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pack today for just $99.99 plus

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eight free burgers with your order. I'm

1:27

getting a message. You know, I

1:29

have a old phone.

1:30

Evidently the queen is sick.

1:33

Slow, slow wifi.

1:41

Yeah, of course you can smoke in here. So you got this

1:43

house, right? Yeah. And

1:45

um. Oh here, pull the mic up to you.

1:48

Oh, sorry. Do we start? Do we start?

1:53

I can't, do you have a bigger stump?

1:56

Yeah, we have a bigger stump. Here, put the

1:58

stump closer to you. Oh, thanks. Oh,

2:01

thank you, buddy. Ah,

2:04

yes. What fire did you get

2:06

this one out? This was a fire season.

2:10

This was the old house. Leanne is it said the

2:12

other house Leanne is when we bought it. Leanne

2:14

loves cutting down fucking trees. Oh,

2:17

yeah. I'm not a person like that. Like, like,

2:19

well, see you owning a saw. No,

2:22

no, I like I like trees.

2:24

You do. Yeah, like privacy and trees. Hey,

2:26

I just started seeing those.

2:28

What's the what's

2:32

the tip on the cigarette? How about a hello?

2:35

How are you doing? Hey, Dave. It's

2:37

so good to see you. You know, I was

2:39

the one on the one on one, you know, I'm talking about

2:41

fighting the traffic. It's

2:43

great to be here, but thanks for having me. Now,

2:46

the cigarettes,

2:48

I have these little tips on the end,

2:51

on the on the end here. People always

2:53

ask me about them. They go, what is that? And

2:55

it's like a little plastic tip that takes some of the tar

2:57

out of it. Oh, just a little just a little

2:59

bit of the turnout. And if you smoke like three

3:02

or four of them, you can see it slowly build up. Really?

3:05

Yeah. And then I like to put

3:07

them in my mouth and it looks like teeth like

3:09

Halloween teeth. How

3:12

many packs do you smoke a day? I like

3:15

to smoke a pack for every hat I wear two hats.

3:18

But you're great. The one thing I

3:21

love about you is you're a master of branding.

3:23

So I'm trying to create a new character

3:25

called Davey two hats. I

3:28

get my name's Davey two hats.

3:30

I love that when we were doing the fully loaded,

3:32

you'd go up with your mask on. And I was like, wait,

3:34

what is going on with Dave with his mask? And

3:36

then you go, I got a bit for it. You

3:41

know me, I'm a prop man in

3:43

my heart. I'm all about props. But

3:46

I have to say, thanks again. That was

3:48

a great tour. And I'm so excited we're doing

3:50

it again. Yeah, we're doing it again. Fully loaded. We got

3:53

Tiffany Haddis just jumped on. Wow. Yeah.

3:55

Tiffany's going to do it and Stavros.

3:57

It's dude, it's just such all the people are.

3:59

of just fun hangs. I mean, like

4:02

just the few dates I did with you, it must've

4:04

been exhausting. I mean, you were there every

4:06

show, you closed every show, you did everything.

4:09

I don't mind it. I'm

4:11

getting a message. You don't

4:13

have a phone, yeah. Evidently

4:16

the queen is sick. Slow,

4:19

slow wifi.

4:21

Okay, sorry.

4:27

I just had to Georgia today. I said,

4:29

I'm doing a podcast with David Tell, and she

4:31

went, oh, dad, you should ask him how he writes

4:33

jokes. And I said, really? And she goes, yeah, maybe you

4:35

can like use some of that to start writing

4:38

jokes. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

4:40

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

4:42

I just shot something up

4:44

in San Francisco, and I definitely

4:46

could have used a few more jokes. You

4:48

know what I mean? We just shoot up in San Francisco. I was at Cobbs, which

4:50

is a great club, so I wanted to like lay down some tape.

4:52

It's been so long. And I got like bits, as

4:54

we all do, like

4:57

I'm so sick of these bits, and I wanted to get them on tape

4:59

already. You know, I don't even know if they're funny anymore.

5:01

And then I got like some new stuff that I wanted to put out there. Plus

5:04

there's like other little things I wanted to do. And

5:06

I got to say like of the two shows, one of them was

5:08

awesome. The other one sound problems, you

5:10

know, it was a little stiff and all that kind of stuff. Plus

5:13

I was like kind of all over the place on both of them. So

5:15

I'm hoping to get a

5:16

tight half hour. What do you think of this? Like the

5:18

half hour as opposed to the hour? What do you think? I

5:21

think someone just did, I

5:23

think Chris DiStefano did a shorter hour. Yeah, I saw

5:25

that. I love it. It was great. I

5:27

think the hours, like Saguro always does like an hour 20. Wow.

5:31

And I go, that just seems like a lot. I think,

5:34

and I think, but based on your style of comedy,

5:36

like I think Mark Norman, you, Sam Morell,

5:39

I think to do half hours is

5:41

perfect because it doesn't burn

5:43

all your material. So then you can still tour

5:46

with stuff. True. But I think for

5:48

like myself, because I do longer

5:50

stories, at half an hour I feel like I haven't

5:52

even started.

5:53

Yeah, Sam and Mark are like, like

5:55

those guys are always pumping out and

5:58

they're just doing their own material. They really are great. And I just.

5:59

for me, it's like, first of all, I

6:02

watched some hours and I watched

6:04

Marrons, which was awesome, and watched

6:07

a couple other ones. And I was like, it's

6:09

really like the actual time of an

6:11

hour. You have to commit to

6:13

it. You got to commit. And you watch an

6:15

hour of comedy,

6:16

you want to take a break.

6:19

You're in your house. You're like, I feel like I'm going to get

6:21

a sandwich and then I'll come back to this. That kind of

6:23

thing. But I think the half an hour is doable.

6:25

I think a half hour is so doable and it

6:29

makes you want more.

6:30

I hope so. What jokes

6:33

is your owl joke on that?

6:34

You know what? I got a couple

6:36

of different owl jokes. So one of

6:39

them is, it was

6:41

also like I was working with Louie Katz

6:43

and Ian Fidance and those guys told me all the time,

6:45

they're both headliners, but they go out on the road with me. And

6:48

they're bringing up old jokes that I don't even know how to

6:50

tell them anymore. And I'm like, you

6:52

know how it is, unless you keep

6:55

the reps going on the joke, it becomes like a whole

6:57

like just babble. I don't remember how jokes start

6:59

sometimes. Really? So I'm going to go like, hey, tell

7:02

the joke about a island, the deodorant,

7:04

the refrigerator. And

7:04

I go, yeah, I know the joke, but I

7:07

don't know how to get into it.

7:08

Yeah, because everything was always

7:10

everything. By the time I tell them special, everything's

7:13

so married to the thing before it that I

7:15

go that I don't remember if I don't remember that. If you

7:17

told me the end of the first joke, I can tell you the beginning

7:19

of the second joke.

7:20

But I don't know how the joke just starts. Well, with

7:22

this story too, it's like, you know, there's art,

7:25

the storytelling. I don't know that art, but

7:27

there is definitely the locking them in. And I've

7:29

seen you do it. And I've seen you do it in

7:31

the middle of a windy baseball field, which is not

7:33

easy. I don't think Mark Twain ever

7:35

did that. You know, I don't think Mark Twain ever played

7:38

the venues you played on those tours. So,

7:41

you know, you're really good at that. So don't, you know,

7:43

like, don't think like, you know, hey, you know, it's

7:45

like, you know, I need more this or that.

7:47

It's like, you know what you're doing. And, you know,

7:50

let's face it, the crowd comes to see it. What did

7:52

you kid? Can you, did you ever think

7:54

standup comedy would be where it is today with

7:57

that's a great question, man, of

7:59

interpretation. of how big it is. That

8:02

and how almost like how

8:04

much you have to be like a

8:06

producer to be a comedian

8:08

these days. You have to be, I mean, when I started,

8:11

when I started it was just,

8:13

I didn't even know dudes did the rote.

8:16

Really? Honestly, I thought you moved to New York,

8:18

you did stand up out of New York, and then

8:20

you just became great, and then you could

8:22

do some corporates, or you do a sitcom, but

8:24

I didn't know, I didn't know there was like a whole bunch

8:27

of funny bones. I didn't know about that.

8:29

And now I look at it and I go,

8:31

it's gotten so different. It's

8:33

unrecognizable almost. I totally

8:36

agree. That's really, you know, we could

8:38

talk about that for not hours,

8:40

but at least for this hour. Yeah. But

8:43

yeah, like comedy is so different

8:45

from when I started. It's not like just another old man

8:48

talking, but I never knew it would be so,

8:51

first of all, it's very relevant. And

8:53

like I never, I'm not, I haven't been

8:55

relevant in like 20 years, but I feel like everybody

8:58

has a point, and like there's

9:00

a lot of different ways that

9:03

comedy kind of intersects now with

9:06

the times we live in, which

9:08

I guess is good. For me, I'm always just about

9:10

the joke, the funny and all that. But for,

9:13

I guess the audiences now kind of expect

9:16

that, that there's gonna be a point to it or like

9:18

a meaning. And like, to

9:20

me, that is the tiresome element

9:22

of it of where like people are always reading too

9:25

hard to get to jokes. But in terms of like

9:27

the business of comedy, like when I started,

9:29

all I wanted to do was get on the road. I thought that's

9:31

what being a comic was, being like a road national

9:34

headliner, like that was the end game of it. Like

9:36

the people I kind of looked up to, like Richard

9:39

Jenny or, you know, some

9:41

of these other, like just like power headliners

9:44

were out on the road, like, you know, playing,

9:46

you know, exotic places like Atlanta,

9:48

you know, I'm from Long Island. So, you know, it's like, I'm gonna be

9:50

in Atlanta, you know, I'm gonna be in Kansas City,

9:53

Missouri. And I was like, whoa, dude, I want to get, so

9:55

that was what I was open to do. But

9:58

the sitcom thing was there also, cause Seinfeld

10:00

was big and

10:02

all the comics looked at like, it's only a matter of

10:05

time till I get my sitcom. And you realize how

10:07

special that situation was, the

10:09

combination of Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld

10:11

together, and that that doesn't happen all the time.

10:14

So a lot of these guys moved

10:16

out to LA and they kind of just basically

10:18

spin their wheels, you

10:21

know what I'm saying? But for me, it was always about the

10:23

road. It was like trying to be like, you know, like

10:26

kennison or somebody like just out there like

10:28

power act kind of thing. As

10:30

a club comic, you know, there are always clubs,

10:32

but there never were as many clubs

10:34

as there are now. And then the

10:36

jump to theaters, like I never saw that. Like

10:39

I don't even remember going to

10:41

a theater show when I was a kid other than

10:44

Rodney Dangerfield, you know what I'm saying? Like seeing

10:46

him like in a Westbury Music Theater on Long

10:48

Island, you know, other than that, it was really just

10:50

like you'd see a guy at a club or something, you

10:52

know, or on TV, like HBO

10:54

or the Ha Network, you know, before Comedy Central.

10:56

But the actual thing that you

10:59

do and do really well is that, you

11:01

know, you got

11:03

it right away with content, you know, which is that

11:05

like, you know, the audience always wants more

11:08

and the stuff that you provide them is interesting and

11:10

funny and it gives them a peek into your world,

11:12

you know? So that to me is like when

11:15

you line up everything together, but in

11:17

terms of like seeing comedy, how like, you

11:19

know, these Megatores and of course Chappelle,

11:22

like, you know, who is the, I think, comic of

11:24

our generation, this guy breaking all attendance

11:27

records, you know, I'd always have the Hollywood Bowl, like

11:29

a Madison Square Garden, like just endless amounts

11:31

of shows like that. And like,

11:33

to me, I'm like, I never thought that this was, I would

11:35

live to see this kind of stuff. I mean, it's just

11:37

crazy

11:38

to think,

11:39

you know, how many comics are doing

11:42

theaters? Exactly. You and

11:44

Lewis and this. You guys saved the theater world.

11:46

That's what I think. Because before that, it was like,

11:49

oh wow, look who's here, Spyro Jaira,

11:51

you know, or like some other kind of like,

11:53

you know, oh, the Chinese

11:56

gymnasts are in town. They're coming to Tarrytown,

11:58

New York, you know,

11:59

That is crazy to think, that's

12:02

an actually real thing. That's right. This

12:04

comedy, because comedy is super cheap

12:06

to produce.

12:07

Exactly. All you need is a mic and a stool.

12:10

Yes. And that's it. And there's

12:12

so many comics doing theaters that I'm,

12:15

I remember when I got the offer to do theaters, I remember talking

12:17

to you about, when you were talking, we were talking about theaters. Yeah.

12:20

And I remember being like, I just would rather stay in clubs. I

12:22

was like, when I first got the offer, I was like,

12:25

it doesn't make sense, you might lose money. You

12:28

got a promoter now involved. It was so

12:30

much easier when you just got your door deal. There

12:33

was no fear of not making that

12:35

money back. You just had a door deal. You get 80% of the

12:37

doors, 60% of the door.

12:39

And now it's, I mean, now

12:42

arenas. I mean, that's... Yeah,

12:44

it's an arena. It's arenas.

12:47

It's also like really cool. I

12:50

still think to this day that like, even during the

12:52

pandemic, people tried it, which is the virtual comedy.

12:55

That didn't work. I don't think that that's

12:57

the future of it. I think it's the live show. Now

13:00

and always. So, and

13:03

do you feel comfortable like in an arena? Cause

13:05

that is like a whole different animal. Well, I just took

13:07

Fitzsimmons with me. Oh, he's great. He's

13:09

a good friend of mine. To do, yeah, to do, we

13:12

were doing something's burning and someone

13:14

fell out and we needed someone to

13:16

do the arena. We do Tampa,

13:19

Savannah, and Orlando. Oh,

13:21

cool. And so, and they

13:23

were, Orlando and Tampa, like the biggest, two

13:25

of the bigger ones I've ever done. And

13:27

I told Greg, I said, you should,

13:30

I was like, are you free next weekend?

