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The example that comes to mind is...

0:45

out and support my old lady. I had flown

0:47

up to Kansas City twice to meet with Andy

0:49

Reid and the Chiefs. Me and Andy Reid had

0:52

a great relationship when I was in the draft.

0:54

This is a crazy story. I haven't really told this to many

0:56

people. Top's

1:00

Off World Tour, Erie, Pennsylvania, Fairbourn,

1:03

Ohio, Atlantic City, Salisbury, Maryland, April

1:05

4th, I'm coming to Chicago, then

1:07

Columbus, Knoxville, Harrisonburg, Virginia, Columbia, South

1:10

Carolina, Birmingham, Alabama, Clarksville, Tennessee, Louisville,

1:12

Kentucky. Top's Off World Tour. So

1:16

I'm down there quite a bit with Tony

1:19

Hinchcliffe and... Oh, you know Tony? Very well.

1:22

Oh, you guys line up fucking perfectly. We

1:24

have been here. Hold on. Are

1:26

you rolling? Tony's

1:28

a great guy. Tony doesn't get any better than Tony

1:30

Hinchcliffe. He's...

1:32

I've known him for a long time, but

1:36

he's a legit dude. A quick Tony story. The

1:38

first night I did a set

1:41

at the... It's a big thing for comics

1:43

is getting passed as a paid regular at

1:45

the store. And I was older when I

1:47

got passed. It was kind of embarrassing a

1:49

little bit. And I didn't

1:52

tell anybody. I was like, you know, whatever.

1:54

I got bumped by four, like three times

1:57

and I got done and I was really proud of

1:59

myself. The only person that knew I've been

2:01

past was Tony. He just came up on the

2:03

DL and he was like congrats I was like, oh, thanks.

2:06

He's like I'm gonna do a shot. I was like fuck

2:08

yeah for for a guy That's like as funny as he

2:10

is and like does what he does. He's very Caring

2:13

about the people that are around him and his friends

2:15

and seeing little things like that He's very attentive to

2:17

the detail and that side of things because for you

2:19

I can only imagine you

2:21

know hearing that story and and How

2:24

big of a like hurdle that was for

2:26

you to clear and climb and get over

2:28

especially in the I'm learning a lot more

2:30

Is about the comedy game just spending time

2:32

in Austin just being around the mother

2:35

ship being around Joe and him and now we get

2:37

A time with Joe. I've spent a little bit of

2:39

time with Joe I probably spent more time with Shane

2:41

down there that he's been down there So

2:43

it's been of course you I got a

2:45

chance I got a chance to

2:48

go to this is you know, and Tony

2:50

Ohio State is it for him, right? Yeah,

2:52

so they'll have a shape Michigan for Tony.

2:54

Yeah for Tony. Oh, you know, we

2:56

go out in Austin we're all pretty beat up after

2:58

a night out she's like right after Thanksgiving and

3:01

He's like you have to be at this

3:03

bar tomorrow morning for the game. It

3:06

is Ohio State. It is Michigan You have to

3:08

go. It's the game It's about

3:10

930 in the morning. I'm peeling myself off this bed

3:12

trying to get up and go to this bar He's

3:15

got a jersey waiting for me all this and it's literally

3:17

me Shane Tony

3:19

and Jamie Joe's producer and

3:22

we probably had he just got to Austin

3:25

So he really hadn't been out in the

3:27

streets very much and we had an absolute

3:29

day on 6th Street in Austin There's nothing

3:31

better than day drinking. It's there's nothing better

3:33

than day drinks In

3:36

my opinion the reason I'll never quit drinking is

3:38

because of day drinking if you told me Hey,

3:40

man, if I sat down in an AA

3:42

meeting and they were like, here's the deal. We just misread

3:44

the book You can day drink you

3:47

just can't night drink. You got to

3:49

call it it like you got to call it like I Set

3:52

when it gets real dark not a sunset, but when it

3:54

gets real dark, I'd be like I'll

3:56

be on meetings every day. Fuck. Yeah, I can get

3:58

in what I need to get done during the day.

4:00

By the time eight or nine o'clock rolls around, I'm

4:02

good to go home. And

4:04

it as as photographs the have vehemence a you

4:06

see my you have a good handle on how

4:09

boy on Instagram southern of see my job. decent

4:11

handle on been able to turn it on when

4:13

you need to go and be unable to turn

4:15

off all the that's gotta be an acquired skill

4:17

I haven't always as. It's

4:20

I read about Zuma. I just recently

4:22

had like a had a run where

4:25

I got wilde out of control. Like

4:27

just not even bad. Like I don't

4:29

think. I'm. I think if he

4:32

deceived me, Alcide bird are. Internally

4:34

I realize I was like of have ghanem were

4:36

really bad. I was nervous be as fat. I'm.

4:39

Not I'm not getting into the gym as much

4:41

as I want to. And so I

4:43

just a pulled back for like three months

4:45

and then. And. Then not amends,

4:47

want my cruz and then cranked up what are

4:49

you what he called us all times you've gone

4:51

banners I still I still am trying to come

4:53

up with the new word for probably the stretch

4:55

of a. If. I go on more

4:57

of the real. go on vacation for a week

5:00

and then just won't come back home for three

5:02

weeks now. turn a one week vacation and and

5:04

two or three at all really want to call

5:06

it when say it's a bender necessarily. Bender Like

5:08

benders. People's Summit on benders. Before we bought been

5:10

on, been as gentle and the past that like

5:12

us, a blur. Are you gonna wake up and

5:14

you'll a group of what the hell's going on

5:17

type of thing? I wouldn't call these vendors. I'm

5:19

looking for a new word for it for sure,

5:21

right? So I have appears right, call, get a

5:23

gum on the wagon, were like and then out

5:25

and then appears were like. Ride the Horse.

5:27

Stress says I run a horse at full

5:29

sprint and there's nothing more exciting and there

5:32

is a feeling. When. You're realizing

5:34

him and there's no rules to for

5:36

tonight. I will have a them due

5:38

tomorrow. Or the wakes up and go to

5:40

a bar marine rather work hard and get more going

5:42

to fuckin' put it away wet. And we're

5:44

going to get it up in the morning and be

5:47

like yo Yo Ride again today! I love I love

5:49

Cut Loose and will think I'll ever. I

5:51

don't think. and I think that's one of the things.

5:54

That I just. It's

5:57

done artist reason I'll never use of only reason

5:59

never could drink cause there's a. There's.

6:01

A fun like i'm a taxi was saying right now.

6:04

Because he I have a car I do. These things

6:06

are concept or shows. Where. I tell everyone

6:08

don't go to work. I'm

6:10

doing a Jos Club at noon. It's Winston

6:12

Churchill's Bert the day died. So. I.

6:15

Wake. Up. I. Have cigar for

6:17

breakfast, saw scotch and or zeus

6:19

in bed with coffee and a

6:21

paper. I said there for three

6:24

hours, finished his car, maybe have another saw

6:26

scotch, take a bath and abolish amp aim,

6:28

put on a fuckin three piece suit and

6:30

I go to jazz club at noon and

6:33

it sold out and like fuckin three minutes

6:35

because everyone loves that reason that a drink

6:37

and I texted singular Lego yo. Ah,

6:42

But. A drunken on twenty that the same

6:44

someone. Who. Will always deny like

6:46

oh, as I can't I can't I

6:48

can't Not me. I'm by mom, Try

6:50

to be healthy. But. I bully the

6:52

fuck outta that guy and I'll be like m

6:54

I wrote a wrote to him. This is my

6:56

favorite. Taxed. I

6:58

wrote the same ah in only put the

7:01

glasses on a serious fuck him up so

7:03

old at the. I. Wrote the

7:05

same. Ah, I

7:09

said you'd be and tell him and twenty four thing as

7:11

I should be. A summit club at noon

7:13

when since her till day com drink with me

7:16

and he goes know. And. I said

7:18

I couldn't do it cause it's work to

7:20

so do a spot. He said no I

7:22

said it's can be a glass or school

7:24

start drinking and eight am he goes. Saw.

7:27

Is Scary. My. And I love

7:29

the opportunity more than anything to change your mind.

7:31

This is gonna be my project for the next

7:33

two weeks. And trust me, when you start drinking

7:35

with me on January twenty fourth at Ten am

7:37

it'll be the happiest I've ever made me wrote

7:40

I know it was an awesome the I'm I

7:42

have become the those the southern states are so

7:44

so it dies. It's so. Fuckin.

7:47

Fun! It I've I've I

7:49

did a viral speech on barstool about

7:51

while never quit drinking as others with

7:54

the best is breaking someone's spirit. Like.

7:56

breaking them and watching them say

8:00

All right, fuck it. Like that's the greatest. And it's

8:02

great when it happens to me. Like I love when

8:04

it happens to me when I go, no, no, no,

8:06

no, no, no, I'm not, I'm actually, I'm

8:09

kind of keeping, trying to stay healthy and

8:11

so, and then there's certain people, and Shane's

8:13

one of those people who can break me

8:15

every, Rogan breaks me every time. Yeah, because

8:17

Rogan always hits me up with these like,

8:19

yo man, you gotta be healthy, you know,

8:21

but polar plunge, sauna, testosterone. And when it

8:23

comes, it comes in a way, but when

8:25

he wants to flip you off that script

8:27

and get you to somewhere else, you

8:30

just break your spirit like that, it just crumbles.

8:32

One whiskey, one whiskey. That's it?

8:34

Yeah, come on, it's three. And

8:36

you're like, then it's over. I'll do

8:39

one. What's that point here? And then there's

8:41

a couple of times where Joe's sitting on the corner watching

8:43

me ride the horse in the field back and forth, and

8:45

he's just like, dude, he's going fast as fuck, he's gonna

8:47

fall. I

8:49

think he probably takes a little joy in that too. Now

8:51

that you're speaking about it, and I think about it, the more time

8:54

I spend at Minsie's in Austin,

8:56

the more time I spend around the mothership, Tony

8:58

does the same thing to me. He knows exactly

9:00

how to get me in my little niche

9:02

to bring out, I think it's, looking

9:05

at it from a different point, I think that's a

9:08

group of good guys who are able to pull out

9:10

the best in people. Pull out a side of people,

9:12

a side of yourself, that for me,

9:14

the way my life has gone, I feel like I'm

9:17

a little more regarded in the party and stuff, and

9:19

just try not to show it too much. I'm still

9:21

very much in the same boat as you, where I'm

9:24

a guy, I enjoy my life, I'm gonna

9:26

live my life to the fullest, and

9:29

do things to put a smile on my face. And when

9:31

you get around people that bring out the best in you,

9:34

even when you don't wanna do it, even when you may be on

9:36

a different path, and you look back at

9:38

it and it really didn't hinder you or affect you that much,

9:40

in the grand scheme of things, I have

9:42

some of my best stories, from best memories

9:44

from times like this. Oh, someone

9:48

said to me, when I stopped drinking, it

9:51

was like a dude, everyone in recovery always wants

9:53

to tell you, you're an alcoholic and you have

9:55

a problem, and they're always really, I

9:58

think it's, Was

10:00

it displacement where they tell you their feelings

10:02

and I just had bobby lee tell me yesterday he goes, you know, you're

10:05

an alcoholic and I was like Yeah, i'm

10:07

not you Like I I

10:09

respect that I I hear your opinion, but

10:11

i'm me My wife doesn't say it. My

10:13

kids don't say it. My parents don't say it.

10:15

My sisters don't say it Like that's where that's

10:17

where my head's at and I know me I

10:20

know what I know what it must be like

10:22

to be you but i'm just me and so you I

10:24

I hear you I love you but I'm

10:28

doing good. But but the thing

10:30

about guys like joe is

10:32

joe just inspires you in

10:35

like He I

10:37

I always say I hung I only hang around

10:39

mother motherfuckers I say i'm a mako shark around

10:41

a bunch of great whites You can't

10:44

tell that i'm not a great white up close Like

10:46

when they're all attacking they're like, oh he's badass and

10:48

then but when some of them are self sometimes you're

10:50

like wait That's not a great white So

10:52

that's a that's a level of just what you're

10:54

talking about is just self-awareness and knowing yourself You

10:57

know people look at my life your life from

10:59

what you see through instagram what we show them

11:01

what you put out to the world But being

11:03

self-aware and knowing yourself and knowing what you are

11:05

how you operate how you tick And

11:08

you know, we'll probably be sitting here looking back on

11:10

this maybe one day down the line and be like

11:12

what damn two alcoholics doing a podcast We'll be we'll

11:14

be in rehab together going man. We should have we'll

11:17

be in passage The The

11:22

one thing I identified the most with you and I

11:24

and I I've watched

11:27

your documentary. I think I dm'd you in

11:29

the middle of your documentary on uh on

11:31

netflix and i've watched a lot of your

11:33

stuff I watched I loved

11:37

Everything about watching you play. It was so

11:40

fun. I loved watching your life and

11:42

the one thing I identified the most with was

11:47

your ability to say This

11:50

actually wasn't for me. I understand that for

11:53

everyone on the outside looking in This

11:55

was the life you wanted for me, but

11:58

when I got there, this isn't what I actually wanted.

