0:00

Hi, I'm Pat Kelly. And I'm

0:02

Peter Oldring. And we're the hosts of This Is

0:04

That. Are you kidding? For over

0:06

a decade, we were radio's go-to source

0:08

for completely fabricated news. You

0:11

must be joking me. And now, we're back

0:13

in podcast form. We've selected

0:15

some of our favourite stories from over the years

0:18

and put them in one convenient location.

0:20

Sugar in the tap water. Bilingual

0:22

dog park. Starting to see

0:24

wildlife. This Is That, coming

0:26

soon on CBC Listen and everywhere you

0:29

get your podcasts.

0:31

This is a CBC

0:34

podcast.

0:37

Wab Kinew has promised to represent

0:39

all Manitobans. The crisis in governance

0:41

deepens inside the speakerless US

0:44

Capitol. This is a very serious matter. We're not serious.

0:46

Let's be serious. I

0:47

did everything right and they indicted

0:49

me. Because news. With Gavin Crawford.

0:55

Thank you very much, everyone. I am

0:57

Gavin

0:58

Crawford. Welcome to Because News,

1:00

Canada's funniest news quiz. It

1:03

is the fifth anniversary of legal

1:05

weed in Canada and studies show many

1:07

cannabis businesses have been starting to fail.

1:10

If this worrying trend continues, Canadian

1:12

cannabis users may have to walk upwards

1:15

of six, possibly even seven steps

1:17

between dispensaries.

1:21

Over the next 30 minutes, we'll be making games

1:23

out of the news. Let's welcome this week's panel.

1:26

She did a couple of shots before the show,

1:29

a COVID shot and a flu shot, but

1:31

she's still feeling pretty good. Please

1:33

welcome Alice Moran.

1:34

Hello. Hello. Hello.

1:38

Hello. Hello. Hello.

1:40

Hello. In the middle chair, we

1:42

have a long-standing agreement with this guy, but

1:45

he says if there's no pharma care by the end of the

1:47

show, that deal is off. Please welcome

1:49

Chris Siddiqui.

1:50

I'm serious. I'm

1:52

serious about that. And finally, he was

1:55

this close to getting a part in the Michelle Obama

1:57

musical, but he didn't get to do it. quite

2:00

heavy arms for it. Please welcome

2:02

Eric the Tank Peterson. Thank

2:07

you, thank you very much. Very,

2:09

very, very lovely of you to welcome me like

2:11

that. Are you ready panel?

2:14

Yes. Yes. Oh yes, yes, yes. I

2:17

just nodded off there for a moment. Perfect. Perfect

2:20

time to start.

2:20

Here we go. Yeah.

2:24

Panel Halloween is fast approaching and what

2:26

would the run-up be without a spooky news

2:29

clue? Have a listen to the fake

2:31

movie trailer and be prepared for

2:33

questions about this week's headlines.

2:36

This clue cast starring Alice Moran.

2:41

Steve, I'm getting a bad

2:43

feeling about this place. It's

2:44

so cold. What are you talking

2:47

about Cheryl? This is gonna be great.

2:50

Steve, there's

2:53

a note. It says we have

2:55

to strip the bed and end these in dishwasher

2:58

or no charge is extra.

3:00

No, that can't be right. Let

3:02

me check online. The

3:04

Wi-Fi. I can't get

3:07

on the Wi-Fi. You know what?

3:09

Why don't we just get out of here and find ourselves

3:12

a cute coffee shop. We're like all

3:14

the locals are hanging out.

3:15

We can't Steve. The neighborhood

3:17

is dead. The whole neighborhood is dead.

3:23

Can you afford Ghost

3:26

Hotel? The

3:29

housing crisis compels

3:31

you. Wow. Panel,

3:39

you heard the movie trailer for Ghost Hotel.