13:32

He was like, yeah. I go, let's go. And

13:35

it's so big in scope of all

13:37

of it because you realize you are,

13:40

there is, you're a,

13:42

like a pro athlete. You enter in

13:44

a different way. They have catering set up for you. You

13:46

have massage therapists if you want them.

13:49

You have the access to the gym.

13:51

But I spent extra on this tour and

13:53

I think we'll have it for fully loaded to have

13:55

a full

13:56

production crew there. So I have

13:58

a crew of like 12.

13:59

a production manager who make a stage,

14:02

put up huge, I

14:06

travel with my own, I travel with three

14:08

semis and then two tour buses. And

14:11

you really feel the difference

14:14

in intimacy because we have a light

14:16

package that creates boundaries.

14:18

So it puts a roof on it. I understand,

14:21

yeah. And then we have two huge

14:23

screens that are full-size body screens

14:25

in vertical. And so Greg

14:28

got off and he was like, I

14:31

go, it feels intimate. And it is a big

14:33

arena, but there is an intimacy to it,

14:36

especially when you add production and you get the sound

14:38

dialed in. Yeah. It really,

14:41

but I love them. I

14:43

fucking love them. Cool. Well,

14:46

you look comfortable doing them. It

14:49

seems like that's your house. So it's great that

14:51

you do, like for us,

14:53

for the club guy getting into the arena,

14:55

like I've done ones like, I think we've all done

14:57

the circle in the round, all

15:00

those different variations on the arena,

15:03

theater, big venue

15:05

thing. And

15:08

I guess my funny story is that, doing

15:11

circle in the round is great if you sell out.

15:13

Otherwise, you're telling a joke and

15:15

then you do the punchline to no one. So

15:17

you gotta time it where there's all these empty

15:20

seats or there's one super fan

15:22

or just weird, weird dude sitting

15:24

there where it's like, and that's what

15:26

my mother said. And he's like, you have a conversation

15:29

with this one weirdo basically. But

15:31

I would say that you're,

15:33

like you know me

15:35

and you kind of know what my weird

15:38

shit is, is that, I like it when it's

15:40

weird. I like it when it's like, that's why like when we did

15:42

the baseball field, I was like, oh, this is my,

15:44

I love this. This is like weird. It's

15:47

kind of like, you know, you see in all these like, these

15:50

like kind of a little, it's a little too

15:52

chilly, plus I don't think they've been out in a while,

15:54

you gotta look to their like little pasty, it's

15:56

Rochester, right? What's the matter? Yeah,

15:59

it's Rochester.

15:59

This is kind of my world. I like it like

16:02

this. It was Father's Day. I think Georgia was with us.

16:04

And Georgia, I was me,

16:06

Georgia, and Big J watching you. Well,

16:09

Jay's another, like, you know, I think he's one

16:11

of a kind. He's a one of a kind. Yeah. And

16:15

Georgia, you were

16:18

doing crowd work but using the backdrop

16:20

of the city. Yeah.

16:21

If you remember it, but there was a community college that

16:23

was behind us. Right. You were like, oh,

16:25

looks like someone went to, and Georgia

16:28

turns around and Jay goes, wait, what?

16:30

And Georgia goes, dad, is he using the city?

16:32

And I said, yeah. And

16:35

she goes, Jay goes, he's, and you go, oh, if you didn't

16:37

like that one, pray to the cross, the glowing

16:39

cross up on the mountains on the left. But

16:42

he was like, that was, you're right. That is fun to watch

16:44

you in a different environment. It's almost like it

16:46

distracts you from your jokes and it

16:48

allows you to play in the thing. It was

16:51

really fun. It keeps it interesting for me because

16:53

that's really the whole thing of like doing it.

16:55

Like, now I've been doing it for like over 30

16:58

years is that like, it's got to be interesting.

17:00

That's why I keep changing up these jokes, like

17:02

different punch

17:03

lines and setups and all this stuff. But at the end of

17:05

the day, like, I had somebody I go

17:07

like, you know, I'm putting some tape down. Can you listen

17:09

to my old stuff? Because I can't. And it's like, I

17:11

have the same, like, you know, it's like vibrators.

17:15

What's porn strip club, you know, it's always like

17:17

the same topics, you know, and I'm like,

17:19

damn, I got to get out there and, you know, like learn

17:21

how to sell or something, you know, I need something

17:23

to mix this up. But I would say at the

17:26

at the end of the day, when you do

17:28

the venue and how well you treat the acts that you

17:30

bring with you, that's like the gold standard.

17:33

And I'm not

17:33

just saying it because like, I'm in your semi finished house

17:36

here. And I'm talking to you, I'm saying like, I

17:38

told everybody, I go like, you know, I've been on a bunch

17:40

of tours, you know, I've done like, you know,

17:43

tours on my own and all that different stuff. But

17:45

what you you go above and beyond to make everyone

17:47

feel as though they are the headliner and

17:49

also like to make it fun, you know, and

17:52

I know there was there was so many different types

17:54

of comics on it, which I thought was really a great way

17:56

to like, you know, get a get

17:58

a bigger audience, you know,

17:59

give a bit of whatever.

18:02

And there were people that I've never seen before. So it was

18:04

great to get a chance to watch them. But at the end

18:06

of the day, it was really just about like, you know, having

18:08

fun with bird. And I figured that's when I told

18:11

you, I go like, you should have like your own summer Olympics

18:13

or something, you know, like you should do something where you

18:15

go like from town to town and have challenges. You

18:17

know? I would enjoy that so much. I know you would.

18:19

I would love that. So it's for

18:22

me, it was, it,

18:23

when, so when we started, it was really Leanne.

18:27

Leanne was like, we started

18:29

to do fully loaded and she said, oh,

18:34

whatever money that we're supposed to get

18:37

from our, from the door to like

18:39

whatever

18:40

money we pull in from tickets, she just put

18:42

that back in the festival. And she goes,

18:44

and

18:45

she was like, just make it, like think, how

18:47

would you like it? Like if you were on the tour, would you like?

18:49

And I was like, oh, I know what I'd like. And I started saying

18:52

it. And I think Leanne looked at it and

18:54

she was like, the one thing she loved is the

18:56

gift baskets. Cause

18:58

she knows that just how much a little thing,

19:01

a little acknowledgement means when you're a comic. Oh,

19:03

for sure. It's like the littlest thing means so much.

19:06

And so, so she said, well

19:08

then don't worry. We don't need to make money on this festival.

19:10

We can just invest

19:12

whatever money we're supposed to make and put it back in the festival

19:15

and make it fun for the comics. And she was like, and

19:17

she goes, I think there's good will in,

19:19

you know, when I started, and this

19:21

is something that's changed in comedy a lot. Like no

19:24

one wanted to, everyone

19:26

wanted to be the funniest comic. And

19:28

I think it's changed. Now everyone just loves great

19:30

comics. You know, like everyone. You

19:33

mean the comics themselves? The comics.

19:36

Like I think everyone wanted to be the star. And I think it's changed

19:38

a little bit in that

19:41

it's, and I think it's because of podcasting

19:44

is that when you have funny people on your podcast,

19:46

it helps you. Right. So I think

19:48

like, what was it? The tide raises all boats. True.

19:51

And that was my favorite part. I mean, my favorite part of that whole

19:53

festival was sitting with Georgia,

19:55

getting to watch you and big J and

19:58

fucking Shane Gillis. And I mean,

19:59

to watch Georgia laugh as Shane Gillis,

20:02

she's not supposed to like him. She is not

20:04

supposed to like a semi-QAnon

20:08

alt-right. Well,

20:10

he's also a great comic and he also like, you

20:12

know, when you think of it, like I'm

20:15

trying to think of the movie

20:16

that would be where a guy was like,

20:18

you know, many twists and turns of comedies, the highs

20:20

and lows, he's kind of the Lucas, you know what I'm

20:22

saying? Like where he like, you know, kind of had

20:24

like a, you know, a rough start,

20:26

but now he found his audience and they

20:28

can't get enough of the guy. And you know, I've seen him

20:31

work in the city and I've tried to like, like

20:33

I do with all the comics, engage

20:35

with them like either on stage and like, like

20:37

when I mix it up with Jeff Ross, you

20:39

know, we do the bumping mics thing. It's not like we

20:42

just do that for the tour. We started doing that in

20:44

clubs and I do it with other comics as

20:46

well. Like we always like want to include everybody

20:48

and like, you know, get them up there for like, you

20:50

know, a couple of minutes or whatever and just, you

20:53

know, rail and riff and all that kind of

20:55

stuff. That's the fun of, that keeps my

20:57

brain working, that kind of stuff. But with

20:59

Shane, you know, he's like, you know, he's so

21:01

like, I guess you could say like he's locked

21:03

in, you know,

21:04

and I'm trying to like, kind of like, you know, get out of it,

21:06

you know, come on, have a moment,

21:08

have some fun. But I would say that

21:11

he's just getting started. There's a lot of guys now

21:13

that like,

21:13

I think because of the world we live in, where

21:16

even if the main platforms don't

21:19

get it, that

21:22

the audience will bring them to a point where like they'll be undeniable,

21:24

you know? Yeah. So that's

21:26

like a whole other conversation, in terms of

21:28

what you do and these venues and these tours and

21:31

things like that. It's like, remember years

21:33

ago, like, you know, you go to Just for Laughs,

21:35

you know, it's like, hey, I'm going to be there for 10 days.

21:37

I don't even know how to pack for 10 days. And

21:40

like, you know, it's like jugglers and drinking and

21:42

all that kind of stuff. And they

21:43

speak a weird language. What's that? And

21:45

that became like, you know, the like

21:48

festival. Now I'm like, I've been to Skankfest.

21:51

That was great. That was great. You

21:53

couldn't answer better crowds. It was like,

21:55

these people waiting in the sun and

21:57

if you look at them, you're like, what are they waiting

21:59

for? You know, it's like it looks like

22:02

a methadone line, but they're super fans,

22:04

super polite. Even the guy who ran the venue,

22:07

and that's Jay and Christine, you

22:09

know, that's their thing with Luis Gomez and

22:11

the whole Legion of Skank people,

22:14

they know comedy, they respect

22:16

it, and almost they respect it a little too much.

22:19

You know, they'll stand for show after show after

22:21

show. I've never seen anything like that. In the heat, waiting

22:23

online, it was really kind of like, what's up

22:25

with this, you know? And they're legit comedy fans. They

22:28

are like the super fans.

22:30

When do you think comedy fans showed up? Because

22:33

like

22:34

when you, when I moved to New York, I moved to New York in 1997, I

22:36

think, 1998,

22:39

I don't know, you'd

22:41

get the odd guy that went to NYU that

22:43

loved comedy,

22:44

but you didn't have like comedy fans the way

22:46

you have comedy fans now. I

22:48

totally agree with that. Like, I'm trying to think of

22:50

it because you just kind of activated something by saying

22:52

that. It's like every show was

22:55

like a

22:56

kind of good show on a Friday

22:58

where like the lot of couples, there's

23:00

a bunch of guys drinking. There's some guys

23:02

who were kicked out of a strip club. Now they're there. One

23:04

guy's going crazy in the wild. Yeah, and then there

23:06

was that one comedy fan. You know, the guy who

23:08

like, you know, I've listened to every album that, you

23:10

know, Robert Klein did and he would try and

23:12

engage with you about like, you know, comedy

23:15

theory and things like that. But other

23:17

than that, it was definitely more of a party.

23:20

Like, you know, it was like something you did. Like, you know,

23:22

next weekend you're gonna do something else, but like we went to a

23:24

comedy show. It's supposedly

23:26

hot. Maybe we'll see whatever the one

23:28

person they knew from television, you know, like whoever

23:31

else in SNL. Like if Kevin J.M. came in or if

23:33

like Ray Marano stepped in, it

23:35

was such a, they'd be like, oh, I know that guy.

23:38

For sure, especially out West Coast because there's so

23:40

many big names this way, you know? But

23:42

like, I would say, I don't know. I

23:45

think it was definitely

23:47

after 9-11. I don't know. I think

23:49

it was like further into the 2000s. It

23:52

was definitely not in the 90s. It wasn't like that.

23:54

It

23:55

was like one of those things

23:57

where maybe the platforms.

23:59

like Twitter

24:02

and stuff like that also helped build that. And

24:04

like you said, the podcast thing.

24:05

It was crazy because it's

24:09

the funnest thing to like, I

24:11

remember people going to my

24:14

show back in the, like right when I first started

24:16

selling tickets and it felt like comedy was

24:18

becoming popular because of the podcast maybe. And

24:21

someone's like, you're my favorite

24:23

comic. And I was like, who else do you like? And they're

24:25

like, well, you're the only one I've seen. And I went,

24:27

oh, wow. Yeah, that's- You don't realize

24:29

what's out there. There's so much better. I

24:31

was like, don't go see Bill Burr. Well,

24:34

isn't it funny how like, I always ask the same

24:37

thing because when I'm on the merch line and I go, who

24:39

else have you seen? And they know a bunch. And

24:41

then there's also like, you know,

24:43

they're not so rare, but the one that always makes

24:45

me excited, the Doug Stanhope fan, which is like,

24:48

I saw Doug and this kind of stuff. So I immediately

24:51

bring them up another notch of like comedy

24:53

fan. And there's a couple of people out there

24:55

that are really, you know, to be

24:57

honest,

24:58

when I know they're coming to every show at a weekend,

25:01

like they'll go, I'll be back tomorrow. You're

25:03

like, okay, I gotta mix it up again. What

25:05

do I gotta do? I gotta come up with some other bits.

25:07

This happened to me this weekend. The guy goes,

25:10

I wrote a joke about, I wrote one joke

25:12

about Winnipeg. One fucking joke.

25:15

I apologize to anyone in Winnipeg.

