2:00

Instagram had like millions of

2:02

views. My following doubled. It was probably one of

2:04

the biggest social media moments I've ever had. And

2:06

it was just a very simple reel of me,

2:09

I think I was like drinking coffee or

2:11

something. And I listed on the screen the

2:13

goals that I reached in 2022. And

2:17

there were some dope things on there. Like I'm

2:19

still very proud of my 2022 self.

2:21

I set a goal to read 30 books and I

2:23

ended up reading 42, I

2:25

believe just over 40. I believe it was

2:27

42 books. I doubled

2:30

my business revenue from 2021 to 2022. And my podcast

2:35

grew so much in 2022. From

2:37

the year before, I think we

2:39

had like 5x listenership growth,

2:41

which was like a ridiculous

2:43

amount of growth to get in

2:46

just one year, like kind of

2:48

ridiculous. I had paid off my

2:50

student loans. And I know I've talked about that a lot

2:52

on the podcast. This episode is probably the last I'm

2:55

gonna say about it because I know I've talked about it a

2:57

lot. If you're interested in my debt payoff journey, we did another

2:59

episode about it that we'll put in the show notes. But I

3:01

did that in 2022 and I was really proud

3:03

of myself. It took 10 years. It was a lot. So

3:05

the goals that I reached in 2022 was really the

3:10

culmination of all of this work that I

3:12

had been doing for years that

3:14

all kind of came to a head

3:16

and I started to get pay off

3:18

around the same time. So it was

3:20

super sexy and it went viral and

3:22

had all this payoff of like, I

3:24

grew my podcast and I paid this

3:26

debt and I read all these books

3:29

and aren't I cool and aren't I

3:31

smart? I was feeling myself. And

3:33

so as I was going into 2023, I was

3:35

like, well, I can do everything I did

3:37

the year before and then some. So if I read 42 books in

3:40

2022, I should be able to read 50 books in 2023. And

3:46

if I five X my podcast listenership

3:48

that year, I Can five

3:50

exit again. And If I doubled my

3:53

business revenue in 2022, I can double

3:55

it again in 2023. And Let me.

4:00

Are you not a single one

4:02

of those things happened like not

4:04

even close to. Any of those

4:07

goals happened for me this year. I

4:10

have not read anywhere near fifty

4:12

bucks. A at the time and I'm

4:14

recording this I think I'd just hit thirty, saw

4:16

probably finish the year. I

4:19

probably will be read maybe another

4:21

two books. realistically. Maybe thirty two

4:23

bucks finishing the year. That's

4:26

a lot less than fifty. I

4:28

absolutely did not double my revenue

4:30

goal by any means and my

4:32

goal in doing that with so

4:34

that I could go full time

4:36

and I wanted to five x

4:38

my podcast listenership again because I

4:40

really wanted to go full time

4:42

into entrepreneurship and content creation. Yeah.

4:44

I still got my job. I'm

4:46

still clock in in magnifies Revenue

4:49

did not double it a little

4:51

bit but. It barely.

4:53

I mean, it's pretty much the same as it was last

4:55

year, like a tiny bit more, but. My.

4:58

Expenses russell a lot higher self

5:00

not necessarily taking home where profits

5:02

of that didn't happen. So.

5:05

I kind of failed at everything if

5:07

we look at those goals that I

5:10

sat as like the winning metric. I.

5:12

Literally failed at every single one of

5:15

those things. I didn't read my books,

5:17

I didn't make the money, I didn't

5:19

get the podcast growth. I didn't. You

5:21

know? Go become a full time entrepreneur.

5:23

I literally failed at every single one

5:26

of those things. Now.

5:29

With that, I could absolutely

5:31

be screaming, crying, throwing up,

5:33

sliding down while. But

5:35

I actually feel. Really

5:38

good about the fact that I didn't

5:40

reach any of those goals. And for

5:42

a lot of those schools, I'm actually

5:44

really grateful that I didn't reach them.

5:48

Because. Wilde.

5:50

Twenty Twenty Two was great and I

5:52

reach these goals and it looked great

5:54

and it was very sexy. Him. He.

5:57

Was definitely a year of achievements

5:59

like. In Twenty Twenty

6:01

Two. I had my head

6:03

down and I was grinding for a lot

6:06

of that, which is not a bad thing.

