0:00

you get vaccinated? Was

0:02

this bad? I was just I just you did not. I'm

0:04

guessing. Right? What? Me? Did

0:06

you get started? You eat steeper than I did.

0:09

Did I let a big pharma,

0:11

inject some bullshit

0:15

on viral babies. Something

0:20

is burning. Something is burning.

0:23

Free improv. That's the short answer. podcast,

0:26

you haven't got four right now. And you don't you

0:28

have more than four? Yeah. Yeah. I had seven.

0:30

Yeah. I I think the whole thing is

0:32

is, like, the more you have, the more the better the

0:34

more people feel like they're getting less

0:36

of you. There I think people like

0:38

hearing the same story over and over again, ladies and gentlemen,

0:40

brand new episode of something's burning. My

0:42

friends, Eddie Brown, Sam Tripoli.

0:46

Tin foil hat podcast, gentlemen.

0:48

Do you remember where we met? Yeah. I do.

0:50

I want I'll I'll tell you one thing about that

0:52

today. I remember my version. Well, I remember the

0:54

first time I saw you perform was in the main

0:56

room where Gary Goldman was performing.

0:59

You did a great bit about taking a giant

1:01

shit -- Mhmm. -- and how you have to wipe in your

1:03

legs. And I'm like, oh, yeah. Yeah.

1:05

This shit about a good You ever take it's so big.

1:07

You ever everything you said, so big. You have to wipe your legs.

1:10

Yeah. I remember, you know, I shit over there.

1:12

What the fuck? And was really in this moment

1:14

in my life where I was, like, I didn't wanna become my

1:16

father. because I was I

1:18

didn't wanna fight with everybody. My dad

1:20

never got along with everybody. Yeah. And I didn't

1:22

wanna fight with everybody. So I'm like, I gotta

1:25

you know what, man? I can't be like a little

1:27

wolf. Right? So it's like it's like I remember

1:29

there was this time where every week a

1:31

new gunslinger would come into LA.

1:33

And you're like, this motherfucker so fast and you

1:35

had to make a decision. You're either gonna be like,

1:37

high noon with this dude or you're gonna

1:39

run-in a posse. Right? So I'm like, I'm

1:41

gonna be cool to this dude. I'm gonna like

1:44

this. This is this

1:47

is a

1:47

fucking huge lesson in

1:49

my life that he's about to tell. This odd because

1:51

I was the same way. I was like fuck everyone.

1:53

Fuck the world. You're lone wolf. They're

1:56

good at comedy. That's a threat on me. And that was

1:58

the New York mentality. Yeah. Yeah.

1:59

Yeah. It used to be bogg comedy

2:02

used to be boxing. In like the nineties, it

2:04

was like there could we were all highlanders, and

2:06

there could be only one. Right? Yeah. Grab battles.

2:08

Yeah. One hundred -- Oh, yeah. -- that was that

2:11

before podcasting came, then everybody

2:13

started working again. Then we did the

2:17

the eddie cabs. especially improves.

2:19

What is this? Brian Holson was the

2:21

headliner. Yeah. And it was me

2:23

you, Steve, and we crushed and you

2:25

were so nice. And, wait, you came up to me

2:27

you came up to me that night. I did not know him

2:29

and he goes he comes up and he's

2:31

like,

2:32

hey, you doing your doing

2:34

your touching the cops face bit. And I

2:36

was like, uh-huh. And he was like, are you

2:38

doing that? And I was like, I yeah. Probably, he was just

2:40

a fucking great bit. No. I didn't know him.

2:42

And I

2:42

was like, oh, he's fucking with me. He's trying to fucking

2:44

me. I was like, cool.

2:48

Yeah. And I was like, I was and you're like, then

2:50

you brought, I think, Steve over and you're like, hey. you

2:52

heard this bit? It's a fucking great bit? You're doing

2:54

it tonight? Do y'all grab me when he's doing it? It's fucking

2:56

awesome. And I go, you being serious? And you're

2:58

like, yeah. You're like, my name is Sam. And I was like, I'm

3:01

burnt out. And I was like, I was like, what the fuck's

3:03

happening here? He's fucking with me. And then I

3:05

went up. I did it. I murdered. Sam didn't

3:07

went up. And I remember going, I'm gonna

3:09

watch this guy. I sat on the top, there's

3:11

a two story thing Frank Calleto

3:13

hosted, and I and Sam did,

3:15

you ever go to the YMC and play basketball with

3:17

the brothers and just get lit up? and then the chick

3:19

comes out. You're like, now it's my turn. She

3:21

goes up for a limb. You're like, dude,

3:24

ring her bell. It

3:26

was that great. Dude, it was like, And

3:28

I'm going so he's funny as fuck, and

3:30

he was nice to me. That's odd.

3:33

And then Ari Shafir was the next person

3:35

that kind of fucked me up. because he walked up. He

3:37

goes, my name's Ari. I think you're very funny. And I

3:39

went,

3:39

okay. What the fuck did they serve over the store?

3:42

because my thing was if you're famous, you wanna

3:44

be friends and you're trying to fuck you're if you're dude.

3:46

Yeah. I I mean, Eddie Gould, perfect example.

3:48

Yeah. Left me his number in my green room

3:51

at Mattelia. Please call me. Eddie

3:53

nice, ma'am. You're very very funny. You're very

3:56

funny when you deal with us. Yeah. You did the

3:58

past noise live. Oh, okay.

4:00

You know what? add it back. Yeah. No. Nope.

4:02

Keep it all in mind. Keep he goes

4:04

he goes he's the Elliot Goulden

4:06

I met. We were I was

4:09

I eddie, we're doing a table reading. I go, what the

4:11

flavor is juicy fruit? And

4:13

he goes, and I said, I was just

4:15

talking to him. I go, Like, pretty interesting. Like,

4:18

it's a unique flavor. I thought one fruit

4:20

is it. He goes,

4:21

give

4:23

me a piece of that. They put it in to go getting a

4:25

hint of a lot of things because

4:27

it's crazy so that I call so I

4:29

call juicy food. I call the number on the pizza

4:31

go. I eddie, That's her number. I

4:33

was a number on the government. This got me

4:36

customer service self help. I said, you know,

4:38

juicy fruit well, flavors, and she goes. pineapple,

4:40

banana, apple, lemon,

4:42

and something else. And I went, okay. Cool. So

4:44

that later in the day, I go up to Elliot, go and

4:46

I go. It's pineapple diamond. And

4:48

he goes, hey, how do you have these

4:50

flavors? And I eddie, I called them. He goes, you

4:52

called them, and I said, yeah. So I'm curious to

4:54

see what it was. And he goes, and he left

4:56

his phone number my thing and he goes,

4:58

I find you to be a very interesting young

5:00

man. We should be friends. Let's go to lunch dinner

5:02

one night and I was like, he wants to fuck me.

5:04

Like, I was like, no. There's no way anyone wants to

5:06

be my friend. So I was I was dodging

5:09

him. But that's so funny. So

5:11

he he

5:12

probably didn't watch it. So were you

5:14

ever you Bakassana?

5:17

Boom. Boom. So for

5:19

you is either it was he either

5:21

war or gay sex. That's

5:23

the two way. So he wasn't really he wasn't

5:25

really hitting on you then. Right? You just thought he was.

5:27

Well, I ended up going to dinner with him. And

5:29

and the whole time, I'm like, in the studio trying

5:31

to kiss me at. Yeah. And then we get

5:33

out to his car. Eddie like, well, it was a great dinner.

5:35

I'll talk to you later, and I was like, nothing.

5:37

You wanna come in here? I was like, I was

5:39

like, okay. Elliott

5:44

Goulding. And then and then, randomly, I have kids. I don't

5:46

know. Stop acting nice doing comedy.

5:48

I'm host and featuring with my wife, two

5:50

kids and my my father-in-law.

5:53

We're at Baha Fresh overall

5:55

wheelchair. Love it. Right by the Screen skilled, and

5:57

we're wanting to do a part of that later.

5:59

BERT

5:59

you sir And

6:01

I turn around, it's Eddie Gould. And I go,

6:03

hey, Elliott. My favorite bloggers,

6:05

you know, Eddie. It's like the weirdest

6:07

celebrity to know. He

6:10

was just fucking awful. What

6:13

is what's his biggest movie? Or

6:15

Josh? Okay. So here's in the

6:17

movie, the movie, badge. Not the

6:19

show. Not the TV show. We just

6:21

The movie match was so good. They made a

6:23

fucking TV show out of it. So

6:25

it was a it was a Oceans Eleven

6:27

first? Yeah. It was a movie

6:30

first, and then And then

6:32

and then

6:33

a TV show.

6:35

I'm so excited for a cocktail

6:37

right now. You have no fucking idea. What

6:39

is your go to drink?

6:40

Vadic soda. Crust. Crust.

6:43

Has the least amount of calories? I've

6:45

been like I'm sort of trying to watch

6:47

my figure, you know. You said you

6:49

said I love your road appearance by the way. It was kinda cool.

6:51

I haven't heard you guys talking a long time. Thank you.

6:53

It was really interesting. If someone asked

6:55

me a a couple months ago, How

6:57

many times have you done Joe Show?

6:59

I swear to God, I would say.

7:03

Including bike companions, I would

7:05

say,

7:06

Fifteen twenty? I I would say

7:08

about fifteen twenty, for

7:09

me too. I said I was way fucking off.

7:12

Dude, eighty one fucking times.

7:14

Yeah. Eighty 1II could not

7:16

believe I had to go up my it's on I

7:18

don't know. I still it's it's hard

7:20

for me to believe that because it doesn't seem like doesn't

7:22

see it up because you know what the fight companions

7:25

at its height, that

7:27

I've looked driving down the

7:29

101 going to the

7:31

I've looked I'm like, first, there's gonna be a

7:33

UFC. Badass UFC. We're gonna that's

7:35

guaranteed entertainment. Yeah. But then

7:37

we're on a show, and we're talking shit, and counts,

7:39

talking shit. Calvin's fucking one of the most

7:41

hysterical guys. No. That's never a genius.

