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This is exactly right.

0:06

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and it is difficult as heck

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to find a doctor that you can

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trust. I think that that's one of the most difficult things

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as an older gentleman

0:18

as a dad, you know? Because you

0:20

just don't like, you can ask people, but I don't

0:22

know if I trust my friends. They

0:25

don't have the best health. No,

0:27

everyone has these health issues that

0:29

they worry about or wonder about, or and they don't

0:32

know who to talk to. That's

0:34

why I'm so excited that we have

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1:24

Bananas. This Is Actually

1:26

Happening is a podcast that features extraordinary

1:29

true stories of life-changing events told

1:32

by the people who live them. In a special

1:34

five-part series called Point Blank,

1:36

This Is Actually Happening sheds a light on

1:39

the forgotten spree killings of Rancho

1:41

Tejama.

1:41

this is actually happening wherever

1:44

you get your podcasts.

2:00

Would you believe me? Driving

2:04

me bananas, baby, bananas, banana,

2:07

nana, driving me bananas,

2:09

baby, bananas, banana, nana.

2:12

Hey, guys, gals, non-binary

2:15

pals, welcome to a mini-soda

2:17

of bananas. Hello, Scotty.

2:20

Hey, Kurtie B. What's up, man? Not

2:23

much. What is up? What is up? Are you

2:25

watching The Patient on FX and Hulu?

2:27

I am watching The Patient on FX. I love that show. Yeah,

2:30

it's pretty good. It's surprising that

2:34

it is still keeping my

2:36

interest, because of

2:38

the fact of its constraints

2:41

in time and space. I agree. It

2:43

makes me happy, though. I like when things

2:45

that should be getting made get made. I like

2:48

when movies do well that they're like, wow, a

2:50

comedy made $100 million. You're

2:52

like, well, it should. Oh, I have a funny story for

2:54

you.

2:54

Oh, OK. When I'm

2:58

bored and home alone don't have work to do, I watch scary

3:00

movies. I watch horror movies, I have shutter,

3:02

I have everything. And so yesterday,

3:06

Barbarians

3:07

came up on screen, I was like, I'm gonna

3:09

buy it right now. So I buy this movie, I turn it on,

3:11

I start watching, and it's a thriller,

3:14

and I'm watching, and I'm watching, and I'm

3:16

like, I know Kurt's gonna be in this at some point,

3:19

and then I don't recognize anybody in it,

3:21

and then the movie doesn't do, everybody

3:23

had told me that Barbarian about like an Airbnb

3:26

or something and I'm like this isn't about that at all

3:28

but kind of is and then 30 minutes

3:30

in I just pause it and realize that there is

3:32

a movie called barbarians with an

3:35

S that came out last

3:37

year and

3:37

I downloaded

3:39

the wrong movie waiting for something cool to

3:42

happen waiting to see Zack Krieger waiting

3:44

to see you waiting to see anything scary

3:47

and the movie I watch not very good so

3:49

Pananimals if you want to support Kurt and see him

3:52

in a surprising hit

3:54

horror movie called Barbary Inn Singular.

3:57

Wait till it's streaming because it's not now and...

4:00

Somebody got $14.99 out of this old dog. $14.99 for

4:03

barbarians? Well,

4:05

that's why I thought it was your movie. It

4:08

is like a dark, scary movie. I

4:11

did turn it off because I wasn't really enjoying

4:13

it, but it opens with a guy jogging and there's a dead

4:16

fox. And then the dead fox kind of

4:18

comes back to life and yips at him

4:20

and snaps at him. And then he goes back home from

4:22

the jog and the fox is somehow in his kitchen

4:25

and dying there. And so I'm like, OK,

4:27

they're setting a weird tone here. I know

4:30

Kurt's movie shot in Bulgaria or wherever,

4:32

and I was like, okay, this is very European

4:34

feeling. It's just not very

4:37

good. So anyways,

4:39

now I'll just double down and buy a barbarian

4:41

when it's on. Yeah, baby.

4:45

I'm excited that my special is out in

4:47

the world. Oh, speaking of TV shows

4:49

people should watch,

4:51

dude, Res Dogs, I just finished the second

4:53

season, and it's

4:56

reservation dogs. It is so good.

