0:09

Welcome to the Stepping Into Meaningful Relationships

0:11

podcast . I'm your host , carissa

0:14

Stepp . I'm a relationship and

0:16

human design coach , and this podcast

0:18

is designed to help you create a stronger

0:20

connection to yourself so you can

0:22

transform the relationships around you

0:25

, whether that be with your partner , a friend , a

0:27

parent , a child or your business . We'll

0:30

be looking at relationships through the lens of human

0:32

design , and my guests and I will

0:34

bring you the tools , tips and tricks to

0:36

create deeply meaningful connections with others

0:38

. But first , let's start

0:40

with you . The most important relationship

0:43

you have is the one with yourself . Thank

0:45

you for tuning in . Now let's get to today's

0:47

episode . Hey

0:52

, hey , everyone . Welcome back to another

0:54

episode of Stepping Into Meaningful Relationships

0:56

, the podcast that helps you transform

0:58

the most important relationship in your life , the

1:01

one with yourself , so you can create

1:03

healthier connections with others . I'm your host

1:05

, carissa Stepp , and today we're going

1:07

to be talking about something that I personally

1:10

have a lot of experience with . You see

1:12

, I am a self-proclaimed recovering

1:14

people pleaser . Back in 2019

1:16

, I went through what I would

1:18

call a crisis of self-realization

1:21

. It was a moment where I remember

1:24

staring back at my reflection in the mirror

1:26

, wondering how

1:28

I got there , who I was

1:30

and why I felt so unhappy

1:32

and deeply unfulfilled . It

1:35

wasn't until I embarked on a self-discovery

1:37

journey another year or so later

1:39

, when I realized that so

1:41

much of the life that I had created

1:44

was done so by trying to

1:46

meet the expectations of everyone

1:48

around me . I had created

1:51

precisely the lifestyle that I wanted

1:53

, but not exactly the

1:55

life that I deeply desired

1:57

. I had no clue how I had gotten

1:59

there , but I was eventually

2:01

able to identify that it

2:03

was my people-pleasing tendencies that

2:06

got me there . So today

2:09

I am going to take you on a journey

2:11

to unmask the toxic patterns

2:14

that may be holding you back from

2:16

creating the life or the meaningful

2:18

relationships that you deeply desire

2:20

. We'll be diving into

2:22

what people-pleasing truly is

2:24

, why you may become

2:27

a people-pleaser to begin with , how

2:29

it silently poisons you and

2:31

is toxic to your well-being , why

2:34

it's closely linked to codependency and

2:36

, of course , what you

2:39

can do to overcome it . So

2:41

we're going to begin with defining

2:43

what people-pleasing is . Now

2:45

, I'm sure a lot of you are familiar with the

2:47

term people-pleasing , but for the sake

2:50

of diving deep , let's

2:52

just define what it means within the

2:54

confines of this discussion . People-pleasing

2:57

is the act of

2:59

prioritizing the

3:01

desires and approval of others

3:04

above your own . It's

3:06

when we subconsciously

3:09

self-sacrifice or

3:11

self-abandon in order

3:13

to receive external validation

3:15

due to a fear of rejection or

3:18

not belonging . You may be wondering

3:20

how this subconscious pattern

3:22

develops . It's something

3:24

that I had wondered for

3:26

a long time , so I'm going to pose

3:28

these questions to you that I had

3:31

been at one time asking myself . Why

3:34

do you feel so responsible for keeping

3:36

other people happy ? Why

3:40

do you feel a deep sense of shame when

3:42

you let someone else down and

3:44

end up taking full responsibility for

3:46

their emotions around the disappointment

3:49

that you may have caused them ? Why

3:51

are you so uncomfortable with conflict and confrontation

3:54

, making you feel like you always have

3:56

to be agreeable , the peacemaker

3:59

, the caretaker , the mediator

4:01

? Well , it turns

4:03

out that people-pleasing often develops

4:05

as a coping mechanism in childhood , as

4:08

a way to self-preserve within dysfunctional

4:11

family dynamics . And remember

4:13

we talked a little bit about dysfunctional

4:15

family dynamics in episode 35

4:17