7:44

Check out his special It's hilarious. a new special

7:46

called Managers. I

7:48

produce Yeah. That's right. You told me

7:50

about that. By the way, today, just for your

7:52

roots, your Armenian roots, we're making

7:55

Turkish form Bans.

7:58

them on That's my

8:00

gel. There's no onions in that. Right?

8:02

No. No. No. You want onions? No. Okay.

8:04

No onions. No onions. You want rice?

8:06

You want rice? rice is good. Okay. Good.

8:09

Sweet. Go go ahead. Compute your same pot Campite

8:11

commandium. So

8:14

Man, I've done so eddie, and and

8:17

I've talked so much shit.

8:19

So much shit. cat. Like, so much

8:21

new world order shit. that I

8:23

would I would talk so much shit that I would like, there

8:25

would there'd be sometimes I'd leave the show.

8:28

You know what I'm like I'm like looking outside kids.

8:30

helicopters are fucking following me. You

8:32

know what I mean? And then sometimes I would go do

8:34

a show, and I go in the bathroom, and I

8:36

look myself in the mirror and fucking psych myself

8:38

out. because, no, fuck. No, it's Percy. There you

8:40

go on fire. You're gonna fucking a

8:42

family. You know, there's stick to pussy

8:44

and UFC. That's it. I would like

8:46

psych myself up. And I go out there in my

8:48

YouTube, I don't No conspiracy theories. I

8:50

would try to get many shows and no

8:52

conspiracy data. But then, you

8:54

know, a shop or a calendar.

8:56

Job usually, you know, tries to drag it out

8:58

of me. Get it after, you know, a

9:00

couple drinks. Yeah. We

9:02

once the week kicks in, then

9:05

you're gone. Yeah. I

9:07

love I love your con I love hearing

9:09

conspiracy theories. And I love when and

9:11

I love you believe them. Like, I love that

9:13

that like, I love that. That's why not a conspiracy

9:16

theory. After the last three years

9:18

See, you know, I'm I'm who they

9:20

sell it to? On the on the sucker,

9:22

they got vaccinated a day. They got

9:25

the early vaccine. Yeah.

9:26

I'm the guy that like, to this day, I

9:28

don't know. I really don't

9:30

know. I honestly don't

9:32

know if the vaccines

9:35

if the if the vaccines weren't or if

9:37

they helped or I don't know any of that shit.

9:39

Why? Yeah. What? Where

9:40

are you from? Florida.

9:43

Like, what year are you from?

9:45

Yeah. Why did you tell me? Dude, all

9:47

this stuff is coming out right now

9:49

about all the craziness that. It

9:51

was basically awful. And that's fine.

9:53

It just It's it's

9:55

crazy

9:56

times, dude. And all I gotta

9:58

say is I tried to

9:59

tell you. Alright. But

10:00

so wait. Sweet. Did you get vaccinated?

10:03

Was this bad? It was just

10:05

it was just you did not. I'm guessing.

10:07

Right? I want me eat Because I

10:09

can eat steeper than I did did I

10:11

let a big pharma inject

10:14

some

10:14

Bulldog,

10:18

viral, baby.

10:19

Did I

10:21

let big pharma inject some found

10:23

out on fucking gene therapy?

10:26

Did I bro?

10:28

Did you read the dumps,

10:30

bro? No, I didn't.

10:32

That's the whole thing. Nobody. It's like, where do you You

10:34

don't know about all the heart attacks going on?

10:36

No. Okay. I

10:38

don't know. None of that.

10:41

Tell them

10:41

don't know what. Like, people are

10:43

dying more than normal, like, every day,

10:45

like, our IP, like a little

10:47

bit. No. I don't. Can I tell you the

10:49

one thing is that So we

10:51

we Are you gonna tell us what you're cooking?

10:53

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Charitable and chicken. Like, I know I

10:55

know but Oh, no. No. So

10:58

it makes sense about yeah. This isn't about the cooking.

11:00

It's about knowing about the vaccines. Chris,

11:03

this cooking shows a conduit to people that are

11:05

hungry and getting them to knock it back

11:07

to them. Guys, monkeypox isn't

11:09

real. Bucking this one. Dude, listen

11:11

to listen to this dude. Listen

11:13

to this dude on monkeypox, bro.

11:15

This guy breaks it,

11:17

lifts it.

11:18

So so I have

11:20

a joke about, like, the vaccine,

11:23

about the mass people and all

11:25

that shit. Did you, like, wear a mask? Did you kill,

11:27

like Oh, like, you'd love to do it. I did not have

11:29

felt I felt like it's the same thing

11:31

that

11:31

listen. It's

11:33

the it was the same thing as taking your shoes off

11:35

the airplane. It I don't think it fucking

11:38

Gotcha. All of a sudden all of a sudden we're all on fucking

11:40

planes to yesterday. Yeah. The other day. and the

11:42

fucking virus is still around. They're still out there. Is it?

11:44

I don't know. Is it?

11:46

Is it? I don't know. Listen. Listen. The you

11:48

know what

11:48

the opposite of social distancing

11:51

is? Do you know what that is? Correct.

11:52

No. Fujitsu?

11:55

Fujitsu is the opposite. Oh, shit. I

11:57

mean, every night, every

11:59

night

11:59

were were drenched

12:02

and sweat trying

12:03

to squeeze each other's

12:05

hard Like, you're putting everything

12:07

you you you go you do strength in the

12:09

conditioning so that you can get so you could

12:11

squeeze harder. So you could smash hard. So you

12:13

could smash someone. That's the game. How

12:15

can I slash right through you

12:17

in crush it. Yeah. We do that

12:18

every goddamn night. Sweaty. Every

12:21

eight minutes, we rotate in a

12:23

new random dude. You smash

12:25

sweat. spit rush on.

12:27

That's the opposite with social distancing. You

12:29

know how

12:29

many people died in the hundred and fifty schools I

12:32

got? Zero.

12:34

Zero. When

12:35

I asked doctor Peter McCullough that and he's like, you

12:37

know, he's doing great work with,

12:40

you know, making everyone

12:42

aware of the dangers of the job.

12:44

He's he's doing wonderful work. But

12:47

he said, I go, I

12:49

I think it's just the flu. I think they

12:51

just hijack the flu. I think it's a scam.

12:53

This is too much bay inside baseball. No. I don't

12:55

know. This is what I love. So so so

12:57

I do feel like an idiot. I do feel

12:59

like I'm a sheep. do feel like that.

13:01

I feel like I whatever they told me, when

13:04

I was a kid, I believed I

13:06

believed look, I believed in the

13:08

church. I still I still wear the cross. I have

13:10

a hard dog. I'm letting go of the

13:12

Lord dog. I have a hard time letting go of

13:14

anything. So, like, if you tell me something

13:16

is real, I believed that that straight

13:18

white dudes in high school could get AIDS. You

13:20

can't believe that. I believe that. I work on this.

13:22

They got everyone in all the way.

13:25

everyone to believe that you

13:27

can die from fucking

13:29

someone in the ass. Yeah.

13:31

Look at everybody everybody eddie out.

13:33

That's funny. You don't believe that right now. They believe

13:35

it. you can get it from

13:37

fucking. Yeah. That is what they don't believe that.

13:39

People still believe that to that. Yeah. They get

13:41

you to believe it's a gay disease

13:43

Right? You know? And this gets you to get you to believe

13:46

it. Because once you wait, you wait, it's like

13:48

a prank show. The the the

13:50

victim is never the never

13:52

involved at first. So the victim goes, it's gotta be a

13:54

real house. Nothing to do with me. Yeah. Really,

13:56

all eyes are on me. They're setting me

13:58

up. So if they do with monkey pox, they do

13:59

with AIDS, Think about this. It was about that's

14:02

that's fucking genius. The victim

14:04

is

14:04

watching the prank. Yeah. Yeah. I

14:06

think it's not No. No. So they believe real.

14:08

They believe monkeypox is real. They

14:11

believe it's real because it's just a gay thing. How

14:13

about gay thing? You know, like, okay. know don't

14:15

have a guy. I'm angry. De nematocysts.

14:17

Guess what? You can get it from

14:19

chick's assholes too. Now it's

14:21

real. Now it's real, but now it's

14:23

saved it. You already believed it. You already believed it. You

14:25

already believed it. the chicks

14:27

now, then you believed it. If they would've just came out and

14:29

said monkey fox gonna get everybody, it

14:31

wouldn't be that as an impactful. You

14:33

understand? They gotta get you to believe in it because

14:35

you're not even What are the examples? have little

14:37

girls and girls and girls and half.

14:39

Well, You guys don't know the per

14:41

capita. Per capita. There's way

14:44

like a hundred times more girls

14:46

get fucked in the ass than guys get fucked in the

14:48

ass. There ain't that many gay dudes. Alright.

14:51

You're right. You know what I mean? Yeah.

14:53

Per capita. Per capita. Per capita. Per capita. Per capita. Per

14:55

capita. Per capita. Per

14:58

capita.

14:59

Per capita. You're talking about that. They're getting

15:01

into the ass a lot. I would say,

15:03

I would say, I would say, okay, a

15:05

hundred percent of gay dudes get it in

15:07

the ass. I will I don't know about that. Right?

15:09

And that's that's ten percent of the population.

15:12

Yeah. But then I would say thirty

15:14

seven percent of girls like it in the

15:16

ass. No. But

15:18

thirty seven percent. There's

15:20

two billion. There's thirty. Two

15:22

billion. There's a lot of free money.

15:24

Oh, oh, your

15:26

man's

15:26

ass Don't fucking put fucking pimples on

15:29

you deep? Not a girl's ass. Oh,

15:31

no. Not a girl's ass. It

15:33

doesn't make any sense. Science. Come

15:36

on. Listen guys ask. Yeah. The

15:38

girls ask

15:38

don't ask. Nothing. It's

15:41

the same bacteria. It's the same omegas.

15:43

It's the same pathogens. It's the

15:45

same fucking

15:47

fifteen

15:47

year old fucking tracks.

