Show Notes:

We are continuing to re-share a "Blast from the Past" series that I did back in Season 1 of Behind the Line. It was one of my favourite series and I think really important content for those who may have missed it the first time. The series takes a look at Brené Brown's work in her book, Dare to Lead, and discusses applications to helping professions where it is absolutely IMPERATIVE that we improve leadership and systems, because they are hella broken. I hope you'll share this series with your sphere of influence and that together we can make it different...

As we continue our series on daring leadership, following the work of Brené Brown and her book Dare to Lead, today we are talking about living into our values. This is about being able to identify what is important to us and ways to engage in our lives that align with these values. 

Too often we fail to reflect on our values and they become background to our daily choices. We go into survival mode, getting through the days and the challenges but lacking intention. Living into our values asks us to get clear on what really matters to us, the core aspects of what we believe matters most. It then means stepping out of survival mode and developing clear intentionality in behaving in ways that reflect these values, even (and especially) when it is unpopular or uncomfortable. To do this Brené outlines three steps:

Step One: We can’t live into values that we can’t name.

You can access a list of values developed by Brené and her team, here(click on the one called List of Values). Use this tool to narrow down one or two values that feel defining of you. Brené instructs that you can ask yourself these three questions to help guide the process (taken from Dare to Lead, 2018): 

1.      Does this define me?

2.      Is this who I am at my best?

3.      Is this a filter that I use to make hard decisions?

Step two: taking values from BS to behaviour.

This involves aligning your actions to the values you’ve identified – it’s where rubber meets road. Brené suggests three questions to help clarify these behaviours (taken from Dare to Lead, 2018):

1.      What are three behaviours that support your value?

2.      What are three slippery behaviours that are outside your value?

3.      What’s an example of a time when you were fully living into this value?

Step three: empathy and self compassion, the two most important seats in the arena.

We need to use empathy to be curious listeners through the process of living into our values and allowing others to live into theirs. We need to utilize empathy to bridge between teams who have varying values as well as varying experiences of being in the arena that shape how they show up. We need self-compassion to manage when we fudge things up, to extend ourselves some grace and an assumption of positive intent. 

Episode Challenge:

1.      Use the List of Values curated by Brené and her team and narrow this down to one or two that feel defining for you. Use the questions above to help the process. If you are in a position of leadership, consider asking those in your team to do the same exercise and discuss the ways your values show up in your work. 

2.      Work through the “operationalizing” process to identify behaviours that allow you to walk your talk. 

3.      Consider your stance on operating from an assumption of positive intent. Does this feel easy/obvious to you that people are doing the best they can with what they have, or does it feel improbable/unlikely/rub you the wrong way? If you have someone in your life (work or otherwise) who you are struggling with, what would change about your approach to them/the situation if you were to know with 100% certainty that they are doing the very best they can with what they have right now? Would the situation with them feel different if you were able to know this was true?

If assuming positive intent is difficult for you, and if you struggle with other pieces like perfectionism, lack of self-compassion, etc., look below for additional resources that you may find helpful. I highly recommend all of Brené Brown’s work, although I think my favourite (aside from Dare to Lead) is Rising Strong…possibly because it was the first book of hers that I read and after that I was hooked!

Additional Resources:

If you haven’t yet, check out the free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide to help you self-assess your experiences and exposure to burnout. Use this tool as information as you get honest with yourself about the impacts you have experienced – and start considering telling the story of your resilience as someone who has invested in their own wellness by looking into our Beating the Breaking Point Training Program designed for First Responders and Front Line Workers. You can grab the free indicators checklist here, and learn more about the training program here.

As discussed in todays’ episode, check out Brené Brown’s book Dare to Lead. You may also enjoy some of her other books, including Rising Strong; Braving the Wilderness; and Daring Greatly. These are some of my favourite books for personal development and wellness. She has a couple of other books that are also excellent, but if you’re new to her work, these are the ones I would highly suggest starting with. In addition to her books, she also has two podcasts, Dare to Lead and Unlocking Us, as well as a ton of free resources and guides available on her website.

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