6:08

But I didn't necessarily have a

6:11

lot of son. I didn't necessarily

6:13

have a lot of experience as

6:15

I didn't spend much time with

6:17

people who were important to me

6:19

and even when I did I

6:21

was still distracted and I was

6:23

working and I was doing all

6:25

of these days I wasn't very

6:28

present vs. looking at Twenty Twenty

6:30

Three. It was not a year

6:32

of achievement. I didn't achieves as

6:34

much. But. I lived a lot.

6:36

I made so many amazing memories

6:39

this year and had so many

6:41

great experiences of things that I

6:43

got to do the i was

6:45

cherish forever. Some big things like

6:47

my Euro trip was a really

6:50

amazing you know, my own little

6:52

eat, pray love experience as well

6:54

as some little things like I

6:56

got to spend the entire month

6:58

of July at home with my

7:01

family and spent a lot of

7:03

really quality time. With. Them

7:05

and I got you. You know? Go

7:07

on a little trip for some of

7:09

my college girlfriends and spend time with

7:12

them right? Road tripped from a way

7:14

to Vegas with a few friends to

7:16

go see beyond say and I got

7:18

to really spend time being present with

7:20

people in my life. Creating.

7:22

Memories and happy experiences that did take

7:25

me away from having my nose in

7:27

a book every two seconds in the

7:29

way eaten You know would have needed

7:32

to be to read sixty books. No,

7:34

I didn't make as much money this

7:36

year or. Grow the podcast

7:39

as much this year because I ended

7:41

up taking time off like that all

7:43

summer long. I wasn't podcasting at all.

7:45

I was barely post on social media.

7:47

definitely wasn't doing any brand collaboration. So

7:49

yeah about that cut into the growth

7:52

that can into the money. And while

7:54

I experienced more growth the year before,

7:56

I was so burnt out, I was

7:58

saying yes to everything. A. Working

8:00

with brands is something that I'm really grateful

8:02

to do, but anybody who has done it

8:04

knows how challenging it can be is. When

8:06

you have like a nine to five and

8:09

you're working your projects there you have your

8:11

deliverables. We all know how annoying it is

8:13

to have kind of annoying coworkers or an

8:15

annoying boss and. For. Content

8:17

creators who are working with brands. Every single

8:19

brand relationship you have is like that. like

8:21

every brand is like a boss with you

8:23

constantly have to report you and go back

8:26

and forth with and so me taking a

8:28

break from that even though yes according to

8:30

my money was so great for my mental

8:32

health and my creativity and my clarity. The

8:34

time that I took away from the podcast

8:37

is to regroup and again get creative and

8:39

bring it back, having more fun and having

8:41

conversations that are more aligned with what I

8:43

wanted to have. Guessed it cut

8:45

into the growth in it. Honestly, I

8:48

even lost listeners because I went away

8:50

for so long and that naturally happens.

8:52

but I'm enjoying it so much more

8:54

now than I was last year. When.

8:57

I was just grinding it out when I

8:59

was doing episodes everyone else wanted me to

9:01

do that you weren't necessarily you know on

9:03

my heart to do. It

9:06

actually feels a lot better or

9:08

to have had a little bit

9:10

more lived experience and to be

9:13

able to spend time with my

9:15

friends and cultivate those relationships and

9:17

have those experiences and go on

9:20

those trips So. It

9:22

was definitely a time more so for a

9:24

living than for achieving. And I don't

9:26

think that living and achieving are mutually exclusive

9:28

by any means because you can absolutely do

9:31

both. but I do think that we

9:33

can sometimes have seasons, were were doing a

9:35

little bit more one than the other and

9:37

I've been really fortunate this year that

9:39

a lot of my living a lot of

9:42

my life being like thing has been

9:44

some that has been travel, has been concerts,

9:46

has been events that has been exploring new

9:48

city is and you're making new friends

9:50

and that such a huge. Blessing and

9:52

Life can also be like thing

9:55

in other ways to whether you

9:57

experience a really big change like.