15:50

It's on the

15:53

side of it's on the side of the right It's

15:55

like my life. I've been using third grade

15:57

now. I'm just like, I'm not

15:59

gonna get

15:59

floss. They know they do

16:02

the conspiracy theory pathogen is called,

16:04

dude. You guys it out. They're gonna get flustered

16:06

to the guy named Braeba. White

16:08

open. Oh. So there's passengers

16:10

hanging on to that rectum dot

16:12

since the fucking

16:14

elementary. You don't have to get into that. This should

16:16

have been a scam. Yeah. I don't know. You don't remember that just

16:18

the dog. just

16:20

no just no dog. I got kicked

16:22

off Instagram for diarrhea joke.

16:24

So, you know, you got kicked off for good?

16:26

Yeah. I'm not well, yeah, it's gone. It's been

16:28

tripling gone second time. First time

16:30

was for Hillary Clinton's Campbell tell. That

16:32

was the first time they took me down. And the second

16:34

one was because they said Kim

16:36

Kardashian is a prostitute with explosive

16:39

diarrhea. according to my black sources,

16:41

and they can't Move your black sources to

16:43

get Ray j and Kanye

16:45

West. Those are both And Kansas o. Yeah.

16:47

Though that's the one right you. And

16:52

the cat was always was

16:54

hilarious. That's what they

16:56

said. I was just quoting them. There's

16:58

no and they said they got you off. They kicked me

17:00

off. You still off? No. I'm I'm a visible

17:02

man dog. A reason, isn't this Is there a way to

17:04

get you shipped out? Well, I paid them do thirty five

17:06

hundred dollars to do it again. Get me back

17:08

and I was back and I was playing really nice.

17:11

So they they gave me two dings and they

17:13

got they gave me three dings this

17:15

time. First thing was for I

17:17

posted this video of these two

17:19

kids fighting in high school and they're fighting in a

17:21

bathroom and they just bang

17:24

through this that one of those

17:26

stalls and the dudes taking a shit

17:28

and they're fighting each other while he's

17:30

trying to dig a dump which is my

17:32

number one fear, my my life. He's having a fight while I have

17:34

to take a shit. Yeah. You ever done that? We're like,

17:36

so just boss through. Your pants are down now.

17:38

You gotta defend yourself. That's never happened. But

17:41

does that scary. Oh my god.

17:43

Like, I'm making rice

17:45

also. Okay. I said thank you.

17:47

I remember the

17:47

first time I got Kamikoto knives.

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I was going I remember I was I just bought

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came in this. I can't

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believe this is right here. It's

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18:02

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18:04

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18:06

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you what. I'll tell you what. So

20:06

here's my biggest regret. Joe, Joey

20:08

Diaz calls me out and he's like, dog, we're

20:10

digging. Ninja two. Penn planet. Is that what

20:12

you're like? Me and you. And I was like, cool. And

20:14

I drove out Joey was like, I can't make

20:16

it tonight. You go out there, talk to any bravo. What

20:19

did I scare you? and I walked went out and I sat

20:21

there and this is exactly what

20:23

happened. You said you said, yeah, we'll get you in we'll

20:25

figure it out. We'll get you

20:27

in And I remember you were you were a tad bit

20:29

distracted, and I and I was looking

20:31

at you, and I go, is there something wrong with

20:33

your eye? Can you go, no. And

20:35

I said, I

20:36

think something's up with your eye. And you went, oh, yeah. I have a black eye.

20:38

And I went, how do you have a black eye?

20:40

And you go, I don't know. And I said, what do you

20:42

mean? You are probably

20:43

probably from rolling, I guess.

20:45

know it. Does happen You're like, yeah.

20:47

I

20:47

went, well, I don't

20:48

think I can do

20:49

this. And you're and you're like, why not nigga?

20:52

because I'm on camera. I believe we I

20:54

can't I'm still on camera. No. No.

20:56

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

21:02

not the cure. Right? You're not a lovely cure,

21:04

depression, man. Oh.

21:07

Poison? Dude, yes. Where's the

21:09

makeup? Yep. oh

21:15

yeah What?

21:17

You I didn't love to even You like prince? Love prince.

21:19

Where's the makeup? Goddamn. We like

21:22

RuPaul. I love RuPaul.

21:24

Where's the makeup? Yeah. You

21:26

like competitive females women? Where's the

21:29

makeup? Like the drag queen

21:31

shows that they're doing for little kids?

21:34

Where's the

21:34

like that. Wait. Wait. Wait.

21:37

Wait. How

21:39

long would it how long would it take me to get

21:41

to what's a what's a place where Take

21:43

it to Sephora. Sephora's right down the

21:45

the ventura. I'm a little king, and it's gonna take you

21:47

fifteen minutes now. You realize you realize Joe Roman

21:50

would have a fucking connection I started

21:52

doingdigits who got in shape. He'd be

21:53

like, he'd be he'd

21:54

be like, no fuck. He'd block you on

21:57

Instagram. No. He would. A

21:59

hundred percent. If you

21:59

started doing jiu jitsu and you got in great shape, you got

22:02

Jack -- Yeah. -- he would block.

22:04

A hundred percent. Why?

22:07

He what? He would. I believe He would. I'm just bringing

22:09

on now. How can he

22:11

He goes. He goes, the reason

22:13

we can't have competitions in October, October

22:15

is because of Bert. And Tom was like, what do

22:17

you mean? Because, well, you and

22:18

Ori, I can talk shit to him, but I hear him

22:21

talking shit. I wanna murder him. I wanna put him in the

22:23

fucking ground. And I

22:25

was like, I made a I made a couple of unwise decisions

22:27

with him at at key moments

22:28

in my

22:29

life. Number one was going, looking him in the eyes,

22:31

going, I didn't run marathon with no training at all. He was like, you

22:33

can't. And I was like, I can't. And he was like, no,

22:35

you can't. I was like, I

22:37

think it was

22:37

the same day that I told him I could do a split, and

22:39

he goes, like, you said

22:41

you could run a marathon when no training at

22:43

all. Why did you say that? Okay.

22:46

You can't. I

22:49

did. I

22:50

did. I ran the LA marathon with no You

22:53

didn't you didn't try at all. Did

22:55

you walk it? No. jog the whole

22:57

time.

22:57

You are a fucking swimmer. You are.

22:59

You got that. You are. You got that. You got that? You got that. that.

23:02

You're right. Dude, no. Dude, that

23:04

that win neck trailer track. That's

23:06

impressive track. I've never heard of such Like

23:08

garbage. Like that. I brought that up to Joe,

23:10

and he was like, it's impossible. It's impossible. then

23:12

I did it. And You're the only one

23:14

that could do it in the yes, man.

23:16

Humana. You know the right one? You're the only one. You're the

23:18

only one. Oh, I'm running a marathon

23:20

with no train. Yeah. That's very unique.

23:22

That's a that's a long memory. That's an

23:24

extended power walk. No. No power

23:26

walk, John. No power walk. No power walk. How

23:28

long was it? One about five over the

23:30

thirty three What? Five hour You

23:32

were five hour straight. No train.

23:34

No no train. No. You have. Crystal

23:36

left? Nothing. Nothing. Coke? Nothing.

23:38

My kept putting some stories. So I'd

23:40

be like, what's up everybody in about sixteen?

23:42

So hold on. You were

23:44

running for five hours

23:46

while talking. Yep.

23:48

Yep.

23:48

my my pace was, I think, thirteen

23:51

minutes, thirteen, fourteen minutes a

23:53

mile. You saw it super here. Yeah.

23:55

Just I mean, Paul Bunge, all I

23:57

did was say, one as a matter of fact,

23:59

Hayes' tray ho

23:59

trained for it, and I

24:01

beat him by, like, fucking forty five

24:03

minutes. I I

24:04

just was I just Okay. When

24:06

you say you didn't train for it? I I

24:08

the same trainings. Does that mean does that mean you

24:10

didn't you weren't doing anything

24:13

athletic wise No. No. I always do shit athletic.

24:15

No one believes me, but I always say you did track.

24:17

No. No. I always train. Always a little

24:19

bit later. Always. rather

24:22

than track. I'm always We always

24:24

track. We always track. You did track. I always I

24:26

always track. Yeah. Then you did track.

24:27

Did

24:28

you say you did around without

24:30

training? Now you're saying when you're on the same marathon, there's a there's

24:32

a way to train for marathon. Yeah. We

24:34

didn't specifically train I didn't train for one.

24:36

I just I just always sitting out. Okay.

24:38

So it makes okay. The reason why Joe

24:40

flipped out was because you

24:42

made it sound like us, like you didn't

24:45

like you were sitting on your

24:47

Oh, watch and fuck them. Well, I think that's I think

24:49

that's part of my the perception of these people.

24:51

You gotta make that clear. They go they

24:53

go They go, oh, he just fucking does

24:55

nothing. Yeah. But, dude, you got smooth

24:57

fat, bro. Yeah. smooth fat. You got

24:59

I'm jealous of you. because

25:02

I got bad angles. I got where these certain

25:04

kind of shirts things because they

25:06

hide my angle. I got bad angles. Well,

25:08

I've always got fashion. You got smooth

25:11

fat. I always I love

25:13

getting on a treadmill watching

25:15

TV at the end of that with a box of wine. It's one of

25:17

my favorite things. A box of wine, because I'm not

25:19

really a whole ball. In

25:20

a box of one. No. It's box of one. Just if you don't lots of one.

25:22

Very easy to What eddie you think a number

25:25

is? What is box of In

25:27

box of one? is

25:29

this box it wasn't managing the score. I

25:31

don't know what I mean. I

25:31

didn't I didn't Why in the

25:34

cardboard box? Yeah. It is

25:36

extremely easy to

25:38

to manage. because you take your wine,

25:40

you got it on the treadmill sitting up there,

25:42

you got your glass, there's a little stick it

25:44

so you just and then you and

25:46

then every now and then feet on

25:47

side, giggo. Cafe ID is so fucking good.

