0:00

We should never go on vacation together. This is

0:02

gonna end up with me and him in the

0:04

same bed snoring with the Bambi and Matt. And

0:07

you too, Zink, Griscross, Amalss, you and

0:09

your tarot cords! I'm

0:19

gonna drink red wine. Is that okay with everyone? Of course. I'm

0:21

gonna drink a little red wine. I never hurt nobody. Jelly, would

0:23

you like a glass of red wine? No, I think I'm alright,

0:25

dude. I just smoked me a big old hooter. Do

0:28

you want a drink? We got liquid death, we

0:30

have sodas too. I love a liquid

0:32

death. I love a big root beer, diet root beer. Should

0:35

we open it now so we don't open it later?

0:37

Hey, hey, this is a dream episode. I'm dying

0:39

to see that fingernail work on that can. I'm dying

0:41

to see that fingernail work on that can.

0:43

The pressure's on now. Hold on. Don't

0:46

break a fucking fingernail. Have someone else open it. I

0:48

won't. I've done this a million times. I'm

0:50

gonna prove it important. Now we're being stubborn.

0:54

If I can borrow one thing from

0:56

your wife, it would be those fucking

0:58

fingernails. Leanne, one time. I can't do

1:00

it, I can't. We've lost it

1:02

on your podcast, actually. This is as long as

1:04

I get. Just one time, I just want you to gag me while we

1:06

fuck. Here we go. Cheers, guys. Salud.

1:10

This is awesome. Fuck yes.

1:13

Dream episode. We've got

1:15

Jelly Roll and Bunny. The

1:17

dream team. The new

1:20

power couple in entertainment.

1:22

Who saw it fucking coming?

1:24

Nobody. Who saw it fucking

1:26

coming? I didn't. I didn't. You know I didn't.

1:29

You know I fucking did. No, you

1:31

did. That's a fact. I called this

1:33

shit, dude, years ago. When

1:36

I... I should have been a talent manager. I

1:39

swear to God. I think you did okay. I just... I don't

1:41

know. I don't know. I don't know.

1:44

Right alone. But I see shit that

1:46

goes, ooh, what is that?

1:48

Like, ooh. First time I ever

1:50

saw you was in

1:52

Chelsea's Doc. First time I

1:54

ever saw you was in Chelsea's Doc and fucking

1:56

popped. And I was like, whoa. Because

1:58

you know what I love to be... about you is

2:02

how southernly respectful you were. But

2:05

it is the thing where I went,

2:07

what you're seeing is a different book

2:09

than the cover. And this is

2:11

someone much like a lot of the people I know

2:13

that grew up around where you two grew up, and

2:16

I fucking fell in love with it. I started

2:18

following you, I started fucking hitting you up. I

2:20

was like, God damn it, this guy's fucking amazing.

2:22

Everything you did, I was just fucking

2:24

over the hills about. And then we connected, we did

2:27

a podcast. And my biggest regret is

2:29

I didn't drink with you that morning. Oh,

2:31

my biggest regret. I was mad hungover though, I had

2:33

to get a Navi in your driveway that day. We

2:38

just went to the Roxy the night before, we played Kimball for

2:40

the first time, I remember I told you that

2:42

we hit a big old ripper off the bar at the

2:44

Roxy, I was over here hurting. Oh my God. Were you

2:47

looking for your dog? I was, I didn't hear his little

2:49

pause, or I was just wondering where he was. He was

2:51

just being a good dog, he probably was fucking door to our

2:53

house. He's made a family

2:55

here, I'm not sure I'm more excited to see

2:57

you guys are your dog. Oh, listen, the dogs

3:00

are hitting everywhere he goes. We have a rivalry

3:02

in the family over the dogs right now, he's

3:04

trying to make his bass and hound a

3:06

star, and I told him that it'll never happen, he was

3:08

always gonna be in Chachi's shadow. Sounds a

3:10

little haterish. I was like, I was

3:12

off with the loop, I was like, you know what

3:15

I mean? Do you find, and this

3:17

is, I'm the worst interviewer in the world, do

3:19

you find that you love animals more when you're

3:21

sober? I've always loved

3:23

animals. But when you were drinking, did you

3:25

find, I found I had a disconnect with

3:27

my animals. Like if I was

3:29

drinking, I would be not present, and not

3:32

drinking, I fucking love those dogs so much

3:34

more. It's almost like we talk to each

3:36

other. I'm back drinking. Maybe

3:38

it's a spiritual thing for you. Yeah.

3:40

Maybe it's more of a spiritual connection when you're sober. When

3:43

was your love of animals, because I feel

3:45

like we got the

3:48

same thing here, and the same thing here,

3:50

and this person cannot live

3:52

without animals. Oh, me either, cannot live.

3:55

Since I was a little girl. Same. Yeah,

3:57

I've always loved animals, you know, had animals. In

4:00

always rely on us. we're all. I will

4:02

never let you down so never break your

4:04

I. Don't leave. That

4:06

only. Goes on to describe it as. Like

4:10

all have my pound puppies. Are

4:12

we have always refer to have as I

4:14

found puppy was a heartache. Real. Tall.

4:17

What? I was a. Bad.

4:19

Human. Faded dogs hate to

4:22

see one reason as well as dogs

4:24

and kids hated me. It was like and

4:26

I was a bad he when I know that. I'll

4:28

never forget the true story soon as I get

4:30

out of jail. The. First gas station

4:33

from the jailbird. I'm in the gas

4:35

prices by twelve o three in the morning. And

4:37

his little kid. I'm an area for the still

4:39

was low tier rooms or two in the middle

4:41

of a nice and just grabs my leg starts

4:44

hug emailing us where is the true source and

4:46

the mother walks over bird and goes. I'm

4:48

so sorry. he never does it. And.

4:50

Right? And I was like a really important china because

4:52

I know I like it. was like prove to me.

4:55

Because in jail you're telling yourself it's ideological

4:57

talking like I'm saying and I'm get your

5:00

spirit right near my arrival to come home

5:02

with see that. Ever since then the second

5:04

kids love me I have kids the love

5:06

me alone Now we had a cat she

5:08

was a goddamn crow an amount of have

5:11

a crowd around and know get her parents

5:13

all a pair how and I would have

5:15

cats, steaks, hours or my backyard and allowing

5:17

the Iraqi. I

5:20

want to return and I won't cause. I

5:23

am. I have a murder of

5:25

crows and will five a. Million

5:32

chickens for a long time,

5:34

right? Now. And

5:36

album second. Weirded out by crows

5:39

and bunny martin pennies in our front

5:41

yard for on the travel. Channel

5:44

not have no idea. That

5:47

I have my doubts that they have started

5:49

to take a liking to. You have to

5:51

earn their trust rouser, not just take anybody.

5:53

Now you have to actually like earn their

5:55

trust. Latest ones they love you still follow.

5:58

you for generations and women and we

6:00

marry. She's naughty, you got to earn

6:02

a croissant. But more than

6:04

that, if

6:06

they love you, they bring you gifts. Yes, that's

6:09

why I bring you down shiny stuff. This

6:11

is fucking horrible. This is fucking shit, this

6:13

is shit. This is everything I thought I

6:15

was gonna be. We should never go on

6:17

vacation together. This is gonna end up

6:20

with me and him in the same bed story with Lee Baffney

6:22

and Matt. And you too,

6:24

Zinkriss, cross-apple club, you and your

6:26

tarot cards. No, they're doing me.

6:28

I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm ready.

6:31

My back is already packed. Let's go. This

6:33

is a neighborhood that never gave us money. This

6:35

is not even fucking funny.

6:38

These are the wrong people who made rich.

6:42

That's not true. Well, see, I think about it

6:44

too. Do you ever think you'd be

6:46

rich? No. Yes. I

6:49

thought I was a chamfer. No, I didn't. I'm not

6:51

even rich. I am. I'm not sure

6:53

if that's accurate. You don't know

6:56

where my money is. Aww, I do. I'm

6:58

gonna live like now. You

7:03

don't even know where your bank card is.

7:05

Exactly. You wear the pants, she controls the

7:07

zipper. I don't know. There you

7:09

go. I don't know where any of her money is. No,

7:11

I get it. And by the way, we would be broke

7:13

if it was my money. I would've spent a lot of

7:15

dumb as shit. On

7:18

dogs. On dogs and Savannah cat monitors.

7:22

Hold on. I

7:24

gotta start making pasta. Hold on. Today,

7:28

I'm making, so I know we have dietary restrictions.

