Been thinking a lot about what made it so hard to come back from the pause I took on this podcast... amidst many physical & mental health reasons, I also battled my perfectionism.

This deep fear that nothing that wasn't perfect, scrubbed clean of all my flaws, could ever be presented to the world.

In an age where everything is monetized - even, maybe especially, our communities and our connections - it feels increasingly difficult to do something messily. To do something before I'm good at it - in order to get better at it.

To be public with my imperfections.
To create something not to be sold, not to cultivate an impressive following.
To follow the desire to express myself without knowing where it will lead me.

This feels like the opposite of capitalism, which in our American culture has turned every instinct, every hobby, every human need - even creativity and connection - into something whose sole purpose is to make money.

And I end up grappling with the "purpose" of creating if I can't show on a Profit & Loss statement its value. 

Worth has become defined by productivity, and by monetary compensation.

How do we reclaim the human imperative to tell our stories? To dance, to sing, to write and perform, to paint and cross-stitch, to build and to garden?


Now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !

Come check out the Hot Mess series on TikTok, and watch as I lose my mind - and find it again - writing, producing, and acting in a show!

#CreatingIsHealing🦋