12:00

I had I went to a

12:03

party one time when I was a young comic, I was married

12:05

to my wife, I was dating my wife, and there was this

12:07

comic who was better than me, he was already doing bigger things

12:09

than me and he quit. And I remember

12:11

going like, what the fuck? This is my

12:13

mindset. You only fail if you quit,

12:15

you only fail if you quit. And they were

12:17

having a going away party in LA and I said, I can't go. She

12:20

goes, what I don't want to celebrate losing.

12:22

And that was my mindset. And my

12:24

wife, who's the smartest person I know,

12:27

said, how brave of him

12:29

to decide this isn't what he wants. And

12:32

I said, what? She goes, you don't have that bravery.

12:35

Like this guy's saying to all his friends, I've

12:37

tried this and I want something else. And

12:40

I was like floored. And this guy now

12:42

has like three kids lives in Boston, has

12:44

his own insurance company. He's happy as fuck.

12:46

He's not partying at all. He like has

12:49

parties with his friends on the weekend. But

12:51

he still loves comedy. He still loves it.

12:53

I was like, oh wait, yeah,

12:55

I just love comedy too. Like he just has a

12:57

beautiful life. And I went and that chain and I,

13:00

I swear to God, when I watched your thing, I

13:02

thought of the conversation with my wife because

13:06

the average

13:08

person, my friends, all

13:10

my friends, I'll name

13:13

them so they can hear this. South

13:15

Caranate, Kamen Lazara, Sean Hooker, Jay Lanford,

13:17

Blake Casper, Jeff Hartley, Jason Clark, I

13:19

can name all of them. We

13:22

all fucking peaked in college. Like we had,

13:24

you had these moments where you were like,

13:27

you were like, fuck yeah. And then there

13:29

is a moment where you have to say

13:31

to yourself, fuck, I guess I'm not

13:33

gonna be a doctor or I won't be a

13:35

lawyer. I'm not gonna be a politician because you,

13:37

everyone has these grand dreams. You on the other

13:39

hand, got to achieve a lot of these dreams

13:41

and then realize like all

13:43

dudes out there, fuck,

13:46

this isn't the life for me. Yeah, I knew it

13:48

really quickly. It's funny that you said, I mean, I

13:50

appreciate you saying that because you really did hit the

13:52

nail on the head in that sense. And that's kind

13:54

of what I wanted. You know, the

13:56

documentary for me was such a freeing, like get

13:58

a chance, you know, for a long time

14:00

after everything happened and leaving the NFL and doing all this,

14:02

I went into a reclusive mode. I

14:05

went into how do I make this disappear

14:07

and I really felt the weight of what

14:09

everybody else was saying about how my life

14:11

should be lived. I knew from

14:14

a very early time when I got to Cleveland, damn,

14:18

maybe this isn't... I went really, really

14:20

far down this path and maybe this

14:23

isn't what I enjoy doing anymore. And slowly

14:25

but surely, day by day, month by month, then

14:27

joy and the love that I have for

14:29

the game of football just slowly started to

14:31

drain. I remember in Texas A&M as

14:33

we're going out to a practice field, I'm as

14:35

chipper and upbeat and happy as you could be

14:37

going to practice to get better. When

14:40

I would put a helmet on and walk out the door in Cleveland

14:42

onto that cold ass field, I would sit there and be like,

14:44

man, I can't wait for this final whistle to blow

14:47

and get out of here. And when you're doing something

14:49

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14:51

mindset and that's where you are genuinely on the

14:53

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14:55

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18:22

school, loved it. Greatest group of friends. I

18:24

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18:31

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18:36

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18:38

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18:40

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18:44

then I remember coach Martin said to me, you're not

18:46

going to start, but we can always use

18:48

a bullpen catcher. And I

18:50

remember thinking, Oh, these guys

18:53

would relish that opportunity. I

18:55

will not spend six years, five

18:57

years being grinding your ass off to be a

18:59

bullpen guy. And his coach and his son, Mike

19:01

Martin was a catcher also ended up playing for

19:04

the Expos. And I knew that his son

19:06

was a catcher because I think we were supposed to play Legion

19:08

ball in the summer. And I bailed on that, bailed on that

19:10

to party. And

19:12

I walked off the field. I

19:15

remember I had a pledge pin on too. And he was like,

19:17

you can take that shit off. I was like, we're not allowed

19:19

to take it off. I don't know if you know about hazing,

19:21

but it's pretty breakfast. Actually I don't know. Coach,

19:24

if you could just keep on the DL, I'm going to keep

19:27

it on. And I walked off.

19:29

I walked down left field foul

19:33

line to where the bill plan catchers were and

19:35

the pitchers were throwing. And

19:37

I kept walking. I just, I couldn't stop

19:40

it all the way to the bar. I

19:42

walked out the left field fence. I walked,

19:45

I walked to my

19:47

dorm, chili Willie, Paul, Paul,

19:49

Paul, Paul, I fuck

19:51

Paul. I can't remember Paul's last name

19:53

Chandler and PJ were all smoking

19:56

weed in the, in my dorm room.

19:58

And we used to this thing called time travel. Where.

20:00

We had. A we had aluminum foil

20:02

macabre poked holes with lights were sort look

20:05

like stars and we the people you're highly

20:07

on the ground and just pretend we were

20:09

in space. And. I still and

20:11

a full baseball uniform. Laid.

20:13

Down Smoke Pot look to their and I was like

20:15

i think I'm a don't Kim I liked his Partington.

20:18

Think I'm a really lean into the partying. And

20:20

it it worked out. What a what a

20:23

while diverse in there at that point time

20:25

looking back on then everybody around you at

20:27

any sense or any. You. Know grown

20:29

up in them or any type of you know

20:31

success story member board you're going to go up.

20:33

Don't be like you know what? I'm going to

20:35

pursue this career of. Doing. What the fuck

20:38

I want and having a good time with it? And.

20:40

It's crazy until it works out. Know it's

20:42

crazy until you see here today and you're

20:44

going on tours around the country doing what

20:46

makes you happy as I think for me.

20:49

Now if the football stuff has you, go down

20:52

here. You know your rookies. you draft in the

20:54

first round santa five year deal. he knows you're

20:56

a year and a this you realize oh fuck

20:58

you know this is it. And.

21:00

Know. This is and what I

21:02

thought it was gonna be. This is a what's making

21:04

me happy and this is where my life's or to

21:06

change and I think I didn't know how to get

21:08

out of it. In was a twenty one twenty two

21:10

year old old you to get out of. nobody wanted

21:12

to. There was too much money riding on, there was

21:14

too much. Of fame and notoriety in

21:16

there. So then I was never enough for that,

21:18

You know, when I played my best and I.

21:21

Played. The way that you saw on

21:23

Saturdays and and Kyle Field in college

21:25

football. That was all genuine, organic, In.

21:28

Love and passion for the game, and when

21:30

it got the next level, I never have

21:32

one single time ever got a sliver of

21:34

that same kind. Use. That same

21:36

time to buzz So you're sitting there with

21:38

in or three years left on a five

21:40

year deal on all this money and all

21:42

these endorsements and all the stuff. I didn't

21:44

have the ability or the wherewithal to sit

21:47

down and look somebody in the face my

21:49

dad, or somebody be like. Hey

21:51

man, we need to start planning for a

21:53

different avenue of planning on. You know there

21:55

was no. From.

21:58

where i come from from texas If

22:00

you get to the point that I got to, football

22:02

is always life from the time you're 12 years old,

22:05

14, 16, 18,

22:08

play at a Texas, you know, college,

22:10

a major college. It's what you do.

22:12

You know, it's everything. It's what makes you

22:15

huge. It's what makes your ego

22:17

big. It's what makes your name, your brand.

22:19

Everything is all about football in the state of Texas. So

22:22

how do you go to a full

22:24

group of Texas people, my family, my agent,

22:26

my everybody, and look them in the face

22:28

and be like, we got to

22:30

find a different avenue for what I'm going to do in life

22:32

and where I'm going to go from this because this is

22:35

not sustainable. This is not

22:37

something that I can keep up this charade

22:39

in this game that I'm having to play

22:41

to be in this position. I

22:43

don't have the ability to do. And that's a

22:46

tough thing. It took me a long time to

22:48

really look back and realize that. I can't imagine.

22:51

I can't imagine all. I'm

22:54

curious. I'm curious. Two things.

22:57

Do you think? I don't know if you had played

22:59

all the whole time at Texas A&M. That's a

23:02

good question. Do you think you would have had

23:04

a different approach to the NFL? So

23:07

what you're talking about, about how you

23:09

wanted to be a part here and you

23:11

wanted to do this and you ended

23:13

up making a career out of it. Unfortunately,

23:15

that's somewhat frowned upon as you're an

23:17

NFL quarterback. So

23:21

the NFL quarterback life that I saw

23:23

except for Brett Favre. Except for Brett

23:25

Favre. If I had an

23:27

arm like Brett Favre, I probably would have got away with it.

23:30

And for Brett Favre too, this is something I saw

23:33

you had Jules on the other day. Me

23:35

and Edelman have known each other and been

23:37

in somewhat similar circles for years. Look

23:40

at that guy's story and the opportunity that

23:42

he got to go into with a team

23:44

like the New England Patriots. With a coach

23:46

like Bill Belichick where he gets to sit

23:49

on this couch and tell you amazing stories

23:51

that will lighten you up on the

23:53

inside about how awesome Tom Brady was,

23:55

about how awesome the guys he had

23:57

around him was. I had that with

23:59

the guys. in Cleveland. Unfortunately, I didn't

24:01

have that with the entirety of the organization.

24:04

So getting to, I was

24:07

just in a different situation, a different place in the

24:09

sense that I didn't get that love. My

24:11

confidence in my game shrunk to

24:14

a minuscule level by the time

24:16

I got there. And going back

24:18

to what we were talking about, the A&M

24:20

situation, I don't think I could have

24:22

stayed two years longer just because

24:24

of what my off the field looked like. Yeah,

24:26

Tuesdays were Taco Tuesday straight to

24:29

the bar. Wednesday was this. So

24:31

for my first year at A&M, my freshman year

24:33

when I went to Heisman, I'm in the best

24:36

shape on the team. I got in trouble before

24:38

that season. I had a fake ID. It was

24:40

July 4th. I love that you got fake ID's

24:42

from China out of a toy car. I feel

24:45

fucking greatest. I feel greatest forever. I'll never forget

24:47

it. I remember seeing this website.

24:49

This guy came back, he picked a state and

24:52

it comes in a remote control toy car and

24:54

it came to the house. I think my mom

24:56

actually got it. She's like, you got a toy

24:58

car here at the house for you. I'm in the

25:00

car already burning

25:04

rubber through College Station in this

25:06

truck to go pick this up. But my mom,

25:08

don't touch it, just leave it there. She's like,

25:11

she thinks it's a bomb or something. She doesn't

25:13

know what it is the way that I'm reacting.

25:15

And I get two perfect

25:17

fake IDs out of the bottom

25:19

of the toy car. You take it apart and they were

25:21

right there on top. I can't believe the Anna. And I've

25:23

seen a lot of content

25:25

on you. I have so many notes on

25:28

this. I have so many

25:30

notes on this because okay, I start

25:32

with the fake IDs. I heard one guy be like,

25:34

and then can you imagine he handed

25:36

another fake ID to a cop and I went, yeah,

25:39

yeah, you guys call rolling the fucking dice. You

25:41

just don't get it. That's also the guy that

25:43

decides to fucking run from the 40 yard line.

25:46

And that's your understanding as a fucking pro athlete.

25:48

You don't, you take chances. Like you, you're

25:50

not, you make internet videos and you

25:52

criticize greatness and greatness. Hands another fake

25:54

ID to a cop. That's what you

25:56

do. The way, the way I played

25:58

on the field. equally as entertaining

26:01

off the field I would say.

26:03

So I just remember this day like it

26:05

was yesterday getting these IDs July 4th I

26:07

go to the got to test

26:09

it out right away. You have to go straight

26:11

to the nearest place that has the most lax

26:15

restrictions on ID. My big brother Mark Small

26:17

she gave me his ID and I took

26:19

his small bus I took his ID and

26:21

I tested it out with dip or with

26:23

a with a six-pack of

26:25

Michelob lights first and I

26:27

it worked and I went we're

26:30

in. I remember being able to get Keystone but I

26:32

could find somebody who would go maybe buy me a

26:34

couple 30 packs of Keystone and you just make it

26:36

last and then when I got this fake ID I

26:39

must have been feeling really bold that day. This

26:41

is a college kid now that's $700

26:43

stipend check you would get every month you

26:46

know you kind of had to make it last a

26:48

little bit longer it went pretty quick if you were

26:50

just trying to be the man in college thousand dollars

26:52

doesn't get you very far. So I remember when I

26:54

get these IDs I must have been in the best

26:56

mood ever I go straight to the grocery

26:58

store see this huge display and

27:00

I'm like you know what I can drink fucking Budweiser

27:03

now. If I have this fake ID I can afford

27:05

this. Red white and blue cans

27:07

I'm like these are the coolest thing in the world.