3:41

According to the headlines, what is a

3:44

ghost hotel? It's a hotel for

3:46

ghosts. It's a hotel

3:48

for ghosts or any other kind of paranormal

3:51

beings, you know, vampires. All

3:53

these people like to travel like the rest of us. Business

3:57

and they need to stay someplace. I

4:00

actually know this, Gav. Airbnb

4:03

is specializing in haunted

4:06

places. So you can go stay

4:08

in a haunted place. You're

4:10

close by saying Airbnb, but it is not

4:12

that. Does anyone know for real, what is a ghost hotel? A

4:14

ghost hotel is when like a whole condo

4:17

building is essentially Airbnb's instead of

4:19

homes for people who live in the place. The

4:21

headline from CBC News reads, number of ghost

4:23

hotels in Toronto contributing to housing

4:26

crisis and surging prices. Ghost

4:29

hotels are made up of many units

4:31

known as STRs. What

4:34

is an STR?

4:36

It's something I had in college.

4:38

Chris,

4:42

do you know what an STR is? Yes,

4:45

it is something that I gave Alice in

4:47

college. Short-term

4:52

rental is the correct answer.

4:55

The City of Toronto released a report this week which

4:57

found that in just three downtown condo

4:59

buildings alone, 600 units

5:02

are short-term rentals. Whoa!

5:05

Alice, do you live in a condo? Is there a lot

5:07

of STRs in your condo?

5:08

Not in my building, but I live near

5:11

City Place and City Places a lot

5:14

of

5:14

Airbnb's and it's not good.

5:17

What's the problem? Well, your neighborhood is just full

5:20

of people who don't live there. They don't

5:22

bring anything to the neighborhood other than like

5:25

loud parties and vomiting. And

5:27

I have a dog that will eat anything.

5:30

So for me, it's real

5:33

gross. Well, Toronto is looking

5:35

for solutions. BC took a very bold

5:38

step this week. According to the Vancouver Sun, what

5:40

is British Columbia doing to crack down on

5:42

ghost hotels? Well, I hope they

5:44

would be calling the ghost hotel busters. What

5:50

are they doing here? Well, by law, each

5:52

guest has to be checked for being

5:54

alive. They put a

5:56

small mirror under your nose to see if there's

5:59

any breath. And then you can go to

6:01

your room They have

6:03

passed new legislation which will result

6:06

in heftier fines for hosts who break

6:08

the local bylaws Fines would start

6:10

at three thousand dollars per day and can

6:13

go as high as fifty thousand dollars per day Depending

6:17

on the municipality Short-term

6:19

rentals can only be offered in the host's

6:22

primary residence So if

6:24

you own two condos or landlords

6:26

who own multiple condos They need to make

6:28

those condos long-term rentals

6:31

According to Airbnb. What is the downside of

6:34

these new regulations for British Columbian?

6:36

Oh, well, they're gonna ruin Halloween for them You

6:41

know there's gonna be no haunting is gonna be

6:43

really down because people have no place About

6:47

all those ambulatory corpses, where

6:49

are they gonna stay poor guys sticking

6:52

with the actual news story? What? Alice

6:56

is the downside that says Airbnb for British

6:58

Columbian

6:58

says Airbnb that they'll

7:00

make less money Why would we

7:03

ask for their opinion on their terrible

7:05

service?

7:05

They

7:07

said it makes travel to and within

7:09

BC unaffordable and reduces tourism

7:12

Have

7:12

they seen housing in British Columbia?

7:14

It's also unaffordable

7:15

Under

7:17

the new regulations British Columbians will require

7:20

a business license in order to rent

7:22

short-term So that they will be

7:24

able to more accurately police people

7:26

who are breaking the rules Before

7:29

this legislation, how did they find out if

7:31

people were breaking the rules?

7:32

It just went on Airbnb and they messaged

7:34

like hey, I just want to stay here I just want to check are

7:37

you breaking any rules death not

7:38

the government law? That

7:43

is a good guess they say it has previously

7:45

been up to community policing. Oh,

7:47

yeah We know what happens when you leave things up to community

7:50

policing vigilantes. Exactly.

7:52

We got Batman Superman spider-man,

7:55

I love the idea of Batman going around

7:57

and knocking on doors being like hey

8:00

I should have it here, B2B!

8:01

This is a short-term rental. I'm

8:06

gonna

8:06

need you to stay here for more than three months. How

8:10

long have I been staying in this place, Batman?

