced

1:31:41

now. Back then they

1:31:43

really were. I mean, Red Baron produced them, but like he

1:31:46

really, we just like, we said it to go. We're like, can we

1:31:48

believe we're recording? Hundreds of people

1:31:50

were listening every week.

1:31:51

Hundreds. And

1:31:54

eventually I was like, I don't want to be in Red Baron's apartment.

1:31:57

Uh, you know, I want to do this in my own time wherever

1:31:59

I want.

1:31:59

I wanted to go to wild places. I did it from,

1:32:02

I just had fun with, it was audio only,

1:32:04

but I had fun doing it in weird spots. Planes,

1:32:07

trains, and automobiles. I've recorded in all of them.

1:32:11

Boats, jungles,

1:32:13

mountains. I did them on hikes. I

1:32:15

did them on a hike with Rogan. We're holding cords, not like

1:32:17

now, where the cords go. We're holding cords,

1:32:20

trying to walk through the fucking woods. I did

1:32:22

one with Theo Vaughn hiking through the woods, about hiking,

1:32:24

about

1:32:26

going to base camp at Everest.

1:32:28

I did one on a boat with Burke Kreish on top of

1:32:30

the Impractical Jokers cruise, where I gained 17

1:32:33

pounds for the buffet. In

1:32:37

memory of Maude Mary Schweinsteiger,

1:32:42

named Melville, born in Ballybunend,

1:32:50

co-carrier Ireland, died November 10th, 1908. I

1:32:52

have this theory that, you

1:32:55

know, people say like, you're never gone as

1:32:58

long as people remember you, but eventually people will not remember you.

1:33:02

So whenever I go to weird graves, like cemeteries

1:33:05

in other countries and stuff like that, I'll just try to say their

1:33:07

name out loud, so like, get them back into

1:33:09

existence for another second. It's

1:33:15

lame. Yeah,

1:33:17

I did some really wild ones. Let

1:33:21

me see.

1:33:22

I did them in other countries, too.

1:33:25

I was just like, let's go do places. I

1:33:27

did, I got, people

1:33:30

are passing by, God, this is so annoying, so

1:33:32

funny. I've never gotten used to this. I've never

1:33:34

gotten used to the fact that when people walk by,

1:33:37

it is the most embarrassing thing in the

1:33:39

world.

1:33:40

I'd rather poop in my pants

1:33:43

in public than

1:33:45

have somebody walk by and see me doing a

1:33:48

podcast. God, that never got easier.

1:33:50

You'd think after 12 years,

1:33:52

it would have been fine, but

1:33:54

it's not, it's just not, a memory

1:33:56

of our dear mother, 1863 to 1935.

1:34:01

Giorno. I did one

1:34:04

in a Yankee game. Me and Paul Morrissey,

1:34:07

that was a fun one. We did them all over. We started

1:34:09

in my apartment talking about the Yankees. It's

1:34:12

thematic, you know. And then we got on the

1:34:14

subway, kept with cords, kept talking on the subway. You felt,

1:34:16

you heard the subway, you heard it. I think

1:34:18

it was called Take Me Out to the Ballgame. Maybe it

1:34:21

was about baseball in general, not the Yankees. And

1:34:24

then we started up in Yankee Stadium. You could

1:34:26

hear the crack of the bat and the roar of the crowd. The

1:34:30

Jews behind me going, what are you doing? These

1:34:32

Jewish girls are like, you guys Jewish? How do you now?

1:34:35

I remember that. I was just like right in their face. How

1:34:37

do you now? Come on. Mix

1:34:40

it up, Jews.

1:34:42

Yeah,

1:34:45

jungles, mountains, in streams,

1:34:49

in a pool. This is not my first time

1:34:51

doing one in a cemetery. I did one in

1:34:53

Ecuador at a cemetery with Zach, the

1:34:55

intro to the Zach Amico horror

1:34:57

movie one. Thematic, have

1:34:59

fun. You know, I chose

1:35:01

fun songs that went with the theme. Like I did one

1:35:03

with that. These are the things I

1:35:06

really remember and I'm proud of and I'm happy about. Like I did

1:35:08

one about diabetes with Rick Ingram. I

1:35:11

used Pour Some Sugar

1:35:12

on me. Oh, shit. Look at

1:35:14

this girl. She's fucking sitting right there. I'm trying to

1:35:16

do this thing. And now she's fucking right there. I

1:35:19

used Pour Some Sugar on me. I'll just go

1:35:21

further away. By Def

1:35:23

Leppard.

1:35:24

Thematically it goes. By the way, there's

1:35:26

a playlist.

1:35:27

On Spotify. The

1:35:30

R.E. Shafir Skeptor's podcast

1:35:32

playlist. It's every song we've used. Pretty much

1:35:34

every song we've used. Carolyn

1:35:37

something. Put it up. It's

1:35:39

there. If you want to know all the songs, they're there.

