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Dr. Alex Golden: You're listening to the becoming zesty

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podcast. We are Megan and Dr. Alex and we're so happy that

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you're here. Megan Blacksmith: We are passionate about accelerated

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transformation, yours, ours and the collective, personal

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Dr. Alex Golden: and professional for coaches, practitioners and leaders of all kinds

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Megan Blacksmith: between the two of us. We seem to have done

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things the painful way. So let our pitfalls become your

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stepping stones. We are not afraid to share our raw and

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vulnerable truths in order to help you transform your thinking

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your body, your heart and your soul.

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Dr. Alex Golden: Combining over 15 years of functional medicine,

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with brain based habit change, to lead you to create the life

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of your dreams, supporting yourself through all four

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bodies, physical, mental, emotional and energetic every

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step of the way. We Megan Blacksmith: are transformation accelerators,

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wholeness, cultivators, empowerment experts, speakers,

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authors, mentors and changemakers. For a more loving

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world. By combining Dr. Alex's MD

1:09

Dr. Alex Golden: experiences with Magens mindset magic, we've

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helped hundreds of 1000s of people transform their lives,

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and we can help you too. If you're ready to accelerate your

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transformation and have so much fun doing it, then stick around.

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We've got you covered. Quick reminder, this information is

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not meant to diagnose, manage or treat disease. Always consult

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with your doctor, not this doctor before making changes.

1:36

Now let's get into today's episode. Hello, everybody.

1:42

Welcome to the becoming Xsc podcast. This is Dr. Alex here

1:45

with you welcome, welcome, welcome. Hopefully you're having

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a great day or night, no matter where you are in the world.

1:52

We're so glad that you're here. Today we're going to be talking

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about fear. We're going to be talking about kids. And of

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course big kids, which is adults. I also wanted to invite

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you to our upcoming training three crucial coaching skills

2:10

you should have learned in training, aka learning to trust

2:13

yourself as a powerful practitioner. So whatever it is

2:17

that you do in the world that makes an impact where you are

2:21

working to create a ripple effect of positivity and love

2:25

here on the planet. We are here to help facilitate change,

2:30

right? How do leaders help themselves change faster, and to

2:36

the identity they most want to be and what they feel like they

2:39

are here for their purpose. And then to take that into into the

2:44

world and to expand it and to grow it and to multiply it into

2:48

a ripple effect that really makes a difference for all of

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us. So check that out. The link is going to be in the show

2:55

notes. It is on Tuesday, March 19 at 4pm. Pacific time and 7pm.

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Eastern time. That's six for us in Texas. All right. So what are

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we talking about today? One of the things that I was talking

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about recently with a good friend of mine was the interplay

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between parenting and self development. And one of the

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things that ended up coming up from that conversation was

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really, really interesting. And we were noting how often we as

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parents and people with kids, or even like people who lead others

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or, or authority figures in some capacity, right? How often we

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want people to do, like be held to a certain standard, and then

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we don't want to do the thing. Right. And one of the ways that

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it looks like and so often for little humans and fear is when

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kids are like, Oh, I'm struggling to do something I'm

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struggling to learn a new skill I am in the fear of this is new

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and unfamiliar to me and I'm feeling my own insecurities

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where kids will be like, I can't do this, or I don't know if I

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can do this or this is too hard. Right? And so often the reflex

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response of parents and of adults is Oh of course you can

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write like or don't say that or oh you should believe in

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yourself and and all these things in a story like delivered

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as a lecture and then to zoom out there's so many times where

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like we just working with humans, you know, will will be

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on calls and we're talking about people will be interested and

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taking their life and up leveling and starting a new

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career and making an impact in the world. And so often I'll be

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like, yeah, no, I do. I do mean that I want to do those things,

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but I'm not gonna take the next step like I can do it. Like, I'm

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not gonna Now's not the time, I don't have the time, I don't

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have the money, I don't have the power. I don't have the, you

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know, agreement of my partner, I don't have the energy, I don't

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have my health in line, I don't have the certifications or

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training and I can afford getting them. It ends up

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essentially being the exact same thing. Right. And, and how often

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it is that, you know, we will see it and another but then sort

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of believe our own reasons for the fear, right. And it's really

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even though that can be like, Whoa, that stinks. You know,

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like, it's not, it's not something that when I thought

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about I was like, that is true. There, we want to believe in

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everybody else. Right? You really can I know you can really

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do it. But when it comes to us so often, we don't necessarily

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want a role model that right, like really get you can do it.

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Pause. And, and not me. So there's a yes, there's a self awareness,

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Zinger kind of in there, depending on what our past is

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and what our history is. And maybe not for you. Why not?

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That's cool, too. But the flip side of that is when when we can

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actually take that self awareness and then begin to

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apply it. It looks like a much more collaborative, honest,

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authentic process. Because then, you know, instead of kids being

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like, this is hard, I can't do it, and then being met with, you

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know, let's, let's do the corollaries or like I, in some

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ways, even though we all mean, well, when we do it, it's sort

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of a denial of the actual feelings that are being felt

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underneath, like, the kids are often like, I mean, they'll

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they'll try it, they'll do it or whatever, sometimes not. But

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they're, they're not necessarily looking to get out of it as much

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as the acknowledgement of this is what it is. And so when we

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hit them hard with Oh, no, don't say that, you can totally do it,

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it can sometimes feel like a little bit of a shutdown of the

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feelings or and an invalidation of the fear. And of course, in

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some ways we are trying to do that we're like, the fear is not

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the important part. It's the doing it and drying it. And

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maybe you'll have fun, right? Or whatever. But this is where we

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can all work together in service. So the same way, it's

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like your fears of whatever next step that you're scared to take

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are valid, and you still want to get yourself over that hump and

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actually do the thing in the world. Right? Part of that

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process can start can be started by having honest conversations

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with people around us like, Hey, I feel me Oman feels fear, too.

