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0:33

you guys my husband my

0:35

husband sounds weird to say but my husband

0:38

is in hell this week before we

0:40

get started i rarely

0:42

tell you guys when my stand up shows are and i want

0:44

my little devils to be there so

0:46

actually page and i have a geek squad

0:49

show in new york september

0:51

tenth at town hall we just added

0:53

another show so if you're if

0:55

you want to get lit i'm and

0:57

drunk and not remember what happened that

0:59

night and giggle with us the entire time

1:02

get tickets hannah berner dot com

1:05

i'm also going to be in providence

1:07

rhode island september twenty first for

1:09

stand up levittown long island

1:12

somewhere thirtieth and october first

1:14

either or then we're going in the midwest

1:17

milwaukee madison go

1:19

be a jersey and then rosemont

1:21

illinois have like four shows and

1:23

minneapolis on rosemont

1:26

is like near chicago so if you're in chicago

1:28

come through to that and yeah hanna burner dot com let's get this

1:33

the on the road

1:47

are you a very special

1:49

episode of burning in hell under hot

1:51

takes with hannah and as i used to do

1:53

this alone with my mom on

1:56

because i like to be otherwise person when giving

1:58

advice and today we have

2:00

no one other then they

2:02

had some the smart the wise

2:05

the charming the funny the

2:07

tall the issue

2:10

hi

2:11

did you fall asleep know i was listening

2:15

i'm and co two to have you here

2:18

and i basically wanted us to answer

2:20

questions and people submitted

2:23

a lot of amazing questions some

2:25

about their own lives some about our lives

2:28

but i realized i

2:30

just started a whole man

2:32

on the street segment on tic tac that's been

2:35

getting a lot of

2:37

when you stop to sell same blowing up

2:39

right that's

2:41

usually surface up just

2:43

people are really into it so i was like

2:45

if i'm going to ask questions the does today

2:47

we gotta open up with some

2:49

then on she questions to you oh really

2:52

yeah i'm in charge okay okay

2:54

does what's your skincare routine

2:57

i i moisturize but

2:59

i'm not i'm not very selective with my moisturizer

3:02

my i i didn't we talk about this

3:04

before

3:05

the lot of people ask me about your skin

3:07

carotenes you are you do care about

3:09

it being uncensored

3:10

the moisturizer oh yeah i don't like

3:12

it don't like a scented moisturizer

3:14

that you care about texture way

3:16

oh no i do care about texture away

3:19

i

3:20

i don't care about like you

3:22

know the price or fancy like in other words

3:25

i can i can use like

3:27

of vaseline aloe

3:30

or vaseline cocoa butter sheep

3:32

thing i can we put use

3:34

a user and thing you know actually

3:37

coincidentally enough the vaseline was are sent

3:39

it wonder not like fragrant

3:43

yeah it's not like vanilla be able

3:45

that afraid they're like the natural sent i

3:47

go i feel like of the of the cucumber

3:49

the aloe and que com

3:50

yeah it's not like first aid kits and new

3:52

year

3:52

but i don't i

3:55

don't use a separate facial moisturizer facial

3:57

just put

3:58

the moisturizer that

3:59

the my body i put my face

4:01

why do you have to say i feel like most of the

4:04

makeup and skyn her industry the

4:07

rep has bethenny

4:09

frankel says on her tic tok she's

4:11

always you see $2

4:13

cvs eyeshadow it's perfect

4:16

after

4:17

work and i i going

4:20

hell of a separate us is is

4:22

the earth i when i was

4:24

do dance with the stars and i am i am i

4:26

the makeup artist i said you know i just put

4:29

like

4:30

the moisturizer put my body my face

4:32

the bad and she was like if you if your skin doesn't

4:34

have a negative reaction as help me find true

4:37

true time web a big fan of the year

4:39

you sir and

4:42

oatmeal user oatmeal and meals

4:44

what they say a fighter terrify

4:46

me and i like i'm simple

4:49

was rather love

4:54

i have to moisturize though i know

4:56

think you'd have a pool

4:58

i have to moisturize embassy

5:00

in the winter i get terrible dry skin in the winter when

5:02

the eating zone wash forget

5:04

, if i don't moisturizer moisturizer yeah when

5:06

i went to las vegas for numerous times

5:08

i've gone to las vegas

5:10

have them which are like five times

5:11

i do believe it what moisturizer

5:14

with they like i know that have a house in at about i know

5:16

you i should have opened with this girl you

5:18

kidding me at winners in vegas

5:20

or a very what i couldn't fortunate enough

5:22

as it sleeps clone to vegas once it

5:24

was so bright i couldn't open my eyes

5:27

but it's the dryness of the air i mean my lips

5:29

were champ

5:30

the

5:31

but like i feel like have a burn my

5:34

lips are so chaplin public people with cement

5:37

mixer tv reviews tv reviews this

5:39

i have my was which up a baby uk

5:41

you kiss me before my lips always said no

5:44

it's look at the they're

5:47

just so this so fluffy they

5:50

have korea

5:50

the man may have you of priests

5:52

lips

5:54

the new any that you need the the

5:57

oral book know

5:59

it

5:59

it would be jackson's he it loot you lose all

6:02

the creases in our lives but then you just look like

6:04

yeah we read it when i don't

6:06

, look at it now i know it looks it looks good

6:09

on certain people leave a say i

6:11

do moisturize but you know what i'm not

6:14

like i'm not like use like a facial scrub

6:16

anything like that i'm

6:18

not even a big face washer but i washed

6:20

or wash but i like i don't like

6:23

exfoliate during her was

6:25

but you and your go with sunscreen

6:27

these days

6:29

no that was not all

6:31

my life i have

6:33

to say but you don't you say i'm good with sunscreen

6:35

that's sunscreen that's because i spent a lot of time in the

6:37

sun i mean i have what

6:40

would only be considered

6:42

the nineteen seventies tan right now trail

6:44

before we knew about skin cancer i have too

6:46

much sun on my face yeah so

6:49

i were some block but in actual fact i to have

6:51

too much sun exposure i do i should be

6:53

wearing a large had a should be walking

6:55

around an umbrella i really like to see the hero

6:57

league like farmers had something

6:59

about is hot to me i need yeah

7:01

i should honestly live in in china

7:04

to to the to places that made me

7:06

sun paranoid was living

7:08

in china and also in australia history

7:11

is a very passionate about the son of a high skin cancer

7:13

rates in the world to steer where you

7:15

know the europeans living in a place that wasn't really made

7:17

for your pin skins and the

7:19

i know you're complaining about your ten right now

7:21

but it is really hard for me to be with a man

7:24

whose ten is nicer than me and that's my

7:26

own battles i'm working on

7:28

you know that in australia

7:30

the most of the school that primary schools

7:33

your children are not allowed outside

7:35

into the play area unless they have a hat

7:38

you growing up your head was too big to wear

7:40

hats that would

7:41

hard for you baby me grown up with

7:43

to repay to alan i'm from the

7:45

baby oh baby oil doesn't make

7:47

you like burn yes that's

7:50

what we wanted we wanted to get docs

7:52

did your mom would take those like mirror things

7:55

my mother wanted us to get ten

7:57

and she put son and my hair my mother was mother was

7:59

as they

7:59

oh yeah because they were child

8:02

models pays the sorbonne watch out okay

8:05

can i ask another question

8:06

lieutenant money there's wash my face if i

8:08

felt sleeping

8:09

you

8:12

still modeling and i started getting this and

8:14

if

8:15

he would come in at like midnight because you know the i

8:17

would have been asleep since nine o'clock vs should

8:20

come into the like i foresee been the couch than she

8:22

tommy go to bed we

8:24

walk up to bed and then commissioner like

8:26

you estimate the number know

8:28

the next thing i wake up again and they be a washcloth

8:31

on my face and my mother would be washing my face

8:33

did you gonna get a little twice

8:35

wow

8:36

and i recall it right the

8:39

pictures of deformed babies on the box

8:41

there was a lot of conspiracy theories

8:43

the negative no no no they weren't conspiracy theories

8:46

the like babies have like three i want

8:48

all basically if if you are pregnant

8:50

you could absolutely not take accutane

8:53

and they they gave you we are warnings

8:55

on the box but then after was there

8:57

was also allegedly

9:00

instances

9:02

the

9:03

suicide rates rising in

9:05

people i took acting about it cause depression

9:08

