0:00

Okay, here we go, let's do this. What was that? Why

0:02

is there a feather in my pocket? Is

0:04

that good luck or bad luck? I'm

0:07

just gonna tell myself it's good luck because

0:09

I don't want to stress myself out. Hi

0:12

friends, this week we're doing another episode

0:14

of What Would Leo Do? Let's

0:16

just jump right into this. I'm excited. And

0:18

there is one question I was about to start

0:20

with, but it's a little too intense

0:23

for like the beginning of the episode. So I'm

0:25

gonna pick something a little not

0:27

as harsh because you're not gonna

0:29

like what I have to say.

0:31

So let's start with this one. The first situation, one

0:33

of you guys wrote in, someone said, what do

0:35

you do when someone ghosts you? Do you

0:37

keep them on your socials? I've been debating

0:40

removing the person from my socials, but I feel

0:42

as though that would give the other person

0:44

the win.

0:45

Block the fuck out of them like they never

0:48

existed. Literally

0:50

when someone ghosts you or leaves

0:52

your life, make it easy.

0:55

Erase any trace of them. Just control,

0:57

alt, delete. Get that bitch out

0:59

of your life. That's what I would personally

1:01

do. Because when someone ghosts you,

1:04

clearly you ain't got no balls because people ghost

1:06

when they're scared of conflict. And honestly,

1:08

they're probably not looking at anything

1:10

you're gonna do as a message. So

1:14

my petty ass would just block them on everything

1:16

like I don't exist. You

1:18

wanted to play a little ghosting game. I'll play

1:20

it better. You'll never be able to find me again. Ha!

1:23

All right, the next situation took me

1:26

on a ride. This one stressed me out. This

1:28

person said, my brother was engaged

1:30

to someone and they always got into fights. This

1:32

led to an explosive fight where they decided

1:34

to take a couple days away from each other. My

1:37

brother came home to stay with me while his

1:39

fiance stayed at their house they have

1:41

together. While my brother was at

1:43

home looking for couples therapists

1:45

to help work through their differences, his

1:47

fiance downloaded Grindr and

1:50

hooked up with another man. Now my brother

1:52

is considering getting back together

1:53

with him, but my family will never forgive

1:56

or accept his fiance ever again. Should

1:58

my brother get back together?

1:59

with him. Do

2:02

you even gotta ask me? Girl,

2:04

no. You wouldn't catch me asking for no

2:06

kind of advice in a situation like

2:08

this. I would be asking for an attorney's phone number

2:11

because I would drive my car through the house.

2:14

But that's what old Leo would do. Me now

2:17

I'd handle it different cause I have too much to lose.

2:19

I can't be crazy like I used to, but

2:22

your brother should have absolutely no even

2:25

consideration of

2:27

getting back with this dude. Cause you got

2:29

in a fight and he went and fucked somebody

2:31

new.

2:32

That is why I like despise

2:34

the gay community so much is how many things

2:37

are normalized in it. Like open relationships,

2:39

fucking freely hookups that like you

2:41

meet someone for five minutes online. Then you're having sex

2:44

five minutes later. I don't like that. That's

2:46

not normal

2:47

to me. In my opinion. Let

2:50

me just throw in my opinion. Cause everybody's going

2:52

to get fucking mad. Cry.

2:54

I don't like the slutty shit. I don't

2:56

like the whole, get mad, get into a fight

2:58

and go hook up with somebody. What the hell?

3:01

What the literal fuck.

3:03

But on a real note, if you're in a relationship

3:05

with someone and you get into an

3:07

argument or you get into a fight and they take

3:09

it upon themselves to step out on a relationship

3:12

or do anything that would hurt you or jeopardize

3:15

your relationship with them, there is

3:17

no getting

3:18

trust back in the relationship because

3:21

every single time you get upset

3:24

or they get mad at you,

3:25

you're going to have that fear. They're going to go fuck

3:27

somebody else. Cause now they have proof that

3:29

they'll do it. It's like, it's one thing

3:32

when you're just overthinking it and you're thinking about

3:34

it. But when this person actually steps out on you like

3:36

that in the middle of an altercation, there

3:38

is no safety ever to

3:40

be had in that relationship. And I make

3:43

very harsh claims like ever because

3:45

this is damage that cannot be undone. And

3:48

this is damage that scars you for

3:50

the rest of your entire relationship

3:52

with this person. You're never going to feel

3:54

safe again. You're going to be walking on eggshells

3:57

every single time you get into an argument with your

3:59

partner. Because are they gonna go fuck somebody

4:01

else? Are they gonna step out? What are they

4:03

gonna do? If that's his first go-to, you

4:06

shouldn't fucking be engaged from anyway. Fiance,

4:08

I'm glad you ain't married yet. Throw that fucking

4:10

ring in the trash.

4:12

I was about to say, and hit him with the car. But that's

4:14

what old Leo would do. Walk

4:17

the literal fuck away.

4:18

I'm someone that's so old-fashioned

4:20

in my beliefs and loyalty in how

4:22

I am that if I get into a fight

4:25

with someone and I'm dating someone and we break up,

4:27

I'm not hooking up with nobody for at least 30

4:30

days. At minimum.

4:33

30 days. I will not talk to, entertain,

4:35

kiss, make out, hook up with, or

4:37

entertain anyone. Just in

4:40

case we get back together. Like,

4:42

I'm not gonna ruin that. So, this

4:45

is a very, like, cut and dry situation.

4:48

And your brother's gonna be sad and like, it's

4:50

gonna fuck him up. And this just did fuck

4:52

him up because now any person he

4:54

dates in the future, whenever they

4:56

get mad or get into a fight, his brain

4:59

is immediately gonna resort back to this situation.