7:30

Today, I'm making, I know you don't eat red

7:32

meat. And I know my diet's pretty crazy. I'm gonna

7:34

go off the rails today. One of my favorite dishes to

7:36

make in the world is

7:38

homemade pasta, handmade pasta.

7:40

It's a loving dish. I feel like when you

7:43

make it from scratch, you put all the energy

7:45

into it. And so we have this roller. We're

7:47

gonna hand make some pasta. We're gonna roll it out. We're

7:49

gonna get some noodles. We're gonna boil them. And

7:52

then I'm gonna do nests for each three of you. Three

7:54

different styles. We have scallops

7:56

with garlic and butter. We have a halo.

8:00

hair pasta only because it's the hardest I've ever left when

8:02

I was high. I was in Amsterdam and the guy said

8:04

I was like I'll take the pasta he goes you want

8:06

hair in it? I was like no. He was

8:09

like it's pretty good. I was like who's hair is

8:11

it? It's hard. And he's like everyone

8:14

seems to like it. And I couldn't stop laughing. You really want

8:16

hair in pasta? And

8:20

he goes you should try it. I went alright put your

8:22

fucking hair in my pasta. And then

8:24

he came and said it's rabbit motherfucker. But we

8:26

have rabbit you can try that or not try

8:28

it. I don't know if that's red meat. Technically

8:30

it's permanent. So and then I

8:32

also have a pink

8:34

sauce I'm gonna do. All

8:37

homemade all handmade but

8:39

and if and all you have to do is

8:41

sample it a little bit. I know everyone's got

8:43

everyone. I'm like crazy.

8:45

I never liked people with dietary restrictions and

8:47

now I'm so strict. Isn't it crazy how

8:50

age changes that for you? Did you get

8:52

bit by tick? No. No

8:54

no no no. I mean I've

8:56

been bit by butter. No it's

8:59

a redneck thing. We went to

9:01

her fucking her family and her

9:04

cousin. Never gonna stop dogging. You

9:06

know what someone tells you? Like

9:08

a real sincere ailment. And he

9:11

goes what? I can't eat none

9:13

with a hoof. And I went

9:15

what? I've never heard

9:17

of it. It's very popular in this country. If

9:20

you get bit by ticks you get allergic.

9:22

Definitely allergic to red meat. Oh no. Anything

9:24

with a hoof. And

9:27

so I was like whoa you're a redneck adjacent.

9:29

Yeah no no I've been bit by a bunch

9:31

of ticks. I thought you've seen

9:33

something over you got alerted you. I'm that high

9:35

bird. I was like do I look like a

9:37

head bit by a tick? I kind of got

9:39

scared for a second. I was like are there

9:41

ticks back there? You didn't tell me before we

9:43

got high. All right I'm gonna start the hair.

9:45

Is there a reason you didn't offer me a glass of

9:48

water? Oh yes yes. Just ask him.

9:50

No it was so funny I

9:52

just had to do it for a minute. You offered

9:54

me his dad. But I have a wine. I have

9:56

a lovely piece of wine. Thank you. Buddy

9:59

I'm I'm assuming the answer, but

10:01

it'd be rude if I didn't ask. Do you want a glass of wine?

10:03

No, thank you. Okay. That's

10:05

so funny. Hey, can you, I

10:07

know you guys are open books and I want to open the

10:09

book as much as possible because I feel like sometimes people jump

10:12

in like 10th chapter with people like you and

10:14

they don't know your whole story or your whole

10:17

story which I find the most endearing. And I

10:19

know you just did a podcast with Leanne. You

10:21

can go check out Wipe at the Party if

10:23

you want to see that. And that'll tell the

10:25

whole story. But I love, I love

10:27

the impulsiveness of your relationship, how quick it

10:29

happened and how strong you guys are. I

10:32

just watched you guys kissing on a car

10:34

with one leg up on a shoulder and

10:37

I was like, that's a fucking squandle from me.

10:40

But it's so fucking sexy and it's so

10:42

hot that you guys are legit

10:45

a Nashville power couple.

10:49

I mean this with respect, but that no one would

10:51

have put chips on. Ever. Ever.

10:54

We've always been the underdogs. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, that's

10:56

why I fight bullies because you know, it's like

10:58

I just always stand up to

11:00

the bullying online because it's like, we're not supposed to be here.

11:04

Yeah, it's already up, I'm worried Bert. Why

11:07

do you think you are? The show called Somethin's

11:09

Burning. You said that little Bert word, what he

11:11

had. I guess I got really hot. I should

11:13

have not made that that hot. Keep going, that

11:15

was my story. Oh,

11:18

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Let me. tell you something right now. We put

12:01

ours on our bed. I love

12:04

cold sleep. I love cold sleep. I'm

12:06

a sweater. I just am. And Leanne's

12:08

going to do menopause. Wasn't supposed to

12:10

say that. But cold sleep is

12:13

the key. My sleep efficiency is

12:16

at like 98% every single night. I

12:19

love my Eight Sleep. Improve the way

12:21

you sleep by using my link at

12:23

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12:26

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eightsleep.com/burning for a better, smarter

12:33

sleep. So if you said you're

12:35

not supposed to be here, then why do you think you

12:37

are here? Because we

12:39

wanted to be here. Yeah, for sure. And I think it

12:42

was truly purpose. I

12:44

think it was like, when

12:47

I say it, I mean it. It's like, I

12:50

think what we do is so different as

12:53

far as like how we approach, especially for me

12:55

with the music and just our love,

12:57

you know, is that I think it just shares something with people.

13:00

I don't know. I think it, I

13:02

think it's useful. I think it has a, has a

13:04

service act to it to a degree. And I think

13:06

that's what really connects. I think that's

13:08

what me and her talk about the most of Leanne

13:10

is that we focus on connection over entertainment anyways. You

13:13

know what I mean? It's just all about connection

13:16

for us. We're not, neither one

13:18

of us, well, she's entertaining. I'm not really. Oh,

13:20

stop it. You're entertaining. But I also think it's

13:25

just, and I don't like saying this because it's

13:27

like, is it real if you say it? But

13:29

it's like, we're just us and we're not trying

13:32

to sell you something. Right. Like we're just like

13:34

take it or leave it. You know, this is

13:36

how we are. If you fuck with us, you

13:38

do. If you don't, then it's okay. I'll tell

13:40

you what's sexy about you guys is that I

13:43

got to call someone out a little bit. Nate Borgazzi

13:45

said to me, gave me a very big compliment one

13:47

time. And he said, you know what

13:49

I like about you is you like your fans. And

13:52

I said, yeah, I love, I'm almost jealous

13:54

of my fans sometimes because they get to go to

13:56

something they like. I love going to shit. I like,

13:58

I love it. And so when I, I see

14:00

them, I get excited that they get to do the thing

14:02

they like. I think it's awesome. And

14:04

he said, dude, that translates is that you like

14:06

your fans. I love my fans. And I'm

14:10

going to skirt dance around it, but

14:13

sometimes people don't get the fans they want

14:15

and they don't like the fans they have

14:17

and you can see them not like their

14:19

fans and sometimes there's

14:21

a Hollywood snobbery about what your fans are that

14:24

I just have never connected with. Cause I

14:26

was so lucky to get anyone to like

14:28

me. That if you liked me, fucking,

14:30

I love you. And it's

14:32

the coolest thing about you is that your

14:34

fans, I feel are underrepresented people

14:37

that they show up and they go, no one's

14:39

talking to me the way he is and no

14:42

one's, we haven't dressed up

14:44

country music. We haven't razzled dazzled it,

14:46

sparkled it up. It's just real. Right.

14:48

Is this is, this is stuff that

14:50

talks to my lifestyle. I'm not saying

14:52

I even need to be a country

14:54

music fan. I just grew up in

14:57

Antioch, Tennessee, and this is the shit

14:59

that I resonate with. So

15:01

same thing as Dwight Yoakum, Dwight Yoakum wasn't

15:03

meant to be sexy. He's not a good

15:05

looking man. He's my favorite. In,

15:10

in the foothills of fucking

15:12

Texas, you get Dwight Yoakum or

15:14

in, in the foothills of Appalachia, you get

15:16

Dwight Yoakum. And I think that's the coolest

15:18

thing about you is that your

15:21

fans fucking. They

15:24

connect. No, dude. And you

15:26

connect with them. Yes. That's exactly what we're

15:28

saying, man. It's all about connection with us.