27:10

Those Budweisers led to Irish car bombs

27:12

straight to Patron shots and it's literally

27:14

like a scene I tell the story

27:16

it's a scene I got

27:18

a limitless Bradley Cooper where he's

27:21

just like it's great movie starts to it

27:23

starts to like phase him

27:25

a little bit and then he's like browning out and then

27:27

he'll be 20 blocks down the road

27:29

and then he blacks Browns back in yeah

27:31

Browns back out so I just

27:33

remember this slow limitless Bradley Cooper kind

27:35

of walk through the park of Northgate

27:38

and then the next thing I know I'm in handcuffs and

27:40

this guy is asking me you know where's your ID

27:42

and I just remember the first thing out of my

27:44

mouth was like just take my wallet out my back pocket

27:46

there's three of them in there. One

27:51

should be good enough to work. One should

27:53

be good enough to work. And The memory I have

27:55

of that night is just his face when I said

27:57

there's three of them in there. Boy

28:00

were my best friend Stephen Breyer

28:02

as the slides. Five.

28:05

Foot Six Star receiver at my high school

28:07

whenever I was in school. When to and

28:09

and what made this is my road dogg

28:12

you are we all have one of those.

28:14

Had the time. And. You know, I tell

28:16

this cop this and he's looking. They may the left

28:18

the man he is. And way better

28:20

shape than I am at this point

28:22

he's looking to me undies just spot

28:24

ideas in the stolen by the bush

28:26

and I'm just incapable eggs have only

28:28

they're probably do as as like roll

28:30

over and lay on the ground. Next

28:34

day we get out of jail and go

28:36

back to that exact spot. And if she

28:38

does it, picks his fucking fake Id up

28:41

out of the bush right behind where we

28:43

got arrested. He got away with it. That

28:45

sneaky son of a bitch wide receiver for

28:47

your. Last. Man

28:50

hours, The wives of crap the and I school in

28:52

a league that would. Ban.

28:56

I look back I look back to fake Id.

28:58

my dad's of my from the my dad's scared

29:00

me really bad like throughout my life he has

29:02

anxiety and so he was like. A

29:05

members i was a my fox had a had it

29:07

like. In a little and

29:10

he goes though success know it's oh

29:12

adobe be cool those fake Id is

29:14

my older brother and his dirty. And

29:16

he was like out were taken as right now

29:19

as it was because you know have to give

29:21

over this the to jail and they piss on

29:23

you know at what music is your mouth as

29:25

with a diverse other welcoming to jail you a

29:27

good as new album or like though fuck know

29:29

for for mrs I went without a fake Id

29:31

for a full year and just I i i

29:33

was was interesting also and i say this and

29:35

that I can imagine the feeling. Negative.

29:38

Replies at we Get Them as

29:40

Comics We had a negative comments

29:42

and people comment on or comedy.

29:44

And. What's frustrating?

29:47

For. Us. Is sometimes

29:49

the comment that is the most

29:51

hurtful is actually funny is fucking

29:53

shit. So than man in the

29:56

comments are doing something that is what

29:58

you do. and are doing at a higher

30:00

level because not at a higher level,

30:02

but in that moment, it stings and

30:04

it's funny. And then you see the 79

30:06

replies and you're like, Oh fuck. But

30:09

as a pro athlete, you're

30:11

getting critiques from people that can't do what

30:13

you do, that have never done

30:15

what you do, but seem to have this, for

30:20

lack of better words, arrogance that they can

30:22

now pick you apart. And

30:26

I can't imagine what

30:29

comments must feel like or what

30:32

criticism must feel like when

30:34

you're like, you

30:36

put on the pads once. I

30:39

could never. I will say it's a

30:41

very fine line. I think my

30:44

fame and football success came at

30:46

such an early age from a

30:48

family that we were

30:52

very normal people in the sense

30:54

that we were a

30:56

close knit family that had never dealt with

30:58

much of the outside world. We were kind

31:00

of just Texas people. We didn't travel very

31:02

much. We weren't gallivanting around the globe or

31:05

anything like that. We were very in our

31:07

own little bubble. We went from small

31:09

hill country town outside of Austin. My family came

31:11

to college station when I went there. And then

31:13

when you get to that level that I got

31:15

to at one point in time, it's

31:18

a huge learning curve for not only yourself,

31:20

but what I didn't realize is how much

31:22

it affected my family as well. So

31:25

not only are they saying stuff about you, they're

31:27

saying stuff about this or that. And then

31:29

as a defense mechanism, just based off where

31:32

you are, I remember my sister firing back

31:34

at everybody, every comment defending her big brother.

31:36

And this was like a, I remember

31:38

it was yesterday, a very testy

31:42

time in our whole family. What

31:45

people are saying online not only affected me,

31:47

but the entirety of my family, relationships, this

31:49

and that. And at that

31:51

time, 2012, 13, social media was at a

31:54

very, very different point than it is now.

31:57

A very new age where you spit

31:59

out anything. And you see it and

32:01

it's in your face or it's in the news

32:03

or it's used as media And

32:05

it was a very trying time for us. I think

32:07

in that regard and And

32:10

it took me a long time to get to the point

32:12

where you can laugh at yourself And if you don't have

32:14

the ability to laugh at yourself You're

32:18

gonna be in a lot of trouble, you know Sometimes

32:20

like you're saying when you see those replies under a

32:22

comment like that that you know stings and you know

32:24

it hurts You know it

32:26

is truly genuinely fucking funny and you're in

32:29

the business of fucking funny So you can't

32:31

you know take it in the right way and laugh at it and

32:34

be like, you know what you got burn you're

32:36

gonna be met with even

32:38

more criticism from it because your

32:41

initial reaction is to Fire

32:43

back and jump down somebody's throat and you don't

32:45

take it in a comedic You

32:48

know jokey kind of way and play off

32:50

it You're gonna get absolutely eviscerated

32:53

and the burn that you applied on yourself

32:55

is even worse. There was a dude there

32:58

was a dude who did a podcast

33:00

it was another guy that I I know and

33:04

All I saw was the title was Bert Kreischer

33:06

and I was like, oh that they gotta be

33:08

celebrating me because I know one of the guys

33:10

Right. So I immediately I

33:13

don't even fucking watch the thing. I just followed I

33:15

make sure I follow both of them I was like

33:17

fucking solid and then I follow follow

33:19

and then the clips on that one guy's page I

33:21

hit it like I should hear this out and

33:23

the guy just goes how fucking annoying is Bert Kreischer?

33:26

I was like, oh I was

33:28

like, that's not my intent. I Understand

33:30

like if you think I'm annoying you should wake up

33:32

with me I fucking find myself really annoying and then

33:34

he just lit me up Now I

33:37

had to DM him because I knew that I followed

33:39

him. I was like, hey, man, I

33:41

followed you. I I saw

33:43

the clip No hate

33:45

like I just you know Sorry,

33:47

you feel that way but like I just want to give

33:49

you a heads up I know what's his name and I

33:51

and then he wrote back really cool. He was like, dude,

33:54

I Don't think I thought

33:56

you'd ever see this and I've done

33:58

that on pot. I've done that work I

34:00

light people up, light them up.

34:02

I've used your name twice. There's two things I don't believe

34:04

in this world. There's two things I don't believe. Three things

34:06

really, because I'm going to put Tim Tebow in this group.

34:09

I can't believe you still don't play professional football, and I

34:11

can't believe Jared is in jail for fucking

34:13

molesting kids. I just can't believe it. I

34:16

just go, for real, for real, like for

34:18

real, and Tim Tebow. Like

34:20

Tim Tebow is the one because he is

34:23

like the perfect example of not

34:26

every great college quarterback is meant to play in

34:29

the NFL. For whatever fucking reason, there

34:31

is the translation different. I

34:34

don't know if coaches run it more, or if

34:37

the fun style of the quarterback we love

34:39

in college doesn't translate. I don't know what

34:41

it is. I think I probably have a

34:43

little bit more of an idea of what

34:45

it could be. I think more than anything,

34:47

life is about finding your purpose, what

34:50

you're really truly good at. Just because you're

34:52

truly gifted at something at some point in

34:54

time in your life doesn't mean it's meant

34:56

to be forever. Tebow,

34:59

from what I see and what I know of

35:02

him, his purpose that he's fulfilling in life right

35:04

now seems to be bigger than the game of

35:06

football. In his regard,

35:08

in his right for what he believes in and for

35:10

who he is, his purpose seems to

35:13

be driven by something different. That's

35:18

why I'm okay and wouldn't change things for really

35:20

anything in the world. I like to go back

35:23

and do things a little smarter in this and

35:25

that, sure, but I don't think it would have

35:27

made the outcome any different because if your purpose

35:29

and your passion is not behind it, how

35:32

can you be successful? I look at Tebow's

35:34

story in a situation that's like, you

35:36

want to know who a guy who was in the

35:38

fucking gym every day from 5 a.m. to fucking 7,

35:40

who was watching film, every bit of film, who

35:44

was out there doing air drills

35:46

and air routes on the field in

35:48

Foxborough in the fucking cold. I

35:50

don't know who was doing all that and it still didn't work out.

35:53

Fucking Tim Tebow. And you know what? I

35:55

met his sister and I heard

35:57

someone say something shitty to his sister about Tim Tebow.

36:01

And I remember going, why the fuck

36:03

would you do? Like there's, I mean

36:05

this with love because I have done it,

36:07

I'm sure I've done it. I'm just saying,

36:09

I'm accountable for everything. Meaning I'm

36:11

sure I've done things. So I'm not gonna say I've never done

36:13

it. But some

36:16

dude at my daughter's college went

36:18

up to my daughter at a

36:21

party drunk, I'm sure. And was like, your

36:23

dad's movie sucked. And my daughter

36:25

was like, that's not how I wanted to

36:27

spend my Saturday. And she just went home

36:29

and was like, cool, and didn't

36:31

tell me. And then we're skiing

36:33

and the other day, last

36:36

weekend we were snowboarding. And

36:38

I said, I can't imagine what it's like.

36:41

It was a great moment, really great moment

36:43

with my daughter and I said it. And

36:45

people were interrupting us to take pictures and

36:48

we couldn't have our moment. And

36:50

I said to her very casually, I can't imagine what it's

36:52

like to have me as a dad. And

36:54

she goes, it's fucking tough. And

36:56

then she told me that happened and I wanted to find

36:58

that fucking kid. Because

37:00

I know if I walked up, that kid would lose his fucking

37:03

mind and be like, dude, the machine, I fucking love your movie.

37:05

No one does that to your face. Of course, no, never. They'd

37:07

be like, oh, you're fucking wrong. Never. Unless

37:09

his boys are around, he's like, get your camera out. I'm

37:11

gonna light this bitch up. But you, I'm sure now, and

37:13

if you're in any, for the most part, most

37:16

people in the position that we're in where if

37:18

you go around and you're meeting people and you're

37:20

getting interrupted from your normal life to take a

37:22

picture or talk to somebody, I love

37:24

doing it. I am an absolute people

37:26

person for the most part, unless you catch me on

37:28

a really, really bad day. Like I'm

37:30

gonna sit down and have a conversation with you no matter

37:32

what's going on in my family, being

37:34

there or whatever. But it's,

37:38

I mean, you know this, it takes a journey

37:40

in your own right to be able to handle

37:42

certain situations in the right way. And you

37:45

know that, I wanna find this guy and do this

37:47

is such an easy natural inclination

37:49

as a human being to do that. And at

37:51

the end of the day, it gets you nowhere

37:53

and this and that. You have to understand

37:55

that a lot of people in life, they're

37:59

living the life that they're in. miserable end with no

38:01

purpose, with no drive or

38:03

trying to figure out their own struggles in life

38:05

and then they say certain things

38:07

or just blur certain things out because in

38:09

their own right they're unhappy. They

38:11

have their own shit that they're going through so why not put

38:14

somebody down to try and bring you down to their level and

38:16

that's the way I look at it now and I think it

38:18

takes a long time to be able to get to the point

38:20

where if you see something said

38:22

about you or anything for the most

38:24

part if it's somebody I respect I'll just reach out

38:27

to you directly right away. I remember

38:29

after seeing the pod you

38:31

did with Jules I

38:33

was like my natural inclination was like

38:35

both the post, follow his podcast and

38:38

be like send him a DM

38:40

and be like you know what bro if I have a big

38:42

time to you at one point throughout our time of running into

38:46

each other or crossing the same paths you know what

38:48

that's my fucking bad. I was in

38:50

a place where I was in a fucking whirlwind I

38:52

was really on the bender back then so if I

38:54

did anything to disrespect you that's so out of character

38:56

for me you know what that one's on me I

38:58

would love to buy you a beer next time and

39:01

hopefully we can fucking move forward and get over it

39:03

and that's exactly what you know

39:05

I do with the majority of my life

39:07

now like people come and disrespect me

39:09

in a certain way you know I fire

39:12

back with more peace, happiness

39:14

and love and just positivity

39:16

and that's like so

39:19

weird you know a lot of the things that I'm

39:21

doing I think in my life now are things I

39:23

would have called corny and cheesy and like far

39:26

from character for me but I

39:30

think a big purpose of my life that

39:33

I'm slowly like finding out is to be

39:36

uplifting right have a story that's uplifting I

39:38

have a story that at

39:40

one point in time I didn't think I'd be able to

39:42

sit here doing anything like this today I didn't know if

39:44

I was gonna have the wherewithal to get back to a

39:46

point in my life where I could stand on my feet

39:49

come down to Tucson do a podcast and like have a

39:51

good time in life and do what I'm enjoy doing I

39:53

didn't know if I would ever get back to that point

39:55

I don't think I think a lot of us a

39:58

lot of us that watch your journey was like I

40:00

hope, I don't know what this will be, but I

40:03

hope it turns out good. I think a lot of people are

40:05

like, I hope he gets back in the NFL. Yeah. And, or

40:07

I hope he goes to the CFL or what we know. I

40:09

think a lot of us thought that, and

40:11

I don't think any of us saw this journey where you're

40:13

like, you seem so genuinely

40:15

happy and grounded in being around

40:18

your buddies and, and living this fulfilled

40:20

life where you're like still true to

40:23

who you are playing golf.