25:17

And I'm sure someone's written

25:19

this. I'm sure this joke's been done. What,

25:21

Winnipeg? No, no, no. That joke, goldmine?

25:25

No. I

25:27

said Winnipeg

25:28

is a little bit of a depressing place. I saw

25:30

a snowman with a hairdryer to his head. And

25:34

this, I did it. I'd just been

25:36

to Winnipeg. I couldn't tell Winnipeg. I'm now in

25:38

Calgary. I do it on the first show, it gets

25:41

a laugh.

25:41

And then I do it on the second show. The guy goes, you already did that

25:43

joke. Oh shit. And I went, and

25:46

now I'm like, wait, did I, have

25:48

I told that twice this show? And

25:49

he was like, no, the other show, do more new stuff.

25:52

And I was like, I wanted to go, buddy, that's not how it works. I

25:56

don't do the show based on what you've seen. So

25:59

like, they haven't.

25:59

They weren't at the first show. Yeah, really?

26:02

Yeah, but then I'm in my head going

26:04

like, oh my God, I gotta put

26:06

some new stuff up here. And so I started

26:08

adding stuff, but

26:11

I'm hyper aware of that one guy

26:13

who's a diehard who comes

26:15

to both shows. It gets in your head. Yeah, it really

26:17

affects it, it does. But I

26:20

think that's a good joke, I like that. It was,

26:22

what's your call, the

26:25

other thing is when you see the front row and they're not laughing

26:28

at all,

26:29

what's with these people? They paid extra money to be that

26:31

close, didn't they? How am I not, whatever.

26:35

And then you engage with them and it becomes

26:37

this whole thing of like, I have to start

26:39

kind of riffing with them and everything like that.

26:41

And they kind of put their head down and everything. And I'm like,

26:45

why did that happen? And they're the ones after

26:47

the show, I've seen you in the

26:49

lame like 10 cities and I've traveled

26:51

to see you and this kind of stuff. And you're like, wow. So

26:54

they just, it's almost like they want it. I

26:57

hate to say it, but like a call to prayer. Like

26:59

they just sit there and they're like, hmm,

27:02

yes, and now he's gonna say something

27:04

about cantaloupe. I don't

27:06

know.

27:08

But yeah, hey, the

27:11

one thing that I do like about you is that you engage

27:13

with the crowd. A lot of these guys, it's like, this

27:15

is a performance piece and like, you

27:17

just happen to be here. And there's a lot of specials

27:20

like that too now, which is like, oh, there's an audience

27:22

here, okay. But it's really about

27:24

their truth or whatever they're talking about.

27:27

Yeah, I don't,

27:29

whatever need that I need, I'm doing

27:32

it for whatever need I have to fill.

27:34

So like, I feel like sometimes it's,

27:37

I said to Fitzsimmons and Savannah,

27:40

it sounds so silly, I said, I'm jealous.

27:43

I'm jealous of them. Cause I would love

27:45

to be with my wife and

27:47

be excited for my thing and be going to

27:49

see my thing. Like how much fun-

27:52

You mean like the, you see it from their

27:54

point of view. I see it from their point of view and I go, I

27:56

love going to, I love going to a baseball stadium.

27:58

I love getting hot dogs.

27:59

I love going to football games, I love all of that.

28:02

And I feel like,

28:04

when you start off as

28:06

a football player, I use football as an example, you're

28:08

a fan of football, you love going to football games. And

28:10

then one day you're no longer at the football games, you are

28:12

the football game. And I think I loved comedy

28:14

so much, I loved

28:16

going back in the back of the cellar and being

28:18

anonymous and just sitting at that back

28:20

table watching my favorite comics

28:22

go up. I mean, I remember, I remember,

28:25

I

28:27

mean, just so much of like

28:29

being a fan of comedy that

28:32

I go, I would love to

28:34

be able to have my night with my

28:37

wife by like five tickets go, I'm gonna be about

28:39

to introduce you to my favorite comic. And I think that's what I get to do

28:41

with Fully Loaded is feel

28:43

like I sit in the back and I just watch everyone do standup.

28:45

Nikki Glaser took her shirt off and did a topless last

28:48

year. And yeah, she goes, fuck

28:50

it. She ripped her top off. And she was like, and

28:53

Georgia and the girls are losing. And it's fun to have the girls. That's

28:55

great. Nikki's fucking awesome. Yeah, she's

28:58

another person I feel like the venue,

29:00

like the theater and like the,

29:02

whatchamacallit, like it just

29:04

takes

29:04

it to the next level with Nikki. I think so too. You

29:07

knew who's coming out this year with us? Lewis Black. Oh,

29:09

that's awesome. See, I toured with Lewis and Mitch

29:11

Hedberg years and years ago. And like

29:14

the one person on that tour who

29:16

really knew how to work a theater was

29:18

Lewis Black. And since that tour,

29:20

he's been out on the road. You know, he

29:22

is the, he is like, when I look to like

29:24

who tours, it's like Lewis is always

29:27

out there, you know? And he

29:29

was the one guy who like knew how to work a theater

29:31

because it's so different than a club. And like, you

29:33

know, when you're a joke guy,

29:34

especially like you throwing jokes out

29:36

there and you're hoping to like kind of hear the

29:39

same wave coming back at you. Like

29:41

it doesn't happen all the time. Sometimes you're just up there

29:44

like, you know, basically trying to

29:46

like lock them in and like move forward

29:48

and all that kind of stuff. For me, you

29:50

know, that's why the club is so good because it's immediate,

29:52

you know? And I guess that spoils you. But

29:55

for you, I was gonna say, you know,

29:58

when I think of the crowd,

29:59

that come down, especially the commie seller,

30:02

like, you know, I don't know, how long did you live

30:04

in New York? A year. Okay, well,

30:06

you probably got out, you probably got out when the going was

30:08

good, because right now it's a filthy mess over

30:11

there, but the seller is huge.

30:14

And like, there's people that come from all

30:16

over, and there's people who actually come

30:18

in with their rolling bags right from the airport. For

30:20

real. And they're like sitting there, and they're like,

30:22

you know, they wanted it, they heard

30:25

about it, or they're meeting friends there, and this is

30:27

like the big event of their trip. And then

30:29

there's some locals, but you see less

30:31

and less locals now. But the New York

30:33

commie scene is strong, and it's good

30:35

for guys like me, who

30:37

like, you know, I'm already

30:39

a seasoned comic, and the new people, plenty

30:41

open mics, seems to be a lot of stage time

30:44

there for people. In terms of like crowd,

30:46

I would say that the seller has become

30:49

more and more, you know, I don't want to use the word woke,

30:51

but it definitely is sensitive. Oh, for real. Where

30:53

you're like, these things should be kicking it in New York.

30:56

I'm like, you know, I did this joke in Iowa,

30:59

and it was like, you know, huge, or I did it in Richmond,

31:01

Virginia, or something like that. And then in New York, you could

31:03

see just the tinge of like, you know, we

31:05

know this is inappropriate, which kind

31:07

of sucks for me, since I play there pretty much every

31:09

night, I'm not on the road. So I'm like, you know,

31:12

what am I doing here? I get that a lot. I like to go

31:14

on last. So I'm not like,

31:16

you know, can I say a cock block on anybody else?

31:18

I'm not getting in anyone's way. So if

31:20

I totally make it a mess, you know, it's like, if

31:23

there's skid marks, if there's a skid mark on the

31:25

bed, it's mine. That's

31:27

what I like to say. You know, it's like, well, how'd this happen? So I'm the

31:29

guy who ruins it. You know, that's why I like to go on

31:31

at the end. It also is really getting harder

31:33

and harder to follow the new comics. I don't know if you're having

31:36

this when you do like showcases. So it's like, it

31:38

helps me step up the game. I was wondering,

31:40

I was wondering, because this is gonna sound silly.

31:42

I'm sure it's

31:44

good that we have all the construction going on now. I

31:46

think it adds a sense of urgency. I

31:50

still get nervous to bomb in front of

31:52

people. Because it's not your crowd. That's

31:54

what it is. And so I go. Well,

31:57

I'll show you how to do it, Bert. When do you want

31:59

me to meet you in New York?

31:59

But it's

32:02

like how what percentage of new stuff are

32:04

you trying a night? I would say that,

32:07

you know, although the last month has

32:09

been trying to get my stuff together. And I

32:11

really, you know, to be honest, like I'm

32:14

super critical and I really am like, I think,

32:17

but I don't really like anything I do. But

32:19

I was like, you know, I don't think I did some of these jokes

32:21

right. And I really feel like they're like my little

32:23

like children and everything like that. So I'm like, I'm

32:25

at least hoping the jokes look good. The actual special

32:27

together, like who knows, it might be all over the place,

32:30

but the actual like putting them all together.

32:32

I hope that

32:32

looks okay for the audience and also

32:34

just for all the people that are going to be like, it's

32:36

gonna be a lot of editing. I mean, even though it's two shows, it

32:39

always turns into editing and stuff like that. But I

32:41

was gonna say for you that like,

32:43

you know,

32:44

the the wave of them

32:46

being so excited to see you is one

32:48

thing. And I've seen Chris Rock work his

32:50

stuff out there. And this guy really does

32:53

the homework. I mean, like, Chris really

32:55

goes out when he's about to like go on tour

32:57

or like he just did that streaming thing, which is probably

32:59

something that a guy like you should do. I'm

33:02

not as good as Chris. I'm like, I couldn't I couldn't

33:04

do just one show. Like, okay. Well,

33:06

like I actually am the exact opposite

33:08

of Chris is that

33:10

if you I can

33:11

always have a good show. But

33:13

but I think I noticed fuck ups in my show that

33:16

I wouldn't want. Yes, I

33:18

do for shows

33:19

like I take the best shows. Yeah, because I want to make

33:21

sure I have it. See, I wish I had

33:23

another two that would have been really good for me, but could

33:25

only afford to instead of

33:28

four. But tell me, tell me, is the sweet

33:30

spot. Tell me when you're ready for the next one and I'll produce

33:32

it and I'll pay for it. Because I fucking I

33:34

as I'm not even fucking around.

33:36

I were doing that

33:38

with Shane Torres. Leanne loves Shane Torres.

33:40

I love Shane Torres. Shane's great. And

33:42

last night. Yeah, he wanted to do a

33:45

special

33:46

and and Leanne was like,

33:47

was like and I'm just

33:50

the way the finances were working out.

33:51

It didn't seem like Shane was going to own it. And

33:54

Leanne's like, I ain't letting that happen.

33:56

She was like, we'll pay for it. And I was like, what? She

33:58

goes, I'll pay for it.

34:00

Wow, it's like okay, and so we're making his next

34:02

week in Brooklyn

34:03

This reminds

34:05

me of Apple records a lot

34:08

of good intentions. Yeah, get a good accountant

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35:52

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35:55

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35:58

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35:59

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36:02

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36:43

slash Burt. When you

36:45

do the 30 minutes, do you have a,

36:47

do you have a way that, are you thinking of

36:49

what joke next, what joke next,

36:50

what joke next? Well, you know what, me, it's

36:53

mostly the wardrobe tells the story. No,

36:56

I really don't know. It's like, I just, I- Did you

36:58

know what jokes you wanted to put in this set? Well,

37:01

I had the jokes that I wanted to, like, okay, I'm kind

37:03

of done telling them. And then, you

37:05

know, I don't know if you have the same problem where

37:07

it's like, you know, you tell a joke and it's like,

37:09

hey, that's funny, and then something happens in the news, and

37:11

now it's like, hate speech, you know, it's

37:14

a manifesto, it's like, you know,

37:16

whatever, like, why would you

37:18

even think that when this happened? So,

37:20

you know, it's like, all my train derailment

37:22

stuff gone. You know, that kind of thing, like, it's

37:25

like, wow, whoa,

37:27

man, you know, it's like, there

37:29

goes 10 minutes. So I would say,

37:31

since most of your stuff is personal and family,

37:34

you know, I think that the crowd loves

37:37

a peek on the inside of the business. To

37:39

me, personally, I'm not that good about like, you know, hey,

37:41

this is what's happening when I'm not on set, you know, all that kind

37:43

of stuff. But for you, you've already done that, you

37:45

know, with the family and everything like that, so keep that coming.

37:48

The other thing would be like, coming up with material, talk

37:50

to them and

37:50

go like, you know, it's not easy. It's not

37:53

easy about coming up with material. A lot of people are like,

37:55

hey, well, just go out and you know, like, whatever,

37:57

buy a car, tell us about it. And it's like a lot.

37:59

more difficult than that. So I think

38:02

that they also would respect that. They're like, you know,

38:04

hey, you know what? I'm always trying to bring new stuff to you guys.

38:06

But for the special, and I know the special,

38:09

we still all consider it special. Even

38:11

though it seems like some people put them out

38:13

every six months or something like that, it still is like

38:15

for us. Like doing HBO was a big deal

38:17

for me. And like, you know, that's

38:20

what I thought was the end game of comedy, which is

38:22

like, you're an HBO comic, you

38:24

know, you're like with Carlin and all that kind of stuff. It's like,

38:26

I'm nowhere near any of that stuff. After

38:28

the one HBO thing I did, I was like, wow.

38:31

Oh man, was that tough. It was not to my

38:33

crowd. It was like one of those things

38:35

of like, you know, they just kind of threw you

38:37

up there and like double teamed you. It was like me

38:39

and Norton, who was a great comic too, Jim Norton.

38:42

And I was like,

38:43

man, that didn't feel good to me. You

38:45

know, it's like, I thought these were supposed to be like a victory lap.

38:47

That was almost like an audition for an hour, you know?

38:50

So I would say for you, why

38:52

don't you just start writing down

38:54

like, you know, like the things you

38:56

want to talk about and then try and ease

38:58

them into what you're doing already. And then

39:00

when you do these like 20 minute sets, then you'll

39:02

be able to see it clearer, more clearly.

39:05

Cause listening to a 20 minute set is

39:07

way better than listening to like an hour.