15:30

It's like, and I think, I don't

15:32

know, Bert, were you saying that's so real? Cause it's like, I

15:34

look at it like they're really us.

15:37

Yeah. It's really just, I'm in the seat. You

15:39

know what I mean? Like I'm just saying what I

15:42

wish somebody would have said for us. You

15:44

know what I mean? Does that make sense? Like that's all I'm

15:46

doing. I'm just like, yo, this is fucking, you know what I

15:48

mean? Like, all right, I'm going to get ready to make the

15:50

pasta. I only want to walk you through this. Cause I think

15:52

this is so fucking hot. He says that this is so sexy

15:54

and I was thinking we need to do this one night at home.

15:59

Make noodle. I was like, I

16:01

was like, I'll cook for you anytime. I

16:03

was like, me and Bert were just like...

16:06

I think you guys are actually almost

16:08

like twins. Yeah, yeah, no. It's not

16:11

crazy. Yeah. But,

16:13

Leanne and I have so many

16:15

similarities. No, it's crazy. I was just

16:18

telling her that you guys need women

16:20

like us to keep you grounded. Yeah.

16:22

Oh, fuck yeah. What do you think of

16:24

my funeral? Yeah. Oh, I love it. Oh,

16:27

God, what a fucking snag, daddy. No. What a

16:30

fucking man. Yeah. I

16:32

thought you both died the same day. Oh, how about

16:34

you? Hey, we can do that. How about you know

16:36

how to die? Let's go to Vegas tonight. Let's go

16:38

to Vegas. We started vlogging now. Oh, no. I'm

16:41

a motherf***. We talked about dying and all.

16:43

No. Look at these two. They're

16:45

like, hold on. They just started making money. I know. I

16:48

got it. All right. I

16:52

just want to show you how to make pasta. I think it's

16:54

so fucking sexy, okay? And this is my

16:56

favorite thing in the world that I'm going to

16:58

fuck up. We make a little pocket in here,

17:00

okay? Yeah. And this is all done

17:02

with a fork in your hand. And I will say that my forks are

17:04

in the thing I can't open.

17:07

Oh, yeah. Okay. I got it. I

17:10

got it. So, we cracked four eggs inside this

17:13

pasta. That's right. I can do it with

17:15

one hand. I was like, that's awesome. I'm going to do both.

17:17

Me too. We got salt in

17:20

there. I

17:22

fucking love making homemade

17:25

pasta. And now you just

17:27

start really kind of just welcoming in. You know

17:29

what else it is? Nothing else matters right now.

17:32

You can't think about nothing but just not fucking that up.

17:35

Yeah. You know what I mean? Well,

17:38

now all I'm thinking about is fucking this part. I'm

17:43

going like, don't spill off the fucking

17:45

thing. All right. A little

17:47

bit OCD. My OCD is crazy. I know it might sound

17:49

nerdy, but that's why I play video games. It's like the

17:51

only thing I can do that when I'm doing it, fucking

17:54

nothing else is happening. I'm just like, fucking, you know what I

17:56

mean? Makes sense. You're another world.

17:59

You guys have. You have so much going on too.

18:01

You have to have some kind of way. It's

18:03

like you have so much intensity.

18:05

You have to have some recovery. What

18:07

does your recovery look like? I

18:10

got some time down whenever I go home now, but you know

18:12

the biggest thing I did this year was dude, I probably drank

18:14

25 days a

18:16

month last year and I probably drank 27 times this

18:18

year. Really?

18:21

Yeah, he's been keeping it heavy on the green

18:23

dude. You know what I mean? Yeah. This fucking

18:25

smoking bottle. I'm a candy wife. I'm not sober

18:27

by any stretch of the means. Marijuana has been

18:30

like a fucking gift to me. Yeah,

18:32

right? It's fucking dude, it's it. It's

18:35

the wonder drug for me, dude. It's just instantly like fucking,

18:37

and if I get really good in high, I don't wanna

18:39

fuck it up with a drug. I

18:41

don't either. You know what I mean? Like if I get a

18:43

really good high. You get a better though, don't you know if

18:45

you do that? If you mix them? Well, you know I like

18:47

mixing stuff. Yeah, I know you do. That is

18:49

my preference, you know what I'm saying? For sure. Yeah.

18:54

I used to only drink as a vessel to

18:56

cocaine. It was just a vehicle to

18:58

blow. You know what I'm saying? Like

19:00

how many of these do I have to drink before I

19:02

can justify an eight ball? Yeah. You know

19:04

what I'm saying? That's what I think about a sandwich, is

19:06

the meat is just a vessel for bread. I

19:09

didn't burn a bread. I have the

19:11

nerdiest conversation I've ever heard. I fucking

19:13

love the idea. I know, I feel

19:15

how salmon is. It's real though. I

19:17

love it. Don't y'all love a good

19:19

sandwich? Y'all,

19:21

I just don't get it wrong, sorry. I

19:23

love it. But they have

19:26

weird as I do. Pasta's like

19:28

good sex. It's not wet at first,

19:30

but once it gets wet. I was just about to

19:32

ask, does it ever get wet? I

19:34

just had a moment. When you work it enough, it gets up.

19:37

I mean, it ends the first day. It's not wet, but it

19:39

ends the first day. It's about how you work it. Keep going,

19:41

man. All right, I love what you like. Do

19:44

you feel like you burned yours tonight? Yes, we

19:46

talked about this. So they have this thing that

19:48

they do. I don't know if the kids want

19:50

to tune out, but they have this

19:52

thing that they do. Bert brought

19:54

in this immaculate vase

19:57

of flowers. And

19:59

I was like, what is this? That warner and one eighth

20:01

of Euros for a. While. This

20:03

morning. Ah, Your mouth

20:05

my children. Air mas. This. Morning

20:07

he was like hey how about yeah on

20:09

like know I'm so busy and not does

20:11

he does the same thing you do my

20:14

guys you feel Nye google was another my

20:16

know. I'm. So busy birds are you

20:18

delighted? Will be running. Out like so busy,

20:20

having to be somewhere in like ten minutes. You like

20:22

a or suck my dick and are like no I

20:24

don't have time you know, as a. Sushi

20:29

sound like you're like a lot

20:31

of money and idea? yeah me.

20:33

either way to do I have

20:35

a good at a time when

20:37

one. Anyway, nothing okay. So now.

20:40

We're edge. Of first set of

20:42

rules so were said to him

20:44

this morning was. You. Can

20:46

have it, but you gotta earn

20:48

a successor. So he made me

20:50

breakfast. He's. A really sweet me

20:53

all day And then he bought me

20:55

this huge huge beautiful flower arrangement. The

20:57

came in the middle of our i

20:59

guess i'm thinking maybe a zones wait

21:01

What is that? Ah yeah I. Know

21:07

I wonder what? Oh. Say

21:12

I maybe all of you aren't so. On.

21:18

So I thinking maybe has earned. I've

21:20

never watched somebody. Make.

21:22

Pasta no Go zone and I know

21:25

I've never seen this process ever verge

21:27

of arts and crafts other. the ways

21:29

in which is just Adam bars were

21:31

from with you on the road sensitive

21:33

of the whole talk of amazing world

21:35

who do the he brought the like

21:38

who battled hundreds of loves users succeeds.

21:40

The comedy do with my Go version

21:42

the oldest. It's a twenty minute change

21:44

over every have found between X. So.

21:46

It's like how so what can we do to

21:49

feel that up? So he does like the the

21:51

goddamn comedy jam birds and between says now for

21:53

credible dirty goes other does the crowd like. This.

21:56

Is for the super interact. Every crowd serve

21:58

gives away tickets every night. Really

22:00

great dude. What a great opportunity you gave him

22:02

to put him in front of an audience that may not Really

22:06

do jelly's jelly's different and this is

22:08

I think once again where we connect

22:10

jelly's like a fan Artist

22:12

first like he loves shit. He loves

22:14

good shit, and he's always been

22:16

nice not a hater Doesn't fucking

22:18

dislike shit because that's the popular thing

22:20

to do. I say this all the

22:22

time now I'd never be too cool to be a

22:24

fan Number one dude never

22:26

be too cool to be a fan Roses

22:29

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dates? Do it

23:53

secret treat Royal peanut. I

23:55

made boiled peanuts. Oh, let's go I

24:00

don't know if they're any good. You

24:03

check them out, see if you like them. So

24:05

I did a sweet Thai chili. It's my favorite.