. So go back and check that out . When

4:19

you're done listening to this episode , let's take

4:21

a closer look at how and why

4:23

this behavior emerges . So

4:26

within a

4:28

dysfunctional family dynamic , the

4:30

home environment is often marked

4:32

by inconsistency , unpredictability

4:35

and emotional volatility . As a child

4:38

, you might have felt very uncomfortable with

4:40

not knowing what to expect next

4:42

, it may have caused you to feel

4:45

like you had to live your

4:47

life walking on eggshells and

4:50

, as a result , it may have caused

4:52

you to struggle with feeling

4:54

safe in the unknown

4:56

, feeling unsafe in the uncertainty

4:58

, and so , as a way of

5:01

learning how to cope with that , you

5:03

learned that by keeping the

5:06

people around you happy

5:08

, so that you didn't experience

5:10

that unpredictability in

5:13

, perhaps , the emotions

5:15

of the adults around you , you

5:17

learned people pleasing behaviors . In

5:20

a dysfunctional family , there's also a lack of emotional

5:22

support and nurturing . Typically

5:25

, there is a caregiver who is

5:27

emotionally distant or

5:29

who may be emotionally negligent , and

5:32

so , as a result , as a child , you

5:34

may not have received the validation

5:36

, love and care that

5:38

you needed in order to develop a

5:40

healthy sense of self . It

5:42

may not have felt safe for you to be

5:45

yourself , and so you adapted

5:48

another persona or

5:50

became the person you thought you should

5:52

be in order to receive

5:54

the validation , the love and

5:56

the care that you needed as a child . In

5:59

some cases , children in dysfunctional families

6:01

may be forced into the role

6:03

of caretaker or mediator , which

6:05

is not their responsibility . That's

6:08

not the responsibility of a child , that is the responsibility

6:11

of an adult . So this can lead

6:13

to a strong desire in

6:16

children to maintain

6:18

harmony and to keep the peace in

6:20

the family , because when everyone

6:23

else is happy and getting along

6:25

, then these children could feel

6:27

or you could feel Like

6:30

you were safe in your environment

6:32

, right ? It's almost like a way

6:34

of trying to control your

6:36

external environment in order

6:38

to control the internal environment

6:40

within you . You may have learned people

6:42

pleasing as a coping mechanism . Children

6:45

naturally crave the love and approval

6:47

of their caregivers for safety and security

6:50

. When those caregivers are

6:52

inconsistent or emotionally

6:54

distant , children believe that

6:56

their safety depends on pleasing their parents

6:58

in order to feel safe and secure , which

7:00

is something else we just discussed . And so it doesn't

7:02

have to necessarily happen strictly

7:05

and only in dysfunctional family dynamics

7:07

, but this can happen when

7:10

a caregiver is just emotionally

7:12

distant , right . Perhaps

7:15

maybe they were very

7:17

stressed out a lot due to work or

7:19

health issues , or because maybe

7:21

they were taking care of an elderly parent

7:24

, right , your grandparent and

7:26

so , as a result , they just didn't have the

7:28

energy or the capacity to

7:31

show up for you consistently in

7:33

a way that felt emotionally

7:36

supportive . We could also see that

7:38

a child might suppress their needs and emotions

7:41

as a way to avoid conflict

7:43

or negative reactions . The

7:46

suppression becomes a way of life , as

7:49

they believe that expressing themselves is

7:51

too risky . So what

7:53

happens in the longterm is you

7:56

may have shut down emotionally , which

7:58

can hinder and impact your relationships

8:01

as you got older . Creating

8:03

a false sense of self is something

8:05

that a people pleaser will do as

8:08

a way to meet the expectations of

8:10

others . So this false

8:12

self is a survival strategy

8:15

to gain approval and avoid

8:17

rejection . And this goes

8:19

back to the idea of wearing a mask

8:21

or feeling like you can't be your true , authentic

8:23

self , which we spoke about back in

8:25

episode 33 . Children

8:28

may learn to survey

8:31

the room to understand which

8:33