40:25

And, and I, and

40:27

I think, I think sometimes not enough people

40:29

can understand that that

40:32

is also their journey. Like I,

40:34

that's the only takeaway I

40:36

had was like, this is kind

40:39

of everyone's story. Everyone's got

40:41

this moment where they go,

40:43

I need, I need to really

40:45

find out what's important to me. And,

40:48

and for a lot of people, a

40:50

lot of us never got the golden

40:52

child thing. Like you, you got put

40:55

weight on your shoulders at an age, what, 19, 18 years

40:57

old that I

40:59

can't imagine dealing with. And, and I've seen, and

41:01

we've seen a lot of people have

41:04

a hard time struggling with this, but none of us get it.

41:06

I didn't get it in standup and I watched dudes get it

41:08

and women get it. And

41:10

I watched him fold and I watched them

41:12

fucking meltdown. And,

41:15

and I, and then I was, and then when

41:17

I got luck, I got lucky enough to get

41:19

success later in life. I

41:21

was like, Oh wow. Thank

41:24

God. This didn't happen to me when I wanted it. I

41:26

wanted it so bad when we were pregnant with Georgia.

41:28

I wanted it so bad. I wanted

41:31

it so bad. And

41:33

I was devastated. I

41:35

took his Xanax drank six Heineken's and

41:38

I was like just floating. Don't you, I

41:40

got this little duck next to me that

41:42

I bought my daughter. I remember you want

41:44

to know something sad. It was

41:47

last comic standing too. I didn't make

41:49

it to the next round. I got

41:51

kicked off and I needed money. I needed

41:53

success. Everyone's getting famous at

41:55

McGarry. Goldman's blowing up being cooks

41:57

a big deal. Jim Norton's on.

42:00

ONA like everyone's everyone around me is like blowing

42:02

up. I remember someone saying

42:04

to me Hey, man, you know,

42:06

you got a lot of good stuff going on You

42:08

got a kid on the way and I remember she's going

42:11

like fuck you You know, fuck

42:13

you I got no money for this kid

42:15

and I bought this little duck and

42:17

I was like, oh I'll get a fucking duck Like

42:19

this at a gift store at the hotel we

42:21

were in and I remember going that night With

42:24

this duck on my bed and I took a Xanax and

42:26

I started drinking I was like, I'm just gonna wait till

42:28

I pass out and this day goes away and

42:30

the next day was even worse and and And

42:34

then I look back and I go what a blessing that was to

42:37

have that failure Have

42:39

all those failures add up to a little bit

42:41

of successes and for me it was like It

42:45

was like thank God I didn't have the pressure I don't

42:48

think enough people realize what

42:50

that pressure is like to go into a room and I'm sure

42:53

you've been there when you're young and Everyone's

42:56

talking and everyone seems to know what they're

42:58

fucking saying and you're just going I throw

43:01

a football really good Like I'm not

43:03

right and I run it a little bit Better

43:06

than fucking better than fucking what's his name?

43:08

That was the craziest that I heard you

43:10

out rushed fucking old boy from From

43:13

the fucking SEC and rushing. Yeah, that's

43:15

right. Yeah, which is Todd Gurley. Yeah.

43:17

Yeah, which is crazy That's

43:20

fucking insane. But then to be

43:22

forced to say like now Your

43:24

brand your business it

43:26

doesn't you know, it's really really

43:28

rare and unless you have You

43:31

know proper people around you to do it

43:33

the right way It's very rare for to

43:35

turn in from a overnight brand and have

43:37

it, you know Be extremely successful and and

43:39

have a longevity about it. I

43:41

think for me I tell people this all the

43:43

time I learned more through the failures than I

43:45

ever learned through, you know, the rise to fame and

43:48

you know It irks me a little bit. Sometimes,

43:50

you know, it's it's a it's a Nice

43:53

genuine gesture to have people come up and be like,

43:55

you know what if I was in your shoes I

43:57

would have done the exact same fucking thing, buddy like

44:00

much love to you, wish you nothing but the best.

44:02

For me, now looking back at it 10

44:05

years later, it's like, damn, like I was

44:07

raised the right way. You know, I was

44:09

raised by amazing parents with good values and

44:12

good morals with the right head on my

44:14

shoulder. And it's just crazy the

44:16

wickedness of the world and what can come around you

44:18

to get you off who you truly are as a

44:20

person, to get you down a path you may not

44:22

meant to be on. But I'm very,

44:25

very firm believer in that everything happens for a

44:27

reason. And, you know, we're

44:29

handed things in our life that

44:31

are true tests. Sometimes you lift them up and

44:33

you make it everything you want it to be.

44:35

And that's you sitting at the top of the

44:37

mountain with your hands raised high. You know, that's

44:40

me sitting in New York, raising the Heisman as

44:42

the first freshman to ever do it in the

44:44

history of the award. And then there's

44:46

times that you're talking about with the duck with

44:49

your head in your hands and a Xanax and six

44:51

Heineken's later and you wake up the next day thinking

44:53

it may be better. And guess what? It's not. It

44:55

was worth it. And you just keep digging and keep

44:57

digging until something clicks inside you to where you approach

44:59

life and see life through a different way. You got

45:02

to see it through a different way. You have to

45:04

be able to I had to get to a place

45:06

where I could and it was

45:08

tough, but celebrate other

45:11

people's success and really love to

45:14

watch people succeed and see

45:16

that that could be

45:18

my path. Like it was it was

45:20

tough. And I and I will

45:22

say say that the one thing that you know, a

45:25

lot of people didn't have and I've witnessed in my

45:27

career is some of these people

45:29

I celebrated and I mean, there

45:31

was one guy that was an older comic and

45:34

he started doing big things. And I remember running into him

45:36

at the airport and I was like, dude, you're

45:38

fucking killing it. I remember he was shocked that

45:40

I'd say that. And I was like,

45:42

you're fucking killing it, man. So happy for you.

45:45

I love what you're doing. And

45:47

then the other day, like I just shit on me on a podcast. I

45:50

was just about to say, you know what, that energy that you

45:53

bring to other people, most of the time it really goes a

45:55

long way. Obviously, obviously,

45:57

man. a

46:00

loser that they want to say and

46:02

now that you know we were talking

46:05

about those fake people and how some

46:07

people would say that to your face

46:09

but behind your back well that's the

46:11

exact same scenario flipped. Yeah it's fucking

46:14

crazy. I'm dying to know this

46:17

is a horrible thing to say. How

46:19

what's the talent like in the CFL? Man

46:22

surprisingly pretty damn good. Really?

46:25

Actually not bad. So the

46:27

CFL was you know

46:29

go to Cleveland get

46:32

cut in Cleveland take a full year off to

46:34

like you know live in LA

46:36

really try and find myself I guess is

46:38

what I was trying to do. You know

46:41

right in the Hollywood Hills right? Yeah

46:44

I was finding myself I guess so you

46:46

know after that come out of

46:48

kind of a come out of kind of I wouldn't even

46:50

say it's a bender it was more of a coma in

46:52

2016 and you know January February

46:54

this kind of time of year comes around start of

46:56

the new year you know you're getting into new things

46:58

what are your goals gonna be well I'm getting fucking

47:01

back into football this is what I'm supposed to do

47:03

this is you know my comeback season

47:05

you know I'm gonna get back in the

47:07

NFL. Doug Flutie on that. I learned very

47:09

very pretty quickly you know I thought I

47:11

had a couple chances to come back to

47:14

the NFL after that year. This

47:17

was the Patrick Mahomes draft year

47:19

in Kansas City. I had flown

47:21

up to Kansas City twice to meet with

47:24

Andy Reid and the Chiefs. Me

47:26

and Andy Reid had a great relationship when I was

47:28

in the draft. This is a

47:30

crazy story I haven't really told this to

47:32

many people. I really really thought going into

47:34

that draft that after the

47:36

draft that I didn't take a quarterback I was gonna sign

47:39

in Kansas City. It felt like it was

47:41

really really like promising you know Andy

47:43

Reid has had a you know

47:45

long story career of you know helping kind

47:47

of rehabilitate people back to life you know

47:50

I think back up to the Mike Vick

47:52

days when he got out of jail you

47:54

know he comes in there really

47:56

turns you know helped turned his life around

47:58

so I'm going. Yes, yes, so

48:01

I'm going into that draft in

48:03

2016 thinking that I'm gonna end

48:05

up signing in Kansas City they

48:07

draft happens They

48:10

draft my homes. I'm like fuck

48:13

It's awesome to see my boy from White

48:16

House, Texas We're from the same hometown pretty

48:18

much in Tyler East Texas. So to see

48:20

him do that was like amazing, but also

48:22

fuck and You

48:25

know a couple weeks later go by and I get

48:27

a call from Sean Payton and now I think I'm

48:29

gonna end up signing with the Saints like really You

48:32

know thought this was gonna go down this path and then

48:34

after those two two deals kind of fizzled out You know,

48:36

I'm I'm still 24 at this time 25 So

48:39

I'm like, you know still have

48:41

this bravado about me like I didn't fuck it up

48:43

bad enough to where I can't get back In right

48:45

like it's still ultimate boys club Somebody's gonna you know

48:48

throw a life raft out there for me and the

48:50

guy who was in This is

48:52

how it all comes full circle Dan

48:55

Campbell who's now the coach of the Lions. Yeah was

48:57

a M&M won't

48:59

shut up. He won't he was a tight end coach

49:01

for the Saints So I know every day he went

49:04

to a and M played football day and M So I

49:06

know every day he was in their ear trying to get

49:08

me signed there and be that like beacon of hope for

49:10

me But slowly but surely I'm like,

49:12

you know what? They're not fucking with me anymore

49:15

NFL is not having this circus come back to town and

49:17

we're not doing this all over again I'm

49:20

pretty sure drew Brees is like fuck. No, I

49:22

got three years left in the NFL I don't

49:25

need this fucking circus coming to town. Hey, I'm

49:27

trying to win a Super Bowl I

49:29

don't have time for all this is a part of drew

49:31

Brees says bring him. I'll show him the Lord. Yeah. Yeah

49:34

Good. Good. That's that point. Brown services that

49:36

point. It probably would have been good luck

49:38

Yeah, I'll see you on Wednesday for church

49:40

and how tedious hanging out with drew Brees

49:42

would have been it probably I don't know

49:44

if we would have bad. She's a Texas

49:46

boy. So I Just

49:49

personality wise I just don't I

49:52

don't see the guy with three kids being married in his

49:54

17th year in the NFL dinner What are you gonna have

49:56

for dinner? I'm gonna have a I'm gonna have a I'm

49:58

gonna have a Hennessy sidecar the biggest

50:00

stake on the menu. We're

50:03

gonna have sweet tea. So

50:05

after that happens and the NFL thing kind of

50:07

you know withers away, I'm like I have to

50:09

get back into football. So you know

50:12

all these other leagues the AFL, the XFL,

50:14

all this wasn't really around at that point

50:16

in time. So

50:18

it was Canada and I remember having

50:21

to go to Buffalo to then like meet

50:23

this team who's owned my rights because they

50:26

probably had a fucking

50:28

Ouija board back when I got drafted in

50:30

2014. We're like yeah this guy's probably gonna

50:32

have a good opportunity to end up in

50:34

the CFL with the way he behaves. So

50:36

they drafted me and they're like you know

50:38

international players draft. So I go to Buffalo

50:40

meet with the Hamilton Tiger Cats to

50:43

talk about you know

50:45

maybe coming to the CFL. Because

50:48

of my behavior over the past two or three

50:50

years, I don't have to meet with the commissioner.

50:52

Now in my contract they want to put all

50:54

these stipulations in for me and being able to

50:56

come up here. And at that point you know

50:58

my false sense of confidence is probably like sure

51:01

I can take an alcohol test. I can do

51:03

every jump through every single little hoop. I just

51:05

want to get back on the field again. So

51:08

you know sign the deal, go to Canada, go

51:11

up there and I'm like first

51:14

day I fucking stepped on the football field. I

51:16

felt exactly the same way that I did when

51:18

I was in Cleveland. I felt

51:20

empty. I felt like I wasn't having fun.

51:22

I felt like I

51:25

dove into the X's and O's because the game

51:27

is so different in Canada. There's an extra person

51:29

on the field. The way you think about it

51:31

in a football mind sense is like there's almost

51:33

two kind of defenses out there at one time.