24:07

Oh, you're saying that? Yeah, my favorite. They

24:10

look hot. Do you just eat the

24:12

shell too? You can. Oh,

24:14

oh, okay. So I did a

24:16

sweet Thai chili. I think they

24:18

need salt maybe. They're really hot. I'll put my gum, all

24:20

right. But they're of course, be careful.

24:23

But they're, I like the Dorito

24:25

sweet Thai chili. Here.

24:31

Oh, that's a lot of salt. All

24:33

right, stir that around guys. Try

24:36

to raise the blood pressure bird. Yeah,

24:39

here. Bubba, can I borrow you for another

24:41

liquid dance? Oh,

24:43

she, oh, maybe you chopped it. They're fine.

24:46

Oh, okay. Not a

24:48

pretty good. And then here,

24:51

I said to put some of this on, that's what they

24:53

do with the Cajun ones. So

24:55

I want to do a sweet Thai chili. I feel like,

24:57

you know, if we're going to start

24:59

real businesses, we need to get into some bed

25:01

next year. There's a lot of fucking

25:04

white space and

25:07

fucking boiled peanuts. All they got Cajun and salt

25:09

in it so much. I've

25:11

never had a boiled peanut. No, really

25:14

all over the South. You

25:17

can't go anywhere without. They're

25:19

awesome too. I feel like there

25:21

could be so much more done with boiled peanuts.

25:25

Yeah. I don't know if I can go with the

25:27

entire. Like flavored boiled peanuts. Like you could

25:29

do ranch or like bill pickle flavored. Raps

25:31

snacks are fucking outrageous. This could be

25:34

the white trash wrap snacks, Bert. We

25:36

do curry, do like a

25:39

sweet Thai chili. Yo. I

25:41

love it. White trash

25:43

wrap snacks, dude. Another good death. You

25:47

know, the big thing now is, alcohol,

25:49

weed, weed drinks. Yes.

25:53

I don't know, I don't trust them. I'm scared

25:55

of anything that activates that quick unless it's mushrooms.

25:58

I prefer to drink a mushroom. over

26:01

a like eat one. You know what I mean? But I'd

26:03

rather eat an edible than drink. Does that make sense or

26:05

am I high? And how do you feel about eating mushrooms?

26:08

Uh, I don't know. I

26:11

mean, I like to talky. Would you eat mushrooms,

26:13

Liam? I don't think so. I don't

26:15

really like drugs. I mean, I'm so boring.

26:18

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not call it a plain-age

26:20

drug. Okay, let's be polite to the fungus, right?

26:22

Colithnogenic? Okay, I'll take that. I'm gonna end up

26:24

with that. I don't know fast-hanging. Make you feel

26:26

a little less dirty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

26:29

No, I don't know. I've never been, I don't know. I've

26:31

never done a who's-na-gen. Have you ever, you've never done mushrooms?

26:33

No. You would be a fucking...

26:35

I've never done cocaine. She'd be hilarious. Oh, dude,

26:38

you'd be crushing. He might, no. He might. Who

26:40

or not? He might not. Dude,

26:42

I think it's worth rolling by. I'm gonna burn

26:44

up. I'm gonna burn up. All right, you gotta

26:47

watch on this pasta, right? Yeah, so let's do the pink sauce. Okay,

26:49

let's start doing the pink sauce. Do

26:51

you like a pink sauce? Yeah, is the pink sauce

26:53

like a vodka sauce? Yes. Kind

26:55

of? Okay, cool. Yeah. Let's

26:58

go into this pot. Yep,

27:00

this pot. I'm

27:04

getting excited though. Yeah. It'll be yummy.

27:06

What happened to the dough? It's

27:09

resting, it's got a rest. Are you

27:11

putting it in the fridge or the freezer? Put it in the room

27:14

temperature. Is your dog allergic to any foods? No,

27:16

he loves it all. Okay, good. He

27:18

loves it all. The super

27:21

easy. It is

27:24

peppers, shallots, garlic, a

27:28

little white wine to reduce. And

27:31

then we do the red sauce and then we

27:33

put the cream and cheese in later. I

27:35

was saying that out loud to make sure I was doing that

27:37

right. All right, perfect. Double checking with the bowl. Yeah. Do you

27:40

guys cook at home? Oh yeah, I

27:42

cook every day. For real? Yeah.

27:44

What do you like cooking? I do

27:46

a vodka sauce with protein pasta

27:49

and ground chicken. Protein pasta?

27:51

Mm-hmm, yeah. It's so long.

27:53

I almost made a non-keto

27:56

pasta. Because I'm keto.

27:58

And then I was like, I don't like it. I'm like putting my dietary

28:01

restrictions on other people. Oh, we're open to whatever. You

28:03

guys are open to weather? Oh, cool. That's why Lian

28:05

and I brought you here. So we're

28:07

thinking. You

28:10

missed it. They almost kissed. It

28:12

was fun. Lian almost made me cry. And I was just like, Lian,

28:14

do you want to make out? So

28:18

that I didn't cry. Lian's

28:20

a better kisser today than she was when I met

28:22

her. Aw. Aw, is that right?

28:24

Yeah. I had to teach her. Or

28:26

maybe you're a better kisser. I'm the

28:28

grossest kisser in the world. Are you all tongue

28:30

or lips? I have a

28:32

lot of tongue. A lot of eye contact.

28:36

That's the worst. Eye contact?

28:39

That's actually not true. Not a

28:42

lot of oral hygiene. That's

28:45

actually true. Yeah,

28:48

I am not. I would never

28:50

kiss me. There's times she's kissed me. And

28:52

I was like, she needs to brush

28:54

her teeth. And then I'm

28:56

like, wow, she went through that. He's

28:59

just lucky. I grew up with a bunch

29:01

of bands. Yeah. A bunch of

29:04

bras. My wife's the opposite. She'll

29:06

worry about, like, Bunny will wake

29:08

straight up and her breath will smell incredible. And she'll

29:10

be like, hold on, I got to run. Bunny's like,

29:13

I got to run. And I'm just fucking last night

29:15

to liquor all my shit. Just, oh. Aw,

29:18

come here. You woke me up the other morning and said, you

29:20

cannot drive our daughter to school. And then

29:22

one of my clients goes, you reek of alcohol. And I'm

29:24

like, for real? She was like, yeah, you need to

29:26

go back to bed. I've

29:29

been good with booze this

29:31

year, end of this year, starting

29:33

from July on. I've been really good with

29:35

booze. You've lost a lot of weight. How

29:37

about weight loss? I feel amazing.

29:39

Thank you very much. I feel very amazing.

29:41

I feel amazing. Can I say something? It

29:43

might be a wrong analysis, but I feel

29:45

like you're in a place in your life

29:47

where right now you're just training for fully

29:49

loaded. You know what I'm saying? You're like

29:51

a fighter. That's the accurate assessment. To get

29:54

the fully loaded. There's an accurate fucking assessment.

29:56

You're going to completely unravel for four months.

29:58

Yup. That is a fucking accurate assessment. be

30:00

your new balance in life is

30:02

eight and four eight months of

30:04

getting ready for four just fucking

30:07

just fucking hell week the fully

30:09

loaded comedy festival remember being Bailey

30:11

went so of course you met my daughter that I

30:13

brought my 15 year old our 15 year old

30:16

and me and her still

30:18

talk I mean it might have been one

30:20

of the coolest experiences I've ever had that

30:22

was fucking an incredible evening but

30:25

I'm telling you I've seen a lot of shows man because

30:27

I'm a fan back to being not too cool to be

30:29

a fan I don't think you're a fan yeah

30:31

I don't think yeah because you never

30:33

stop loving what you do and you never stop

30:35

appreciating the people that are even getting bigger than

30:37

you for sure dude I'll tell you we were

30:39

just talking about Laney Laney Wilson yeah

30:42

I'm a fan Laney would do this too

30:44

by the way I would love like I

30:46

got a couple of friends in country music

30:48

that would like come do this kind of

30:50

shit cuz this is kind of wild you

30:52

know yeah it's like what we did not

30:54

typical Nashville doesn't understand yes but Laney is like

30:56

one of the ones that would like come over

30:58

here right now and be a hoot now oh

31:00

yeah you know I mean she didn't see you

31:02

she didn't deal with you she just be

31:05

over Louisiana so was just the thing but you'd love her

31:07

too man she's a sweet

31:11

sweet song I would love to do it

31:13

and her dude man duck was a was

31:15

a college athlete he threw football like I

31:17

were some way who's your boy duck Devlin

31:19

Hodges really yeah you love him dude

31:22

man he's a he's a real real college athlete

31:24

he shows up to award shows in like camo

31:26

suits yeah this is me a little buzz talking

31:34

out of my ass do you think

31:36

that's why everyone's gravitating towards comedy and

31:38

country music is that no

31:41

one's really lying yeah or who

31:43

they are I think the middle of

31:45

the country doesn't lie about who they are

31:48

they just are who they are yeah right

31:50

where we grew up right in

31:53

Ohio and Nebraska and Texas once

31:55

you get to the coast I

31:57

think it starts we all live in

31:59

the coast I'll I love California. I love everything about where

32:01

I live. But it is a little bit of

32:03

a different mentality. Oh yeah. You know, and

32:06

one's not better than the other. They're just

32:08

different. They're really different. And the

32:11

middle of America, I think, gets sometimes lost

32:13

on the coast. The coast don't

32:15

get it. And

32:17

yeah, it's really great. What's

32:21

happening in comedy is really inspiring.