39:09

Like when I'm on the road and I listen to the hours

39:11

and I'm like, oh my God, how much more time, many

39:13

times I have to hear that one. And like, you know,

39:16

this is like, just like distraction, you

39:18

know?

39:19

Yeah. But don't be so hard on yourself. You'll

39:21

definitely have, have a,

39:24

I mean, you control all parts of it.

39:27

So if it's not, if it's not

39:29

where you want it, you'll edit it. And if it's

39:31

a whatever, then you should, you know, just

39:34

basically give yourself a break and like try

39:36

and get it the way you want it before you even get there. You know?

39:39

I feel like, I feel like I wish I was better at writing

39:42

shorter jokes. Yeah.

39:44

Because I feel I would look, I think they, I think they're

39:46

so valuable. I think so many

39:49

people these days I look at it, I feel like everyone

39:51

wants to be a long form storyteller. And I think

39:53

Sugara and I were, I've talked about this.

39:55

There's nothing better than having something, getting in

39:57

and out, like just like a stabbing, like a, That's

40:00

what I do. Paper cuts, I call it. Paper cuts.

40:03

It's like death by a thousand paper cuts, but it

40:05

really is exhausting and it's also, they

40:07

all don't fit together.

40:09

And I think that the crowd, like,

40:11

you know, the

40:13

crowd loves,

40:15

oh, well, here's something, you know, like a third,

40:17

third person kind of story where somebody came up

40:19

to me and they were like thinking of doing comedy

40:22

and like, you know, I'm also a, you

40:24

know, public speaker or something like that. And

40:26

I was like being supportive, like it's supposed to be for new comics.

40:29

And at some point in the conversation to go like jokes

40:31

permitted or over. And I

40:33

said like, well, I've never heard a crowd

40:35

go like, you know what, leaving go like too

40:38

many jokes. I was laughing

40:40

too much. And you know, like we're both

40:42

right, because in today's world of comedy,

40:45

like you can watch a special and laugh five

40:47

times. Like the rest of it is really about

40:49

like stories and like things they want to say.

40:52

Whereas I think we kind of grew up with the idea of

40:54

like,

40:55

you know, where the laughs, you know, like, and

40:57

you almost feel like, you know, a caveman saying

40:59

that now, like, but where are the laughs? And when

41:01

I did when I did Secret Time, I

41:03

literally

41:04

was

41:05

thinking to myself because I was just so

41:07

I would watch other specials. And

41:09

I, I feel like if you're not, I feel like there's not enough people

41:11

critical of themselves these days.

41:13

I feel like I feel like everything's been

41:15

when I started, everyone

41:18

was very critical of how they did. Yeah.

41:22

And all of us would be like, like,

41:24

he's he's didn't see the same fight I saw. Well,

41:27

I, I agree with that. And I also think that

41:29

like, as a guy who who actively

41:31

hates himself, that I don't know how these people

41:34

go on stage and and basically

41:37

leave with such confidence after after

41:39

after like, you

41:41

know, like, whatever they're doing. And I'm like, well,

41:44

you know, there's some great ideas there or like,

41:46

some of that stuff needs like to like

41:49

a tune up, you know, needs to be tweaked. And

41:51

they're like, no, I got it. Like, that's that's what it is,

41:53

you know.

41:54

And a lot of it is like, you know, I guess

41:57

magical thinking, you know, I guess I think

42:00

I think back in the day

42:02

you had to have jokes to get a fan base, and

42:05

now you can get a fan base before you have jokes.

42:07

And so I think people go out and they'll sell the tickets,

42:09

and because they sold the tickets, they're like,

42:12

they're like, I'm selling tickets. That's what

42:14

matters. I think I started

42:17

at a time when you would be funny, but you

42:19

could not sell a ticket. Well, I'll

42:21

take it even a step

42:22

further back, which is like back

42:25

when the club owners controlled and ruled

42:27

comedy where it was basically, and

42:30

people talk about who, the gatekeepers.

42:33

It's like some guy running in

42:36

an Italian restaurant with

42:39

a catering hall in the back, and he would turn into the comedy club

42:41

on the weekend, and he'd be like, he ain't funny.

42:44

I don't like that type of humor. My

42:46

crowd does it, whatever. That would be considered hate

42:48

speech now of like, what, you didn't get the fact

42:51

that this person is speaking for a marginalized

42:53

group and blah, blah, blah. They'd be like, whoa,

42:55

whoa, whoa, there'd be a picket. There'd be

42:57

people picking in the club. And then it was like,

43:00

I don't get it. And if my kitchen

43:02

guy doesn't laugh at it, it ain't funny. There'll

43:05

be all these guys who had what

43:07

they considered funny. They wanted to see a version

43:09

of whoever. We're

43:12

the props. I don't see a puppet. What's

43:14

going on out there? These people, they're paying good

43:16

money. They want to laugh. And that was

43:18

in your face. It wasn't like through a tweet.

43:21

It was you and him as guys were washing

43:24

dishes, going back and forth. You know what? Hey,

43:26

I'm sorry, it's not working out. You're just not that good.

43:29

How many bad Vegas shows have you ever done when it's

43:31

like the crowd's just sitting there, they're broke

43:33

losers. And the guy's like, you

43:35

know,

43:35

you couldn't get him going. I guess you don't got it. You

43:38

know what I'm saying? It was like one of those like,

43:40

okay. I used to do the, I used

43:42

to do shows on the old Vegas trip.

43:44

Yeah. You want to talk about

43:46

fucking down on their luck. They had a casino

43:49

in Stunt

43:50

Cedar Rapids in

43:52

Iowa, Davenport, Iowa called penguins.

43:56

Do you remember penguins? Yes, I do. And there was

43:58

a the casino

44:00

in there. And I remember seeing people

44:02

coming out of the casino. It was next door,

44:04

it was next door. People seeing,

44:06

and I remember looking at a casino going, what

44:09

in the world makes any of these people think they're

44:11

gonna find luck tonight? Like

44:13

they've never been lucky once in their lives.

44:16

And like, you're in a wheelchair,

44:18

you have diabetes, you got a fucking

44:22

steel lung next to you. And you think

44:24

tonight's gonna be the night to fuck. But

44:26

I

44:27

agree,

44:29

I remember an owner,

44:33

I won't say his name, but he was like,

44:36

yeah, I don't have, they were talking about Patrice.

44:38

And he's like, I'm not bringing a black guy. He didn't use the

44:40

word black guy. Really? Yeah, oh, yeah.

44:43

And he was like, no, no, because I don't

44:45

want that crowd here. Right, and I remember

44:47

another comic saying that he doesn't,

44:50

he's doesn't, he's not, you're

44:53

thinking he's Steve Harvey. He's not Steve Harvey,

44:55

he's just a great comic. And he

44:57

appeals to everyone, everyone shows

45:00

up. And he was like,

45:01

can you believe they tried to tell me to bring

45:03

Patrice in? And I was like, yeah, he's

45:05

fucking hilarious. Well, yeah, that was

45:07

another thing where like, you would go up against the bias

45:10

of the club owner. But

45:13

I always listen to the staff, and

45:16

I also listen to the club owners, because they, especially

45:19

during the pandemic, they really took a beating. I mean, it was

45:21

like, when you think about like what we do, it's like,

45:23

you know, hey, you know, it was terrible. You

45:26

know, I got bills, my mom has dementia, I have to pay

45:28

round clock care. And I was getting nervous,

45:30

but I was like,

45:31

you know, I talked to these club guys, the guys who

45:33

are in the club, and they're like, you know, I'm trying to take care of

45:35

my staff, you know? Like,

45:37

I'll name a name, Alison in DC,

45:39

DC and probably, which is probably my

45:41

best market and my best room.

45:44

There's a couple around the country where it's just like, those

45:46

are like still my hubs, you know what I'm saying? And

45:48

like, she's great, and she's an angel, and

45:50

her like going above and beyond

45:52

for her staff, during that year,

45:55

year and a half, two years, whatever it was, you

45:58

feel for them. And you go like, you know, Here

46:00

I am, I got like my responsibility, but to have

46:02

responsibility for so many, you know? And

46:05

to take it back to the fun, bad old days of

46:07

comedy, it would be like, you know, you would

46:09

follow a local, you know, let's

46:12

call him like, you know, basically a guy,

46:14

a hack, you know, and he would hit

46:17

all the numbers. And you're trying to be like, you

46:19

know, I started on Long Island in New York,

46:21

so there was definitely a, you know,

46:24

disconnect between the two, where it was like, what was

46:26

funny on Long Island was not particularly

46:28

funny in New York. Really? Yeah, it was like,

46:30

you know, like, first of all, like people knowing

46:32

that you lived in New York was like, whoa, what's

46:34

that about? You know, oh, hold on

46:37

a second, you know, I'm coming from Suffolk County

46:39

here. And like, you were following magicians,

46:41

you were following ventriloquists. It was basically

46:44

all the dark arts of comedy, you know, you're

46:46

following, like a guy would raise a

46:48

cat from the dead, you know, like all these

46:50

different things, get extending ovations,

46:53

you know, people would do lip syncing,

46:55

all that kind of stuff. And then you would be up there with your

46:57

New York jokes, you know, the subway

47:00

is, I don't go on the subway, I drive it, you

47:02

know, that kind of thing. So

47:03

I don't know, man, I feel like the hardening

47:06

of comedy, I'm so glad I went through all that, the hardening

47:08

of it. But now like, when you go into

47:10

these new rooms, it's like the different feel

47:13

to it, which is like, they're

47:14

so quiet, they're so basically

47:17

walled off. I'm talking about these younger crowds, where

47:19

they really have like, it's almost like an emotional

47:22

distance,

47:23

where, you know, you have teenage

47:26

children, right? So I assume that's like, when

47:28

you're like, trying to have like a teachable

47:30

moment with them, where they're just kind of like nodding, but

47:33

you know, they're not listening. And

47:35

they're always right.

47:36

Yeah. They're always right. For sure. That

47:38

was what was fun. And you know, last night,

47:41

randomly,

47:42

Isla asked if she could come

47:44

out and work in the Fertfully Loaded,

47:46

because Georgia did last year with her friends. For sure.

47:48

And Isla's like, can I come with a friend and we'll

47:51

work? And I was like, yeah, of course, because the

47:53

fun

47:54

thing is, and

47:57

Shane was the one that the first person they

47:59

saw was. They felt like they weren't supposed

48:01

to laugh. And they felt

48:04

guilty for laughing.

48:05

And it was his joke about,

48:10

I think it was about, I'm

48:14

not gonna, I think he's already told it somewhere about

48:16

him loving history and going to an old

48:19

antebellum mansion and interacting

48:22

with a black dude. And Georgia went like this.

48:24

And I went, don't hold your mouth, it's okay to laugh.

48:26

And she goes, well, no, dad, that's horrible.

48:28

And I went, yeah, but you see

48:31

the thing that happened when you started laughing, you're

48:33

laughing because it caught you off guard. And that's

48:36

an involuntary reaction. So don't

48:38

try to squash it,

48:40

let it happen. It really, I don't have kids,

48:43

but I could see how that really would get not

48:46

only annoying, but almost like, this is your business.

48:49

It fucking, yeah. And like, funny is my

48:51

business. And if my own kids don't

48:53

like get it, or don't wanna, or

48:55

I feel like there's something impeding them from

48:57

laughing, I could see how that would be really,

49:00

really hurtful. You know what I'm saying? Like it really must

49:02

emotionally touch you. And I said, listen,

49:06

Shane won't be for everyone. I'm not saying that

49:08

you and your girlfriends are gonna be big Shane Gillis fans,

49:11

but like you'll find your person that you like. And

49:13

then,

49:15

but I go, but if don't,

49:17

just because society tells

49:19

you

49:20

that what Shane's talking about is wrong, don't

49:22

stop from that laughter. If you're

49:24

starting to laugh, let it happen. And

49:26

then you went on and you

49:29

said, I

49:31

like a Harry Bush, do that joke.

49:33

I won't mind it. I wanted to do dirty, yeah. And

49:36

George and her friends fucking howled

49:39

laughing. And watching

49:41

you and then it was really cool because

49:43

I think she got it. She watched Big J

49:46

and Big J had made a joke about when

49:48

Demi Lovato and

49:51

fucking they laughed. And by the

49:53

end, I was like, fucking finally. But

49:56

I think all those kids are

49:59

being inundated.

49:59

with this is how, like acceptance

50:03

and this is how we need to treat each other and this

50:05

is like pronoun, like they all have their

50:07

pronouns everywhere. And if you say, like

50:10

we had a friend, a friend of ours, Sandy

50:12

was like, who's

50:14

Chinese and Vietnamese and she's like,

50:16

I don't get pronouns. And

50:18

then their kids light her up and they're

50:20

like, mom, mom, you can't say that. She's

50:23

like, I just don't get them. They really are doing that. That's not

50:25

like just something that like, you know, you hear about, like you

50:27

actually have to live that life. Yeah. Wow.

50:29

Yeah. And imagine like, you know,

50:32

my friend Sandy grew up in Boston

50:34

in the 70s. She was Chinese,

50:37

but from Vietnam, a Chinese immigrant from Vietnam

50:39

in Boston. Yeah. Imagine her

50:42

life was

50:42

brutal and to be explained to

50:45

by children is, and

50:47

Sandy's a good person. She'll like listen

50:49

and have a conversation with her kids. She's fucking

50:51

way better than me.

50:52

I wrote a joke about fucking Elliot Page

50:55

and Georgia just went, no.

50:56

I was like, you don't fucking tell me

50:58

no, George. I was like, this fucking

51:01

pays for all you like. If I want

51:03

to tell that joke, I'll tell that fucking joke. Well,

51:05

you know, I like

51:08

that you,

51:09

you're like having this, these moments

51:12

with them about like, you know, what is funny, whatever, but

51:14

it's also generational. It's like music

51:16

in a way. It's like what they grew up with is

51:19

what they're going to like think is, and then when

51:21

it changes, they're going to be like, what happened to that and

51:23

all that kind of stuff. It's like, in terms of this, I

51:25

first heard that Perry Farrell sucked a dude's dick.