4:59

And it is like, I can't

5:02

get over how much I love it. I think it's my favorite

5:05

comedy of, because

5:07

it's like, it's half dramatic, but also it's in that

5:10

FX comedy way. Yeah, they're awesome. It's

5:13

just so good. And the ending of

5:15

the second season is beautiful. And I was

5:17

crying my eyes out and so good. That's

5:20

really good. I'm glad to hear

5:23

that. It's rare. Oh,

5:25

FX makes the best shows. That's what we're ultimately saying. Those

5:27

guys, I don't even like pitching there anymore because

5:29

I'm like, this isn't good enough for you guys. You

5:32

know it, I know it.

5:35

Everybody knows what's going on. Look at

5:37

all your great shows on the wall while I talk

5:39

to you about it. Yeah, much more original,

5:42

higher concepts, smarter shows with better

5:44

cast. I'm over here, it's like, it's

5:46

the Ham family. It's a legacy of

5:48

making Ham. And then

5:50

Bearers on the Wall, Patience

5:53

on the Wall. like it's thick

5:55

through thick and thin they slice them together and

5:57

they're like oh god why this is going so

6:00

terribly. Then it really starts

6:02

to spiral. But also think about like

6:04

the bear. The bear is like, well,

6:08

pitching that show, like it's like it's

6:10

all tone.

6:12

Do you know what I mean? People have pitched that show 100 times before.

6:15

People have pitched that show.

6:18

Like somebody dies and somebody inherits

6:20

a restaurant. They have to run the restaurant. That's

6:23

like that's been done billions of one

6:25

billion times. Yeah. And

6:27

it's I don't understand how you pitch it and just

6:29

be like well it's tone though it's the tone is different

6:32

it's up sure it's the creator has enough cred

6:34

where they go all right this person knows what they're doing

6:36

oh I

6:37

have one interesting thing this is good thing

6:39

to say on the mini so it's a really test who

6:42

pays to listen to one d

6:45

plus

6:46

a friend of mine Lee was

6:49

like hey there's this bar

6:51

in Los Angeles that they're

6:53

gonna sell the building so it's only gonna be around

6:55

for maybe three months maybe six months, maybe

6:58

a year. Do you want to take it over

7:01

for three months, six months, or a year as

7:03

a theme? And I said, I want to open a bar

7:05

called the North Pole in Los Angeles

7:07

that is Christmas theme year round till

7:09

it closes. So I don't have

7:12

the yes yet. He's going to look at it, but already

7:14

has the beer and wine. But anyways,

7:16

so there, I would say right now there's

7:18

a 50-50 chance I'll be opening a

7:21

bar in LA sometime in the next few months,

7:23

complete Christmas year round, on like over

7:26

the top called the North Pole. And

7:28

I'll bartend as

7:29

much as I can, just so we make a buttload of

7:31

money and you can come do a comedy show there if you want.

7:33

Oh hell yeah. Or whatever, you can show your special there.

7:36

People can do birthdays there and uh. Oh

7:39

my god, I would totally do a premiere party there. Yeah,

7:42

so I'll let you know and I'll let all the bananas

7:44

know and if anybody's coming to LA, I'll make it very

7:46

clear on the main pod if it goes through.

7:48

But it just is one of those things where the

7:51

owners love my friend who already

7:53

has a bar in a different property own.

7:56

They're like, we're going to put this thing on the market at some point.

7:58

But in

7:59

some money, you guys want to make some money,

8:01

do you want to do a pop-up bar?" And I'm like, yes,

8:03

yes I do. Dude, such a great idea. Wouldn't that be the

8:06

best? Yeah, that's so dumb. Okay.

8:08

Well, that's my confession.

8:11

I will come by as Santa Claus, like

8:13

every... Bartender Santa, come in and just

8:15

hang out.

8:16

Okay, so we do

8:19

your stories, your confessions. The prompt

8:21

from two weeks ago was social

8:23

media mistakes or blaming others?

8:27

Very fun. Sorry, I

8:29

do have an idea for your bar. Oh please. Is if you

8:31

can have a velvet roped area

8:34

that doesn't go, like there's a velvet rope to like

8:36

a hallway that's just like whatever, it's employees

8:38

or it's like a toilet or whatever.