persona or version of

8:35

themselves would

8:37

be approved of by the group . Well , at

8:40

the same time concealing or hiding

8:42

in shame the parts of themselves that they fear will

8:44

be rejected . People pleasing can also

8:46

develop due to a fear

8:48

of abandonment . That's one of the people

8:50

pleasers biggest fears . Disfunctional

8:54

family dynamics can really instill a deep

8:56

fear of abandonment in children . They

8:58

learn that they must conform to the wishes

9:00

of their caregivers in order to maintain

9:03

any semblance of connection

9:05

, and this could mean that

9:07

they feel that they have to be

9:09

a certain way right , maybe

9:11

the good girl or the good boy , or they

9:14

need to be overly polite or

9:16

pretty or handsome or high achieving

9:18

or smart or , you know , athletically

9:21

skilled in order to

9:23

receive any kind

9:25

of love , right

9:28

or connection to their parent

9:30

, or recognition or attention

9:32

from their parent . You

9:34

know , people pleasers will often use their ability

9:36

to please as a means of earning

9:39

love and avoiding abandonment

9:41

. They become very adept

9:43

at anticipating the needs and wants of others

9:45

, believing that it's going to keep them safe

9:48

from rejection . So , again

9:50

, they're going to learn to mask the parts of themselves that

9:52

they believe will cause them to be rejected

9:54

or abandoned or outcast . So

9:57

why is people pleasing so

9:59

toxic ? Well , let's

10:01

discuss some of the long-term effects . People

10:04

pleasing leads to a loss of self-identity

10:06

, which is what I had experienced . Right , when

10:08

you constantly adapt yourself to meet

10:10

the expectations of others , you

10:13

begin to lose touch with who you truly

10:15

are . And when

10:17

you're wearing a mask all the time

10:20

, pretending to be someone that you're not

10:22

, it is incredibly exhausting

10:24

, and what happens

10:27

is it also ends up impacting your

10:29

relationships with people . People

10:31

pleasers often struggle to build authentic

10:34

, balanced relationships , because inauthenticity

10:38

is the foundation

10:40

of people pleasing . So when

10:42

you're not showing up in your relationships

10:44

as your true self , it

10:47

makes it really hard to

10:49

create a connection with someone for

10:52

who you really are right

10:54

it's . Your relationship becomes based on the person

10:56

you're pretending to be , not

10:59

the real you . To take that further

11:01

, and in other words , your connections

11:03

may be based on the persona

11:06

that you've created rather

11:08

than your true self , which hinders

11:10

the development of genuine connections

11:13

. So what

11:15

happens is oftentimes is

11:17

, eventually you

11:20

may feel that you

11:22

are not heard or seen

11:24

in your relationship , and it's

11:27

not necessarily that your partner's not

11:29

hearing you or not seeing you , but

11:32

what they're hearing and what they're seeing is not

11:34

the real version of you . It's some

11:36

alternate

11:38

persona that you have shown

11:40

up as , because you're hiding

11:43

the real parts of you . And

11:45

so with people pleasers , because of the sphere of abandonment

11:47

, the sphere of rejection

11:50

, they struggle to feel confident or safe being

11:52

who they are . They

11:55

feel uncomfortable , it

11:58

feels vulnerable to even safely

12:00

speak their truth . You might

12:02

struggle with even asking for what you need , and so that's

12:04

gonna obviously cause a big disconnect in

12:07

your relationships . Because if you can't even

12:09

feel safe saying

12:11

how you truly feel , if

12:14

you don't feel safe asking for

12:16

what you need , if you

12:18

don't feel safe asking

12:20

your partner for the emotional support

12:22

that you need because you learned in

12:24

your childhood that that was not

12:26

ever a safe thing for you to do , and

12:29

so you shut that all down . Then

12:31

, of course , the communication in your relationship is

12:33

going to fall apart , and your

12:36

relationship is likely going to also

12:38

fall apart , and

12:40

people pleasing can also lead to chronic stress