51:27

I remember being like, like, so

51:29

this is my generation. I guess I gotta be cool with that. Yeah,

51:32

exactly. I'm like, you know,

51:34

the comedy, like I was thinking of like old red

51:36

fox stuff and how like, you know,

51:38

like this is like, this is like just for me

51:41

now, I guess, you know, like all those different things. And

51:43

people always bring up Carlin and Carlin

51:45

and Carlin and Carlin, but it's like, you know, to

51:47

be honest, like the Vegas Carlin,

51:49

the one that he said, I'm done with this. I'm

51:51

like, this guy was like a joke per minute machine.

51:54

He had bits. He was able to do all that kind of stuff. So

51:56

it's like, it's not like he

51:58

like said, you know, I'm never...

51:59

Like a lot of these, I think comics

52:02

that start out go like, I'm not gonna be that kind of guy. I'm gonna

52:04

be this thoughtful, I have stories

52:06

and I have a point. So, but it's like, you do have

52:08

to kind of learn a little bit of the craft in terms

52:10

of like, you know, how to write a joke, how to tell

52:12

a joke, how to work a crowd. All those things are kind

52:15

of like, in terms of what we do, that's part

52:17

of the job, you know? And I'm not telling anybody

52:19

like how to do their thing. Cause that's the one thing a comic

52:21

can never do is like, you do what you do buddy.

52:23

You know, like, who am I? Look where I

52:25

am. I'm a guy standing at a Holly

52:27

and express. All right, so whatever you think you

52:29

wanna do, do it. And the crowd will tell

52:32

you yes or no. But I think for the

52:34

younger kids, they have so many no's

52:36

in their head right now of like, you can't talk about this.

52:38

And I've seen it where I'm on a roll and I'll

52:40

like, just go like, I'm gonna throw more in,

52:42

you know, getting greedy, like, hey, the leaven of

52:44

this. So I'm gonna tag it and tag it and

52:46

tag it. And then you'll hit the one tag where it's like, you

52:49

know, and then like, you know, the Baptist

52:51

preacher said to the, you know, whatever.

52:53

And then you'll say the one like, ethnicity

52:56

that they're not allowed to like, you know, talk about. They're

52:58

like, boom, done,

52:59

over, you know, whatever. You feel like they're iPads,

53:02

like they turned it off. Like, just like, that's it, you

53:04

know?

53:05

Yeah, it's a- So, you know, that kind of humor

53:07

is definitely

53:08

really a toss up now, you know?

53:11

I think some of

53:13

your most inappropriate jokes have

53:15

one made me fall off a treadmill one

53:17

time. Really? Yeah,

53:20

it was a joke. It was a joke that

53:22

you had told,

53:23

but Yoshi was telling Tom Segura

53:26

on a podcast. And I listened to it

53:28

and I fell off. I think that's

53:30

the fucking thing that I can't understand is that

53:33

for me, comedy was always about the shock

53:36

of it, the surprise, the, I didn't see that

53:38

coming of it. Which is

53:41

what makes

53:42

the, which I don't understand with

53:44

kids not getting

53:46

that like, like, we know, Louis got in trouble for

53:48

that school shooting joke. And

53:51

I read it and I laughed out loud. And I went,

53:53

well, what, what, what did it say about me?

53:55

Like, I laughed out loud. I read it and I went, that's

53:57

a good fucking joke. I, I,

53:59

uh.

54:01

You know, I have a lot of jokes, of course, that like, I'm like,

54:03

you know, how could I have said that? And I'm

54:05

like, I feel bad. Like I

54:07

hate when people leave and they go like, you know,

54:10

they're, they're like, I hate tossing

54:12

anybody. I would never toss anybody out of the room. I either I can

54:14

handle it or it's a situation where they have

54:16

to leave. But it's not like one of those, like somebody,

54:18

you know, coughed while I was on, get them out. Like

54:22

I'm not that guy. It's like, I have the training, like, you know,

54:24

especially that Long Island training of like dealing

54:26

with the crowd. That's that was part of it. But

54:28

the other the other thing I would say is like, you know,

54:31

people quote jokes and then they use it to

54:33

go like, can you believe this guy and I'll tell this joke?

54:35

And it's like, you know, people, people like use the jokes

54:38

now as like to promote their own

54:41

like, you know, agenda, you know, like, and this guy

54:44

said this, I mean, that's wrong. It's like they're

54:46

using the material to like, you

54:48

know, whether they like it or not, they're retelling the joke.

54:51

So with stories

54:53

since like you and Jay are like great

54:55

storytellers, I really do think that that

54:57

like, it's hard to quote a story,

54:59

you know, it's like, you got to be there and you got to do

55:01

it. But I've had a million of my jokes, you

55:03

know, tweeted and like retold

55:06

and repurposed and all that kind of stuff. And

55:08

at the end of the day, like, you know, should I feel

55:10

good about it? Probably not. I should

55:13

be feeling like, you know, well, come see it and really see

55:15

what it was, you know.

55:16

And, you know, unfortunately, you

55:18

know, I could I could care less about

55:21

like the web and all that kind of stuff. But I really do

55:23

hate like when people like

55:24

jack my stuff, you know, I was like, I want

55:26

them to hear it the way it was meant to be heard in no

55:28

other way. You know, and I think that's why we

55:31

all get in trouble is when they take it out of context

55:33

and they also like kind of put more

55:36

more of their own agenda on the job. Emphasis

55:38

on the on the thing that you're not supposed to hear. And you go,

55:40

no, that's not that's all I was saying. But you know

55:42

what you should always say to like,

55:44

you know, not your daughter, but whatever it's like. So

55:46

you have all these things in your head now, all these like different

55:49

like, you know, your brain has been fixed

55:51

now to make it a better world. Are you happy?

55:53

Are you sitting around laughing your ass off all

55:56

day long at all these all these like, you

55:58

know, watered down?

55:59

like, ha ha's that you're allowed to

56:02

listen to. It must be hard, you

56:04

must have to change your underwear from pissing your pants

56:06

all day long from all these little half,

56:09

little fun funs that you're allowed

56:11

to listen to. You know, these little sillies

56:14

and tickles. We watched Ace Ventura,

56:16

have you seen Ace Ventura? Yeah. So

56:19

we watched Ace Ventura with the girls over pandemic.

56:21

Yeah. And it's a very

56:23

different movie

56:25

when you watch it with like woke

56:27

children. They really

56:30

take the teeth out of it or put teeth

56:32

in it where they don't belong. So the business

56:34

starts and then at first they go,

56:38

is he like a special needs? And I

56:40

go, what do you mean? Oh,

56:43

we're allowed to laugh at him. Yeah, we're allowed to laugh at him. And

56:45

I was like, yeah, baby, that's a joke. And they're like, yeah, but

56:47

I mean, like, is it, he's gonna be okay,

56:50

right? We're like,

56:51

oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, and that never crossed

56:53

my mind. When I watched that, I just started laughing as

56:56

a kid. The best is

56:58

at the end when they find out

57:01

that Ray Finkel is Einhorn, that

57:03

the, remember at the end, they find out that

57:07

the female detective

57:08

is a dude and he pulls

57:11

her skirt down then turns around and shows her dick.

57:13

And everyone's hooked

57:15

up with her and they're all throwing up. They're

57:17

all like, rrrr. Oh, wow.

57:20

The girls are just like- What a time capsule.

57:22

Which is trans, right? And we're like, no,

57:24

that's not the joke.

57:25

That is in the joke. And

57:28

they got damnerinoes going, rrrr.

57:32

It's such a fucking, it's so

57:35

not meant for these

57:37

kids these days.

57:38

And same thing happened, you know, this

57:40

is gonna sound crazy. So how about this? Should they

57:42

remake the movie now where it is made for them? Or how

57:44

about they come up with their own idea of what

57:47

a pet detective is in today's, why

57:49

is it always a reboot of a classic that

57:51

worked? Yeah, right. Like, you know, they're redoing

57:53

Roadhouse, right? I saw that. What is that

57:55

gonna be? Some talking to, some de-escalations?

57:57

Is there gonna be a fight? Will there be one fight?

57:59

in that movie? Will he hook up?

58:02

Will there be the guy banging the chick

58:04

in the storage room? Probably not.

58:07

None of that fun. Is he going to rip the throat

58:09

out of the guy and murder him? Will there be a blind

58:11

musician buying a cage? I doubt any

58:13

of that. I doubt any of that will be in there. They'll

58:16

repurpose it, they'll reboot

58:18

it, they'll put in today's whatever's.

58:20

I'm really surprised that Top Gun worked.

58:22

It was crazy. They couldn't have Russians

58:26

or like they had to have the

58:28

other side was no one

58:29

knows who we were fighting. Who are they?

58:32

Nobody knows. You can't put Pakistani,

58:34

or not Pakistani, Afghani, whoever

58:37

asked, Afghan fighters. They tried to make it. You can't put Russian fighters.

58:40

They tried to make it all, you know,

58:42

it was really just about like,

58:44

you know, him doing what he does, you know? So

58:47

at the end of the day, like I gave up on all

58:49

these movies. Anytime they say this is like a classic

58:52

redone. I'm like, wow, forget

58:54

it. Why? Where are all these great new

58:56

ideas that like we get to see

58:58

these issues in a new format

59:01

or something like that? It always has to be something like,

59:03

I don't know if that's coming from the network, we're like, we don't

59:05

trust it. So we're going to take an idea and redo it.

59:07

Or it's from the artist going like, you know, I

59:09

always watched, you know, a whatchamacallit,

59:13

I Dream a Genie. And I wanted to see that

59:15

show from the point of view of a woman trapped

59:18

in a bottle, you know, like, so I'm like, okay,

59:20

you know, why not? You know, but still like, well,

59:22

I feel bad for you in a way, because it's like, I'm sure you

59:24

can offer probably, if not every

59:27

couple of weeks, and every couple of months,

59:29

I'm like, you know, you're the politically

59:32

incorrect dad or uncle, you must

59:34

have been. But like, now the idea of like, what

59:36

politically incorrect would be that TV

59:38

would stand for, it's like, you see

59:40

this guy,

59:40

he's not recycling instead of something like, what's

59:43

that cross burning on my neighbor's lawn?

59:45

You can't do that uncle,

59:47

somebody.

59:49

You can't be that guy. Well, you

59:51

build the pipe bombs in the basement, what are you

59:53

doing? You know, now it's like, listen,

59:55

you know, you got to really, you know, turn the

59:57

shower off, you know, there's a route out there. You

1:00:00

know, like what are those things? Well, are you leaving the

1:00:02

shower in while you put the soap on? Yeah,

1:00:05

like what, it's like, you gotta have a submarine shower.

1:00:07

You get wet, you get, but I was

1:00:09

like, you know, I was like, you know, everything

1:00:12

like, it's like we're all supposed to

1:00:14

forget what we've seen. You know, it's like what

1:00:16

we thought was funny. I don't walk around

1:00:18

all day long going like, you know, all these

1:00:21

kids or anything like that. You, you, you,

1:00:23

you're raising kids. So it's a different story, but I can

1:00:25

only imagine just like, and the things

1:00:27

that like you see a lot in, in

1:00:29

New York, especially like this entitlement

1:00:32

of like, you know, this is me expressing myself,

1:00:34

whether it's done, you know, by

1:00:36

like, you know, rich kids, like the privileged

1:00:39

kids, or just the three people of like,

1:00:41

why, what's the matter? I can't blast my

1:00:43

music, you know, as I'm like, you

1:00:45

know, basically throwing garbage at cars.

1:00:48

Like this is who I am. This is

1:00:50

what I do, you know, like this new sense of entitlement

1:00:52

is like so weird, you know? It is,

1:00:54

I don't know. I feel like, I feel like

1:00:57

I,

1:00:57

kind of curious about what,

1:01:00

what Richard Denny would have said about it.

1:01:02

I'm sure he would have had a lot to say about

1:01:05

it. I think a lot of those, the classic

1:01:07

comics, you know, they, they probably, well,

1:01:10

well, Patrice is a great example. Cause he's,

1:01:12

he always had, he always took, he never took

1:01:14

the easy road with any joke. He loved

1:01:16

confrontation and he loved to fight. I think

1:01:18

that's what really energized him as a comic. And I think

1:01:21

the people like, especially on Tough Crowd, like

1:01:24

he was definitely the guy that who's, I would say

1:01:26

he was the anchor of that show, you know, like

1:01:28

going to him and like seeing him like do his thing, you

1:01:31

know? He was, it, it

1:01:33

bums me out sometimes. Cause people go, like

1:01:35

people say that to me. Like, can you imagine if Patrice

1:01:37

was alive, what he'd be saying about this world? And

1:01:40

then I go, yeah, I'm still alive. I guess

1:01:42

I didn't, I guess I didn't live up to what your

1:01:44

expectations are. Well,

1:01:46

he, he totally, he

1:01:48

totally would have like had so much to say,

1:01:50

especially over the last couple of years with all the protests and all

1:01:52

this different things. Oh yeah. It would be interesting to hear

1:01:54

his point of view on all of that. But for

1:01:56

us, like for me as a comic, cause like, you

1:01:58

know, I'm not going out of my way. to look for

1:02:01

a fight, you know? It's like I kind of blunder into

1:02:03

them sometimes with what I say and all that kind of stuff.

1:02:05

But I actively feel bad, like when somebody

1:02:08

leaves and they're like, you know, I didn't, you know,

1:02:10

I didn't get it. But then when people come in with a chip on their

1:02:12

shoulders, like, fuck you. It's like, don't

1:02:14

come. Nobody is forcing you ever to come through

1:02:16

these shows. Like, it's a choice. Don't

1:02:18

come through the show. There's plenty of like, whatever

1:02:22

types of entertainment for you, you know? Like, other

1:02:24

comics. There's a million other types of comics, you know?