wow and in the seventies they didn't even know

9:10

the pressure went well above i didn't have

9:13

pimples in the seventies the i was her

9:15

only ally for half of them okay

9:17

did people know a depression wasn't eighties

9:20

yeah a prozac was already around

9:22

the eighties

9:24

were your parents open to talk them into

9:26

how do we didn't have a to freshen

9:29

the person was from people that lived in manhattan

9:32

we , in queens who too busy making the city

9:34

turned turned

9:37

kept the city tourney for the people on prozac and city

9:40

of babes at first person to gate minute

9:42

they've you you you shouldn't have a me about moisture

9:44

the whole

9:46

episode about okay

9:48

do you think about when you don't want to confess

9:51

next

9:53

question we want to talk about us between

9:55

mean you that difference it's a joke when you

9:57

as the guys industry summer tell me what i'm thinking

9:59

about again and is is

10:02

the only interview well let's that interviewees

10:04

you know my clothes a known as the with the

10:06

nuns from said kevin

10:11

get out and as you do believe norse gods but

10:13

i really don't want you to go on whole ran about how you hit

10:16

horoscopes

10:16

you know what evolve as cause

10:18

i know what evolve as soon as it's

10:21

the outer part of the vagina the

10:23

lips well you know

10:25

graham's of rowdy my research your columns

10:27

of love lives we me

10:29

my boys who i am level

10:32

ups i

10:34

love i listen who doesn't listen the volvos

10:36

what the reality is that guy say like

10:38

susan nice vagina the realities what they really mean

10:41

she has a nice vulva kinda vulva

10:43

is like

10:44

the flower

10:44

the added the vulva is the

10:47

bit that we're looking at the vulva is that

10:50

the rest of the

10:51

ryanair level you would also

10:53

but what is it but no to come but then you go

10:56

in there plus i'm a guy bring a vagina

10:58

of the isn't that good but you have over grateful for

11:00

that you have

11:01

do you have a preference for vulva

11:04

of have a preference what do you think about

11:06

women com access to it as a

11:09

sub anything but women going under the knife

11:11

and cutting devils as devils as i

11:14

don't know if that's exactly what happens but they get

11:16

that lay be a place is very popular

11:19

surgery in and out

11:21

some of us see that consider themselves to

11:23

to prominent isn't a

11:25

libya isn't it

11:27

the lady in size of louder majora

11:29

and and or missouri so the

11:32

their enemies your sometimes i think is

11:34

leave you alone but but also

11:36

lot of when we get it after they finish haven't children

11:38

okay yeah listen i think if you're

11:41

particularly in a situation where it's

11:43

been older because having kids because

11:45

is quite traumatic yeah i

11:48

am i had no issue with

11:50

a woman wanted to get a fix

11:52

i mean the way you describe it is quite a serious

11:55

surgery but you know that a lot of is just leave it

11:57

does actually like only because

11:59

i play golf the user am i now use

12:01

my knowledge offered a plastic surgeon

12:03

cursing or years his sniff them

12:05

yeah but also they have is lisa to take the keep

12:07

the put a thing uptown i like that use a laser

12:09

tighten up oh

12:11

then like actually be lives is probably pretty

12:13

easy to cut but it affects sensitivity

12:15

i personally love my unevenly we're

12:18

i didn't even know your head and unevenly just

12:20

, to call it that way you

12:22

know i think i think

12:24

ah if it becomes a thing for thing think

12:26

it's unfortunate if effort has become like

12:29

an obsession yeah for you because

12:31

i don't i don't actually think any of them are

12:33

unsightly i think

12:35

a lot of it is like i guess porn which

12:37

has it's trends and it's funny because

12:39

you won't be and secure but your vagina

12:42

but then you you don't know what other

12:44

girls vagina is look like the than you can convince

12:46

yourself that you have additional for

12:48

it's some crazy different vagina

12:50

but

12:50

oh you girls

12:52

mundo can

12:53

then don't even know what's going on but honestly

12:55

i will i i don't care i don't care

12:57

but ice but i completely understand particularly

13:00

in the post children

13:02

scenario if you want to tidy

13:04

that up for your comfort as don't we find

13:07

we had a recent i'm

13:09

big controversy on the

13:11

agree squad about anal bleaching

13:14

and i thought it was bleaching your butt hole hairs

13:17

it's not people bleach skin

13:19

and we want to know from a man's perspective

13:21

have you ever been have

13:23

you thought this girl needs to bleed

13:25

no skin on her but

13:28

the my problem with the but i'm happy

13:31

in , words like if i've if i've been put

13:34

in a situation where have close

13:36

enough access to the but where i've even noticed

13:38

the color of the pots my i couldn't

13:40

be happier

13:41

all the blood is in their dick they can't think

13:43

you're have opinions what's your favorite

13:45

make up

13:46

a woman i don't have a favorite

13:48

make a block it was you know my favorite make a public

13:50

he likes no make up the i just i

13:53

don't have a

13:53

done anything to my face that you been like

13:56

that's pretty

14:00

the were born

14:01

answer but it's funny you realize we

14:04

pull we spend hours on tic tac looking

14:06

at different you know make up trends

14:08

and vibes and like none of it processes

14:12

i understand that and of course

14:15

you've you've you've had times where

14:17

you've made your face up and i thought that looks good

14:20

what i i i don't have a i'll

14:22

have a preference is it

14:24

you know the definition of gas lighting sir

14:27

i mean

14:29

the exact definition is

14:31

, kinda hard to say because it's based

14:33

on a movie but or a play originally

14:36

but

14:37

i mean i would suggest it's a situation

14:39

where

14:40

it

14:41

most often a man close to make

14:44

a woman seem crazy

14:48

for a situation where an actual fact

14:50

right

14:51

the

14:52

the they really make them the

14:55

out cause reality question me

14:57

out

14:57

that the hook obama

14:59

that you therapists right their mouth

15:02

you are just passing the flying colors

15:04

and of rowdy bed guess when

15:06

he's a very overuse term for sure a

15:09

in the sense that a lot of times what people are saying

15:11

is that they're lying assists like

15:13

what i've been alone lie yes really

15:15

going out of fashion

15:16

what can insert the burning questions

15:19

and have some hot take okay

15:21

wasn't can a q and i'm just asking because i want to know

15:23

the answer but someone asked her what

15:26

were your first impressions of each other

15:28

they were what what's a recent

15:31

version of me i feel if we venture

15:33

that many times though

15:35

i want to hear it again

15:36

it would hurt again yeah well

15:38

, i'd always wrong if

15:44

it's hard it's hard it's hard to mess with

15:46

the reality of knowing who of knowing are only

15:49

i've i've joking didn't have

15:51

a great first impression with a paper

15:53

was a great first person sweaty know

15:55

that that so that's or you

15:57

that's your perception of the

15:59

impression you are putting

15:59

which was not impression i was getting so

16:02

let's take your own negative the

16:05

appraisal of yourself out of equations and

16:07

owed me tell you my impression of

16:09

you the biggest lady that's

16:13

this is the anti guess light of trying to make you

16:15

not feel crazy

16:16

wow how we could

16:17

no way it is my i'm not gas

16:19

lighting you have i'm i'm i'm fluffing

16:22

you

16:22

yeah

16:23

oh come on you know my first impression your you

16:26

i thought you were great phone babe you know beautiful

16:29

we hit hit straightaway come on the first impression

16:31

was we had an ostrich where you know remember you

16:33

know that why you is due respect mine

16:35

mine of yours

16:37

grow has

16:38

you pick me up a new bmw not as like the

16:40

sketches together but that's just because i can't

16:42

drive so i think any guy who drives

16:45

has a shit together and , had a second

16:47

here bmw convertible it was not as impressive

16:49

as it looks sweet okay

16:53

who advice for jealousy

16:55

around partners close friends work

16:57

friends female friends

16:59

would you else is a great topic so stupid

17:02

i ate is is the question isn't not clear

17:04

he said i haven't securities from has toxic

17:07

partners and the sounds like with their current

17:09

partner she's questioning like all