12:42

and anxiety . Right , that constant

12:44

fear of disappointing or

12:47

upsetting others can take a toll on

12:49

your mental and emotional well-being . It

12:52

becomes this toxic recipe

12:54

for self-doubt , as you're always going to second-guess

12:57

yourself and your decisions , because

12:59

every decision you've ever made hasn't been

13:02

because it was what you wanted

13:04

. It was because it's

13:06

what you believed you had to do in

13:08

order to receive love or

13:10

validation or approval or acceptance

13:13

. So , over time

13:15

, the reason why people pleasing is

13:17

so toxic is because it leads

13:19

to resentment , especially when

13:21

you end up doing things

13:23

you don't want to do simply to gain approval

13:26

. Especially when , in your relationships

13:29

, you are feeling so deeply

13:31

unseen and unheard . You're

13:34

going to start to resent your partner for that . But really

13:37

you need to take a closer look in

13:39

the mirror and say well , what's my

13:41

accountability in this ? And if you're not

13:43

showing up as your true , authentic self in the

13:45

relationship , then it's not your partner's fault

13:47

that you're not feeling seen or heard . You're

13:49

masking yourself so they can't

13:51

see you for who you are . They

13:54

can't hear what you really think or believe

13:56

because you're not voicing it . So over

13:58

time , you know , the anger and the resentment

14:01

starts to build towards those

14:03

that you're trying to please and

14:06

it becomes this lose lose situation

14:08

, as it can really slowly start to poison

14:10

your relationships . Now

14:12

, people pleasing is also closely linked to codependent behavior . So

14:16

let's discuss why that is and , again

14:18

, the adverse effects that it can have . So

14:22

first let's just define what codependency is

14:24

, because I feel like sometimes I throw this word around

14:26

and maybe some of you don't even understand or know what that is . So

14:30

codependency is ? It's a complex

14:32

and often misunderstood concept , but it

14:34

refers to a dysfunctional

14:37

and unhealthy pattern of behavior and relationships

14:39

where one person the codependent is

14:43

excessively reliant on another person

14:45

for their emotional well-being , their

14:48

self-esteem and sometimes even their identity . So

14:52

this reliance is often

14:54

characterized by enabling

14:56

caretaking and a

14:58

disproportionate focus on meeting the needs and

15:00

desires of the other person , often

15:02

to the detriment of one's own

15:04

needs and boundaries . So codependent

15:07

relationships are often marked by

15:09

a power imbalance for

15:11

the most part . Where you have this codependent

15:13

who's trying so hard , so hard to

15:16

receive that validation , receive

15:18

the love , the attention , the recognition

15:20

that they need . And the

15:22

other person in the relationship kind

15:24

of holds the power , because the

15:27

codependent is anticipate with the other person

15:29

needs . So they self-sacrifice to

15:31

serve the needs of that partner

15:33

and as a result , they also

15:35

self-abandon , right ? Because now their

15:38

needs are no longer important , their wants are no longer important . They

15:40

may not even know what their wants , their needs

15:43

or their desires are any longer

15:45

, because they've become potentially even

15:47

enmeshed with that other

15:49

partner which we sometimes call the enabler . So

15:51

let's discuss why codependency

15:54

is closely linked to

15:56

people pleasing . And it's because

15:58

they share a lot of key characteristics . So we're going

16:00

to walk through those really quick . Again

16:03

. The loss of self-identity right , in both

16:05

cases there's a risk of losing one's sense

16:07

of self . They both have

16:09

trouble identifying their own needs , their desires

16:11

and their values because they are so preoccupied

16:14

with meeting the needs of everyone else , right . So

16:17

there's constantly this external focus

16:19

outside of themselves , on

16:21

everyone else , instead of actually spending

16:23

any time focusing on the other partner internally