8:15

Riddle me there. You

8:18

were born in the short-term rental. Maybe

8:22

these rules will come to Ontario as well, but

8:24

I doubt it, since we're run by the penguin.

8:31

Because News Canada's

8:32

News

8:33

Quiz. Today on the panel we've got

8:35

Alice Moran, Eric Peterson and Chris

8:37

Siddiqui.

8:38

You

8:41

can catch Chris starring in a new show on

8:43

Netflix that is in the top ten right now. It

8:46

is called I Woke Up a Vampire.

8:48

You

8:50

play the collector? What do you collect? I

8:52

collect children. Literally,

8:55

I collect because the collector is like

8:57

this sort of villain, right? And

9:00

the world is filled with these blended, like half

9:02

vampires and half werewolves, and I

9:04

have to collect the blended. Better you

9:06

than me. You can stream

9:08

it worldwide on Netflix. Yeah!

9:18

It is time for a musical Connect Four panel.

9:21

I want you to have a listen to these four

9:23

song clips, all of

9:25

which have to do with the story from the

9:27

news this week. I'm dying out of my skin!

9:47

Those songs are all related to a story that was making

9:49

headlines, but that's because they all get played at a very specific time. When do you

9:51

think those songs play? They

9:55

play the moment I step out

9:57

of the bathroom. Eric,

10:02

do you know when those songs go? Yeah, well, they play them

10:04

when some people are happy

10:07

and some people aren't. Goal.

10:10

They're goal songs. You

10:12

are correct for the point. Those songs are played

10:15

when an NHL goal is scored. Oh,

10:18

right of course. Those are all goal songs. Those

10:20

songs were for San Jose, Boston, Calgary,

10:22

and Ottawa. Goal songs were

10:24

in the news this week because the Toronto Maple

10:26

Leafs ditched the goal song they've

10:28

been using for the last five years.

10:31

Now, surely you've watched the Leafs game in

10:33

the last five years. You should be able

10:36

to answer this. What goal song

10:38

got the boot? I don't know the

10:40

name of it, but I know how it goes. It goes, Fabricland.

10:45

Fabricland. Eric? It

10:49

was that Hall of Notes thing, eh? You're

10:52

correct for the point. Oh, really? Yeah.

10:55

How does it go? Does anybody know how it goes? You

10:57

make my dreams come true. You make my dreams come true. Oh.

11:00

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah. Before

11:02

that it was. You make my dreams

11:05

because come true is now a total

11:07

fabrication that even people that

11:10

have root heart and soul for

11:12

this team could not put up with. That's what they had

11:14

to get rid of it because people started singing like, you

11:16

make my dreams shatter at the end of every

11:18

season when you're so close. Change

11:21

the lyrics. Here

11:24

is the song. See,

11:31

you're all into it. I

11:36

feel like maybe they shouldn't have got rid of it now. It's

11:38

a bop. Will that bring you

11:40

to your feet after a goal?

11:41

I mean, this year for Halloween, my partner

11:43

and I are going as Hall and Slutty Oats.

11:46

So yeah.

11:46

Are

11:49

you psyched for this hockey season, Eric? Are you ready?

11:51

Well, you know, it's hard, eh? The hockey season

11:53

is so long and you

11:56

know, the playoffs are not until next

11:58

June or something. watching a kind

12:00

of hockey that you know, you know, we have

12:02

to go through all these games.

12:03

I mean, the Leafs, they play

12:06

a dandy

12:06

game these days. There's no doubt about

12:08

that. They just get into trouble in

12:10

the playoffs. But they're a real

12:12

fun team to watch. So yeah, I

12:15

like the hockey, but there's a lot of sports

12:17

going on right now, eh? And it's

12:19

just as well, because the news

12:22

is awful. So there's lots of

12:24

sports going on. There's football, baseball.

12:27

I like that you're at the phase of your life where you're

12:29

like, the only problem with hockey is the whole first

12:31

part of the season. Get to the

12:33

playoffs. I don't have the time.

12:36

That's a good point. I don't have the time.