10:00

Going through a breakup and find your

10:02

new normal or. Getting married and finding

10:04

your new normal are having a child and

10:06

finding your new normal are stepping into caregiving

10:08

and find the your new normal. If you

10:10

have a health crisis that you need to

10:13

tend to or if you have to tend

10:15

to your mental health or any it like

10:17

life situation like that that kind of. Throws:

10:20

You off a little bit. Of those are

10:22

situations where may be the focus is a

10:24

little bit more on living. And

10:26

I think what happens is we have these

10:29

experiences that are calling us to like live

10:31

a little bit more, whether it's good or

10:33

whether it's bad, but then we still promise

10:36

pressure on ourselves to achieve As if life

10:38

hasn't been like saying and so I be

10:40

able to give yourself grace for those scenarios

10:42

of either I'm leaning into this hard season,

10:45

thus requiring a little bit more of me

10:47

so you know the checklist is gonna have

10:49

to go on the back burner or I'm

10:52

having a good time and I'm pouring into

10:54

myself and I'm a little bit busy enjoying.

10:56

Myself as opposed to like forcing myself

10:58

to achieve things. Both versions are totally

11:01

valid and I think if you can

11:03

recognize which season you're in and just

11:05

fully mean into it and embrace it

11:07

and be present in it, it feels

11:10

so much better than beating yourself up

11:12

over. What you did and didn't

11:14

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something that I also want a circle back

13:00

to. that I mention kind of at the

13:02

top of the episode was in Twenty Twenty

13:04

Two when I had reached all these goals

13:07

and it sounded really great. So many of

13:09

those calls that I reached we're not necessarily

13:11

because of my efforts. In Twenty Twenty

13:13

Two. So many of those goals

13:15

were a culmination of things that I

13:17

had been working towards. like paying off

13:20

my student loans yes, I finished paying

13:22

them off and twenty Twenty Two, but

13:24

that was a decade long effort. I

13:26

started paying towards that that in Twenty

13:28

twelve, it took. Ten years

13:30

to be done. With that, so

13:33

Twenty Twenty Two, you can't get all

13:35

the credit for what I'd been doing

13:37

for a decade or when I did

13:39

grow my podcast. Yes, the numbers were

13:41

really great and Twenty Twenty Two, but

13:43

a lot of that foundation was from

13:45

work I did in Twenty Twenty and

13:47

in Twenty Twenty One him being consistent

13:49

during all of that time so that

13:52

that could culminate to the results we

13:54

got in Twenty Twenty Two. Same.

13:56

With like the business revenue I double date

13:58

because yes I said yes. A lot more

14:00

things and my audience grew and that

14:02

helped, but I never would have been

14:04

able to have the opportunities to even

14:07

say yes you if I hadn't been

14:09

consistent for several years before that. So

14:11

I also think sometimes we put a

14:13

lot of pressure on ourselves to reach

14:15

these big goals and are very short

14:17

amount of time when these are really

14:19

most high year goal set have different

14:21

phases and different things that we have

14:23

to go through different ways that we

14:25

have to be consistent for really long

14:27

time to reach them and we expect

14:29

to do these. Things that take. Three.

14:32

Years. Five years, Ten years and the

14:34

span of a quarter in the span

14:36

of a year. And it's really unfair

14:38

to ourselves. And that was something that

14:40

I had to learn was like. That.

14:44

Work that I didn't Twenty twenty two

14:46

with such a combination that to think

14:48

that things it took me a decade

14:50

in the making. We're just gonna double

14:52

in a year. It

14:55

was kind of an unfair. You

14:57

know, Goal or assumption

14:59

to make of myself and I think

15:02

that we tend to do that a

15:04

Whites especially if you're an ambitious person

15:06

or if you really plugged into social

15:08

media and you see people achieving things

15:10

and talking about bees, highlights and bangs

15:12

be don't always know what went into

15:14

it behind the scenes or how long

15:16

they've been working out it's or what

15:19

they sacrifice to get their we only

15:21

see the end result And so remembering

15:23

that the iceberg under the surface is

15:25

so much bigger than what we see

15:27

above the water for both. Ourselves and

15:29

other people is really, really

15:32

important. Than

15:34

the next thing. I also want to talk

15:36

about his. Understanding why

15:38

we set the goals that we

15:41

sat in, understanding the difference between.

15:43

A. Vanity Goal: In a

15:46

meaningful goal. And. I think

15:48

a lot of why I was able to

15:50

reach my goals in Twenty Twenty Two and

15:52

why I didn't reach a lot of them.