25:50

Tug. Put it back up. Little

25:52

soft jog. Just break a sweat. Just

25:54

break a sweat. If you walk him to three point seven on the

25:56

treadmill with a box of wine, for

25:58

two hours. You'd be shocked. You gotta bend

26:00

like a baby. And so I

26:01

do that all the time. So

26:03

you did track. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

26:05

I didn't I wasn't, like, I wasn't, like It didn't, like It

26:08

wasn't, like, someone who doesn't

26:10

lift weights or I always I've lifted

26:12

weights. I've always tried to

26:14

maintain some sort of

26:16

fitness. But I don't think people believe it. I think

26:18

they're like, he's

26:18

lying. Look at him. Yeah. But you're

26:20

you're you're training that your normal

26:23

training will

26:25

will translate in jogging -- Yeah. For

26:27

sure. -- I think and if I think it's a mindset where

26:29

you just say to yourself, I

26:31

know that for

26:33

the next six hours, this is where

26:35

I am. This is my reality. And all

26:37

I gotta

26:37

do is one foot from the

26:40

other foot and just

26:40

shuffle them until I get to the

26:42

ocean. And I just was like,

26:43

that's the house and how how many miles?

26:47

Twenty

26:47

six. Damn. And when I got to the store,

26:49

the store was thirteen miles exactly halfway

26:52

there. And I thought

26:54

It would've my name up on the thing. Congrats. Right?

26:56

Would've given me a little inspiration? You didn't do

26:58

any EPL? No. I would no.

27:00

Right now, we're going through that name, my wife. The

27:03

CPL. as

27:04

lead's armstrong. Yeah. We mean you're

27:06

going

27:07

through well, Lillian and I are talking about getting

27:09

on, like, peptides and steroids and

27:11

everything because it just

27:13

not to get you guys off

27:15

on a tangent, but

27:18

the the way we both had

27:20

COVID. I've had COVID, I think, four or five times now. That's

27:23

it. Yeah. And so Would you get to

27:25

boost overall? Of course, I did

27:27

say. Okay. So you got full blown eggs

27:29

going. Yeah. And so the

27:31

way Wait.

27:31

Wait. Wait. How many shots eddie? Yeah. How many shots

27:33

have you gone?

27:36

No. Johnson. Johnson. Johnson. Johnson. I

27:38

don't know where you got the junk. You didn't dig through the

27:40

Pfizer's window. No. No. Oh, that's why

27:42

you're good. Okay. Yeah. And so Johnson Johnson

27:45

Johnson is the last dangerous -- Okay.

27:47

-- because it's a old one. This last thing just

27:50

one. Yeah. I will. It's like if you have

27:52

crystal math, heroin, cocaine. It's

27:54

the cocaine. It's the moly.

27:56

Okay. You're gonna eat ass for five hours --

27:58

Yeah. -- you're assuming. Yeah. But

27:59

including break, piss breaks -- Yeah. -- and

28:02

water breaks, we count that all together

28:04

for just five hours of eating ass.

28:06

Yeah.

28:06

Yeah. You got accounts. Speaking of,

28:08

which, probably, not the best transition to

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Oh, look at that dude. waking

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up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We got

29:17

birth. We got them. You got me. You

29:19

got me. You got me. Welcome to the

29:21

dogs. Dude, dude, we

29:22

got some coffee. I

29:25

I wish MRNA --

29:27

Fucking.

29:27

-- I love jobs.

29:29

Who was

29:30

the greatest quarterback from Florida

29:32

state? Charlie Ward. Okay. That's the greatest one

29:34

ever. out of those. What were your health prospects? What

29:36

happened in the playoffs like basketball.

29:38

Yeah. You wanna go into the pro No. You wanna have

29:40

Royce with Royce back. Okay. So who am second in

29:42

the quarterback? It's first thing. No

29:45

one. I mean, Winky was good for when he

29:47

Eddie he was good for when he was like good sand

29:49

with this college. You know? I used to know.

29:51

Florida. Yeah. I mean, he used to roof. I

29:53

when he I when he was there when I was there, when he went and

29:55

played minor league baseball and then came

29:58

back and played college football. He

29:59

was, like, thirty five played.

30:02

Sorry. We're dude baseball. A baseball. Amazing.

30:06

Amazing. He's on the patch cue next, bro.

30:08

He was pretty Yeah. He's on some he

30:10

got some rings. No. They never got

30:11

a ring, but they would go deep in play. So he was

30:14

good. He was amazing. He was a

30:16

service he was work done. Work done was there

30:18

when I was there. Lord

30:20

Dunn was great. Building houses for single

30:22

mother. Lord Dunn's a bad motherfucker. He's

30:24

near him probably a very little inclement graduation

30:26

when he sat next to each other. and I

30:28

You know, he's been wilder. Right? I

30:31

know that. And so and

30:33

so edit

30:33

that out. And so -- Wow. -- I

30:35

fucking hate it because Everyone

30:37

was based on you. Yes. Wait

30:39

a minute. That movie was based on that

30:41

movie. That movie was based on that movie.

30:44

That movie

30:46

was based on him. There's an

30:48

article written

30:48

about Ryan Reynolds, that movie.

30:50

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I do

30:52

have What is the program? I know. I I'd love

30:54

to fucking meet him. You

30:56

wanna do the thing Why do I know Here's my problem.

30:58

He played you. He played you. A

31:00

hundred percent. No. Listen to me. In

31:02

nineteen ninety

31:02

seven, Rolling Stone magazine wrote an

31:05

article about me call him the number one party in a little country. That got

31:07

option into

31:07

a movie and to make a movie, so

31:09

a bunch of people submitted scripts. And one of those

31:11

scripts, when the option went away, I was trying to deal

31:13

with Will Smith, we'll Smith's, like, yo, either

31:15

he plays himself. You guys gotta kill

31:17

this offense. And then there was you wanna have

31:19

gay sex. Yeah. He wanna have gay sex with me. So the

31:21

option goes away. everyone takes their scripts, takes a number of other

31:23

places, one of them takes it to national impound.

31:26

And they change my name, keep my friend's name

31:28

in it, and then that becomes a movie

31:31

named Wilder. how does the legend so I hear that and

31:33

then I go and then and my

31:35

agents

31:35

managers, they all wanted to sue when the

31:37

movie came out. Ryan Reynolds had not

31:39

really done anything. He'd been in two guys growing a

31:41

pizza place with up until then. So

31:44

he

31:44

wasn't like a star. It didn't have a big

31:46

premier didn't make any money in the theaters. I

31:48

saw that shit right when it came up. And

31:50

I fucking loved it, but it got really

31:52

big selling. It got really big movie. Big

31:54

deal fan wild. I wanna know

31:57

Like, what what did

31:59

you do? Did

32:00

Rolling Stone? Like, what

32:03

what were you doing? Did Rolling Stone had

32:05

to make a fucking they they wrote an

32:07

article about you. Right? I was I was What did you

32:09

do? Like, what was it? What

32:11

separated you from every other I want

32:13

to, like, not to Two year

32:15

old

32:15

home? No. Not. I'm not two year old anymore. First of

32:17

all, I've been in college for six and a half

32:19

years. Okay. And so -- Okay. --

32:21

I knew everyone there. Like, I do. Do

32:23

you actually go into classes? Yeah.

32:26

Like, why would you this how

32:28

did you become this party guy? So what

32:30

happened is, Rolling Stone wanted to write

32:32

an article about the school at first. Okay. And so

32:34

they reached out to a bunch of people, like, a couple of

32:36

presidents of organizations. Okay. And they

32:38

said, you know, we want a chaperone. So I'm gonna take us around and show

32:40

us around. Do you have anyone that you from

32:42

your work? And every the first five

32:45

people he called all said my

32:47

name. They all said, you gotta go with Bert. You gotta go with Bert. The

32:49

last guy he called,

32:50

thought it was me pranking him.

32:53

So he's like, oh, yeah. and,

32:55

like, really sold it. Burt's a fucking animal man. He's

32:57

the fucking machine. You're gonna fucking love this

33:00

guy. Oh, dude. And so the

33:02

guy then called me. And that

33:04

guy went on to be a Simpsons character

33:06

because he sounds act like this. Yeah.

33:08

Oh, yeah. Oh, so

33:10

he gives he gives that guy, my phone

33:12

number, that guy calls me, my buddy

33:14

blares as a

33:14

phone number in the middle of a bomb hit, and

33:17

he he was a rolling stone

33:18

for you. And I was like,

33:20

okay. I'm in the middle of a bomb hit. We're about to

33:22

play disc golf. I was like, hello.

33:23

And he was like, hey, my name is Eric

33:26

Edegard. I've worked worked for

33:28

Dunadott. I wanna come spend a week with you, and then then I exhaled

33:30

at the end of his pitch. And he goes, were

33:32

you just doing

33:32

a bomb hit? And I said, yeah. I'm playing

33:34

disc golf a little bit. And I was like, yeah, come down on

33:36

November. I'll I'll calling

33:38

when he got here. And I

33:39

hung up. And the guy must

33:40

have felt felt like he stepped in shit. He must have been

33:42

like, this is the guy. So he goes

33:45

down and

33:47

we and and I was like, yeah. Rolling Stone's

33:49

here. I didn't think it was gonna be really shut up in

33:51

my house. He's like, try to stay with you. I'll

33:53

stay I'll just follow you around for five

33:55

days, six days. And I

33:56

just fucking threw, like, the biggest party you'd ever

33:58

could have imagined. For that. Yeah.