17:11

of his close female friends coworkers

17:14

and just

17:15

yours is coming from her side

17:17

yeah i think so yeah

17:20

while we're can she said female close free

17:22

the friend right i mean you know

17:25

a

17:27

we're supposed to to shouldn't be any real issues

17:29

with the with female friends his prissy

17:31

existing ones

17:33

he could dated them

17:36

you know i'm it know i i just

17:38

think

17:39

you just have to be open about it

17:41

uber one a lesbian friends so that spin

17:44

for me

17:46

let's face it you have a lot more male friends

17:48

and i have female friends

17:50

then like me was missing

17:51

yeah you're a male dominated industry but

17:53

as know i i i , vote

17:55

we talked about this a lot in the shift so nice to do

17:57

chef news is old park

18:00

i mean josie though she's

18:02

a useless emotion

18:05

really is a but

18:07

i do think it's best avoided but

18:09

i don't think

18:10

that people need to

18:12

i don't think any to alter their friendships

18:15

based on the sexes of their friends so

18:18

, think it's in this situation critically would female

18:20

friends in a situation where a girlfriend

18:23

is feeling jealous because her boyfriend

18:25

as female friends i think that's

18:27

something that needs to be openly shared in

18:30

a non accusatory since since

18:32

you may not be going once

18:34

this fucker that well as well

18:37

as you be yeah but basically it's not like

18:40

like why the fuck are you hanging that we're mansa

18:42

it be like hey i just to let you

18:44

know that of have a lot of fucked up relationships

18:46

in the past and night yeah i don't

18:48

know why i do get jealous

18:51

of you know the your

18:53

friendships with girls

18:54

the saying it over communicate you're

18:56

feeling so it doesn't come out of nowhere through anger

18:59

and and it seems my logic

19:00

when you're like this is how i got here

19:02

or especially in that situation especially with existing

19:05

friendships because i feel like you can

19:08

like you can expect people to just completely changed

19:10

their lives because suddenly you're in a relationship

19:13

sure and also

19:15

would you you know you're crazy

19:16

the as as a woman you know when

19:18

another girl wants to suck your man says

19:20

sometimes you can be kind of right but it doesn't necessarily

19:22

mean that he's interests in her and

19:24

also further fucking more jealousy

19:27

is not always a bad thing where

19:29

if i'm not feeling a tiny

19:32

bit of jealous i actually

19:33

that worried i'm like oh shit i'm listen other

19:35

is this person anymore excelled idol

19:38

i don't think chelsea's again honestly i

19:40

just think chelsea's the something that has

19:42

to be navigated i don't think

19:44

it's it's positive or negative but negative

19:46

don't think you should consider jealousy to be

19:49

like a sign of

19:51

sign of of years

19:53

well i think it's nice to be to like

19:56

that you care a little but it becomes toxic

19:58

when you're assuming the

20:00

he like gonna

20:02

fuck you over that he's doing something bad

20:05

i once had a therapist tell me something

20:07

wise about cheating

20:09

and she was just like if a guy's gonna cheat on you

20:11

that's on him you have no control is

20:13

now

20:13

about years not about you not about you

20:16

which opens you can

20:17

relieve yourself of that you don't have to monitor

20:19

him and you don't have the you know over

20:22

analyze all his relationship

20:23

yeah but i still i'm a proponent

20:25

of a not everybody agrees with me

20:29

i think

20:30

you know sometimes you have to like

20:33

you don't have to like they

20:36

all the time are you know your

20:38

interactions with members of the opposite sex

20:40

because like chelsea

20:42

just happens you know and i know

20:45

people say oh should be honest of everything that's like

20:47

you're going to be dishonest but it's just like is

20:49

your happened to just end up like spending

20:52

a lot of time with somebody where it might be an issue it's

20:54

like

20:55

i'm a thing you should lie but you don't always have the

20:57

like talk about that person for example yes

20:59

be mindful

21:00

our our i think you should be mindful of

21:02

like overdoing it with

21:04

it in situations that may trigger

21:07

chelsea without the investing i like i don't me

21:09

nuts i don't mean why but

21:11

i do mean like

21:12

they don't cry

21:13

don't put your partner in situations where

21:15

it could cause them

21:16

the geology and my form your

21:19

own like if suddenly you're talking about

21:21

one person a lot then it's like well he

21:24

only natural that that every little

21:25

give one of his friends that he does moment

21:27

of his friends and he's like you

21:29

like she's so funny

21:30

who was said a country so

21:33

easy to talk to you

21:33

like okay buddy and

21:36

but it is interesting i am and a male dominated industry

21:38

and i try to put myself in your shoes were legacy you

21:40

are male model they just costly run

21:42

female models all the time it's

21:44

it is a situation

21:47

the bad news for you as your surrender by male comedians

21:49

but male comedians are surrounded

21:51

by female fans sorry saga

21:54

i mean honestly

21:56

is never get chosen the male comedians on

21:59

will get into later and this pod okay

22:03

my husband tunes me out every time

22:05

every time something remotely negative i'm

22:07

not a lot to say anything unless i'm ecstatic

22:10

help before i leave him acclimation mark

22:12

mike a commission

22:14

i'm so

22:16

i i need that repeated

22:18

basically said my husband tunes me out

22:20

every time i say something negative like

22:22

any time she complains or is worried

22:25

he wants her to be overly positive and

22:27

she goes i'm not as anything unless

22:29

i'm ecstatic help before

22:30

leave him while i ever met a clear

22:33

their promo communication there no

22:36

i mean he

22:38

has to be open to

22:40

conversations about something she's finding difficult

22:42

also what's great about relationship

22:45

is

22:46

that

22:47

when you marry someone you're marrying all

22:49

of them their highs they're loeser and between

22:51

they're boring as their excitement

22:53

their sadness and duchess no

22:55

one with the perfect life

22:57

and you're on that journey with them

22:58

what i mean it's part of communicating if you want expressed

23:01

dissatisfaction something i mean course

23:04

it's always difficult in these situations because the

23:06

have no idea of dynamics through

23:08

that are going on but taken

23:11

at face value it would seem that

23:14

he's trying to be

23:17

shut down a certain types

23:19

of communication or

23:20

for would maybe something about his past

23:22

like he's trying to avoid any

23:25

anxiousness or any

23:27

external negativity the

23:29

i'm in ohio so ago had a

23:31

gun couples therapy

23:33

yeah because a lotta times up

23:35

a people just don't get into it yeah you

23:38

know which is not good i'm

23:40

you know obviously we

23:42

have like it's always tough with these scenarios

23:44

where you just get something thrown out you have no idea the

23:46

real background but it's

23:49

pretty common and i would think even it

23:51

up he could say it's more common

23:54

the man

23:55

the know than the woman

23:57

the man

23:59

this doesn't

24:00

get into it a lot of the telling their emotional

24:03

spectrum yeah like their date

24:05

they have their happier to just shut it down

24:07

yeah i think deciding what stuff

24:09

you wanna express to say your mom

24:11

or your best friend or your own therapists verse

24:14

you wanna

24:15

that on a plate of you and your parents

24:17

together

24:18

what

24:20

that

24:21

getting without knowing the rest

24:23

completely acceptable

24:25

the want to

24:27

express your dissatisfaction at times

24:29

oh yeah for sure i mean that doesn't

24:31

mean that the other person won't have a rebuttal

24:33

or said the other person my just

24:37

not think it's valid but it but you have you have

24:39

to express it

24:40

laughing cause as new yorkers we

24:42

bond over negativity give me something the

24:44

about and the how you

24:47

know that be that whole day of fun conversation

24:49

you know

24:52

no i know become on the didn't see

24:54

talking about negative stuff about their relationship

24:56

know

24:57

oh

24:59

just anything remotely negative she

25:01

said anything

25:02

sorry i just that that that's why didn't he

25:04

owners ipos there's because i didn't always talks about

25:06

because i was making the assumption