15:54

And Twenty Twenty Three was because the polls

15:57

that I sat in Twenty Twenty Two were

15:59

really meaningful. In a lot of

16:01

ways, like my goal to read thirty bucks

16:03

wise bit high as at the beginning of

16:05

Twenty Twenty Two of having just kind of

16:07

going through a really hard time. and I

16:09

had read ah, Seven Days in June by

16:11

Tier Williams because I saw Tic Toc video

16:13

recommending it. I was like oh, maybe if

16:15

I read, you know, get back into readings.

16:17

I loved reading as a kid, but not

16:19

as much as an adult. Maybe that will

16:21

help me. I take my mind off of

16:23

things I used to love reading so much

16:25

I want to get back into hobbies. And

16:28

so I read that book and I really.

16:30

Enjoyed the experience that I had. Reading that

16:32

I was like, okay, I'll set a reading

16:34

goal and hopefully that will help me reestablish

16:36

the habit of reading so that was a

16:39

meaningful goal. It wasn't necessarily about reading thirty

16:41

bucks it with a bow and getting back

16:43

into a practice. The I enjoy and I

16:45

just so happen to have found a bunch

16:48

of books that I enjoyed, which is why

16:50

I read so many, but also part of

16:52

why read so many was in Twenty Twenty

16:54

Two. I also felt really isolated and I

16:57

spent a lot of time at home. Alone.

17:00

Phone. Dry. not doing anything that

17:02

was like the books were kind

17:05

of all I had. Vs

17:07

and Twenty Twenty Three. My goal to

17:09

read fifty books like was not as

17:11

meaningful as back all the year before.

17:14

It was pure vanity. It was pure

17:16

like, oh, that sounds good. That sounds

17:18

impressive. If I did x number year

17:20

before, I should be able to do

17:22

way more the next year. And people

17:24

are going to think that I'm so

17:26

well read and I'm so smart if

17:29

I read this many bugs, but it

17:31

actually wasn't meaningful. I'd already established the

17:33

habit of of reading like what's meaningful

17:35

for me is sitting down with. A

17:37

book and following a story that I

17:39

really enjoy it. or if I'm reading

17:42

you know, nonfiction are like a personal

17:44

development book. Learning something new and kicking,

17:46

something valuable from that. That is what

17:48

brings me joy. The number of books

17:50

that I read don't bring me joy

17:53

is that was an example of a

17:55

very veins goal and I really had

17:57

to check myself with bad of the

17:59

numb. It doesn't matter, it's the habit.

18:01

It's the why. it's the why you're doing

18:03

that as soon as we go to set

18:06

goals for the next year. I think it's

18:08

really important to look at. Why are you

18:10

setting the goals you set? Are you setting

18:12

them from a place of meaning? Are you

18:15

setting them from a place of vanity Because

18:17

you want to be able to brag about

18:19

it on social media at the end of

18:21

the year because you think people will be

18:24

increased by you if you do a certain

18:26

thing or because it sounds good. that may

18:28

not necessarily. Be meaningful. I

18:31

think about this a lot when it comes to.

18:33

Professional. Goals as well, especially

18:35

for people who are in more

18:37

of the business entrepreneurship realm as

18:40

the idea of you know, doubling

18:42

or tripling your revenue or six

18:44

figure this they're bringing in, you

18:46

know, ten thousand dollar months and

18:49

scaling and all of that sounds.

18:52

Billie. Sexy. Are we doing it?

18:55

To. Say we did it or are we

18:57

doing it because we know our work is

18:59

impactful and we enjoy it and it helps

19:01

people think there's nothing wrong with wanting to

19:04

grow and wanting to expand. I am an

19:06

abundant girly and I'm never going to shame

19:08

anybody for wanting to make more money in

19:10

this economy. Honey I will listen, were off

19:13

were all try and then we all you

19:15

know could use a bit more help and

19:17

support. So it that's not a problem but

19:20

it's the Y M. Are you doing it

19:22

because it sounds good? because it's click baby?

19:24

because you. Think it will make people respect

19:26

you? Are you doing it because you want

19:28

to have more resources to live a full

19:30

life? Or because you want to bring on

19:32

more help in your business? Or because you

19:34

want to be able to delegate things to

19:36

get some more support and spend time with

19:39

your loved ones. That is the difference. Between

19:41

meaning. And. Vanity.

