0:00

Hello, my name is

0:00

Jeremy melder, and I'm the

0:02

presenter from beaming green.

0:02

Before we start, I would like to

0:07

acknowledge that this podcast is

0:07

being held on the traditional

0:11

lands of the Bundjalung people

0:11

and paying our respects to

0:15

elders both past, present and

0:15

emerging. Welcome to Season Two

0:22

of beaming grain. Now available

0:22

on YouTube or your favorite

0:27

podcast platform. We offer a

0:27

array of inspiring guests

0:31

speaking about their life

0:31

experiences, on topics including

0:35

sustainable living,

0:35

environmental issues, and human

0:39

sustainability. So whether

0:39

you're a seasoned eco warrior,

0:44

or just starting your

0:44

sustainability journey, beaming

0:48

Green has something for

0:48

everyone. So join us for season

0:52

two, and let been some Greenham

0:52

together.

1:06

So Steven, welcome to beaming

1:06

green. Now, it's been so long

1:12

that I've done an episode. I'm

1:12

feeling a little bit raw here.

1:15

And to say that we're now in

1:15

front of a camera is another

1:19

challenge. But I'm glad to be

1:19

with my good buddy. And doing

1:24

this live with you on camera. So

1:24

welcome.

1:30

Thanks,

1:30

Jeremy. Yeah, it's a pleasure to

1:32

be here. And I guess I'm feeling

1:32

slightly uncomfortable with

1:38

things in my ears, a big

1:38

microphone in front of me and a

1:41

camera. So thanks for the

1:41

opportunity.

1:45

It's great. Look,

1:45

I know you've been plotting and

1:48

scheming over the last few

1:48

years, and you've come up with

1:53

this you beaut program that

1:53

you're going to be launching

1:57

very, very soon. Do you want to

1:57

tell us a little bit about it?

2:01

Yet? Sure.

2:01

Well, thanks. It's, it's called

2:05

Living a rich and purposeful

2:05

life. And it's a four night

2:08

retreat. Five days, if you will.

2:08

And it's all about assisting

2:13

people to live what the name

2:13

says. So assisting people to, to

2:18

live a rich and purposeful life,

2:18

which for me, is a thriving

2:22

life. And for those people that

2:22

are out there that I guess

2:26

aren't feeling like they're

2:26

thriving, they've maybe thrived

2:28

at a moment in their life. But

2:28

they're feeling a little off

2:32

color, a little louder,

2:32

vibration, a little disconnected

2:35

and asking questions like, Is

2:35

this all life's about? You know,

2:41

I kind of thought life was gonna

2:41

end up a bit different from

2:43

this, do I need to settle with

2:43

this, don't settle with this job

2:47

or this relationship, or this

2:47

term time in my life. And, and I

2:52

guess for those people that are

2:52

feeling that, firstly, I feel I

2:56

feel your pain, because I've

2:56

been through that. And, and I do

2:59

actually feel like there's

2:59

there's some great options on

3:02

offer. And I've spent, I guess,

3:02

the last 15 years cracking, what

3:08

I believe is a universal

3:08

approach to, to doing that. And

3:12

that's what I'm offering over a

3:12

four night five day experience

3:16

called Living a rich and

3:16

purposeful life or lapo, for

3:19

short, larval

3:21

Yes, look, do you

3:21

think, you know, we've just

3:26

overcome COVID Or we believe

3:26

we've come overcome COVID. And I

3:31

think a lot of people were

3:31

reflecting during that period of

3:34

time as to their life, their

3:34

life purpose and so on. Do you

3:39

believe this is something an

3:39

opportunity for someone to come

3:43

on a course like this, to

3:43

reflect and learn and and move

3:48

forward with that?

3:50

Absolutely. And I think, you know, Apple, should I say COVID has presented

3:53

two opportunities. One is for,

3:56

for, for a deep sense of

3:56

reflection. And I think for lots

4:02

of people COVID brought lots of

4:02

gifts. And if you have felt

4:08

propelled from COVID, to change

4:08

your life and to make it better

4:12

than all good to you. For those

4:12

people who are kind of sitting

4:17

more in a lower vibration from

4:17

from law school, they've they've

4:22

kind of had time to reflect on

4:22

their life. And they don't

4:26

really love everything that they

4:26

see, there are aspects in their

4:30

life that they want to change,

4:30

and they perhaps not clear about

4:35

how they might do that, then I

4:35

think that that label is a

4:40

tremendous opportunity for those

4:40

people to move into a to a new

4:44

phase of their life to to take a

4:44

purposeful step towards the kind

4:49

of life they'd like to live and

4:49

that's what larval is all about.

4:53

So I've witnessed

4:53

your your evolution, so to speak

4:56

of where you want it to be, and

4:56

so on. And do you for our

5:01

listeners? Would you like to

5:01

give a little bit of a snippet

5:04

of how this all started and came

5:04

about for you? 15 years ago?