5:01

Last time we got into a fight, my

5:04

entire relationship was thrown away.

5:06

My entire life as I knew it was wiped

5:08

out and it's gonna impact him for all future

5:11

relationships. If make him watch this episode

5:13

and tell him, this situation has just

5:15

impacted you for all future relationships.

5:18

Do not let it impact you twice on

5:20

this one. This one's done. It's over with.

5:22

The guy that fucking cheated on you like that, that's

5:25

someone, oh my God, there's so much to

5:27

break down when someone just steps out like that.

5:30

I don't care what you wanna call it. I don't care how mad

5:32

you are. That's the most disrespectful

5:35

fucking inconsiderate shit. And

5:37

I have

5:39

to watch what I say now because I have a big platform.

5:44

This is why assault should be legal. There should

5:46

be certain circumstances where standing

5:48

somebody up and pummeling their ass

5:50

is legal. If you fuck me over

5:53

with something like this, it should be 100% legal

5:56

to sign a fucking waiver. You gotta get

5:58

in the ring with somebody and just...

5:59

Just go at it until I feel better

6:02

and no charges can be pressed. I would

6:04

love that this is unacceptable behavior

6:07

and my opinion so

6:10

Leo would leave and never look back. So

6:12

tell him that oh

6:14

My god. Okay next situation. This girl

6:16

said I talked to a dude for about four

6:18

months But he always mentioned his ex and

6:20

he would always have to be the good guy and

6:23

this was a red flag to me I don't know. Am I crazy?

6:26

No if anyone in your

6:28

life That you meet friend

6:30

relationship anything if someone cannot

6:32

take accountability for absolutely

6:34

anything Red flag bitch red

6:37

flag if he's just painting it out like he's

6:39

this perfect person and he

6:42

did absolutely nothing wrong

6:44

Everybody knows Something

6:47

they did wrong or could have done better

6:50

in a situation whether it's friend relationship

6:52

anything So if you can't even own up

6:54

to the fact of potential things you contributed

6:57

to That's not a good sign.

6:59

That's somebody that needs to justify

7:02

Everything that happened by pointing the finger The

7:05

finger needs to be pointed both ways everybody

7:07

needs to be able to take accountability And if someone

7:09

doesn't display the ability to

7:11

take accountability for anything, they

7:14

won't take it with you So anything that happens

7:16

between you two they're gonna flip it and make

7:18

you the bad guy and run their mouth and talk

7:20

shit No red flag. You're

7:22

not crazy Okay, the next situation

7:24

is the one that I avoided in the beginning But

7:27

someone wrote in and said I might be pregnant

7:30

with my ex's baby He treated

7:32

me horribly and I just got out

7:34

of the relationship. What would Leo do?

7:40

I would go to the clinic And

7:43

before everybody attacks the fuck out of me

7:46

shut up This is what Leo would do

7:48

not what Betty Boop watching Leo would do

7:50

Don't run at me and try and correct

7:53

me. You're wrong. I would take it upon

7:55

myself to not

7:58

Choose the consequences

7:59

of carrying this baby if you

8:02

actually are pregnant

8:04

because it is gonna do nothing but tie

8:06

you to this person for the rest

8:08

of your life. I would not want that kind

8:10

of attachment one but two

8:13

I don't wanna share the genes with somebody

8:15

like that if they did you like

8:18

that dirty and I know

8:20

a lot of people don't like that like I don't wanna say

8:22

the A word because YouTube

8:25

is gonna fucking delete me again or

8:28

people are gonna like freak out I don't care like this

8:30

is a situation I would wholeheartedly like

8:34

appointment immediately like I would not

8:36

go through with the pregnancy

8:39

at all like if this is why I

8:41

was not a girl God

8:43

knew better with my ass they were like we'll just make

8:45

him big and gay but that really is a big

8:47

decision to go and carry this

8:50

baby that belongs to your piece of shit ex

8:52

and like it's not too late to get

8:54

out of it

8:55

if you do decide to carry the baby you

8:59

better than me but I

9:01

just want you to know that someone sides

9:03

with you even if they won't say

9:05

it and I'm gonna get a lot of backlash for saying

9:07

this but I know you're carrying a lot of guilt because

9:09

I know you're considering it because you wrote a little bit more

9:12

do not feel bad about it if you want to cut

9:15

all ties do it I personally

9:17

would not even consider carrying

9:19

it the term and having this baby

9:21

that's what Leo would do oh

9:23

that one's gonna get me in trouble I know it

9:26

but it's the truth bitch it's the truth so

9:29

if no one will be honest with you and tell you I will love

9:32

you all right the next person

9:34

said how do I get over the fear of

9:36

starting something new and failing

9:39

so I used to have this same fear but

9:42

I beat that out of me and the way that I kind of

9:44

did it was looking at the perspective of what's really

9:46

going on so you standing where

9:48

you are right now not trying what

9:50

it is that you want to try is

9:52

the exact same position you'd be in if you

9:55

tried it and failed it's the exact same

9:57

position so if you

9:59

don't take a step and try it.

10:01

You already are in the same position as

10:03

if you were to try it and fail. There is no

10:05

like go further back from where you are, but

10:08

I want to enlighten you on if you

10:10

try this and you do fail,

10:13

that's not actually the same position. That's a better

10:15

position to be in because what you just learned

10:18

from that failure, what you just learned

10:20

from going through all that is so

10:23

much more leverage than you realize.

10:25

So even if you try something and don't get the desired

10:27

outcome and you look at it as a failure, you

10:30

just learned so much more than you even

10:32

realize and there's so much character development

10:34

in that and it's going to kind of take that

10:37

fear away of failing because it's

10:39

scary as fuck when you're standing here trying

10:41

to convince yourself to do something with the potential

10:43

of failing. When you try it and fail,

10:46

you're going to realize it's not actually as bad as you think.

