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What I learned from my kids and a conference

What I learned from my kids and a conference

Released Tuesday, 1st August 2023
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What I learned from my kids and a conference

What I learned from my kids and a conference

What I learned from my kids and a conference

What I learned from my kids and a conference

Tuesday, 1st August 2023
Good episode? Give it some love!
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0:00

In this episode of Balancing the Christian Life , I

0:03

talk about learning from experience . Welcome

0:08

to Balancing the Christian Life . I'm Dr Kenny

0:10

Embry . Join me as we discover how to

0:12

be better Christians and people in

0:14

the digital age . So

0:19

it's late Monday afternoon and we're

0:21

in the car coming home from spending a couple days

0:23

at an Orlando amusement park

0:26

. We left the house after

0:28

church on Sunday and stayed in a

0:30

local hotel . A few months

0:32

ago my wife , Katie , suggested

0:34

it might be nice if we got some annual pass

0:36

holder tickets to one of the theme parks

0:38

around here . What are the benefits of

0:40

living in Central Florida ? It's

0:42

pretty easy for us to get to places

0:45

people often spend years planning to spend

0:47

vacation time . We've been

0:49

pass holders in the past of many

0:51

of the local franchises , but

0:53

Universal Studios is not one we've

0:55

been to in a while , and to some place

0:57

the kids wanted to go . The

0:59

park was running a deal , so I

1:02

pulled the trigger . I planned

1:04

to take my family right after I finished

1:06

my responsibilities with this year's

1:08

Balancing the Christian Life conference

1:10

. I knew I had been

1:12

pushing some of my attention away

1:14

from my family for a few days to

1:17

get stuff done for the conference

1:19

. I also knew it

1:22

would be a good idea to reconnect

1:25

and see what was going

1:27

on in their lives . Abby

1:30

, my 13-year-old daughter , discovered

1:33

she really likes roller

1:35

coasters . She discovered the mummy

1:37

and some roller coaster in the Harry Potter

1:39

themed area , Can't ? My

1:41

15-year-old son decided he probably

1:44

wasn't into roller coasters

1:46

. As a parent , this doesn't surprise

1:49

me at all . All of my kids

1:51

are different and this is me

1:53

learning that again . I

1:55

also got to see my wife laugh

1:58

and smile a lot . We

2:00

held hands and enjoyed seeing Central Florida

2:02

through our kids' eyes . The

2:05

secret to going to theme parks is to

2:07

abandon your dream of riding

2:09

every ride and seeing every show

2:11

but instead focus

2:13

on the people you're with

2:15

and what they want to do . For

2:18

Abby , it was discovering

2:20

if roller coasters are scarier fun

2:23

. Can she embrace fear

2:25

and develop courage ? For

2:28

Kent , it was seeing if

2:30

he had outgrown some interests he had

2:32

as a kid . I was thrilled

2:35

when he figured out one of the rides he enjoyed

2:37

several years ago in those simulators

2:39

that beat you around wasn't

2:41

nearly as good as he remembered

2:44

. He found a lot of clarity

2:46

and even decided he wasn't

2:48

really missing out on some things he

2:50

thought he might be . In other

2:53

words , sometimes not doing

2:55

something is better . One

2:58

found courage , one

3:00

found confirmation . It's

3:03

fun to see that in my kids . When

3:06

I was at the park I was able to put some perspective

3:09

to the conference we had just concluded

3:11

. I learned a ton

3:13

from that . I'm not

3:15

surprised . A lot of things I learned

3:17

from that are reflected in my time

3:19

with my own family , because , well

3:22

, I had just spent some

3:24

time with spiritual family

3:26

. So let me tell

3:28

you some of what I learned and

3:31

maybe you can see how these things translate

3:34

everywhere . First

3:37

, I'm impressed

3:39

with my spiritual family , who

3:42

know how to pull together . In

3:44

the sessions I went to , I

3:47

loved chatting with a few people I

3:49

knew and learning people I

3:52

didn't . When

3:54

we look at the epistles in the New Testament

3:56

, we often get confused about some

3:58

of the endings of Paul's letters . Most

4:01

famously , Romans 16

4:03

seems to be Paul just saying hey to some

4:05

people he really loved . Yes

4:07

, his epistles are about important

4:10

ideas and the theology

4:12

that saves us , but

4:14

they were also letters to

4:16

people Paul knew and

4:19