12:38

I've lived my whole adult life, you

12:41

know, waiting for the Leafs to win a Stanley

12:43

Cup, and I'm starting to worry. The

12:51

Leafs have not in fact settled

12:53

on a new goal song just yet. Instead, they're auditioning

12:56

a bunch of contenders. At the

12:58

season opener, they played a remix of Kid

13:00

Cudi's Pursuit of Happiness, but that song

13:02

drew complaints. What was wrong with the

13:04

Kid Cudi song? Is this a lyric driving

13:07

drunk doing my thing? Yes, that

13:09

is correct. They did decide

13:11

not to continue with the Kid Cudi song.

13:14

No. Any other songs you think the Leafs

13:16

should try? I want the Erythmics, you

13:18

know, sweet team.

13:21

Especially the lyrics. Some of them want

13:23

to use you. Some of them want to get

13:25

used by you. Some of them want

13:27

to abuse you. Some of them want

13:29

to be abused. Now, this is a very good

13:32

description of the relationship, the

13:35

dysfunctional relationship between

13:37

this hockey team and the lifelong

13:40

fans that are waiting for them to

13:42

finally win a Stanley Cup.

13:46

It's like Annie Lennox was in the room.

13:51

The Vancouver Canucks, for their part,

13:53

use a classic 80s movie anthem as

13:56

their goal song.

13:57

They use the 1988 theme to beaches.

13:59

Yeah, which is the wind beneath my wing. Now

14:03

that's a hockey game I could get behind.

14:06

Chris, 80s movie anthem. The

14:09

never ending story. Oh,

14:13

well, well, well.

14:16

Eric? I didn't even know they had a goalie

14:18

song there. They have that huge

14:20

horn. That bloody loud

14:23

horn that sounds like a super tanker. They

14:25

do indeed have a big horn and then they follow it up

14:27

with this. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

14:40

And after every goal, Ali Sheedy

14:42

comes out with a makeover and you're like,

14:44

no, you look so bad, it's better as a

14:46

god. I know, right? Alice Moran. Yes?

14:50

I'm going to put you on the spot here because I believe you

14:52

should know this. Can you tell me what

14:54

song gets played when the Edmonton Oilers

14:56

score a goal? I

14:57

can't, Gavin, because I've seen this season

14:59

so far. Wow, slam. Slam

15:03

on your favorite team.

15:05

Last year's season it was like a 90s

15:07

club banger. I don't know the name of the song.

15:09

It's Fucks Land by XL. Sounds

15:11

like this. But

15:18

when we win games, we

15:20

have a way better song and it's La Bamba. You'll still

15:22

get a point for 90s club bangers because that was very

15:24

clever. Nice. That's what happens when Conor

15:26

McDavid lights up the scoreboard, but it's another Connor

15:29

who has really got hockey

15:31

fans gushing this season for the point

15:34

which Connor is the

15:36

talk of the league this year? Bedard. You

15:39

are correct for the point. It is. Connor

15:41

Bedard. Hockey News headline

15:43

reads that Connor Bedard, medium machine

15:45

is off and running. Why

15:48

all the hoopla about 18-year-old Connor

15:50

Bedard? Well, to use a hockey parlance.

15:53

Connor Bedard is what we call

15:55

a fancy boy king whom

15:57

the gods have blessed. He

16:01

is considered quote a generational talent.

16:03

The next Sidney Crosby. According

16:06

to the Globe and Mail, Connor Baddard is at the

16:08

beginning of his career but he's already a master

16:11

at something else hockey players

16:13

need to master. What

16:15

does the article say he is already

16:17

a master of? He is the master of his fate

16:20

and the captain of his soul. Wow.

16:23

Eric what is he the master of? Well I, ah,

16:26

Cappell Kelly wrote

16:28

this wonderful thing. I'm sorry I

16:31

had read it so I know the answer to this. Don't

16:33

be sorry that's actually the point of this show. He

16:35

said 18 years old and he cliches like a man twice

16:38

his age. You

16:45

are exactly correct. I thought that was wonderful.

16:47

The Globe headline reads, Connor Baddard has an electric

16:49

presence on the ice and a cliched

16:52

poise off of it. Wow. What

16:54

do you think that means? You got to keep it simple, play

16:56

hard, create some opportunities, keep skating,

16:59

get the puck deep and score more goals and then

17:01

we'll win for sure.