10:49

So if you do actually fail, I've failed at

10:51

plenty of shit that I've tried. If you actually

10:53

do fail,

10:55

you're going to realize it's not as bad as you think and you're

10:57

not going to have this fear anymore. But

10:59

the only way to get over that fear is get

11:01

over that first bridge of trying something. So go

11:03

try it. If you do fail, so

11:06

fucking be it. But staying

11:08

stuck and never trying

11:10

something, I personally don't like to live

11:12

with regret. I'd rather look back on

11:14

my life and say, oh well, than

11:17

be looking back on my life and saying, oh, what

11:19

if like, what if I had tried that? What would

11:21

life be like? That would run me stupid.

11:24

I'd rather be like, oh well, I tried it. I learned whatever

11:26

and move forward. I don't want to ever live with regret.

11:29

So fuck it. Do it. You

11:30

got it.

11:32

All right. The next person asks how to give advice to

11:34

other people who aren't aware.

11:36

And with this one,

11:37

I would not offer advice unless

11:40

someone is asking for it. Because if someone

11:42

is asking for advice, they're more receptive

11:45

to it and their brain is open to

11:47

a new possibility or advice or

11:49

guidance. If someone is not asking

11:51

for advice, don't fucking give them advice.

11:54

But what I like to do is

11:56

share a new perspective. That's why my podcast

11:59

is very helpful to a lot of people. of people because you

12:01

can just watch it. You can just listen to

12:03

it. You don't have to implement any new action

12:05

into your life. You don't have to do anything. I

12:08

just change your mindset by sharing

12:10

so many new outlooks and perspectives

12:13

on certain situations and on life in general

12:15

that it just flips you

12:18

and you can't help but not be more

12:20

aware because you now understand

12:22

things at a way deeper level. So I'd

12:24

say share new perspectives

12:26

they maybe aren't seeing but don't give advice

12:29

because if someone is not asking for advice and you

12:31

try and give it they're going to be annoyed. They're

12:33

not open to hearing it. They're not receptive to

12:35

it so don't just go around offering advice

12:37

and especially to someone that you perceive

12:40

as not aware.

12:41

Just share new perspectives trust me because

12:43

the advice is probably going to turn into a fight or

12:46

they're

12:46

going to fight you on it. It's just going to be a shit show

12:49

so just offer new perspectives or shut up. Let

12:51

them learn on their own. That's what I have to do a lot.

12:53

Like some people you just have to trust them

12:55

with their own life. You a dumbass

12:57

right now but you gonna have to go experience some shit

13:00

and then you'll figure it out. Like you just got to put people's

13:02

life into their own hands. All right

13:04

next person said how to be body confident

13:07

and learn to love myself and my own skin.

13:09

I actually have a full podcast episode about

13:12

body image and how to accept your body and stop

13:14

hating your body. It's episode 58. It's

13:17

called how to stop hating your body. It's on YouTube,

13:19

Apple Podcasts, Spotify, everything. Everywhere

13:21

you can listen to shit it's there but if you want to watch

13:23

it it's on YouTube. Well that will help you a ton

13:26

with that. I'll link it in the description but

13:28

it's a whole 30-minute episode that will do it way

13:30

more justice than if I try and spit some shit out

13:32

right now. Go watch that.

13:34

Next situation someone said how do

13:36

you deal with toxic family and having to

13:38

live with them? Funny

13:41

choice of words. You said having to live

13:43

with them. Watch what you speak over yourself

13:45

because you do not have to live with

13:47

them.

13:48

You're not forced into it. You're choosing

13:50

to live with them and I want to just open

13:53

you up to that for a second.

13:55

You feel like you have to

13:57

live with toxic family. That

13:59

does not

13:59

feel good. So understand

14:02

you're choosing it because you could take

14:04

on the consequences of leaving

14:07

and taking on all the financial stress and trying to

14:09

figure it out and move and leave and be on

14:11

your own. That's a whole set of consequences

14:13

you just are not choosing. You're choosing

14:16

to stay at home, live with your family, but

14:18

you're choosing the consequence of dealing with them if they're

14:20

toxic and they treat you bad. But I think the

14:22

best thing you can do about dealing with

14:24

toxic family that you can't kind of escape

14:27

or you feel like you have to live with is

14:29

look at each person individually

14:31

with the attitude of trying to understand them

14:34

and everything that they do. Why

14:36

do they do certain shit? Why do they say

14:38

certain shit? What are they getting out of it? Just

14:40

try to understand them as best you can

14:43

because as soon as you understand people you

14:45

can't judge them as hard and a

14:47

lot of their actions will make a lot more sense

14:49

once you try to understand them instead of just saying

14:52

oh you're toxic you're stupid you're mean

14:54

whatever it is. Try to understand

14:56

why they do and say certain shit

14:59

and also understand

15:01

everything you feel they feel. They're a human being

15:03

too and when you're very close with people especially

15:06

family you kind of forget that

15:08

we all have the same needs like emotional

15:10

needs as a human being like your parents

15:13

want comfort too. Your family wants comfort.

15:15

Your family feels sad. Your family gets upset

15:18

even if you have that one relative who's just a fucking

15:20

prick and is just mean all the time.

15:23

They're

15:23

neglected as hell.

15:24

They have things that they want too. They have

15:27

needs that are not being met. They get sad.

