Hey bro, what's up with you?Not much. Just been thinking about stuff. Like what?Oh, you know how I made a plan but it didn’t go as planned.I dunno what happened and to be honest, I have no idea where I am and I don’t know what’s happening or what the fack I’m supposed to do next. And I hate that cuz I like to know what to expect. All I can tell you is I’m being forced to do things that seem pretty pointless.She calls it self-soothing and she says it's worth the time it takes.And I’m like, this chick is gone cray-cray...Self-soothing is a great way to waste time if ya ask me.And I think we need to back to reality.We need to start working harder if we're ever going to achieve our dreams.But she never listens to me anymore.Instead, she just chills and daydreams about really boring things.What’s she daydream about?Oh, you know...Sometimes she dreams about heaven on earth, sometimes it’s waterparks and waterslides. Sometimes it’s warm apple pie.And It’s messed up because she was never like this until then cancer shit happened.Ever since then, she’s completely lost itAnd I’ve tried to talk to her about it.I told her she needs to let go of the fairytale and come back to the real world....But she just ignored me like my opinion didn’t matter.Then I tried to suffocate her in her sleep just to scare her a bit so she’d see that I'm necessary to her existence as a human being. But it didn’t work.And now she blames me for all her pain...But I’m like, not surprised because that’s typical.People like her can’t ever take responsibility for themselves.She can’t admit that she’s the reason I freaked out, because she’s not listening to me and I demand to be heard. But instead of listening to me, she writes these letters to someone named Beverley and she tells her about her plans to create a new reality.She talks about her new life in the afterlife and so I’m like, where is she going...?Did she already go and is that why I feel like a ghost?So did she die?Or did I?And is that why I can’t get through to her like I could before? So then are we in two different worlds?This is what I don't know, and this is why I don’t know who I am or where I am and why I am...or who I am. But I what I do know is for certain, is that I will not accept this kind of treatment anymore.And the way I see it, if she wants to ignore me, I’ll just have to keep giving her neck pain and maybe some restless legs and a few canker sores so she knows what it feels not be free to express yourself.Maybe then she’ll stop pretending I don’t exist.Maybe then she’ll realize I’m the one she needs to make amends with. Until then, her plans to be great will never work out.How can they when I’m the one who helps her do the work? The work that works.I don’t sit around all day and daydream. I get things done.Ok. You keep telling yourself that but nothing you ever do is ever fun. And that’s why I don’t want to listen to you anymore. And yes, I can still hear you, through the door.I just don’t need you anymore, so I ignore.So you can try to hurt me, but I’m surrounded by light and love, so good luck.  But if you decide to raise your frequency and start listening to me and what I want, then maybe we can be friends again.Until then...You're dead to me.SOCIAL MEDIA // @ArtistSarahLong artistsarahlong.com artistsarahlongstore.com  EMAIL // [email protected]