33:59

Like, I was like I was like, yo. I got everyone. all

34:02

the songs magazine. songs here. I'm a throw a

34:04

party in. So we threw a party that was, like, fucking

34:06

epic. What was epic about the party? What was the what was the

34:09

topic? So here's the here's the thing here's the thing

34:11

that made me different at that time

34:13

in my life was I knew everyone from

34:15

everywhere. So I knew everyone in

34:17

every return So this guy knew everyone

34:19

in every sorority. didn't have any

34:22

I I just knew everyone. So when I said, hey, let's

34:24

a party. I called, like, four or five people. We

34:26

all live in this big place called Indian village

34:28

by the though Campbell. And so everyone's like, okay, on

34:31

it. We'll get kegs. And so now

34:33

we all have houses condos by

34:35

the pool. It's

34:38

a Sigapp, SA, Lambda AT0KA

34:40

and and we're all, like, the the

34:42

head kind of the heads of our attorneys,

34:45

And so all of a sudden, it is the most

34:47

the most insane rager you've

34:50

ever fucking seen. stone party. Dude,

34:52

yeah. And everyone's like, where's the stone guy? They

34:54

wanna meet him and if meet them. They're, like,

34:56

fucking acting up. And and and we just

34:58

and and you know, this is the big thing. You know how

35:00

you would if, like, normally,

35:02

if you in college, you just wake up and maybe

35:04

watch yes. fan a couple times. Well, I have a guy

35:06

with me with a pen and paper going, like, what do

35:08

we do next? So I'm gonna fuck

35:12

it. Let's we go to

35:12

a bar. Let's it's, like, eight in the morning. Let's see if we can get someone open a bar.

35:14

So someone open a bar, we'd make wings and we'd all

35:17

but we just party our fucking dicks off. I mean,

35:19

we really partnered our dicks off.

35:21

And at the end of the thing,

35:22

boom, we became really good friends.

35:24

I mean, this guy, Eric, the other thing is, what are you

35:26

gonna what do you think is gonna happen to you? Like, how do I end this

35:28

story? What's gonna happen to you? And I was like,

35:30

I was

35:31

gonna know. I was like, I probably end up selling carpets

35:33

in East Georgia. He's like, what do you wanna do? I

35:35

said, I wanna do comedy. was like, you said,

35:37

I was like, really?

35:39

He's like, yeah. then go This is supposed to be an

35:41

article about Florida State and I get a call

35:43

and they're like, I think we're

35:45

gonna

35:45

shift the focus of the article a

35:48

little bit So it's really

35:50

broad. We didn't really have a story about Florida state, but we have a

35:52

really good story about you. Can we

35:53

send a picture to a photographer not six of

35:56

pictures of you? And I was like,

35:58

When

35:58

the article came out, it was me in the

35:59

center, like, ripping my shirt

36:01

open in the fountain with

36:03

a keg and a

36:05

bunch of checks. And the opening sentence was has taken

36:07

Burger Chrysler six and a half years to become the

36:09

man he is today, which is the number one party

36:11

or the number one party school in

36:14

the country. and

36:15

it changed my life immediately. Yeah.

36:17

Like, immediately, like Like, what happened to

36:19

me? The world of television shows all started showing

36:21

up and telepsy going, hey. We're gonna say, we wanna meet you. We wanna meet you.

36:23

We wanna meet you. Oprah girls are all.

36:26

I no. No. No.

36:28

No. No. Chris Winky came up to me at a bar.

36:30

He was starting to court about Florida state, and he's

36:32

like, you. read the article cool shit, man. Let's get a beer. The offensive line

36:34

was there and they're like, we're partnering with the fucking

36:36

party animal. Here's the thing about the the

36:38

main water thing, and I'd

36:40

be serious. I

36:41

wanna meet Ryan Reynolds. I wanna meet that guy. Who does it? I

36:43

don't wanna meet him and him go. Whatever. You're the

36:45

man of all

36:47

the guy. Like,

36:48

I'm, like, I'm, like, I wanna be bigger than that. Like, I'm I'm

36:51

I'm towing in arenas. I'm I'm

36:53

I'm I'm working my ass off We play

36:55

the

36:55

gay bar jacks

36:58

and film. Yeah. Well, okay. Same same. But like but like

37:00

I I go I don't wanna be known as that

37:02

guy. I wanna be known as I love Burt Price should be

37:04

bigger than that. Does that does that make sense?

37:07

Yeah. But

37:07

then it then it doesn't because it's

37:10

like there's no competition.

37:12

You're both like crushing it in

37:14

your way. No. I have no

37:16

competition. I just don't wanna like, if you go, can you imagine meeting

37:18

someone and then going,

37:20

and i'm going

37:22

This is Sam Eddie. Instead of stating your your obvious

37:24

achievements going, he felt

37:26

Brendan College. And then what was,

37:29

like, oh, you're fucking brand that and then you're like, well,

37:31

hang on one second. I I also have too

37:33

chill. I'm I'm really happy a lot,

37:35

you know. So what what

37:37

needs to happen before you'd

37:40

for you to

37:40

feel comfortable to meet him and hang out

37:42

with him. Mhmm.

37:43

When does that? my movie, the machine

37:45

needs to come out, and it needs to be do very

37:47

well. You got

37:48

a movie coming out? Yeah. Of the machine.

37:52

Are you in it? Yeah. I started it. And so I that I think if

37:54

that movie came out and it did well and, like,

37:56

and then you know, you start getting offers, then I could

37:58

meet that guy and be, like, I'd be comfortable going,

38:00

hey man, Just so you know,

38:02

I

38:02

met the dude at at National Lampoon. They

38:04

told me that this story is based on

38:06

me. Like, I don't have any proof

38:08

of that shit, but,

38:10

like, that

38:10

but other than people that work on the project telling me, oh, yeah. Yeah.

38:12

We read that article. The whole thing's based on

38:14

you. And then I'd be like, mom bird, but

38:17

And then I would love for him when I say my name's Bert, I'd love

38:19

for him to go, oh, I know who you are as opposed

38:22

to, oh, if you have a while

38:23

or not. Does that make sense?

38:25

We have we have I'm

38:27

gonna slice these up

38:29

for you. Check

38:31

the

38:31

chicken right now. We don't have

38:33

the sides. What do you think what do

38:36

you think? That looks perfect. And that's interesting. slice

38:38

through. This is a beautiful thing about on all

38:40

steaks. I

38:40

don't know what they do their food. Listen, dude. Not

38:42

all chicken's the same, bro.

38:45

That's some good shit right there. There's

38:47

some bad chicken out there. Take a

38:49

look at this. Fuckin'

38:52

shit, dude. then take a look at

38:54

this. She's the best gig

38:56

ever. You

38:56

guys like a teziqui, a homemade

38:59

teziqui? I'm down with it. Should we

39:01

drizzle that for yogurt? Yeah.

39:03

Let's

39:03

do

39:04

it.

39:06

Dude,

39:06

you're a legit chef

39:08

and you just dropped all

39:10

sorts of and epic stories

39:12

while you're making epic Food?

39:16

food

39:19

Gentlemen. Thank

39:24

you. I don't see some fucking bad ass knives. Do

39:27

we have gave the knives that were given to me. Yeah.

39:30

here. Super Mario is

39:32

like. Where do you see these fucking knives? This

39:34

fan sent them to me?

39:36

And

39:36

these knives are fucking sharpie shit

39:39

and badass

39:40

homemade egg. Oh my

39:44

god. Yeah.

39:45

Say, I'm getting there

39:47

lean lean in a little

39:49

bit less. Right. The

39:51

one. A perfect do.

39:54

Oh, that's so

39:56

good. Man,

39:58

let's see

39:58

here. You've

39:59

won.

40:00

Dude, in

40:02

life. III didn't think you were taking a look. I never

40:04

thought you were actually gonna make something like

40:07

like gourmet. I thought you were just

40:09

gonna make some fucking because

40:11

that's a that's it. That's all.

40:14

Josh fucking brilliant out there. I'm good.

40:16

Have you made this before? No. I never.

40:19

You just made it Why the girl? No. No. No. I've

40:21

never made it before. You made it since our

40:23

main name? Yeah. Oh,

40:26

shit. Just

40:26

look. I'm look chicken is one of the harder things to cook

40:28

when you're a kid. You're

40:30

like, everyone makes it dry. and

40:34

look at just how tender that is.

40:36

I don't know if it's Omaha Steaks chicken

40:38

that they sent me or if it's my skills, but

40:41

I'll take

40:41

it. I wanna start

40:44

off by saying, I've been using Made

40:46

in Cookware to cook my

40:47

breakfast every morning for

40:49

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40:53

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a you know what I have? If you guys do

43:20

if you guys light it, I have a stove and we

43:22

can have bread and pears for dinner, for

43:24

dessert if you're interested. How

43:26

much is the dessert? Bears. Alright.

43:30

Well, let's heat up. We'll talk. And then I'll

43:32

send you guys out. You guys light it, and then I'll cut up

43:34

the prayers and breathe. Ignore it over. It's a

43:36

smokeless stove. It's pretty

43:38

fucking nice. They're really

43:38

great, especially if you go camping, but you're only taking family out. But,

43:40

like, we we go out to the beach. Really fucking

43:42

nice to put them out there. And

43:45

it's and then fucking Wood, they gave us

43:47

through the roof. It was It's not so crazy about the

43:49

guys that got themselves. So he was best

43:51

friends with Jacqueline Right? Oh.

43:54

He was a Jackal Lane. He was best

43:56

friends at Jackal Lane. So they

43:58

had all this first

43:59

generation workout gear all

44:02

over the place. like, the first, like, like, like, a,

44:04

like, pulley machine that Jack Wolf

44:05

Lane came out with. They had installed it

44:07

all over here, and his

44:09

other best friend

44:10

other best friend was

44:12

Hugh Heffner. Oh, yes. I know they were in some weird

44:14

shit. Dude, he they had

44:16

Hugh Heffner's bed. They Hugh

44:18

Heffner had this, like, insane bed built

44:22

for like, before the one No. They got weird

44:24

shit, bro. And then you said, mommy was

44:26

gonna say, bro. You said you ever had

44:28

this insane? build

44:31

truck. Yeah. I wrote AAA

44:33

when I worked in the Mancha, I wrote this commercial

44:35

parody that never went anywhere

44:36

was called the Bad. It

44:39

was it was about a bed -- Yeah. -- like opening

44:41

the commercial, if the guys having sex with his

44:44

his wife or his girlfriend, and then the bed

44:46

falls apart. Yeah. And

44:48

she goes, That's it. I'm getting out. I'm done with you when she leaves and the guy

44:50

looks. He's like, fuck. So

44:52

it's like, does this happen

44:54

to you?