loved . I've said

4:21

many times , the purpose of the conference

4:23

isn't just hearing some very impressive

4:25

speakers , and let me emphasize

4:28

that for a second . I heard some

4:30

of the best teaching at the event and

4:32

the ability to ask questions

4:34

and have conversations about

4:36

the ideas after they were given

4:39

was incredible . They

4:41

often elaborate on confusing

4:44

points , which was great

4:46

, but the part I can't

4:48

quantify is meeting

4:51

the people in that digital

4:53

room . In one of the later

4:55

sessions I remember myself , Hal

4:57

Hammons and four others of us talking

5:00

about the advantages and dangers of

5:03

using social media . It

5:06

went from a formal presentation to

5:08

something that is really exciting

5:10

an exchange of

5:12

ideas and figuring

5:15

out what we think

5:18

. That's something

5:20

you can do when you are in conversation

5:23

and dialogue and

5:26

not just one person talking

5:28

. In our own spiritual walks

5:30

, some of us have the luxury

5:32

of choosing among several congregations

5:34

to attend , and there's a

5:36

real danger in that . It's

5:40

easy to minimize the relationships

5:42

you have with your church

5:45

family to a few hours

5:47

on Sunday and or Wednesday

5:49

and then not think about

5:51

them until the next week . We

5:54

end up seeing each other a handful of hours

5:56

and the conversations all

5:58

tend to be repeated spiritual

6:01

small talk . How are you feeling

6:03

? How are you kids ? What's

6:06

going on this week ? See you next

6:08

week . Let

6:10

me be clear I'm often guilty

6:13

of this , but when

6:15

you have the opportunity to

6:17

not just listen but

6:20

interact with other Christians for

6:22

more time and not just

6:24

everyone sitting on benches and looking

6:26

the same direction to listen to one

6:28

person , but instead getting

6:31

some coffee or going to lunch or

6:34

even getting in an online

6:37

conference and

6:39

talking things out . The

6:41

conversation changes . You

6:44

start talking about things you have

6:46

legitimate questions

6:48

about . In my

6:50

own family , some of

6:52

the most important spiritual conversations

6:55

I've ever had with my kids were

6:57

on the way to the grocery to get some forgotten

7:00

milk or going to the mechanic

7:02

to get our oil changed . In

7:04

those unguarded moments , my

7:07

kids ask about the parts of Christianity

7:10

that are hard or

7:12

embarrassing to ask in a Bible class

7:14

where nobody should judge you

7:16

for the questions you ask , but often

7:18

do . Yet we all

7:21

know many are simply

7:23

grateful for the questions that were asked

7:25

because they

7:27

had a similar one . Relationships

7:30

are often forged in

7:33

moments of boredom and

7:35

routine . We

7:37

often ask questions that

7:39

matter while we

7:41

are doing things that don't , and

7:44

characters often forged in the

7:47

habits we center in the

7:49

mundane . Something

7:51

I loved hearing from my kids

7:53

all weekend were

7:56

two magic words I hear them say

7:58

often Thank

8:00

you . That's a big

8:02

deal . Second

8:05

, like my kids , I

8:08

realized how grateful I am . I've

8:12

spoken about the power of gratitude

8:14

before on the podcast and I

8:17

keep having to relearn its importance

8:19

. During the conference

8:21

, I worked with some truly amazing

8:24

people Jennifer Ackett

8:26

, Mark McCrary , Sean Hyfill

8:28

, Steve Wolfgang , Hal Hammons and

8:30

Jared Bolman organized and oversaw

8:33

six tracks . The

8:36

speakers they chose were all

8:38

excellent , willing to spend

8:40

some time making content for

8:42

you guys to talk about . I

8:45

think I counted 51

8:47

speakers . That's

8:49

amazing . Then

8:51

my good friends Keith Stonehardt and Edwin

8:53

Crozier agreed to put together a couple

8:56

keynote presentations and again

8:58

talk about their ideas

9:00

after they presented them . I've

9:03

had good friends like Chris Emerson , Jacob

9:05

Hudgens and Hoover , Mark

9:07

Roberts and even people

9:10

I met through organizing , like

9:12

Jay Horsley , Hunter Davis and Tim

9:14

Beyer , promoted on social

9:17

media . I've had several

9:20

pick up slack when I didn't have

9:22

time , like Ann Hoover or

9:24

Greg Prince , and

9:26

then three people Mike

9:28

Wilkes , Julie Adams

9:30

and Chris Osborn all

9:32

stepped up to help pay

9:34

for the stuff we needed to

9:37

make this happen . That's

9:39

huge . And

9:41

then 36

9:44

additional donors also

9:47