1:02:26

I used to, I used to have a joke where I said, it

1:02:29

was a

1:02:29

blowjob joke.

1:02:31

And it was a horrible joke. But

1:02:33

I said, I can't

1:02:36

get my wife to give me a blowjob. I tried the sense of an approach

1:02:38

where you slide it in her mouth while she's sleeping. And a

1:02:41

woman lost her fucking mind and

1:02:43

started screaming at the top of her lungs. And I was like,

1:02:46

well,

1:02:46

I'm never gonna hear that. It

1:02:48

was in New York, oddly enough. That's a Gotham.

1:02:50

And came up to me and yelled at me after the show.

1:02:53

And I said, it's a joke. She goes, no, no.

1:02:55

And then all the other people started like, backing

1:02:58

her up. And then in a weird way, once they

1:03:01

started backing her up, I felt vindicated. But at the same

1:03:03

time, I was like, I don't even wanna be in this conversation.

1:03:05

And then I had one joke that I told in DC

1:03:08

that was kind of similar. And, but

1:03:10

it was about,

1:03:14

regardless, a woman came up to me and said,

1:03:16

I'm a huge fan.

1:03:18

And I don't

1:03:19

think you mean to say what you said in that joke. And

1:03:22

I said, what do you mean? She goes, well, this is what I

1:03:24

heard. And this is how I felt. And I think what

1:03:26

you meant is, and I go, that's

1:03:28

definitely not what I meant, was to make you feel less than

1:03:30

human. And we had a conversation. I went, oh yeah, I can totally listen

1:03:32

to you all day long. I could listen to that.

1:03:35

But like when just people just

1:03:37

dig their heel in and just. No,

1:03:39

I don't know what you're

1:03:40

saying. You know, they have every right to react

1:03:43

to it, however they wanna react to it. Especially

1:03:45

when you're doing these club shows, you know, it is in

1:03:47

your face. That's another part of it where I guess you get

1:03:49

addicted to, which is that like, you're gonna engage

1:03:51

with the fans. You know, like, you just, there's no

1:03:53

way, it's not like a venue where you're gonna go out through a tunnel

1:03:56

or something like that. You're gonna see

1:03:58

the fans. You're gonna hear what they have. say and

1:04:00

I kind of like I guess maybe I have like

1:04:03

you know like like for

1:04:06

some reason it's like I want to know what they thought

1:04:08

about it like I'll go sometimes like

1:04:10

they'll be like a group of like kids like five

1:04:13

like 20 year olds and I'll be like did you

1:04:15

get that joke and I'm like focus grouping

1:04:17

them because I'm not on the web or anything and they're

1:04:19

like sometimes like once they realize that like

1:04:21

you know I really want to know their opinion they'll tell me like

1:04:24

what they thought about the joke and it really helps me like

1:04:26

see how they process

1:04:29

a joke because

1:04:29

I don't know like what's going

1:04:32

on in their heads or anything like that so when

1:04:34

you see like these jokes which

1:04:37

let's face it these are throwaway

1:04:39

jokes like we just be like yeah

1:04:41

that's what she said those jokes now like

1:04:43

have so much more like what

1:04:47

you call they have so much like landmines

1:04:49

you know that could like really blow you up or

1:04:51

like destroy you you know so I

1:04:53

really those are the kind of jokes where like

1:04:55

you know the fun of it where you're just like fucking around

1:04:58

that's kind of over you know well it's taking a

1:05:00

chance and like I said I

1:05:02

owe the joke I said the other

1:05:04

night was um

1:05:06

oh fuck something

1:05:09

about I have a

1:05:11

joke about wondering if my wife

1:05:13

and I used to would have the same relationship if

1:05:16

we were married in the 1800s when I could hit her and

1:05:19

and and you just hear people groaning

1:05:21

and I go why can't I just have a fucking thought like

1:05:23

why can't you just let me let me play it out like I

1:05:26

and and and and I

1:05:28

said you know she's

1:05:30

she's really opinionated but I

1:05:32

and I respect her for a play right

1:05:34

I would have never gotten to learn to love her opinion

1:05:37

in the 1800s what would I have I wonder

1:05:39

like I was just trying to think the thought out but

1:05:41

doing that in arena when you hear that it groans

1:05:44

they're pretty loud oh for sure but isn't

1:05:46

there a part of you that I think

1:05:48

especially comics of our generations where it's like there

1:05:51

is something to the groan that like it kind of

1:05:53

like it's like it's almost like a like

1:05:55

a wet finger in the ass sorry like

1:05:59

whoa that does

1:05:59

That's not right, but don't stop. You know what I'm saying?

1:06:02

So there is something to like when they're like, whoa.

1:06:05

And you know, like, Auri Shafir and all those guys, like I've

1:06:07

seen them like really take the

1:06:09

hard road on a joke or something like that. And

1:06:12

there's some groans and moans, but at the end, you know, Auri's

1:06:14

a really good comic. I mean, he's like the best,

1:06:16

you know? So like he knows how to like bring it around

1:06:18

and everything. But like when you're like just

1:06:20

working the joke and you're like kind of stuck in that like,

1:06:23

okay, that was really like horrible thought. How

1:06:25

am I gonna make it better for you? You know, where's the,

1:06:27

where's the cinnamon on that oatmeal, you know?

1:06:29

So you're like, uh oh, okay.

1:06:32

Now they're thinking I'm just like a, you know, a terrible

1:06:34

person. But it's fun to get, it's fun to find,

1:06:36

get yourself with your back against the wall

1:06:39

with the horrible thought.

1:06:40

And part of the fun is trying to work your way out of it.

1:06:42

Well, yeah, especially if the people kind of

1:06:44

get that, if not, then they're like, especially

1:06:46

if they're like, well, we were just talking about like the crowd

1:06:49

that kind of is looking, is looking

1:06:51

for damage, is looking for trauma. Then you'd

1:06:53

be like, uh oh, well that's it. That, you

1:06:55

know, cross, that's what

1:06:57

we call not a fan, but a foe for the rest of your

1:06:59

life, you know? Yeah, what's, what are you gonna do with

1:07:01

this half hour? I don't know, man. I

1:07:03

really don't know what to do. I'd like to have a conversation with you

1:07:05

at some point and go like, what do you think of all these

1:07:07

different platforms now? I feel like you know, you

1:07:10

know, you're like almost above

1:07:12

and beyond everybody in terms of like knowing how to get

1:07:14

content out. But I'll go through, you know,

1:07:17

I

1:07:17

think the best thing to do would be edit it, see what it

1:07:19

is. And then go, where does this

1:07:21

go? And where would be a good place for it? And

1:07:24

also, you know, I

1:07:25

think since I am coming

1:07:28

towards the end of it, of like, you know,

1:07:30

touring and like, you know, doing

1:07:32

all these different things, it would be good to like, you

1:07:35

know, have it as part of like maybe other

1:07:37

content that I'm thinking about doing. And you

1:07:39

know, people could like, you know, check

1:07:41

it out, clips and all that kind of stuff. But yeah,

1:07:44

you know, at the end of the day, I'm gonna want it as a solid,

1:07:46

like I'm really thinking like 30, 35 minutes. I

1:07:49

really enjoyed watching

1:07:52

Chris's and also Earthquake. And

1:07:55

I felt like, you know, I'm like, you know,

1:07:57

I might've put a

1:07:58

lot of effort into it.

1:07:59

but I still think I'm best height, you know

1:08:02

what I'm saying? Like just height and like

1:08:04

keeping it moving. What

1:08:07

was, can I

1:08:08

tell you what I'd love for you to do? I would

1:08:10

love- I'd love to hear it. What are you thinking?

1:08:12

This is a,

1:08:13

I would love for you to lip sync

1:08:15

in

1:08:17

a comedy- A Taylor speech. In a comedy

1:08:20

club. Lip sync's

1:08:22

ganks for the memories. Oh, that would be interesting,

1:08:24

wouldn't it? That would be, that would break the internet. Like

1:08:27

if you, like, but you know what you could get

1:08:29

is, I mean, Skanks for the Memories is

1:08:31

probably is,

1:08:32

is hands down my, the

1:08:35

best hour of comedy ever recorded.

1:08:39

I, that's being too bad. I'll walk out. I'm

1:08:41

telling you. If you, if you had, if you had a finished house

1:08:43

with the doorway, I would walk out. If

1:08:46

you got stairs, instead of that rope ladder,

1:08:48

we climbed to get up here. Yeah, no, that's

1:08:50

very nice. A lot of people bring that album up to me. It's

1:08:52

such, everyone loves that. Everyone, for us, so

1:08:55

I played, I

1:08:56

played, when

1:08:59

the girls were young, I played, it came

1:09:01

on my, just on my phone, randomly on the thing. And

1:09:04

Leanne, it was like Leanne and I, the album I

1:09:06

played to see if I could love

1:09:08

Leanne, cause I was in comedy, and she didn't think

1:09:10

I was funny, and I thought I was funny, but I needed

1:09:12

to make sure we thought the same people

1:09:15

were funny. That's a good test, yeah. That's a good

1:09:17

test album. So I put you in, and she was crying,

1:09:20

laughing. Well, thanks, man. And so

1:09:22

I put- I'm not very good with compliments, so

1:09:24

like- But I'm not good either. I just, I just deflected one.

1:09:27

I just did a press run over at iHeartRadio, and

1:09:30

someone said something, and I totally

1:09:32

made myself look like a fucking fool.

1:09:34

Like, they were like congratulating me on,

1:09:37

on the, they released this touring list, and

1:09:40

I just started explaining why I

1:09:42

didn't belong on there, but I'm on the list. Right.

1:09:45

So I was number four, and I just kept explaining why I

1:09:47

shouldn't be on the list. And then I was like,

1:09:49

just take the fucking compliment, and shut the fuck up. Yeah,

1:09:51

well, that's cool that you played it with your lady

1:09:53

and something like that, cause I think even though like

1:09:55

I only did one album, I really, really

1:09:58

think that that's, that's where I really-

1:09:59

loved growing up and I still think comedy

1:10:02

is always best. And the best compliments I've

1:10:04

ever gotten were over like guys in

1:10:06

Iraq, they're listening to my album, got me

1:10:08

through it, I meet them back in the States,

1:10:11

or I saw them on the USO tour and the like your album

1:10:13

was. So to me that was like, well,

1:10:15

I really like, it was like one of those like where you connected

1:10:17

and you felt good about it, as opposed to like

1:10:19

somebody like I saw a clip or

1:10:22

I saw somebody lip syncing your joke on TikTok

1:10:24

or something like that. And that's another thing with like,

1:10:27

you

1:10:27

know, TikTok, let's

1:10:29

face it, it's a game changer, right?

1:10:32

It's all that kind of stuff. Humor wise, like,

1:10:34

you know, it's all,

1:10:36

you know, if Chaplin was alive, he'd

1:10:38

be suing everybody. It's all slapstick.

1:10:40

It's all fallen down. It's

1:10:43

all, I'm opening the store, what's in there? A billion

1:10:45

ping pong, but it's like all those different kind

1:10:47

of jokes that you grew up going like, that's corny.

1:10:49

That's like, you know, 1960s, you know, that's whatever.

1:10:54

That's not like today's comic. They

1:10:56

like reinvented it and re-energized it. So

1:10:59

I don't know, I don't know in terms of like,

1:11:01

you know,

1:11:02

us being like out of date or anything like that, but

1:11:04

I'm like, you guys are not coming up with new

1:11:06

stuff. You're just reinventing stuff I've

1:11:08

seen already. I would love, I hate to bring

1:11:10

it up too, because I'm like, I kind of saw that like

1:11:12

on a, you know, Smothers Brothers or something,

1:11:14

how old you are, you know? I

1:11:17

would love a re-recording of Legion

1:11:19

of Skanks or of Skanks for Memories. We

1:11:21

had talked about, I talked to someone about, maybe

1:11:23

Stanhope,

1:11:24

I think I talked to Stanhope about, I

1:11:28

think he has an album

1:11:30

that is, that someone else owns, and

1:11:33

he can't release it. And he was like, but it's a great album.

1:11:35

And he was like, I was thinking about just, he

1:11:37

goes, I'm a better comic now than I was then.

1:11:40

I was thinking about just re-recording that hour

1:11:42

and making it better, but re-recording

1:11:45

the hour. And then, because I own the, they're all my thoughts.

1:11:48

And I thought that was great. I thought it was such a brilliant

1:11:50

way to look at like, because like my first

1:11:53

hour that

1:11:54

I ever did was for Comedy Central.

1:11:56

It's got some good shit, but I bet if I went back, if I

1:11:58

went and remastered it as a comic, I

1:12:00

said, I'm gonna do one show,

1:12:02

I've worked it out, I've gotten these old bits. Because

1:12:04

you know, it's like, as soon as you do a

1:12:06

bit on a special, you make it a million

1:12:09

times better,

1:12:10

like a month later. Believe me,

1:12:12

oh my God, that is the worst of it

1:12:14

all. You know, I'm so like, it's

1:12:17

almost like the guys who get to actually the playoffs

1:12:19

and they're like, you know, if I just had like, you know, tied

1:12:21

my shoes a little bit or like something, like whatever

1:12:23

it was, like, I know I would have caught that ball, you

1:12:25

know, you're always rethinking that. I didn't know

1:12:27

you did that, but I do that. Oh my God, that's

1:12:30

terrible. That's so terrible, sleep.

1:12:32

I have a joke about, that's in this new special,

1:12:35

my new special that is,

1:12:38

you know, when you get a joke, you go, I, once

1:12:41

I get there, it's good, but in order to get there,

1:12:44

it's a little clumsy, but it's fine,

1:12:46

because I get there, once I get there, it gets a good pop. Well,

1:12:48

I found out how to get there quicker

1:12:50

this weekend on that joke and I'm angry.