5:08

Yeah. So, so I

5:08

had. So I've always enjoyed a

5:15

pretty good life. I suspect like

5:15

most of your listeners, you

5:20

know, there's been some high

5:20

points and some low points and,

5:23

and I hit a really big low

5:23

point, 14 years ago. I was, was

5:30

married and still married at the

5:30

same woman. Good, I'm proud to

5:33

say two gorgeous kids who are

5:33

now you know, thriving adults, a

5:41

tremendous career and things are

5:41

going really well, in my kind of

5:45

out out my outward facing world,

5:45

my social media world was

5:50

looking good with I'm not a big

5:50

social media player. It was an

5:54

enviable lifestyle, but there

5:54

was something that was kind of

5:57

wrong in what was going on, I

5:57

felt that I felt that tickle of

6:04

something's not quite right. And

6:04

when I I had and a big network

6:10

of people, and when I kind of

6:10

was having the searching

6:13

conversations with those people,

6:13

nobody seemed to be able to

6:16

provide me with, with answers,

6:16

the answers I was looking for,

6:19

in fact, even able to kind of,

6:19

you know, helped me to find the

6:23

path. So I went on more than a

6:23

metaphorical kind of journey to

6:28

kind of find out what was what

6:28

was going on. And then

6:31

eventuated in a trip around

6:31

Australia, with my wife, and my

6:33

kids, and I parked my, my, my

6:33

professional career, which I'd

6:38

striven for 20 years to kind of

6:38

build to the top. And I guess on

6:43

the way around Australia, I was

6:43

sitting on a beach in Cape of

6:47

eek which is northern Western

6:47

Australia, about broom. And it

6:51

just dawned on me, the bit that

6:51

was missing the bit of my life

6:56

that I guess that the awareness

6:56

that was missing for me that I

7:01

needed to kind of finish the

7:01

jigsaw puzzle, so that I could

7:04

step into the next phase of my

7:04

life. And that, for me, really

7:13

was a i, we completely

7:13

reinvented our life, I guess.

7:19

And it doesn't need to be that

7:19

dramatic. But it was dramatic

7:24

for me. And it involves me not

7:24

going back to the partnership

7:27

that I was in, it involved us

7:27

moving into state. So yeah, so

7:34

we did a tree change, and that,

7:34

and now we're talking about tree

7:38

changes, I guess, 14 years ago,

7:38

and there was lots of examples

7:42

of tree changes that have sold

7:42

up and actually found they were

7:46

moving into a lifestyle that

7:46

didn't suit them at all. We

7:50

found that, you know, taking

7:50

that whole transformative kind

7:57

of period, it took me six months

7:57

to work out what was missing.

8:00

And then it took me maybe 14

8:00

years to put all the pieces

8:05

together to get back on track.

8:05

And we invented and reinvented

8:09

ourselves. And we now have, you

8:09

know, a lifestyle that feels

8:13

like it's very congruent and in

8:13

alignment with our value set.

8:17

Not to say that it wasn't like

8:17

that previously, because it was

8:22

I guess we've just, I, we have

8:22

just stepped up to the next

8:26

level and, and the lifestyle

8:26

checked all of the boxes, that

8:31

that, that were really important

8:31

for us, starting with connection

8:35

to who we truly are, who I truly

8:35

am. The relationship I want with

8:40

my my life partner, the

8:40

relationship that I wanted to

8:44

build with my kids, probably the

8:44

most important relationships

8:49

after my relationship with

8:49

Sonia. And then how I turned up

8:54

in the rest of my relationships

8:54

with my family, my community, my

8:58

relationship with place was

8:58

really important. And then how

9:02

do I get alignment all the way

9:02

through my life from there. And

9:06

it's been a process of doing

9:06

that. And, and I feel like, you

9:11

know, we're really, I'm really

9:11

in a place of thriving now. And

9:15

in a place of giving back. It's

9:15

not to say that my life's

9:18

perfect every day. You know,

9:18

yesterday, I woke up tired and

9:24

kind of drag my ass around for

9:24

the whole day kind of licking my

9:27

wounds and feeling a bit sorry

9:27

for myself. So, you know, it's

9:30

not a Nirvana that I'm in, but I

9:30

certainly feel like over the

9:34

last 14 years, my life has gone

9:34

from really good to even better

9:40

than really good.

9:41

Yeah. Yeah. So

9:41

it's kind of like you're

9:45

sharpening your pencil, you

9:45

know, because we've all got,

9:48

we've all got, you know, a goal

9:48

that we're trying to achieve,

9:50

but it's kind of like we're

9:50

trying to find where we fit in,

9:54

in this jigsaw puzzle of life,

9:54

you know, and what our core

9:58

values are, you know, because we

9:58

think We know what our core

10:01

values are. But we kind of,

10:01

well, I think I find different

10:07

bits or aspects of myself that I

10:07

didn't know about very well. And

10:12

the further I go into that,

10:12

that, that is sharpening my

10:15

pencil a little bit more to so.