1:35:43

God, I had fun with the songs. I started

1:35:45

doing teasers because I had to hide

1:35:47

the songs. All things comedy. I was

1:35:49

with them for a while. They

1:35:54

wanted to move to SoundCloud. These

1:35:56

bots that would search for illegally.

1:35:59

used material but it would only look

1:36:02

like 30 seconds so I'd I probably put

1:36:04

in a teaser before the first song so I could

1:36:06

get away with I remember people going like

1:36:09

aren't you worried that the you

1:36:11

know the music people are gonna come after you I'm like yeah I mean I

1:36:13

assume they will eventually but they didn't 12 plus

1:36:18

years they never came for me

1:36:20

I would say artistic license

1:36:22

it's not like I'm selling the

1:36:24

song for a Def Leppard you know I'm

1:36:27

using it to make another statement every

1:36:30

fucking visual artist tell you that

1:36:32

what are they called redefining it I

1:36:35

don't know this fucking bitch

1:36:37

she's just sitting there under a tree ruining

1:36:40

my last thing I'm trying to have an emotional

1:36:42

moment here this fucking bitch it

1:36:45

got bigger the podcast got bigger and bigger and bigger I was

1:36:47

a crossover hit yeah I recognized

1:36:50

my three black people yesterday

1:36:53

yeah different ones

1:36:55

it wasn't it wasn't all at once wasn't it a belle

1:36:57

biv devot you know reunion barbecue

1:36:59

at a public park no

1:37:04

it's three different times all around the city

1:37:06

I can't believe this lady's just gonna sit there while I do this

1:37:08

but you

1:37:12

know it was a good run but it's time to end it

1:37:16

it just so you know it be I realized it became

1:37:18

a job and I do not want

1:37:20

a job

1:37:22

I mean actively don't want a job so it's

1:37:27

like no way here's

1:37:30

the countries I did it from that I think that I remember I'm

1:37:33

sure automobiles boats mountains

1:37:35

jungles islands woods cities happy

1:37:38

ones and sad ones I did ones with Holocaust artists guys

1:37:40

yeah it's like you don't remember now no

1:37:43

one was doing interviews like this when this started no

1:37:45

one was going to get a prostitute

1:37:48

on to talk about what it's like to be a prostitute even Charlie

1:37:50

Rose and people like that weren't doing shit

1:37:52

like that it was just like there

1:37:54

was no limits there was no line

1:37:56

and you could really really go for it and

1:37:59

we did A lot of us did and I did. I

1:38:04

took Ron Bennington's, not advice,

1:38:07

but what

1:38:10

I learned from his unmasked and I

1:38:12

asked the questions I wanted to hear. Like

1:38:15

he said, not the things

1:38:17

I thought people would wanna know

1:38:19

about, but what I legitimately wanted to hear. And

1:38:23

I got some good stuff.

1:38:27

Yeah, I got some really good ones.

1:38:29

I did them all over the world. Just

1:38:32

brought you to a strange spot.

1:38:35

Thailand, China, I did multiple ones from

1:38:37

China, from Beijing. Me and Des Bishop

1:38:40

did one about Beijing, he lived there. And

1:38:43

while we were doing it, we saw a kid fucking pooping in public.

1:38:45

As he was telling me about how kids just poop in public

1:38:48

there. I

1:38:52

forgot about that. I did one from on top of the Great Wall

1:38:54

of China. One of the podcasts was doing

1:38:57

that, from Joshua Tree after we, I

1:38:59

got a night of mushrooms at a full moon. Thailand,

1:39:02

I got a guy, a couple

1:39:05

ones.

1:39:06

Once after a full moon party and another one, I

1:39:09

talked to a guy who was a cave explorer.

1:39:12

Australia, Myanmar, Sweden, the UK,

1:39:15

Scotland. Yeah, they're two countries, two different countries.

1:39:18

By the next referendum, I guarantee you it'll be true. Germany,

1:39:21

Romania, Iceland, Colombia, Ecuador.

1:39:23

A bunch from Ecuador.

1:39:26

Mexico,

1:39:27

from the Amazon. From

1:39:32

planes, from over no territory. From

1:39:35

planes, can you believe it?

1:39:38

Multiple ones. Sorry to everybody who I was talking

1:39:40

like right next to. That must have pissed you off.

1:39:46

Indonesia, Denmark, damn.

1:39:50

Wild subjects, really wild

1:39:53

subjects. People who cut themselves. Yeah.

1:39:58

It's different when someone was a cutter. uh,

1:40:00

sex chat operators, ex-religious victims, uh,

1:40:03

ex-religious victims of child rape. Oh,

1:40:06

victims of child rape.