15:30

They get down. They care about things. They

15:32

like your presence too. That's another

15:35

thing is a lot of people forget that

15:37

even though someone might be a little mean

15:39

to you that you're living with

15:41

they enjoy your presence. So

15:44

understand your meeting needs for them and try

15:46

to understand everything you can about

15:48

their behavior and the way that they think and what they

15:50

do and just by opening

15:53

up to trying to understand them it

15:55

will help you drop a lot of judgment and resentment

15:58

toward them and then when that kind

16:00

of drops from your end, they're gonna

16:02

interact with you a lot different and things will

16:04

seem less toxic. So try that out

16:06

and see how it works.

16:08

Okay, the next thing is something that I've dealt with personally

16:10

many a time and I'm sick of it.

16:13

Someone said how to deal with the crush on a

16:15

close friend.

16:17

So

16:19

when I was in high school, there was this girl,

16:21

funny. There was this girl

16:24

that I was very, very close friends with

16:26

and my sister had to check me one time and

16:28

I'm gonna give you the advice she gave me. I

16:31

was very close with this girl and we were like best

16:33

friends. We spent time together all the time.

16:35

She had a boyfriend and then they broke up and

16:38

spending so much time with her and

16:40

appreciating her company and caring about her,

16:43

I thought I liked her and

16:45

I thought I actually had a crush on her and wanted

16:48

to be with her. And my sister asked

16:50

me like, do you wanna be with her or

16:52

do you just like being around her? Like,

16:54

do you just enjoy the friendship and appreciate

16:57

the friendship? You don't have to take it to

16:59

a relationship. You can just, this was my straight

17:01

era. My sister was like,

17:03

do you think you like her or

17:05

do you like her like her? You've been spending

17:07

a lot of time together. You're very close. That's

17:10

okay but get clear on like,

17:12

do

17:12

you actually want this person and like

17:14

this person or are you just very appreciative

17:17

of your time and your bond with them? Now

17:19

I have a little advice of my own from what

17:22

I'm going through right now and have been going

17:24

through the past few months. I'm friends with a lot

17:26

of straight people and

17:28

I have a crush on a couple of my straight

17:30

friends

17:31

but there's nothing ever

17:33

gonna come of that. Like I'm

17:36

gay, they're straight.

17:38

It doesn't matter how much I like them. I'm

17:40

not what they like. I'm not what they prefer.

17:43

Yes, they care about me. Yes, they love

17:45

me but they're not into me sexually

17:47

and there's nothing ever gonna come

17:50

of a relationship or anything further than a

17:52

friendship but

17:54

I weirdly, sickly love

17:57

having a crush on somebody. Like you're

17:59

safe.

17:59

to just like them as much as

18:02

you want without it

18:04

going anywhere. Like the fact that they're straight

18:06

makes me feel safe to have a crush on them because

18:09

I just get to admire them and hang out with them and enjoy

18:11

them and have a little crush and like be

18:13

obsessed with them within

18:15

limits. Like I know it's not gonna go anywhere so

18:17

I feel safe to just like whatever but

18:19

I do have a crush on a couple of straight people

18:22

and it's fun. Like I love

18:25

having a crush because I'm so not

18:27

fucking impressed by anybody.

18:30

Chronically unimpressed. Hi, here

18:32

I am. So when I do

18:34

finally find someone that I do have a crush on I

18:37

enjoy it. I enjoy having

18:39

someone I admire and having someone

18:41

that I just like being around and someone I'm just

18:43

like infatuated with. Like I

18:45

love that. I love having a crush

18:48

so let yourself just enjoy

18:50

having that. Even if nothing's gonna come from

18:52

it you can still enjoy

18:54

the moment and enjoy the experience of

18:57

having a crush

18:59

because it's gonna die. You're

19:02

either gonna get an ick or something's gonna happen

19:04

where you just no longer have that crush so enjoy

19:06

it while you got it. There's this video going around

19:09

recently on social media where I forget

19:11

the exact words but it's like you

19:13

think you have a crush on someone but

19:15

really it's just a lack of knowledge and information

19:18

about them. Something along the lines of that but

19:20

that's the truest shit in the world. You think you got

19:22

a crush on somebody so you get to know them.

19:24

Till you get to know them and you learn more about them and you're

19:26

like never mind. That

19:29

happens to me a lot and a couple of crushes

19:31

that I've had on my little straight friends like I've gone away very

19:33

quick once I get to know them because I'm like ew. Like

19:37

I love you as a friend but I don't got a crush on you no

19:39

more you know. But Leo would just enjoy

19:41

having the crush like just have it but also check

19:44

is this someone that you actually want to be with or

19:46

do you just think that you want them

19:48

because you're such good friends with them.

19:50

Play with that.

19:59

your goals but also drinking. So

20:04

if you

20:05

are not gonna stop drinking I

20:07

will tell you how I drink and

20:09

not gain weight. Don't nobody

20:12

come at me with no you just eating just the

20:14

order. This is promoting bad health.

20:16

Shut the fuck up. Alright if you're

20:19

not gonna quit but you have a goal

20:21

I'm gonna help you get there. I got you. So

20:24

the biggest thing to get about alcohol if you still

20:26

want to drink but also lose weight. Each

20:29

shot of alcohol is around a hundred

20:31

calories. So you need to budget that

20:34

into

20:35

what you're doing okay. So what

20:37

I do when I know I'm gonna drink on a certain

20:39

day like a Friday or a Saturday that

20:42

day

20:42

at the gym when I go to the gym I

20:45

like to have around like five to

20:48

six shots. I don't like to get drunk

20:50

no more. I

20:51

don't it makes me uncomfortable being in public because

20:53

I get recognized and when I have people

20:55

come up to me I want to be able to like hold it together and

20:58

like remember the experience because I love when you guys

21:00

come up to me. So I don't get drunk drunk

21:02

in public anymore but I'll have like five six shots

21:04

or like five six drinks. Keep it cutesy.

