0:02

Too Sandy, Water Too Wet.

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A podcast featuring real reviews written

0:08

by people who just need the

0:10

world to know what they think.

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Between you and me, Between you and me, I

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wanted to like this podcast. But

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I'd give it zero stars if I could.

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Howdy. Hi

0:37

everyone. Welcome to Episode 279 of

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Beach to Sandy, Water to Wet.

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We're here with a very, very,

0:44

very, very, very exciting announcement. We're

0:46

going live again. Twelve

0:49

time. We have 12 shows this summer, y'all.

0:51

That's crazy. We did eight last year, and

0:53

we're doing four extra. We're doing 12. I'm

0:58

so excited and also already so tired.

1:03

By this point, I think we'll have

1:06

the list on our website somewhere

1:08

maybe. Tickets aren't on sale

1:10

until the fifth, but I'm going to read through them now so you

1:12

know what cities we're going to. Here

1:14

we go. And I'll give the dates

1:16

as well. June 12th, Seattle, Washington, June

1:18

13th, Portland, Oregon, June

1:21

26th, Charlotte, North Carolina, June

1:23

27th, Atlanta, Georgia, July 10th,

1:26

Denver, Colorado, July 11th, Salt

1:28

Lake City, July 17th,

1:31

Columbus, Ohio, July 18th, Cincinnati,

1:34

Ohio, July 31st, Philadelphia,

1:37

August 1st, Washington, DC, August

1:40

15th, Chicago, Illinois, August

1:43

16th, St. Louis, Missouri. End

1:46

of list. You forgot to say Philadelphia.

1:48

I did not say Miss Philadelphia. I mean,

1:50

not Philadelphia. I really? Pennsylvania. Oh yeah. And

1:52

I also forgot to say Utah after Salt

1:55

Lake City. Oh, okay.

1:57

Well, so that's what we're going. I'm sorry. We're not

1:59

going to Philadelphia. I meant, or are we?

2:02

Oh my god. The roller

2:04

coaster, you're putting these Philly

2:06

people on. I'm so sorry, we are going to

2:08

Philly. I'm excited for

2:10

all those cities and I just, I

2:12

can't wait. Yeah. It's exciting because

2:14

we got some new ones that we haven't

2:17

been to before. Seattle and Portland, Charlotte, Atlanta,

2:19

Denver. Well, okay, it says

2:21

Greenwood Village. That's why I paused on a couple. Oh.

2:25

It says Greenwood Village, Colorado, and then for

2:27

Cincinnati it says Liberty Township, Ohio. So, whatever,

2:30

you get it though. Yeah, that's where Leona was.

2:33

That's so true. I think it

2:35

was at the Funny Bone, right? Yes.

2:39

In the middle of the show, people paid money. Yeah.

2:42

It was a secret show you did. Yeah,

2:44

and delivered, Leona. It was a whole

2:46

thing. You're thinking, well, officiated my wedding

2:49

and I thought, what better way to

2:51

celebrate? Yeah. But, yeah,

2:53

so tickets are on sale this whatever,

2:55

the fifth, whatever that is to you in June.

2:59

We're recording this not, or not in June,

3:01

April. June. April,

3:03

April 5th, Friday, April 5th.

3:07

But patrons actually get

3:09

pre-sale access, I believe starting

3:11

on the 3rd or 4th. Right,

3:14

so a day or two early. Either

3:16

today or tomorrow to

3:18

access tickets early.

3:21

So, yeah, and then officially on sale on the 5th. So,

3:23

we can't wait and can't wait to see you all there. It's going

3:25

to be a fun, fun, fun, fun summer. So, yeah. That's

3:30

right. And for now, we're going to read

3:32

reviews of Payt and Sip. Yes, and

3:35

your challenge from Brad was? To

3:38

find reviews where the reviewer is told they look like

3:40

a celebrity and are offended by it. Which is hilarious.

3:43

I have my

3:45

own story about that. It wasn't offensive,

3:47

but anyway. I'm

3:50

excited to share that later. But yeah, Payt and

3:52

Sip is such a good one. Okay,

3:54

so I feel like people, sometimes I think, do people

3:57

know what this is? And then I think, if my

3:59

dad listened, would he... know and the

4:01

answer is most certainly not. He probably would not know

4:03

if you said what is a paint and paint. Weirdly

4:05

by now I think I could see him knowing. I

4:08

don't know. I think he would automatically say he does

4:10

not know what it is and then like once you

4:12

start to explain it he'd be like oh

4:14

okay I know about it. You might have

4:16

got him there yeah I've never been to

4:18

one though myself so I feel like he

4:20

I haven't either. But it's it's essentially like

4:23

an outing that you can pay for

4:25

to you know drink

4:27

wine with your friends and paint along. You

4:30

don't have to like be an artist or

4:32

anything but you paint along with the instructor

4:34

and you come home with like your own

4:36

masterpiece. This is what I'm the vibe I'm

4:38

getting for most of these places. Sure

4:41

that sounds good to me. Just like a wine night

4:43

crafting wine night like my kind of time which

4:45

I mean again nobody's ever invited me to one of

4:47

these so I guess I wouldn't know

4:49

but it sounds like a fun time. Yeah yeah.

4:52

Didn't we talk about these and on that boat

4:54

boat thing and doing that for your birthday? Okay

4:57

I why didn't we talk about that was oh

4:59

that was my brain literally a challenge. That

5:03

was I uh yeah I don't

5:05

remember but it was something like where someone

5:07

uh leaves a bad review because of uh

5:10

something related to the paint and sips. Wasn't

5:13

it like they could do better than oh

5:15

maybe that sounds right yeah because I feel

5:17

like this one was oh we got on

5:19

the boat it was a river cruise in

5:21

Cincinnati and they like got on the boat

5:23

and there was no paint or

5:26

paint brushes. Oh my god okay. And they were

5:28

like what was the point of this? Yeah yeah. Um

5:32

anyway I don't know but I do vaguely remember

5:34

complaining that I had never been invited to a

5:36

paint and sipping. We talked about that. Tragically we

5:38

still haven't done that. Didn't turn the table. No

5:40

nobody still invited me so you know maybe this

5:42

will do the trick I don't know um

5:45

who wants to go for it? You go ahead. Okay

5:49

this is from Abby it's a Yelp review for

5:51

a place in Brooklyn called Art

5:53

by the Glass. Oh

5:55

two z's. Oh nice. Like by the

5:57

glass but glass. This

6:01

is a one-star review by

6:03

Elena. This

6:06

place is a scam. A total

6:08

scam, scam, scam. Scammers, scammers. Bought

6:11

tickets from Living Social, tried to

6:13

schedule many times. Tickets finally expired.

6:15

No reply sent back. Good thing.

6:17

I have evidence. Don't

6:19

worry, art by the glass.

6:22

You will face the consequences

6:24

soon enough. Remember, you never

6:26

know who's behind the computer.

6:28

Sincerely, you're legal and dutiful

6:30

citizen. Who? Dutiful

6:34

citizen. You're

6:36

dutiful citizen is doing... Like, wait,

6:38

okay. That

6:41

sign off through a whole wrench. And I already

6:43

had my thoughts. And then that sign off just

6:46

completely wiped everything out. And I'm like, wait, what

6:48

did they call themselves? And why did they call

6:50

themselves? Legal? You're

6:53

legal and dutiful. Like, I don't know if they

6:55

mean legal, as

6:57

in they have a citizen,

6:59

they've acquired citizenship, or if they're

7:02

following the law, or if they're... Yeah,

7:04

I don't know. Not following the law and they're

7:06

being sarcastic. I really can't tell. I don't know

7:08

what's going on there, but I... Okay,

7:10

anyway, yeah, that was very threatening. There was a

7:13

lot going on here. I love that they're like,

7:15

you never know who's behind the computer. And then

7:17

they're like, anyway, here's my signature. So that you

7:19

know who's behind the computer. It's like, well, okay.

7:22

It's not threatening if you then say, I'm a

7:24

legal and dutiful citizen. Yeah, no, that's true. But

7:28

the problem is that they're

7:30

not accepting

7:32

or scheduling. They

7:35

got a deal on living social. Is

7:37

that what it is? Is that like

7:40

Groupon? Yeah. I feel

7:42

this... Paint and Sips are

7:44

a prime thing on Groupon.

7:46

I feel that is such a

7:48

Groupon thing. That is like the highlight of

7:50

Groupon on the front page. Yeah. Such a

7:52

Groupon thing. Massages, I

7:54

think. And

7:57

these paint Sips. sounds

8:00

very right and I feel like

8:02

Airbnb probably

8:04

has that in their experiences tab

8:06

of like, I could see that

8:09

too. But yeah,

8:11

so I could imagine this is something that they

8:13

run into a lot where they have issues with

8:16

customers who buy things through those which I

8:19

don't know. I always feel weird about it.

8:21

It's like same when you like rent a car or

8:23

get a hotel and it's through like one of these

8:26

third party websites and then you get there and

8:28

they're like, I can't do anything about this because

8:30

you didn't book it through us. And then if

8:32

something goes wrong, then like Expedia is like, sorry.

8:34

I will say I feel the

8:38

stakes are much higher when it's travel related

8:40

and not when it's going to schedule a

8:43

paint and sip. When you're buying a plane

8:45

ticket. Buying art by the glass. And yet

8:47

here we

8:51

are with such a threatening review.

8:54

Imagine they get screwed by

8:57

expedia.com or one of these other

8:59

sites that talk about like the world

9:01

might end threat. Oh my

9:03

Lord. At least those businesses might end.

9:05

They'll become a non of vigilante. So

9:07

true. Like no more dutiful

9:10

citizen. It might've already happened. We just don't know

9:12

it. Oh shit. That was nine years ago. In

9:15

the shadows are over. Wow. Yeah. Oh

9:18

gosh. Wow. Okay. Um,

9:20

my first review was sent in

9:23

by Chelsea. She, her who sent

9:25

in a review of DIY bar

9:27

in Portland, Oregon, Portland.

9:29

That sounds like a place we're going

9:31

on our life. I'm not going to

9:33

start. Maybe somebody could invite me to

9:35

a fucking paint and sip. Yeah. Okay.

9:37

Maybe we can do it on June

9:40

14th, the night after our show at Polaris

9:42

on the 13th. Uh, we won't have anything

9:46

else going. Yeah. Okay. Here's a three star

9:48

review of this paint and sip. Great

9:52

place. If you want to make mediocre crafts,

9:55

The beer selection was good, but no amount

9:57

of alcohol will give you the patience to

9:59

finish your craft. And if you're bringing someone

10:02

here on a date, be ready to never

10:04

see them again. This place brings the worst

10:06

out a new and of riffs. Oh. My

10:08

God, what a confident maybe I don't want to go

10:10

to one of these. I thought it sounds like a

10:12

relaxing night. I. Think this reviewer of.

10:15

Feel I feel like this review or

10:17

did something not not good. Because.

10:20

It feels like the date went south, not

10:22

just because. They weren't good at. I think

10:24

it was Paulino of the review. Apollo did something

10:26

no offense ball at all unless the way you're

10:29

presenting misinformation makes me think that is if it

10:31

brought out the worse than you you might have

10:33

a thrown your cross and a while you might

10:35

have thrown it as somebody. What if the worst

10:37

and Paula is just like she's just like a

10:40

little bummed out you know and she's like had

10:42

brought out the worst I was a girl had

10:44

or as as laid I brought it. I. Brought.

10:46

A day in a never saw them again.

10:50

It must have been something dramatic. Or maybe

10:52

really are decide that occurred our him

10:54

on on I will say I brought

10:56

a date to an art museum. Never.

11:00

Saw been big deal with an excuse to leave

11:03

early. Never saw him again. Within.

11:05

Like ten minutes. He was that like it was

11:07

quick. To. Well maybe

11:09

they wanted. To do the art with

11:11

you in any mean, or you know, and

11:13

they didn't Oh, This

11:16

is of hence if you're doing are

11:18

together well okay I've not okay I

11:20

think I just was very disappointing to

11:22

them. That's.

