Today I’ll talk about something that's often portrayed as a messy and contentious process - divorce. But it doesn't have to be that way. In fact, there are many ways to make the separation process amicable, even if you and your spouse are not on the best of terms.

One of the best ways to achieve an amicable divorce is to hire a lawyer who has dispute resolution training. This extra training will help your lawyer keep you out of court, negotiate a settlement, and save you money on legal fees. When you're in the process of hiring a lawyer, make sure to ask about their dispute resolution qualifications.

Another crucial aspect of achieving an amicable divorce is communication. It's important to keep communication lines open with your spouse, even if they are not receptive to it. This will help the process move forward and avoid unnecessary litigation. One way to ensure communication is to practice the BIFF method, which stands for brief, informative, friendly, and firm. This technique can be especially helpful when dealing with a high-conflict spouse.

It's also important to remember that even though your relationship with your spouse is changing, you are still a family. This mindset can help you approach the separation process with respect and care, which can lead to a more amicable outcome. Additionally, if you have children, it's essential to keep them in mind throughout the process. 

Remember that your spouse is still their parent, and it's important to respect their relationship with your children. Keeping this in mind can help you approach negotiations with your spouse in a more positive and collaborative manner.

Key takeaways from the episode: 

(1:22) The advantages of amicable divorce processes

(2:55) Avoiding the pitfalls of court proceedings

(6:04) The financial advantages of choosing an amicable divorce process

(7:00) The upsides of avoiding litigation in divorce

(8:59) How mediation can benefit parents and children during divorce

(13:18) How choosing mediation can help you save time during divorce proceedings

(16:20) The impact of litigation on personal life and relationships

(22:03) The advantages of choosing a collaborative divorce process

(25:36) How hiring a lawyer with mediation experience can benefit your divorce

(31:14) How the BIFF method can help reduce conflict during divorce

(36:42) The importance of hiring the right lawyer for an amicable divorce

Here is a brief list of the 10 points that I share, discuss, and reflect upon in the video: 

1. The importance of having an amicable divorce

2. Hiring a lawyer with dispute resolution training

3. Being communicative with the other party

4. Remembering that you are still a family, even if it looks different than expected

5. Managing your expectations

6. Using the Biff method of communication (brief, informative, friendly, firm)

7. Practicing respect, compassion, and care toward your ex-spouse

8. Not losing sight of the fact that the other parent is half of your children

9. Getting rid of a combative lawyer if necessary

10. Focusing on the goal of your future self post-divorce

Much love, 

Val Hemminger  I hope these tips will be helpful in understanding how to achieve an amicable divorce. Remember that even if you and your spouse are not on the best of terms, it's possible to approach the separation process with respect, care, and a focus on the future. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to me!

Work With Me! 

About Val 

Val Hemminger is based in Westshore, British Columbia, and has been a family divorce lawyer for over 25 years. She runs two different podcasts, "Be The Best Divorce Lawyer" and "The Better Divorce Project." 

She helps families navigate through the rough terrain of divorce with ease and grace. Her secret to success? A unique and powerful approach that prioritizes an emotionally rewarding resolution for families while keeping court as a last resort. Val is a skilled advocate who will fight for your best interests every step of the way.

Websites & Socials 

• The Better Divorce Project

• Instagram 

• Facebook 

• YouTube 

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