21:07

But with that that's around five

21:09

to six hundred calories of alcohol

21:12

I'm gonna be consuming. There's no other

21:14

macro in it. So when

21:16

I'm eating throughout the day I will

21:18

either eat 500 less

21:20

calories of carbs and bullshit I'm still

21:23

getting my protein in or I will do 500

21:26

calories of extra cardio on the treadmill

21:28

after my workout because you want

21:30

to be in the deficit. So let's

21:32

say your maintenance or like your calories that

21:34

you can eat to still lose a little bit of weight

21:37

is like 2,000 calories a day. Let's do that math

21:39

to keep it simple. If you know 500 calories

21:42

are gonna be to alcohol if you eat the

21:44

same and then you drink that's 2,500 calories

21:47

you've just consumed. So dial

21:49

that shit back

21:50

eat 1,500 and then drink

21:53

or eat 2,000 do 500 of

21:56

cardio and then drink that'll even you

21:58

back out to 2,000 and you'll be

21:59

a your maintenance or like whatever your goal

22:02

calories are to lose weight.

22:04

But that's something I do every single time I drink

22:06

because I don't want to fuck up my fitness goals. Like yeah

22:09

I want to have fun yeah I want to party. I don't want

22:11

to get fat though.

22:13

But back in my day when I was partying a lot

22:15

and trying to like escape my reality

22:19

I was drinking around 10 shots

22:22

to pregame. So that's a thousand

22:24

calories. So I used to eat 500 less

22:27

calories on the days I was gonna drink plus

22:29

do 500 calories of cardio so

22:31

I could get my thousand calories of liquor.

22:33

I know but I'm not promoting it I'm just telling you what I

22:35

did. Shut up. I'm not giving you advice on this one.

22:38

But that's how I was able to drink a lot and

22:40

how I'm still able to drink and

22:42

not have it impact my fitness goals. I don't

22:44

do it often like I don't drink that often. Once

22:47

a week max every other week I'll drink

22:49

whatever but that's

22:52

the biggest thing I keep in mind is like how much I'm

22:54

consuming and I have a whole podcast episode

22:56

about alcohol and that one's episode 35

22:59

on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. It's only in the

23:01

audio version sorry. But I have a

23:03

lot of tips and tricks in there about how I drink

23:06

and like all the little like hacks that I have but

23:08

this is the biggest one if your concern is losing

23:10

weight and still wanting to drink. So

23:13

if you are in a place where you do not

23:15

want to stop drinking or you feel like you can't stop

23:17

drinking you're addicted whatever it is if

23:19

you still want to lose weight you can

23:22

just play it smart. But

23:24

understand when you drink

23:26

you usually burn more calories because I

23:28

go out dancing I go out doing shit so

23:31

I burn a little bit more so just

23:34

keep that in mind. You can play around with it

23:36

but just understand every drink

23:38

or every shot

23:40

is around 100 calories of just alcohol.

23:42

So don't get no fucking mixers don't

23:44

get no sugary shit because it's just gonna

23:47

make the calorie count go up. Stick

23:49

with diet sodas, diet everything,

23:52

no tonic water. Tonic water has sugar

23:54

and calories for people that didn't know. I talked

23:56

about it in my alcohol episode I was fucking traumatized

23:58

when I found out.

23:59

I thought because it just tastes like shit it was skinny.

24:02

I thought it was like club soda No club

24:04

soda is fine. You can have that no tonic water But

24:06

just keep this whole little tidbit around the calorie thing

24:08

in mind so you

24:11

can hopefully lose some weight and

24:12

Still get to drink if you're not gonna

24:15

stop

24:15

and you got enough people down your throat

24:18

about don't drink. It's bad It's

24:20

this it's that like everybody just says

24:22

don't do it Nobody will tell you how

24:25

to do it and still achieve goals. I'll

24:27

fucking tell you the truth I give you practical

24:30

advice because sometimes you can't stop

24:32

certain shit or you don't want to stop like I

24:34

didn't want to stop back then But I thought goodbye

24:36

a hat and I figured it out and I was still

24:38

in good shape and I was blacking out every weekend

24:41

Like I fully get the frustrations

24:43

That's why I'm always gonna be honest with you guys if I have

24:45

a hack or a secret I'll tell you of course.

24:48

We all fucking know drinking is not good and you

24:50

shouldn't drink that often

24:53

But like I said, I still got you. This is unconditional

24:55

love Okay, if you want to know like even

24:58

if you're still gonna do the bad thing I'm still trying to help you a

25:00

little bit,

25:01

you know, be safe though. Love you Alright

25:04

next person asked I'm very quick

25:06

to get angry and I don't know why what

25:09

do you do when you get mad?

25:12

So the way that I deal with anger is you

25:14

got to understand anger is a cover

25:17

emotion for Powerlessness

25:20

because if you look at the vibrational

25:22

scale of the emotions Powerlessness

25:24

is a lower vibration than anger. So if

25:26

something happens that's out of your control For

25:29

you to just sit in a place of powerlessness That's

25:32

not normal and that's a lower state to sit

25:34

in so your brain and your

25:36

emotional body is immediately gonna kick you up to

25:38

anger if it can because Anger

25:41

is a boost of energy

25:42

and

25:42

Will help you take control

25:45

and take charge. I get excited when I get

25:47

angry because I'm like, alright, let's face this

25:49

shit Let's handle this shit because sitting around

25:51

and being depressed and being all oh There's nothing I

25:53

can do wings like all powerless and sad.