32:23

And same with country music. It's

32:25

really inspiring. This show is

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starting to smell really good, Bert. Yeah. So

33:55

you know when you started fucking with this.

33:58

Yeah. Started getting all up in the. What

34:00

are we looking at in the past? Did we start

34:02

rolling it yet? No. Start

34:05

with the next sauce. Yeah.

34:07

Next sauce, half butter. Yep, half that butter garlic. I

34:12

love good knives. You know what's cool about this

34:14

dynamic about doing it with our wives? What's up?

34:17

Until you gotta ask somebody a

34:19

question about something, I forget

34:21

we're filming. Yeah. I've had a couple of moments

34:23

where I really was sitting here like, yo, we're

34:25

just fucking having a dinner day. Just first cooking

34:27

for it. Yeah, first fucking cooking. This is exactly

34:29

what it would be like if you were at my house. Yeah.

34:33

I love that. It's about why, to

34:35

his testament, what started all this is why is

34:37

comedy winning or why is country winning? It's

34:39

that connectivity of like, you know what the fuck you

34:41

get. You know what I mean? Like, you

34:43

know who these people are. It's awesome, Dave. You know who

34:45

I am to a fault, I think. I

34:47

could have bit my tongue a couple of

34:49

times. Our kids probably would appreciate

34:51

a little less. We had a

34:53

weird sum on the clock every other day. I would say just

34:55

love you guys for who you guys are, though, too. It's

34:58

like I don't know how to do it a different way. I

35:01

just know how to be who I am and be who I

35:03

am to my fullest. I'm

35:06

afraid because I do tell stories.

35:09

I got really early.

35:12

I got nervous. I

35:14

was like, tell the truth. Just tell the truth about everything.

35:16

Tell all your secrets. Get it all out there. It's the

35:19

thing I love the most about Stern. Tell

35:21

all your truths, tell all your secrets. Then

35:23

you never have to worry about getting caught up in

35:25

a lie. Yep. Tell the truth. That's

35:28

what we did. Then all of a sudden your truths sometimes freak

35:30

people out. They're sometimes a little aggressive

35:32

for everybody. Sometimes they have

35:34

people connect with them. But ultimately

35:36

they're your truths. You can't deny who the

35:39

fuck you are. That's how you keep your

35:41

power. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

35:45

They can use it against you. They can't use it against you if you

35:48

shine light on it. Life's too short. It's

35:50

exhausting to be somebody else. Oh, I couldn't imagine.

35:53

Especially when you're going to put yourself in the public eye.

35:55

You can't have a private life. No. You

35:58

just got to be who you are all the time. That's what me and her team did. decided

36:00

early. We have to talk. You guys,

36:02

especially now, we're getting like super open.

36:04

Like you when you talk about your

36:06

past, I go, I don't

36:09

know. It makes me feel like

36:11

I fall in love with you. No one does

36:13

that. No one does that. Nobody

36:16

talks about it. Like, it's firing. What is

36:18

15 years from now look like for you

36:20

guys? Well, I was telling Leigh Ann

36:23

so she told me so many gems in this

36:25

podcast that they do that I absolutely love. I

36:28

told her about how we did the five year

36:30

plan. He wouldn't bang me the first night. He

36:32

made me make a five year plan and then he I

36:35

did the same thing. I thought you were a whore.

36:38

I thought

36:41

I was a little bit more whore. Alright, listen,

36:43

I was a scientist. I have a therapy people.

36:46

But they do a thing called every year because you

36:48

know how you always want these five year plans and

36:50

we just haven't had time to sit down and plan

36:52

it. Yeah, they do something every year called the Summit

36:55

where they come to the table and go

36:57

ahead. Tell them and we talk about everything.

36:59

What do you want? What? How

37:02

much money? No, we're out there. Where are

37:04

the scary places? What do you want to

37:06

achieve? What do you want for your kids?

37:08

What do you want for your marriage? We're

37:10

doing Yeah, where are you? And here's where

37:12

I am. Right. And it's not emotional. It's

37:14

just like a meeting. Yeah.

37:16

Because you know, marriage is a relationship,

37:19

but it's also kind of a partnership for sure.

37:21

The partnership. So we have we've been

37:23

doing that forever. And we call it the summit

37:25

because bird is not a like five year plan

37:27

guy that is dramatic. You gotta be like, you

37:29

know, there's

37:32

gotta be some kind of firework. Yeah, I like the

37:36

razzle dazzle. I

37:38

just show up for a summit. If you want to like

37:40

have a family meeting. That

37:48

was amazing. Right? Yeah, that's all

37:50

I'm I'll sign up for a summit. Well, we do the vision board.

37:52

We do the vision board. Yeah, we do the vision boards every year.

37:54

Vision boards are awesome. Vision

37:56

boards are fucking awesome. Yeah, vision boards

37:58

are awesome. I ever. Every year on

38:01

my birthday, I write

38:03

down goals for every year. I

38:05

am old. You guys do it privately? I've

38:07

been doing it since I was 26. I

38:09

take myself to dinner and I do it.

38:12

I love shit. I love shit people would

38:14

make fun of because I think

38:16

ultimately in high school, I was the

38:18

guy that you should have made fun of. I

38:21

was that guy and I've been that guy my

38:23

whole fucking life. This is a lot

38:25

of scallops for three people. I've

38:28

always been that person and

38:30

I like that person and I've looked up to

38:33

that person. That's what's so cool about what's going

38:35

on on social media and I know this is

38:37

mockable very easily. The

38:41

whole thing about this self-help journey and

38:43

these self-help gurus, I like

38:45

it. I don't dislike it. Listen, if I don't

38:47

believe you, I don't listen to you. Absolutely. You

38:50

just scroll. Yeah, you just scroll. Same thing with art.

38:52

You don't like it, just keep scrolling. I don't even

38:54

spend time shitting on you. I was just talking

38:56

to somebody about this the other day. If you grew up in

39:00

a family unit or a culture that

39:02

stays the same generation after generation, how

39:05

do you learn something new? If you're not exposed

39:07

to it and social media can expose you

39:09

to stuff that you may not have any

39:11

access to? I mean, my hometown had

39:14

1,600 people, one red light. I

39:18

had three people like a date in high school

39:20

and they were my third cousins. It was not

39:22

an option to be real broad. My

39:25

cousin told me he broke up and my dad went,

39:27

thank God, you know he's your cousin. Oh, what?

39:29

Like damn dad, thank you. Yeah, he's going

39:32

to hand it up. Everything goes to shit.

39:35

That's it. Everything's done. Everyone's

39:37

dead. It's just you on this

39:40

earth and a pile of this drug in

39:42

a library with books. That's

39:44

it. No one's on this earth. Yeah. Let's

39:46

go around the room. What are you doing, daddy? No one's on

39:48

this earth. If you

39:51

in the library, you got all powers

39:53

up forever. You can watch videos, you can watch,

39:55

play video games, but it's you. You're the only

39:57

person on earth and this drug and you have

39:59

no... There's no reason to live. There's no reason to live.

40:02

What's the drug? What's the

40:04

drug? What's the book and or video game

40:07

and or author or TV show? I'll start!

40:09

Alright. It is going to be

40:12

vodka. Alright. It's going to be the

40:14

TV show Quantum Leap. Oh

40:16

my god. For real?