11:25

My, that's my theory that I don't really. I

11:27

don't like this. Sorry. I

11:29

wouldn't put it that and are no

11:31

maxes and will develop athletic and you

11:33

know what else is suddenly likely the

11:35

other part. Of. A not all the I would. You

11:38

tell me that many times on the podcast. Him

11:40

and it's oil. It's silly to me

11:42

like exponentially someone else and I was

11:44

talking to on tinder was working there

11:46

that day so i made i cry

11:48

that some of other Ima cincinnati i

11:50

was so awkward back then though a

11:52

me a metal bands and he messes

11:54

the person. I think I told you to. Messages

11:56

are sent. A museum. Be like. bodies on my

11:59

flop of the day Let's

12:01

hang out. I

12:04

didn't do that. Nor would I. I've

12:06

got a Groupon. Actually if somebody brought a Groupon

12:09

and then like it

12:11

didn't go well or they became a

12:13

vigilante I'd probably not want to see

12:15

them again either. Yeah that's not what

12:17

happened with me but yeah agreed. Okay

12:20

anyway your turn. You could just say

12:22

you accidentally brought a Groupon to the

12:24

art museum and that'll make it

12:26

sound more believable. I think this was after it

12:28

became free that's why I chose to go there.

12:31

Oh well okay. Because there was a big donation to make it free. I'm

12:34

not even kidding. I know

12:36

you're not. I know that very well. Okay

12:38

this is a review from Kana or

12:41

sent in by Kana. She

12:43

her and it

12:45

is a paint and

12:47

sip called Splash Paint and Wine.

12:50

Don't splash the wine. I

12:53

know that part I'm like it feels like you're

12:55

giving off the wrong energy. Or

12:58

the right energy but like probably one

13:00

that you don't want in your establishment.

13:02

Yeah Paula is going to take full

13:04

advantage of that offer and splash her

13:07

wine all over the place. That's

13:09

her God given right based on the name of this book. Yes

13:11

God gave that right when

13:13

naming this location. You're right. Did

13:16

you call her Paula? Yeah

13:18

what do you mean? Who's Paula? The

13:20

reviewer I just read. Oh

13:22

okay okay I thought you meant like this

13:24

upcoming review. Sorry no no no sorry the

13:26

one who did something drastic is

13:29

what I'm saying. Gotcha right. It was a callback.

13:31

It was a comedy thing. Yeah no I got you I

13:33

just thought we were naming them all Paula. Oh

13:35

we can I'm down. This

13:38

is actually Ross and I feel like for some reason

13:40

that makes it funnier so this is

13:43

Ross who

13:47

gave Splash Paint and Wine a two star

13:49

out of five on TripAdvisor. There

13:53

are many firms in the Naples area that

13:55

offer painting classes and a bit of booze

13:58

to ease the mood. Scientists

14:00

have well-selected painting subjects, excellent

14:02

guidance, and create a fun

14:04

atmosphere. Unfortunately, splash paint and

14:06

wine is not one of them. The

14:10

offered painting sample was dark and

14:12

murky. The instructor did not

14:14

produce as good a picture as my daughter

14:16

did. Sorry,

14:19

if that was a challenge at some point, I wish

14:21

I had seen this review because it really

14:23

is excellent. That's a good one. The

14:27

instructor did not produce as good a picture

14:29

as my daughter did, perhaps not even as

14:31

good as mine. There was

14:33

no humor in her voice, nothing in her

14:36

demeanor to indicate fun, and no amount of

14:38

wine could change that. The

14:40

leader did little to advise and half-partily

14:42

walked the room. Her instruction

14:44

was limited and generally useless. All

14:47

of her instruction was done in front of her board

14:49

so we couldn't see what she was doing, and she

14:51

gave little clue as to how to proceed. She

14:53

gave no direct instruction when walking the room.

14:57

One particular downfall was the long time it

14:59

took to complete the painting. Much

15:01

of the evening was spent waiting for paint to dry.

15:21

Although they had some drying fans, it took up

15:23

at least a third of the night, at least

15:25

twice as long as other venues. If

15:27

we were all laughing, it wouldn't have

15:29

mattered, but this was no laughing matter.

15:32

Instead, it was just boring. Overall

15:34

the staff was okay, they did not skimp on

15:37

giving you as much paint as you needed and

15:39

seemed friendly. If only some of them

15:41

could design the product and actually know how to paint.

15:44

End of review. Wow, ouch. Yeah,

15:46

indeed. It's so, ah, cause the

15:49

thing is, you're

15:51

not as an art class. That's the thing. I think

15:53

people are missing that. That's the whole point. It's

15:56

not, and I think future

15:58

reviews that I'll read will... on that. But

16:01

that's not the point. You're not there to become

16:03

a good painter. I don't think.

16:07

I mean, why would they give you wine if that's the point?

16:09

That's not. You're supposed to have fun. I think

16:11

some people are just like a little tightly wound,

16:13

a very competitive maybe and very like, ugh,

16:16

just ugh, can't let go. I almost feel

16:18

it's hard with the paint and sip to find

16:21

that happy medium because I feel

16:23

like if you're one of those

16:25

people who's either really highly strong or you're like really

16:30

I don't know insecure or something about

16:32

your painting, you're not going to have

16:34

a good time. You're either like comparing

16:36

yourself or having an issue

16:39

with how hard it

16:41

is, I guess, or how you're not good at it

16:43

if you have that problem or you're the other

16:45

end where you're like, I'm better than the

16:47

teacher. Yeah. That's I

16:49

mean, because my dream and sad

16:52

very brought up taking a pottery

16:54

lesson. And I was like,

16:56

you know, I really want to do something like

16:59

that because and I tried to explain it.

17:01

I don't think I explained it well, but you kind of just said

17:03

it where I want I feel like

17:05

I'm insecure about some things and I feel like

17:07

I can be very like I

17:09

have trouble letting go of like when

17:11

I'm not good at something like I'm

17:13

easygoing. I can hang up, but I

17:15

still feel not good when I am

17:18

not good at something, but I want

17:20

to experience that more. Okay, I

17:23

experienced that all the time because I'm not good at

17:25

most things, but like I want to put myself in

17:27

a position like a painting or a pottery thing

17:30

like intentionally enjoy something not just because

17:32

you're trying to be successful at it

17:34

or good at it, but just just

17:36

to do something which I think would

17:38

be good for my brain and act because sometimes

17:40

I struggle with that. Like when I play certain

17:42

video games, I'm like if I'm not doing this

17:44

well, I get frustrated. I can't let go and

17:47

just have fun sometimes. So I want

17:49

to get better at that. So I was thinking about it. I'll

17:51

see her. Is this your next pitch to get us invited to

17:53

a painting? I feel like Alexander is trying a new tactic to

17:55

get us invited to a painting. I have like three more lined

17:57

up. Let me check my notes. If

18:00

you haven't reached the next one, but I'll

18:02

say it when I'm ready for my next

18:04

pitch. All right, once I say my next

18:06

pitch, then you can say yours. Good plan.

18:08

All right. Okay. Your turn, I think.

18:10

It is. My next one was sent

18:12

in by Elta. This

18:15

is a review of Painting with a

18:17

Twist, which I think is the most

18:19

popular one. Am I like- Okay,

18:21

I was gonna say, that's actually kind of a good name, and then I was

18:23

like, but I think that's actually like a franchise,

18:26

right? I believe that's a franchise that might be the

18:28

most, that's the one that I feel is as

18:31

the most, at least for me, is the one

18:33

I recognize. No,

18:35

I've never been to one, so I don't know,

18:37

whatever that says. This is the

18:39

one in South Jordan, Utah. A

18:43

two-star review. It's by James.

18:47

I'm sorry to say our experience was not

18:49

what we expected. We have done painting activities

18:51

before at other places, and we're so excited

18:53

to be doing one again. Our

18:55

instructor was terrible. He complained the entire

18:57

time about how he doesn't like to

18:59

paint. It's just a job. He complained

19:01

about work, his boss, and getting kicked

19:04

out of where he lives. He

19:06

provided zero work? He's out

19:08

of work? He's

19:10

like, I only do this for a job. By the way, I hate

19:12

my job. Wait a minute. I think that

19:14

instructor should be a podcaster because I

19:16

complain about you all the time on

19:18

here. It's great. I can, that's all,

19:21

people love it. You're like my fucking

19:23

coworker. It's like, wow, tell me about

19:25

it. And I do tell everyone about it. You

19:28

do? And they keep coming back. I

19:30

don't know why. I don't know why, but it's working

19:32

for you, so keep at it. He

19:34

provided zero instruction other than what color paint

19:36

to use. Our entire painting experience was over

19:38

in just barely an hour because he rushed

19:41

so fast to just get it over with.

19:43

Because of his attitude, the atmosphere was definitely not what

19:45

you want when people are paying to have a good

19:48

time. I'd be willing to try this place again, but

19:50

I won't book a reservation without knowing who the instructor

19:52

is. End of review. Wow.

19:56

Wow. I feel

19:58

like this was very common. common where

20:00

a lot of these reviews were

20:04

very critical of the like

20:08

you get a mix you get the ones

20:10

that are complaining about how talented they are

20:12

which I think is bullshit but then you

20:14

get these and you're like oof yeah maybe

20:16

that would be if you're on like your

20:18

date or second date it's like well that's

20:20

kind of ruins the mood like if the

20:22

person's just bitching the whole time and saying

20:24

I hate painting yeah it's like well this

20:26

is not fun for anybody it feels like

20:28

a sitcom like the teacher hates

20:30

their job and it's just like it feels

20:33

like a like a Seinfeld trope or something

20:35

it feels like a trope for sure it's

20:37

just like oh the or an improv sketch

20:39

like the oh the teacher yeah the guy who

20:41

hates his job even though his job is like

20:43

supposed to be really like fun

20:46

and then you know like the whole point of

20:48

it is to make people have no that's

20:51

kind of hilarious to me I mean honestly I

20:53

think it would be if it weren't something you

20:55

pay for and are trying to have fun I feel like

20:57

it would be funny yes yeah that's the thing though once

20:59

they were saying about paying money to be

21:01

there and that it's not enjoy like yeah that's that's

21:03

a kind of a not fun experience and then every

21:05

time you look at that nice painting you're like remember

21:07

that asshole guy get a story out of it though

21:11

that's true yeah yeah

21:13

okay so this is also from Kana

21:15

sent in by Kana and

21:17

it is of sip and paint Antigua

21:20

so we're going international

21:23

here yeah it's from trip

21:25

I never thought that would happen in

21:27

this theme of all things of

21:29

all happens somewhat often but when it happens

21:32

for a theme like this I'm kind of

21:34

surprised yeah I I

21:36

agree I would that's why I was so taken

21:38

by this so this is um sip

21:40

and paint Antigua which

21:43

I love it instead of paint and sip it's sip

21:45

and payment yeah whatever uh by

21:47

heavenly tours and this is a one star

21:49

review by Hannah horrible

21:52

she was not ready or set up she

21:55

left us at the pickup location told us

21:57

her driver would bring us as if she

21:59

had other customers. We were the only

22:01

customers. She cooked us lunch in a

22:03

dirty kitchen. I'm sorry. What? Pick up

22:05

loca. It's like a Home Depot and you were

22:08

told like, oh yeah, stand here if you want to pay.

22:11

I'm sorry, but that's... No,

22:13

okay. It's like one of those excursions.

22:16

Excursion type things? Yes. Yeah. So

22:18

it's like in Antigua, you're

22:20

at a resort or something and they

22:22

have heavenly tours, has like

22:25

multiple different excursions

22:27

and they are supposed

22:29

to pick you up. But I love that

22:31

they're like, oh, the fact that she

22:33

was at the pickup location and then was like, anyway,

22:35

I'm leaving. And they're like, wait,

22:38

we're supposed to come with you. And she's like, no, you'll

22:41

come later. Someone

22:44

else is going to come get you. Sorry, there's not room in

22:46

my car. I have a lot of other customers. And

22:48

then they get there and they're the only customers. Okay.