51:35

You know in the NFL you have two safeties

51:37

or you have one safety. In the

51:40

CFL you can have three of those motherfuckers out there

51:42

and you almost have to break the field in half

51:45

from like a football perspective of things. So I

51:47

get up there I dive in on the X's

51:49

I was stuck up a bit but the football

51:52

throwing running doing the actual

51:54

physical act of the sport

51:56

I Was sick to my stomach about again

51:58

that exact same feeling. Dad. Came.

52:01

Back again And that's when I knew the football was

52:03

A when I wanted to do. Arm.

52:06

For a career for my life and then I get

52:08

up there and I spent. Spreading. I

52:10

spent the whole season. There's a one

52:12

whole season. The guy's a talent. There's.

52:15

Actually, probably. Says

52:19

probably three to four guys maybe five on

52:21

every single team up there that will have

52:23

a shot to go to a training camp

52:26

and if they played. Well,

52:28

and that training camp to make a roster

52:30

really and there's probably you've seen it now

52:32

more than I did. you did the pass

52:34

in or just with how violent the game

52:36

is getting and how. You

52:39

know teams are one injury away from Ronin

52:41

Super Bowl run and one whether it's you

52:44

look at Cincinnati, they lose. burrow their chances

52:46

in hopes of getting back to where they

52:48

want to go for that whole entire year

52:50

or gone. So you know you

52:52

think about it. That's just a quarterback position.

52:54

Now go think about the linebacker. So you're

52:57

to linebackers deep on a team like that,

52:59

you have to be able to go to

53:01

other leagues and find guys. So the scouting

53:03

of talent and players has expanded more over

53:05

the last ten years or so than it

53:07

ever could. I think you see more Cfl

53:10

guys actually coming down and play in in

53:12

the league. Now I know. There

53:15

was. Probably. That if defense of

53:17

ndp of early when I was there. He's

53:20

he's still play in the league right

53:22

now is been back since probably two

53:24

thousand and sixteen seventeen is made of

53:26

five six year career out of it.

53:28

yeah I know that. I guess others

53:30

by with three to five guys may

53:32

be on every team. their habits avenue

53:34

chance to make an Nfl roster. So

53:36

the tower it is actually better than

53:38

what people think especially on the defensive

53:40

line. sizable does will have played some

53:42

fucking monsters on their food. went to

53:44

likes of there was a couple guys

53:46

who you know.u T who are big

53:48

high school recruits. ah i'm know

53:50

a couple guys from a know some smaller

53:53

schools but for the most part guys were

53:55

dare to problems guys who didn't get a

53:57

chance guys got hurt the training camp ago

54:00

You know, road off, but there

54:02

were some DNs up there that will absolutely rip

54:04

your fucking dick off and throw it in the

54:06

dirt. What's the what's the position that's this? The

54:09

shallowest in the CFL meaning like okay what

54:11

like cuz cuz I'm in my head. I

54:13

go. It's gotta be kickers I bet all

54:15

the good kickers get no suck down. You

54:17

know what? No, because they're still the Canadian

54:20

game is They try

54:22

to keep it Canadian and I say

54:24

this because

54:26

there's a You

54:28

have a starting lineup You have 24 people that

54:30

are you know starting offense defense and then you

54:33

can throw in like a couple special teams or

54:35

whatever it Is but there's no real way to

54:37

determine that so in the CFL there

54:39

is a Canadian Limit you

54:41

have to start a certain amount of

54:43

people who are Canadians. That's the same

54:46

problem with their television. So No way,

54:48

that's too fucking good So

54:56

you have to have a certain amount of Canadians

54:59

So the name of the game for the most part

55:01

and I don't say this to be rude. I say

55:03

this because from the

55:05

American mindset as A

55:08

football player you look at it and what I

55:10

always called it was where do you hide? Where

55:12

do you hide the Canadians? Where

55:15

do we put these white people? Bingo

55:21

Bingo Nailed

55:26

it As

55:36

I as I'm in Montreal this

55:39

I didn't realize in Hamilton because our Canadians

55:42

Weren't white and when I

55:44

went and got traded to Montreal our

55:46

team looked a lot different Why

55:55

Our line was so white and.

56:00

You're deeply tackles are so why am

56:02

I to whereas know why people in

56:04

the secondary as it's better if if

56:06

he believed to have a good team

56:09

for the white second or may sprinkle

56:11

and. A. White boy receiver this in

56:13

there but the name of the game with

56:15

the ratio and co that is. To

56:17

I'd the Canadians for the most part and

56:20

this is with no disrespect. There are a

56:22

ton of Canadian football players that are good.

56:25

I just don't have. There's a ton of Canadian football

56:27

players that play in the Cfl. them in. The

56:29

great? yeah or if you're canadian.

56:32

He went to Canadian College. How

56:34

many of those guys actually make it

56:36

to the Nfl? I'll hear of anybody that

56:38

went to a book by Canadian Football.

56:41

Didn't. Go to the Cfl and just went straight

56:43

to a bigger week I was. I don't know

56:45

if it's ever happen, I would have to fact

56:47

check myself on that. but when you get there

56:49

is twenty four point four players in the field

56:51

for starters have to be a certain ratio of

56:53

Canadian so it's really like. This.

56:55

Is gonna grazie nineteen eighty or you know

56:57

you're left Tackle is an American. Your.

56:59

Guard Canadian your center of our now. we'll

57:01

figure it out depending on who's playing right

57:04

guard. Yeah, and then your taxes are probably

57:06

gonna be big. Black.

57:08

American. Often. Suleiman to

57:10

have been taught from an Nfl team.

57:13

And then you're interiors. Probably. Canadian.

57:16

Citizen running Backs. That. You start

57:18

in the game yet another by the whole game.

57:21

But. Spying on a B Canadian and

57:23

then you have try and put your

57:25

receiver to the sealed fields or way

57:27

bigger. Yeah Third I mean when you

57:29

step on of Cfl feel compared to

57:31

an Nfl fields first thing you notice

57:33

more than the length of the field

57:35

is how wide it is so their

57:37

houses in older than you know when

57:40

the balls on the left has you

57:42

want to put. Your. Canadian

57:44

liability I guess in a

57:46

sense. As far away as

57:48

possible and to where you're not going to

57:51

make that. oh very much because it's really

57:53

like a fifty yard. I can't

57:55

throw fifty yards fuck in our out at

57:57

night it's just too far to to throw

57:59

it. There are so can a steak

58:01

and mix and match and have to

58:04

pee. Sure guys to make you ratio

58:06

work in the Cfl that but your

58:08

tackles. Your. Main and interior

58:10

like receivers. And. Then you're

58:12

defensive ends. Those are gonna be your guys.

58:15

who you who your dogs in the Cfl.

58:17

but it's. Crazy. Hide the

58:19

gregor as he was. it easier to walk away

58:21

from the Cfl. The Manifold Csl ah is that

58:23

was that. That was like beard. Here's the hard

58:25

part with the Cfl when you sign with

58:27

them. they own your rights for two years so

58:30

say I go up there like I did and

58:32

in that first year. I was used

58:34

as a pond in that league. In our I was

58:36

used as a pawn in that league. For.

58:38

Views and I was used upon

58:40

in that league for business. Cfl

58:43

was a very year to year.

58:46

Day to day financially

58:48

run organization. They. Don't

58:51

have there's There's not a. Real.

58:54

Distribution of wealth to each team and that league

58:56

every year. It's a very much how do we

58:58

keep the staying. Operable, And

59:00

running ads you know, for a while

59:02

there I think, especially during tobacco. There

59:05

questions around as.was gonna if they were

59:07

even gonna make it. So. In

59:09

a when they sign you especially you know

59:11

the big american players they do sign after

59:14

something happens whatever may be a take your

59:16

rights for two years. so after that first

59:18

year in on didn't used I got traded

59:20

from one team to another. I was in

59:22

a bad situation and I it out so

59:25

bad. I. Still wanted to be able to

59:27

play football though if I wanted to. You

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now. I

1:02:24

still wanted to be able to play

1:02:26

football though if I wanted to. There

1:02:29

were rumblings the X about was coming

1:02:31

around. I played in this Alliance Football

1:02:33

League. Mom. The.

1:02:35

Next year, But there were some leagues that

1:02:37

we're starting with. American Football on a deathly

1:02:40

very much. Wanted. To.

1:02:43

Get. Back To the United States! Much as

1:02:46

I love. Seen every

1:02:48

province in Canada go into every city.

1:02:50

I mean I lived in Old Port

1:02:52

Montreal, rabbi notes Dom or the Central

1:02:55

Alabama or Cfl practice schedule. This.

1:02:57

Is something you're gonna vote unless. I.

1:03:00

I. And

1:03:03

the Nfl you get in the building

1:03:05

for twenty five weeks a year for

1:03:07

the most part, outside a couple weeks.

1:03:10

Seven. In the morning until seven o'clock at

1:03:12

night. You'll have your days words maybe

1:03:14

seven in the morning until three or two

1:03:17

or something, but that's your schedule. Week one:

1:03:19

two, week seventeen push or four weeks of

1:03:21

training camp. Cfl wasn't

1:03:23

that or in the building at nine thirty

1:03:25

am and we're out of practice and out

1:03:28

of the building by one thirty pm. So.

1:03:30

I'm live in in. Toronto,

1:03:33

In one city. Paper. With know

1:03:35

from I'm done it One yeah every

1:03:37

day and then we have off days.

1:03:40

And then I got a module. live

1:03:42

in an old Port of Done at

1:03:44

one o'clock every day module grabbed one.

1:03:47

How to sag steakhouse. I'm getting frown.

1:03:49

Royals on the rocks. I'm having steaks

1:03:51

every single day. and i'm just loving

1:03:53

the city like all love that part of it

1:03:55

as far as a career and for born as

1:03:57

as i i have to get the fuck up

1:04:00

Yeah, I have to get out no matter what I'm

1:04:04

not coming back here next year. I can't do

1:04:06

this again. This is not there's no way like

1:04:10

impossibly no fucking chance so

1:04:14

They own my rights for another year and now

1:04:16

I start to think back about you

1:04:18

know that provision that he put in my contract That said

1:04:20

he can't do x y and z or you're out of

1:04:22

the league I think I'm gonna go do

1:04:24

x y and z to get this fucking

1:04:27

contract boy did Really and that's

1:04:29

exactly what I did. I remember when that

1:04:31

guy showed up at my house.

1:04:33

I got season ends I go

1:04:35

back to California. I'm back in LA and CFL

1:04:38

sent an alcohol tester Sent

1:04:41

an alcohol and drug tester to my house and

1:04:43

the second that he and I saw him knock on the door and

1:04:45

he opened It up. I Just

1:04:48

remember smiling from ear to ear. I couldn't wait.

1:04:50

This is probably the happiest I've ever been to

1:04:53

go piss in the cup and when I handed

1:04:55

him this cutback I just

1:04:57

remember me like why are you so happy? I'm like man

1:04:59

I can't tell you what a blessing this is what a

1:05:01

godsend this is That I don't

1:05:03

have to go back to Canada because of what

1:05:06

you're holding in your hand right there. He's a

1:05:08

great smell it Yeah, like you probably fucking can

1:05:10

but whatever you do handle with care and send

1:05:12

it directly back Is that make sure that gets

1:05:15

to Randy and brosy the CFL Commissioner make deliver

1:05:17

that to him personally You don't even need to

1:05:19

send it to the lab. Just yeah,

1:05:21

take the lid off That's fucking

1:05:23

but I had to get out. Yeah,

1:05:26

I there's been I'm like that with

1:05:29

And I love Vegas, but I'm like that with Vegas because

1:05:31

back in the day when we were younger You'd do longer

1:05:34

runs in Vegas and yes, you're doing stand-up every night, but

1:05:36

Vegas is a town for me that It

1:05:42

It it tickles my sparkle. Do

1:05:44

we need to do Vegas? I think we need

1:05:46

to do we're gonna be there for the Super Bowl Me and Tom I'll be there

1:05:49

buddy You have No

1:05:52

fucking idea Tom and I doing a pump passing kick

1:05:54

contest sick. Yeah, I need you to show I need

1:05:56

you to I need you to dial in my throat.

1:05:58

I got a beat Tom,

1:06:00

when are you guys going out there? Oh,

1:06:03

well, this is where it's problematic. I

1:06:05

get off tour on Sunday and I just said,

1:06:07

take the bus straight to Vegas. I

1:06:10

love Vegas. I

1:06:12

love everything they did with that city. It's like

1:06:14

they read my journal. And I

1:06:17

love the feeling of gambling early in the morning, being

1:06:20

the only one down there with the Asians who were

1:06:22

smoking. And I love getting in there and sitting next

1:06:24

to a guy that doesn't speak any English and being

1:06:26

like, I'll watch him a little bit. I wanna learn

1:06:28

baccarat. Oh, come on, I got you.

1:06:31

Oh, holy. I got you. It's the only

1:06:33

game I play now. I'll be like,

1:06:36

I'll be like, Vegas is like a fun

1:06:38

city, but we used to do long weekends

1:06:40

in Vegas, like Tuesday to Sunday. And

1:06:42

I would find myself come

1:06:45

Thursday being like, I

1:06:47

need a church or I need

1:06:49

a pet, a puppy. I need something.