40:18

Yup. Oh dear. And

40:20

you leave me alone. You leave me alone. I

40:23

wouldn't mind a couple 40s in there but that's it. That's

40:26

all you need. But vodka's not a drug. What's the drug? I

40:28

don't know if I need the drug. I think alcohol's

40:31

a drug. Okay so alcohol's a choice too. Yeah, yeah.

40:33

Alcohol. I'm taking weed. Oh

40:35

good fucking call. Give me a slow

40:37

death by the way. You're answering fucking

40:39

pictures. I'm taking college. Are

40:42

we trying to die? I'm taking a college

40:44

and eating weed? Yeah college and eating weed.

40:46

I'm taking weed. Who wrote a bunch of

40:49

books? I'm taking R.L. Stein. Nobody

40:51

wrote more books than R.I. I think he

40:53

wrote more books than everybody. Right. I'm an

40:55

audio listener. He was the goosebumps

40:57

guy right? What are our famous books? Yeah. You just

40:59

pick goosebumps for your fucking goosebumps? No! There's like a

41:02

thousand of them! Oh my god! There's no one to

41:04

go goosebumps! He was going to the old man! He

41:06

was going for volume. Hold on a second. He's taking

41:08

strategy. Let me just give you a... My queen? Free

41:10

scoot, mom? Hold on! We didn't get goosebumps! I

41:12

didn't pick goosebumps! I didn't pick goosebumps! I was going

41:14

to say my favorite. I was going to say like

41:17

seven books. I didn't pick a book. There's

41:19

got to be John Grestle and I'll just read those. There's

41:21

a lot of them. We've got a lot to do. Probably

41:23

pick like Board of the Rings and I can't remember any

41:25

of their names. Yeah. Something like Blodhard. Blodhard? Blodhard?

41:28

Blodhard? Yeah.

41:31

Oh a little lemon juice. I'll

41:35

put in some papers. Fuck yeah. I can't

41:37

remember. Some paper. That's not how you do

41:39

papers. Hang on. Do not thank Stacey. No

41:41

one sees her. 1

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42:56

time do we have? You check out the yard. We're one hour

42:59

in. We are not at 9 30

43:01

yet. We got planes to catch.

43:03

We got cities to go to. Jelly, please

43:05

take these joints with you. Oh, I rolled

43:07

them for you. I want you to have

43:09

them. I want you to have them. They're

43:11

so fucking good. I promise

43:14

you they'll be put to use. That's

43:16

what I love about you. I love you too,

43:19

Babbles. I noticed... Let's

43:24

get real for a second. That's what I love about you. That's

43:26

what I love about myself. Stacy can get in my shot.

43:31

But it's the thing that our wives worry about.

43:35

The thing they love about us is the thing we

43:37

are and the thing we tether to

43:40

but it also will be our ultimate

43:43

destruction. We

43:45

love, we love. That you never say no.

43:48

We don't say no. Yeah. Yeah. A lot

43:50

of no-go very much. I don't say no

43:52

to fucking... Because I came

43:54

from a place where there wasn't a lot worth

43:56

saying yes to. So

43:58

now it's like you have all... Like there wasn't

44:00

anything happening. So now the shit's happening. You're like,

44:02

whoa. Yes. I'll take I'm fucking yes, dude It's

44:05

like hell. Yeah, it's playing also just living by

44:07

that old bale and hay while the Sun shining

44:09

shit Never jump off a winning horse said never

44:11

jump off a winning horse is the biggest woman

44:13

would say Never

44:15

jump off a winning horse. Yeah You're

44:20

trading up my make hay while the Sun shine

44:23

make hay while the Sun shines yeah

44:25

fucking thing Oh Rolled

44:28

thinner. Yeah. Okay.

44:31

Yeah We

44:34

got it. Yeah, I Hear

44:38

this clicking by

44:40

the way, see I bet I could roll it out and cut it You

44:47

mean instead of going through the cranks, I don't

44:49

know let's see let's see what happens we cheat at

44:51

home We have a pasta machine and you just

44:53

dump everything in it and turn it on. I've

44:55

never made homemade pasta I think I'm gonna try

44:58

now Oh

45:01

Wow No,

45:03

I just need I Feel

45:06

like I'm rolling a joint. Okay, so my drug

45:09

If we're doing alcohol is Prosecco.

45:11

Okay, they love Prosecco my team

45:15

Yeah, or both clicko And

45:19

Jane Austin is my author and

45:21

TV show. I think would be mash. I

45:24

swear that I was gonna say that But

45:28

you know why I love mash is I watched

45:30

it every night with my dad so it's a

45:33

good a good memory It was

45:35

his favorite show or Samford and Sun.

45:37

Yeah, one of those suits every single.

45:39

Yeah, so it's mine What's

45:41

your draw? I think if I

45:44

was gonna have to be stuck somewhere. I would probably

45:46

want to do mushrooms Cuz I

45:48

would want to just not be in reality and

45:50

it's controllable and it's from the

45:53

earth Yeah, somewhat controllable and then

45:55

probably my TV show would

45:57

be Roseanne I love

45:59

Roseanne barre I just Roseanne is a

46:01

great fucking TV show. Yeah, that's

46:03

great. And then books

46:06

would probably be like

46:08

the Alice in Wonderland trilogy just because I'd

46:10

be on mushroom. Right? I

46:12

would wanna just be like, you know,

46:14

next one, choice. Yeah. Now I'm

46:16

gonna cut it thin. I know what I'm gonna do. I

46:19

got this. I'm so fucking

46:21

excited for this pasta. I'm

46:23

gonna cut our pasta in little

46:26

strips. Interesting.

46:28

Okay. Oh, we're hand

46:30

cutting the pasta. I like it. Let's

46:32

go, Papa. Are you gonna twist them up?

46:36

Nope. Okay. Nope.

46:39

They're gonna be eating just an inside. What's

46:41

your name? You gotta be Alfredo. Don't worry

46:44

about it. No, I'm Joanne. Hey, are you

46:46

on my team right now? I'm

46:48

just saying. But

46:51

the problem is here. No, there's no problem.

46:54

It's got it? There's no problem. Trust me, trust me,

46:56

trust me. No one likes big long pieces

46:58

of pasta. No, but they're gonna cook at different

47:00

times because you guys are thinner. No,

47:02

you. So if you put

47:04

the thin and the thick in the same pot of water, it's

47:07

gonna eat a water. No, you were shutters, I can hit her.

47:09

Yeah. Or dumpties. Y'all

47:11

playin'. Leanne, just allow me

47:13

the opportunity to be an artist. What?

47:16

Do Leanne, shut your mouth. I know what you're gonna say. I

47:19

wasn't gonna say anything to you. This is the box, right? Look

47:21

at this. Yes. I'm just sitting

47:24

here. I love that you're fucking hand cutting pasta. I

47:26

can't get over this. He's so serious. The whole situation keeps

47:29

taking turns, I don't see it. No, literally. The

47:31

beauty of cooking pasta this thick is

47:34

the conversation. Yeah. All

47:37

the water is boiling. Let's see how

47:39

we do it. You know, this

47:41

is how they used to make it in Italy back when Mussolini ran

47:43

the show. Is that right? I think

47:46

so. Let's crank this up to high.

47:49

And let's dump this pasta. Did you, hey, did

47:51

you put peat? Perfect.

47:56

Oh, this is awesome. This

47:59

is gonna be good. Yeah,

48:01

we'll stir some sauces. Let's

48:04

get rid of this bad bitch. I

48:07

just can't wait to plate this. This

48:09

was a meal. Thank you for doing this. This

48:13

is really cool. Yeah. Oh, fuck

48:15

yeah. Do you? This

48:17

is cooking. You can do that. And then you

48:19

put the cream and cheese in there. Alright, great.

48:21

I don't know, but it looks good. Let's see.

48:24

Let's start it. Oh.

48:28

Do you normally do meals this extravagant for

48:30

the show? Uh, yeah. Well, I

48:32

don't know. I was a little special for this show.

48:34

I don't know. I've seen it

48:36

all. Yeah. I've seen them do sandwiches.

48:38

I've seen them do burgers. I've seen them

48:40

do some wild shit. He's done off of buco. He's

48:42

done all kinds of things. I don't know what it

48:44

does. Isn't it a lamb shank? Oh, wow. Yeah,

48:46

he's done some real good. I don't know. He's

48:49

done some real good. That looks so fucking pretty. Bro, I've

48:51

been waiting on you to open that. That

48:53

looks so pretty. Smell his make it does. It's

48:55

so good. You smell it right? Like

48:58

whatever that is. That's where the crack

49:00

is. The crack is right here. Give me a big

49:02

old bowl of that. And the cream?