stepped in to help financially

9:49

make this possible . Again

9:52

, these may or may not be

9:55

names that mean something to you , but

9:58

, just like Paul at the end of Romans

10:01

, these are people

10:03

who have come to mean something

10:05

to me because I'm

10:07

grateful . In

10:10

your life , it's important

10:12

to recognize those who

10:14

help you , and these

10:16

people did , but

10:19

they are far from alone . I'm

10:22

also grateful for

10:24

the 462 people who

10:27

signed up to attend . Last

10:30

year I was floored because 143

10:33

people were interested in talking

10:35

about spiritual topics with a bunch of strangers

10:37

they may or may not know . This

10:40

year , we over tripled

10:42

that number . Thank

10:45

you , I

10:47

am humbled and grateful

10:49

, but I am also

10:51

simply impressed by how many

10:53

are interested in talking

10:55

about God for

10:58

three days . I'm

11:00

reminded of the story of the Ten Leppers in

11:03

Luke 17 , who were miraculously

11:05

healed by Jesus , yet

11:07

only one came back to say thank

11:09

you . Gratitude

11:11

is nice for the person you're thanking

11:13

, but in the end , gratitude

11:17

makes you better . You're

11:20

able to see how much others

11:22

care for you or

11:25

care for your cause . My

11:28

kids saying thank you doesn't change

11:30

if I feed them or not , but it

11:32

makes them better because it makes

11:35

them recognize they are cared

11:37

for and loved by

11:39

parents who do both . Third

11:42

, I am blown away

11:44

by how digital

11:46

tools can really honestly

11:49

be used to do good

11:52

stuff . Yes

11:54

, I know there are terrible

11:56

websites . People fritter

11:59

away too much time on screens , following

12:01

both the trivial and the destructive

12:04

. These are trying

12:06

to addict you to content

12:08

through algorithms , psychological games

12:10

and manipulation . Agreed , it

12:13

can be overdone and often is

12:15

, and that includes me . But

12:17

part of my criticism of those who

12:20

dismiss digital media out

12:22

of hand is they are using the

12:24

same criticisms the ancient

12:26

Greeks had of writing , the Renaissance

12:29

had of books , the intelligentsia

12:31

had of newspapers , a largely

12:34

farm-based economy had of movies

12:36

and radio and the generation

12:39

before me had of television

12:41

. The criticisms are usually

12:44

warranted and true . Most

12:46

books are useless , Most radio

12:48

is trash , Most movies

12:51

are wastes of time . But

12:53

the answer isn't to outlaw

12:55

books , radio or movies or

12:58

even digital stuff , as if

13:00

we could . The answer

13:03

is to make

13:05

stuff worth consuming

13:07

, and what I saw

13:09

was and

13:12

is worth your

13:15

time . We

13:17

live in an incredible age where

13:20

we have finally seen the ability

13:22

of people to create

13:24

and then distribute globally

13:27

stuff worth

13:30

paying attention to from

13:32

tools available in almost

13:34

every pocket in the world . The

13:38

criticism I do resonate with

13:40

most is that online

13:42

is a poor substitute

13:45

for face-to-face relationships . I

13:48

agree you

13:50

need to have good relationships

13:52

with those physically close

13:55

to you , but

13:57

that doesn't mean you can't also

14:00

meet people around the world

14:02

through an amazing tool

14:04

that introduces you . Some

14:07

of you know I made a missionary trip with my

14:09

friend , Mark McCrary , to the Philippine island

14:12

of Palawan . I

14:14

didn't know anybody there . I

14:16

met with 16 different congregations

14:19

where I preached 16 different

14:21

sermons and watched 106

14:23

people choose to get into a relationship

14:25

with Christ through baptism

14:27

. That was very

14:30

cool , but what's

14:32

even cooler is

14:34

I now keep up with

14:36

a handful of those people . I

14:40

did meet them face-to-face , but

14:43

our relationship is

14:46

now online . Thank

14:49

God for tools that let us

14:52

do that . Finally

14:54

, I am impressed

14:56

by God's growth . A

14:59

lot of people made this possible

15:01

. I owe great debt to

15:03

them , but a handful of people

15:05

reminded me that success isn't

15:08

in my hands . If

15:11

God wants this to fail , it will . My

15:14

job is to seek His will , do

15:17

my best and then

15:19

be content with

15:21

what happens . I

15:24

surrounded myself with people who

15:26

could do what needed to get done , but

15:29

ultimately , if this succeeds