1:06:52

Like I think it was David Tell was like,

1:06:54

you know what, I almost think I'm stealing a

1:06:56

David Tell joke. He goes, you know what Vegas

1:06:58

needs? A zoo. There's a

1:07:00

certain point where you go, I need to see an animal. But

1:07:03

like, yeah, we're going. And you go pet a bunch of

1:07:05

penguins somewhere after what we just did on the last. We're

1:07:07

taking the bus straight to Vegas and then we're

1:07:09

there Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. And

1:07:12

I don't know when this will come out, but Tom and I

1:07:14

are releasing a vodka. And so, oh

1:07:16

yeah, we've, congrats. Thank you, thank you. It was a

1:07:19

big, it's a Tom Zugaro brain move where he's like,

1:07:21

well, invest a ton of money and start a vodka.

1:07:23

And I love vodka. He got me with vodka. So

1:07:25

I was like, I'm in. I

1:07:28

think me and Tony are going a little

1:07:30

bit, a little bit different route. I think

1:07:32

we're going a water route of all things.

1:07:34

Smart. Let me tell you something. I

1:07:37

was real hell bent on recovery.

1:07:40

Like, so that's my whole, I said this

1:07:42

one time, I said, my brain's really recovery

1:07:44

because you would never notice if I quit

1:07:46

drinking. But if I quit recovering, that's

1:07:49

When you'd see me fall off. If I Quit

1:07:51

working out and taking care of myself to get

1:07:53

up, to show up for the show. that's when

1:07:56

you see it. If I Drink, No one ever

1:07:58

really sees me. drink. The crazy

1:08:00

part of my life is like. I.

1:08:03

I'm eye. We used to drink a little bit

1:08:05

onstage during like when I was really get out

1:08:07

of control. A drink like two beers like on

1:08:09

stage have a bargain soda. maybe a second. I

1:08:11

take a piss on stage and does oh wow

1:08:14

do I would literally go behind the monitor and

1:08:16

take assess New a cop. On. Stage

1:08:18

and then says how much I was drinking I

1:08:20

was having to piss in the middle the show

1:08:22

and then again so when they. We. Know

1:08:24

and is in. everyone's onstage. I was fuckin'

1:08:26

them. In the last show I did I

1:08:28

killed four beers on stage. At

1:08:31

the end of the show and just. Emily.

1:08:33

It may mit Nathaniel Rak as plan

1:08:35

son of of it's made me drink

1:08:37

and I just was bar and the

1:08:39

state's gonna fire. It was like fuckin'

1:08:41

the perfect way to go. Like either

1:08:43

time time to slow down. Oh so

1:08:45

you're saying you know and I agree

1:08:47

with this. Know your brain, your mind,

1:08:49

your body, everything. Still very much in

1:08:51

the sense of you know, recovering and

1:08:54

doing that. You feel like hell over

1:08:56

the time that you are in. Or

1:08:58

obviously recovery means you're getting back from

1:09:00

something. be obviously select, you damage yourself

1:09:02

at a certain one time. To some going.

1:09:04

So. Hard for as long as you that yeah

1:09:06

there was a it's kind of inevitable when you

1:09:08

live this life and you decide to choose the

1:09:10

site and we're talking about with things that make

1:09:12

us tech rights. Vegas gives you that sparked same

1:09:14

for me your I get to feel like for

1:09:16

me. It's almost alter

1:09:18

ego. as for me like he go

1:09:20

into a place where you're treated so

1:09:22

nicely. The amenities, the hospitality, all of

1:09:25

it is so such an outlier for

1:09:27

anything else normal in the world's and

1:09:29

you know. We have

1:09:31

friends that live there. do it every single day

1:09:33

Or you're like us. where you come and go

1:09:35

out. there's a million different ways. Do it Now

1:09:37

There has to be a sense know over the

1:09:39

course of the years that. I

1:09:41

know you have beat yourself up a little bit

1:09:43

that is over time to to use of little

1:09:46

bit better I said I I I noticed. Was.

1:09:49

Funny as I. I was. Great.

1:09:52

Light. or even all the way it as i as

1:09:54

i was part in the hardest i was that was foot

1:09:56

this last year fully loaded was nice that was the peak

1:09:58

of the mountain for me And

1:10:01

then I was like, I'm gonna

1:10:03

straighten it out. And I did. And then when

1:10:05

I went on my cruise, I was like, I'm drinking from my

1:10:07

cruise. And the first day I

1:10:09

drank and I couldn't, I

1:10:12

couldn't turn the corner. Like I just, everything

1:10:14

was like, ah,

1:10:16

champagne tastes fucked up. Like,

1:10:18

and then I was like, I want a drink. And then they're like, what do you want?

1:10:20

And I was like, and I hadn't been drinking

1:10:23

a lot. So sometimes when you drink a lot, the

1:10:25

flavors disappear. So you like, you have

1:10:27

to do a tequila phase and you go into a vodka phase. And

1:10:30

then there's this Jack on the Rocks phase. And then that's the thing

1:10:32

that it, your tongue welcomes it

1:10:34

because it's used to it. And I couldn't find it.

1:10:37

And then at the end of the night, we had to find it with,

1:10:39

I have to know this. I

1:10:42

found it, what was the, that first, oh,

1:10:44

it was wine. It was wine.

1:10:46

I started drinking wine with, I think, Davros

1:10:50

maybe, or maybe Mark Norman.

1:10:53

And we went, ended up on my balcony. I had

1:10:55

a really nice room. We ended up, it was like

1:10:57

an outdoor seating area and we ended up drinking

1:11:00

wine, open a cup of bottles, having some

1:11:02

cigars. And the next morning I went, oh,

1:11:05

this is a different recovery. Like this is not the

1:11:07

recovery I'm used to. This is, I'm beat up. And

1:11:09

then we went downstairs and everyone was already partying. And I was

1:11:11

like, well, we're on it. And I was

1:11:14

like, I'm giving myself these four

1:11:16

days on the cruise and then five days in Cayman

1:11:19

Islands to just no rules, no

1:11:21

rules. And I was saying that about diet, but I stayed

1:11:23

on my diet. But the next

1:11:25

day I got back on it. And then

1:11:27

slowly I was like, God, man, I started really

1:11:29

pinpointing for me, it was anxiety. Like

1:11:31

I'd get anxiety in the morning. And I was like, this hasn't been

1:11:34

here in a while. And I was

1:11:36

so used to it before that I

1:11:38

was, I wasn't, I was just like this part

1:11:40

of my life. Yeah, you just didn't even phase you. And I'd allow

1:11:42

the anxiety to inspire me. I'd go, yeah, fuck, you're fucking up. You

1:11:44

use it as a tool in a sense. Yeah. I

1:11:48

think my biggest thing just hearing you talk, I think it's

1:11:51

for a majority of people who, you

1:11:53

know, live this fine line of the

1:11:56

fun, the this, the that, self-awareness

1:11:58

man is the big. key to

1:12:00

be able to pinpoint like you're saying

1:12:02

the anxiety what it makes you do

1:12:05

there's so many little things that go on around

1:12:07

you that if you're hypersensitive and hyper self-aware about

1:12:09

everything that's going on yourself and you're really honest

1:12:11

and true with yourself in that regard yeah you

1:12:13

can come to a point where you figure out

1:12:15

how to make a lot of this shit work

1:12:18

well for me I guess that's us finding any

1:12:20

kind of way to you know well I think

1:12:22

me and you are people that other people focus

1:12:24

on too is they look at us and then

1:12:26

they go and then they have notes about

1:12:28

us and so then if you're not

1:12:30

doing the self-discovery then all of a sudden everyone's

1:12:32

notes are true yeah and then I was

1:12:35

like I'm not gonna let that happen no one's gonna

1:12:37

tell me about me yeah so I started this is

1:12:39

how can they oh I've

1:12:42

had so many people I remember oh I was like I was

1:12:45

like have you guys ever doing an intervention it better

1:12:47

be people to party because I don't want anyone sober

1:12:49

in that room I want people to go yo I

1:12:51

need Ron White going like hey

1:12:53

man you're out of control and I'm like

1:12:55

I listen to you okay but I hope

1:12:58

better be there like don't bring in fucking

1:13:00

a bunch of squares my mom my grandmother

1:13:02

what the fuck grandma I don't party with

1:13:04

you anyway but I started

1:13:06

I did

1:13:09

a cleanse for five days and then I went to my cardiologist I was

1:13:11

like I don't know what the fuck to do he was

1:13:13

like go keto when

1:13:16

keto and I just because it was sugar and alcove

1:13:18

it was it was like I'll see if I

1:13:20

can drop weight and I remember the

1:13:22

first time I had a real impulse to drink Sun

1:13:24

was setting and people were

1:13:26

coming over the mood was rough and I was

1:13:28

like this is it this is the this is

1:13:31

the quickening this is the the moment and

1:13:33

I said but I'm feeling really good and I want to

1:13:35

keep losing weight I wanted to get to 230 and

1:13:38

so I was like I saw I went to my

1:13:40

my my gym my man cave and

1:13:43

I took my thing called a happiness journal

1:13:45

so stupid and I started writing what

1:13:47

is the thing right now in me that wants

1:13:49

to drink like what is that impulse it's identical

1:13:51

to a diet that's why I

1:13:53

journaled about it and then and when I got done

1:13:55

journaling I didn't want to drink I went I think

1:13:58

I'm actually good the Sun had already gone I'm down and

1:14:00

I was like, ah, I'm good. And so

1:14:02

I started journaling every time I wanted, I had the

1:14:04

impulse to drink or just write about it and

1:14:07

say, what is it? And then, I mean,

1:14:09

I would be like very simple. If I

1:14:11

did it, it happened recently. I was with

1:14:13

Tom. We did two podcasts, felt great. I'm

1:14:15

in Austin. I'm not home. We go to

1:14:17

have a steak dinner and I said, I

1:14:20

want a martini and a bottle of wine.

1:14:22

I want a dirty vodka martini with, with

1:14:24

my, that's my first drink. And

1:14:26

then I'm gonna have a wedge salad, but wine

1:14:28

will show up. I'm gonna drink wine. I'm gonna get a

1:14:30

ribeye medium rare. That was it. And

1:14:32

I said it to Pete. I said, I'm doing that. And

1:14:35

he was like, you know, we

1:14:37

got a busy day tomorrow. And I

1:14:39

was like, fuck, I know I should really not drink. So

1:14:42

I went and I wrote about it. And

1:14:44

by the way, writing about it and I still allow myself to write about it

1:14:46

and then drink if I want to. So I wrote about

1:14:48

it. And then I was

1:14:50

like, fuck. And I even

1:14:52

at dinner, I was like, I don't know. I want

1:14:54

to, I want to. But like, there's

1:14:56

a part of me that I do want to do good podcasts

1:14:58

for Tom and I do. We had a busy

1:15:01

fucking day and we had to catch a fight that night. And

1:15:03

I was like, and I just didn't. And then I journaled

1:15:06

about it again. And then it still didn't feel right. I

1:15:08

was like, I should have drank. I should

1:15:10

have drank. And then I slept like shit. And I

1:15:12

was like, fuck, I woke up the next morning. I go, I fucked

1:15:14

up. I should have drank last night. And then

1:15:16

I journaled about it again in the morning. I was like, why the

1:15:18

fuck didn't I drink? And then I went to

1:15:20

the gym and I got done and I felt fucking

1:15:23

really good. Journaled again. And I was like, okay. Sometimes

1:15:25

you'll journal four times to get to that place. That

1:15:27

helped you a lot. It's helped me immensely. How long

1:15:29

have you done it for? Started

1:15:31

in August. So six months, months? Yeah, I've

1:15:34

been doing it six months. And

1:15:36

how frequently would you say you're doing it? Less

1:15:39

and less now more than, but like

1:15:41

I did it when we just went to Mexico.

1:15:46

And I said, and I

1:15:49

was like, I was like, I'm

1:15:52

also crazy. But like, I'll tell you

1:15:54

if I have a couple of beers in me that I cracked the

1:15:56

code to drinking. And I was

1:15:58

like, and I said in the car. We're all driving

1:16:00

with all these fucking huge promoters. I was like, I

1:16:03

think I cracked the code to drinking I'm happiest I've ever

1:16:05

been and I'm pretty fucking lit right now and they're like

1:16:07

really it's the hand just leans over You

1:16:09

should definitely journal tonight But

1:16:13

it was like and but we had a great time and

1:16:16

Got home stop drinking didn't drink

1:16:18

for like five days Probably

1:16:21

won't drink on this tour Probably

1:16:24

won't drink on this run. I know I'm drinking Winston

1:16:27

Churchill's day and Tom hit me up. He's like

1:16:29

yo Monday night You want to do something and

1:16:31

I was like maybe I'll drink with Tommy. Maybe

1:16:34

if I see Joe Tuesday night, who knows but

1:16:36

uh But for me,

1:16:38

it's about I don't know I

1:16:40

get weird when people tell me what I have to do

1:16:42

and so I can't do that I have to make

1:16:45

my own decisions and and they have

1:16:47

to be organic to me. I have to yeah

1:16:49

and But I need to

1:16:51

have the realization in my head of why I'm making

1:16:53

these decisions I can't just like

1:16:55

I never impulse decisions You don't see sure, you

1:16:57

know when you do something right away and you

1:16:59

do that You don't see the the process of

1:17:01

what goes into it You're giving yourself time to

1:17:04

think and process and go through it and see

1:17:06

a million different sides of it for basic decisions

1:17:08

in life Yeah And for people like

1:17:10

us I can already tell we're really similar in

1:17:12

a lot of these ways that we think I

1:17:15

bought a journal Probably two three months ago.