22:55

She cooked us lunch in a dirty

22:57

kitchen, food was mediocre. Her nephew wanted

22:59

my cigarettes. She served

23:01

us old wine. We had to meet her

23:03

at KFC the next day to get our art work. You

23:09

know, they spent like five US dollars. I don't know

23:11

what the currency is. I know. So I'm saying like

23:14

what I know. Talk about a story. I just hope

23:16

that this is so cheap. Like

23:18

considering all of these factors, I

23:20

mean, you're getting a lunch. Yeah,

23:22

I don't know. Wow.

23:26

I remember when I was in Belize

23:29

on our honeymoon, an excursion included

23:31

lunch. They were like, here's like a

23:33

baloney sandwich. I don't think it

23:36

was like anything, you know, extravagant.

23:40

It sounds like she's really like cooking though. But

23:42

anyway, we had to meet

23:44

her at KFC the next day to get our

23:46

artwork. She forgot the canvases and we had to

23:48

use all this old stuff. I feel

23:51

like this is, I'm trying to think of it. No, I

23:54

did the canvases. I'm sorry. Oh,

23:57

yes. So that was KFC happened after the

23:59

use. the canvases. I think

24:03

so. I think they go back. They're like, and

24:05

another thing. Yeah. Because I thought

24:07

I'm very confused. When I, are

24:09

you dating in the KFC? I mean,

24:12

maybe this seems like a kind of

24:14

a whole, this feels fake. This feels like

24:16

they just made this up and they were like, how do we

24:18

like, it feels like they made it up or

24:20

it feels like somebody was like, I'm going to

24:23

create a website called heavenly tours, get people to

24:25

PayPal me some money and then like hope

24:28

that they don't follow me

24:30

to my house. And then they did. So I served

24:32

them some old wine and said, Oh, I don't

24:35

have canvases. Paint on this

24:37

back of a newspaper. You know, it

24:39

feels like somebody kind of, you know,

24:42

with the amount of details, you know, I'm afraid

24:45

that you might be in on all of

24:47

this. I don't know why I got so

24:49

hyper specific about it. I'm a little nervous.

24:51

But anyway, sorry. Yeah, you're right.

24:53

Let me rewind. Okay. By

24:56

the way, there is an owner response to this at

24:58

the end. So get ready. Oh,

25:00

I'm ready. I can't wait. She

25:04

forgot the canvases and we had to use

25:06

all this old stuff. We met her at

25:08

a church way up a hill, then traveled

25:10

down to a beach, which again was not

25:12

set up. We were so lost and so

25:14

bored. Her guidance was horrific as well. Horrible

25:16

experience. Do not book this. Yeah. At the

25:18

end, it really sounded like a weird dream

25:20

they had like, yeah, into a beach. But

25:23

then we were at their house, then we

25:25

were at KFC. Okay,

25:27

so here's the business. But I will say it

25:30

doesn't sound like anything that bad. I don't know.

25:32

It's like maybe inconvenient. Like, yeah,

25:34

it sounds like, oh, this

25:36

wasn't what I expected. Yeah, overall, I think

25:38

it just didn't meet their expectations. But I'm

25:41

like, hey, if, I

25:43

don't know, like, you're

25:45

taking this paint and sip thing too

25:47

seriously. I don't know. Yeah, I

25:49

feel like you were the only customers you got

25:51

served lunch. I mean, it probably was awkward with

25:54

the nephew asking for your ticket. That wasn't

25:56

okay. Maybe that one's a little bit. Other

25:58

than that. No, yeah. Okay,

26:01

so this is the business's reply. I

26:30

know, I feel bad now that I was saying that shit

26:32

about paying $5. I

26:45

bet this experience was great and totally fine, and

26:47

here I am like shitting on it because of

26:49

what the degree was that. Well, the

26:52

only reason that I also participated in that

26:54

rhetoric was because I knew we were going to

26:56

get set, the business was going to get a

26:58

come up and

27:00

get the final word because Is

27:03

that how you put that? That the business gets to come up and

27:06

... or does the reviewer get to come up? I don't know

27:08

how come up and just used. I just wanted to make sure

27:10

we were on the same page here. Where

27:13

the business gets the last laugh in a way

27:15

where they are like ... They

27:18

get the last word in this,

27:20

and they ended up saying

27:22

... So basically, they

27:24

were not the only customers, they

27:26

just wanted to be

27:29

on the beach instead of in the actual building

27:31

of the art gallery. I don't like that. Okay,

27:33

so yeah, the way they presented it was so ...

27:36

it was as if it was so backwards and so

27:38

poorly handled, and now it's like, oh fuck, it was

27:40

all your fault? You were 45 minutes late and you

27:42

insisted on driving, and then you're like, they

27:44

didn't even drive us to the location.

27:46

It's like, what the ... man,

27:48

how? Apologies to Heavenly Tours for

27:50

me for that. Agreed. I

27:52

would love to participate one day. I was like,

27:54

this sounds like a fun experience if you actually do

27:57

it. Yeah, yeah, no, it doesn't. It's normal in the

27:59

right way. And the dream, I mean, I

28:01

don't know, with a beach and stuff by nearby even,

28:03

like, I don't even have, like, I don't know, it

28:05

just sounds, I'm sure it was great, and I feel

28:07

bad. They brought your lunch down to the beach because

28:09

you refused to, like, be where everyone else was. Rude.

28:13

Okay. Great. I'm gonna

28:15

move on, and by move

28:17

on, I mean go to the same place as before,

28:19

the same painting with

28:22

a twist in South Jordan, Utah, also

28:24

sent in by Elta, and this is

28:26

a two-star review. It

28:28

was written by Grace. The

28:31

instructor was incredibly rude and made us

28:33

very unwelcome and uncomfortable. Using her thinly

28:35

veiled jokes, she kept mocking all the

28:37

latecomers, at least ten times during the

28:40

lesson, and it was obvious she was

28:42

trying to shame us all in front

28:44

of the class. This is

28:46

after we called ahead to confirm that we'd

28:48

be delayed 20 minutes, to which she said

28:51

it was absolutely no problem. She

28:53

even split the class to play games while

28:55

we caught up, which would be

28:57

totally fine if she didn't keep announcing,

28:59

except you guys because you were late.

29:02

For every single step! We

29:05

got it. The whole class got it. Let

29:07

it go. It's just a silly painting, not

29:09

an SAT exam. She ruined what

29:12

was supposed to be a great date night. We both

29:14

agreed to try again at a different location. To the

29:17

instructor, we're sorry we ruined your very

29:19

important painting lesson. And a few. Okay,

29:27

I will say, you just

29:29

confirmed you're going to be late. You were late.

29:31

I don't know. Like, just calling doesn't make you not

29:33

late. You're still considered late. She's

29:39

like, oh, we called to confirm we would be

29:41

late. Exactly. It wasn't like... I don't know. And

29:43

I don't think it was a problem. I think

29:46

you turned this all into a problem. Because

29:49

I think it was kind of funny. You did not want

29:51

to play along with the joke. Also,

29:54

being late to something like this, that is

29:56

confusing when there's multiple step-by-step problems.

29:59

following the instruction. So now the

30:01

problem here is the instructor is trying to

30:04

like, actually,

30:06

my friend, if I were one of the other students, I'd

30:08

be like, what the hell? Like now we

30:10

have to stop painting to wait for these other

30:12

people? That would annoy me. I'm

30:14

like, the instructor's trying to make light of the situation

30:16

when half the class or whatever

30:19

is like, They probably won't get tipped

30:21

if people are pissed off. I

30:23

mean, it sounds like the teacher

30:25

was kind of in a tough position. I

30:27

don't know anyone really, but it's not, that's

30:29

the thing, it wasn't the instructor's fault. And

30:32

also all they did was call you up for being late, which

30:34

you were, it's not like you weren't late and they were making

30:36

it up. Like, and they were making

30:38

jokes about it. Like, I don't know. I

30:41

don't know, I'm just- They were clearly

30:43

have like a, something, like a sore

30:45

spot about being called late. Which

30:49

I have my own sore spots, but I don't know. I

30:52

do too, but I'm like- I would just feel guilty.

30:54

I wouldn't be like, how dare you call me out?

30:56

I'd be like, I'm so sorry. Please,

30:58

I didn't mean to. It'd be like, you're right,

31:00

my shame needs to be put publicly on display. You're

31:02

right. That's true, that's why I have a podcast. You can

31:04

tell me again. Yeah. Anytime I say

31:06

something shameful, which is probably more often than I, than it

31:09

should be. At least it's out there.

31:11

That's right now, yeah. Imagine

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and I have is from either or

32:30

eva not totally sure but see they

32:33

pronounce. And. Ah you're

32:35

out! hey Paris social internet friend eyes are

32:37

from a local T and Sept place called

32:39

P knows palette thought suffered a call it

32:42

penis Dallas oh. That's

32:44

as of. Beautiful. He

32:46

knows palate is. Then. They

32:48

I hope they. Knew what they are able to do

32:50

but even if they didn't sighting of the great name

32:53

like of regardless of that book eve just pretending they're

32:55

know possible jokes. I think it's a great name and

32:57

even with the jokes it makes me even better. Name.

33:00

At. P know if you know

33:02

how it is hilarious like I'd be

33:04

complex enough? that does. but people's power

33:06

is clever way of incorporating wine and

33:09

arts and I agree it sounds like

33:11

penis ballast. Com. Or serve as

33:13

as even better aerated. Let's not. To Love! Cherry

33:15

on top! So.

33:18

I want to. Had I wrote a note here

33:20

for myself or I wrote. To be clear, I

33:22

am on the reviewers. Side and miss of

33:24

he wrote this know get away so

33:26

I gotta does not sit on the

33:28

wrong person again. Yeah I basically

33:30

just the of this time I just

33:32

because I'm gonna read it and at

33:34

this person very upset and it is.

33:36

It might sound like I'm making fun

33:38

of the reviewer which usually. We are young

33:40

and for me I finally making. Light of their experience

33:43

but I just wanna be clear. like. At

33:46

the end of the day, I'm in agreement that. They're

33:49

on the right side of this. argument

33:51

of I know. I'm gonna

33:53

regret saying this, but I find it hard to

33:56

believe I wouldn't be on the side of Penis

33:58

Palace. With. A man. But

34:00

I'm willing willing to find out. Zola

34:02

Meteor such. As I'm sorry, I guess

34:05

maybe we can do a fun little debate.

34:07

Isabel I saw the underlying well I've a

34:09

feeling after agree this review I will not

34:11

wanna be on one side of the last

34:13

summer hundred I was of that haven't I

34:15

regretted it completely and I saw idling really

34:18

wanted bad. You know when you

34:20

get assigned to like the side and in debating. That

34:22

really bothers me last time this happened

34:24

to me. Personal approach said because it

34:26

happens. I recently. And I

34:28

don't remember on purpose. Your turn

34:31

to Breed says. This is

34:33

T Sars. Ah. By.

34:37

Monday. I. Will explain the Sars first

34:39

and give rational second penis. Tell is one

34:41

of many businesses where you can pass. He

34:43

used their studio drink and be taught how

34:45

to make art. I've taken one

34:47

previous class with a different location and had

34:50

a fantastic experience. and I've taken probably six

34:52

previous classes in a similar manner at a

34:54

different company and in a different city. In.

34:57

None of the previous seven classes that

34:59

have the experience. I underwent tonight.

35:02

I am no artist by any means, but I

35:04

also don't think I. Am particularly terrible.

35:07

Also written to enjoy these calls, the Senate.

35:10

And I can tell you may now at tonight's

35:12

com had been my first. I would never return.