15:32

or fails , it's in

15:34

God's hands . I

15:36

must admit that it is unnerving

15:39

, but it is the truth

15:41

. I hope I'm

15:43

reading this right . I hope God is pleased

15:46

. I hope what we've done has

15:48

served you with something that makes you better

15:51

and connects you more

15:53

with God . A

15:55

few weeks before I opened up the website , I had

15:57

the fear nobody would show up . I

16:00

felt like last year was a fluke . I

16:03

felt like this would end up being one huge letdown

16:05

, but that

16:08

isn't what happened at all . At least

16:10

from what I can see . It

16:12

seems to have worked Again

16:14

. I'm grateful , but

16:18

I hope you were better , because

16:20

we did it . I

16:23

hope we've done something on the podcast that

16:25

makes you think about God deeper . I

16:28

hope the efforts that have gone into this have

16:32

helped you to be good

16:34

and do good , because

16:38

I think that's something that truly matters . But

16:42

ultimately , if you

16:44

seek after God , he's

16:47

promised to be there for you

16:49

. As

16:52

I'm driving home , I'm

16:54

looking at 15-year-old Kent and 13-year-old

16:57

Abby in the rearview mirror . My

16:59

two older kids , Emma 21

17:02

, and Jake , 20 , are

17:04

in the process of leaving the nest . They

17:07

don't take these kinds of trips with us very often because

17:11

, well , in large

17:13

part , they have their own lives . They're

17:16

getting into the business of supporting themselves , setting

17:19

up relationships that matter and making

17:22

their relationship with God themselves , and I'm seeing them

17:24

do that . I'm seeing them do that . That's

17:28

kind of cool . Emma's

17:30

planning a wedding , but Katie

17:32

and I both know the more

17:34

important bit of that is

17:37

launching a marriage . Jake

17:39

is trying on some career fields in college

17:41

. Katie and I know

17:43

they'll both have problems , but

17:46

the same God who takes care of us will

17:49

make them grow as well if

17:51

they will choose to trust him . I

17:55

hope we've taught them that I

17:57

think we have , but

18:00

as long as I can I'll

18:03

try to point them that way . I'm

18:06

just glad God lets us

18:08

learn so much from

18:11

stuff that just happens on

18:13

the way home . As

18:16

for the good thing I'm thinking about , I've

18:20

overcome with so many kindnesses and

18:23

good teaching and Godly people

18:25

. I'm just going to have

18:27

to go with that . If you weren't able

18:29

to attend the conference , let

18:32

me answer the number one question I've gotten . Yes

18:34

, there will be videos you can see in case you missed or

18:38

want to see a session again . No

18:40

, there's no charge . The

18:43

content server that I

18:45

used in order to create the conference generates a mailing list

18:47

from the registrants . If you registered for

18:49

the conference , you'll

18:51

get those links as soon as they're available

18:53

. If you weren't able to attend at all , make

18:59

sure you go to wwwbalancingthecristenlifecom and

19:02

sign up for the newsletter . I'll

19:04

take the mailing list from Hoover and

19:06

the mailing list that I get from the website , combine

19:12

those and send it out to those

19:14

people . Second , Adam

19:17

Schenks and I are working on a conference book

19:19

composed of material written by the presenters

19:21

. I'll make an announcement in

19:23

about a month or so about

19:26

its availability . Yes , that

19:28

will not be free , because it takes

19:30

some time and it takes some expense . We're

19:33

new to the book publishing thing , or at least I

19:35

am , so we'll

19:37

be learning it , but

19:39

we'll also get it out there . Finally

19:42

, yes , we're going to do

19:44

it all again . If

19:46

you attended the conference , I planned to have

19:48

a survey to see what you thought . Yes

19:51

, Jay , I got your excellent suggestions

19:54

and planned to implement several

19:56

of them , but I've heard informally

19:59

from many of you and I can't wait to start

20:01

working on the next one . Speaking

20:03

of that , it will again

20:05

be at the end of July . The

20:08

theme of this one will be heaven

20:11

citizens , and at least

20:13

one keynote speaker will be Hal

20:15

Hammons . There will

20:17

be more details coming , but this

20:20

week I just want to

20:22

focus on what we can

20:24

do to improve the next one . So

20:27

until next time , let's

20:30

be good and do good .

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