25:56

It's not fun. So be happy

25:58

that you feel angry use the energy

25:59

that comes with it. Use the anger

26:02

to charge you because you can't feel

26:04

tired and be pissed off. So it

26:06

charges you with a little bit of energy. So focus

26:09

that energy on what you

26:11

can do and the way that I find out what to do

26:13

or what to put it into is like

26:15

I said anger is the cover emotion to

26:18

powerlessness. Look at okay

26:20

I'm I know that I'm pissed off and I'm angry right

26:22

now what am I angry about what

26:24

do I feel powerless to and what am

26:26

I actually upset about like what

26:29

is hurting me in this situation.

26:31

Get very clear

26:32

on what it is that's actually

26:35

bothering you like acknowledge the anger okay

26:37

I feel angry what's under it what

26:39

is this covering what am I hurt by

26:42

figure out what that is and

26:45

then you know what to do you

26:47

know what to change you know where to put your energy

26:49

you know where to like put that angry effort. It'll

26:51

make you aware of how to actually fix a situation

26:53

and see what's truly bothering you because just

26:56

thinking that you're pissed off all the time mm-hmm it's

26:58

a messenger it's something below it you

27:00

just have to understand when you're angry

27:03

and check in and be like okay what's actually

27:05

bothering me that's how I deal with anger. Alright

27:08

next person said how to take everything

27:10

I'm already doing to the next level.

27:13

So this is a mistake that I made a long

27:15

time ago when I was trying

27:17

to take everything I was doing to the next

27:19

level I kept thinking I had

27:21

to do new shit I kept thinking I had

27:24

to innovate and change and improve and make

27:26

everything better to get

27:28

to my next level. No

27:30

you need to maximize what

27:32

you're currently doing if it's working

27:35

even a little bit whatever is working

27:37

and whatever is getting you progress

27:40

and results

27:41

perfect it put more energy

27:44

into doing what you're already doing

27:46

ten times better don't immediately

27:48

jump and flip and start doing something new

27:51

if you have results from something you're

27:53

doing do more of it make it better

27:55

make it more efficient dump more into

27:57

what you're currently doing that you're seeing results from

28:00

and that will naturally push you to the next

28:02

level. Sometimes you do need to change

28:04

shit, but stay consistent

28:07

with things. So whenever I have

28:09

an idea to change something, I'm like, okay, I'm

28:11

gonna do what I've been doing for the next like

28:13

two weeks, 30 days, whatever it is. If

28:16

it's a really good idea and I wanna change it, I'll change it.

28:18

But I try to commit to at least 30 days of doing what

28:20

I'm currently doing just better and

28:23

seeing where it takes me. If I still at the

28:25

end want to change it, I'll change

28:27

it. But you need to make sure you exhaust

28:30

everything that's gotten your results already

28:32

before you start fucking it up, because you might make

28:34

the wrong change. So if you wanna

28:37

take everything you're already doing to the next

28:39

level,

28:40

look for ways to do what you're doing

28:42

just better.

28:43

All right, this next situation hits a little close

28:45

to home. It's giving me a little PTSD

28:48

and I don't like it. So this girl says, my

28:51

ex wants me to go to court and

28:53

remove the restraining order against him

28:55

that was placed by the judge. Keeping the

28:57

restraining order the last few months has just

29:00

been so I would feel protective. I

29:02

don't think he's a threat anymore and

29:04

I think he'll stay far away from me

29:07

at this point. I feel like part

29:09

of me resents him for everything he put me through.

29:11

So I don't want to remove it for that reason. I

29:14

know it can affect him and he wants me to remove

29:16

it, but he's making me feel like a bad person for

29:18

not wanting to help him out.

29:21

Oh,

29:22

so he's like flipping it and guilting you and

29:24

shaming you because he's now experiencing

29:26

consequences because of the restraining

29:29

order for what he did to you.

29:31

Leo personally

29:33

learned if someone's doing

29:35

something to you and it ends up in court

29:38

and there's legal action taken, when

29:40

you have to put your foot on someone's

29:42

neck, do not let it up.

29:45

Oh my God, I'm getting triggered from my fucking

29:47

past. Do not be the bigger person.

29:50

Do not be sweet. Do not show

29:52

no motherfucker mercy who didn't

29:54

show it to you. If you had to take it to the point

29:57

to get a fucking restraining order,

29:59

I don't give a fuck. Fuck what his

30:01

consequences are

30:02

Let him deal with them. You did what you did.

30:05

You made your fucking bed not laying

30:07

it You're never gonna get a gun You're gonna

30:09

have trouble getting hired places because you have a restraining

30:12

order against you have fun with that you

30:14

crazy prick babe Just trust

30:16

me

30:17

Do not remove this restraining

30:19

order if you do not feel like

30:21

it is 100% your decision Fuck

30:23

him in his little guilt trip Where was his fucking

30:26

compassion for you when you needed to

30:28

get the restraining order from whatever he was doing?

30:30

He never showed you compassion do not

30:33

feel obligated to show it to him to

30:35

remove it. You said that you're both 20

30:39

But I like I Really

30:42

want to say if you have to put your foot on

30:44

someone's neck do not let it up. I

30:46

will never ever Make

30:49

that mistake again in my life. If you take

30:51

me to the point. I gotta put my foot on

30:53

your neck It's not coming off. Don't

30:56

put me in that position. I literally

30:58

beg people Please do not

31:00

push me to the point where I hate you

31:02

because there's no coming back from it You will

31:05

lose all access to my heart

31:07

to the part of me that cares to the part of me that is

31:09

kind to the part Of me that has compassion that

31:12

person dies. You will never see that

31:14

side of me again You will only see the cold

31:16

and ruthless side of me and I don't go

31:19

back

31:19

on that I learned you never should

31:21

you never should show mercy

31:23

to someone who didn't show it to you

31:26

I'm getting emotionally charged with this one cuz it like

31:29

I don't know your exact situation Just

31:32

make sure if you're gonna remove this restraining order

31:36

It's for you

31:37

and not for him. You don't owe him a fuck

31:40

thing You do not owe him a

31:42

fuck thing and I know you're both 20 and

31:45

you're saying it's gonna get in the way with his career I

31:47

get it

31:48

but

31:50

Your safety is number one.