10:15

So that's really what I want.

10:18

This is what I want to get out

10:18

of this is my understanding gets

10:22

deeper in that aspect of my

10:22

life. So I guess that's what

10:26

you're going through in that 15

10:26

year phase? Well, most of our

10:29

lives, we're going through this

10:29

not just 15 years, because

10:32

you're a little bit older than

10:32

15. But you know, so So I guess

10:36

we're all, you know, being made

10:36

aware of some of our, you know,

10:43

vulnerabilities.

10:45

Absolutely.

10:45

And I love your analogy, the

10:47

sharpening the pencil thing is a

10:47

great analogy. And, you know,

10:50

for me, I'm pretty pragmatic

10:50

kind of a guy. And I realize you

10:54

can actually over sharpen your

10:54

pencil as well, if you make it

10:56

to fine, the end snaps off. And

10:56

I think that's kind of what

11:01

happened to those tree changes I

11:01

was talking about, they kind of

11:04

going, geez, I'm really

11:04

dissatisfied with my life right

11:06

now. And they kind of, it's like

11:06

throwing the baby out with the

11:10

bathwater, you know, they go for

11:10

a big jump, because they're

11:13

dissatisfied with what's

11:13

currently going on. And rather

11:16

than kind of going through a

11:16

process of refinement, they've

11:19

gone for a place of, you know,

11:19

step change. And if you don't

11:23

have the basis for that step

11:23

change, you can step into

11:26

something that's not something

11:26

you want to be where you want to

11:28

be. So think that process of

11:28

sharpening the pencil and honing

11:32

the pencil. And in fact, for me,

11:32

it's about working out that the

11:36

pencils not just one color, it's

11:36

actually 12 colors in my pencil,

11:41

and the importance of making

11:41

sure that I've got balanced and

11:45

each of those 12 colors. That's

11:45

been really key for me.

11:48

Excellent. So

11:48

Steven, you were sharing, we

11:51

were camping a few weeks ago,

11:51

and you were sharing with us

11:54

around or we didn't have a

11:54

campfire, but we're sitting

11:56

around a circle having

11:56

breakfast. And you're sharing

12:00

one of the stories which I think

12:00

is useful for our listeners

12:05

about this gentleman that had a

12:05

quite a substantial rig and the

12:11

status of his life, if you

12:11

wouldn't mind sharing that

12:14

because I think that's kind of

12:14

pertinent to this conversation.

12:19

Yeah, well,

12:19

thanks. I think I just made

12:22

everybody coffee on my, on my

12:22

guest via coffee machine. Henry.

12:26

Yeah. So good burrito. So, yeah,

12:26

so we we ended up this as part

12:34

of this journey, we ended up in

12:34

Berlin, as lots of people do

12:37

going around Australia. And we

12:37

were just at the end of the the

12:40

dry season. So perfect

12:40

conditions. And we stopped in a

12:47

caravan park. And on the way to

12:47

keep the week we were I had my

12:52

you know, my big awareness

12:52

moment. And I noticed over next

12:56

to the the toilet block that

12:56

there was this massive, hugely

13:00

impressive are the the Americans

13:00

would call it it was like one of

13:04

those super duper buses that

13:04

looked like it's the kind of a

13:09

Greyhound bus, if you will. That

13:09

was enormous. Anyway, we went

13:15

off to Cape lovey and then came

13:15

back two weeks later, and this

13:18

past was still parked up beside

13:18

the toilet block. And I took a

13:24

bit of an interest in this and

13:24

this you know, being a bit of a

13:26

gauge what's going on, you know,

13:26

he had a more impressive rate

13:29

than I did, certainly much less.

13:29

So anyway, I got I got talking

13:34

to the guy and he showed me what

13:34

was going on in this in this

13:38

boss and he literally had

13:38

everything that opens and shuts

13:42

so they had a spa bath they had

13:42

a full size series they had like

13:50

a solar the you know, a bigger

13:50

solar system and way bigger

13:54

solar system the average house

13:54

would have had washing machines

13:58

dryers, they could park up

13:58

there, Suzuki Jiminy in the back

14:02

of this thing. I'll just record

14:02

it literally had everything. And

14:08

I was we're including a

14:08

desalination plan. So so for

14:12

those listeners who don't know

14:12

what a desalination plant is,

14:15

basically you can pump up and he

14:15

could pump up 20 vertical

14:18

meters. So you basically, you

14:18

know, drive up to a cliff, throw

14:23

your your pipe into the seawater

14:23

that's below, pump it up,

14:28

filters it and then turn

14:28

seawater into fresh water.

14:30

Oh my god.

14:33

And this is

14:33

all solar powered, right? And so

14:35

pretty much this guy in his RV

14:35

could be anywhere in Australia.