16:26

, on what they need . Both

16:28

codependence and people-pleasers often

16:30

have a deep-seated fear of rejection and

16:32

abandonment and this fear just drives

16:35

them to constantly seek the approval and

16:37

validation from others , which makes it

16:39

challenging to assert their own needs or

16:41

opinions . Codependence will also engage

16:43

in people-pleasing behaviors , believing that

16:45

meeting the needs of others will secure their

16:48

place and their relationship , so that the partner

16:50

doesn't walk out the door and leave them . It almost

16:52

becomes like a subtle manipulation , like

16:55

if I continue to keep meeting your needs

16:57

, then you won't want to leave me , right

17:00

, and I will continue to get my needs met

17:02

right . I'll still hopefully continue

17:04

to get the love and the recognition and the attention

17:06

and the validation from you partner

17:08

if I continue to behave in this way

17:10

. So a lot of times , you know , codependence

17:13

and people-pleasers get into these relationship

17:15

dynamics where it

17:17

just reinforces the toxicity

17:20

of these behaviors . Right , they continue

17:22

to engage in them until they get to the point

17:24

where they realize either they're

17:26

so depleted and exhausted that they can't do

17:28

it anymore they might become physically

17:31

sick and can no longer meet the

17:33

needs of their partner and sacrifice

17:36

their own because now their health , their body

17:38

, is failing them in some way , or their health is failing

17:40

them in some way . So they don't have a choice . And

17:42

then other times , you know , there might be this like awakening

17:44

moment of whoa , what's

17:46

going on here ? Why do I

17:49

feel like I felt , you know , so

17:51

unfulfilled and so unhappy

17:53

, and why do I feel so lost ? So

17:55

in codependent relationships

17:57

, the dependent or the codependent person

18:00

may exhibit people-pleasing behavior

18:02

and also might feel

18:04

like they're carrying the weight of the relationship

18:07

on their shoulders . In both codependent

18:09

and people-pleasing dynamics , individuals

18:12

may engage in enabling or caretaking

18:14

behavior , such as rescuing

18:16

others from consequences or

18:19

constantly sacrificing their own well-being

18:21

to support someone else . Both

18:23

are actually associated with low self-esteem , so

18:26

individuals may seek

18:28

that external validation to

18:30

feel some sense of self-worth

18:32

, which leads to that vicious cycle

18:34

of constantly seeking approval and

18:37

then , on the flip side , feeling inadequate

18:39

if that's not obtained . In codependent

18:41

relationships , there's often a lack of healthy boundaries

18:44

. People-pleasers tend to blur the

18:46

lines between themselves and others , making

18:48

it very difficult to assert their own needs and

18:50

desires . Having boundaries in place

18:53

is definitely number

18:55

one thing that you can do to

18:57

start to exit a codependent

18:59

relationship , but also

19:01

to stop the people-pleasing

19:03

behavior . Right Like , learning how to say no

19:06

is super important for anyone who wants

19:08

to recover from people-pleasing . And

19:10

both are going to experience , to some

19:13

degree , inhibited personal

19:15

growth , because your growth

19:17

is going to be stifled if

19:19

you're missing opportunities for self-discovery

19:22

and self-improvement because you're so focused

19:24

on everybody else and not yourself , and you

19:26

may even deny yourself of the opportunity

19:29

of pursuing your own goals and aspirations

19:31

, either due to a lack

19:34

of awareness of what they are right , because you've

19:36

never actually considered what do

19:38

I want , or it

19:40

could be due to a lack of time

19:42

and energy , because you're so over-committed

19:44

serving the needs of everybody else . So

19:47

when you try to be all the things to all

19:49

the people , you just have

19:51

nothing left to give , including

19:54

yourself . You can't do what you

19:56

want to do because you're too busy doing all

19:58

the things you believe you need to do in order

20:00