8:41

Once a day someone as Santa

8:43

comes in, no one's allowed

8:45

to look at him or talk to him and

8:48

then like a security group walks

8:50

with him just to that velvet area and

8:52

like goes in but everyone's like don't talk to

8:54

him, Santa's coming through and that just happens

8:56

and that's it and And then they like leave out the book. Great

8:58

idea. That's a great idea. And.

9:01

So it's a celebrity

9:02

at that bar. And social media moment, which

9:04

is what we're all about on bananas. Speaking

9:08

of social media moments, yeah,

9:10

confessions were blaming others for social media mistakes.

9:12

Here's a quickie to get us started.

9:14

I once responded to a free pearl

9:17

necklace ad on Craigslist. It wasn't

9:19

until years later I realized what it meant.

9:22

You're absolved. Be careful

9:24

out there. Especially on Craigslist, my God.

9:29

I mean, like, responded like, yes, how much is

9:31

it? Well, yes, I would

9:34

enjoy and I'm paying you for this. OK.

9:37

If you don't know what it is, Google it, but

9:40

make sure there are no children around. OK, this

9:42

one, I think, is a Kurt Brown roller fastball.

9:45

OK. When

9:46

I was 17, I had my very first

9:48

dramatic breakup and had to tell

9:50

all my social media friends about it. So

9:53

I posted, quote,

9:54

Adam and I are borking up, borking.

9:57

It haunts me every year when it comes

9:59

up on my- Facebook memories. We're

10:03

borking up. Why

10:05

is that so good? I

10:09

screenshotted that one so fast, like, hey, guys,

10:11

I'm having a really rough week. Kurt and I are

10:14

we borked up and I

10:17

almost I almost vomited. That was so

10:19

funny. Oh, man, we're borked

10:21

up. Yes, that is

10:24

right up my alley. That's working up

10:26

my alley. You had the neck.

10:28

Oh, porking up,

10:30

because also the O and the R are so far

10:33

away from each other. They're

10:37

so far away from each other. Yes. E

10:39

is far away from O. Nothing's near O.

10:42

And bork is not a word. Yes. So not

10:44

an autocorrect. That's right. Sorry.

10:47

And it's like this is a young person.

10:49

Oh, broken. It's broken. They say

10:51

broken, not breaking up. No, broken.

10:53

Yeah, they wanted breaking up. They said borking.

10:56

So the O and the R got swapped. But it's

10:58

like when you're young and you're trying to get

11:00

a little sympathy from your extended friend community

11:03

online and then you just blow it so

11:05

hard.

11:05

But good on that, but an animal for not

11:07

deleting it and leaving it up there. Hank,

11:12

Adam and I are borking up. Here's

11:16

another one. One time I screenshotted

11:19

this guy's messages who specifically

11:21

said he hated screenshoting and

11:23

I sent them back to him.

11:25

That's fine. You put it right back in

11:27

his face. There you go. No problem. This

11:29

must have been on Snapchat, I'm assuming.

11:31

I guess so. Everything's disappeared. Oh,

11:33

yeah. Well, I know. Thank god

11:36

I'm not on that.

11:37

Oof. There was a brief time where Comedy Central paid

11:40

us to have Snapchat, a company, a house

11:42

party. And because

11:44

we had to like every week when the new episodes would

11:46

come out, we'd have to share stuff. And then as soon

11:48

as that was done, I was like, what am I doing? This

11:51

is just troublemaking 101.

11:53

Let's see,

11:56

there's a couple really fun ones in here.

12:00

Oh, there's a good revenge one. Okay,

12:02

let me find this one. Okay.

12:05

I don't know if this counts as a personal social

12:07

media mistake, but several

12:10

years ago, I found out my long distance

12:13

ex-boyfriend was cheating on me through

12:16

his partner's Instagram and blog that

12:19

he shared on his main socials

12:21

rather than his other accounts. I

12:23

didn't mean... Okay, okay. I found

12:25

out long distance ex-boyfriend is cheating

12:28

on me through his other partner's

12:30

Instagram and blog.

12:34

That he shared on his main

12:36

socials rather than his other accounts.

12:39

So this what I'm guessing.

12:41

Yes. Okay. I think

12:43

I think I understand. He had a secret. Yes.

12:46

Instagram account. Yes. That

12:48

was for his other

12:50

life in whatever city he.

12:52

Yes. That's what I'm thinking.