25:09

that she's talking about

25:11

anything negative in relation to them or

25:13

him

25:14

i think you guys new learn how to bond over

25:16

negativity or i

25:19

ravens are dating apps words like stop

25:21

with others like early both like the same music's

25:23

know what music's devos hate that will

25:25

keep you together he

25:28

is stronger than love

25:30

okay new boyfriend is not as smart

25:33

always ask what words mean like spasm

25:35

or auspicious why do i think it's cute

25:37

that he asks i think it's cute that he like

25:40

doesn't pretending

25:40

then he he did only yeah

25:44

i mean he has never brought vocabulary some

25:47

people have so she's concerned about his lack

25:49

of vocab this was going

25:50

that was her example of may be book

25:52

smart but history

25:53

women

25:54

you don't learn about spasms for you and your third

25:57

right so he should be amazon

25:59

that is goes under twenty five he the

26:02

lowest bargain is one of even though does

26:04

it mean to kiss me stereotyping

26:06

if you say that is still the according to the

26:08

zippers you be like will he ever shut the fuck out

26:10

about his back spasms because

26:13

i've had enough of his fucking spasms

26:15

by now led by

26:16

this is only give hot q

26:18

and you're probably in your early twenties day them until

26:20

you get bored okay

26:23

we have an irish the

26:26

question how should a twenty right twenty

26:28

nine year old irish girl find the right

26:30

guy

26:31

twenty nine year old irish girl find

26:33

the i got this put yourself in

26:35

or sit the shoes of a twenty nine year old irish

26:37

girl in a don't

26:40

like what would like that there's no answers that is

26:42

do whatever he but like literally

26:44

do what anybody does at any age to find

26:46

somebody gone apps you know

26:48

be open to you know be open

26:50

to

26:51

broaden your

26:53

the particulars i would say it is

26:55

i'm not a particular leno

26:57

like some people like oil a tall guys are only

26:59

let you know i you know like maybe maybe

27:01

maybe try not to be so related

27:04

your tastes a and

27:07

it's like saying it on the right guy without that when

27:09

you know how i'd have plenty of time

27:10

anytime okay this is for you can

27:12

the

27:12

really good at this her irish guy listen

27:15

you won't have announced i grew up rejects seven

27:17

nights a week i give you a month to be married

27:20

okay less irish he knows to iris

27:22

no very specific reference

27:25

how do you make friends as an adult does

27:27

is incredible anywhere we go he

27:29

has a flock of friends that he made like the day

27:31

before and they act like they've been brothers for life

27:34

have you make friends as an adult well

27:37

you got a he joined of

27:39

a society or sporting event as like a club

27:42

that's the and is where you're gonna want you to hi

27:44

i joined the gop of here like seven years ago know

27:46

i mean i have like a whole other life spent

27:49

by never had for a

27:51

, we made friends through volleyball

27:54

tennis club as a leary blink trivialize

27:56

the first meeting people and i put

27:58

negativity is there isn't everybody is

28:00

the key

28:01

bonded through a common theme like to colts

28:04

even the figure it out it's got

28:06

you got it when

28:08

you're an adult like the not going to it's

28:11

rare to just become friends by i

28:13

mean i know you tell the story about how you met in elevating

28:15

has became friends but the very or an

28:17

arm and thing is you get older as it

28:20

it it'll have to be getting

28:22

, in some sort of recurring event where

28:25

in the early part of the friendships

28:27

are you have are you to be

28:30

together because yes you know you not just gonna suddenly

28:32

be like hey you want to hang out again i mean that might happen

28:34

either wrong with that

28:35

like a best friend thing to like go

28:37

either way to set up a lunch so instead

28:40

having these weekly just general

28:42

activities with people is how you you get

28:44

that like peripheral friend group that's nice

28:46

to have

28:47

there's and so he then you'd you have a natural

28:49

common interest then it you know listen it doesn't have to be

28:51

a sporting event in can be

28:54

any a really it depends on

28:56

what you're into you know a so

28:58

i can have we can go through the the

29:00

list of activities that one could do but

29:03

i would suggest down and

29:06

doing an activity and if you're not into sports then

29:08

maybe i don't know some sort of card game lottery

29:11

the pottery you are

29:13

book club when you have a book

29:15

club

29:16

does is really good at the

29:18

leisure stuff for you have to be open

29:20

to

29:21

you know you have to be open to making

29:24

new friends and sometimes you have to step out a comfort

29:26

zone you know you have to if

29:28

to get together in a situation where you my feel

29:30

nervous isn't you know but it it

29:32

works out

29:34

oh and i was going to say obviously

29:37

when when you have kids alone sometimes

29:39

having children just be

29:41

opened you have to whole new boyfriend group

29:44

we have some legal questions out what is

29:46

it as a favorite thing that had a does when

29:48

she gets tipsy

29:50

i mean it wouldn't be the area would go to

29:52

phrasing favorite was

29:55

, rare though you're not a big drinker know

29:58

yeah

29:59

home

29:59

the wedding

30:03

it over

30:04

i mean zero hannah was you more than tipsy

30:07

really at the wedding even though you know big drinker

30:09

at haley's wedding when i get excited

30:11

for an event i'll like drink for it

30:14

nope so i listen i don't

30:16

drink and the

30:20

or i'm pretty i'm great socially but you

30:22

know there's a certain time when you're non drinker where

30:24

you're coming done there's not a ton

30:27

of

30:28

bonus for hanging around but you know i

30:30

ought to be the party pooper but i felt

30:32

like we had been there long enough and i was like hey maybe we

30:34

could go and you were adamant that we weren't going

30:37

and

30:39

the only state another thirty to forty five minutes

30:42

and within that thirty forty five minutes the weight

30:44

numerous slices of pizza and a lotta tater tots

30:46

physicists you really went on a

30:49

you're dead so much so that i

30:51

was joking with somebody when i was watching you from

30:53

a distance stuffing your face i

30:55

, to somebody i was like a lot going to get around here

30:58

she that if if then suddenly

31:00

came up to me like out of the blue the where

31:03

i have actually gone and i don't like

31:05

a second windows like certainly sounds all new

31:07

bunch of people and i you

31:09

elect let's go public what like right now

31:11

he was sick about have nots golf others

31:14

are said like said half hour ago let's ago you

31:16

know have to stay know years ago i could have saved

31:18

with thousand towers i know but

31:20

do you think it absorbed the l gone and help

31:22

my own hang over the next day

31:24

i just with my heels there's a moment

31:26

where i'm like i can't be up ray anymore and

31:28

i need to be horizontal into bed he

31:30

doesn't miss we are not

31:31

years

31:33

you are already asleep at the time i finish brush my teeth

31:38

oh do ya know tipsy there's nothing there's

31:41

nothing you do tipsy that's better than

31:43

when you're not you know

31:45

i feel like i might like jokingly

31:47

be a little flirty and that i immediately falsely

31:50

hopefully before you booze is not

31:53

of booze is not an aphrodisiac for us

31:56

boyfriend is afraid of

31:58

the

31:59

the word

32:00

dump him or be peace

32:03

i mean i've never really understood the whole

32:05

fear of the love word we

32:08

put too much on that anyway

32:09

the aisles that are no we don't know how long they been

32:11

the girls dot on this information's it's been

32:13

sixteen years

32:15

the get along the been together but

32:18

you know it's it's a silly thing to be like

32:20

orange you don't know someone as a way that yes

32:22

it is yeah but whatever i'd

32:25

like more information on this once i i feel

32:28

i feel bad not giving them the year

32:30

the gambia as his i say it accidentally eventually

32:34

will you get him drunk a lot and say i just like

32:37

ask him before he comes to be my yeah

32:40

you know so yeah just like good

32:42

to get that's what a five minute window before is about the blows

32:44

load and ask them down and see what

32:48

exodus you're fully immersed

32:50

in your podcast because of the back of your mind

32:52

you're not trying to recall when that deadline was