44:56

At those a bed, they could take the most pounding. So it

44:58

was built like steel girders and Juno Mats

45:00

and everything like this ultimate fuck

45:02

bed. We got a fuck bed.

45:05

And then we

45:05

had, remember Bob Sap, three hundred and

45:08

seventy. Big giant balls. When he comes

45:10

in to fuck with the bad? No.

45:12

They're they're testing the bad. So they scientists

45:14

in in lab coats and they got clipboards

45:16

and Bob's app is fucking for

45:19

for the studies, for the eddie fucking

45:21

blow up dolls. So he's

45:23

like, fucking blowing dolls. And he's blowing them

45:25

up their boat. So he's gonna give me another

45:27

one, and they've thrown it though. Decided, give me

45:29

another one. The boss side

45:32

is fucking but a lot of dogs on this bed to go, feel another He's

45:34

like, it was a pain

45:36

free. Gotta fuck that. It was two

45:40

statologically, son. all you think

45:42

about is sex and shit. That's what they

45:44

told me. Like, they ignored

45:46

my my my messages.

45:48

Bob said that's a fucking throwback after

45:50

Bob said, well, He was

45:52

so fucking jacked. Is that like

45:54

number one guy that, like, if you had

45:56

the power ranked dudes, you didn't wanna walk in

45:58

on being with your

45:59

wife? Is he, like, top guy? He's a hundred and

46:02

seventy five pounds. Like, what are you

46:04

gonna do? Jack is probably number

46:06

one. Iron and Jack has a regular

46:08

dick. Yeah. It's, like, the big the

46:10

rumors, like, no. It's not it's not what you think. It's

46:12

not what you think. It's not what you think. You know, you

46:14

know?

46:14

I bet. regular day call

46:16

and check on back. Yeah. He's not looking

46:19

like micro. Yeah. He's like, dude, you got

46:21

a small thing because, actually, no. It's not

46:23

small. It's actually nine inches. Yeah. I

46:25

just look tiny on here. It's

46:27

actually twelve minutes. Congress just looks like a

46:29

six inch stick would look on you.

46:31

Good. Right. God damn it. That's But

46:34

his dick was proportional to our

46:36

his his body it would be nineteen

46:38

inch. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I would I was

46:40

just normal proportion. It would be nineteen inch.

46:42

There's a few things that I'd put money

46:44

behind a paywall for one of picture of

46:46

Shacks. Dick. Really? I'd I'd wanna see Shasta Dick. I bought a playing girl when

46:48

Brad Pitt was naked in and I just see his

46:50

dick, he has a hogs. Oh,

46:52

Brad Pitt as

46:53

a hogs. You

46:55

know who you

46:56

know who probably has the biggest

46:58

dick in in Hollywood?

47:00

Bill Moore.

47:01

Pete Davidson. He's

47:03

got out of

47:06

big fucking dick. No. That guy's got

47:08

out of a big dick. No. But All the bigs is

47:10

he's banging? He's paying a high level. Chic out the Chic out the Chic out the

47:12

Chic out the Chic out the Chic I I think I

47:14

think what he does I think

47:16

he's got I think

47:18

he's eating ass and pussy everywhere. Nope. No. You know what his thing is? He's doing

47:20

something. It's it's Either his dick is as

47:22

big. I mean, he can you know what I mean? Oh,

47:24

worker is his one of

47:26

those dudes

47:28

can blow loads over and over again. Like me, I blow load,

47:30

dude. I want a sandwich. I'm done.

47:32

I don't want seconds. Yeah. I'm not

47:34

like there's no round too, dog.

47:37

We're done. I hope you came because

47:39

I'm done. Yeah. But there's dudes out

47:42

there, three percent of dudes out there, and they

47:44

usually go into porn. Yeah. They can

47:46

bust not after not after not. I wish I

47:48

had those problems. Can you imagine if you could bust them

47:50

out and go? I would He's a dirty guy. He's a

47:52

dirty eddie. study.

47:54

that got that number at three percent. Who did you

47:56

speak with? Both guys true

47:58

true or possible. You guys die

48:00

and then die. With the

48:02

clip bar, Oh, you know. When you nod, are you

48:04

done? Dude, when you nod, are you done? Here's

48:06

the thing about me. That's enough. Oh

48:08

my god. You could get all my

48:10

dick stays hard.

48:12

That's a super bad. Oh my god. Dude,

48:14

I that's a super bad guy in such

48:16

a bad drive problem. It was because I

48:19

could fuck on Coke, like, not in production of

48:21

an orange star. No. I'm just not big enough.

48:23

nobody wants to jerk off. So it's not that big, but you

48:25

could go for Yeah. I got

48:27

I got I got like a fucking shake, bro. Yeah.

48:29

Shake, man. I got I got

48:32

fifteen good minutes, and

48:34

I'm done. Does this stay

48:36

hard for now? It just stays

48:38

hard. But I got girls arriving

48:40

so fast the other day, then my wife goes. That can't be

48:42

what you thought it would be. But I'm I know a guy. I'm

48:44

a good friend that I grew up with in jujitsu. He

48:46

was my number one training partner, and

48:48

his problem with his girlfriend's worst.

48:51

was he would go to their girlfriends because they couldn't

48:53

hang with them. He needed to fuck every

48:55

day for an hour. And these girl and

48:57

the girls he was going out with her, they just had

48:59

ten, fifteen minutes. You know what I mean?

49:01

They were like, done. And it would be a big fucking deal, though. I'm like, damn. I

49:04

wish I had those powers because, you

49:06

know what I meant? Fifteen minutes is all

49:08

I mean. heartening

49:10

me. It's like like this for fifty minutes

49:12

is a long time. Do you time that? If

49:14

you've ever known you minutes, just seen minutes

49:16

like that. That's a long term. I have that.

49:18

But some girls went an hour. I can't come

49:21

on this. Yeah. because you're just laying back

49:23

to it tonight. I like that too

49:25

if I was single. When I was single. British. As soon as

49:27

the girl said, when I was single, I went

49:29

to strip club, I was single for a long

49:31

time. As soon as the girl

49:34

said, Oh, I've never had an orgasm. I'm like, damn,

49:36

we can't have. You know what I

49:38

mean? because you're gonna be very disappointed

49:41

in my performance. because there are girls

49:43

who can't have orgasms. They wanna fuck for it, like, an hour and a half. That's it going on. I'm like, that's Who's

49:46

it? Who's it? Who's it? I've

49:48

never caught

49:50

a face? Yeah. Yeah. Like, no. I was like, oh, I was like, we

49:52

had a head. Yeah. I became I became friends with

49:54

those girls when they say, oh my god. No one's

49:56

ever made

49:58

me cutbacks. I only

49:59

come I only come once in my

50:02

life. I'm like, okay. We can't hang. And

50:04

I would recommend I would try to hook

50:06

them. I love you. you too. I know a

50:08

guy for you. He needs to say, you're gonna

50:10

fuck for an hour like a fucking jack

50:12

rabbit. You guys would be great together.

50:14

He loves fucking You realize it?

50:16

Okay. Here's the question. it. Could you,

50:19

life dependent on it? Give a woman an orgasm with

50:20

your hands tied behind your back. Just

50:23

your dick. All your love to say is it. Yes.

50:25

I know how to grind on Only

50:27

it all depends on the chip. There's some girls

50:29

that can come easy, they can pop off too

50:31

within ten minutes. I like those. The ones that

50:34

come from you all. No problem. We know we like

50:36

those. We like cars that got

50:38

returned early, and they're and they're only at the

50:40

yeah. Eighty five miles on those weather

50:42

still used. I had there was this girl that I was up. Yeah. heard I

50:44

like you in accordance too. I've never seen

50:46

one. That was this girl.

50:50

that I knew, there was a friend of mine, and she had a boyfriend, and I

50:52

was, like, attracted to her. This is back when I

50:54

was, like, fifteen years ago. And I was

50:55

very attracted to her, and she was a good friend of

50:58

mine, she had

51:00

a boyfriend. and then one day she goes, I'm having trouble

51:02

with my boyfriend. I'm like, what's

51:04

going on? Because he so mad at

51:06

me because I come

51:07

as soon as he puts his dick in me, I come

51:10

so fast and he don't like that. And I

51:12

was like, oh my god, I'm gonna

51:14

marry this. But she was down

51:16

here. She was telling me her

51:18

boyfriend's medallion. She's supposed to be a global

51:20

practice. I've heard

51:22

my life. I

51:24

was like, damn. My dick is right here. Get back.

51:26

Get back.

51:27

Get back. No. All

51:28

the important pictures only has had

51:30

this, like, time where all the servers

51:33

who just sit around their therapy with And you would all just talk

51:35

about the front of me because I

51:37

grew up, so he

51:40

might Boom. So I need to sleep with something in my mouth. That's why I his

51:42

dick in my ass. He is it. Wow.

51:44

He's a wonderful fuck.

51:49

back in

51:49

the nineties when I was working with

51:51

strip club. What strip club? What

51:53

strip club was it? The

51:55

bear elegance by the

51:57

airport, LAX. And there was

51:58

this one girl that I was

51:59

really, like, fact, familiar with.

52:02

It's very beautiful. Very

52:05

beautiful. And I a year. I was just, like, oh my god. I

52:07

was just so fascinated with it. And then but she had

52:09

a boyfriend. Yeah. And then her boyfriend

52:12

and her

52:14

parted ways. and now she

52:16

singled the strip club, and then she was at the

52:18

DJ booth, like, just

52:20

throwing signals

52:22

and signs. and then she goes, yeah, I just broke up with my

52:24

boyfriend and I'm staying at my

52:26

best friend's mom's house,

52:28

like a mom and dad, her best friend of the

52:30

other mom

52:32

and dad, And I'm like, dad, me

52:34

home? I'm like, yeah.