12:55

Mmmhmm. I didn't

12:57

immediately confront him because he'd already

12:59

bought plane tickets to meet me in

13:01

Asheville. I told him

13:04

no worries about renting a car because I would come pick

13:06

him up because I was gonna arrive

13:08

there the night before.

13:10

Instead, I let him fly several thousand

13:12

miles while I drove down to Disney World.

13:15

I let him call me for several hours after he

13:17

landed before I finally answered. He

13:19

was furious and asked where the fuck I was

13:21

and that I needed to come pick him up.

13:24

I said, why don't you

13:26

ask Ashley to come pick you up? That is not

13:28

her real name.

13:30

He tried to save it, but I was not interested.

13:33

I left him stranded in Asheville with no car,

13:35

no booked hotel, no friends, and no idea where

13:37

to go. He could still be there to this day

13:39

for all I know.

13:41

Wow, that's pretty good. That's

13:43

pretty damn good. That's pretty

13:45

damn good, also to go to Disney World. You

13:48

got to feel good. Happiest place on

13:50

Earth. Yeah.

13:53

That is good revenge. That is like

13:56

a true bust it. And

13:58

it takes a lot of.

14:00

serial killer patients to pull

14:02

that one off. It really does. It takes up a lot of emotional

14:04

control to pull that one off. For real,

14:06

and then also to not answer the phone for

14:08

a couple hours, or even to turn it off. Like

14:11

that is, that's masterful. I do

14:13

not want to ever cross that person. Yes,

14:16

but it's interesting that they like Disney

14:19

World, which sort of goes into the

14:21

adults who like Disney World. Might

14:24

be wired a little different. Oh

14:29

man, alright,

14:30

give me a... I do have

14:32

one here. Give us one. Here it is.

14:35

I've been waiting for the right podcast to send this story

14:37

into and I'm happy to say that Bananas is for

14:39

sure the right one. Yes! Let

14:42

me start by saying this story is 100% true but you probably figured

14:44

that out by the end. That's cool.

14:46

Context, 2007. Alright.

14:48

I'm 24,

14:50

traveling for a consulting job. One of these

14:52

gigs where you're in a different city every night and exhausted.

14:55

It's also the pre-smartphone, pre-Uber

14:57

era, so I'm at the mercy of the taxi driver at the

14:59

airport. I get into Omaha, Nebraska

15:02

at 11 p.m. on a Wednesday night, get the first

15:04

cab to take

15:06

me to my hotel downtown. It's an uneventful

15:08

ride, and we get from the airport to the downtown area

15:10

without incident. Suddenly we're going through

15:12

an intersection, and the cab driver slams

15:14

on the brakes, and there's a loud bam! He's

15:17

hit something in the street, and there is a gray substance

15:19

all over the windshield. A guy

15:21

on a bicycle shows up quickly, the cab driver

15:23

gets out, and they begin trying to figure out what exactly

15:25

he hit. Yeah. The cops get there

15:27

in record time, and I'm left in the back of this minivan

15:30

taxi, sitting in the center seat, clutching my

15:32

laptop bag, wide-eyed, watching everything

15:34

happening outside, trying to make

15:37

out exactly what is happening through all

15:39

the mystery material that's covering the windshield.

15:41

Yeah, that's interesting. Not having any

15:43

clue where I was, I decided to just sit there while

15:45

they did a full accident report. It was about 30 minutes

15:48

in when they finally figured out what exactly

15:50

he had hit, a 20-gallon bucket

15:53

full of sauerkraut. Amazing. Yep,

15:56

that kind of sauerkraut. and it was

15:58

everywhere in the street on

16:00

cabin all over some bystanders.

16:02

Wow. What

16:04

a horrible moment. You're just hanging out. You're

16:07

just hanging out at a cab

16:09

hits a 20 pound, 20 pounds. So

16:13

that's like, we all know what a five gallon

16:15

bucket is. Yeah.

16:17

20 gallon bucket. A 20 gallon

16:19

bucket. You just imagine. 20 gallon bucket. That's

16:21

a, that's like up to your chest.

16:24

A huge bucket of sauerkraut.

16:26

Maybe somebody just borked up with you. Maybe

16:28

you're walking home after getting borking up

16:30

with and you're just getting crowded all

16:32

over the place to get borked and crowded

16:34

in one night. Same day. Oh, man. God,

16:38

you don't want to get borked and crowded.