to stay safe or in order to not

20:02

be rejected or abandoned . And

20:04

so , again , as I mentioned , codependent behavior

20:06

tends to perpetuate dysfunctional patterns

20:09

, both for you and the people around you that includes

20:11

your children , by the way and

20:14

you might enable destructive behaviors

20:16

in others , and they , in turn , may

20:18

become dependent on your people-pleasing

20:20

. So that's a very important dynamic

20:22

to understand . It's important to

20:24

note that not all people-pleasers are

20:26

codependents and not all codependents

20:29

are necessarily people-pleasers . However

20:31

, these behaviors often coexist and

20:34

addressing them can involve similar

20:36

strategies . So let's dive in

20:38

now into how you can break free

20:41

from people-pleasing and codependency

20:43

. First

20:45

, it begins , like most things we

20:47

discuss on this podcast , with self-awareness

20:50

. If you start by recognizing

20:52

the codependent behaviors and

20:54

the people-pleasing tendencies within yourself

20:57

, you can then start

20:59

to acknowledge the

21:02

impact that it has on your life and your

21:04

well-being . So once you're

21:06

able to acknowledge that , you

21:08

can learn to accept that this is a part of

21:10

how you've shown up in your relationships

21:13

and then you can start to do something about it

21:15

. Awareness is always the first

21:17

step towards making a change . The

21:19

next step is understanding your triggers

21:21

. People-pleasing often

21:23

arises from past experiences

21:26

or trauma . Codependency stems from

21:28

dysfunctional family dynamics . So

21:30

identifying your underlying triggers that

21:32

lead to this behavior is really

21:35

important . We know that people-pleasing shows

21:37

up as a part of you that

21:39

is trying to keep you safe and secure in

21:41

your relationships . So recognizing

21:44

your tendencies and , when they show

21:46

up , what is triggering you

21:48

into leaning into those tendencies

21:51

, is important because , again

21:53

, you can't change anything until you

21:55

build awareness around it . When

21:57

we're triggered , we feel unsafe

21:59

. So that's the connection I want you to make

22:01

here . So understanding your triggers is really

22:03

important , because if you don't

22:06

feel safe , you're going to lean into

22:08

these coping strategies

22:11

, these unhealthy behavioral

22:13

patterns that you have

22:15

learned and adapted throughout your life

22:17

to start to feel safe again . So if

22:19

we can learn and understand what our triggers

22:22

are and then we can build

22:24

somatic practices around that

22:26

to down-regulate our

22:28

nervous system when we're triggered , we can

22:30

start to break free

22:33

from engaging in these

22:35

toxic behaviors and these unhealthy

22:37

patterns . Prioritizing your

22:39

self-care is also really important . You

22:41

need to make sure you're taking care of yourself

22:43

. That includes anything

22:46

, any kind of activity that's going to promote

22:48

your physical , emotional or mental health . Practicing

22:51

self-compassion is another part

22:53

of this right Replacing self-criticism

22:56

with self-compassion , understanding

22:59

that you're worthy of love and respect

23:01

just for being who you are

23:03

, without the need to constantly

23:06

please others or be someone that you're

23:08

not . Remember to treat yourself

23:10

with the same kindness and understanding

23:12

that you would offer to a friend . Understand

23:14

that making mistakes is a part of being

23:16

human and you don't have to be perfect

23:19

. Self-compassion helps in

23:21

releasing the need for external

23:23

validation . When we can

23:25

learn to love ourselves , we

23:28

stop seeking outside love

23:30

to fill those holes within us . Building

23:32

your self-esteem is also really important

23:35

and reminding yourself that

23:37

you are worthy and valuable , independent

23:40

of what other people think of you , independent

23:43

of their approval or validation

23:45

. You don't need their approval

23:48

or their validation to live your life as

23:50

you . You are inherently worthy