31:51

You're gonna do what you want. I Personally

31:54

would not take it off,

31:55

but I don't know your situation to give you an accurate

31:58

like

31:58

judgment if it was some stupid fucking

32:00

shit girl let it go but if

32:03

you have any any inkling

32:05

of fear around him doing

32:08

something to you or harassing you or

32:10

attacking you leave

32:12

that shit set it in stone and

32:14

do not let it up but I really just wanted to say

32:16

the things that I just said to give you relief

32:18

because I know he's putting you through a guilt trip from

32:20

hell but you are the one in control

32:23

and you are the one that has the power something

32:26

you need to start realizing is

32:28

you need to see how people behave when

32:30

the power is in their hands do

32:33

they show you mercy are they considerate are they

32:35

compassionate do they abuse that

32:37

power

32:38

you need to study it and

32:40

you need to stay strong when other people have the power

32:43

and take fucking notes because when it flips

32:45

and you get the power you

32:47

do not get to feel bad about

32:50

shit if you do the same thing to

32:53

them so be it if you do worse

32:56

I'm mad at you but that's

32:58

one thing I always do is I watch

33:00

how someone behaves when they have the power and

33:02

then I do the exact same thing when it's in my

33:04

hands and I hope you can fucking handle it I

33:07

hope you can handle what you just did to me because

33:09

now the powers in my hand and you have the power

33:11

right now so just be safe be careful

33:14

if you have any resistance or hesitation or

33:16

thought or like worry fear

33:18

anything don't drop it don't drop

33:20

it because getting it back on him is gonna be hard as fuck

33:23

once you drop a restraining order getting a new

33:25

one very very tough so really

33:27

think this through

33:29

but now you know my opinion all

33:32

right the next person said how do you stop seeing

33:34

the good and bad people I'm

33:37

gonna tell you don't try to stop

33:39

seeing the good in people

33:41

don't ever try to stop seeing the good in people I

33:44

don't care who it is like you need to see the good

33:46

but what you need to do is stop

33:49

being blind to the bad you're

33:51

allowed to look at the good but if someone's

33:53

a piece of shit or they're doing something to hurt

33:55

you or they're a bad person acknowledge

33:58

the bad too don't Just

34:00

look at the good. That's your problem. You're

34:02

looking at it like this is a bad person. Why

34:05

do I only see the good in you? Look at the good.

34:07

Don't discount the bad. Hold space

34:10

for both. Hold space for the good

34:12

and the bad. Get a clear and

34:14

accurate read on whoever it is

34:16

that you're dealing with. See both.

34:19

And make a fucking list if you got to. Pros and cons.

34:21

Good and bad. Write down the good and write down the bad. And

34:23

when that bad goes three pages longer, just

34:25

get a clear, accurate reading on

34:29

the person at hand. But don't ever try and force

34:31

yourself to stop seeing the good in people. That will never

34:33

hurt you. What's hurting you is not

34:35

addressing the bad. So hold space for

34:37

both. And that'll help you make better decisions about

34:40

whatever it is you're going through. Because you didn't give me no details,

34:42

but it's okay.

34:44

I feel like that'll help.

34:46

Alright, our last situation for this episode

34:48

of What Would Leo Do? This girl asks,

34:50

do people actually change? My

34:53

dad kicked me, my mom, and my little brother

34:55

out six months ago. Now

34:57

he's calling my mom because he wants us to go

34:59

back.

35:00

This has happened three times before and

35:02

my dad even abused my mom. So

35:05

he's kicked you out before and then calls you to come right

35:07

back three times. That's a pattern of behavior.

35:11

Let me keep reading though.

35:12

She said that she told her mom not

35:14

to go back, but she's afraid that

35:16

her mom is considering going back. She

35:19

said, I feel like the only reason she hasn't got

35:21

back with him is me. Because I always

35:23

tell her what I think and how I feel about

35:25

it. But I'm going to leave for college soon and

35:27

I'm afraid she's going to go back. And I don't want that for

35:29

her nor my little brother. One thing I need to set

35:32

you free from is if your

35:34

mom is going to go back,

35:36

she's going to have to go back. You

35:39

can't save people. You cannot

35:42

help people if they're going to keep

35:45

doing the same thing. You're

35:47

just going to have to

35:48

let them go through it and let them

35:50

get to their own breaking point. It's very sad

35:53

and it's very hard to watch someone

35:55

you care about be hurt repeatedly,

35:57

but there is nothing. you

36:00

can do to

36:01

prevent her from going back. If that is

36:03

what she wants to do, you're going to be in college.

36:06

You're going to be away. If she needs to go

36:08

get fucked up again and have her life

36:10

destroyed again, that's something she

36:12

has to go learn. She's going to have to

36:14

get to her own breaking point. So I just want

36:16

to set you free from that guilt of feeling

36:18

like there's something you can do. There

36:21

isn't, babe. And I'm so sorry. I've been

36:23

through a similar situation many times

36:26

with you just have to let certain people learn.