14:41

And I thought it was really

14:41

ironic that over a period of a

14:44

month, he was parked up against

14:44

a toilet block in a caravan park

14:50

and that really felt strange to

14:50

me. Anyway, the the conversation

14:54

kind of deepened and one day

14:54

we'd been to the beach in the

14:57

morning and I came back for

14:57

shower just to wash the salt off

14:59

and there realize this guy,

14:59

again. He's probably in his late

15:04

60s, maybe early 70s. He then

15:04

told me that he'd asked how old

15:09

I was. And I was mid 40s At that

15:09

point, and, and I was going on

15:13

this adventure with my kids

15:13

trying to work out who I wanted

15:16

to be and what was going on, I

15:16

was completely, you know, I was

15:21

a bit gag, you know, the big

15:21

decisions, and the day was, what

15:24

are they gonna have, what we're

15:24

going to eat, where we were

15:26

going to be and what we were

15:26

going to do for the day? And

15:28

where are we going to be here

15:28

again, tomorrow, we'll be going

15:30

somewhere else, these were the

15:30

big questions in my life. And

15:33

that was a great relief. So

15:33

anyway, this guy opens up to me

15:38

in the incredible way that being

15:38

on the road can. And he shared

15:42

with me that he had incredible

15:42

business and financial success.

15:50

But in fact, he'd kind of

15:50

destroyed his life. And he said

15:55

to me, in a really heartfelt

15:55

way, to wish I had the courage

16:02

to step out of my life when I

16:02

was mid 40. Because I could have

16:08

potentially salvaged my, my

16:08

relationship with my wife could

16:13

have salvage the relationship

16:13

with my two girls. And having a

16:18

$2 million RV boss, and a couple

16:18

of houses a house in Pied Piper

16:27

and, and overlooking the harbor

16:27

doesn't kind of make up for that

16:33

loss that he was feeling. And he

16:33

felt that his life was basically

16:38

done. And he went on to share

16:38

with him me that his second

16:43

wife, was the reason why they

16:43

were parked up against this. You

16:50

know, in essence, toilet block

16:50

in a caravan park, because she

16:54

hated traveling. So he painted a

16:54

picture of real regret. And, and

17:02

I just thought, wow, you know,

17:02

this is a guy who, in many

17:09

aspects has got everything the

17:09

things that people are striving

17:12

for. And actually, he had

17:12

nothing. He told me, his his

17:16

girls were estranged, they

17:16

wouldn't talk to him anymore.

17:19

They just thought he was a

17:19

bastard, he used stronger

17:22

language to describe that. And I

17:22

thought, my God, I mean, this is

17:27

just an incredible opportunity

17:27

that I'm being presented with.

17:31

And, you know, he talked about a

17:31

moment where I think a parent

17:38

had died, where he had this

17:38

moment where he could have

17:40

changed his life in his 40s. And

17:40

rather than doing that he just

17:46

doubled down and and invested

17:46

himself in his career. And, you

17:53

know, as a company, Director of

17:53

four or five organizations, the

17:57

guy was worth, you know,

17:57

millions of dollars, clearly,

18:01

back in those days, a $2 million

18:01

camper van was, you know, it was

18:05

something that something did

18:05

something to behold. Right.

18:08

Yeah. I mean, you know, spending

18:08

$2 million on a house was kind

18:13

of almost impossible to do

18:13

unless you were buying kind of

18:17

in the harbor in Sydney. Yeah.

18:17

So he clearly had, he clearly

18:21

checked all the boxes around,

18:21

you know, wealth and reward and

18:25

job and all that kind of stuff.

18:25

But he was miserable.

18:29

What a great

18:29

reminder for you, though, isn't

18:34

it? Like you listening to that

18:34

story? It makes my heart sink

18:39

for that, man? Because

18:39

obviously, he's gone through?

18:45

quite a challenging time. And

18:45

he's reflecting on that,

18:48

hopefully, this this moment that

18:48

you shared, maybe he also took

18:57

something out of that

18:57

discussion, you know, and maybe

19:00

he do you feel like he had any,

19:00

any inkling of changing his life

19:05

at that point or not?

19:08

Any upside?

19:08

Yeah. I don't know. Why, I guess

19:14

what it did was, it just

19:14

reinforced to me, that that the

19:18

courage that I needed to take to

19:18

step away from my career then

19:24

and to invest in understanding

19:24

what was right for me, it just

19:29

reinforced the importance of

19:29

that. And it's really

19:32

interesting as part of this trip

19:32

around Australia, I had a number

19:35

of situations, they kind of

19:35

presented themselves that were

19:38

saying, Hey, dude, don't waste

19:38

this opportunity and be

19:43

courageous. And I think that's

19:43

an incredible it's an incredible

19:49

hit. He was an incredible

19:49

metaphor for me. In fact, he's

19:52

one of the cornerstones for why

19:52

I created Liverpool because I

19:58

don't I don't want to say see

19:58

people getting to the, you know,

20:02

getting close to the end of

20:02

their lives, how many?