23:53

, just being who you are . Practicing open

23:55

and honest communication with others is

23:57

a really good step . It can be very hard

23:59

for people pleasers and co-dependents to do this

24:01

in a way that feels safe Learning

24:03

how to ground yourself , to feel

24:05

present , to feel safe , so

24:08

that you can openly

24:10

communicate and share what you're thinking

24:12

, share your

24:14

beliefs and your opinions when

24:16

asked caveat , asterix

24:19

Only when you're asked

24:21

, because no one wants to hear anyone else's

24:24

opinions unless they are asked , because then it can

24:26

get perceived as a judgment or criticism . I

24:28

just want to clarify that . But it's important

24:30

that you have the ability

24:33

to have open and honest conversations

24:35

, because that's what's going to foster

24:38

authentic connections and help

24:40

you build healthier relationships . It's

24:44

also important to learn

24:47

how to establish and maintain

24:49

healthy boundaries in your relationships

24:51

, which I mentioned just before . This

24:54

involves first recognizing what

24:56

your needs are , asserting

24:59

them and understanding that it's okay

25:01

for you to set those boundaries and

25:03

prioritize your well-being , learning

25:06

to say no when you need to , and

25:08

then also knowing that setting boundaries is

25:10

not selfish but absolutely

25:12

necessary for maintaining your own mental

25:14

and emotional health . It also

25:16

helps you create healthy relationships

25:19

, because when you set a boundary

25:21

, you are teaching people how

25:23

they should be treating you . You are telling

25:25

them what kind of behavior you're

25:28

going to accept and tolerate and what you are

25:30

not . And , of course , there are all different types

25:32

of boundaries which we're not going to get into . The

25:34

other thing is consider reaching out for

25:36

support to help you break

25:39

the patterns of people pleasing

25:41

and codependency . I

25:43

can provide you with valuable insights

25:46

and strategies for breaking free from these patterns

25:48

, including identifying

25:50

your triggers . I can give you somatic

25:52

practices . I can help you with setting

25:54

boundaries , cultivating more self-compassion

25:57

and rebuilding your self-worth . It's

26:00

all part of my freedom unleashed

26:02

method that I just submitted recently

26:04

for Trademark , so I'm super excited about that . But

26:06

I wanted to also share with you that

26:08

the doors are now open

26:10

to register for my empowered

26:12

boundaries bootcamp . I have

26:14

been spending a lot of time creating

26:17

this bootcamp and I'm super excited because it

26:19

is jam-packed with so

26:21

much value and so much support

26:23

at an incredible , incredible

26:26

price . So for only

26:28

$147 , you

26:30

will gain access to this incredible course

26:33

that will

26:35

open officially in November , meaning

26:37

that content will become available about

26:39

mid-November November 15th . However

26:42

, you can begin to pre-register

26:44

today and

26:46

what you're going to learn is you're

26:48

going to gain the knowledge , the skills

26:50

and the confidence to establish and

26:52

maintain healthy boundaries , protect

26:55

your emotional well-being and , of course , create

26:57

more fulfilling and respectful relationships

27:00

in your life . You're going to learn how

27:02

to break free from people-pleasing

27:04

and codependency and how

27:06

to say no without the guilt

27:09

right , without the

27:11

fear of rejection . So

27:13

if this is something that is interesting to you

27:15

, head to the link in my

27:18

show notes and register

27:20

for this incredible course , which I think is

27:22

providing so much value , at a

27:24

really reasonable price . There

27:27

are five modules with approximately 15

27:29

lessons that will have you

27:31

setting boundaries like a boss in no

27:34

time at all . I'm also including an add-on

27:36

to this empowered boundaries bootcamp where you

27:38

can up-size your offer

27:40

here for $100 . You

27:43

will learn how to safely

27:45

say no with confidence and without the guilt