52:36

Oh my

52:36

god. This girl that I've had feelings

52:40

for, and I felt affectionate

52:42

feelings towards her. She wanted

52:44

a ride home and so

52:46

I gave her a ride home and I had

52:48

a a ninety one Ford Explorer. Like, the side windows go

52:50

out like that. Like, those side windows.

52:52

Yeah. Very important. Very important. Very important.

52:54

No. You remember. You

52:57

know a rush. So she's sitting shotgun. So

52:59

I drove her home and we started making

53:02

out and

53:04

kissing affectionately. and

53:06

she we couldn't go inside to

53:10

procreate. Yeah. You know what I mean?

53:12

I'm so

53:14

So I wanted to I was in love with Aiden.

53:16

I was in I was in love person.

53:18

She was a stripper. She was a stripper. Sure.

53:22

So we if we were going to consummate our

53:24

relationship, is that correct?

53:26

Permit, should you? No. I don't

53:28

know. I'm just trying to have

53:30

sex. We

53:32

had to do it in

53:33

the car. So she's shotgun. She'd been stripping eight hours

53:35

though. Remember that? Yeah. And there's no showers

53:37

to strip up. Okay.

53:40

So she had vans

53:42

on

53:43

with no socks. You know vans?

53:45

Am I right with no

53:47

socks? Yeah. fucking

53:48

shoes off. We're about to

53:51

consummate our relationship.

53:54

Yeah. Shockcon. And her

53:56

feet or take it. The worst

53:58

feet. So,

53:59

like, maximum feet odor. Like,

54:02

everybody knows that. When you're like,

54:04

someone's feet, like, what's

54:06

going on with the feet? Yeah. No socks with

54:08

vans on. Hence, you've been stripping all day

54:10

and heels. So then when I put I'm

54:12

like, dude, I liked her so much. I didn't give

54:14

a fuck. power through it. I did

54:16

power through it. Then I then I pulled down her panties like that

54:18

and then I got a whiff of her

54:22

genitalia. Eddie you,

54:24

she was working and paying being

54:26

responsible. how we are. She was she

54:28

was she was paying her bills and being

54:31

responsible for eight hours. She

54:33

had she was contributing to society paying

54:35

taxes. Yeah. And choose the

54:38

old. And just You know you

54:40

know you know how Like,

54:42

two colors can make a whole new color.

54:44

You know, like like like blue

54:46

and yellow make green, Green

54:49

is not blue. Green is not yellow. Green is

54:51

its own thing, but you put them together, and

54:53

then it's green. And you know how, like,

54:56

blue and purple? Yeah. Oh, no. Blue

54:58

is red. Yeah. Blue is red. Yeah. Blue is

55:00

red. That purple is not blue. Purple is

55:02

not red. So the combination of

55:04

her genitalia

55:06

that certain ascent? I'm

55:10

decrepit. Would you prefer to

55:12

say on

55:14

your feet? Put together, there's a whole new color dog, but that was

55:16

a new color. I never smelled that color

55:18

before. It was like if he took

55:20

a shit Out rotting

55:22

corpse, it would not smell like a rotting

55:24

corpse. It would not smell like a piece of shit.

55:26

It would be a brand new color. It

55:28

would be like some I'm

55:30

going to magenta. So

55:33

me, because I was so in love

55:35

with her, I couldn't believe.

55:37

I just said fuck it.

55:40

And I got in there, doc. My dick was

55:42

still hard. Yeah. My dick

55:44

don't have a

55:46

nose. Right. You're fired, Jamie. So What?

55:48

But my head hasn't knows. So

55:50

then, no. I hit I was

55:52

hitting your missionary like eddie.

55:55

and I opened the side window, dude, and I'm hanging

55:57

over her

55:59

shoulder. I still

56:01

Complete

56:04

him. the task of the procreative

56:06

children. soldier. Yes. But

56:08

you know what? I didn't want I

56:10

didn't want that to affect our relationships

56:13

in the next they she came over. You know those those

56:15

snacks, like You know

56:18

that you know that you know that you buy

56:20

the whole foods and like Trader Joe's like, nah.

56:23

There's like a big ass. There's like a bible

56:25

of natural remedies and that you go through

56:27

and it's like an encyclopedia and it and

56:29

it lists all the different

56:31

ailments. And you go to the back, and you go to v, and you

56:33

go to vaginosis. Yeah. And it

56:36

tells you why a woman would have

56:38

vaginosis, AAB

56:40

vitamin deficiency. So I sat her down.

56:42

I love this girl. I was in love with her. So

56:44

I sat her down and I opened up the bundle, you know,

56:46

I got this at home. Dude, that's it. turn

56:49

a top day too. I

56:52

didn't wanna lose another day too. I didn't wanna

56:54

lose her. I didn't wanna lose

56:56

Okay. We had to deal with ASM and another dog. Between

56:58

your pussy and your feet. My

57:01

dog will stay there. You

57:04

know what? No, sir. So so

57:06

so I explained to her as a girl,

57:08

Wollie. So when I know it, I

57:10

cried, he saw it. Right. No.

57:12

So so I explained her that

57:14

she had there was nothing wrong with her. She just

57:16

had a b vitamin deficiency. And we need to

57:18

get dude, she showed up. We went ended up

57:20

going up for, like, a year. She showed

57:22

up every day to my

57:24

house with a duffle bag filled

57:26

with vitamins. She became like

57:28

a like advising junkie,

57:30

dude. But he never smelled, he

57:32

never smelled. It was like, I ain't not even brought

57:34

up the feet. I ain't even brought up the fucking

57:37

fucking shit. I can't bring up the I

57:39

can't bring up the pride of the

57:42

people. That's a

57:44

true story. So

57:46

what made you guys break

57:48

up? I mean I was your dad

57:50

and I was just I was just, like,

57:52

bored after, like, a

57:54

year. Right. Let's

57:54

have dessert. Alright. Here's what we got.

57:57

You ready for this? Yeah. So this is

57:59

what great about Solo's though, but

58:02

smokeless. As you've noticed, there's no smoke around? There's no smoke.

58:04

I know. It's unbelievable. I've

58:06

I've heated up this spree. We

58:09

were gonna oh, I'm gonna keep one here just in case this isn't

58:11

as hot. Oh, that's

58:13

hot. I love

58:14

this smokeless fire. I love nothing

58:16

better than a fire pit. to sit

58:18

by a fire, but the smoke drives me fucking nuts. Yeah. But all of

58:21

a sudden, you're like, you're like, I love it. I

58:23

don't know how they did this.

58:26

but this

58:26

thing is phenomenal. This is

58:28

my go to. I take

58:29

this with us. If we go camping, I bring this

58:31

with us. I don't trust their

58:33

fire pit. I want this one. If

58:35

you're watching this show and you want a

58:37

solo stove, I

58:39

got you. Okay? Use the

58:41

promo code burning at solostove dot com to get ten dollars off.

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They're already fantastic prices. That's

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58:51

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58:55

in your life let me help you help you.

58:57

Does that make sense? Go to

59:00

solostove dot com

59:00

and use promo code burning. What kind

59:02

of stuff? Do you have any, like,

59:04

of the oven a like Do you have any traditions,

59:06

Armenian Mexican. Right? Name

59:08

of American Mexican? Just

59:10

regular Mexican.

59:11

Just regular Mexican. Eddie

59:14

Depot. It's Mexican.

59:16

What do you have any, like, any,

59:18

like, weird almost,

59:20

like, I say, voodoo stuff

59:22

in your in your family based on

59:25

your culture that you go, oh,

59:27

like like,

59:27

oh, no. This is a bad example,

59:29

but, like, Asian

59:30

people never really wear shoes in the house.

59:32

Like, they're that was illegal to do that. My families my

59:35

parents generation between my grandparents and

59:37

them, their whole thing was

59:39

assimilate to Americans. much

59:42

as you possibly could. So so many

59:44

great traditions were lost, and I'm really

59:46

regret that, man. Yeah. I'm really regret

59:49

that there's no lag. I I don't have anything

59:51

handed down from generation generation because

59:53

I have kids now. And I'd love to

59:55

pass on something to that So we don't

59:57

have any of that crazy shit, which makes me

59:59

sad, man. I I used to love going to our

1:00:02

churches all the time, but it

1:00:04

was a

1:00:04

time where you assimilated and you tried

1:00:06

to be be American. Yeah.

1:00:09

There's

1:00:09

a there

1:00:10

like like,

1:00:12

a lot

1:00:12

of our

1:00:14

neighbors are meaning around here. ARMOLs,

1:00:16

bro, this area is ARMOLs

1:00:18

juice after the most famous armenians.

1:00:20

Dude, Jerry Tardanian -- Oh,

1:00:22

no. -- are are Armenian? Who?

1:00:25

George Clooney? No.

1:00:28

He's got some armor in him. Yeah.

1:00:30

Sifting System of the down is System of the

1:00:32

most famous Armenians. You know, I heard

1:00:34

that I heard wanted to get them on the

1:00:36

fucking thing when they were doing. There's a war or something? Yeah. There's some going on right

1:00:38

now. Ajay Bajal Bajal Bajal Bajal. Yeah. And so I

1:00:40

wanted to get them on to talk about it because I

1:00:42

saw that lead sing or any

1:00:44

eddie very and, I guess, they just they didn't know who I was, so they were, like, I

1:00:46

don't know, I'm not gonna go on your podcast. And but

1:00:49

System it down.

1:00:50

System it down. twelve. What

1:00:53

do you think about when you you're a rock guy? What do think a system

1:00:55

is down? A row. How do I get

1:00:57

up

1:00:57

about a hundred?

1:00:58

my favorite

1:01:00

things, he sings like, hey. You ever watch

1:01:02

him. This is how he say like -- Yeah. --

1:01:04

it's it's got some Armenia tradition. Dude,

1:01:08

it's

1:01:08

correct. Pro?