35:15

I awarded to stars instead of one

35:17

because the bartender was amazing, kind and

35:19

made delicious drinks. The. Studio is clean

35:21

and I was sat with the friends I requested

35:24

all great things. The. Trouble is how

35:26

I was treated during the class. One.

35:28

Of the first things the instructor mentions is

35:30

that we would have freedom to adapt the

35:33

painting as we please. This. Is pretty standard

35:35

but like I said, I'm no artist so I

35:37

was following instructions as best as I could. I

35:40

have been a bit of a perfectionist son. slow.

35:43

There are people in the class being a bit rowdy

35:45

and rude to the instructor, which I did not appreciate

35:47

that I was trying to be. Respectful. And

35:49

follow along. Yet for some reason.

35:52

The. Instructor took it upon herself to joke about

35:54

Green and us on our work as if

35:56

it were school. i'm a grad

35:58

student or could get away from that She

36:01

also is the first instructor I have had

36:03

to brag about all the shows and galleries

36:05

she has her work in. Not

36:07

altogether a bad thing, but in combination with everything

36:10

else, a bit much. So here's

36:12

where the real issue lies. Four

36:14

times this instructor comes up behind me

36:16

while I am working, does

36:19

not ask if I have questions or if I

36:21

would like any assistance, which I did not want,

36:23

mind you, and literally

36:25

starts painting my canvas that

36:27

I paid for to

36:30

what she decided looked better. I

36:32

know who this is. I

36:35

know who this art teacher that

36:37

we've talked about before, who

36:40

would do our art for us because

36:42

it wasn't good enough when we were

36:44

in middle school. I forgot about

36:47

that. She literally paid. I

36:49

know, but I forgot that she did that. She would take

36:51

over and rework your art. Sometimes

36:55

in front of you, sometimes you would come in and be

36:57

like, Oh, this is better than

36:59

I remember. And put rhinestones. Yeah,

37:03

right. And when I say she made it better, or

37:05

what she wanted, it was just she bedazzled most of

37:07

the time. She was probably right. It was better,

37:09

but man. Let's

37:11

just say I'm not an artist now. Not that

37:13

that would have changed if she

37:16

hadn't done that. Honestly, Alexander, she

37:18

hadn't put that single, that last rhinestone that

37:20

finally sent you over the edge. You were

37:22

going to be a professional artist. She didn't let

37:24

me spread my wings. No.

37:26

It was probably for the best. She

37:28

glued them down with her big hug. Mom called her ahead of time.

37:31

Please don't let him spread his wings in the art.

37:33

We can't have this. Don't encourage that. No, we can't

37:35

afford this. We need him to become a lawyer. Look

37:38

at me now, Mom. To become

37:40

a radio host. Oh, wait. Okay.

37:42

So, yeah, this lady literally walked up

37:45

behind her and started painting the canvas. The

37:47

wildest thing I ever heard. This is like, talk about

37:49

a faux pas. Like this, if

37:51

I saw a teacher do this to someone else in class,

37:53

I think I would be like, dump

37:56

something if I watched it happen. It

37:58

felt like the one-star reviews were... either one way

38:00

or another, either they didn't help at all and they

38:02

hated that or they would just paint

38:05

the whole thing for them. It's wild, these

38:07

things. You've seen that? I've not seen that. Oh yeah, I think

38:09

one of my next reviews. I could be wrong, I might not

38:11

have brought it, but I'm pretty sure. That

38:14

is like the wildest shit. So anyway,

38:16

there's more description of it. And

38:19

literally starts painting my canvas that I paid for

38:21

to what she decided looked better. I am no

38:23

professional artist. I do not care what is right

38:25

or better in the art world. This

38:28

is like Pinot's

38:30

palette exists for people to relax, learn to paint

38:32

something for fun and drink with friends. This is

38:35

not art school. I'm not getting a grade contrary

38:37

to how she was acting and I'm not trying

38:39

to sell this artwork. What I do have to

38:41

do is look at it. And

38:44

so if I like the way my painting is

38:46

looking, the last thing I need is for someone

38:48

to paint over my shoulder without my consent and

38:50

effectively ruin what I was in the middle of.

38:53

The first time she did this,

38:55

I was surprised. The second, dumbfounded.

38:57

The third, absolutely livid. To

38:59

my dismay, I was unable to stay calm. I

39:02

stopped being quiet and was admittedly a bit

39:04

passive aggressive from then on. But

39:06

then it happened. She tells the

39:08

entire class that she is disappointed in

39:10

how we are handling a certain portion

39:13

of the painting. She didn't like

39:15

it. We needed to fix it. One

39:17

man spoke up. What if we like how

39:19

ours looks? The response, great, you're

39:21

almost done. Just hang on. A

39:25

professional and appropriate response to a

39:27

rude presentation. I liked how mine

39:29

looked, at least for the moment. And

39:31

I was working on the five previous super

39:33

speedy instructions she gave, so I opted to

39:35

leave mine be. While I'm literally

39:37

still painting another section, she steals paint

39:39

off my plate and once again, without

39:42

my permission nor desire, prepares to try

39:44

to paint my canvas for me. I

39:46

had to tell her I was actually happy with how it

39:48

looked and sent her away. Saying it once

39:50

was not enough. So now four times

39:52

over the course of three hours this has happened.

39:54

Never have I been treated so poorly at a

39:57

class before and never have I made to feel

39:59

so unconfident and. worthless while trying to be creative

40:01

and make something outside of my comfort zone. I

40:04

will continue to try classes again, but I would

40:06

strongly encourage you to look into a different location.

40:08

I will not be returning to this one. End

40:10

of version. Wild and very

40:12

understandable, yeah. I mean, I

40:15

just at the end was like, I would

40:17

be so livid, like internally. I probably wouldn't even

40:19

say anything. Yeah, I wouldn't say what I do.

40:21

I don't know what to say because I know

40:23

I'm not good, but that's, I'm just trying to

40:25

have fun. It's so weird. That's a

40:27

point. I mean, I definitely next to reviews and they

40:29

don't have that, but I definitely did see some reviews

40:32

mentioning instructors who would just take

40:34

the painting and do it themselves. And it's like, then

40:36

you hang it up and you're like, well, I didn't even fucking paint

40:38

house that. Why

40:41

would you hang up a painting from a random person?

40:45

It's like these people should be teaching, maybe they

40:47

shouldn't be teaching at all. But if anything, I

40:49

don't know. No, but if anything, they should be

40:51

teaching like people who are maybe better painters at

40:54

a higher level. I

40:56

said middle school because I was referring to our

40:58

former teacher. Just to clarify, I'm not saying, oh,

41:01

it was not a dig. No,

41:03

I genuinely, I'm like, she'd probably

41:05

find more reasonable. I

41:08

don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I

41:11

think, um, I don't know

41:13

what I do. I just handled, but yeah, I would

41:15

not want to keep that painting. What do you do?

41:17

You didn't paint it. Someone else did. That's

41:20

frustrating. I would be, I would be really annoyed. Especially

41:23

because I'm so bad. I know, like

41:25

I would not be able to paint well.

41:27

So I'd be afraid like, then it's just

41:29

like, I don't know. I don't want to

41:31

acknowledge how bad I am. I just want

41:33

to have fun. Yeah. To

41:36

stand in front of the whole class and be like,

41:38

I'm very disappointed in painting abilities. It's

41:40

so weird. I don't like it. It's

41:42

the wildest. It's the wild. Okay.

41:44

Um, I've got two more here. They were

41:47

both sent in by Jen and Matt. And

41:49

they apologized to me specifically in

41:51

the email because there are screenshots and not links.

41:54

And I'll have you know, I took my meds so I was better

41:56

about it. It turns

41:58

out mental. mental health

42:01

is the main factor for the wanting

42:03

links, which we all pretty much

42:06

knew. Or could have assumed.

42:08

No. Here we go. Here's

42:10

one of them. This is a

42:12

review of painting with a twist. This

42:16

one is located in Rochester

42:19

Hills, Michigan,

42:21

of course. It

42:24

looks like Troy, Michigan. It's somewhere in there. Two

42:27

stars. My

42:29

boyfriend and I went here for our anniversary and had

42:31

a really fun time here and we're so excited to

42:33

get our paintings. But when we went

42:36

to pick them up, the person said it looked

42:38

wet and poked her finger in the paint anyway

42:40

and ruined the piece. It was

42:42

fun but disappointing and sad how it turned out.

42:44

End of review. Oh my

42:46

god, now they have their fingerprint in it? Listen

42:49

to this response from owner. Oh

42:51

shit. Okay, that was written by Abigail. Here's

42:55

the response. Hi Abigail, that

42:58

was me and I am so sorry that

43:00

when I touched it my finger mark ruined

43:02

it, frowny face. I was worried if it

43:04

was wet the paint would ruin your car.

43:06

I am more than happy to have both of

43:09

you back in to do another paint pour on

43:11

the house. End of response. Oh no. I

43:13

know. You feel so bad. I know. And

43:16

like. It's like intrusive thought like, I'll just

43:18

poke it really lightly and then you do

43:21

it and you're like. Why did I do

43:23

that? But then was like, oh shit,

43:25

I ruined it. Oh my god. Now

43:28

your fingerprint lives on in that canvas for

43:30

the rest of time. Yeah,

43:32

meanwhile the owner is like, I did that

43:35

on purpose. I do that to most of

43:37

them so they never forget my finger prints.

43:40

My fingerprints are on all my scenes. It's

43:43

like the surgeon that got in trouble and

43:45

I heard multiple surgeons do this for putting

43:47

their initials in whatever organ

43:50

they were or something. I don't know if they put it on an

43:52

organ. They put an

43:54

initial. Yeah. Yeah, something after

43:56

they're done. What are these called?

43:59

I forget. like a sign like a pen

44:01

or pencil and I don't think it was one of those

44:03

so well I was gonna say like a blowtorch but

44:05

that's not right either it's a thing that I'd

44:07

hope they got in trouble if they're using the

44:09

blowtorch to do it yeah and

44:12

his the wildest part is his name was

44:14

Benjamin so it was like oh my god okay

44:20

I'm sorry this is also from

44:22

Eva or Eva not sure of

44:24

Pino's palette and

44:27

it's a one-star nice the

44:31

painting was a five-star experience the instructor

44:34

was amazing she was very thoughtful and

44:36

she helped us when needed the

44:38

only thing I would not recommend is the

44:40

beverages I am a

44:42

extreme lightweight I only drink

44:45

maybe one to two beers a week tops

44:48

I'm also skinny I

44:50

paid $8 for a Bob Ross parentheses

44:54

one shot of Malibu it

44:57

was by far one of the weakest

44:59

drinks I have ever had when I

45:02

tell you that I tasted nor felt

45:04

any alcohol I really mean it I'm

45:06

not convinced by this review I know even saying I

45:08

am a extreme lightweight I'm like

45:16

okay

45:20

I neither tasted nor felt no it

45:22

doesn't even say that when I tell

45:24

you that I tasted nor felt any

45:26

alcohol I really mean it I

45:28

then told the two ladies up at the bar

45:31

they basically told me to get lost they

45:33

did not say get lost first

45:35

of all there's nothing passive aggressive

45:37

about get lost basically told me

45:40

and they're like oh mention passive

45:42

they start you started to mention

45:44

passive aggressive aggressive for no reason

45:46

not passive aggressive no get lost

45:49

like I'd be like oh shit they shouldn't say that but that is

45:51

not passive

45:55

that does not I don't think that's what happened and

45:58

then they wrote the thing that got me The

46:00

bartender doesn't drink alcohol. What bartender

46:02

doesn't drink alcohol? I will never

46:04

come back to this location ever

46:07

again. I was a pretty good

46:09

bartender when I was 12 years old for our stepmom's parties. We

46:14

make a mean Manhattan. But

46:18

okay, can I be clear here? A shot of Malibu,

46:20

it comes out of a bottle. I'm confused by that.