1:12:53

I'm angry that I just want to edit it out of my special

1:12:56

and go, let me just use this

1:12:58

on the next special, because I feel like,

1:13:01

I'm like frustrated that I got there, I

1:13:03

figured it out,

1:13:04

two months, three, probably,

1:13:07

four months after I did the special, I figured the fucking

1:13:09

joke out. Oh, well. Yeah, right now

1:13:11

I'm doing- I've been there as well. Oh my God. And

1:13:14

you're gonna see that in mine, but the one bit that now that

1:13:16

we're talking bits and all that stuff, like your gun

1:13:18

bit, you know, like, well, you're like, I got a gun. I was

1:13:20

like, that's so cool. I was like, and then your examples

1:13:22

were really, really fun. I was like, well,

1:13:24

that's cool, because usually, you know, the gun thing is

1:13:27

like, you know, a gun and then

1:13:29

like the funny thing, and then this whole like guns

1:13:31

are bad, you know, and this and that, and it's like, you

1:13:33

have to hammer that in, but you just like told

1:13:35

your thing that you did. And then it was

1:13:37

funny all the way through. It always makes me laugh when I think about

1:13:39

that, you know? It's just, it's really good. Goodr

1:13:43

makes $25 active sunglasses

1:13:45

that don't slip, don't bounce and

1:13:48

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1:13:50

only $25. Let me tell you right

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now. I went

1:13:55

fishing with an expensive

1:13:57

pair of sunglasses.

1:13:59

They were polarized and as I leaned over the boat,

1:14:03

right off my face. They're too heavy. These

1:14:05

are lightweight and I love how comfortable

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they are to wear all day. I have a few

1:14:10

pairs and I rotate them because they're affordable

1:14:12

enough that I can keep an extra set in my car, an extra set

1:14:15

in my tour bus, an extra set in my travel bag. I

1:14:17

kept a set in my golf bag, didn't know I had

1:14:20

sunglasses in there. Put them on. Dude,

1:14:22

they're awesome. I first found Gooder, I've been a

1:14:24

fan of Gooder for a long time, but I first found

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them at a running store. They had them at a running

1:14:28

store and they were like, cool sunglasses, we're on tour. I

1:14:31

think we were in

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1:14:36

I only run with Gooder. They're

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always releasing new colors and collabs.

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1:15:18

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1:15:24

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I'm celebrating. I had a great day today. I woke

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My whole life is designed

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2023 Miller brewing company Milwaukee, Wisconsin Well,

1:16:35

I wanted to say something else about

1:16:37

Bits and things like that is that there is

1:16:40

I was just thinking there's a marketing thing for us

1:16:42

right now You know it is poor. Um, so I might as

1:16:44

well think about ways to market this stuff

1:16:47

is uh,

1:16:48

Our material especially these old jokes will

1:16:50

eventually will eventually be bought by big

1:16:52

corporations to use in there like,

1:16:55

you know HR like and

1:16:57

we don't want jokes like this and

1:16:59

this and this in the office So

1:17:02

it's like if they would pay like if they

1:17:04

pay you a hundred grand a pop You'd be like,

1:17:06

you know, I wouldn't mind you can use my

1:17:08

you know, little people jokes to say, you know

1:17:13

That is that's a great by the way immediately

1:17:15

I go that's a great that's a great promo

1:17:17

video of

1:17:18

Promote your special

1:17:20

of the HR company just going just

1:17:22

going just having like a group

1:17:25

of people in a business meeting in a corporate

1:17:28

room and then They

1:17:29

go alright. So just so we're clear. This

1:17:31

is the language trying to void. This is David tells

1:17:33

new It's

1:17:38

fired like My

1:17:43

I've become like as I got an older I become

1:17:45

better I'm better comic I wouldn't say I'm

1:17:48

like oh you're way better I'm I

1:17:50

feel like the old the old like especially

1:17:52

all those different jokes I'm embarrassed now

1:17:55

like when I'm talking about any of that stuff like

1:17:57

vibrators and oh, you know going

1:17:59

down

1:17:59

and I quoted you in Amsterdam. I

1:18:03

said, yeah, this is a kind of, we walked into a,

1:18:07

we walked into a

1:18:09

sex shop. And

1:18:11

I, what was the, what is? We

1:18:14

gotta pretend like you've never been there. Oh,

1:18:17

whoa, what's that? And then you go out and

1:18:19

you kick a midget and you go, you grow a

1:18:21

tail. I mean,

1:18:23

like, for me, it's quotable stuff

1:18:27

that I think is like,

1:18:29

it's the best,

1:18:31

man. That, Skanks for the Memories is just,

1:18:36

I mean, all those stuff, what's crazy is

1:18:38

when you say you're a better comic today, I agree, when

1:18:40

I watched you in Vegas, when I watched you at Fully

1:18:42

Loaded, that was amazing. But when I saw you in Vegas,

1:18:45

I don't think I've laughed that

1:18:48

hard

1:18:49

in my life. I quote that, I quoted

1:18:51

that parrot joke to my dad, the parrot now joke,

1:18:53

to my dad this morning. My dad's a lawyer. And

1:18:56

I told my dad and he was like, for real, how

1:18:58

does he come up with this stuff? You should ask him.

1:19:00

How does he, I go, dad, that's- I have a lot of downtime,

1:19:02

so I can go back to, but

1:19:05

I, you've always been like really

1:19:07

good to me, but I would say that like

1:19:09

the jokes I used to do and the jokes I'm trying to do

1:19:11

now, like I'm trying to be more adult and all that kind of

1:19:13

stuff. And I understand like what, like I

1:19:15

left off a bunch of stuff that I'm like, that's just

1:19:17

stuff you do to your crowd live. Like you just don't

1:19:19

do it. And then like when I was like on the second

1:19:22

show, I did like all the vibrator, all

1:19:24

that oral bits that I do, basically

1:19:26

to kill time on stage. And I was like,

1:19:28

I might as well get them on tape just for like to have them. So

1:19:31

maybe it'll fit, maybe it won't, but

1:19:33

it definitely is like so different

1:19:35

from like years ago where it was just like,

1:19:37

you know, of course, you know, I think dice

1:19:39

set the bar pretty high in terms of like, you

1:19:42

know, like,

1:19:42

you know, the guy, the guy, I hate

1:19:45

to say it, but the guy like, you know, gargling

1:19:47

a man's balls, like that's his thing. And

1:19:50

what are they orphans? And that always makes

1:19:52

me laugh. I could care less if we were like, you

1:19:54

know, in the future, like on Mars in the colony

1:19:56

up there, like that would always make me laugh. The

1:19:59

what are they orphans?

1:19:59

So like they always bought it. It's

1:20:02

always it's a it's

1:20:04

a it's a burst in my head. Like it just

1:20:06

it it it always activates. I guess that primal

1:20:09

like funny, you know. Yeah, I love I love

1:20:12

your

1:20:13

ability. You had you had such

1:20:15

a great way to. This should be

1:20:17

sent for the death like when I die. You

1:20:19

know, some of these stuff. You know what I you know what I did. You know what I tried

1:20:22

to do last year. Was that loaded? I wasn't

1:20:24

going to tell you is

1:20:25

the memorial shot. No, I

1:20:27

was going to do a documentary on you. Are

1:20:30

you not be knowing that you know and don't tell it.

1:20:32

Don't tell it. Tell that we're all just going

1:20:34

to have because we had all these great comics around who

1:20:36

we could interview and talk about you, but then

1:20:39

see you interact and see you hang out and

1:20:41

watch your stuff and watch my daughter watch your stuff. And

1:20:43

it became

1:20:45

extremely too complicated because

1:20:47

everyone started. Yeah, I would hate a prank show. And

1:20:49

I was like, no, no, no, no, don't you know what? Let's fucking ignore

1:20:52

this entirely. This isn't working. Well,

1:20:54

my

1:20:55

the tour like there was a lot of great to

1:20:57

that tour. But there was also like,

1:21:00

you know, with with the bus, like because

1:21:02

I've done bus tours before, I've done one

1:21:04

in years and all that kind of stuff. But like I realized, like,

1:21:06

I'm too old to sleep on a bus. So I'm like, you

1:21:09

know, first of all, I'm up. I don't

1:21:11

sleep much at all. Yeah. So I'm talking to the bus driver.

1:21:14

And I was really, you know, and your bus guy is great.

1:21:16

That guy is really cool. God, it

1:21:18

takes a certain type of person to do that job.

1:21:20

You know, especially do it right. And you know, he's

1:21:23

great. So like we're sitting up front there and I was like,

1:21:25

I'm in his like, this is like his zone right

1:21:27

now. It'd be like if I'm doing like a set and

1:21:29

it's like, you don't mind if like my

1:21:31

cousin comes and watches. He's a big fan. So

1:21:33

like watching him. I'm like whenever I watch the

1:21:36

guy would go like, man, I wish I was a better driver. I

1:21:38

would be a bus driver because like I'm good

1:21:40

at being up at night. I'm a terrible driver. But still, like

1:21:42

I was like, you know, kind of like jealous of him a little

1:21:44

bit. And then after a while I was like, you

1:21:46

know, just like looking at your bus and like, you

1:21:48

know, this is birth bus. So it's got to be like, you know, of course,

1:21:51

like

1:21:51

party. And I opened that thing and I see all

1:21:53

those like meat sandwiches. I was

1:21:55

like, wow, this is fucking

1:21:57

cool. You know.

1:21:59

I'm buying a new bus. You are? Yeah, I'm buying

1:22:02

a new bus. And then what

1:22:04

are you going to do to it? Like, how are you going to trick it out?

1:22:06

Oh, I'm letting Isla design it. Yeah.

1:22:08

And

1:22:09

I it's just the littlest things like we'll

1:22:11

have a free speech circle in the middle for your daughters

1:22:14

to know. It's funny, Georgia isn't a tell fan.

1:22:16

Isla is a Hedberg fan. Yes, Isla is

1:22:18

a big Hedberg. She

1:22:20

fucking that he made her slide out

1:22:22

of a seatbelt one time. Like, oh, really?

1:22:25

Oh, my God. And Georgia,

1:22:27

Georgia's two. I think she's

1:22:29

too analytical at times. Like, you know,

1:22:31

like she she was like, this guy's really funny.

1:22:34

What's she's like, she's yeah.

1:22:36

What is it called again? Dissecting.

1:22:39

Yeah, she goes is she on drugs? And

1:22:41

I went, well, yeah, he was. And she goes, is

1:22:43

he OK now? And I said, he's dead.

1:22:45

She went, oh, she was I'm going to have a hard time

1:22:47

laughing at this. I go, well, no, baby, it's it's

1:22:50

fine. You can laugh at it. It's comedy. She goes,

1:22:52

yeah, but I don't know. I feel like I'm laughing

1:22:54

at a guy who I know is about to die. And

1:22:56

I was like, finger fuck

1:22:59

to like in the right figure,

1:23:01

fuck to the whole

1:23:02

hands across America. And

1:23:04

what do they what do they like? What

1:23:06

do they do? Like, like, like what's,

1:23:09

you know, for young kids like that? Like, what I don't

1:23:11

what gets them like, like is

1:23:13

a group thing? Like, do they have to wait till like everybody

1:23:15

else likes it or? I think I think that's one

1:23:17

of the things I think.

1:23:20

I I don't think kids do

1:23:22

a lot these days. Like, I think they live on their

1:23:24

phones and they scroll. So they judge

1:23:26

a lot. They get to judge a lot. Yeah, it's a little

1:23:29

bit of the the Caesar feel.

1:23:31

It's like they just flip

1:23:33

through and they're like, and like.

1:23:37

Like

1:23:38

they definitely are afraid to be pulled out like

1:23:40

in the crowd like, hey, look at this guy

1:23:42

like that kind of like, you know, and I consider like, you

1:23:44

know, crowd work like people do it differently, but

1:23:46

I do it my own way. And like,

1:23:48

you know, even even if the guy or the

1:23:50

person deserves a beating, like I will let them off

1:23:53

the hook. It's not like I'm going for the throat. Back

1:23:55

in the day, you go for the throat because it was

1:23:57

it was basically a knife fight. Now it's

1:23:59

like this.

1:23:59

like exchange, someone's drunk,

1:24:02

you know, they're yelling out during the setup,

1:24:04

which is the worst when they're yelling out stuff during the

1:24:06

setup. So now you got to reset it

1:24:08

up all the time. So you know, these are

1:24:10

like compared to like back

1:24:13

in the in the day, these are pillow fights, you

1:24:16

know. So but even then people are like,

1:24:18

whoa, you know,

1:24:19

I can't believe it. Even like last night at the

1:24:22

store at the store, you know, in the main room,

1:24:24

you know, which I think is like, you know, that

1:24:26

room, like, I've heard so many great things

1:24:28

about that room and everything. Usually when I

1:24:30

get there, it's like the crowd is exhausted. Like

1:24:33

it was almost like they were there for like a timeshare

1:24:36

meeting, you know, they had that look like. So if you really

1:24:38

want the timeshare, you know, they're exhausted.

1:24:41

They've seen multiple, multiple comics.

1:24:43

But like people in the front row, they know you're

1:24:45

going to be talked to at some point. I mean, sitting

1:24:48

in front of the comedy club is like,

1:24:49

you know, you want to be a part of the show. And

1:24:51

these people, this guy was

1:24:53

like, whoa, you know, it's like we were just sitting here. We were

1:24:55

hoping that this place would eventually be

1:24:57

turned into a restaurant or something. You

1:24:59

know, it's like, how dare you? Like he had that look in

1:25:01

his eyes like, oh, come on. You know, I'm like, OK.

1:25:03

That's happened to me. And by the way, I can seek

1:25:05

them out now because I've spent so many times

1:25:08

that fucking drop off with my kids.

1:25:10

I can see the people that are out like

1:25:12

they don't really know what they've signed up for and they're in the front row.