19:45

I felt the same way about the

19:47

podcast growth goal where aside aside. next

19:49

it last year and I can fire

19:52

exit again this year. Again, that sounds

19:54

really great, but. How

19:57

meaningful is bad Because when I

19:59

look at. Something like a metric of

20:01

following or how many people are listening.

20:03

That's just kind of a number on

20:05

at the screen, but it doesn't actually.

20:08

Make me happy or. To

20:11

any real meaning because it's not A

20:13

But when I get yams from you

20:15

guys telling me how much she liked

20:17

an episode or what you thought, or

20:19

how something impacted you even if it's

20:22

just one Dm, That one Dm is

20:24

so much more real and impactful to

20:26

me than seeing numbers in the thousands

20:28

or in the millions on a screen

20:31

because Isis not real. So saying five

20:33

x my podcast growth. Okay

20:35

but did you help people? Does you impact

20:37

people? Are you growing because you wanted? say

20:40

these big numbers that sounds sexy or do

20:42

you wanna grow because you know that you

20:44

have a message that can help more people

20:46

and I think that especially those for anybody

20:48

who's in content creation know it can be

20:51

a vein goal to want to reach a

20:53

certain following and legged hub brand send you

20:55

stuff and had that look sexy and I

20:57

get it as somebody who's than in this

21:00

world for a decade. I get it but

21:02

that can be out of place of vanity

21:04

and it doesn't mean. That you shouldn't want

21:06

to get your message out there and instead

21:08

of looking at it as a little look

21:10

so good. When I get ten k or

21:12

hundred k or this, see it as. I.

21:15

Have a message and the more people who come

21:17

here at the more people I can help. And

21:19

that was actually really big take away from me.

21:21

With the episode that we did with Nicole Walters

21:24

a few months ago where she was talking about

21:26

her book, that was something she said was. Not

21:29

necessarily being concerned about the numbers because of

21:31

how much it sells, but that because she

21:33

knew the power in her story. and

21:35

she knew that the more people who would

21:37

hurt her story, the more people she could

21:40

help. And that was such an important

21:42

mindset. grief. Frame for me. To.

21:44

Help me really take a look

21:46

at these types of goals and

21:48

metrics differently. so less about the

21:50

number and how it looks And

21:52

you know. What that is

21:54

like and more about. The.

21:57

Quality and the qualitative and to

21:59

the. No conversations and connections

22:01

with people that were helping and

22:03

I think that that can apply

22:05

to any fields, especially for people

22:08

who are in more of the

22:10

entrepreneurship field, but any field. Is

22:12

more always better? Why? As the

22:15

expectation that we always have to

22:17

do. More. And

22:20

when is enough enough when

22:22

his quality a nice. At.

22:24

Some point we reach a point of

22:26

diminishing returns when it comes to our.

22:28

Ability to put in effort towards something

22:31

or when it comes to how much

22:33

we you know can produce. And when

22:35

you reach that point where you realize

22:37

that. Getting in achieving

22:40

more is actually not. Beauty

22:42

doing anything for you. It

22:44

can be. It is a really

22:47

sobering moment and I definitely had

22:49

that realization this year as I

22:51

reflected on what it's felt like

22:53

to it and not not reach

22:55

the goals that I set out.

22:59

I. Also think this can be really prevalent

23:01

as we approach the new year and

23:03

as people start to get really focused

23:05

on wellness again somebody his work and

23:07

wellness again. For over a decade now

23:09

I've seen it time and time again.

23:11

were at the beginning of the year

23:13

everybody has all of this desk and

23:15

all of this you know, enthusiasm and

23:17

this is the yeah. I'm gonna get

23:20

in shape. This is a year. I'm

23:22

gonna run a marathon and do all

23:24

of these things. But. Again, is

23:26

that a go out as a entity or

23:28

is it a goal out of meaning if

23:30

you want to have a six pack. To.

23:34

An know post their straps. I

23:36

mean I'm not knocking. They are not judging him as

23:38

post the first half or two and my dad be

23:40

lying if I said I didn't I tried to archives

23:42

them now on an author still up but I posted

23:45

it. Is. That a hundred

23:47

vanity vs. If you're like I

23:49

want longevity, I want to feel

23:51

strong, I want to feel energized.