32:54

supposed to be or stressing to keep everyone

32:57

updated on next steps

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33:18

says

33:20

who this is an interesting one how to date a woman

33:22

who was more emotionally

33:24

high maintenance than you

33:26

water

33:27

how did it someone who's more

33:29

emotionally high maintenance than you

33:32

simpli a woman with a a

33:34

more emotionally high maintenance man that

33:38

that's what silva

33:38

or it's a woman who's dating a woman or

33:41

the got it's a girl who's more

33:44

high maintenance wine to know the

33:46

advice for her guy

33:48

i mean

33:50

that's that's a very difficult question to answer

33:52

i mean like so that like

33:55

he basically saying she has more emotional

33:57

the admitting that is not matching

33:59

the high maintenance

34:01

the loaded in

34:02

i i going to be on going to throw would

34:05

this is going to be judgmental take but i'm going to take the

34:07

risk

34:09

when somebody says they're high maintenance on anything that's

34:13

a red flag for me actually because

34:15

i go like what

34:17

is unique about you not at the same

34:19

time i'm not dismissing anybody's

34:22

traumas

34:24

but it same time

34:25

you know like

34:27

why

34:28

why high maintenance

34:30

why

34:31

like why did they need more

34:33

than the average for this i

34:35

love tough love with as

34:37

uber know but i'm just saying like if

34:39

you so i'm high maintenance is like

34:41

well

34:43

you know you know you don't have to be yeah

34:45

you don't i mean

34:46

i completely understand i also think it

34:48

stems from you when

34:50

you kind of want more mostly from your partner

34:53

sometimes and were nicer and a ghastly you i

34:55

i think it's it's a two way street cause

34:57

sometimes he may not be giving enough but then also

35:00

i know there's certain times of the month are

35:02

certain things i'm going through our find myself

35:04

more emotionally needy from you

35:06

we're playing appear missing but

35:09

or or like something

35:11

is happening where i'm feeling and secure and

35:13

i want the person next to me to fix

35:15

it like with immediate

35:18

things when it's like actually not

35:21

not that easy well

35:23

you know this given taken all relationships

35:26

but

35:28

somebody her needing

35:31

something at a particular time is not high

35:33

maintenance this person saying they're

35:35

high maintenance which is says

35:38

if you say your high maintenance you saying that it

35:40

takes more to maintain you than the average person

35:42

yet

35:43

you've pissed him off

35:44

this word know on it it's

35:46

know it's it's not i'm just i'm just asking

35:48

the question but i'm also

35:50

just throw it out there am you know

35:53

like

35:57

you have to be able to look after yourself

35:59

also no why would you want

36:01

to put an extra burden on somebody unless

36:03

of course out

36:05

of your control which i completely understand

36:07

but you do need to be honest with yourself

36:09

what is out of my control them what isn't

36:12

at beautiful

36:14

for in my sleep my

36:16

boyfriend last that it would you think it

36:18

secretly really grosses amount know

36:21

harding does not those minutes

36:24

this is a fact

36:26

when is really smelly

36:28

no it it it to the smell

36:30

grosses me out what is it was no long lasting

36:32

effects of like i can't be with this person

36:35

even sort of thing who was sounding far it looks

36:37

like but you have you

36:39

have you have a very bad run a very smelly fart

36:41

periods in our relationship and

36:47

i'm good gusting i'm gonna policy told

36:50

with save their relationships know whether

36:52

they would react

36:53

i still have some hot far

36:55

it's that you don't smell

36:58

no coded the i never got my smell

37:00

fully back and and we got the delta a year

37:02

ago he presses i

37:04

have had a a long term was

37:06

response nasally and

37:11

but anyway i a good men

37:13

aren't grossed out by fort i mean they're obviously

37:16

certain situations where it's disgusting

37:18

but that's just because like

37:20

you shouldn't do a smelly one when you're eating or

37:22

like you should try to avoid as you're like

37:25

before you get to be intimate you know

37:26

yeah i'm , girl you

37:28

realize majority of when you're first

37:31

dating you're first is just navigating

37:33

that a wholly farts

37:35

the pooping and farting

37:37

what about pooping like it or if one

37:40

is that know if one month then i go

37:42

in and i just room in your bathroom

37:44

and i am one oh no boop i'm to those are the

37:46

whole issue

37:48

we are obsessed with this sense

37:50

of

37:51

oh i can't because bathroom like we

37:54

all poop we all fourth this is part

37:56

of life your grandmother who you gonna you gonna go is

37:58

this should be able to that would

37:59

that i hope you're right i know it's

38:01

be you can't fuck it up with owe

38:03

a debt with diarrhea true

38:06

like if he's into his and ceo as he wasn't

38:08

even that

38:09

her anymore or wouldn't be worried about mostly

38:12

like a i say be

38:14

small percentage of men that really care

38:16

you know also deprived protecting their own shit

38:18

on

38:19

it was really like most women's

38:21

the level of finding that a woman could be concerned

38:24

about would be a very low level of fighting to a man

38:26

but i have really i'm next

38:28

level with my

38:29

then it's fine it's not

38:31

an issue an issue be a it's a funny

38:34

it's a funny question but it's not really

38:35

the government bond you are it's funny because in front

38:37

of them

38:38

the i am more depth we have more deaths

38:40

than answering this question oh

38:43

you are we go deeper though i'm just saying that

38:45

you know

38:46

we can talk a lot of afford

38:48

i were talking about it i also think

38:50

that with i'm my friends i'll be weird to be going

38:52

to poop wedding so think i'm growth of for some reason

38:54

with you i love be like i made a poop

38:59

okay moving on on my

39:01

husband thinks i'm is made need

39:04

advice hell

39:05

your husband think she's one

39:07

that she's made like

39:09

he basically assume

39:10

this year that couldn't clean every

39:12

well if i was him i'd be a very disappointed

39:15

boyfriend splash husband know

39:18

give you know girl know girl this is you he

39:21

doesn't just think it

39:23

you've shown him that you are

39:25

capable of being is made and i was your first mistake

39:28

very early on used to show that you're incapable

39:30

of anything and he will not as

39:31

the have anything no i don't think that

39:34

actually but your job that's a joke

39:36

response but

39:38

the serious responses

39:41

you just can't you have to be honest and say

39:43

i'm not like i can't do that for your time

39:45

you have to step up

39:47

and twenty twenty two you have to step not neither

39:49

of us are great but the cleaning stuff but that's

39:51

separate

39:52

okay that's are issue is that both

39:54

of us can live the messy life

39:59

i step up to the plate or not

40:02

always i'm always conscious

40:04

of either you doing too much or me do it too

40:06

much and were pretty good like that except the laundry

40:08

which you seem to have a specific aversion

40:11

to or , today i

40:13

came in and you're like all hot about you'd

40:15

organized the clothes and

40:17

as i could you go into larger me like oh feel

40:20

feel we're have a clean clothes are you did fold

40:23

only dirty clothes for some reason some no

40:25

i have folded dirty clothes and unfolded

40:27

blink harvest that's but that's race

40:29

the out on the all joking aside on that

40:33

it's unacceptable for him to think that

40:35

that's your responsibility

40:36

and some people naturally aren't

40:38

one to me to be like oh let me help

40:41

oh let me help sometimes simplify it

40:43

for him maybe there's something he doesn't like

40:46

like , example my parents my dad always

40:48

says the dishes my mom loves doing most

40:50

things she doesn't like the dishes and he knows

40:52

that she cooks she does everything

40:54

after she cooks after they eat he does

40:56

the dishes and simple for him it's easy

40:58

any the vacuum or he loves

41:00

the vacuum moment and you kind

41:02

of beginning to look given to a lucky

41:05

if he wants to act like is when the

41:07

kids given mature

41:08

the i mean he absolutely needs to be given a chore

41:10

that that it's not cool for that to happen

41:12

there's a recent thing on tic toc of a lot of

41:15

moms bonding coming out over how

41:17

like some men really