49:04

Do you need to turn the volume down? I

49:07

wouldn't smell that good. I didn't even have cream. Oh. Oh.

49:11

Ooh. Right. That's where

49:13

the box could come from. Oh. Oh,

49:16

yeah. With the big old thing. Oh, shut.

49:18

Someone's going to have to call.

49:20

Mother fucker. There's

49:23

nothing sexier than food. Food

49:26

is so fucking hot. And

49:28

you know, you think of like all the times

49:30

in our world when like people

49:32

just ate, you know, wolf or whatever. Who thinks

49:34

about that? Who thinks about that? Who thinks about

49:36

that? I'm done talking. I'm done talking.

49:38

I'm done talking. I'm done talking. I'm like, that's

49:40

ridiculous. I don't have wolf ever. I don't even

49:42

ever catch a wolf. Broly, I'm so proud of

49:45

your sobriety. I really am. Thank you. It's

49:47

so fucking cool. The funny thing is when I talk to

49:49

people about their sobriety, it's funny because I'm like, I don't

49:51

think y'all understand. Yeah,

50:01

yeah, honey was a fucking

50:03

wild fucking horse. You

50:05

know what I mean? Just a wild Mustang

50:08

it was fucking I tell people all the

50:10

time bird I married a tiger I

50:24

am a panther I Love

50:29

that I'm a panther. I'm not a

50:31

rescue dog. Yeah, she's not a street getters

50:33

both of our chicks got penny stock That

50:36

fucking split. Yeah, no one bet

50:38

on us. I just sometimes I

50:40

tag Ex-girlfriends and pictures of

50:42

me getting on private jet They

50:45

can go wait. Why am I tagged in this? Oh,

50:47

wait, that's Bert. Oh I

50:50

look at the earrings ex-boyfriends her

50:52

cousin I

50:56

don't know if he even knows it. He's totally

50:58

kidding. I'm totally kidding This

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51:37

crown is yours Take

51:40

these out and reduce the sauce Cool

51:43

stays you need a bigger plate,

51:45

honey You want a

51:47

bigger plate My

51:50

fingers are fucking on

51:52

fire. No That's

51:57

charging still eating stuff off the floor. Oh

51:59

no, no He went that way. I

52:02

told him to go that way. Okay. We

52:06

have two dog beds in there. Our

52:08

dogs come to work every day. Aw, I

52:10

love that. Every

52:12

time I do a podcast, he's literally just sitting in my lap

52:14

sleeping. He can like, sometimes he'll see his head pop

52:16

up and he'll look around and then he'll lay back

52:18

down. He's so cute. He's such a good dog. He's

52:21

a good dog. Reduce this. Reduce

52:25

this. That's reducing.

52:29

What is reducing? Getting

52:31

this liquid to disappear. The

52:33

reason we have white wine in

52:35

there is that the sugar in the white wine is

52:37

going to cook. The alcohol in the white wine is going to cook

52:39

down and leave the sugar in there. And it's

52:41

going to be fucking amazing. See these bubbles? It's reducing

52:44

right now. And so you just want it to get

52:46

thicker. And then we'll drop these

52:48

back in. This pasta should be done

52:50

on what we can do. You're going to put that where?

52:53

I'm going to take pasta, probably three healthy chunks. Put one in

52:55

there, one in there, one in there. I

52:57

might just top that on top of it and put them in

52:59

it and let them just soak in

53:01

it. But this is reducing

53:03

right now beautifully. You can see it,

53:05

Nate. God damn it. This is a

53:07

sexy sauce. It's like

53:10

a phone party. You ever go to a phone party? Yes, one time

53:12

I was... You ever been to a phone party by the way? Yeah,

53:14

Panama City. Panama City. Panama City is where they were. Vegas,

53:17

too. Vegas of them. I

53:19

don't know... I have to measure when I say it because

53:21

my buddy's like, We can take our dicks out. I

53:24

was like... because he was up to here. He

53:26

was like, What? Somebody just touched my dick. This

53:28

is crazy. Yeah, I've been to a phone party.

53:30

I was so itchy afterwards. His tongue

53:32

sticks out of his mouth. All the time. Oh,

53:35

it never goes back. His breath smells like shit. He used to be like,

53:37

Yo, you done cooked a pasta. Is he just laying there? He just staring

53:39

at me going, What are you dropping now? You're

53:41

a new B.F.M. He's like, Yo, what's up? Joey

53:43

never been to you right now. You going to

53:45

pull them noodles off? I think so. Do you

53:47

like a Mel Dente or Smushy? The question is,

53:49

do you like a Mel Dente? And how much egg do you

53:51

like cooked in your pasta? No,

53:54

the pasta is thick. It's pretty

53:56

fucking good. We just tried it.

54:00

it give it a second more. I want this

54:02

to reduce the second more and we're almost done. What time do

54:04

we have? Oh, we

54:07

gotta get rolling. Let's go. How long are

54:09

you in Vegas? We're fine. Yeah,

54:11

we're fine. I can push back. I can push back.

54:13

The plane ain't going nowhere. Yeah. And that's

54:15

the beautiful thing. The plane ain't going nowhere

54:18

without it. Can

54:20

you talk about going up poor?

54:23

What's the one thing you bought where you went? Alright,

54:26

I made it. That's like the first time I

54:29

flew private. I was like my dad never did

54:31

this. Yeah. This is crazy. This is wild. I'll

54:34

never forget this moment. Uh

54:36

by Mercedes that for

54:38

me was like my dad's shit. Yeah.

54:40

What was the one thing where you spend money

54:42

where like my family, my great grandfather will

54:45

be shocked that our family is doing this right now. When

54:47

I bought Bunny and G Wagon. Oh,

54:50

I saw that G Wagon. Yeah. Oh, that's what

54:52

I bought Bunny and G Wagon. That was the

54:54

time for me whenever it was like because that's

54:56

the shit we dreamed about together like we'd be

54:59

talking about like how

55:01

I ended up with a bastard hound like when you just don't

55:03

have nothing and you're just hanging out all together and you're just

55:05

like we ever make it. I want a bastard hound with floppy

55:07

ears. I want a G Wagon. I'm like I wanna you know

55:10

what I mean?

55:12

Like we just start making those dreams up laying

55:14

in bed late at night pillow talking broke as

55:16

fuck and then it came to fruition.

55:19

It gets even cooler. I bought her a Jeep first

55:23

a year two years before I bought the G Wagon

55:25

because I didn't think I'd ever be able to afford

55:27

the G Wagon. In the video, he said, baby, I know it's

55:29

not the G Wagon but it's all I can get

55:31

and I was like, oh, and I got it

55:33

because to me that was like, yeah,

55:36

you know what I mean? I can afford this fucking this Jeep

55:38

like this is awesome. And I was like,

55:41

I might not ever get to the G Wagon. So, okay, I

55:43

have a question for you, right? Did

55:45

you ever think that someone would love you

55:48

the way he loves you? No,

55:50

I didn't think that I would ever

55:53

find a healthy love. I had lived

55:55

off toxicity and past like that,

55:57

you know that that

55:59

horrible. type of relationship. I love

56:01

addiction. Yeah. And I never knew how to

56:04

love property properly. And him and

56:06

I both didn't know how to do that. And

56:09

we had to learn together. And that's what I say

56:11

whenever I talk about us healing together is we had,

56:13

we didn't have examples of how to love. My dad's

56:15

been married seven times. His father

56:17

was married six or seven times.

56:19

Wow. You were born in Alabama, right?

56:21

No, I was born in Georgia. You're

56:25

from Alabama? Yeah. What's the deal? There's a

56:27

law. So Alabama will let you marry as

56:30

many times as you want, I think. Really?

56:32

But typically Georgia won't. There's

56:34

only so many marriages. And all

56:36

I know for sure is whatever that limit is

56:38

in the state of Tennessee is how many times

56:40

my father got married. Wouldn't you want to talk

56:42

to him after a while? I'm beating your dad

56:44

on that. What is the point of getting

56:46

married that many times? I don't understand it.

