In which we explore over-hyped apps; stupid stories; authors great, small, and quite frankly misanthropic; cat-like grammar; and more! to bring you the ultimate guide to actually learning a foreign language so that you can travel to countries where people don't want to speak to you in their native tongue; read books in the original when they've already been pretty decently translated into English; barely understand B+ European TV; and turn otherwise simple, everyday tasks into almost unconquerable obstacles - all in one episode, well-described in one English run-on sentence (Brad, don't you dare edit this for grammar!) . . .