20:05

How many are

20:05

there, right? It's not just this

20:07

one person that's isolated, it's

20:07

not an isolated incident,

20:10

there's hundreds of 1000s of

20:10

people around the world that

20:15

think that work is the way

20:15

through and having, you know,

20:19

financial success is the way

20:19

through, that'll make you happy.

20:23

You know, lots of us, including

20:23

myself, you know, thought that

20:26

was going to be a solution, but

20:26

it's not, it does, you know,

20:30

have an impact on your family,

20:30

and those around you. So it's

20:35

kind of a great time to reflect

20:35

on that. Yeah, for me, for all

20:39

of us. But I think, you know,

20:39

like, that time, if I remember

20:44

correctly, was around the same

20:44

time you that your father had

20:47

also died recently. And that

20:47

also had some challenges. So

20:52

this man had an opportunity, you

20:52

know, when his father had died

20:58

to maybe change his career

20:58

direction or his choices, but

21:02

you've, you've made some choices

21:02

there. And you could have gone

21:05

down that path that this

21:05

gentleman had gone down.

21:09

To be fair,

21:09

though. What what happened, my

21:15

dad passed away, my mum got

21:15

sick, my my wife's father got

21:19

really sick and got bumped into

21:19

dementia. So there was a lot

21:21

going on in those days. And I

21:21

would have probably continued on

21:26

the merry path that I was on

21:26

that. But it was like, there was

21:32

something inside me that was

21:32

just awakening. And it was just

21:35

saying, This isn't right. And

21:35

you need to do something about

21:39

that. I had a strong sense about

21:39

that. And I also had some, some

21:43

strong indicators that, that if

21:43

I continued on that path that I

21:48

was kind of playing Russian

21:48

roulette with, with all the

21:51

things that were important to

21:51

me, that life has a really

21:55

tremendous way of throwing up

21:55

what I call significant moments

21:58

of transition. It's another

21:58

tremendous acronym. So I've got

22:02

lateral, and smarts, significant

22:02

moments of transition. And I

22:07

think that life does present us

22:07

these significant moments of

22:10

transition. And that which,

22:10

which provide us with

22:13

opportunities to kind of bump up

22:13

to make a change. It's kind of

22:17

like, well, you know, this

22:17

because you you went overseas

22:21

after you finished high school.