17:03

You should coach a hockey

17:05

team man. Come on.

17:08

He's very great at the hockey talk where you don't really

17:10

say anything but you still do the interview. Now

17:13

to prove this I've dug out a bunch of Connor Baddard

17:15

press conferences for some of his vaguest

17:17

answers. I'll play one of the reporter's

17:20

questions and then I want you to guess

17:22

the cliche the rookie responded

17:24

with. Oh sweet. Ellis you're up first.

17:26

Here is Connor Baddard in a press conference from

17:29

last January when he was playing for Canada's

17:31

World Juniors. What has to happen

17:33

for Canada to be successful tonight? Um

17:35

I think we gotta play a little. A little

17:38

harder out there. We gotta play a little faster. We gotta get

17:40

in there deep. We gotta get those pucks friggin moving. Let's

17:43

see if you're correct. What has to happen

17:45

for Canada to be successful tonight? I

17:48

think we gotta

17:49

play a little simpler. That's what we're saying

17:51

when we're not you know going to our to our best

17:53

but you know when we got when we got the guys we got if

17:55

we're we're in there and they're not gonna have not gonna

17:57

have a very good time.

17:59

You didn't get accurate words, but you got the tone

18:02

exactly correct. Over

18:04

to you, Chris Siddiqui. Yeah. Here's Connor Bedard

18:06

at the beginning of the Black Hawks training

18:08

camp. Have a listen to this reporter's question

18:10

and get ready to complete the hockey cliché. How's

18:13

the cooking going? Because you said your mom was instrumental,

18:16

you know,

18:17

early on in your career. How are

18:19

you doing it solo?

18:21

How

18:23

did Connor Bedard react to the

18:25

cooking question, Chris? He's like, yeah.

18:32

Anyone for the steal? Oh, yeah. You know, you

18:34

just you got to get in there. You got to add

18:36

that salt. You got to chop up those veggies. You

18:39

know, you hope for your best. You show up every night. You hope for

18:41

your best. Sometimes you get a soup going.

18:44

You got to move that spatula around. 110 cents. Through

18:46

the pot. Here is

18:48

actual Connor Bedard. How's

18:50

the cooking going? Because you said your mom was instrumental,

18:53

you know, early on in your career.

18:56

Yeah, I just kind of FaceTime her, put her

18:58

on the counter and tell her what to do. So

19:02

she's making it easy on me. But yeah,

19:04

maybe try to be a lot more independent

19:06

at some point.

19:09

Well, there you go. Very good job, panel. And good luck

19:11

to Connor Bedard. And let me just remind you, you

19:14

will miss 100 percent of the shallots

19:16

you don't bake. Y'all

19:19

ready for this? Because news

19:22

making

19:24

the news.

19:32

I don't know what's real. I don't know what's not

19:34

real. Limited capacity is

19:36

a collection of six darkly amusing

19:38

stories about the mysterious ways we interact

19:40

with the Internet and with each other. There's

19:43

something going on with him. It's like an

19:45

act. I don't trust him. What?

19:49

You're staring at me like I should say something, but I don't really know what to do here. That's

19:51

the whole name of the game. Don't talk

19:54

about how the town isn't real. You understand?

19:56

Limited capacity available now on

19:59

CBC Listen.

19:59

wherever you get your podcasts.

20:04

This week the Toronto Star said the cyclical

20:06

arrow symbol for recycling needs

20:08

to be updated. The new image

20:11

will more accurately reflect the recycling

20:13

process by depicting a garbage truck

20:15

just taking it to the same landfill as everything

20:17

else.

20:23

It's time for banking news. No,

20:26

it's not about inflation for once.

20:28

This story is about a good old fashioned firing.

20:31

The BBC reports that Citibank has won

20:33

a controversial lawsuit over an unfair

20:36

dismissal. The employee

20:38

thought he was wrongfully fired after claiming

20:40

something on a business trip to Amsterdam.