1:17:17

I've been slowly but surely kind of

1:17:19

doing the same thing I'm not you

1:17:21

know battling that trying to stop drinking as much as possible.

1:17:24

I think I went on one of those you

1:17:26

know horseback rides for the last, you know,

1:17:28

December and no December in

1:17:30

the New Year's and You

1:17:33

know, it's kind of the point where like I'm focused

1:17:35

now. I'm focused on you know What

1:17:38

I enjoy in life and what makes me happy and

1:17:40

I'm pursuing that towards that you know,

1:17:42

I haven't let the alcohol or the Anything

1:17:45

like that really get in the way of

1:17:47

you know, what my you know, main mission

1:17:49

and goal and you know Ambition

1:17:52

is in life and you

1:17:54

know for you It's a fine line because of how

1:17:56

much of your work is intertwined with that. Oh, it's

1:17:58

a fine line because Me even

1:18:00

when I went to go do my movie I wasn't

1:18:02

gonna drink and then my executive producer was like that's

1:18:04

not who he hired. I was like what that's

1:18:06

an issue I was like he was like hey man. He's like you if

1:18:09

you're white-knuckling sobriety

1:18:11

for three months in Serbia because

1:18:14

weren't Serbia and He's

1:18:16

like that. I'm just saying like Enjoy

1:18:19

yourself make this the funnest time you've ever had

1:18:21

and that'll show up around

1:18:24

you if you're having a blast People

1:18:26

will rub sauce and and and I and

1:18:28

I heard that I went cool And then

1:18:30

I put parameters in my head, and I was

1:18:32

like I was like all right Go

1:18:35

out dinner every night, but when I come home. I

1:18:37

got to go to bed I can't stay up drink

1:18:39

and I got to get up every morning at six

1:18:41

my call times at seven I got to go for

1:18:43

a four-mile jog I got it We no matter how

1:18:45

I feel gotta go for four months as a staple

1:18:47

in your life then huh the working out and working

1:18:49

out Just a insane staple even when I was the

1:18:51

fattest I was I was still benching 225

1:18:54

10 times like the fattest I was went to University

1:18:56

of Nebraska And I was like

1:18:58

I forced everyone to go work out everyone's hungover I

1:19:00

just that's where I'm lacking in my life right now I think

1:19:02

it's a big part and when I get back to doing that

1:19:05

you know I think it'll be a game changer

1:19:07

for me I worked out you know to get to being

1:19:09

to the point where you get to the NFL The

1:19:12

workouts and the shit you have to do from the time

1:19:14

and I was one of those like You

1:19:17

know early young Established

1:19:20

like good athletes from the age of 12

1:19:22

so my dad being the hard-ass that he

1:19:24

is Was like you're doing this

1:19:26

drilling me on it for my for my whole life for

1:19:28

the most part Then I get to high school and I

1:19:31

get around these Even more hard-ass

1:19:33

football coaches, and it's just drilled into you drilled

1:19:35

into you drilled into you and then when you

1:19:37

get a scholarship To go

1:19:39

play college football. What are they gonna do to you

1:19:41

there fucking beat you over the head with the weight

1:19:43

with the bell with them You know every single thing

1:19:45

and then when you get to the NFL It's

1:19:48

the same thing if you're not working

1:19:50

hard enough in the gym You're gonna

1:19:52

go get physically fucking punished on

1:19:54

a Sunday or a Monday whenever it is So

1:19:57

after you know the football days were over I really

1:20:00

just took a step back and was like,

1:20:02

I don't want to fucking look at the

1:20:04

gym. I can't imagine a fucking touch away.

1:20:06

I don't want to squat, bench, dumbbell, nothing.

1:20:09

And I think, you know, I just got in

1:20:12

this mindset when I started playing golf over the

1:20:14

last four years and I'm playing 150 rounds a

1:20:16

year. I'm like, Oh, you know what? You know,

1:20:18

my grandpa or my dad, they do this as

1:20:21

their fucking workout. And I'm like, fuck man, I'm

1:20:23

31 years old. Like get your lazy ass back

1:20:25

in the gym. You can't just go walk 18

1:20:28

holes every day and think you're going to be a peak physical

1:20:31

specimen over here. 90%

1:20:33

of the population's like golf is my

1:20:35

workout. It's my dad's workout.

1:20:38

It's tough to be like a part of the

1:20:40

top upper echelon point of the 1% of being

1:20:43

an athlete at one point in time. And then

1:20:45

look back now and be like, Oh yeah, I

1:20:47

walked 18 holes this week, four times. That's, that's

1:20:50

about, you know, I went from running

1:20:52

miles and miles and lifting real weights to being

1:20:54

like, you know, I walked my country

1:20:56

club four times this week. It's

1:20:59

like the peak of my physical activity right

1:21:01

now. I love it. You're like a scratch

1:21:03

golfer. Yeah. Sub course. I

1:21:05

moved to the Mecca, man. I moved, I,

1:21:08

uh, during COVID, I was living in

1:21:10

LA for, you know, from the time I got caught in

1:21:12

Cleveland and where did you live in LA? I was in

1:21:14

the valley. So I was in studio city and it was

1:21:16

right on like Vineland and in between

1:21:19

Vineland and to hunger. And then I went, kept going

1:21:21

down the valley. I went like studio

1:21:23

city Sherman Oaks. And then my last year I

1:21:25

ended up in like Woodland Hills and

1:21:29

just kept getting further and further away

1:21:31

from, from Hollywood and everything that was

1:21:33

in the West Hollywood Hills. And I

1:21:35

still went and enjoyed it. But you

1:21:37

know, after I left LA, I

1:21:39

moved back to Texas and I'd got married in

1:21:42

LA, got divorced. So my whole world was kind

1:21:44

of like, what the fuck just happened after leaving

1:21:46

that, that bender of a, of a

1:21:48

four or five years. And get

1:21:52

back to Texas. And I'm like, man, I'm unhappy.

1:21:54

Like I'm too, I went from being

1:21:56

in a place in LA where nobody gave a shit about me

1:21:58

in a sense. Nobody was coming

1:22:01

up to me on the streets. I'm not fucking You

1:22:03

know, I'm not Robert Downey jr. Out here walking

1:22:05

down the streets or anything and people are you

1:22:07

know going crazy I'm just the guy out there

1:22:10

when I went back to Texas I

1:22:13

felt like the Robert Downey jr. Of Texas

1:22:15

in a sense Yeah I was like fucking

1:22:18

Iron Man walking through the streets of Dallas

1:22:20

or College Station or Austin like I couldn't

1:22:22

turn it off You know, I couldn't hide

1:22:24

from it and like get any peace and

1:22:27

it's not a chaotic You know, it wasn't a

1:22:29

chaotic thing where I'm not able to move or

1:22:32

not able to There's a

1:22:34

difference in taking your you know Your mom

1:22:36

or your sister somewhere going to eat not having

1:22:38

people come up to you and interrupt you're gonna

1:22:40

happen Sure, but getting to spend

1:22:42

that genuine time Like you said that moment that

1:22:44

you were talking about with your daughter, you know

1:22:47

I wasn't getting a chance to do that hardly

1:22:49

ever when I move back to Texas So

1:22:51

I'm like I had a good buddy that

1:22:53

was from out here They had just opened a bunch of bars

1:22:55

in Texas and he's like hey, man Have you ever been to

1:22:57

waste management open? I'm like What

1:23:00

the fuck is the waste management open like

1:23:02

waste management the garbage truck Mecca? Johnny

1:23:07

I know nothing. I'm like I love

1:23:10

golf. I love Scottsdale. I've only been

1:23:12

one time for one night But

1:23:14

it sounds amazing. He's like dude just buck a flight. I'll

1:23:16

pick you up. I got a place to stay Don't worry

1:23:18

about anything. And then I Fucking

1:23:21

got out here and went to that golf tournament. I was like Oh

1:23:24

Holy fuck waste management is

1:23:28

fucking epic. Holy fuck. What is this

1:23:30

place out here? You mean the weather's

1:23:32

like this every day fucking it's 75

1:23:34

and sunny and there's all these golf

1:23:36

courses and there's all these girls And

1:23:38

there's all these Arizona girls are

1:23:40

a little different than girls around the world I

1:23:42

always used to think Florida girls ruled and then

1:23:44

I came out to Arizona and I was like,

1:23:46

oh this is new this is new Bob it's

1:23:49

some it's like a It's

1:23:51

not like your California girls and it's not like

1:23:53

your Texas or your for it's like its own

1:23:56

unique kind of thing. I think there's great people

1:23:58

out here. Like I think there's unbelievable. All very

1:24:00

got. It's a little bit of the frontier style to

1:24:02

it's there's and and I was traveling as much as

1:24:04

I have. When you go to place like Alaska, you

1:24:07

realize. And I mean this with

1:24:09

respect to Alaska state it's a it's a weird

1:24:11

person ago I'm getting away from everyone was for

1:24:13

a lot of people are running away from a

1:24:15

lot of things else. Think the surfers up there

1:24:17

have got bodies on it like they are like

1:24:19

never said they they bury their bodies him same

1:24:22

way as are women. it doubly know my bro

1:24:24

and hands or hundred I'm so so and then

1:24:26

when you go to like sort of for me

1:24:28

grown up that's where all the uncles from Philadelphia,

1:24:30

New York, New Jersey moved with. they got an

1:24:33

eight when they got over that as they are

1:24:35

they have a couple be wise it's as and

1:24:37

then we got going to get some sun at

1:24:39

but are but Arizona does have that. A

1:24:41

little bit of that. Are you not

1:24:43

taking my guns from me? I'm a little

1:24:46

bit of an independent thinker like I remember

1:24:48

coming under doing shows during the pandemic. And.

1:24:51

I'm I'm I'm in Er for so indoors

1:24:53

and no one was wearing a mask and

1:24:55

appendices. Light? I'm talking fuck in June one

1:24:58

eyewitness the high and are like Aids of

1:25:00

flu and as I got a spike in

1:25:02

Arizona. Misspoken. Arizona I

1:25:04

feel like I mean it makes sense where we're

1:25:06

located geographically to be our I drive back to

1:25:08

Texas every summer when it gets hot here and

1:25:11

been there some the spend my summers there for

1:25:13

the most part but were located right in between

1:25:15

Tally and pretty much right in between sexes. So

1:25:17

this place has a very like west coast kind

1:25:19

of feel to it. a little bit in i'm

1:25:22

only. Forty five minute flight to

1:25:24

Vegas, a mile, an hour and a half

1:25:26

allies or west coast. For. The most

1:25:28

part. but then like your sandwich or gods

1:25:30

in the way things word or uncovered a

1:25:32

very much had a Texas feel to as

1:25:34

soon as others. Unbelievable transition for man. I

1:25:36

like the weather better out here, you know.

1:25:38

I was never. A My only time I

1:25:40

ever really got the snow or did the cold was live in

1:25:43

in Cleveland for those two years and that was more like a.

1:25:45

A. Sentence than anything. To think there's a city.

1:25:47

Do you think there's a city? Like.

1:25:50

In hindsight, The you could

1:25:52

have played your first year at. Where.

1:25:54

You said because I love there are some

1:25:56

I want my specifically when I love the

1:25:59

Than Clinton and in place and that everyone

1:26:01

has such intense civic pride. Did not a

1:26:03

lot of people leave Cleveland like they're like

1:26:05

yo this is my town. Once I'm gone

1:26:07

into a fishbowl, go and from Uc a

1:26:09

college town like College Station, go on from

1:26:11

there. And being a man like really been

1:26:14

in a fishbowl, It only got

1:26:16

bigger when I went to Cleveland I

1:26:18

in just me going anywhere doing anything

1:26:20

driving around town and know i i

1:26:22

signed with a Bond James when I

1:26:24

wear his agency when I went to

1:26:26

Cleveland. And. He came back from the

1:26:28

Miami Heat to the Cavs at the same

1:26:31

time I like we were very much to

1:26:33

in business and entered swine together and. Hanging.

1:26:36

Out those guys a lot so I think

1:26:38

that only like magnified my like. A.

1:26:40

Whole was like the situation in Cleveland. yeah

1:26:42

just like if I lived in an apartment

1:26:45

downtown it's also doubled as a hotel. and

1:26:47

try getting in and out of that fucking

1:26:49

place with i think i'm I know that

1:26:51

place suffer the but Cleveland's it. I was

1:26:53

always thinking Cleveland's one of those to buffalo

1:26:56

be a top down Seattle the uptown hyper

1:26:58

to get into a place to add that

1:27:00

to do with town any to get a

1:27:02

place that for to have gone right it

1:27:04

would a had been strictly football I would

1:27:07

have had to bend. And.

1:27:09

A Foxborough relax in a New England situation.