23:53

I want to take care of

23:55

myself and be around for a

23:57

while. That could be a goal

23:59

for more meaning and when you

24:01

start to measure success by that's

24:03

by that meaningful perspective that is

24:06

where you develop the habits of

24:08

our help. You say in it

24:10

a bit more and help you

24:12

stay on top of your wellness

24:14

routines. Past January Vs if you're

24:16

like our six pack. I wanted

24:18

to look like i gotta be Bl and by the end

24:20

of january you didn't get their your like I'm tired I

24:23

quit. Lives were

24:25

so much easier to phone it in

24:27

when we have those goals out of

24:29

vanity but when we have those cause

24:31

that we set out of meaning that

24:33

some refill little bit more invested elsewhere

24:35

heart isn't as a little bit more

24:37

that's where minds are in a a

24:39

little bit more and that's when we

24:41

really show up for ourselves and. Was

24:44

another big learning that I had comparing

24:46

my twenty twenty two goals to my

24:48

twenty twenty three goals. So many of

24:50

those things that I did. Were.

24:52

Really start Celts. It was like I know

24:54

My biggest financial goal was I wanted to

24:57

pay off my student loans because I wanted

24:59

to be free from that that was hanging

25:01

over my head. I wanted to have that

25:03

sense of freedom. I was beginning to earn

25:06

more resources that I wanted to keep them

25:08

to invest into. Do other things. Where's Vs

25:10

If is just an act. I want Five

25:12

figure months, three months so like and posts

25:14

about it and say that I did it

25:17

like whereas the meanie and now where's the

25:19

heart in that? So what is it that

25:21

you want to do. With the schools

25:23

that you are setting. And

25:27

another common expression that we have

25:29

heard many times and I'm going

25:31

to say it again: the happiness

25:34

is a journey, not a destination,

25:37

So. Much of what I've learned

25:39

from this experience of having such

25:42

a pendulum swing, sunlight reaching big

25:44

goals all the sadness appreciate any

25:46

goals is that. Achieving

25:49

the goal usually doesn't

25:51

really do much for

25:53

me. Like. Paying.

25:56

Off my student loans And I mean that

25:58

last payment and it. Dylan. I

26:02

thought that I would feel amazing

26:04

and I actually felt like shit.

26:06

I felt horrible because. All.

26:09

Of the old triggers that I had

26:11

around my college trauma in financial trauma

26:14

all came back up with that's events.

26:16

So paying off my student loans actually

26:18

didn't feel that good. But a few

26:21

months later when I started having more

26:23

of my money and be able to

26:25

keep more my money and put it

26:27

towards things that were important to me

26:30

and my day to day that actually

26:32

felt really good or it. Same thing

26:34

with the book example, like reading forty

26:36

two books and posting about it on

26:39

Instagram. Didn't really feel that good but

26:41

as I was reading these books that

26:43

I loved and I was getting so

26:45

into these stories or even I read

26:47

a lot of like personal finance books

26:49

last year chew and that also helped

26:51

me a lot manage my money better

26:53

as I was able to apply those

26:55

things that I was learning and have

26:57

these aha moments while I was reading

26:59

the sayings. felt so much better than

27:01

be able to say I did this

27:03

forty two times. Same with conversations about

27:05

the podcast and every year when it

27:07

spot if I wrapped time. And I

27:10

see people share their spot if I

27:12

wrapped my see that balance. My girl

27:14

is an inner. They talk about the

27:16

episodes that they love to the changes

27:18

they've made in their lives. That to

27:20

me feel so much better than seeing

27:22

a downloads number on a screen or

27:24

when I'm sitting down to record an

27:26

episode. Especially the interviews, I get to

27:28

have these phone conversations that makes me

27:30

happy, but seeing how many people listen

27:33

to it. Doesn't necessarily make

27:35

me happy. So I think really

27:37

looking at those things that we

27:39

do every day to help us

27:41

reach a goal and findings are

27:43

still meant from being in it.

27:45

And those things that we do

27:47

while we're in it is so

27:50

much more rewarding than saying that

27:52

we achieved a certain. Thing.

27:55

Is same with you know the business

27:57

growth that the year before with? yeah.

28:00

Doubling my revenue. Like it. It. Was.