1:25:14

Yeah. And but then I feel like I

1:25:16

have

1:25:17

I feel like I have access to that secret club

1:25:19

because I've around those type of parents.

1:25:22

Oh, really tight. So what's their problem? Let

1:25:24

me in on it. What's what are they? What are

1:25:26

they? Why they like that? Apparently, they're

1:25:28

probably execs somewhere in Hollywood.

1:25:30

And so they they can't

1:25:33

they are not allowed to be a part

1:25:35

of it. It's like it's like I never liked the

1:25:38

tapings

1:25:39

when when they filled it with audience and

1:25:41

then lit the audience and then had cameras on the audience

1:25:43

to get all the traction. Yeah.

1:25:45

I go. You're asking people

1:25:46

to shut down their natural thought process because

1:25:48

they know they're being watched. So if they laugh,

1:25:51

Nicki Glaser doing an anal sex joke, they're

1:25:53

like, oh, my mom's watching this.

1:25:57

I don't do anal.

1:25:59

But yeah, I this. The store is an interesting place

1:26:01

because it had such a rep of the,

1:26:05

I mean like the biggest comics in the

1:26:07

world would be on every show that I've

1:26:09

watched people go up that are younger and just

1:26:12

people go, you're not famous. Next.

1:26:14

Yeah, they're spoiled the crowd there because they got

1:26:17

all these big acts working on their acts and

1:26:19

you know, I totally

1:26:21

agree with you on that, which is that they do,

1:26:23

they kind of like turn it on and turn it

1:26:25

off through the whole night. You know, I've had some rough

1:26:27

spots in the main room. I have

1:26:29

just as many rough spots in the OR. Yeah,

1:26:32

no, for sure. It's like, you know, I'm not, I

1:26:34

don't live in this town. So when I come in, like, where'd you come out here

1:26:36

for? Well I'm in between San

1:26:38

Francisco and Portland. So I'm coming here

1:26:40

and you know, I'm heading up to Portland, you know,

1:26:42

another

1:26:43

great comedy town. They

1:26:45

usually, anybody comes to my shows, they know what they're in

1:26:47

for and they really are great. And they,

1:26:50

you know, I'm really lucky. I have really good,

1:26:52

you know, and I'm not just saying it because like, it's my

1:26:54

fans. It's like all the guys I tour with, all the

1:26:56

people that come on the road, they love my crowd because they

1:26:59

get the joke. They like jokes. They

1:27:01

also

1:27:02

tip well and they treat the staff well. And

1:27:04

like, they're just great all the way around. Now

1:27:07

they're older. So it's more of like, you

1:27:09

know, it's like this kind of thing of like, we're

1:27:11

all old.

1:27:12

But even the new ones that come in, they get it right

1:27:14

away that like, you're going to hear a lot of jokes and

1:27:16

like, it's going to be, you know,

1:27:18

it's going to be that kind of an experience

1:27:21

and you might be a part of it as well. So I'm very lucky

1:27:23

to have that crowd and anybody who talks with me, I

1:27:25

mean, like

1:27:26

they, you know, that's like the best compliment

1:27:28

you can ever get is like, I love your crowd. Oh, your

1:27:30

crowd, your crowd. I would love your crowd

1:27:32

too. Like touring with you was like,

1:27:34

I was, I was like, you know, these people

1:27:37

like I was like, I hope I'm fun

1:27:39

enough for them. You know, I was like, you know, what am

1:27:41

I going to do? Like, you know, I know that they

1:27:43

want like a big, you know, they like it bold,

1:27:46

you know, what's funny because I think, I think our

1:27:48

crowd,

1:27:49

I think they see some crossover. Yeah. Well,

1:27:52

I think what's interesting is I

1:27:53

think I say when I say, oh, I'm thinking me and Tom,

1:27:55

me and Tom's, we pretty much share

1:27:57

an audience. Oddly enough, it's getting less.

1:28:00

and less like that, the bigger we

1:28:02

get, it's really kind of bizarre. Like

1:28:04

we went to NASCAR and I

1:28:06

got recognized maybe 500 times and

1:28:09

Tom was like anonymous. And

1:28:14

I was like, wow, my fans are NASCAR

1:28:16

fans and

1:28:17

Tom, I would always think we share fans,

1:28:19

but what

1:28:20

I think

1:28:21

for the most part when we did that fully loaded,

1:28:23

I think it's fun when they see you because I

1:28:25

think part of them, it's like going

1:28:29

like when you eat a dish and then you're

1:28:31

like, wow, I didn't, what's that taste?

1:28:33

And then like it was saffron, then you smell saffron and

1:28:35

you're like, oh, that's totally saffron. I think they see

1:28:37

you and they go, oh, so that's who Bert

1:28:39

and Tom were trying to be. And

1:28:42

they go, oh, I get it. Like, because you guys

1:28:44

are your own thing. You were such a heavy,

1:28:46

you were talking about

1:28:48

in the beginning when you're trying to learn how to do comedy, I think the

1:28:51

majority of people learned was by watching someone

1:28:54

and then going, how would that guy do it? And

1:28:56

then emulating them until they can figure

1:28:58

out their own voice. Well,

1:29:00

I'm very spoiled with comedy because I

1:29:02

get to go on, especially at the Comedy Cellar, which

1:29:04

I guess you could say like, I've been

1:29:06

there so long, I can almost not remember

1:29:09

being there. And the New York

1:29:11

comedy scene like Caroline's clothes and

1:29:13

I bet you like when you were younger, like

1:29:16

being headline accountants was a big deal. Like

1:29:18

that was like, I finally got a place that can

1:29:21

tell my mama and my papa to

1:29:23

come and see, like you felt like now they'll

1:29:25

think I'm really a comic because I'm playing on

1:29:27

Broadway and it was such a big deal. And

1:29:29

at the end, like when it, you know, like unfortunately,

1:29:32

you know, the club closed, you were

1:29:34

like, that is the end of an era.

1:29:36

I always played the same week, the Christmas

1:29:38

between Christmas and New Year's. And it was like this

1:29:40

thing and like the staff and everybody would get pumped

1:29:42

for these crowds that would come in. And some of them

1:29:45

were great. Some of them

1:29:46

were like tourists, you know, like just tourists

1:29:48

coming right, right. You know, like they've

1:29:50

staying at the embassy suites down

1:29:52

the block and they saw like a, you know, a sign

1:29:55

or something, but like it was always fun. Either

1:29:57

way that like, that was my end of the year. I was like,

1:29:59

okay.

1:29:59

I do Carolines, I get

1:30:02

to sleep in my own bed, and then there's New Year's

1:30:04

and then it's start again, like whatever, the new year

1:30:06

will hold for me. But now without

1:30:08

that, it's kinda like that was a real touchstone

1:30:10

for me. And I think a

1:30:12

lot of comics felt the same way that Carolines

1:30:15

was definitely one of those pinnacles that you're

1:30:17

like, hey, I got to play Carolines. So

1:30:19

I was very lucky that I got to play there as often

1:30:22

as I did. I never played, I didn't play there

1:30:24

a lot, but the times I did play there,

1:30:27

and we're like, that's where I first saw Richard

1:30:29

Gennie.

1:30:32

And then Patrice made me

1:30:34

go with him to watch Paul Mooney.

1:30:37

I know Paul Mooney. Paul was like, he

1:30:40

was an icon there, yeah, for sure. He had

1:30:42

a bottle of champagne with him on stage,

1:30:44

and he was, I mean, very slow to start.

1:30:46

And I'm sitting with Patrice, and I'm trying to figure

1:30:49

out what Patrice sees in him that

1:30:52

I'm like, why am I here? And

1:30:57

then immediately next to him, I

1:30:59

hear the most recognizable laugh in comedy,

1:31:02

and it's fucking Eddie Murphy just, right

1:31:05

next to me. And I'm like, and Patrice is like, yeah.

1:31:08

And as Patrice's statement was kind of weird, but

1:31:11

he's like, you wanna see the comics

1:31:14

that make Eddie Murphy laugh.

1:31:16

And so watch him, you won't get

1:31:18

it. He's like, you're not gonna get a lot of this, but

1:31:20

that's the point.

1:31:21

Yeah, he was kind of ahead of the curve on a

1:31:23

lot of things, especially with, he was another

1:31:25

guy

1:31:27

where it's like

1:31:29

the anger that he had, he

1:31:31

was able to filter it

1:31:34

through his act into the funny, the

1:31:37

undeniable funny of it. So

1:31:40

like all of us, sometimes it was,

1:31:42

he was just like, he was another guy

1:31:45

where like, to be honest, I'm not as familiar

1:31:47

with his stuff as I should be, or like

1:31:49

I never really saw it, but there was

1:31:51

more to the guy than just his,

1:31:54

he was just another one of a kind.

1:31:58

Like to this day, people.

1:31:59

can say like with the other comments Paul Mooney and

1:32:02

they know exactly you know what we're talking about.

1:32:04

So when you come out to LA who do you hit up? Do you have do

1:32:06

you like who do I hit up? Like like

1:32:08

what friends do you hit up? Well you

1:32:10

know um you know all the you know the usual

1:32:13

ones Heidi Fleiss uh Tom

1:32:15

Sizemore god bless him. No all

1:32:17

the people uh Tom Sizemore recognized

1:32:19

me towards the end of his life. That was

1:32:22

a sad end man that was too quick that was too quick.

1:32:24

He came up to me and

1:32:27

it was on uh Lancashire no not

1:32:29

Lancashire Largemont and Largemont was going

1:32:31

to get my haircut and I was and

1:32:33

he was trying to figure out a parking meter and he was

1:32:35

clearly inebriated

1:32:37

and he was talking on the phone trying to figure out a parking meter

1:32:39

and I was like oh fuck I know that guy and

1:32:42

I was like it's Tom Sizemore he's like hey you're funny as fuck

1:32:44

and I was like oh thanks and I was this is a while

1:32:47

ago too this is a long time ago and uh and

1:32:49

I was like oh I'm a fan for life I'm

1:32:51

a fan for life.

1:32:53

Where did he see do you think he saw you at the comedy

1:32:55

store because that used to be like a big hang for celebs

1:32:57

you know. Must have been it might have been on

1:33:00

just something online I doubt he was a big

1:33:02

podcast listener I don't know. Another

1:33:05

uh you know I don't know how much much time we got but like

1:33:07

when Bud Friedman passed that was also another big

1:33:09

like you know that was a guy who like you

1:33:11

know

1:33:12

whatever gave me first shot whatever

1:33:14

on on his show just like Caroline's

1:33:16

comedy hour there was the uh

1:33:18

whatever that what was it called evening at the

1:33:21

improv and all those things and like um you

1:33:23

know all

1:33:24

that VHS basic cable comedy

1:33:26

like you know there's something to it there

1:33:28

was just just just like a like a like

1:33:30

a sliminess to it that's like addictive

1:33:33

like when you watch it that one camera

1:33:35

you know like just that flat you know you know you're

1:33:38

wearing you're wearing like your best

1:33:41

duds and all that kind of stuff it's like that

1:33:43

kind of weird weird thing about it but

1:33:46

I you know Bud was definitely another um

1:33:48

he was he was an icon he was a living legend

1:33:50

in comedy before he passed and now he's just like you

1:33:53

know epic so I

1:33:54

saw him towards the end of his life but that was another

1:33:56

club where like you know it's a fun

1:33:58

hang you know Melrose improv

1:33:59

and same thing with the store

1:34:02

and all that kind of stuff. I never worked the lab

1:34:04

factory as much as like, I always

1:34:06

felt like I was kind of out of my league. Like the crowds

1:34:08

were better looking, the comics were better

1:34:11

looking. It was almost like, you know, like during

1:34:13

the day we're a model agency. At night

1:34:16

we were a comedy club, but they, that place

1:34:18

was a rock, that was like a rock club for a

1:34:20

while. Like it was killing it. I worked there once

1:34:22

and he told me I went long and I knew I didn't.

1:34:24

And I was like, okay. And then I called in my

1:34:27

veils and they, and

1:34:30

I just was like, ah, I was like, I

1:34:32

don't need to do three spots tonight. I'll do two.

1:34:34

And then, and so I just kind of avoided

1:34:37

it. And then.

1:34:38

But Jamie's always been good to me. Like, you know, maybe

1:34:40

it's the fact that like, you know, he

1:34:42

got it. He, you know, he was like, you know, I'd love you

1:34:44

to come by here. But it was like, there was so

1:34:46

many power acts like working

1:34:49

there that it was like, one of those where like you

1:34:51

better bring like your

1:34:52

last 20 minutes on the road here. It's not like you're

1:34:55

gonna come up with a new bid here. It was not like you're gonna work

1:34:57

stuff out. Yeah, it's like this crowd is, it's

1:34:59

a shallow end of the pool. I mean, these people who look at

1:35:01

them, a lot of them, you know, just got their nose

1:35:03

done, their cheeks done to be here. So

1:35:06

wait, are you doing a spot tonight?

1:35:07

Yeah, I'm probably gonna go out tonight. And

1:35:10

I can't, well, I can say where, right? Cause it's not

1:35:12

airing tonight, is it? I'll probably go over the

1:35:14

improv tonight. You should come

1:35:17

by. I may, I have to, I have to write so badly. Well,

1:35:19

you're really like in this head right now

1:35:21

of writing. Yeah. How do you do it? Like,

1:35:23

do you have a notebook? Well, it used to be so fucking

1:35:26

easy. Do you remember when everybody

1:35:28

would walk around with a notebook? Do you remember

1:35:30

all that? And they put it on the chair. I still have a notebook. They'd

1:35:32

open it up. I still have a notebook. The only guy I ever saw actually

1:35:35

writing a notebook was Mitch Hedberg.

1:35:37

That thing was full of thoughts and drawings

1:35:39

and like jokes. Everybody else was like, here's

1:35:41

my new book. You know, it's like, oh,

1:35:44