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This is what it looks like, in my big world, you know, the your

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little world is here. And here's my corollary, here are things

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that I do too. And when we put our parenting on our coaching

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hat on, of course, we, of course, people always started

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being like creative, and they're like, Oh, I do this. And this is

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a good idea and whatever, right? But then as we're talking, we

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can be like, I'm actually talking to me, like, this is my

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parenting. This is my coaching, this is how I can lead myself

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past my own fears and limitations. Because, you know,

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I'm talking to people who are at the heart of it more committed

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to helping the world than the fears, right? Like, at the end

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of the day, we all got to make a decision on which side we're on.

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And so in that way, it's when we have that those conversations

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when we allow fear to exist, and then resource it and to say,

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what do I need to acknowledge that and still keep moving

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forward? What does support look like? What is reassurance look

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like? What is safety look like? What does protection look like?

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Who is my crew? Who are my people that I debrief with or

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who How do I handle my emotional processing around this? Right?

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All of these, all of those better questions come out of

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conversations that are had that are rooted and being a little

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more authentic about what's actually going on, and how we're

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all often having a similar experience, whether we're a kid

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or an adult. So much of life is the same stuff, just different

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levels right now And so, one one way to flip it around, is to

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share and apply together. Right? If you if you have kids or a few

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around kids or you lead people, this can be a collaborative

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process of how can I assist you? How can I show you my inner

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world? While role modeling what I'm doing and, and the resources

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that I have that you may not right as adults, we can share

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the things that we already know, you might have already listened

10:35

to those podcasts and learn parasympathetic tools. Right? So

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right away, we can say, oh, right, am I personally applying

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those daily? Am I encouraging my central nervous system to be in

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that rest and digest, heal and learn? Recover? Be creative,

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passionate, thriving, right? Am I applying those things? When I

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feel the fear and the limitations on myself as I grow

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and expand, which of course, you're going to bump into the

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outer boundaries of where you feel comfortable and where your

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expansion currently is. And the game is to expand anyways, past

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that, right? So beginning to apply those tools so often, then

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we remember that they're watching us. And so as we begin

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to demonstrate resourcing our own fear of and limitation, that

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feelings of limitations, and beginning to apply things like

11:39

parasympathetic, or even, here's how I'm going to narrate my

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mental Gremlins, right? We have episodes about that here on

11:45

becoming zesty. How do I talk back to the habitual negative

11:50

thoughts I may have picked up over life, and how do I want to

11:53

interact with them? How do I in my moments of power plan for

11:58

those times and create safety nets for myself? Ooh, when I

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hear myself think that I know, I have a note on my phone. That

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reminds me, Oh, right. This is what we think of that thought.

12:10

This is what has, this is what changed, right. And this was

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what we decided, when we were feeling good when we were

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feeling powerful when we were in our decision making capacities.

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And as as that begins to stack, right, like those conversations

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advance, because when you're doing this stuff, then people

12:31

talk about it. And when we all talk about it, then feedback

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happens. And when you get feedback on the things you're

12:37

applying, then you get better at applying them. And you

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diversify. So this conversation can go from crap, I've been

12:46

doing that and I feel bad about it, too. Oh, my gosh, day to

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day, I get to live a life where there's feedback. And I get to

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advance all of us along this path. And I feel really proud of

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that. That's a huge shift in perspective that we can have

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here, right? But think about that from every other

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perspective. But like every other conversation, every other

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chance of role modeling every other chance to show what

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abundance look like what love looks like what creativity looks

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like, what passion looks like, what safety looks like, is as

13:22

powerful stuff. So I encourage you to have those conversations.

13:28

First with yourself. Sometimes, we just need to take a beat to

13:32

admit something to ourselves, and sit with that. And tiptoe

13:37

into bringing more of that authenticity, more of that

13:43

honesty, to our interactions in the world. And using the mirror

13:48

that the world is to begin to reflect back to us. Where can we

13:52

go faster in this change thing? Where can we make a bigger,

13:55

bigger ripple effect for ourselves? And of course, then

13:58

we know it's for others too. All of those questions are answered

14:02

here. I'm sending you lots of love. Thank you for joining us

14:05

on The becoming zesty podcast. We'd love to see you next

14:08

Tuesday. sending you lots of love. Bye.

14:11

Megan Blacksmith: Thanks for coming to hang out with us on the podcast. It is our goal to lead others through accelerated

14:17

transformation that takes all parts of ourselves to account

14:22

and we need your help. We need your help to get the word out at

14:26

almost 2 million downloads and quickly heading to three. We

14:30

know that as this podcast grows, we're going to be able to reach

14:33

more and more people and help them learn how all four bodies

14:37

physical, mental, emotional and energetic work so they feel

14:40

empowered to be do and have whatever they want in life.

14:46

Dr. Alex Golden: If you find this podcast helpful, please

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take a moment to text five friends you think might benefit

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and leave us a review. It means so much to share this work that

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has transformed our lives with others. We appreciate You're

15:00

helped so much and can't wait to see you next time