20:44

What did the bank sack the man for

20:46

claiming in Amsterdam? Just

20:49

a whole mess of tulips. Just

20:52

expensed a bunch of tulips? Yeah.

20:55

Well, he expensed the cost

20:58

that he put out of a replica

21:00

of Hans Brinker's finger in a

21:02

dike. A legitimate banking

21:05

expense, I think, in these

21:07

times of, you know, recessionary

21:10

economies. Gavin,

21:12

I don't appreciate Eric talking about me like

21:14

that. It's an old Dutch

21:16

folktale. The

21:19

BBC News headline reads Citibank wins case

21:21

after sacking banker over two

21:23

sandwich lunch claim. Whoa.

21:27

The employee expensed two sandwiches,

21:29

two coffees, and two entrees. Unrageous.

21:33

Why was the employee fired from an international

21:35

bank over the double chow? Well,

21:38

I would assume it's because when he ordered that much,

21:40

that's too much and you can't expect banks.

21:44

Incorrect Eric. Well, the bank didn't understand

21:47

that this was the Dutch tweak on

21:49

the Dutch treat, whereby you

21:51

can lunch alone and still

21:54

spread the bill with yourself. that

22:00

he was expensing a meal for another

22:02

person, which

22:03

is not allowed. According

22:05

to sections 3.11 and 3.15 of the City Expense Management Policy,

22:11

spousal travel and meals are

22:13

not reimbursable. Whoa! The

22:16

sacked employee, however, denied that he

22:18

shared the double order with someone else.

22:21

What was his explanation for ordering two

22:23

coffees and two sandwiches? He

22:25

needed another one, another Mila

22:27

Kraffman, so no one would know that he's cripplingly

22:29

lonely. And he could just keep saying,

22:32

like, oh no, she's coming! She

22:35

just was in the bathroom, I guess. Now

22:38

it's extra sad that he got fired. Erica?

22:43

Well, he was likely high and had the munchies,

22:45

you know, and then... That's

22:46

what I'm telling you! Of course.

22:49

And,

22:49

you know, one sandwich,

22:51

two sandwich, well, I have one sandwich, you can have

22:53

two, or you can have another cup of coffee. Yeah, you know, he could have gone

22:55

on. Probably a lot of things he didn't charge,

22:58

like the pound of butter that he put away too and

23:00

things like that. He

23:02

told the bank the coffees were very small

23:04

and that he ordered the second sandwich to eat

23:07

later. However, it was the two entrees

23:09

that really caught the attention of Citibank's

23:12

Security and Investigations Unit. Can

23:15

you guess which two entrees the man claimed

23:17

to have eaten in one sitting that raised

23:20

the red flag for the Citibank detectives?

23:23

Was it the lobster thermador

23:25

and the steak tartare? Did

23:28

he just get like two foods that if you ate,

23:31

they would, in your stomach, would combust? Like,

23:33

did he get Coke and Pop Rocks? The

23:36

Citibank detectives were tipped off because

23:38

he ordered a pasta pesto

23:41

and also a pasta

23:43

bolognese. Hey, that's

23:46

too much carbs for one man. I

23:49

think it all proves my theory that

23:51

he was high as a kite and

23:53

was willing

23:53

to eat anything and everything.

23:55

Yeah. All right. After

23:57

hearing this, we'll call it everything.