41:19

have this like single parent mentality

41:21

where like

41:22

it once they have kids they just think the

41:24

wife does everything

41:26

what are your to though have all us all

41:29

history has been open i guess now

41:31

it's nowhere

41:32

hundred pressing like serious depression

41:35

suicidal thoughts of just being like this

41:37

is too much for me to handle my husband is

41:40

worthless

41:42

yeah i mean useless you mean

41:47

i mean but women always had those feelings they just

41:49

didn't have a fucking social media to vent

41:51

them

41:51

the another like a whole wave

41:55

of women on tic toc are opening

41:57

up about feeling very very lonely and

41:59

the parents

41:59

the area

42:01

this

42:02

hopefully

42:03

when i think they made they

42:06

had children they had children ff

42:09

ff ff ff ff

42:11

lot of people have been as his about babies

42:13

avoiding the questions when whatever when

42:15

with we'll cross that bridge and we come to

42:17

the work will cross it when i forget

42:20

to dig that could draw at the wrong day on

42:23

how to stay motivated while working from home

42:26

and stop taking midday bath

42:29

why

42:32

they've come on we we with you

42:34

answer that like

42:38

i want i'm not want good working from home

42:40

advice guy in are

42:42

you neither my you have to find

42:45

me a very moderate you're good at working from home in

42:47

terms of like it's not the same though because

42:49

you're like self employed but yes ah you

42:51

know and you cannot love with you do

42:53

but

42:53

i do i do remember the when

42:55

i was like applying for jobs

42:58

are working from home with some other stuff i

43:00

will i knew i need to go to coffee shop owner

43:02

where you live but i love with the coffee shops

43:05

vibe you must select your little on

43:07

workplace and

43:09

get some fun coffee and try to make it as fun

43:12

as you can and also sometimes you are

43:14

burnt out and say okay i'm going to give myself

43:16

an hour to space out or be in a bath

43:18

the school tic toc and then i'll get back into it

43:20

cause sometimes you the way more work

43:22

if you give herself three hours than have then

43:25

hours a day

43:26

you're just be you have a stick to schedule

43:28

though i mean let let let's assume and the situation

43:30

that coffee shops in an obstacle maybe they work from home

43:32

because they also have my children

43:35

to say the hypothetically is ah

43:37

you have to stick to the schedule i schedule i i

43:40

there's no problem haven't a midday bass but

43:42

you you need to stick to schedule you need to

43:45

you need to get the productivity dumb because you know what happens

43:47

you haven't made a bet you can relax because

43:49

in the back you my york i know i should be doing this whereas

43:52

if you stick to the schedule then we have humid

43:54

day bathroom like was midday best time yes

43:57

yeah deserve this yes

44:00

two men rejecting their small

44:02

dick energy in the workplace

44:04

why do my own that as a to such as do

44:06

the deed these terms are unacceptable terms

44:10

like if we're if we're going to live in a world of quality

44:14

can't be paying him out big dick energy small

44:16

dick energy it's as if these are acceptable terms

44:18

for describing male behavior

44:20

men project in their insecurities

44:23

and the workplace and dealing with and how to deal

44:25

with it

44:26

not my area of expertise

44:28

you've dealt with man who are insecure in your workplace

44:30

i ain't if they were i don't have a traditional

44:33

workplace

44:33

though i think the first

44:36

step is knowing that what

44:38

you're dealing with and once you can understand

44:40

that it's not you and your

44:43

it's not your work that's actually

44:45

the issue and it's him putting his son on

44:47

to you it really does help and you have

44:49

to just

44:50

you're kind of be aware of the situation understand

44:53

who you're dealing with a know that it's

44:55

he said

44:55

yuri yeah i just haven't had to do

44:57

a lot of power dynamics so i guess why don't

45:00

feel like i don't feel that to qualify

45:02

to talk about that because it on

45:05

i've i've dealt with the kind of workplace suffer

45:07

like you've literally say

45:08

in idea and the guy just repeats and of of the great

45:10

idea gym it's

45:14

serve with him

45:16

that printer

45:17

would

45:19

you have her would you guys ever swing

45:21

with other couples

45:23

never come up you

45:26

on how about

45:27

three farms

45:31

there so awkward

45:32

no involved in just

45:34

facts i don't know heard maneuver that

45:37

we can barely watch porn together

45:40

yeah i mean

45:44

i wouldn't be into

45:46

swinging

45:47

what you know why

45:49

and i i i'm just not

45:51

like

45:53

i'm inclined to

45:55

like to the a really there's that many things i would

45:57

try first the first my ear different

45:59

the threesome

46:01

the more to

46:02

antisocial first swinging

46:04

i might have dinner

46:07

right but listen three sons are fine

46:10

are you totally skewed you express threesome

46:12

they're like it is if like and

46:14

by the way you do also

46:16

kind of suggested that our sex life was awkward

46:18

that that's not know

46:19

i'm the same sex in general and my

46:22

past not with here

46:25

what kind of the one funny story that watch

46:27

porn and and yeah you have been

46:29

you babe i do think that people

46:31

and vision like a threesome look being

46:33

like in a movies and i just know

46:36

that my first three some experience would

46:39

never be like

46:40

like i'd be like thinking

46:43

of home make fun of it later

46:46

and i doubt we will be able to come

46:49

i mean whenever my gonna i'm going to talk about

46:51

my threesome experiences

46:54

we're coming out of two

46:56

different angles i don't know what to say no

46:59

pun intended

47:00

okay

47:03

who this one's alone deb

47:05

the ready

47:07

boyfriend of four years just told

47:09

me he doesn't know if he ever wants to get married

47:11

and to top it off doesn't know of he's emotionally

47:13

attracted to me anymore low

47:16

it's over

47:17

hook done then told me

47:19

it could help if i wore more make

47:21

up and didn't were lazy close around the

47:23

and that's that's no

47:25

and to top it all off i just got laid off from

47:27

my job so sensei want to crawl into

47:29

a whole

47:30

the who we own three dogs together i'm trying

47:32

to make things work for feel like he's not trying

47:34

he's

47:35

i know you're not trying you are one hundred percent

47:37

correct he is not trying it's

47:39

it's it's it's crazy thing to express

47:43

the second a guy says is that i'm

47:45

emotionally attracted to you anymore and he's

47:47

visiting the

47:48

the beach i could you know work is he wants you to throw make

47:50

up on your face yes crazy you gotta

47:52

tonight

47:53

wait for grabs

47:55

, don't forget i

47:58

want to point out that if out that this way would

48:00

have been out the door a long time ago because asthma of organiser

48:02

man for it the

48:05

other , i don't make an effort are just given

48:08

discuss our lives here gonna think seizures

48:10

and i'm pretty sure you're brought brought

48:14

a up you

48:17

wearing aids and united were like boxers

48:19

your word was he was observers

48:22

mail why did was observers mail

48:25

my brother's wife looked

48:27

at it's all about how you were not what you

48:29

were and i'm confident i mean like

48:31

let's face it right mean panic is dressed

48:33

like right lesbian porn

48:35

star at not sweetest

48:38

cat my this that it at that of it as

48:40

the report said

48:44

i go that lesbians of us oh my god loves

48:47

us private or public

48:49

but there's

48:50

i do think yet

48:52

that is so far

48:53

what i read it isn't record this

48:55

one of things i love about years that you know we're

48:58

not overly concerned about that

49:00

is the i mean i am when i'm working like when it's

49:02

time to look good we look good what

49:05

like in everyday life like literally

49:07

spend eighty percent of our lives

49:09

in pajamas i'm good

49:10

i also do like that

49:12

when i do dress up by feel kind

49:15

of fun and special if you put pressure

49:17

on yourself every day to lake

49:19

look at type away

49:21

also with my

49:22

that seeming language yeah that's horrible

49:24

like as if you cook

49:26

that's fucked up but i also think be

49:28

this i only wore makeup then

49:30

one day he didn't wear makeup i would look

49:33

a little more ready

49:34

c you at first

49:35

that if you're never wear makeup like