46:22

Yeah, so they're basically saying, I

46:24

never drink. I ordered a shot of Malibu, which

46:26

is like a liqueur at

46:29

best. I feel like it depends

46:31

on what you're talking about. I don't know how

46:33

much it's not a liqueur at best. It's just rum. It's

46:35

a shot of rum, right? I

46:38

was thinking like Malibu, like coconut

46:41

liqueur. Okay, no, I think it's just rum. Yeah,

46:43

it is a liqueur. Am I crazy? Like,

46:45

it's coconut rum, I think. But isn't it just... I

46:48

don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

46:51

But also, Christina, so my thinking is this isn't just a

46:53

shot. I think the shot is in the drink. Because

46:57

it's called a Bob Ross. I

46:59

don't think they would order a Bob Ross and

47:02

it just be a shot. That's

47:05

what they said. They said it was a

47:07

shot, so it was confusing. But I think they're drunk. Oh,

47:09

I see. So it's basically the

47:11

alcohol... I

47:15

don't think they're drunk. I think they

47:17

had a drink with literally one shot

47:19

of Malibu and not even a 10-year-old

47:21

would get drunk from that. So, like,

47:25

okay. Fureously

47:29

typing over there. Okay.

47:33

Okay. Let me look up like... I was like, give

47:35

me any reference point because I don't know what that means. Okay,

47:39

so in the United

47:41

States, vodka, for example, must have

47:44

a minimum alcohol content of 40%. Okay.

47:47

Yeah. But vodka starts around 40 and

47:49

can range as high as 95%. Meanwhile,

47:54

Malibu is 21 and it is a

47:56

liqueur. Okay. Yeah, I was

47:58

wrong. It is neither strong nor... Technically rum

48:00

says drugs. I was completely wrong. I.

48:03

In. Fact: It's correctly classified as

48:05

a coconut flavored. Liquid. Of her. And

48:08

of rum Light Run must have a caught

48:10

alcohol content of forty percent or higher, and

48:13

Malibu has. A gentler as. They

48:15

placed rating of twenty one percent. We're

48:17

okay, No wonder I like Malibu. Oh.

48:21

Exactly Yeah, This person's as. Doesn't.

48:24

Know a Malibu is ah yes! He.

48:26

I think that's the problem and a said like I drink

48:28

one to two beers a week and I'm like honestly, You.

48:31

Probably get drunk or of ginger I wait

48:33

for I keep it but more often they

48:35

are than once a cocktail with as about

48:38

him actually get the Mobo see So this

48:40

is so educational I'm teaching yourself with was

48:42

you Tommy Lab. Oh.

48:44

Okay so I I'm on my last

48:47

one. This is another one with an

48:49

owner response also sent in by Matt

48:51

Jen I'm and this is about same

48:53

location I'm. Painting.

48:56

With My God. What? Sorry.

48:58

Was. I sound March drink of the month.

49:03

Bob Ross. South. Of how

49:05

much of what is it. Okay,

49:07

held, I'm elite. This.

49:10

March as. My

49:12

right now and we're recording this. Ah,

49:15

No. Twenty a team. so guess so.

49:17

This is from Tulsa people.com July twentieth:

49:19

Two thousand Twenty Three. So I guess

49:21

a little more recent, a cup that's

49:24

not for your brush? More drink options

49:26

at Pino Palette. Some. So

49:28

the Bob Ross. Oh

49:31

My. God. Why is it not telling me?

49:33

it's as the Barbara which come see you

49:35

in a Pilsner full of bold blue, Liquid

49:38

Courage is quickly becoming a fan favorite. That's

49:41

that's what it says. Yeah,

49:43

that's that's all the info a pill

49:45

owners message. You know what a pilsner

49:47

up the saliva picture of it? Does

49:49

that help know? I'm

49:52

fat but what I'm learning I didn't realize of this

49:54

is such a big chain. Peels.

49:57

Power is it A to.they're more. Third,

49:59

most people's. Well, if it's near me, then there

50:01

are painting with a twist. Oh,

50:04

so you can enjoy it yourself. Well,

50:06

granted, they're mostly in New Jersey, so

50:08

no, I won't. But I'm far. I

50:11

don't know how to get there. That

50:13

was not actually meant as a dig. That's far.

50:17

But yeah. We could franchise it. Where?

50:23

Where do you want to open that? Down the

50:25

stairs? I don't know. In your

50:27

home? In my apartment building?

50:31

Which one? Come

50:34

on, if we want this business to succeed,

50:36

we've got to have a great, solid, full-force

50:39

business plan. I have the world's worst elevator pitch.

50:41

I'm like, I have sharks. I

50:44

want to put a franchise downstairs. That's

50:47

all I have for you today. Where? Downstairs.

50:50

Huh? I'm

50:53

going to join Pino Perks. Okay.

50:56

No, I'm already part of Pino's Perks.

50:59

Silly me. Silly me. How

51:02

could I forget? I'm done, by the way,

51:04

with my reviews. Oh,

51:07

okay. It's

51:09

on you now to

51:11

keep this episode moving

51:13

until, actually, throughout the

51:15

rest, so you better get on it.

51:18

Focus. Okay, I'm focused. Okay.

51:21

So, let's see. Oh, that

51:24

was my last one. Wow. That

51:26

never happened. It definitely didn't happen last week.

51:29

No, it didn't. So

51:32

I have my challenge now. This is my

51:34

challenge from Brad to find reviewers. I'm sorry,

51:36

find reviews where the reviewers told they look

51:38

like a celebrity and are offended by

51:40

it. Aksaner, I forget. What was yours

51:42

again? My challenge for what? Oh,

51:44

my story. No, I'm sorry. What was your...

51:47

Yeah. I was like, what? So,

51:49

this isn't offensive to me. So I was

51:52

at the airport and the

51:54

TSA agent looked at my ID and said

51:57

that I... like

52:01

a young Lewis Capaldi, a

52:03

singer. You know Lewis Capaldi with the

52:05

hair. And in my ID photo, I

52:07

had like the long hair. And

52:10

I was like, honestly, I see the resemblance

52:12

between me and Lewis Capaldi in this photo.

52:15

And he called me a young Lewis Capaldi, and

52:18

Lewis Capaldi is three years younger than me.

52:21

That's what I thought. I didn't say this on

52:23

the podcast before, I might have. No, you told

52:25

me in person, but I was like, isn't he

52:27

younger than us? Yeah, he's three years younger than

52:29

me. And so I'm like, that's insulting

52:31

to the Lewis Capaldi. Like, I look like a

52:33

young... No, oh, thoroughly. And

52:36

in my opinion, he doesn't look any younger than

52:38

I do. Or like any... I mean, sorry. He

52:41

doesn't look any older than I do. Now we

52:44

get surreal. No, no, no. And

52:46

so, yeah, I just thought that was kind of silly. At least you're

52:48

being compared. Everyone at airports and on airplanes

52:50

always thinks you're 12, so that might

52:52

be what's happening. I feel like

52:54

you are always accused of being younger than you look

52:56

at that. Which I'm not complaining about. Or

52:59

you're looking younger than you are. Yeah,

53:01

yeah. Which, yeah, stop complaining. Okay, we

53:03

get it. We get it. Okay,

53:06

I'm youthful. I have this youthful energy

53:08

glow. And this exuberance that just cannot

53:10

be matched by my peers. I'm

53:17

so tired of it. You're not even my peer. You're

53:19

so much older than me. I

53:23

remind me of a young... Okay,

53:26

this is... I don't know where I was going with that. This

53:29

is from Brad himself who sent the

53:31

challenge and said, I wanted to shoot you this

53:33

review. First of all, I always get nervous

53:35

when people write and wanted to shoot me. Jesus. Sometimes

53:40

I say, I'll shoot you an email. And then I

53:42

get so in my head where I go, I shouldn't

53:44

say I'll shoot you an email. I

53:47

don't know why, but it stresses me out.

53:49

Yeah, that phrasing could be... I know.

53:52

Yeah, I'll shoot you an email. Yeah,

53:54

yeah. Yeah, like, oh, I want to

53:56

shoot you this... I know, I

53:58

know. And it's like, for some reason... reason I just get

54:00

caught up on that. I wanted to shoot you

54:03

this review that inspired me. That

54:08

inspired me to submit the challenge.

54:11

Okay. So this is what started

54:13

it all. Start of

54:16

it all. This is a one star

54:18

review of Common Crow Natural Markets, which

54:20

is a natural food store in Gloucester,

54:22

Massachusetts. And

54:24

this is a one star review by

54:27

Bella. Cashier

54:29

told me to look her in the eyes, stared

54:32

at me and held up the line. Then

54:35

she said I looked like Taylor Swift, which

54:38

was really odd for someone to say at a cash

54:40

register. She also said

54:42

it really weirdly, like, has anyone ever

54:44

told you? Long pause.

54:47

That you look like

54:49

Taylor Swift. I

54:51

don't look like Taylor Swift. I think

54:53

she thought I was trying to hide items in

54:55

my bag when I offered to bag my own

54:57

groceries, even though I just bought a large amount

54:59

of bulk food and glass jars. Weird experience.

55:02

And you know what, I'll agree

55:04

with them there. This sounds

55:06

like a weird experience. It

55:08

sounds like I'm like take the W also

55:11

very weird retelling of it. I think I

55:13

may be it was a weird retelling. I

55:15

feel I feel like you know what, take the compliment

55:18

of a young hot

55:20

blonde girl celebrity superstar

55:23

rock star, one of the wealthiest people in the

55:25

world. Especially that part. That's my favorite. When that

55:27

guy said that, I was like, well, yeah, Louis

55:29

Capaldi is not worth. I mean, hey, I'll take

55:31

it. You're right. I do

55:33

look like that. Yeah. But I'm

55:35

like, you know, she just described

55:38

you as like basically a supermodel. Take it. Unless

55:41

she really is hitting the panic button under

55:43

the counter and like calling the police, which

55:45

is like, yeah, I'm like, I love this

55:48

juxtaposition of wow, you look like Taylor Swift.

55:50

Clearly, as I would say, as a compliment,

55:52

you would say that to someone, but also

55:54

like, like

55:58

maybe they're just suspicious and thought that they were

56:00

Taylor Swift, you know? I don't know. Maybe.

56:02

That's what it was and that's why they're acting weird

56:05

and they were like, oh no, don't do it yourself. I want

56:07

to do this. I need to help Taylor Swift, you know? I

56:10

want to be helpful. Like

56:12

look at all these bulk jars you brought in, Taylor.

56:14

Thank you. I don't

56:17

know what's going on here. Okay. I don't either. I

56:19

kind of love it though. Believe

56:24

it or not, I don't have any more.

56:27

I thought you had another story for me

56:29

from the TSA archives of celebrity

56:32

comparisons. Sorry. Okay.

56:34

So this is from

56:36

Kana as well who sent some reviews

56:39

earlier for the theme. And

56:41

this is a one star review of a

56:43

restaurant and I will say this

56:46

one like absolutely, absolutely

56:49

encompasses the challenge and

56:52

it makes me very uncomfortable. Like how

56:55

upset, you know what I mean? Like it feels

56:57

like I'm like, I feel like a lot of these

56:59

are insults to celebrities. Yeah.

57:01

As if somebody had said, how dare

57:04

you compare that person. Yeah.

57:06

In turn, they're the ones being

57:08

insulting by being insulted. Yes. Correct.

57:10

Yeah. So that's kind of where this goes. I

57:13

just want to warn everybody. It's a little uncomfy.

57:17

So here we go. One

57:19

star. Horribly rude stuff. Food

57:22

was okay. Weight staff made

57:24

an unsolicited comment about my weight. Six

57:26

foot one, 280 pounds, dad

57:29

bod to my face. I

57:31

was there to pick up an order for

57:33

my wife's birthday and the lady that was

57:35

helping me was very polite and friendly. However,

57:37

when one of her male teammates brought out

57:39

my order, he said, you look like Michael

57:41

Moore. I've worked very hard to

57:43

lose 70 pounds over the past year and I

57:46

have 60 pounds to go to reach my ideal

57:48

weight. I said nothing, nor did anything to incite

57:50

this rude remark. Although by the way, cutting in

57:52

here to say it is never okay to comment on

57:54

someone's body or weight or

57:57

I'm in agreement there. I'm

57:59

not. Mocking this experience.

