I recently found this article:

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/05/why-self-compassion-works-better-than-self-esteem/481473/

through the wonderful Kamin Samuel (http://kaminsamuel.com/)

So, when we have self-compassion, when we fail, it’s not “poor me,” it’s “well, everyone fails.” Everyone struggles. This is what it means to be human. And that really radically alters how we relate to failure and difficulty. When we say, “Oh, this is normal, this is part of what it means to human,” that opens the door to then grow from the experience. If we feel like it’s abnormal, this shouldn’t be happening, then we start blaming ourselves.

Some of the most real, honest, vulnerable and yet comforting times in my life are when my coach, friends and even people I have never met on the internet let me know that what I am going through has happened to them, sharing stories of their experience which help me to realise that I am not alone or crazy in what I am experiencing. I feel relieved and remember that it’s all part of being human.

I love to share stories with my clients of my own failures and examples of when I have felt and been through exactly the same things as them. It brings us closer together and levels the playing field so we can feel the feels and then look at what they want to create moving forward.

The next time you “fail” or are struggling, remember that you are not the only one and are most definitely not alone. As the article says, it’s not “as if everyone else in the world were living perfectly happy, unproblematic lives”. And yes, I know, that’s not what instagram and facebook show you, AND that is the highlight reel. Please remember that, it’s only someone else’s highlight reel.

I also love what Jason Goldberg said about treating everything like an experiment. If you do this, you cannot fail, you simply get a result! Don’t like the result? Thats ok, you can experiment again and change it! It takes the emotion out of it and is wonderful empowering.

What will you create?!

Be Deliberate, failing and all!

– Emma