24:01

What do you think, Paddle? Do you believe

24:04

these two meals were all for him

24:06

or was someone else there? Oh,

24:08

someone else was there for sure. For

24:10

sure. I don't think that would hold up in a court

24:12

of law. I think it was his dealer, who he

24:15

invited. And he was like, meet me at

24:17

this restaurant. I get to pay

24:19

my city bank, bro! I

24:22

love

24:22

the idea that you would take your dealer

24:24

out for a nice meal. It's a new

24:26

world, Alice. Yeah, I remember

24:28

the

24:28

days where you'd be like, okay, please get out of my

24:30

house now. The idea of being kind

24:33

to your

24:33

dealer? Wow, what a beautiful world

24:35

we live in. Eric, where do you fall? Well,

24:37

again, my theory was

24:39

he was alone and as high

24:41

as you can possibly get. The

24:43

man eventually did admit that

24:45

someone else was indeed with him. But... The

24:48

judge's ruling was that the case is not about money

24:51

but more about the conduct of the claimant. The

24:53

judge says the man should have answered truthfully when

24:56

asked about the receipt. There

24:58

is an ironic twist that this man ended

25:00

up being fired for lying about his expenses,

25:03

considering the position he used to

25:05

hold at the bank. For

25:07

a final point in this round, what do you think his

25:10

ironic job was at Citibank? He

25:12

was the sandwich coffee counter

25:15

at Citibank, making sure that

25:17

everyone only had one serving of

25:19

a sandwich and coffee. Good

25:22

guess, Alice. Was

25:23

he president of Spaghetti?

25:25

In fact, the man

25:27

was a financial crime analyst.

25:55

Panelists, time to play around I call No Fair.

25:59

This is where we take a look at the show. some of the headlines that had

26:01

Canadians crying, hey, no

26:03

fair. We start in Toronto,

26:06

where a downtown restaurant has instituted a new

26:08

policy barring a certain clientele.

26:11

Who is forbidden from dining at

26:13

this mission star restaurant? Eric

26:15

Peterson. I

26:18

actually know it's children. The

26:21

headline from CBB News reads, Toronto restaurant

26:23

bans kids under 10. Good.

26:26

Look, it didn't make the headlines, but Eric is

26:29

also banned. Well,

26:31

I thought they were banning people that didn't know what

26:33

a claret was. What is a claret?

26:36

It's a red bardot. By God, you'll

26:38

never get into my restaurant.

26:41

That's because the only wines I know are red

26:43

and gone. The

26:46

restaurant is called Adrak, and it's Yorkville

26:48

location now has a strict no kids under 10

26:50

policy. They said the restaurant is

26:53

suited for social dining, business, and

26:55

date nights.

26:56

Not all of their customers were pleased

26:59

by the rule. Some posted negative reviews,

27:01

calling the policy blatant discrimination.

27:05

The Toronto Star asked that same question.

27:07

Is this even legal? Well,

27:09

panel, is it?

27:11

Well, as a business, I don't know. As

27:13

a business,

27:14

you have the right to refuse a customer.

27:16

Any kind of clientele? Or did the review say,

27:18

like, this restaurant is dumb and

27:21

poopy. I don't ever want it. And

27:23

you're like, I know who wrote this review. Technically,

27:27

it is legal. According to one lawyer, the Ontario

27:30

Human Rights Code offers protection from

27:32

discrimination for service, but

27:34

only for those 18 and over. Oh.

27:38

What do you think they serve at Adrak,

27:41

Yorkville? Oh, they serve chicken

27:43

nuggets

27:43

and french fries

27:46

and cheeky fingies and.

27:48

It's the

27:50

meanest fall as we ever. They

27:53

actually serve fine Indian cuisine and fancy

27:55

cocktails. Oh. Two things

27:58

kids notoriously love. I

28:00

want a Manhattan and some fucking chicken.

28:05

Where's the Alice Gobi, Father? I

28:08

kind of get like not like it's because

28:10

I went to a very very fancy restaurant when

28:13

I was first seeing my boyfriend

28:15

and it was the night that

28:17

he was trying to tell me that he loved me but

28:19

every time he'd be like he'd be like so and he'd

28:22

be like sweating and nervous and every time this kid

28:24

just came ripping by screaming

28:26

and he's like, no, no, no, no, but

28:28

to be fair your boyfriend took you to Chuck E. Cheese. Yeah,

28:31

yeah, because he

28:33

knows me. Yeah, of course

28:35

parents of young kids hungry for paneer

28:37

weren't the only ones crying no fair this

28:39

week. The Quebec government announced

28:42

that something else young people want is going to be harder

28:44

to get as of next September. For

28:46

a point, what is the Quebec government

28:49

making harder to get? Vaping?

28:53

Or is it harder to get them likes and subscribes?