58:02

I said nothing nor did anything well to

58:04

incite this rude remark aside from apparently looking

58:07

like Michael Moore But that can't be helped.

58:09

I think you know Similar

58:11

to pregnancy don't assume anything then don't don't tell anyone

58:13

that you think that they look like anything that they

58:15

look pregnant that they Look like someone just like don't

58:18

make a comment. Why why would you even say people

58:20

will not take it? Well? Yeah

58:24

even Taylor Swift If

58:26

that's if that Causing negativity then

58:28

just don't even bother just no one

58:30

no one that safe no

58:32

celebrity. Yeah, I Said

58:35

nothing nor did anything to incite this rude remark

58:37

I was minding my own business and paying my

58:39

bill I immediately expressed that I was insulted and

58:42

asked him if he'd like it if I said

58:44

he looked like Rush Limbaugh Now

58:47

that is insulting like that is fuck Rush

58:49

Limbaugh like that's a thing is like you

58:51

got it It depends on who

58:53

you pick got a pick and choose your battles

58:55

here Yeah, okay, but get this what if

58:57

I said he looked like Rush

58:59

Limbaugh, which he did not Um

59:09

so random which he did not

59:12

to which he responded that he didn't care and

59:14

that he's a character Not my

59:16

point You insulted me out

59:18

of blue clear sky and didn't

59:20

give two shits that your comment

59:22

proved offensive and unwelcome Keep your

59:24

rude comments to yourself clearly management

59:26

endorses the sort of behavior end of review so You

59:31

know it seems like there's a lot

59:33

more happening here And also of course it can

59:35

be very upsetting when someone comments on something

59:37

that you are like yeah Like

59:40

anything like your physical body here you hit

59:42

a nerve with that comment Which yeah don't comment

59:44

you know even if you meant mean it It's

59:48

very simple and if someone says like that

59:50

was rude and offensive Don't

59:52

be like oh yeah, no exactly like like

59:54

it doesn't matter how you meant it doesn't

59:56

matter your intentions there like the

59:58

fact that they were like I

1:00:01

don't care if I look like Rush Limbaugh, maybe I do. I hope

1:00:03

I look like Rush Limbaugh. It's like, well, that's not

1:00:05

the point. And also you don't look anything like

1:00:08

him. Oh, and you do want to? Well, guess

1:00:10

what? I was lying. Guess

1:00:12

what? Now this is the worst day of your life. Okay,

1:00:23

so the next one I have is of,

1:00:26

let's see, this is an email

1:00:29

from Chelsea, she her, and it's

1:00:31

from a forum on Mumsnet, the

1:00:33

UK's most popular website for parents.

1:00:37

Uh, this forum sounds like a great

1:00:39

site for me. Yeah,

1:00:42

I think you'd find yourself perfectly at home.

1:00:45

Um, this, this

1:00:48

post has 338 replies. This

1:00:50

was, yeah, this was a

1:00:52

pop in a pop in

1:00:55

particular. I'll be honest, even though I am

1:00:57

a mum, I don't have the context for you, so I don't know. But I

1:00:59

do know that, um, this one got some heat. So 338 replies. And

1:01:08

the title is To Be Pissed

1:01:11

Off With My Celebrity Lookalike. And

1:01:14

this is by Dame Doom, uh, posted

1:01:16

in 2013. And I want to

1:01:19

clarify when they discuss, uh, celebrity

1:01:21

lookalikes. I believe they're referring to,

1:01:24

like, remember when those apps came out or those

1:01:26

websites where you could like upload a picture of

1:01:28

yourself and they would like tell

1:01:30

you who your celebrity doppelganger is? Okay, that's

1:01:32

kind of, I think what they're referring to.

1:01:36

Went for lunch with a friend,

1:01:38

Heidi Klum looked alike yesterday. She

1:01:41

was playing the, oh, which gorgeous

1:01:43

supermodel do I look like game?

1:01:45

This boring. Yeah,

1:01:48

I was gonna say, yeah, you seem like a delight to have

1:01:50

around. I don't, I think this

1:01:52

person, I don't know, this

1:01:54

doesn't feel like a healthy friendship already.

1:01:56

Oh, it seems incredibly toxic. Yeah, no

1:01:58

wonder this dot trainer. 38 replies. Everyone's

1:02:00

probably like weighing in on, you know,

1:02:03

it's like an am I the asshole

1:02:05

situation. Everyone has an opinion. Went

1:02:08

for lunch with a friend Heidi Klum looked

1:02:10

like yesterday. She was playing the

1:02:12

Ooh, which gorgeous supermodel do I look

1:02:14

like game? Bit boring and predictable as

1:02:16

she really does. What a fisher. Anyhoo's

1:02:19

I came out as Vic Reeves,

1:02:22

not a young one either. Okay, look up

1:02:24

Rick V. Rick. It's

1:02:27

an English comedian, I believe is what

1:02:29

I gathered, which is so

1:02:31

funny because it's Oh,

1:02:33

I know this guy. Yeah, okay.

1:02:36

Vic Reeves is I

1:02:40

imagine your friend comes in with a Heidi

1:02:42

Klum and you get Vic Reeves. Okay,

1:02:46

I love the juxtaposition. No offense to Vic Reeves.

1:02:48

It is good. It's a great juxtaposition. Talk about

1:02:50

an odd couple, the odd couple, you know. Anyhoo's

1:02:55

all came out as Vic Reeves, not

1:02:57

a young one either. Ran to Lou

1:02:59

to adjust winkle pickers and

1:03:01

novelty leggings only to stare into

1:03:04

the face of Vic Reeves. Everywhere

1:03:06

I go, Vic is staring out at me. I am

1:03:09

an uncanny spit of him. Which

1:03:12

celeb do you look like? But would rather

1:03:14

not end of post so

1:03:16

it seems like they're almost more embittered

1:03:18

about they accepted having they

1:03:21

like can't understand. Yeah, I kind of like they were

1:03:23

they're just upset someone told them. Like,

1:03:26

yeah, it's like, wow, why did you have to ruin that

1:03:28

for me? I do

1:03:30

see. I do see

1:03:33

those, like, videos a lot

1:03:35

on TikTok for some reason they keep coming up

1:03:37

where it's like, people are interviewed what celebrity do

1:03:39

you look like? Or do people

1:03:41

say you look like or I don't know. Well,

1:03:43

it was just a big thing on on

1:03:46

a love is blind. Okay, like kind of caused a

1:03:48

stir. Oh, I need to watch the new season. I

1:03:51

need to be up. You have to leave like memes

1:03:53

about it. I've just ignored them. I could send you

1:03:55

8000. Please. You watch

1:03:57

suits. I'll watch that. Okay, we'll try. Yeah,

1:04:00

no, I don't have a good answer. I mean Lewis

1:04:02

Capaldi is now that I don't have the hair It

1:04:04

doesn't really fit anymore. It did. I think that was

1:04:06

a good one, but yeah, I don't have I don't

1:04:08

I don't feel like I have One not saying that

1:04:11

they don't exist but like I don't have one ready to

1:04:13

tell people Austin our keep the faith alive

1:04:15

because Britta bought was one of 338

1:04:19

replies that Chelsea was kind enough to source

1:04:21

for me so I can have to read

1:04:23

all of them Yeah, and so Britta's bought responded

1:04:25

to this and said I Did

1:04:28

one of those look-alike apps and as a white

1:04:30

woman was surprised to get Will Smith I gave

1:04:33

it another go Sorry,

1:04:36

I Did

1:04:38

this or a day one time and she got

1:04:40

Putin? And it

1:04:43

did like a morph where it like it

1:04:46

was horrible I was like and it's still

1:04:48

her photo on my phone. I think that like

1:04:50

weird transition. I Gave

1:04:53

it another go and got Tom Hanks third

1:04:55

time I got Kate Beckinsale, but I felt

1:04:58

it had lost credibility at that point. That's a bummer

1:05:01

They'll find out That's

1:05:03

why with the Heidi Klum friend. You just got to do

1:05:06

it two more times and bring her back down

1:05:08

to reality Yeah, I think they just got lucky

1:05:10

with the timing. I guess I don't know. Oh

1:05:13

my god so Yeah,

1:05:17

so I knew that some of that would be a little bit like

1:05:19

um Of

1:05:22

a bummer or just like people were gonna be

1:05:24

upset So I brought a couple of redemptions just

1:05:26

to like balance out, you know people being excited

1:05:28

You know, so I just remembered top Okay,

1:05:30

it's people will like tag me in comments

1:05:33

on Instagram or tick-tock There's

1:05:35

been one that I agreed with but

1:05:37

like nine times out of ten people say oh

1:05:39

my god This looks like you and then tags

1:05:42

me and I was like, oh,

1:05:44

I thought this was at Zandy Sheifer at first and I

1:05:46

look At it. I'm like what I

1:05:48

don't see that. Yeah, but maybe I View

1:05:50

of myself or gonna say I feel like

1:05:52

I've noticed those from time to time and I'm

1:05:55

like no it doesn't really But I I can

1:05:57

see why like in some photos or something. Yeah,

1:05:59

maybe they don't know what you

1:06:01

look like. Or like one feature, like the eyes or

1:06:03

something. Yeah. But sometimes I

1:06:05

see those and I'm like, not insulted, but

1:06:08

just like, huh? Really? I don't see it

1:06:10

at all. Sometimes I get compared to

1:06:12

Leighton Meester and it's like, oh, is it

1:06:14

the dimple? Let me Google Leighton

1:06:16

Meester. I feel like you've told me this.

1:06:20

I mean, honestly, it happens so often.

1:06:23

I don't see it at all. I mean, not like.

1:06:25

Yeah, I mean, I don't either, but like people

1:06:27

say it so often that I actually watched Gossip

1:06:29

Girl because I was like, who the fuck is

1:06:31

Leighton Meester? I think there's like some scenes

1:06:34

out there that it's like. I

1:06:36

think it was at Liz's Bachelorette or something where I

1:06:38

said like, oh, people say that. And all the people

1:06:40

who did not know me went, oh,

1:06:43

that's who you look like. Interesting. Are

1:06:45

you kidding? I think that makes a big difference,

1:06:47

is knowing someone and seeing their face so much,

1:06:49

it's hard to like see their features in someone

1:06:51

else, if that makes sense. Yeah, so you guys

1:06:54

weigh in. Tell me if I look like a beautiful skinny

1:06:57

actress. I don't, actually, I'll

1:06:59

be honest too, a lot of

1:07:01

those comments stopped like 10 years ago, like when I

1:07:03

was in college, people would say that. And now I'm

1:07:05

like, I don't get that very often anymore.

1:07:08

So I'm sure

1:07:10

it has something to do with aging.

1:07:12

Question mark. I heard

1:07:15

that happens. But I'll take it. Like I'm not

1:07:17

gonna complain. I mean, of all things

1:07:19

I'll take it, it could be worse. I

1:07:22

kind of don't care what I look, I'm

1:07:25

nervous to find out, honestly, if people tell me, but I

1:07:28

like the Louis Capaldi one, that one fit. That one I saw,

1:07:30

that was the first one that I was like, it

1:07:32

was really random, but like I saw that with a long

1:07:34

hair. And for some reason I was like, yep, I

1:07:36

see it. It's like what everyone tells Tony Hawk,

1:07:39

he looks like just like that, his skater Tony

1:07:41

Hawk. And he's like, really? I

1:07:43

don't see it. But believe it or

1:07:45

not, I'm not Louis Capaldi. So it's

1:07:47

very different. What if you were though? I'm

1:07:52

not gonna answer that, I don't know. I don't know what that

1:07:54

means. Then I'd be Louis Capaldi.