16:40

After a laugh with the cops cab driver jumps

16:43

back in the taxi, which is when I finally noticed the meter

16:45

was running the entire time. Boo. Fucking

16:48

this. I hate this. Yeah. My $15 cab ride was now over $120. Yes.

16:54

Like people forget.

16:56

Oh, yeah. Like, people bemoan

16:59

like the death of the taxi

17:01

cab industry by Uber and Lyft. Yeah. Taxi

17:04

cab drivers would take every opportunity

17:07

to fuck you out of money. Oh,

17:09

yeah. And it was, it drove me crazy.

17:12

Well, there was no accountability. There was no accountability.

17:14

It was like, oh, this is the only game in town. Or who

17:16

did you call? Yeah,

17:19

my first time ever in Los Angeles, I

17:21

think you and I were pitching an animated show to

17:23

Fox, of Fox maybe like 12 years ago, 13 years ago. And

17:27

I came out and we were staying with our buddy, Rob. And

17:29

it was either before you

17:31

got there or after you had left, something like that. But

17:34

Rob and I went to a party. And it was my first

17:36

sort of like Hollywood party. There were

17:38

some actors there. It was all comedy people, which

17:40

was really cool. And it was up

17:43

off of Mall Hall and Drive, which for those

17:45

who are not out here, it's very windy

17:47

roads to get up there. It's very isolated.

17:51

A lot of times cell phones didn't work up there. so

17:53

isolated. And

17:55

we're all drinking, hanging out, I'm having conversations,

17:58

we're laughing, and then the party starts to die.

18:00

And then there's like the two factions of the people

18:02

that are like we're gonna go to a club or Keep

18:04

partying somewhere and somebody else's house and

18:07

I had driven there and I was pretty drunk so I was

18:09

like I'm gonna leave my car

18:11

and I'm gonna call a cab and So

18:14

I got it from the owner of the house and

18:16

he's like, oh, yeah, just call Bell Cab or whatever it was

18:19

And

18:19

so I called and the guys like sure 20 minutes. So

18:22

I wait 45 minutes I'm talking to some

18:24

woman and she's like smoking a cigarette her

18:26

ride comes and then I I

18:29

go back in the house because my cell phone didn't ring,

18:31

and there's like three people there. And I had to be like, sorry,

18:33

guys, the cab didn't come. Do you care if I call again? And

18:35

so he's like, yeah, OK. Nobody knew

18:37

who I was of the people remaining. Oh,

18:40

no. So I'm like, I call again, and

18:42

they're like, 20 minutes. So then I wait

18:44

outside, and then I hear the doors lock

18:46

at some point. And so I'm just outside

18:49

of

18:49

a house of some person I don't know. Oh,

18:52

my god.

18:53

And about another hour and a half

18:55

passes, and it gets pretty cold in LA at night.

18:58

I was like, okay, and I can kind

19:00

of see that in the distance, maybe

19:02

the sun is starting to rise a little bit.

19:05

And then eventually I'm like,

19:07

I'm sober, I'm driving. And so I just drove

19:09

my car home because these two cabs took

19:12

over three and a half hours to show up and

19:14

I had no other, yeah. So

19:16

I had ended up sitting in my car and then I'm

19:18

like,

19:19

I'm not drunk, it's been so long,

19:21

I'm going. And so I just drove on down

19:24

the hill. It was so frustrating,

19:26

but there was no accountability.

19:28

There's nothing you could do.

19:30

And then I don't remember if you remember

19:32

this era, but there was briefly

19:34

a service in LA, and might

19:36

have been in New York, where they would

19:38

ride a bike to where you were,

19:41

put a folding bike in your trunk, and

19:43

drive you to your house. And so the

19:45

next time I did that, I don't remember what

19:47

it was called, but I laughed the entire

19:49

time. Sometimes it's a fold-up

19:52

scooter. Sometimes it was an electric fold-up

19:54

scooter that would just go in the trunk of your car.