49:38

the person does that that you

49:41

so you you set your own standards

49:43

the beauty

49:44

the other soon and i are lesbian porn is instead

49:47

a guy i think teachers pushed

49:49

as as

49:51

that is my vibe i

49:53

mean i like to play with the androgyny

49:55

lily to mix and match stuff

49:59

the

50:01

it with a coin let's face it a lot

50:03

of it's just

50:04

the new laziness it in a good way

50:07

and we been like i'd i'd my ascetic was

50:09

like nineties teenage boy

50:12

during the day like baggy jeans baggy

50:14

sure the

50:16

like that or me dressing like a wide uk

50:18

barbara

50:19

we were dead none of these options

50:21

are great right

50:24

the advice for have a successful

50:27

relationship while

50:29

you know you got a phone sex europe

50:31

i do also think that there has to be kind

50:33

of an end in sight like you have to be like okay

50:36

we have or or something or looking forward to like

50:38

over meeting in two months or we've this

50:40

trip where you're moving back at this time

50:42

yeah i mean loan just as long term is very difficult

50:44

won't this was short terms fine but

50:47

, know it eventually if there's

50:49

what i was in my lifetime i've had

50:51

numerous long distance relationships that with

50:53

him as a hippie i'm speaking

50:56

vaguely it's and

51:01

the ones that weren't

51:03

able to resolve the the distance issue

51:05

long term didn't work out isn't isn't

51:08

you know if you can resolve the distance

51:10

the has to be a sense of at some stage we can

51:12

resolve this am therefore it's worth

51:15

therefore sacrifice but sacrifice it's if it's

51:17

if if if the resolution is too far away it's not

51:19

worth it to me as i just think you naturally drift

51:21

yeah i also think you have to prioritize

51:24

oh my success long distance

51:25

the bears

51:27

the phone conversation

51:29

at least once a day where you take

51:31

that like twenty minutes to an

51:33

hour where you're fully just

51:36

catching up with each other focus on each other

51:38

happy that little like coffee date and

51:41

thing i could i could do without but

51:44

it's like having that phone or that face time

51:46

and i

51:49

don't care if it's you in costly texting

51:51

you like he's he acknowledges

51:53

your existence i want to fuck in phone call

51:55

and i think we're really good at that

51:57

yeah but we don't have a long distance relationship paper

51:59

the apart sometimes job this is

52:02

i wouldn't i wouldn't i

52:05

would categorize long distance more as like

52:07

ah , extended period

52:09

of time where you don't get to see each other much

52:11

at all isn't isn't you know

52:15

we're gonna we're gonna go deep

52:17

did he had you wanna go deeper

52:19

i'm is there anything you consciously try

52:21

to do everyday

52:22

the were your partner your

52:25

marriage to be success

52:27

but i mean i i i don't try

52:29

to consciously do anything specific

52:31

to you

52:33

i

52:36

do think we consciously

52:38

tried to have like quality

52:42

we weren't were clearly time couple i think

52:44

though it's like we their it's i phone conversation

52:47

or like as having one activity

52:49

with you together

52:50

yeah

52:51

nothing specific i

52:54

am i other

52:56

than just making sure that we connect

52:58

we connect every day on

53:01

something other than that the

53:03

the mundane to the of life or that some

53:05

you know whether that we connect with more

53:07

than just

53:09

life's natural organization

53:12

you know that reconnect on something deeper than

53:14

the schedule

53:16

sometimes it is just the mentality of life

53:18

but that's that's mary

53:20

yeah yeah but what i what i

53:22

mean is

53:23

i'd like to think that up to now

53:25

she's only we only recently my habit together living

53:27

together actually for coming on nearly two years

53:29

now we're living together nearly

53:31

two years and we've only known each other for

53:34

just over there yes this yes this a lotta

53:37

your we were living together before new retailers i'm

53:40

like who is this woman in my house why is my

53:42

house smell farts

53:45

the i i

53:48

think we're pretty good at not getting lost in

53:50

the

53:51

schedule but insane that we don't have kids

53:55

like gets harder when you know it gets harder

53:57

when life gets a little busier

53:59

we got a lot of questions that were some are some gonna

54:02

put it together and this i think

54:04

you'd be better answer than me is

54:06

i feel like i compare my life to other

54:08

people and my schedule is behind

54:11

like i haven't found my person and i

54:13

don't have children and the people around me are getting

54:15

married and i just feel behind in

54:17

life is there something wrong with me

54:20

this some expressing this

54:21

yeah there was like at least ten questions like that

54:24

oh really

54:26

because they they what i'm

54:28

assuming that a lot of your listeners a more like

54:31

your age are only like late twenties or

54:33

thirties what to compared

54:35

to compete which is not

54:37

healthy because everybody's

54:40

life as you know does

54:43

does no linear there's no correct journey

54:46

and so it it

54:48

it it can be hard not to do that but you should

54:50

not compare you not think

54:52

that there are places that you should be

54:56

if you look at my letters example there was a time where

54:58

i would have found almost a traditional path

55:01

of you know i would have been married by whatever

55:03

it was thirty one thirty two at

55:05

know

55:06

longer twenty

55:08

the

55:09

no no thirty thirty two so

55:13

we're

55:14

and the your thirty two as well it's

55:16

an early schools and

55:18

and that would a that was seem to

55:20

be fine and then that didn't happen and

55:23

like when all the ways parents

55:25

die and different things happen and

55:27

did you feel behind when he saw your friends having

55:29

kids

55:29

now

55:31

the only thing my friends having kids made

55:33

me feel was i'd love to have a kid

55:37

you know and the only thing they're all those kids

55:39

that are now

55:40

eight nine ten and eleven has

55:42

made me think is

55:44

i got i didn't have a kid but

55:47

, bit of joking but no i'm not but

55:49

actually i've seen too much you

55:51

know because

55:53

they say at the underwater you see was really

55:55

charlie sheen and he's about to go about jail

55:58

that and the guy system

55:59

when a man looks in the abyss it's what he sees

56:02

in the abyss that keeps him out of it and

56:04

that's what i saw when i saw those kids so

56:07

or the way up again i'm

56:09

joking but , witless earnest

56:12

because it's a serious question yes i

56:14

think that you should not feel like that

56:16

is essential because of it also makes the assumption

56:18

that those things are the right things

56:20

for you which is

56:22

not one hundred percent

56:24

sure you know and you

56:27

also to be honest you've no idea what the other people

56:29

you comparing his of to a really feeling yep

56:31

you know any another who's another wishing ill

56:33

will on them but you just all the outcomes

56:35

are going to be different so your

56:37

assumption that

56:39

, outcome your you want is

56:42

, be the right outcome

56:44

for you is incorrect so what you should

56:46

try to do i think an attitude

56:48

of gratitude is the better place to

56:50

be in this for you should try

56:52

to the grateful for what

56:55

what is in your life yes today

56:57

yes you know because first will you

56:59

don't even like more

57:01

like is actually if you look at statistics

57:03

and probability more likely within

57:05

three years from this point of dissatisfaction

57:08

a lot of the things that you were unhappy

57:11

weren't in your life will probably be in your life anyway

57:13

so it's not a case of being grateful because you have to accept

57:16

your lot would you should be grateful because

57:18

this is the place that you are now you need

57:20

to embrace it because it will you will not be in this place

57:23

in a better you should be a different place and

57:25

so it's good to embrace everything that's happening

57:28

for your now he's truly experiences

57:30

what's going to change i listened people don't

57:32

always get what they want and then look back

57:34

and think oh this is so much better than it was someplace

57:37

people look back and lament

57:39

the freedom that they had or this you

57:41

know just where they were out of that time or

57:43

you know that you just have no idea so at

57:46

all this stuff is hypothetical some us and you gotta be

57:48

