It’s a bonus edition of the Beauty in Christ podcast.  I don’t normally record more than one in a week, but self love has been weighing heavy on my heart, and I’ve been sensing the prompting of the Holy Spirit to speak God’s truth about this.   In my eating disorder, the problem was not that I didn’t love myself enough; in fact I focused on myself more than I would even like to admit.  I was consumed with me; I could hardly see what others were dealing with and all the hardships and brokenness around me.    

In fact.  

I loved myself a lot.  That was the problem.  

I often thought about myself.  

I thought about my calorie needs, my workouts, the food I ate, and I couldn’t really see that I was hurting my family and dishonoring my Savior Jesus Christ by the way I was treating my body and living my life.  

Several verses have stood out to me in this journey: 

Ephesians 5:29-30 has hit the issue of self love for me HARD, ‘

For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.’  

Now don’t get worried that I’m saying, we shouldn’t care for ourselves.  We need to care for our bodies.  After all 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 reminds me daily that I am the temple of the Holy Spirit, that I was bought with a price, that I don’t have the right to abuse or to be cruel to the body that God formed in my mother’s womb 24+ years ago.  

I LOVE how God’s Word keeps me balanced, because I can tend to swing from ONEEE side to the other side, but Psalm 139 reminds me of the wonder of the human body, the wonder of it, and it reminds me that it’s not something to be lightly cared for.  

Psalm 139:13-16, ‘For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.  I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.  Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.’  

Why I didn’t need more self love in recovery… I needed the love and mercy of God. #edrecovery
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What are the two sides of the coin?  (Well I made a podcast for you talking about the balance of caring for your body and loving others because Jesus has loved me)  

I talked about: 

1.  Realizing the love of Jesus for a sinner like me, and that has started to fuel my desire to love others and follow Jesus more.  

2.  Realizing that recovery and ED wasn’t about me loving myself enough, but I didn’t realize that I had ALREADY been perfectly loved and forgiven from all my dark wretchedness by my Savior.   

3.  What Laying Down your Life Doesn’t Mean (I’m still learning this) 

4.  What God is Teaching Me That Laying Down Your Life Does Mean  

5.  Why Matthew 16:25-26 has both troubled me and comforted me, ‘For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?’   

6. Why Jess Inspired Me to Do This Podcast with her Instagram Post.  

7.  The Kind of Love I Really Needed To Help Me Recover 

8.  Why My Problem Was Myself, but Jesus Did and Is Releasing Me From My Self Focus 

9.  The Balance of Caring for Your body but not focusing on yourself 

To go to the post that inspired this podcast, I have Jess’s picture here, and you can visit her profile to read what she said! 

One of the greatest comforts to me has been these verse from Ephesians 1 in securing me and my identity in Christ Jesus, reminding me that I’m already accepted in the beloved, that I need only one love, and that’s Jesus.   

Ephesians 1:3-6, ‘Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ:  According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.’  

What has God taught you about His love?  

Self Love: I want to hear your thoughts on it!   Even if you disagree, I do want to hear what you think!    

The post Why Self Love Wasn’t My Problem – Episode #51 appeared first on Beauty In Christ - The Book.