1:27:11

Us couldn't have been Dallas trend of in

1:27:13

Houston for the been Miami that kinda been

1:27:16

any real real big city baby Buffalo my

1:27:18

name when been a fucking nightmare nightmare Dallas

1:27:20

what about everybody ask me and always I

1:27:22

get this question or anything like what about

1:27:24

the Cowboys draft in your that your and

1:27:27

I'm like man. I.

1:27:29

Would have made double the amount of money and I

1:27:31

made an hour. Would have not had to move from

1:27:34

Texas. I do. I don't think I would have been

1:27:36

alive. I really like really

1:27:38

genuinely. To my core the feeling as

1:27:40

I have is something would have gone

1:27:42

so horribly wrong that probably would end

1:27:44

up costing me my life. Yeah.

1:27:46

I think New York was the perfect place for me

1:27:48

to start stand up. Because. If I'd stayed

1:27:50

in Florida, I would have never left Florida and never

1:27:52

would have left Florida. If I

1:27:55

had moved to a smaller, spotless cargo,

1:27:57

I was not a guy. That

1:27:59

could have. Gone. To a

1:28:01

smaller market and excelled and then moved

1:28:03

to big markets I'd get thrown in.

1:28:06

To. the fire sometimes us how people are known

1:28:08

on your issue for us cities or the other

1:28:10

than scam I'll time of like. A

1:28:12

while to stay with this guy who's like of

1:28:14

teachers like babies, how to swim and he literally

1:28:16

has am I gonna live Just have to take

1:28:19

some and he just wants his on into the

1:28:21

pool same way of you you know you think

1:28:23

about in life that way for you. For me

1:28:25

it would have been you know better just to

1:28:27

be thrown into that and the dependence and see

1:28:29

how it goes. I'm in a comedy that probably.

1:28:32

Takes. You a long long way. Yeah, you

1:28:34

probably have to have a lot of you

1:28:36

know life lessons and morals and things that

1:28:39

you com the you solidified during your time

1:28:41

doing that. Been in a place like that

1:28:43

was crazy to me as like me, grown

1:28:45

up so so. Aggressively

1:28:47

in Florida. Said I

1:28:49

remember. It was

1:28:52

Crazy. I

1:28:54

remember the first time I did coat in front

1:28:56

of people in New York. And.

1:29:00

Salad. To Jordan Ruben. Is

1:29:02

fucking best The Great Tractor and is a brilliant

1:29:04

comic. We. Were at his house

1:29:06

he had great house and so have a say

1:29:08

the modified. Don't use bedroom.

1:29:10

get high. Who's I get

1:29:12

cool. I was with three models and

1:29:14

walked in. We took his mirror off

1:29:16

the wall. Burma's to

1:29:19

on his bed. And. He was

1:29:21

like and he walked and behind us has three

1:29:23

models and is the fuck you doing. As

1:29:25

we don't coke he's a very getting high

1:29:27

as and I'm over thinking I would never

1:29:30

smoke weed in your bedroom I guess. So

1:29:32

disrespectful and as a know we're doing coke

1:29:34

and then I. Realized.

1:29:37

i was a little bit of a fish

1:29:39

or water not everyone did coped the way

1:29:41

we did and i do at a time

1:29:43

but we definitely we wd coconuts as he

1:29:45

dabbles yet i would vote sister who was

1:29:47

rooting for to say no if someone offered

1:29:49

you cope that meant to this day i

1:29:51

bought you know how far this bridge as

1:29:53

a triple digits at this point right now

1:29:55

you're going to say nothing of i got

1:29:57

i got them cope by out by of

1:29:59

famous first than recently and

1:30:02

it broke my heart to say no to him

1:30:04

because I know the vulnerability. When

1:30:07

you offer someone coke, I know that it's

1:30:10

really like a first kiss, like you're going, hey man,

1:30:12

I think you're cool. I'm breaking

1:30:14

bread with you right now. Yeah, yeah, I'm thinking cool. I've

1:30:17

been hiding this in my pocket, but

1:30:20

I'm waiting for you and then I had to say,

1:30:22

man, I'm so sorry, I was 50 at the time.

1:30:25

I was like, I got high blood pressure. I

1:30:27

can't be the guy that has a stroke hanging out

1:30:30

with you because I decided I'm going to fucking be

1:30:32

young again. I was like, I'm so, and I fucking

1:30:34

apologized to him. I was like, I'm sorry, and

1:30:36

he was like, no, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make this weird.

1:30:38

And I go, no, no, I'm sorry. I wish, I guess I was

1:30:40

right. So now you have this weird interaction going on where your both

1:30:42

just sit there apologizing to each other. I

1:30:44

felt growing up in Florida, it was rude if someone offered

1:30:46

you coke not to do it with them or if someone

1:30:48

extended the offer. I never, I've known, I've never said no

1:30:51

to a joint as it gets passed around. It's just, I

1:30:53

don't know, it was the way we were raised. And when I moved to New York

1:30:55

and I realized none of the white dudes did

1:30:58

coke, none of them did. And

1:31:00

I was like, okay, I don't want to be this fish

1:31:02

out of water, be the one white guy that does coke.

1:31:04

So I just was like, if

1:31:06

I do it, it was, if I ever did,

1:31:08

it was always with brothers that, brothers,

1:31:11

black dudes and white dudes snort coke differently. It was

1:31:13

an old joke I used to have. Black guys always

1:31:15

take a little key bump or like fingernail or a

1:31:17

corner of a matchbox. White guys dump the bag upside

1:31:19

down and cut rails. And black guys were always like,

1:31:22

yo, what the fuck? That's all our coke. And I'm

1:31:24

like, oh, my dad's paying for it. So,

1:31:28

but I needed to see the

1:31:30

different ways people

1:31:32

interacted. And then I was like, all right,

1:31:35

I get it. And then I came out

1:31:37

to LA and coke was fucking everywhere. Fucking

1:31:39

all over the Hollywood house. Coke was everywhere.

1:31:41

And I was like, but I'd already, I

1:31:44

did maybe once or twice or

1:31:46

a handful of times in LA, but

1:31:49

I had some, one of

1:31:52

the most beautiful experiences. I

1:31:54

mean, it sucks because you do

1:31:56

have these crazy life. experiences

1:32:00

that you'll never have ever

1:32:05

You know and I look back

1:32:07

I'm so glad I had him but having two daughters I

1:32:10

just say them It's not fucking worth 100% it's not

1:32:12

worth it. It's so not worth it Especially what coke

1:32:14

is these days with fentanyl in it it is it

1:32:16

is I mean you

1:32:18

gotta think back It's been around forever You've

1:32:21

there's a million horror stories out there of

1:32:23

what you're gonna hear of what

1:32:25

it can get you to of how deep

1:32:27

down The no sleep everything like it truly is

1:32:29

and I say this now today I wouldn't

1:32:32

have said this five years ago, but it's

1:32:34

truly like the devil's drug It's truly

1:32:36

like something that'll bring you down and

1:32:38

slowly but surely as you feel

1:32:41

Internally like you're being lifted up

1:32:44

like it's making you feel awesome these memories

1:32:46

everything But slowly but surely at the

1:32:48

same time in reality It's really dragging you down to

1:32:50

a place and you don't see it You'd never see

1:32:52

it and you never seen until it's too late and

1:32:54

you know I loser my my year of 2016 Was

1:32:58

probably the height of me

1:33:01

really getting into that and dabbling with

1:33:03

that and I left Cleveland 215

1:33:07

pounds pretty rock fucking solid and I

1:33:11

went to Vegas that

1:33:13

September October after

1:33:16

being cut that January and I stepped

1:33:18

on a fucking scale in Vegas and

1:33:21

I Everything in my

1:33:23

mind everything around me is telling me Life

1:33:26

is good and you're great. Just fucking keep

1:33:28

going with the flow. Keep fucking spending keep

1:33:30

fucking partying And I stepped on

1:33:32

that fucking scale man. I was like a

1:33:34

hundred and sixty three pounds. Holy shit I was

1:33:38

like a 50 60 pound

1:33:40

difference that I didn't even fucking feel

1:33:42

it didn't even notice it Didn't even

1:33:44

notice that I was buying I went

1:33:47

from Excel everything 34

1:33:49

waste and every single freaking thing and when I got

1:33:52

back home after that year and I went to my

1:33:54

closet and I was like What

1:33:56

the fuck is going? What the fuck is going

1:33:58

on? Yeah, and then slowly but surely over time

1:34:01

as I like clean myself up and I got my

1:34:03

shit together, you know, I

1:34:05

started being hyper aware of the

1:34:07

people like I always felt

1:34:09

me that I wasn't

1:34:12

worthy of being in certain situations that I

1:34:14

get it. I'll give you an example. If

1:34:17

I go to the mothership and Tony

1:34:21

sends Yoni to get me at the front door

1:34:23

and walk me in and let me hang out

1:34:25

at Mitzi's and then walk me up and go,

1:34:27

you know, be around Ron

1:34:29

White, around Joe Rogan, around Tim

1:34:32

Dillon, all these guys that I've met around

1:34:34

there. There's times where I'm around

1:34:36

people that I've seen on TV from when I

1:34:38

was a kid or watch their comedy specials or

1:34:41

this and that, that always

1:34:43

my natural inclination is that, why am I

1:34:45

here? Why me, right? Like

1:34:48

why do, why I'm not deserving

1:34:50

of getting treatment like this or

1:34:53

being, hang around these guys that are successful,

1:34:55

legendary from my eyes and my point

1:34:57

of view and to millions of other

1:35:00

people as well. How am I here?

1:35:02

Right? I started being super hyper aware

1:35:04

of, you know, the people that I

1:35:06

was around, the

1:35:09

legends that I'm around. And you know what

1:35:11

I didn't see any of these fucking legends,

1:35:13

not in just that situation, but in all

1:35:15

around the globe, all around the country. I

1:35:18

didn't see any of those guys fucking running in the

1:35:21

bathroom. No. I didn't see any of

1:35:23

those guys fucking taking a bag out of their pocket to

1:35:25

take a pinch of fucking blow. Yeah. I

1:35:27

didn't see them like, yeah, maybe I see them go outside, smoke

1:35:29

a cigarette and passing around to join or something. Cool.

1:35:32

All good. Yeah. But

1:35:35

I started to be like, I asked myself a question like, isn't that what

1:35:37

you want to be like? Isn't that what you want to

1:35:39

be? Successful

1:35:41

with money, with good friends,

1:35:43

with good people around, with happiness,

1:35:45

with joy, respected. Yeah. Isn't

1:35:48

that what you want for your life? What that's what you want

1:35:50

for your life, do as they do. Follow

1:35:52

in their footsteps. Write

1:35:54

that, everyone, if you have a journal, write that in your journal.

1:35:57

If you surround yourself with greatness, you're forced to be

1:35:59

great. Surround yourself with shit long enough, you're gonna get

1:36:01

some on you. Buddy. And

1:36:05

that's really, you know, I haven't

1:36:07

even told Tony or any of those guys

1:36:09

this, like how much that being around that

1:36:11

whole, what they have going on in Austin,

1:36:13

how special I see it is. Being

1:36:16

a Hill Country kid, seeing what

1:36:18

they're doing, having comedians move in, they

1:36:20

have a whole movement going on down

1:36:22

there and a movement of people who

1:36:25

are respected, legendary, influential and have

1:36:27

their fucking shit together for the

1:36:29

most part. And I

1:36:32

want to be like that. I want to be

1:36:34

like the guys that, you know, I get a chance to

1:36:36

randomly one off here and there go to dinner with. I

1:36:38

want to be, I got

1:36:40

a chance, and this was really crazy for me the

1:36:42

other night, I got a chance to go to dinner

1:36:44

with Drake and Tillman Fritita, who owns the Houston Rockets.

1:36:47

And just to be a fly on that wall in

1:36:49

the room for a night, I left there the next

1:36:51

morning and was like, still my

1:36:54

jaw dropped. Just picking up little

1:36:56

things, getting a chance to have that kind of banter.

1:36:58

I'm like, that's what I want to be like. Luckily,

1:37:01

I, you know, haven't messed things up enough

1:37:03

in my life where I can keep, and

1:37:05

I've been such a genuine, organic person the

1:37:07

whole time throughout all of it, even if

1:37:09

I was a little lost, to

1:37:12

keep relationships that I probably don't deserve and

1:37:14

shouldn't have kept. This show

1:37:16

is sponsored by BetterHelp. A lot of us

1:37:18

spend our lives wishing we had more time.

1:37:21

Oh, wow, that really hit me heavy. That's

1:37:23

how I wake up every single day. The

1:37:25

question is, time for what?

1:37:27

If time was unlimited, how would you use it?

1:37:31

Ooh, that's another great question. The

1:37:33

best way to squeeze that special thing into

1:37:35

your schedule is to know what's important to

1:37:37

you and make it a priority. Therapy

1:37:40

can help you find what matters most to you

1:37:42

so you can do more of it. I

1:37:45

am super heavy reading this

1:37:47

because I'm thinking, I wake

1:37:49

up every day wishing I had more time and not

1:37:51

more time to work, more time to spend with the

1:37:53

girls, quite honestly, more time to spend with Leanne. I

1:37:56

just brought it up in therapy. We

1:38:00

know everyone knows I've spent like seven months taking

1:38:03