1:40:11

For a comedy podcast, we

1:40:14

had some fun things, man. A 9-11

1:40:17

first responder, pro bowler,

1:40:19

music buffs, political people, artists, graffiti

1:40:21

artists, ex-junkies. Oh, the one we

1:40:23

did about being hooked on heroin. What

1:40:26

we, me, when I did. It was just me

1:40:28

and a microphone and I, and I would do a

1:40:31

garage band. I learned to tell myself garage band. I'm not

1:40:33

a tech guy, but back then it was like, and

1:40:36

you would trade ideas. You would

1:40:38

trade like, um, people were like, I heard you can do it

1:40:40

like this. I would look on YouTube for fucking support

1:40:42

help. I got, I got my friend's help me.

1:40:45

Joe Rogan gave me a microphone. He goes, I'm switching to those

1:40:47

elbow mics. You want my elbow mic? This is that microphone.

1:40:59

Look how faded it is. Look

1:41:01

how faded it is. 12 years. Thanks, Joe. I've

1:41:03

been using your mic. He

1:41:07

gave me a couch too. I think I ended up selling that to

1:41:09

a fan and then taking Rogan out to a fucking nice steak

1:41:12

dinner on it. Um,

1:41:15

miscarriages, Holocaust survivors, periods,

1:41:19

eating disorders, mental

1:41:22

disorders. I got, I talked to Brody Stevens

1:41:24

right out of the fucking UCLA psych ward. That

1:41:32

was a fun with the nut house. Fight

1:41:36

trainers, eating disorders,

1:41:40

doctors, hookers.

1:41:43

Prostitutifutti was a fucking really good one.

1:41:48

And we got honest. We always got honest and try to

1:41:50

be funny as well.

1:41:55

Men who love hookers. Yeah, that was one of the early

1:41:57

ones. A guy, fake name, who just

1:41:59

went to hookers all the time. Pay to porker.

1:42:02

Pay to

1:42:04

porker. Across

1:42:06

Atlantic rower. Cops, robbers,

1:42:09

drug dealers. Yep. Homeless people,

1:42:11

rich people, orphans, parents, both sides

1:42:14

of a divorce. Two people going through divorce. Interviewed

1:42:16

each of them separately about it.

1:42:18

That was a cool one. We could do whatever

1:42:20

we wanted. It was wild. It really was wild.

1:42:23

Thanks for coming along for the ride.

1:42:29

Episodes about mushrooms. Yeah, lots of episodes

1:42:31

about mushrooms. And weed, and LSD, and

1:42:33

booze. Sobriety.

1:42:35

We had sluts. We had virgins. Road

1:42:38

rage. A couple

1:42:41

failures. Never got on Reverend

1:42:44

Fred Phelps. I really wanted him on. The

1:42:46

guy who started with Westboro Baptist Church. He just wanted to talk to

1:42:48

him about what he wanted, what he was planning, and what he

1:42:50

was hoping for, what he was hoping to accomplish. Without

1:42:52

yelling at him, I just wanted to know.

1:42:54

I legitimately wanted to know, what are you hoping

1:42:56

to get by

1:42:59

protesting a soldier's funeral? Not

1:43:03

even that, I'm saying it too harsh. Really,

1:43:06

how are you going to get that? And what's it going to be?

1:43:10

I wanted a joke thief on. I was close on getting a joke

1:43:12

thief on. I was really close.

1:43:14

I was offering him so much. I

1:43:17

was offering him so much to

1:43:20

own up to it. I was offering him absolution

1:43:24

for fucking sins, just to

1:43:27

talk how you got started, stealing jokes. Were there

1:43:29

any people you went after more than others? You went

1:43:31

after younger comics, more than bigger comics.

1:43:33

Were you ever scared? Did you compartmentalize? Did you forget

1:43:35

that you even stole it after a while?

1:43:38

Things like that. I was offering him absolution.

1:43:42

Just at the end, I wanted to go over, just name 250

1:43:45

people you stole from and just say

1:43:48

sorry on each one. Own up to it,

1:43:50

and then we can move on.

1:43:52

But whatever. It would have been interesting.

1:43:54

But it's okay. I get why not.

1:43:59

that

1:44:02

a 911 one was a first responder

1:44:04

was probably my most artistic one. So I had these teasers,

1:44:07

I use these teasers, like

1:44:10

I said to hide the song.

1:44:13

So for that one, I had this story

1:44:15

that Chris Italia told about. Digging

1:44:18

someone out of the rubble and after

1:44:20

a while finding someone still alive and then

1:44:22

working all day to try to dig him out.

1:44:25

And they're digging him out, there's a cop there and

1:44:27

he's helping and ambulance people, emergency

1:44:30

workers.

1:44:31

The guy said his name and