19:56

It's so smart. It was so

19:59

funny. And it was. like they couldn't figure

20:01

out the connection of phone to Uber, phone

20:03

to Lyft or whatever it is now. It was like,

20:05

well, what if we get a non-drunk

20:08

person to drive a

20:10

very drunk person's car and

20:12

then we get them, which we're guessing

20:14

is their destination, and then they

20:16

get on their little folding bike and ride away into

20:18

the darkness. I

20:21

remember the being the we're

20:24

in LA for one of the first the first time

20:26

with Lauren. Yeah. So we had just started dating

20:29

and we went to some thing

20:30

and and

20:32

we met Eugene Merman out at

20:36

the bar right down the street here but

20:38

it was like a part of East LA that I'd

20:40

never East East Northeast LA yeah

20:42

that had never been to before I've been to Silver Lake

20:44

but I'd never been past that right and

20:48

and we're drinking as Edendale we're

20:50

drinking outside love that place I was pretty drunk

20:53

been smoking cigarettes you're cool

20:55

and and Lauren was like had agreed

20:57

that she would drive home because I like drove

20:59

us to where we were going or whatever. Yeah.

21:02

And so we're driving.

21:04

We come up to a red arrow,

21:07

a red left turn arrow. And

21:10

it's its own lane. And

21:12

both of us don't drive. Oh,

21:15

boy. Because we're in New York City. Yeah, New Yorkers, right. And

21:18

I was just like, yeah, yeah, you just stop, and then you

21:20

go.

21:21

And she's like, OK. So she just drove through

21:23

a red arrow, which is

21:26

obviously driving through a red light. And

21:28

a cop was directly behind us. Oh,

21:30

no. And then pulled us over. Oh,

21:33

god. And took her out of the car. You're kidding.

21:35

And Lauren, she was just furious.

21:38

And she was just crazy.

21:41

But then the cop, and then another cop started

21:43

coming over to question me, going like,

21:45

hey, you, uh, what's

21:46

going on, pal? You drunk? And I was like,

21:49

I'm wasted. Yeah,

21:52

and I'm buckled in the passenger seat, so

21:54

eat my butt, dude. And I was like, that's why

21:56

she's driving. He's like, you've been smoking cigarettes?

22:00

Why is it? I'm in my 30s motherfucker. I've

22:02

been smoking a ton of cigarettes. I've

22:05

been drinking, I've been smoking, and

22:07

I'm not driving. Yeah. And I think

22:09

they just were like,

22:11

would I just put her back in the car

22:13

to take that man home? Good. And

22:16

got away with it. Yes. Did not

22:18

get a ticket, it was amazing. The wild

22:20

man defense. I hate that

22:21

stuff. The wild man defense. Yes. When

22:24

I was in Mississippi, my girlfriend at the

22:27

time down there, her sister was

22:29

not a drinker and she would

22:31

always designate drive us and it was a wonderful

22:33

thing and Jackie was driving us home from

22:36

a family gathering where all

22:38

of a sudden had a few beers and somebody had brewed

22:41

us beer like a six pack in the garage so

22:43

we had a six pack of bottles and we

22:46

drive it's about a three-mile

22:48

drive from one house back to the house we

22:50

were staying in and the cops pulled

22:51

us over Jackie wasn't speeding

22:54

she wasn't drunk she didn't have a single sip,

22:56

they pull us over, they're like, what are you guys up to

22:58

tonight? And she's super

23:01

polite, like, oh, officer, we're just driving home tonight,

23:03

blah, blah, blah. We live right around the corner on

23:05

this street.

23:07

And the other cop comes around, sees me in the backseat,

23:09

and is like, you guys been partying? I'm like, no,

23:11

sir. He's like, you guys been drinking? I'm like,

23:14

no, sir. And then he shines a flashlight

23:16

in, and between us in the middle backseat

23:18

is the six-pack of beer completely

23:21

capped off and everything. And he goes, there

23:24

it is, reaches in, steals the

23:26

beer

23:27

and then walks away and then they leave

23:29

us alone. And so I'm like,

23:32

what is happening? I'm with three people from

23:34

that town. We get back to the house.

23:37

They don't mention it to anybody else. And

23:39

I'm like, are you guys serious? And they're like, what? I'm

23:41

like, they just stole that beer. They

23:44

stole Hall's beer. The guy's name was Hall. And

23:47

they were like, oh yeah. I was like, they

23:50

can't do that. I was like, you can't just take beer

23:52

out of a car. And they were like, well, it's a dry

23:54

county. I'm like, you can drive, we're all

23:56

in our early 20s. And

23:59

to them it was totally not.