28:02

Fine to say that, but it felt

28:04

really good to be able to grow

28:06

my team and to be able to

28:08

pay people for the work they did

28:10

and have their help and being able

28:12

to collaborate with my team members every

28:14

week to. I really like working with

28:16

like that. To me celts so much

28:19

better than just being like Now we

28:21

make this much money and so I

28:23

think as we're looking at our goals

28:25

and were really taking a critical eye

28:27

to then we're setting those goals out

28:29

of meaning as opposed to vanity. Really

28:31

looking at. That journey perspective

28:33

that being in it every

28:35

day that we're doing. How

28:37

are we finding the joy

28:40

and ssl men. From.

28:42

Those things I think the second absolutely

28:45

apply to a wellness journey. Whether somebody

28:47

is you know honestly his journey or

28:49

on a weight loss journey or is

28:51

really trying to get you know their

28:53

health back on track like a certain

28:55

number that you reach is not what's

28:57

going to bring you joy of the

28:59

endorphins you might guess after work out

29:02

will bring you joy or be able

29:04

to get stronger him do something that

29:06

you haven't done before and that is

29:08

what is going to bring you joy

29:10

as I think really looking for those

29:12

opportunities. To find that sense of

29:14

accomplishment in the daily things you

29:16

do as opposed to just looking

29:18

for that culmination at the end

29:20

of the year is going to

29:23

keep you in it, even if

29:25

you don't reach the goal. I

29:27

can. I keep going back to

29:29

the reading example because that one is

29:31

just so tangible. As an easy example

29:33

like and in read anywhere near fifty

29:35

bucks is the air. But I read

29:37

some amazing books I am excited to

29:39

reference back again and again that have

29:42

literally changed my life and how I

29:44

show up every day and so yeah

29:46

I didn't reach that goal. but from

29:48

what I did do and not some

29:50

amazing nuggets and these life changing books

29:52

which also by the way if you

29:54

want to see the books that I

29:56

read go to my Instagram. At Balance Less

29:59

I have a book. I write for each

30:01

year. So all the books I read and Twenty Twenty

30:03

two all of the books I read Twenty Twenty Three

30:05

I save them on my highlight a link them there

30:07

I leave like a little review with my thoughts are

30:10

a little synopsis. the you can see all of that

30:12

their I know the people want me to get on

30:14

good reads. I don't know what it is about good

30:16

read that I just don't wanna do that. I use

30:18

my A Scam Highlights as my good read. So if

30:21

you're serious makes your following me on Instagram at balance.

30:23

Last go to my highlights and I have all my

30:25

books. They're. So you might

30:27

be like okay, less. Now.

30:29

What do I do for my. Now,

30:32

how do I? How do I set goals?

30:34

And in next week's episode we come back

30:36

from the New Year, I'm gonna go more

30:38

into that. I mean ago actually why I'm

30:40

not setting goals for twenty twenty four or

30:43

what I'm doing a little bit differently, which

30:45

is just gonna be kind of my own

30:47

personal approach. I'm not saying that goals are

30:49

bad, but I think if you are looking

30:51

to set goals right now. And

30:54

you want to set goals out of

30:56

meaning for every goal that you said.

30:58

Whether you you know, write that down

31:00

in your journal, you have it in

31:02

notion next to the goal. Put the

31:04

why. I want

31:07

to make x amount because.

31:10

Or. What is it about reaching

31:12

that goal is going to do for you? Riot

31:14

like I want to get back in shape. Shares.

31:17

The Why I want She, you know,

31:19

get back out there and dating. Here's

31:21

the why I want to start: My.

31:24

Own podcast. Here's the why and

31:26

having the Why right next to

31:28

those goals I think will help

31:31

you understand those really meaningful milestones.

31:33

But I also think it's important

31:35

to set goals. That

31:38

will be. Enjoyable.

31:40

For you on. That

31:43

journey. It. Doesn't. Mean

31:45

that you're going to enjoy. Every.

31:47

Single step of the way when I

31:49

was paying off my one hundred thousand

31:51

dollars. The student loans I deny enjoy

31:53

making those payments. Like making those payments

31:56

was not enjoyable, but I did learn.

31:58

How to enjoy. Having

32:00

a better relationship with my money

32:02

and understanding. My. Spending and understanding

32:04

my interest rates and learning how

32:07

to be a student. Of that

32:09

with a part of the process.