1:07:57

What? Zandy

1:08:01

and X-Tien, Lewis and

1:08:03

Louisa? I'm out. I'm

1:08:05

out. I don't know. Give me,

1:08:07

give it, sorry, I'm sorry I interrupted this. I

1:08:09

thought it was my fault. You're about to read

1:08:11

your next review. That's my fault. I think, I

1:08:13

think, Blistine. Blistine? What? Is

1:08:16

that how that works? One time, Blasen

1:08:19

and I tried to combine our names and

1:08:21

we came up with Blistine Schlempignale. Eww.

1:08:25

That's disgusting. I hate it.

1:08:28

I almost thought maybe we weren't supposed to be married because

1:08:30

of it. That's the reason

1:08:32

you weren't supposed to be married, was because that would be

1:08:35

your couple name. Yeah, I just thought to myself like

1:08:37

maybe the universe is trying to tell us something. I don't know. I

1:08:40

don't think it was, but yeah. Yeah, we couldn't

1:08:42

find a name that we could like combine, you

1:08:44

know? Yeah. So I just kept mine. You know, I don't

1:08:47

blame you. Whatever. So

1:08:49

this is a redemption. It's

1:08:51

a five star review of

1:08:53

a hotel, okay, called Catfish

1:08:55

Bend in and spot. That sounds

1:08:58

fun. Yeah. How's the

1:09:00

Catfish Bending? Let's

1:09:03

get a better look at your rear

1:09:06

end. What

1:09:10

the fuck? I don't know.

1:09:17

Okay, the title of this review, which

1:09:20

by the way is by Kevin and

1:09:22

it's called Fascinating Shower Wall, which

1:09:25

seems like an oxymoron. A paradox

1:09:27

that we're telling you. Yeah.

1:09:32

Okay, here's the review. And

1:09:34

it's going to be the photo. It comes

1:09:36

with a photo of a Fascinating Shower Wall.

1:09:38

I'm so glad. Okay,

1:09:52

here's the review. Big room

1:09:54

with a comfy king bed and good

1:09:56

pillows. Quiet climate control so the fan didn't

1:09:58

keep waking us. The bathroom was

1:10:00

huge with a walk-in shower with

1:10:02

a semi-opaque wall, so you could see

1:10:05

blurry outlines of the person taking

1:10:07

the shower from the bedroom. But

1:10:09

then, she looked like an alien. Meanwhile,

1:10:12

she said, I looked like

1:10:14

Bigfoot. The

1:10:19

celebrity in this case is Bigfoot. I

1:10:21

love it. In my stretching of the

1:10:23

challenge. I love it. She

1:10:26

said, I looked like Bigfoot. Coffee, tiny

1:10:28

microwave, and decent fridge all in the

1:10:31

large bathroom area. Check-in was easy. Okay,

1:10:33

so he put a photo of

1:10:36

the shower wall with his wife looking like

1:10:38

an alien. And I'm

1:10:40

like, first of all, that's your naked wife

1:10:42

in the shower. Why are you posting that? Second

1:10:45

of all, I'd rather see the one of Bigfoot. Is that

1:10:47

okay? What the fuck is this? It is like

1:10:50

an alien. That is creepy. That is weird.

1:10:52

It looks like a gray. It

1:10:56

is like a what? To be specific. Is that a

1:10:58

type of alien? Yes. The

1:11:00

ones with the gray heads and the big eyes.

1:11:02

Except it's very blue to me. Is

1:11:06

it not blue to you? The

1:11:10

wife looks completely blue. From

1:11:12

head to toe, blue. Yeah, that's true. Maybe it's

1:11:15

more like Avatar. I don't know. No.

1:11:17

I don't like it. No, I don't know. Yes, you're right, but

1:11:20

I don't like it. I agree with

1:11:22

the Avatar comparison, but I don't like it.

1:11:24

I just loved the idea that he looked like Bigfoot

1:11:27

and that was part of the five star. Which

1:11:29

I could picture, because of the blurriness in

1:11:31

the shower. Oh, yeah. I

1:11:33

could absolutely picture that. You're like kind of doing this in

1:11:35

the shower. Whatever that is. That's totally

1:11:37

what I do in the shower. But

1:11:40

I was like alien and now I see it.

1:11:42

That is an alien. Yeah,

1:11:44

it's sort of like your silhouette turns into

1:11:46

this kind of creepy. Yeah,

1:11:50

I don't understand. Glowing. I don't

1:11:52

know. I'm just looking. This

1:11:55

is a five

1:11:57

star view of

1:11:59

a place called. Rex Hotel

1:12:02

by Bob. We

1:12:05

asked at the Rex for a

1:12:07

restaurant serving excellent Viet style food

1:12:09

but not as expensive or luxurious

1:12:11

as the Mandarin. We were directed

1:12:14

to the Noxong Marina. I probably

1:12:16

saying that right? Wrong. Imagine the audacity

1:12:24

I have to say something in Vietnamese and then

1:12:26

go I probably said that right. I immediately

1:12:29

knew what you meant because

1:12:31

you we always say that we don't

1:12:39

say things right so it didn't even process

1:12:41

what you said because I knew what you

1:12:43

meant but that was amazing.

1:12:45

I probably know how to speak

1:12:47

Vietnamese. Anyway, we

1:12:52

were seated on the second floor and thoroughly

1:12:55

enjoyed the performers. If you get a

1:12:57

chance ask for M Tan as your

1:12:59

waiter. He was thoroughly efficient and very

1:13:01

friendly. Our seafood selections tasted very fresh

1:13:03

and had that well-erbed Viet style. Desserts

1:13:05

are excellent. If you

1:13:07

can request a second floor entertainment section.

1:13:09

There were many HCM city couples and

1:13:11

families. We were invited to share a

1:13:13

drink with one group and I had

1:13:15

my picture taken with them. They said

1:13:18

I looked like Clint Eastwood. Happens

1:13:20

a lot whenever Mr. Eastwood is

1:13:22

not himself well seen. They shared

1:13:24

drinks even after learning I wasn't

1:13:26

Clint. End of review. I

1:13:29

did not understand that little bit about

1:13:31

Clint Eastwood. Okay so basically what happened

1:13:33

is this guy was out at a he

1:13:36

was out I'm assuming in yeah in

1:13:39

Ho Chi Minh City

1:13:42

and he was approached by strangers

1:13:44

who asked to take a photo with

1:13:46

him because presumably being white they thought

1:13:48

like oh he has a passing resemblance

1:13:50

to Clint Eastwood. He tells them I'm

1:13:52

not Clint Eastwood. They still wanted a

1:13:54

photo with him regardless. However he made

1:13:56

a slightly tongue-in-cheek comment to say hmm

1:13:59

this happens. all the time when Mr. Eastwood is

1:14:01

like, you know,

1:14:03

like, nobody's seen us in a room together. Oh, I

1:14:06

see. I get it. I think is

1:14:08

what he's saying. Like, you

1:14:10

know, happens a lot when he's not around.

1:14:12

Oh, I see. I see. You know, like

1:14:14

people if there were the direct comparison will

1:14:17

be very obvious kind of thing, but like,

1:14:19

perhaps. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, I see. So

1:14:22

I think that is that

1:14:24

is that. Oh, one time I was in Shanghai

1:14:29

and I got got

1:14:31

recognized. No, somebody on the

1:14:33

tour bus started a rumor. And I only

1:14:35

know this because I was with you were

1:14:38

not on that trip, right? No, I was

1:14:40

actually doing my having a great adventure that

1:14:42

summer. I was interning at Great American Insurance.

1:14:45

And I was right

1:14:47

down by the beautiful Ohio River in

1:14:50

an office and I was the only intern on my

1:14:53

floor in the licensing department. And

1:14:55

I just played with Excel spreadsheets

1:14:57

all day. And I ran out of work two months

1:14:59

in and I had a whole month to go and

1:15:02

they didn't know what to do with me. Anyway,

1:15:05

yeah, he needs to experience

1:15:07

traditional Chinese culture. Yeah,

1:15:09

well, I have. So that's cool. And

1:15:12

I went and on the bus and I was sitting

1:15:14

in the back and all of a sudden people started

1:15:16

taking my photo and I was

1:15:19

my stepmother, my father and I were

1:15:21

the only and then they thought I

1:15:27

was this is not a joke. Well, they didn't really

1:15:29

think I was I think but Julia

1:15:32

Roberts. It

1:15:35

was even more ridiculous. And then it's so

1:15:37

ridiculous. And then my mom or some mom

1:15:39

started going, Yeah, it is. She is Julia.

1:15:42

And I was like, Oh, it's so fucking

1:15:44

funny. I mean, there have been times like

1:15:46

that where she just says shit like that.

1:15:48

And it's the she's like, watch

1:15:50

what happens children. We're more than five. But

1:15:52

in hindsight, it's so fucking funny for her

1:15:54

to go along with this stuff. It's whole

1:15:56

fire. Good friend, Grace,

1:15:58

who speaks Chinese was there

1:16:01

with us and her family. And so I

1:16:03

look and she and her dad and mom

1:16:05

are laughing their heads off and I'm like,

1:16:07

what? And she goes, they think that you're

1:16:10

Julia Roberts. And I go, okay, well that can't

1:16:12

be right. Ask them again. And

1:16:14

they were like, well, you're set.

1:16:16

Everyone's kind of adding to the mystique because we

1:16:19

were like the only white people. So they were

1:16:21

like looking back and like zooming in to see

1:16:23

if I was really Julia Roberts. And I

1:16:26

got off and the tour guide goes, you actually don't look

1:16:28

anything like this. I know,

1:16:30

thank you. You don't need to be told

1:16:32

that. You don't need to clarify. But I was in

1:16:34

a lot of people's selfie or a lot of people's

1:16:37

pictures. How old were you? Like 20? I'm

1:16:39

trying to. Something like that. Was

1:16:41

that when I had that internship? Yeah. Was

1:16:44

like, like. Yeah, I don't know. You were like

1:16:46

early 20s. Or 23, yeah. Early 20s. Like

1:16:48

what? I'm sorry.