22:21

And lots of people do that, you

22:26

know, they finish high school, I

22:26

finished university, and they go

22:29

overseas to find themselves. And

22:29

our class that is a significant

22:34

moment of opportunity,

22:34

significant moment of

22:37

transition. And when you go

22:37

overseas, you know, this

22:41

yourself, you can kind of

22:41

present to the world who you'd

22:44

like to be, absolutely, rather

22:44

than all the things that kind of

22:49

you were tainted with going through slack,

22:51

Facebook. You bet

22:51

it's, it's real,

22:56

it's real. And

22:56

through these moments, you can,

23:00

you know, people come back, and

23:00

it's like, they reengineer their

23:03

lives, they re engineer the way

23:03

they see themselves, because

23:06

what they put out into the world

23:06

is what gets reflected back to

23:10

them. And for most people. These

23:10

overseas adventures allow them

23:17

to come back in a different

23:17

vibration in a new way, they see

23:22

themselves in a new way. And

23:22

often there's a step change in

23:25

their life, they might change

23:25

direction in career, they might

23:29

settle down and start cleaning

23:29

their cleaning their bedrooms

23:32

and not relying on their mother

23:32

to do washing for them. They

23:35

might learn how to cook. Or

23:35

they're, you know, they might

23:38

start a significant relationship

23:38

or change a significant

23:41

relationship. There's a bunch of

23:41

stuff that goes on with these

23:43

significant moments of

23:43

transition. And certainly death

23:46

of a loved one that you're close

23:46

to. They present tremendous

23:50

opportunities. For reflection,

23:50

you kind of it feels like, for

23:55

me, I feel like when I go

23:55

through one of these moments,

23:59

and I've mapped them, and

23:59

there's 60, that I can identify

24:02

that normal people like you and

24:02

me will experience and some of

24:06

them will be profound, and some

24:06

of them will glide through. And

24:09

some of them may stop us in our

24:09

tracks. And lapo is about people

24:14

that have gone through one of

24:14

these moments. And they're

24:17

looking for answers. They're

24:17

still in that moment where

24:20

they're looking for answers

24:20

about how things could be better

24:23

how things how the pencils could

24:23

be sharpened, or which colored

24:27

pencil they should be focusing

24:27

now on their life. And making

24:32

those purposeful changes rather

24:32

than just being rather than just

24:37

kind of going down the river of

24:37

life with a set of Gold Coast

24:43

posts that may not actually suit

24:43

them, like for instance, old

24:47

mate in broom. I think what he

24:47

was looking for was financial

24:52

security. And that's a great

24:52

thing to have because it forms

24:56

the basis for a life of Not

24:56

worrying about where the next

25:01

meal is coming from. The thing

25:01

is that getting to a place of

25:07

financial security is like a

25:07

graduated, sit gradient for for

25:13

us. And for, you know, people

25:13

that are in, you know, Thailand

25:19

that might be 10,000 US dollars

25:19

a year or $5,000 us a year. But

25:27

in America, it might be four and

25:27

a half million US dollars a

25:31

year. And you have to the thing

25:31

that that may vary here is that,

25:36

once you've got to that place of

25:36

financial security doesn't have

25:38

a material effect on your degree

25:38

of happiness. And in the pursuit

25:42

of continuing to go down that

25:42

path. Are you actually getting

25:46

closer to that place, place of

25:46

joy and thriving that that place

25:50

of living a rich and purposeful

25:50

life? Or in fact, through this

25:54

process? Are you going further

25:54

away from it?

25:56

I mean, I'd look

25:56

at it as collateral damage,

25:59

what's the collateral damage for

25:59

this goal of financial success

26:02

that you're going through? So

26:02

like you've, you know, with with

26:05

you value your kids, and you

26:05

went around Australia, and you

26:08

wanted to build a deep and

26:08

meaningful relationship with

26:11

your kids? And I guess I've got

26:11

a question here, right, by doing

26:15

that, was that worthwhile? Or do

26:15

you think it was worthwhile? I

26:20

think I know the answer to that,

26:20

but in what way

26:27

you kind of

26:27

just about made me tear up

26:33

couldn't have made a more

26:33

valuable investment. Yeah, in

26:39

in, in my son and my daughter, I

26:39

mean, these were fundamental

26:45

turning points in their lives.

26:45

And it was a fundamental turning

26:51

point in their, in the

26:51

relationship with my wife as

26:53

well. And, and a fundamental

26:53

turning point for me. So yeah,

27:00

and that's priceless. It's

27:00

absolutely priceless. And our

27:04

daughter is now a pediatric

27:04

occupational therapist. She's

27:07

only got training wheels on

27:07

right now. And I'm incredibly

27:11

proud of it. But one of the

27:11

motivations for going around

27:15

Australia was that she's, she's

27:15

she's a pretty potent woman. And

27:26

I recognize that. For those

27:26

people out there who have got

27:31

potent women in their lives, it

27:31

can be a bit inconvenient, to

27:36

say the least in what

27:37

way Steven?

27:40

Well, they

27:40

tend to at least my one, my one,

27:47

my wife is the same. They kind

27:47

of rock the boat when they don't

27:51

see things being completely

27:51

straight. And yeah, I guess?

28:01

That's a good question. So my

28:01

daughter used to get stuck into

28:06

me, but she'd also get stuck

28:06

into life. So she was, you know,

28:09

she had a thirst for life. And

28:09

at nine years old, as a dad, I

28:14

was twice her size. I've just

28:14

posted a photograph of him 14

28:17

years ago, which is kind of

28:17

almost where where we were, I

28:21

could kind of keep her on the

28:21

straight and narrow through

28:26

authoritarian kind of

28:26

relationship and my size. But

28:30

she was on the cusp of

28:30

adolescence. And I'd seen lots

28:35

of disasters, heard lots of

28:35

disasters about, you know,

28:40

pubescent girls just becoming a

28:40

real handful. And I didn't feel

28:44

like I had a relationship that

28:44

was strong enough to kind of

28:46

weather that storm. So a big

28:46

motivator for going around

28:49

Australia was to, was to invest

28:49

in that relationship with her.