28:57

No, no more like that. Having a crazy good

28:59

time coming of age in Montreal. I

29:02

think you know. I think I know. If

29:04

you're from out of the province and you're

29:07

going to university,

29:08

you're going to pay twice

29:09

the

29:11

tuition. The headline from CBC

29:13

News reads, University tuition to double

29:15

for out of province students in Quebec

29:17

starting next year. Double?

29:20

That would mean a year that costs nine thousand

29:22

dollars currently will now be seventeen

29:24

thousand dollars next September.

29:27

International students will pay a minimum of twenty

29:29

thousand dollars. Some

29:31

out of province students will be exempt from

29:33

the tuition hike. Who will still be able to afford

29:36

name brand craft dinner next semester

29:38

in Quebec?

29:38

Anybody who knows all of the lyrics

29:41

to Say Lala Wien. That

29:44

would be wonderful, but no, it is students

29:47

who are already attending.

29:49

Their tuition will not go up. So if you're in your

29:51

first year, you won't have to pay double for your second

29:53

year. Well, I would hope so. What is this, Netflix?

29:57

Excuse me.

29:58

Also, students who are part of an industry. international

30:00

agreement from countries like France or

30:02

Belgium. All right, the French-speaking

30:05

ones are off. Why

30:09

does the Quebec government say the price hike

30:11

is necessary? To protect

30:14

the French culture and language. Yes, you

30:16

are correct. To protect the French

30:18

language, which is necessary. The target

30:20

of this is mostly English language universities.

30:23

The tuition hike is expected to bring in about $110 million. And

30:26

a portion will go to preserve, protect,

30:28

and enhance Quebec's French

30:31

language universities.

30:32

I

30:35

heard

30:35

that all of you. How

30:37

do you enhance the French language?

30:41

More accent-e-gues? It's

30:45

accent-e-gues for everyone. You

30:49

get a accent-e-gue, and you get an accent-e-gue,

30:52

and you get an accent-e-gue. A

30:57

city news Montreal headline reads,

31:00

defending tuition increase, Premier Legault says

31:03

survival of French language is at risk.

31:06

Do

31:06

they know about France?

31:07

Well, interestingly,

31:09

I would

31:11

have assumed that the

31:13

chances of increasing the use

31:15

of French language is

31:18

having people come from other places that don't speak

31:21

French might be to the point.

31:22

I mean, it's easy to say. We

31:25

in

31:25

English Canada don't feel threatened in that

31:27

way. So I find,

31:30

even though I'm somewhat dismayed

31:32

at their policies, I have to admit

31:35

that I'm not in the same, I don't

31:38

live the same existence that they do and feel

31:42

that my language and my culture is

31:44

under attack. I'm looking for real

31:46

answers here. Can you name the three

31:49

English language universities in

31:51

Quebec? Miguel, Bishops,

31:55

and Concordia.

31:59

Chris Siddiqui for the point.

32:03

Eagle-eyed Chris Siddiqui who lip-read the

32:05

men in the audience.

32:12

Somehow we've reached the end of another

32:14

exciting Because News. Our

32:16

champion this week is

32:18

Eric Peterson. My

32:24

congratulations Eric, you have

32:26

the honor of reading our credits. I

32:29

am Gavin Crawford offering my congratulations

32:32

to the Walt Disney Company on its 100th anniversary,

32:36

mostly because I assume they somehow

32:38

own this show. You

32:40

can never be sure. We'll see you next time. Why?

32:43

Because News! Give

32:45

it up for Alice Moran,

32:48

baby!

32:57

This

32:59

is Eric Peterson, winner

33:02

of Because News. Congratulations

33:04

to my runners-up, Alice Moran

33:07

and Chris Siddiqui, who I haven't seen for months.

33:11

Because News is written and produced by

33:13

Elizabeth Bowie, David

33:15

Carroll, Gavin Crawford, Phil

33:18

Leung and Jess Klimowski. This

33:21

week we had help from Jan Caruana and

33:23

John Blair. Rounding out

33:25

the team, Aaron Conway, Bronwyn

33:28

Page, Errol Gonsalves

33:31

and our recording engineer, wonderful

33:34

Paul Hull.

33:53

For more CBC Podcasts, go

33:55

to cbc.ca slash

33:57

podcasts.