24:00

I was like

24:02

tomorrow morning I'm calling lawyers. I'm

24:05

suing. I'm calling the C.L.U. I took

24:07

a six pack for us. I'm calling the ATF.

24:09

Alcohol, tobacco, firearm needs to know

24:11

that I'm allowed. But

24:13

they were so natural about it. And

24:16

it was one of those things that like hours later I was

24:19

way angrier than I should have been, but I was

24:21

just stunned. I was like, oh, there it is. And just stole

24:23

a six pack of Homebrew. And then drank

24:25

it in the car, I'm sure. So let me finish this

24:28

story for Lisa. Absolutely. So

24:31

she finds out it's 100 toner dollars. I figure I'll deal

24:33

with the driver when we get to the hotel. So he puts taxi

24:35

and gear attempts to clean off the windshield with the wipers.

24:38

And we continue our journey straight

24:40

across the intersection to

24:42

my hotel.

24:43

Yes, I had been sitting in a

24:45

parked cab for over

24:48

an hour while my hotel was about 90 feet

24:51

from where we were. Oh, come on. Not

24:53

only did the cab driver not bother to clue me into this fact

24:55

and the stupid sauerkraut coming from seeing

24:57

the hotel through the windshield. He demanded

25:00

the entire $120 fee. Not

25:02

cool. I politely informed him that he was getting

25:04

the original amount with tip and found it out of

25:06

the now awful smelling abomination of a taxi

25:09

into the hotel. This story is a great

25:11

reminder why I don't miss the pre-smartphone days and

25:13

why I started

25:13

printing off directions from Mac Quist for everyone. Ha

25:16

ha ha ha. The

25:18

good old days. Thank you. Oh,

25:21

it's actually Leslie. Thank you, Leslie. Leslie.

25:24

You bringing that to us. And this has been

25:26

another mini-soad from Bananas,

25:29

folks. Thank you, Scotty. Thank you,

25:31

Kurtie B. Thanks to all the Bananas who listened to

25:33

the mini-soads. And we'll see you at Minneapolis

25:36

and Kansas City if this comes out before it.

25:39

It probably won't. Sounds good to me.

25:42

Banana. Hey, hon.

25:54

Bananas is an exactly right media

25:56

production. Our producer and engineer is Katie

25:58

Levine. The catchy bananas theme

26:01

song was composed and performed by Kay Han.

26:03

Artwork for bananas was designed by Travis

26:05

Millard. And our benevolent overlords

26:08

are the great Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark.

26:10

And Lisa Maggett is our full human, not

26:12

a robot intern. Bananas.

26:22

Listen, follow and leave us a review on Amazon

26:24

Music, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you

26:27

get your podcasts. Hey, Prime members,

26:29

did you know you can listen to Bananas early

26:31

and ad-free on Amazon Music? Download

26:34

the Amazon Music app today.

26:36

You can support Bananas by filling out a survey

26:38

at Wondery.com slash survey. Jill

26:41

Evans has it all. A big house, fast

26:44

car, and a great career as a decorated

26:46

police sergeant in Wales. But when

26:48

it comes to love, she can never seem to get things

26:50

right. And after multiple failed engagements,

26:52

Jill's starting to think it's never gonna happen for her.

26:55

That is until she connects online with

26:57

a charming, handsome, successful man

26:59

named Dean Jenkins. From the outside,

27:02

there may be some red flags, but Jill doesn't care.

27:04

He is the one. And

27:06

just six months in, Jill finds out she is

27:08

pregnant, and they make plans to spend

27:10

the rest of their lives together.

27:11

But the night after Halloween,

27:14

Jill receives a shocking text that will change

27:16

everything, and what she reads threatens to

27:18

take away her dreams of happiness, her

27:20

career, and maybe even her freedom. Wondery

27:22

and Novel's new podcast Stolen Hearts

27:25

tells the intricate love story of Jill and

27:27

Dean and how opposites really do attract.

27:29

Follow Stolen Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever

27:31

you get your podcasts. And hey Prime members,

27:34

you can binge the entire series app free

27:36

on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon

27:38

Music app today. Bye.

27:40

Bye.