36:29

Like it sucks, but people

36:31

just have to learn the hard way sometimes. And it's a pattern

36:33

of behavior and it's happened three times

36:35

before you said, so if she ain't seen it yet,

36:38

she got to go through it a few more times until she finally

36:41

hits her breaking point. But you don't get to leave with

36:43

any guilt from that. Just take what I'm saying on

36:45

that. But

36:47

your dad, let me read into him a little

36:49

bit. So

36:51

he kicks you guys out and

36:53

then calls you and asks you to come back.

36:58

Hmm. So he's dealing with some

37:00

shit, obviously, but the

37:02

whole kicking you out and then calling you to come

37:04

back, your dad is

37:07

most likely convincing himself when

37:10

you guys are there, whatever he's

37:12

dealing with is because of you guys

37:14

and you guys is fault when it's not

37:17

because he kicks you out

37:19

and then he realizes how he actually feels and

37:22

he calls you to come back. He's not calling

37:24

you to come back because he genuinely wants you to come

37:27

back. He's calling you back because

37:29

he's just realized what he's

37:31

dealing with gets worse when

37:34

you guys leave. And then this

37:36

new set of feelings he has with the voids

37:38

of you guys, plus what he's dealing with, he

37:41

can't handle it. So he brings you guys back

37:43

to absolve that void. He's not bringing

37:45

you back because he cares about you and loves you. I'm sorry

37:47

to say it. This is some deep shit with him.

37:50

He's calling you back because he can't handle

37:52

the way that he fucking feels. This whole

37:55

new experience he has when he loses

37:57

you guys, it's too uncomfortable. He needs

37:59

you back for that. of comfort and then

38:01

he feels back in control again of

38:03

whatever he's dealing with and whatever he's

38:06

feeling because as soon as it gets overwhelming

38:08

and he feels like he can't do it he kicks

38:10

you out again he feels like he has control

38:12

okay it's resolved for a minute and then

38:14

the pain of losing you guys comes back so

38:17

he absolves it by bringing you back this

38:19

is a power play this is some very deep

38:22

shit going on with him

38:24

I think it's a good decision

38:26

for you to get the fuck out of there and go to college get away from all

38:28

that but your mom

38:30

is gonna have to learn this one on her own that

38:33

he's not calling her back because he wants

38:35

to be with her he's calling her back

38:38

because he doesn't like how life feels

38:41

without you guys because if you genuinely

38:43

love someone and you care about

38:46

them you're not gonna be abusing them

38:48

and you're not gonna abandon them and throw

38:50

them away

38:53

this might be a little harsh I might also

38:55

be a little wrong but

38:57

I'm not we all

38:59

know that for anyone

39:01

else watching that is wondering do

39:03

people actually change if

39:05

you are dealing with someone

39:08

who has said they've changed

39:10

if you have any hesitation

39:13

about believing that they've changed

39:15

or not they haven't if you have

39:17

to even question it there's

39:20

been no change when someone truly

39:22

changes people can change but when someone

39:24

truly changes you will feel

39:27

it

39:27

how everything feels and

39:29

how they handle everything will be different

39:32

you won't even have to question if they've

39:35

changed does that make sense like

39:37

if you have to even hesitate oh did they actually

39:39

change or not they haven't let me save

39:41

you from that heartbreak they fucking haven't run

39:43

away but I do want to give

39:45

everybody hope people can change

39:47

because I've changed a whole lot I've seen people

39:50

change a lot of people in my

39:52

life that I've had bad relationships with before have

39:54

changed mostly family like family is the only people

39:56

I tolerate like

39:58

fixing shit friends could

40:00

go fuck off, but like my family

40:02

has changed a lot and people

40:05

genuinely do change But when

40:07

they do change, you know,

40:09

you don't even question it.

40:10

So yes people can change Do I

40:12

think your dad has changed? No, and

40:15

especially because this is the fourth time it's happened.

40:17

You said it happened three times This is the fourth. So

40:21

if the pattern seems consistent and

40:23

you see no switch or change in the way

40:25

he's handling things or approaching

40:27

situations and you see no change with the decisions

40:30

that he's making and like

40:31

How he's kind of navigating everything. No,

40:34

he ain't fucking changed and you can expect

40:36

the same outcome

40:37

If you want to be featured on my next episode

40:39

of what would Leo do? I will leave a link in the description

40:42

where you can submit your situation Give

40:44

me a couple details, but not too long because when

40:46

I open it and it's like this fucking long I

40:48

don't like to read those

40:51

But everything is anonymous if you want to write in your situation

40:53

links in the description My social media is also

40:55

gonna be the description if you want to follow me everywhere.

40:58

You should

40:59

Keep up with me. We friends.

41:01

I'll also leave a link to my

41:03

merch and my app positive focus

41:05

A lot of people have been reaching out to me recently about

41:07

the app telling me to promote it more because they like it a lot

41:10

So I'll talk about it again and everybody who

41:12

ordered my tote bags that I dropped on my merch

41:14

line I love when you post pictures of it.

41:17

Always tag me on your Instagram stories I love seeing

41:19

you guys wear shit like it looks cute

41:21

on me. But like when I see it on y'all I'm like damn how

41:23

you styled it like that like making me look bad

41:26

No, but I appreciate you all so much and I

41:28

genuinely get so much joy Out

41:30

of like seeing you guys with the stuff that I've made

41:33

So all the links to everything you need will be in the description

41:36

If you're listening to the audio version of his podcast leave me

41:38

a five-star rating I'm gonna say real quick and fast because

41:40

we know this we fight about this every single week Just

41:42

leave me to five stars if you're on YouTube, leave me a

41:44

comment and leave me a thumbs up Let me know you liked

41:46

it

41:47

and that friends is all I've got for you for this episode.

41:49

So everybody stay safe Be careful,

41:52

and I will talk to you guys next Sunday