28:54

And now in, you know, her her

28:54

professional opinion is that we

28:59

didn't do such a bad job,

28:59

apparently, her professional

29:03

opinion, are professional and

29:03

personal. She basically she

29:09

used, she uses her textbook and

29:09

her learnings to kind of full

29:13

effect on her on her childhood,

29:13

and she recognizes that, you

29:19

know, Mum and Dad spending 12

29:19

months teaching them, you know,

29:24

geography and history and

29:24

English and maths and relating

29:29

that to their environment on the

29:29

side of the road, or in a

29:32

national park, or in some desert

29:32

or beach, and relating these

29:39

kind of theoretical subjects

29:39

into everyday life. That made a

29:43

huge difference to her being

29:43

able to kind of relate to her,

29:47

her self in her environment. And

29:47

I think that's an incredibly

29:52

valuable learning, you know, to

29:52

be able to turn up and even this

29:57

morning, you know, I turned up

29:57

without my computer Go for this

30:00

session. And we had a little bit

30:00

of, you know, we had a little

30:04

bit of turmoil because we didn't

30:04

know we'd plan to have this

30:07

conversation. And I turned up

30:07

without a piece of important

30:12

kit. And just being able to be

30:12

in the moment, and just be aware

30:17

of the tension, I felt like I'd

30:17

let you down. I felt like, you

30:22

know, I was just about to waste

30:22

your time and, and all that sort

30:25

of stuff. And then just to kind

30:25

of go, Okay, well, that's

30:29

interesting, let's just see how

30:29

that plays out. And then to move

30:32

forward and to respond to the

30:32

situation in a functional way

30:35

rather than a dysfunctional

30:35

line. And I found a couple of

30:38

dysfunctional ways of kind of

30:38

presenting the situation turned

30:42

up for me. Yeah. And I recognize

30:42

that, you know, you didn't blame

30:46

me for being a complete

30:46

dickhead, not jumping out with

30:49

my computer. And you could have,

30:49

right, so Well,

30:52

I didn't ask you

30:52

to bring your computer. So that

30:55

was an assumption on my part. So

30:55

anyway, that's it to two pronged

30:58

attack there, we could have

30:58

explained just communicating.

31:02

And I think by

31:02

being in touch with being in

31:05

connection with place and our

31:05

emotions, and then choosing to

31:10

respond to the circumstance is

31:10

an incredibly valuable skill.

31:17

And I guess, you know, Alyssa

31:17

says that going around

31:20

Australia, and being with mom

31:20

and dad, 24/7, for a year, had

31:27

its ups and its downs, but some

31:27

of the UPS allowed her to just

31:31

to be with herself, and to

31:31

respond to what was going on in

31:35

your environment. And that

31:35

allows her to build capacity at

31:39

an incredibly young age.

31:42

Absolutely. And

31:42

don't forget you, you both

31:46

qualified teachers as well and

31:46

did a great job teaching them.

31:52

That's true.

31:52

That's true, we are both

31:55

teachers, so bad, bad. I mean,

31:55

for those, for those people out

31:59

here who are inspired to go

31:59

around Australia, in their 40s,

32:03

with kids that are under 10, I

32:03

would say do it. If you've got

32:06

the resources to do it, do it.

32:06

And you can feel the urge to

32:09

scratch that itch. And, you

32:09

know, this is a plug for

32:14

Queensland and Victoria and

32:14

education systems, they will

32:18

provide you with all the

32:18

materials that you need to

32:21

provide your kids with a

32:21

learning experience. And our

32:23

kids came back in front of their

32:23

peers really at the end of the

32:27

12 month periods. And we took

32:27

them out. So they did the first

32:33

two terms, we took them out for

32:33

term three, and they came back

32:37

at term three. So you know,

32:37

we're not even talking about a

32:41

clean calendar year kind of went

32:41

over two years. And the kids

32:46

just and they went into a

32:46

completely new foreign

32:48

environment, we put them into

32:48

school in New South Wales

32:51

country, New South Wales, which

32:51

was very different from their,

32:55

from their teacher from their

32:55

learning experience when they

32:57

were in, in Canberra. So you

32:57

know, these kids are adaptable,

33:02

and teaching them to be

33:02

adaptable, teaching them to be

33:06

resourceful, teaching them how

33:06

to be resilient, these are

33:09

massive skills for for life and

33:09

saying mom and dad, not really

33:16

knowing what the plan was. I

33:16

mean, you know, a trip around

33:21

Australia is kind of futile,

33:21

right? Because your end

33:24

destination is where you start?

33:24

Yeah. So it's kinda like, what,

33:29

and it's all about the journey.

33:29

And it's, and the interesting

33:33

thing is that when we got to the

33:33

end of the journey, Our

33:36

destination was somewhere different.

33:39

It's like, what,

33:39

northern New South Wales

33:43

and EU and,

33:43

and we were strongly called to

33:46

this part of the world. But, you

33:46

know, what was clear about this

33:49

part of the world was that my

33:49

career because you know, working

33:53

remotely, and all that kind of

33:53

stuff wasn't as, as prevalent as

33:58

it was, as it is today. There

33:58

were that it came with the

34:01

responsibility of a reinvention.

34:01

But the beautiful thing was that

34:05

the reinvention was kind of on

34:05

our terms, not on not on the

34:09

other terms, not on the the

34:09

terms that were kind of defined

34:13

by anybody else. And I think

34:13

that's what levels about law

34:15

pool is about providing people

34:15

with a way to respond uniquely

34:20

to their circumstances, and to

34:20

their dreams, and then to start

34:25

making meaningful progress from

34:25

current reality to dream. That

34:29

sounds pretty good.

34:30

Sounds great.