27:47

, with my 101 support

27:49

. So you will get for an additional

27:52

$100 , so total of $247

27:55

between the course right , the empowered

27:57

boundaries bootcamp course and

27:59

a 90-minute 101 intensive with me , which

28:01

will be broken up into two sessions one

28:04

60-minute session and then one follow-up

28:06

30-minute session . You will get one-on-one

28:08

coaching from me to

28:10

help you release any limiting beliefs

28:13

so you can soothe any of your emotional triggers

28:15

right . So you're gonna get the somatic practices when

28:17

we work together so that you

28:19

don't back down on

28:21

your boundaries . Because what I

28:23

often find with people pleasers

28:25

and co-dependence is they

28:28

can feel really uncomfortable setting a boundary , and

28:30

they'll do it . They'll set a boundary , they'll say no

28:32

or they'll set a boundary in a relationship and the

28:34

minute that they face any

28:36

kind of pushback or resistance , they

28:38

start second-guessing themselves and

28:41

they start to wonder if maybe they should back

28:43

down . Right , and sometimes they will

28:45

like they will end up in relationships with people who

28:47

will push back so much that

28:49

they may feel like they don't

28:51

have any other choice but to back down on

28:53

this boundary that they've set , or they'll

28:55

feel so overwhelmed

28:58

with guilt , because when

29:00

you start setting boundaries , people will start saying things

29:02

to you like oh , you've changed

29:04

, you're selfish , you're this , you're that , whatever

29:06

, and that obviously is

29:08

the opposite of validation and can

29:10

feel very hurtful . And so

29:13

what happens is they end up reverting back

29:15

into these people pleasing and co-dependent

29:18

behaviors in order to feel safe

29:20

again in their relationships . So that

29:22

is the whole point of why I'm offering this additional

29:25

one-on-one intensive add-on is

29:27

so that you can get the support that you need , after

29:30

you're done with this course , to not back

29:32

down to set the boundaries without guilt

29:34

, and so this incredible

29:36

offer is not going to last very long

29:38

, because I'm only making

29:41

room for 10 people to upgrade

29:43

to this one-on-one support . So if

29:46

this is something that you're interested in , I highly suggest

29:48

jumping on it at the link

29:50

in the bio , or feel free to reach

29:52

out to me and I can send you more information . Okay

29:55

enough about that . So , to wrap things

29:57

up , I want you to know that breaking free

29:59

from people , pleasing and co-dependency is

30:01

truly a journey towards self-empowerment

30:04

and healthier relationships . It

30:07

may take time and effort , but the

30:09

rewards of claiming your sense of self and

30:11

experiencing more balanced

30:14

, authentic connections are so

30:16

worth it . As always

30:18

, I hope that you received some value from this

30:20

conversation . Please feel free to drop me a

30:22

message via our website , www

30:26

stepping into meaningful relationshipscom , and

30:29

share your thoughts , your feedback

30:32

and your questions . I would absolutely

30:34

love to hear from you , and

30:37

if you're enjoying the podcast or you

30:39

have a topic that you would like for me to discuss

30:41

on a future episode , feel free

30:43

to also drop me a note or leave me a

30:45

voice message on the website . I

30:48

again love to hear from you Until

30:51

next week . Everyone be well . If

30:53

you're hearing this message , that means

30:55

you've listened all the way to the end , and

30:58

for that I am truly grateful . If

31:00

you enjoyed this episode and found it valuable , would

31:02

you mind leaving us a review ? Wherever you listen to podcasts

31:05

and sharing it with others ? If

31:07

you'd like to connect with me for one-on-one coaching or

31:09

human design reading , you can find me on my

31:11

website or on social media . Also

31:14

, if you have a topic you'd like me to discuss on a future

31:16

episode , please DM me . Be

31:19

sure to tune in next week for another episode of

31:21

Stepping into Meaningful Relationships .