1:01:10

No

1:01:10

offense. They I'm not not I

1:01:13

I am a fan. I appreciate them,

1:01:15

but I'm not gonna say, yeah. I'm

1:01:17

gonna go buy their albums

1:01:19

and put it in my car. Right. I do appreciate

1:01:21

these albums anymore. I'm just

1:01:23

being

1:01:24

honest. I love it. Whatever I respect

1:01:26

them. but it's just not one bad. It's

1:01:28

not like a go to. They're not on my

1:01:30

all time list as far as, like, there's a

1:01:32

seven hour playlist that I have.

1:01:34

Alright. All time favorite song. and

1:01:37

they're I respect them. Alright. They some

1:01:38

good shit. They do.

1:01:40

Okay. Oh, here's here's here's

1:01:42

the real question. I'm not I'm

1:01:46

not seeking it? Here's the real question. This is the

1:01:48

this is the best question. Eddie Bravo's ever

1:01:50

been asked in his entire life. Oh,

1:01:53

shit. With your your

1:01:55

history

1:01:55

and

1:01:56

music. The right

1:01:59

before you're about

1:01:59

to wrestle

1:02:01

the wrestle, Hixson. Hixson.

1:02:02

Or, hold on. Horrion. Hoyler. Hoyler. Yeah.

1:02:05

Right before you're about to

1:02:07

fight Hoyler. Okay? or your

1:02:10

bowels become the first due to

1:02:12

Tampa

1:02:12

Gracie. Mhmm. And what

1:02:14

is in your headset before the match? Yeah. When

1:02:16

do you listen to the boss? listen to the

1:02:19

enemy. and never

1:02:20

listen music. For real,

1:02:22

no music

1:02:23

at all. Nothing to

1:02:25

put your walkout song. Yeah.

1:02:27

They'll have a walkout song. More bounce

1:02:29

to the bounce. He loves that shit.

1:02:31

What's that? It's an

1:02:33

old chorizo song.

1:02:35

Really classic chorizo song. you play more you

1:02:37

put that on a loop, and you drive around in the middle of the item, you just fucking drive around

1:02:39

the block or in a Or bounce to the house. What

1:02:41

do you come

1:02:44

out to? Fortunately, son,

1:02:44

which is a really good one for me because

1:02:47

it's about white privilege. Fortunately,

1:02:50

son, rubber bandman,

1:02:52

black eddie,

1:02:54

and hustling. How come out to me? Megan.

1:02:56

Meganill. I love

1:02:57

dreams in my mirror. Meganill. If

1:02:59

you ain't about that murder game

1:03:01

pussy and word it up.

1:03:03

I love doing that and just watching everyone to just

1:03:06

react to that. It's my favorite.

1:03:08

And I let them know right out

1:03:10

the gate. It's

1:03:11

odd. What percentage of white people do

1:03:13

you think of said the ad word? All

1:03:14

of that. I I would say I

1:03:17

like to be here in bed. How

1:03:20

fucking

1:03:20

pot? What the fuck? What is

1:03:22

it? I got brain. So I my favorite thing is

1:03:24

instead of the Sonos stove. get

1:03:26

the flame going. Have a cigar. Have a drink. Have lee anglers cigars at.

1:03:28

And then the wind then I got I got

1:03:30

all of it inside. And then and

1:03:34

then you bring out a little bit

1:03:36

of brie, a little bit of

1:03:38

brie, some

1:03:39

some some

1:03:40

some pears with some brown

1:03:42

sugar on them. You chuck

1:03:46

what?

1:03:47

Those are pizza? some

1:03:48

peaches and a little bit brown brown sugar? Brown

1:03:50

sugar on them. Oh, look at that.

1:03:53

Hold on. Brie. I remember the first

1:03:55

time I had Brie.

1:03:57

who free always

1:03:59

delivers. It is the cheese. It's the razzle

1:04:02

dazzle of cheese. That's cheese.

1:04:04

That's cheese. Brie bro? Watch this.

1:04:06

I know Brie is. I thought

1:04:08

Marie was Brianna.

1:04:10

Here

1:04:10

we go.

1:04:12

Damn. I'll take a look.

1:04:14

fries and peaches. Yeah.

1:04:17

peaches and cheese. A little burritos. Like the cheese, that

1:04:19

would be served at the nice strip club, not

1:04:21

the shady strip club. You can't

1:04:24

believe you never worked with

1:04:26

a brie. Okay.

1:04:28

I've worked with Kandi,

1:04:31

London. Sasha. Sasha is the only stripper

1:04:33

that you can say in the

1:04:35

mic. with an evil satanic voice, you know, coming

1:04:37

to the stage. Here

1:04:39

she comes.

1:04:42

So

1:04:42

It's the only evil one you could say.

1:04:44

A little bit of wreath. Oh, a little bit gentlemen,

1:04:46

please. Enjoy.

1:04:48

joy What what

1:04:49

the I'm not sure. How we do I just sold the

1:04:52

box. I mean, you know Works right there.

1:04:54

So take a little bit of Bree.

1:04:56

Thank

1:04:56

thank you you, Bob. We do this

1:04:57

for you. Little bit

1:05:00

of

1:05:00

re little bit of pear. Here,

1:05:02

I'll get you onto that. There

1:05:06

you go. Samuel

1:05:07

and myself. Thank you,

1:05:09

brother. Sorry.

1:05:10

Thank the Solo stuff. Thank

1:05:12

you, Solo stuff. You

1:05:14

Eddie. We did

1:05:16

get

1:05:17

it. I

1:05:18

was expecting it

1:05:21

to be amazing. I

1:05:27

really was.

1:05:32

I'm like, This

1:05:34

one's

1:05:38

good. Hey.

1:05:43

Let's try this Maybe I just Maybe

1:05:46

oh. Oh. The the

1:05:48

best

1:05:48

response ever. I've been

1:05:51

Beth again to be amazing. It's

1:05:56

bad. It's my

1:05:58

bad. Oh.

1:05:59

ah

1:06:01

Maybe.

1:06:04

Maybe it's amazing. Maybe it's amazing

1:06:06

and I haven't just I haven't realized it yet.

1:06:09

I know. Sometimes it takes know when

1:06:11

you listen to a song, first time you listen to the song, you're like,

1:06:13

a side. Second time you listen to the song, you're like,

1:06:15

eddie a little better. It's Good.

1:06:17

You gotta be a celebrity celebrity celebrity guy, oh my

1:06:20

god. I love this song. You gotta be a

1:06:22

breed dude. This is I

1:06:24

never heard a breed. underwhelming for

1:06:26

the calories.

1:06:32

Oh, I'm gonna

1:06:33

try it again. No.

1:06:40

What's inside of what is that? Don't don't go

1:06:43

too much on the breed bro. What a little bit

1:06:45

on the breed casing. Don't let the

1:06:47

breed overtake. Okay. What is the breed inside

1:06:49

of the outside? It's both.

1:06:51

is both technically. And then what are what are you talking about? Don't We're

1:06:54

saying you're going big chunks of bread. It's gonna

1:06:56

overwhelm the taste of the peach.

1:06:58

You got

1:06:58

it's got a compliment the peach. Now,

1:07:01

overtake the peach. It can't be the whole Okay.

1:07:04

Grab a little bit. A little bit

1:07:05

of rain. A tiny bit of ice ice ice ice

1:07:07

ice ice ice ice ice ice ice ice

1:07:09

ice ice Too much free. Too much of too

1:07:11

much of anything is not good. You know

1:07:14

what I mean? Right. One orange is

1:07:16

great. You have ten oranges, you

1:07:18

have diarrhea. I agree.

1:07:21

Here's him. The peaches

1:07:23

are great. Yeah. The peaches are

1:07:25

pretty fine. good. The brie I'll just bring a little bit

1:07:27

of that brie and just a little I think I think that If

1:07:29

you do just a little bit of brie with the

1:07:31

peach. The peach has the main flavor of the

1:07:33

and and the

1:07:36

comprehensive. Somebody told me that one.

1:07:38

Why do I get a window

1:07:40

there on my arm? Okay.

1:07:43

Oh my god. God, how

1:07:45

am I peep. This this is

1:07:47

a oh my

1:07:48

god. Wait. Another drink? Another

1:07:51

drink. Another drink? I

1:07:53

love you guys. I love you, man. I

1:07:55

love you guys. And you guys

1:07:57

are two grown men that showed

1:07:59

me you could be just nice little person, and then

1:08:01

they could be nice back, and then you could

1:08:03

be friends with them, and then

1:08:05

it's super simple. as opposed to

1:08:08

being clunky in your head and being

1:08:10

a fucking oh, they

1:08:11

wanna fuck me or whatever the fuck are my

1:08:13

brain says? That's a hundred percent. I don't wanna fuck

1:08:15

you. So just if you ever have

1:08:17

that, like, creep into your head. Like, damn, does anyone a fuck me anymore? You just pull me out of your

1:08:19

head. Gonna hold me.

1:08:23

Don't employ me. It's a waste of

1:08:25

time. It's a waste of time. I'll I'll I'll sit you

1:08:28

down like a

1:08:30

therapist, you know, dude. you

1:08:32

trip

1:08:32

it, but I do not wanna

1:08:34

fuck you. Trust me. I love this. You don't have to worry about that

1:08:37

with me, Doug. I appreciate

1:08:39

it. Alright. Thank you.

1:08:41

And if we ever did excess tea

1:08:43

and I if you ever wanted

1:08:45

to eat my ass, I would not

1:08:47

let

1:08:47

it happen. Thank you. Thank you

1:08:49

so much. I'll stop it. I'll stop it, people. happen. Hey, gentlemen,

1:08:52

gentlemen. Thank you for doing this.

1:08:54

I appreciate your help. Are you

1:08:56

kidding? Hey, Bert.

1:08:58

Love and and I love your your your feelings about the industry. Yeah.

1:09:01

I have the

1:09:04

same feelings.

1:09:04

You know what

1:09:06

I mean? I think I think most

1:09:08

of Hollywood is

1:09:09

fucking trash. You know what I mean?

1:09:11

But not you? I

1:09:13

don't think you are. You know what

1:09:15

But Fuck you.

1:09:36

This

1:09:38

episode was brought to you by the machine.