56:49

It's crazy. You

56:51

know, after

56:53

like the fourth one, you want to

56:55

be like, oh, God. But

56:59

yeah, I

57:02

don't really know. It's not the way

57:04

I chose to live my life. I

57:06

didn't actually think anybody I would love,

57:08

I would have anybody love me like

57:11

you. My dad loved me unconditionally all

57:13

the time. But when

57:15

we were first together, I actually

57:17

said to him, I don't think you want one. There's

57:20

too much baggage here. I don't think you want

57:22

it. It's too much trouble. And he kept going,

57:24

but I do. But give it to

57:26

me. And I was like, no, I don't think

57:28

you understand what you're asking for. Like my daddy

57:31

lives in a convenience store. My mom

57:33

is going to take marriage. It's a fucking shit

57:35

show at my house. And he goes, I want it.

57:37

No, I don't think you want it. Let me just

57:39

tell you. And he just kept going, no, I do.

57:41

I do. I do. And I

57:43

never really thought that would happen for me.

57:45

All the money and all that stuff doesn't

57:47

mean as much to me. This

57:50

does because I never had an example

57:52

of this. And I really didn't think

57:54

that it was possible. Money doesn't make

57:56

I think people have the biggest misconception

57:59

about money. appreciated absolutely

58:01

but I love

58:03

like we just took a trip to Utah just

58:05

him and I a couple weeks ago and it

58:07

meant the most to me because it was the

58:09

first time neither one of us had our teams

58:11

with each other we had to pull our own

58:13

luggage we had to like camp out in this

58:15

motel sick but it was like it was like

58:20

the old bunny and Ellie really good for

58:23

us yeah and it

58:25

was like I love that you know

58:27

like before all this fucking shit you know

58:29

you know what the quote I live by is in the

58:31

end is that money doesn't create character it reveals it you

58:34

are right about that you know what I mean so it's

58:36

like I think that just yeah but you

58:39

are right about that fucking awesome to

58:41

have for sure oh we're not complaining but

58:45

we're saying it's not like well

58:47

what it gives you is

58:49

relief right security yeah that's the

58:51

biggest thing security is like because I

58:53

think all of us at this this

58:56

and this little double date share this one thing for

58:58

sure none of us

59:00

grew up seeing security land

59:05

was it was 20 big block Chevy

59:08

Motors chicken

59:10

house that burn and when it burned down he

59:12

called me he said I lost my retirement what

59:14

are you talking about he said I had

59:16

20 big block motors that was my retirement

59:19

yeah that's how I've had no savings account

59:21

savings was 20 big block Chevy Motors

59:24

oh and I just didn't you know

59:26

that's a very different way of thinking

59:28

about yeah absolutely I don't even think

59:31

my dad has a retirement plan I

59:33

think I'm his retirement plan at this

59:38

point yeah

59:41

my goodness it looks so good it's

59:44

really starting to look good I can't

59:46

believe it all came together I don't know what's going to

59:48

come together yet I can't wait it's probably gonna be me

59:57

most important part of it is the conversation

59:59

yeah The

1:00:01

food secondary everybody. The cooking show

1:00:04

is amazing. Look

1:00:06

at you adjacent. Cooking

1:00:09

show is a question mark at the end of it.

1:00:12

Hold on. Oh

1:00:15

my gosh, that's a lot of rabbit. I know, I

1:00:17

know, I know. You made a

1:00:19

little shot. You can make a little

1:00:21

sparse over here. Guys, you can just

1:00:23

try it. Okay. You

1:00:26

don't have to eat the whole fucking thing.

1:00:29

I'm going straight for the vodka sauce.

1:00:35

Is it good? It's

1:00:43

really fucking good. Is

1:00:45

it good? No, the vodka

1:00:47

sauce is fire. It's fucking fire. It doesn't really

1:00:49

go. You

1:00:53

know, the best thing about a sauce is it

1:00:55

covers up any malfunction. That's fucking great. All

1:00:58

right. I'm going in for a

1:01:00

scallop. A scallop. Oh wow. Scallops

1:01:04

are fucking undeniable. Wow.

1:01:08

That's pretty good. That's

1:01:10

good baby. It's very fresh.

1:01:14

And the pasta is a tabot al dente. I'll be the

1:01:16

first to go into the rabbit. Or

1:01:20

dare I say hair. And they say this is in the SM. This

1:01:23

is one of the best things to have on pasta. Is

1:01:25

hair. How

1:01:27

is it? There's. You happy?

1:01:30

Not bad. It's

1:01:32

got a stew feel to it. Where would thank

1:01:34

you for? It's really good.

1:01:36

I gotta be honest with you, the vodka

1:01:38

sauce is my favorite. Same. Yeah.

1:01:44

The vodka sauce really delivers. It's really good. Yeah.

1:01:47

The vodka sauce really delivers. Well

1:01:54

I like the pasta noodles. You only need one. Those

1:01:58

are so thick. They're

1:02:00

maybe gonna cook a little longer a

1:02:03

little bit longer I

1:02:10

Gotta be honest with you. I wish I had just done one

1:02:12

with the scallops in the vodka

1:02:14

sauce. Mm-hmm. Scallops are yummy Sauce

1:02:20

came out so good What

1:02:24

what Hey

1:02:37

Here's the thing as I made this because I

1:02:39

wanted you guys to know that medium dish are

1:02:41

pretty good Like I don't

1:02:44

be one big dick, but when it comes to pasta

1:02:48

too big can be You're

1:02:50

so funny Really

1:02:53

reaching I cut them thin but they even come

1:02:55

bigger No

1:03:00

clothes. I'm gonna help make this pasta

1:03:02

really They

1:03:08

just need a little more time, yeah Baby

1:03:15

was hungry. Yeah, I was like a star. It's

1:03:17

fire The vodka sauce

1:03:19

is delicious. I will say you fucking

1:03:21

fast noodles You

1:03:25

know the size of my thumb Bert Only

1:03:28

like three strands in your full But

1:03:31

listen for what it's worth while I

1:03:33

was watching it happen. There was multiple

1:03:35

times. It looked like a train wreck The

1:03:40

fact that it turned out this fire is

1:03:43

fucking crazy When

1:03:52

you start a haircut my pasta I was like,

1:03:54

oh we're getting dangerous That

1:04:00

was your sales pitch. By

1:04:03

the way, this is how

1:04:05

they made it back. I was leaning. Oh my God. I

1:04:08

would have fucking throw up. This is, I've

1:04:14

made it a lot,

1:04:16

but this, I mean this, this is the

1:04:18

best episode of something. I

1:04:22

have not spoken a lot and this

1:04:24

has been the best conversation I've ever

1:04:26

had. I absolutely adore you too. I

1:04:28

mean that for the bottom of my

1:04:30

heart. You are. I adore you

1:04:32

guys. You meet a lot of people in this

1:04:34

business and you know this as I do. You

1:04:37

meet a lot of people in this business that are, that

1:04:39

are awesome friends, but you wonder if

1:04:41

you'll know them forever. I have

1:04:43

to say this. I

1:04:46

have a hard time making friends. I do. I

1:04:48

just do. I, I'm meaning like letting

1:04:50

people in. Brother,

1:04:52

I love you with all my heart. I love you,

1:04:54

bro. I love you so much. Thank you. I

1:04:57

love everything you do. More importantly,

1:05:00

I love who you are. I love you. There's

1:05:02

a reason I cry when you gave that speech with Leanne

1:05:04

in bed and, and, and it's everything

1:05:06

about you. Thank you, Bert. I'm

1:05:08

so happy for you to accept what the fuck

1:05:10

you laughed at, asshole. What the fuck you laughing

1:05:13

about? That's

1:05:15

Leanne. Thank you.

1:05:17

That's so confusing, mom. That's so confusing. Leanne's

1:05:19

like, what? Where was I? I

1:05:21

didn't kill her. I wouldn't kill her. That was Leanne's

1:05:23

Let's Make Out. That's the perfect

1:05:25

way to end it. Guys, I love you to death. Thank you everyone

1:05:27

for being here with Leanne. I love you. Funny. Thank

1:05:30

you, brother. I love you, brother. Thank you

1:05:32

for having us. Thank you. I love the

1:05:34

fuck out of y'all. I was saying it too, and I

1:05:37

mean it when I tell Bert this. He's

1:05:41

got to swallow that big ass noodle. That's

1:05:44

a fucking noodle, son. That noodle was caught right

1:05:46

there. I'm so sorry. I'm

1:05:48

so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

1:05:51

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. That

1:05:53

noodle was caught right there. I was like, y'all might be

1:05:55

finna do it right here. Everybody. Hit

1:05:57

that vodka shot some more time though. That's all. Right.

1:06:00

all I wanted to hear that.