34:30

Now, Steven, we're just about

34:33

running out of time in our

34:33

segment that we're going to do

34:36

just the introduction to Laffel

34:36

or your background as to where

34:40

you how you started this, which

34:40

we're going to go into what

34:45

happened in the 15 year period

34:45

next in the next episode, but

34:50

you're offering a unique

34:50

opportunity for people in May

34:54

and of May to join the retreat

34:54

at gamea eco retreat. Is it the

34:59

31st Mind, do you want to put in

34:59

a bit of a plug for that so that

35:03

people can go to your website

35:03

now? And, and register their

35:08

interest and or even come?

35:10

Wow. Well,

35:10

thanks. Yeah, that sounds great.

35:15

So I've got a bit of an issue

35:15

with the whole kind of marketing

35:21

thing, because I don't want anybody there, I don't want to get anybody there by any, you

35:23

know,

35:25

no spin,

35:26

no spin. So, I

35:26

haven't actually done any

35:31

marketing from this, I've just

35:31

reached out to a bunch of people

35:33

via email. I've got 24 places,

35:33

it starts on Wednesday, the

35:40

31st. of May, and it goes to

35:40

June, the fourth Sunday, June

35:44

the fourth. And for your

35:44

viewers, this sounds like a

35:49

marketing grab. There's an early

35:49

bird pricing so so what I'm

35:54

offering is, it's probably a

35:54

four and a half $1,000 value,

35:59

and I'll offer your guests the

35:59

earlybird rate, which is

36:06

something less than than $2,000.

36:06

I don't know, I wasn't kind of

36:10

prepared for this offer. But there's,

36:12

we'll be putting

36:12

that on the website, on the

36:14

beaming green website, and also

36:14

in Facebook marketing, for him,

36:19

not that we're into marketing

36:19

too much, but you will find out

36:22

about it somehow.

36:23

So So

36:23

basically, it's an all

36:26

inclusive, immersive experience

36:26

at a time here retreat, which is

36:33

an eco retreat up here in

36:33

northern New South Wales, and

36:37

you will be fed, delicious,

36:37

organic food. And there'll be

36:43

plenty of it for those guys that

36:43

think you need to have a good

36:47

plate of meat to be satisfied.

36:47

It's not just vegetarian. So it

36:51

is vegetarian. It's a vegetarian

36:51

organic, food prepared by just

36:59

one of the most amazing chefs.

36:59

It's four nights accommodation,

37:04

and you've got a twin share

37:04

option, or you've got a room on

37:06

your own option. Day Spa

37:06

massage, sound therapy, and a

37:15

bunch of other really cool stuff

37:15

immersed in in northern New

37:17

South Wales plus just an

37:17

incredible, rich program. So for

37:23

your for your listeners, I would

37:23

love to offer that at at the

37:27

earlybird rate, which is

37:27

literally half of what the

37:30

commercial rate will be. And

37:30

this is my first group retreat.

37:34

So in some respects, you know,

37:34

we're going to be doing some,

37:37

some refining and some honing of

37:37

that. And if people enjoy what

37:42

they love, I would love them to

37:42

provide me with some

37:46

testimonials. I've run people

37:46

through the course before. In

37:50

fact me in fact, you Yep. Which

37:50

you will you can talk about

37:55

that. But I really feel like

37:55

this is my gift to the world.

38:01

And I'd love to find a way to

38:01

provide it both in a face to

38:05

face but also in a more

38:05

contemporary kind of way to do

38:09

that as well. So yeah, so 31st

38:09

of May to the fourth of June, up

38:14

here in northern New South

38:14

Wales, there are still 16 places

38:21

that are available, right, yes,

38:21

16 places that are available.

38:24

And we're just about to start

38:24

marketing process. So

38:27

fantastic. So for

38:27

the listeners, I have done the

38:30

pilot version of this retreat

38:30

with Steven, today, I can't give

38:36

you a 32nd grab here because

38:36

there's a lot more detail than

38:39

this. But Stephen will, you know

38:39

he's put a lot of energy into to

38:46

producing this program. As he

38:46

said his it is the first one

38:50

that he's putting out, and he's

38:50

giving us a really great price

38:54

for our listeners to attend. And

38:54

have a look on the website la

39:00

apple.com.

39:01

That's L A. P

39:01

now.com.

39:05

Great, and there's there's going to be a lot of information as to what

39:07

Steven is doing. And we are

39:12

going to continue this

39:12

conversation because I think

39:15

it's important that we get a bit

39:15

more background as to where

39:18

Steven, why Stephen has done

39:18

this. And hopefully you're

39:23

enjoying this conversation and

39:23

we'll speak to you next

39:31

time. Thanks for tuning into

39:31

beaming green. Don't forget to

39:36

check out our YouTube

39:36

[email protected] And leave us a

39:41

review on your preferred podcast

39:41

or subscribe to us on YouTube.

39:47

And a special thanks to Dave and

39:47

to Roman Senate on Pixabay for

39:53

producing some amazing music.

39:53

Keep living green and we'll see

39:58

you next time. Bye Hi