less happy and three years when you get all the things you want

57:50

sport i am saying is

57:52

the one thing you would be sorry

57:55

for

57:56

the not true the experiencing whatever

57:58

happening for you now because

58:00

you will look back and think oh

58:03

i spent the whole time

58:04

this contended where was that

58:07

i should have just been great i

58:09

could have appreciated it more

58:10

yes yeah so

58:12

greens fried it be

58:14

present in the experience that you're having now

58:17

and watch your the documentaries and i love

58:19

the like come up with stars and how they

58:21

got to where they are and there's this weird

58:23

consistent story of like

58:25

these mega stars being like knows the most

58:27

fun we were in that tour bus playing

58:30

bars we hadn't we can barely

58:32

afford food and we just like last

58:34

and loved each other's company and at that moment

58:36

they would have given anything

58:38

probably to be where they were but

58:40

it's finding the beauty and each moment

58:42

it's funny someone also said i don't want to end

58:44

up alone but i hate dating

58:46

in my thirties

58:50

i would say than down and just wait for them to

58:52

get divorced and day in your forties

58:54

yeah

58:57

we love a divorcee they've

58:59

been through shit they know thing

59:00

yeah and you can get better at doing to you know you can

59:02

be more discerning

59:04

yeah but it's listen i i i

59:08

also i i i i i always

59:10

enjoyed dating know i like ice the one

59:12

thing and i dig possibly again says like

59:15

the division a men and women situation

59:17

is but you know

59:20

i mean i had to bed days but i never

59:23

i never once got frustrated with either

59:25

scenario

59:26

i would

59:27

emotionally get exhausted with like

59:30

kind of the oh i need to hurt someone

59:34

or oh i'm

59:36

i don't like hurting people and i felt like

59:39

after one date if date if giving them

59:41

what they wanted i was like hurting people

59:43

i'm and i was a great it that sometimes

59:45

what i mean i should have had an attitude

59:47

of like this is my life

59:48

i don't care if i'm going to yourself

59:51

that's not my problem

59:54

the a dating to get exhausting as like if if you

59:56

haven't is like two to three month relationships but it's

59:58

also like you learn every

59:59

the mirror for you

1:00:00

you learn from other people they training wheels

1:00:03

and think it's like a buffet your taste

1:00:05

in different food

1:00:07

yeah

1:00:08

like the decks i'm

1:00:11

have saved your loneliness that

1:00:13

doesn't involve getting a boyfriend or another

1:00:15

cat boyfriend love this question you

1:00:18

should get another cat but i do think

1:00:20

i've never been a person that gets bored when

1:00:22

i'm alone the guy i like being

1:00:24

alone on i do think

1:00:26

it's finding like the inner child

1:00:28

that has spine things that

1:00:30

really bring you joy in yourself

1:00:33

and that's when you actually starts to create

1:00:35

the people around you

1:00:37

it's tough because it's difference in a different

1:00:40

people's lives

1:00:41

we both we have careers

1:00:43

were

1:00:45

the natural social element to just go

1:00:47

into work and albacete many

1:00:49

not all but many workplaces are social

1:00:51

environments they're not always

1:00:54

fun the and and always as much fun

1:00:56

of yeah our job

1:00:59

though i have an appreciation for

1:01:01

it can be difficult for some people if they're maybe

1:01:03

in a slightly more isolated situation

1:01:06

what it is interesting how things that i

1:01:09

joke about dishonoring men from your life but

1:01:11

things that i'd love to do individually

1:01:14

has connected me to you like the fact

1:01:16

that i love comedy i love playing

1:01:18

golf i love tennis i love

1:01:21

be note going on beaches i love new york

1:01:23

like that stuff that i've had to learn

1:01:25

about myself over the years

1:01:27

and because i have those tendencies

1:01:30

and hobbies that's what connect

1:01:32

meet other people

1:01:33

yeah but you have to

1:01:35

make those connections and this person like

1:01:38

the one thing i would say that

1:01:40

hannah be complacent you have

1:01:42

to force yourself to be social at times

1:01:44

even know it cause there's

1:01:47

nothing wrong with spending time on your

1:01:49

own but

1:01:50

isolation

1:01:52

it can be a choice or can be a whole

1:01:54

that you fall into that

1:01:57

the more you're in any moment we're not meant to be

1:01:59

i feel as humans were not

1:02:01

the vienna way it's important to be social

1:02:04

a so in a situation where

1:02:06

she sang rather than i think it's a sheet

1:02:08

or rather than cat or finding a

1:02:10

boyfriend

1:02:12

you know i i think you should

1:02:13

try to step out of your comfort zone spend more time with your

1:02:15

friends or

1:02:16

the situation is necessary

1:02:19

meet meet new friends which brings us

1:02:21

back to what we talk about earlier how do you do

1:02:23

that listen to the beginning of the park as

1:02:25

much of what we said the beginning park as a

1:02:28

and this and this assumption that something like

1:02:30

this might be going on but if you're not

1:02:32

a cat and it's not a boyfriend or a

1:02:34

partner than i do think that

1:02:36

you shouldn't one hundred percent isolate

1:02:38

all the time you should try to spin mortazavi friends

1:02:40

and will make a difference

1:02:41

loneliness and boredom to an extent

1:02:44

is a mindset like your thing with gratitude

1:02:46

and really working mostly i'm becoming your

1:02:48

own best friend not being afraid to be alone with

1:02:50

your own thoughts be excited billie com we gotta

1:02:52

get your home tonight and i guess it's

1:02:54

you know booth myself was really want to watch

1:02:56

and and and do self care stuff

1:02:59

for myself and getting that kind of

1:03:01

relationship where you're not afraid to

1:03:03

be alone with who you are and that

1:03:05

energy actually does attract more

1:03:07

people towards you which is weird cause it's all

1:03:09

like internal but sitting in her own skin

1:03:11

a be okay with that is really power

1:03:13

for yes one hundred percent but

1:03:15

you can't you can't isolate you have to be social

1:03:18

at times

1:03:19

regard they this isn't so

1:03:21

much fun tough love

1:03:23

with dez

1:03:24

there's been no tough love here is

1:03:26

tony

1:03:26

boy even though you're saying very helpful

1:03:29

they on pickup know you just have

1:03:31

a lake gym coach

1:03:34

the pros

1:03:36

found a relief to that's just the new

1:03:38

yorker to yet that's a queen's things that away i

1:03:40

was raised eggs

1:03:41

exactly exactly i'm does

1:03:44

what yeah i think i think people can misunderstand

1:03:46

that some time zones probably got me trouble over the years

1:03:48

yeah probably

1:03:49

people think that i'm like you're in your damn as

1:03:51

we know is this is not return

1:03:54

to help you like fulfill group

1:03:56

you

1:03:59

that we

1:03:59

love our little devil so much and dez

1:04:02

i'm so happy that you came on see give

1:04:04

your insight and your years and

1:04:06

years and years of experience

1:04:08

i mean not really

1:04:11

wasn't very personal were for a feel like there

1:04:13

was a certain detachment to this

1:04:14

no but it's based on your own experiences

1:04:16

that you're able to help other people on for that

1:04:19

for that will keep you around i'm

1:04:21

working people follow you on watch

1:04:23

you what's going on and

1:04:27

when i'm promoting you know it exists

1:04:30

, that that

1:04:32

bespoke instagram desperate five

1:04:34

on tic toc isn't and

1:04:38

we're we're going to be a long beach is when when you put innocent

1:04:40

alberta fairly today

1:04:41

my oh yeah we'll be in long beach on monday long

1:04:44

beach new york long been under your near

1:04:46

and in a bar called the beach house isn't

1:04:49

the in long beach and

1:04:51

, if there's any irish listeners and back

1:04:53

might buy final seven irish me i'm

1:04:55

ah michelle's will be on

1:04:57

in a dry the and

1:05:00

his co kenny

1:05:01

or

1:05:03

and to other towns perilous

1:05:06

i have so much fun unload devils let

1:05:08

me know if you want to seduce more often pharma

1:05:11

the north

1:05:12

are you going out there was the last

1:05:14

one week i think you

1:05:16

the other shows are going to be amazing has been

1:05:18

on shows so good your cry your last pure

1:05:21

pants com who knows what

1:05:23

there's one final question my

1:05:27

knees max

1:05:27

my personality this nice

1:05:29

yeah

1:05:31

somehow