1:16:51

It was hilarious. It's like as if someone

1:16:53

said I looked like, I don't

1:16:55

know. It's so wild. It's so funny. It's out

1:16:57

of control, ridiculous. Of course then they

1:16:59

really quickly realized I wasn't, but it was still

1:17:01

kind of like everyone wanted the photo anyway for

1:17:03

some reason. I guess I was a novelty at

1:17:05

the time on this tour. It

1:17:07

was the most ridiculous day. So

1:17:09

I can see why being like, oh yeah, I'm

1:17:12

totally Clint Eastwood. So

1:17:16

that was one of those highlights of my life. I

1:17:19

don't have one of myself, but when I

1:17:21

was in Indonesia, one

1:17:23

person in our group, I forget where we were. We weren't,

1:17:26

I went, I did my own stuff. But we went to a

1:17:29

cultural site. I'm trying to remember the name of it. It doesn't

1:17:31

matter. And there was someone

1:17:33

in our group who was Chinese and he was

1:17:36

about six foot something. He was

1:17:38

like fairly tall and like always

1:17:40

dressed very well. Like, you know, like, I don't

1:17:42

know if you do. Yeah, always like just no

1:17:44

matter where we were, just very well dressed and

1:17:46

just, you know, carried himself very well. Like he

1:17:48

was just one of those people. So

1:17:50

like you notice him in

1:17:53

a positive way, but for all these students, these like

1:17:55

small kids who were there and they saw him and

1:17:57

they ran out to him and they were like. like,

1:18:00

K-pop, K-pop. And

1:18:03

like... Because

1:18:06

he looked like a movie star or something? Because he

1:18:08

had to be... I think

1:18:10

he just carried himself in such a way. And so K-pop... Honestly,

1:18:15

live a life where you enter a

1:18:17

room and you're not even Korean and people

1:18:20

think you're a K-pop. Sorry. That is kick ass. And

1:18:22

so, I

1:18:24

wouldn't tell the story if he had a bad

1:18:26

reaction to it. He handled very well

1:18:29

and was like really like... And all

1:18:31

these kids took photos with him and he like took all these

1:18:33

photos with them and just went along with it. Because he was

1:18:35

like, why not? And like they were having the best time. That's

1:18:37

kind of what happened. I was like, this is... I'm at the

1:18:39

murkiest scenario. What are you going to do? Yeah. And it's a

1:18:41

fun list. You know, no one

1:18:43

means anything negative. But, um... Yeah,

1:18:46

I thought it was really, really funny. I mean, it

1:18:48

boosted my ego for a long time. I got out

1:18:50

of it. Yeah, up until the tour guide said, you

1:18:52

don't look like her. Oh, yeah. And she's

1:18:55

like, only when you smile really big. And I was

1:18:57

like, okay, well, stop. Yeah, they

1:18:59

just made sure you won't do that again. Yeah,

1:19:02

I didn't. Because

1:19:04

then I had to ride a horse and I was like, I

1:19:06

know you won't see me smiling anymore. Until

1:19:08

Carl almost fell off his. Oh, then Carl fell

1:19:11

off the horse. I know all this story. That

1:19:13

wasn't even there. Because he was using a back

1:19:15

scratcher on a horse. What the hell was he

1:19:17

thinking? And by the way, that

1:19:20

back scratcher he had bought earlier that day

1:19:22

after telling us that Carl is one of

1:19:24

our Chinese friends. And he,

1:19:26

like family friends, and he had told us not to buy

1:19:28

anything from these vendors. And then he walks back with like

1:19:30

a whole bag of shit. And we were like, he said

1:19:32

we can't buy anything. He's like, well, I really needed a

1:19:35

back scratcher. I'm like, so you just got

1:19:37

by all these people that you said were going to

1:19:39

like scam us or whatever. And then he comes

1:19:42

back with this fucking gigantic back scratcher. He

1:19:44

was worried they only had one left and he didn't want

1:19:46

you buying it. He wanted

1:19:48

to deter us from thinking the last back. And

1:19:50

then he fell off his horse, rolled

1:19:53

down a hill for a little bit. It was

1:19:55

holding the back scratcher. It was one of the

1:19:57

funniest things that's ever happened. And that

1:19:59

was the same trip. Yeah. Um,

1:20:01

and- Good times that I wasn't there before. Honestly, I'm

1:20:04

glad that you pointed it out because that

1:20:06

was the same trip where I first saw

1:20:08

Jude Law at a restaurant in Shanghai and

1:20:11

I met you- First of 50 times. It's crazy how it

1:20:13

keeps happening. At least. At least. And

1:20:16

I just texted Zadie and Julia the other day. Julia

1:20:19

now texts us about Jude Law all

1:20:21

the time. When he spots Jude Law. He's

1:20:24

not spotting Jude- no one is spotting Jude Law.

1:20:27

He's a hermit if you ask me. The

1:20:30

law of numbers dictates that at least one of those times

1:20:32

was Jude Law. Is that how it works? That's what the law of

1:20:34

numbers is about? The worst part is that the day that I see

1:20:37

Jude Law I'm going to be like, that's not Jude Law. Because

1:20:39

I like now I certainly don't know what he's like anymore. That's

1:20:41

the thing. I probably have. That's

1:20:43

the worst part. You've probably been in the same place as him. I'll be

1:20:45

like, he looks like a young Lewis Capaldi. I

1:20:48

can't put my finger on it. Who is that guy? Um,

1:20:51

so I found this forum, interestingly,

1:20:53

on AskReddit. Uh, or sorry,

1:20:55

yeah, it's our AskReddit. And the question is,

1:20:58

what is the best compliment you have ever received?

1:21:00

I found this forum and it was AskReddit

1:21:02

on Flakes and Whiskles. Yeah, I don't know.

1:21:04

I found this post on- Popular subreddit. Shut

1:21:06

up. I found this post

1:21:08

on our AskReddit. And

1:21:11

it was what is the best compliment you've ever

1:21:13

received? And so this thread, people were thread. Yeah,

1:21:15

I know the word. Okay.

1:21:20

Okay, I said it really confidently and then

1:21:22

I called my name. No, that's one word

1:21:24

you can use. Reddit thread, yeah. Okay. Oh

1:21:27

yeah, it says this thread is archived. Okay. So,

1:21:29

um, this is a delete,

1:21:33

a since deleted account seven

1:21:36

years ago in response to what is

1:21:38

the best compliment you have ever received. Let's

1:21:40

put some positive music under this bad boy.

1:21:42

It says, I was

1:21:44

at a Starbucks and a MILF said I looked

1:21:47

like Jude Law. I'm at least decently attractive, but

1:21:49

I don't really look like Jude Law. It

1:21:51

still stuck with me for quite some time. Well,

1:21:54

was I that MILF? Roberts

1:22:00

told me at a Starbucks one time that I

1:22:02

looked like she'd walk. Oh my god, imagine Julia

1:22:04

Roberts. Oh god. Yeah.

1:22:09

I, uh, the Jude Law one, I know

1:22:12

people sometimes are like, what is

1:22:14

Christie's deal with Jude Law? There's not

1:22:16

a deal. I just have spot- well, so the first time I

1:22:19

saw him, I saw him at a restaurant in Shanghai and I

1:22:21

zoomed in on my, like, shitty phone. I

1:22:23

still have the photos. And I sent them

1:22:25

to my brother and I said, oh, holy shit, I

1:22:27

think Jude Law's at this restaurant and,

1:22:29

um, it was a very fancy restaurant. I was

1:22:32

convinced. And then Alexander has to reign

1:22:34

on my parade. But then I started

1:22:36

spotting him multiple other times. Which is mental illness

1:22:38

at this- if it keeps happening, there's a problem

1:22:40

here. There's something we need to get to the

1:22:42

bottom of. I think people just look like Jude

1:22:44

Law. I think maybe people just look that I

1:22:46

swear- Just for you. I've never seen someone and

1:22:48

thought, is that Jude Law? And-

1:22:50

Really? What is

1:22:52

wrong with me? But I, and I don't even really know

1:22:54

about Jude Law. I just know that I see him all

1:22:56

the time. I've had that experience with multiple celebrities before where

1:22:58

I thought, is that, is that who I think it is?

1:23:01

Never have I had it with Jude Law. You

1:23:04

saw Oscar Nunez though. Is

1:23:07

that his last name? I

1:23:10

think so. Yeah. The Oscar

1:23:12

from The Office. I forget. I've- Yeah. Is

1:23:15

his last name different than his one in show in the show, but his

1:23:17

first name is his name? I

1:23:19

don't know. That might be right.

1:23:21

Yeah, that's right. You're right. You're right.

1:23:24

Nunez. It was him? If

1:23:27

the Starbucks- Barista hadn't called

1:23:29

out Oscar for his

1:23:32

name. I mean, I saw him and I was like, oh,

1:23:34

that looks like him. And then the Barista said Oscar and

1:23:36

I was like, okay, cool. That's him. And

1:23:38

then I just moved on. I didn't say anything, of course. Well,

1:23:40

not of course. I don't know. I just,

1:23:42

I don't do that. But yeah. Otherwise

1:23:45

I would have been- Well, listening to you now, I

1:23:47

don't know why you wouldn't approach us with that kind

1:23:49

of confidence. I

1:23:52

just like- He hadn't had his coffee yet too,

1:23:54

so. You know, the

1:23:57

wildest part is that I searched specifically because I knew

1:23:59

you and Julie. at the very least would want to

1:24:01

know if I searched for Jude Law lookalike. And

1:24:03

I did, and it's

1:24:05

just rough because this is the only one. And

1:24:07

I'm like, surely other people are often purported to

1:24:10

be... What do you mean it's the only one? What's

1:24:12

the only one? Like it's the only person I

1:24:14

could find who like posted about someone saying they

1:24:16

look like Jude Law. And I

1:24:19

thought, well, there have to be more because I'm saying it

1:24:21

about people all the time. Christina,

1:24:23

that doesn't mean anything. It means

1:24:26

literally nothing. Okay. Well,

1:24:28

I was thrilled when I found that a MILF called

1:24:31

this guy Jude Law and it made it so... It's

1:24:33

hilarious and it's very fitting for the show. I just, I'm kind

1:24:35

of... I don't know,

1:24:37

I'm concerned about you. That's all. Okay.

1:24:39

That's all I ask. It's

1:24:43

much appreciated. I'm not going to do anything about it. I'm

1:24:45

just going to have this concern and say it to

1:24:48

everybody so they know I'm concerned. Then someone else

1:24:50

can solve your problems later. Maybe

1:24:52

you'll actually need Jude Law and it'll all be fixed.

1:24:56

That seems right. That seems like probably next

1:24:58

week you'll get a text saying it happened. And

1:25:01

it's you with some random guy who

1:25:03

looks nothing like Jude Law. I finally

1:25:05

met him. You got him

1:25:07

to sign a bunch of stuff. All

1:25:12

that somebody has to do is say, you're right.

1:25:14

And then I'm just, I'm hooked. Like hook

1:25:16

line sinker. Yeah. You got me.

1:25:19

Like if it were Elsie, she'd be like, yeah, oh yeah,

1:25:21

this definitely is Jude Law. So that was the funniest

1:25:23

part is I told... I was with my dad and

1:25:25

stepmom at the restaurant. And I said,

1:25:27

I think that guy's famous.

1:25:29

I think it's Jude Law. And

1:25:31

of course, let's go talk. Yeah, let's go

1:25:33

talk to him. And thankfully

1:25:36

you responded quickly enough. And

1:25:38

I was on the hotel Wi-Fi. This is like 2013 where you

1:25:40

said, no, you told me. No,

1:25:44

you had it in the bud. Have Elsie

1:25:46

say something. And the guy said that wasn't

1:25:48

because you still claim it was him because

1:25:50

you never confirmed it. You still

1:25:52

claim it was him because you never went up to

1:25:54

him. That's the problem. I

1:25:58

shouldn't have said anything. Regrets.

1:26:02

Could have changed the whole course of history. Yeah.

1:26:05

Anyway, that's all I've got.

1:26:07

Thanks for that. Thanks for

1:26:09

everything. You're welcome. Thank you

1:26:11

so much. So long. Thanks for all the

1:26:14

fish. That's

1:26:16

an accessible reference for everyone. It's been a

1:26:19

long time since I've heard that reference. My

1:26:21

goodness. Alrighty. Thanks

1:26:23

everyone for listening. Don't forget to all

1:26:25

those cities we named at the beginning,

1:26:27

get your tour tickets ASAP. You're

1:26:30

going to be able to buy them at beach2sandy.com.

1:26:32

So get the links at least there at

1:26:35

this starting Friday. Starting Friday links are

1:26:37

going to be up. And

1:26:40

yeah, we can't wait to see you live and see

1:26:43

you there. I can't

1:26:46

wait to see Jude Law and every audience we attend.

1:26:48

It'll be delightful. Yeah. You're going to call them out.

1:26:50

You're going to be like, Jude Law is at you.

1:26:52

Please stand up. I'm going to make someone stand up

1:26:54

every single time. Yeah.

1:26:56

So that's something to look forward to. So get

1:26:58

your tickets fast, especially if you look

1:27:01

like Jude Law. Bye.

1:27:04

Beach2Sandy Water2Wet is a Forever Dog

1:27:06

production hosted and produced by Zandy

1:27:08

and Christine Schieffer. Edited

1:27:11

by Marco Padilla. Cover art

1:27:13

by Courtney Aventura. Theme music by

1:27:15

Mavis White. Executive produced by

1:27:17

Mariah Nicholas. Forever Dog

1:27:19

Productions is Joe Silvio.