32:11

The I did enjoy because once

32:13

I understood it, I just felt

32:15

so much more empowered to make

32:17

different decisions. So if your goal

32:19

is to get in shape, get

32:21

excited about learning about fitness, don't

32:23

phone it in and just think

32:25

that it's your trainers responsibility to

32:27

know everything. Ask questions, Understand how

32:30

your body works? If they're telling you to

32:32

do and exercise, ask them what muscles this

32:34

is working. Where should I be feeling that?

32:36

How should I be doing this? If you're

32:38

changing your diet, understand what are you putting

32:40

in your body's what is the benefit of

32:42

the As? if you're taking a vitamin, look

32:44

at that label and research what are these

32:46

different nutrients and how can I understand what

32:49

these nutrients are doing for my body? If

32:51

you have a book you know, go or

32:53

understand what it is that I want to

32:55

get from this book. Do I want to

32:57

get a story for pleasure for enjoyment? Do.

32:59

I want to get a tangible take

33:01

away. Have a wife for every single

33:04

thing that you're doing. And. Get

33:06

ready to be a student for

33:08

those nitty gritty daily details. And

33:10

that is what is going. To. Keep you in

33:12

it. Because just looking at this top

33:15

line like Pie in the Sky goal

33:17

as something that sounds good without being

33:19

invested in the daily nitty gritty is

33:21

really setting yourself up for failure and

33:23

a you up for a success. Because

33:26

successful era is our theme of Twenty

33:28

Twenty Four is what I'm talking about

33:30

on the podcast next week and it's

33:32

just something that I want for all

33:35

of us. So really

33:37

investing in the little

33:39

things in the details

33:41

in that culmination. I

33:44

also think it's really important as

33:46

I mentioned earlier to understand that

33:48

these things take time, so a

33:50

fresh start at the beginning of

33:52

the year is an incredible time

33:54

to set goals in it. Also

33:56

okay, is the goals you set

33:58

now take you longer. In just

34:00

twenty twenty four to deal. It.

34:03

Is okay. Be flexible with that

34:05

and give yourself space to really

34:07

grow into them again. We have

34:09

these goals: The can take five

34:11

years, ten years, and that's okay.

34:13

The time is going to pass

34:15

any way. Like pass it, you

34:17

know. Doing the things that you

34:19

want to do and reaching the

34:21

things that you want to reach

34:23

pets. Give yourself lots of grace

34:25

to figure things out and to

34:28

forge different paths and find your

34:30

way to reach these calls. My.

34:33

Goal in sharing. Mycelium.

34:36

Failure. Lessons and things

34:38

that I didn't necessarily

34:40

achieve this year was

34:42

to. Make it

34:45

okay, it's okay to not as

34:47

she's every goal. Nobody has it

34:49

all together or achieves everything all

34:51

the time. And finding gratitude in

34:53

the things that didn't have been

34:55

can be just as important as

34:58

finding gratitude in the things that

35:00

did happen. So a lot of

35:02

what I didn't achieve this year

35:04

was because I was out there

35:06

living and I'm so grateful for

35:08

the experiences that I've had because

35:10

those experiences that I had. Were

35:14

so much more valuable to me than

35:16

reaching some of these arbitrary goals. And

35:18

so I think find in gratitude for

35:20

what did happen for you were fining.

35:23

Gratitude for what didn't happen is really

35:25

really important as we approach a new

35:27

year and really reverse engineering what is

35:29

Celeste and that came in. So much

35:32

of what you did or didn't do

35:34

with an opportunity didn't come through. How

35:36

are you able to pivot and what

35:39

did you learn from what you did

35:41

instead? and how can you find gratitude

35:43

in. That has really been my

35:45

biggest take away in L A

35:48

S. The

35:50

that is what I have few today It

35:52

thank you so much for at listening to

35:54

Balance Black Girl in Twenty Twenty Three. Still

35:56

listening to this episode When it comes out

35:58

I hope you have. Happy New Year!

36:01

I hope you have lots of

36:03

time with loved ones that you

36:05

get to relax and recharge before

36:07

we head into Twenty Twenty Four.

36:09

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36:11

the show, please make sure that

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36:35

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36:37

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36:39

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36:56

note that this episode may contain

36:58

endorsements and advertisements. Products and services.

37:00

Individuals on the show may have

37:03

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37:05

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37:07

In this episode.