0:00

Hello , lady , and welcome to episode 200

0:03

and happy new year . I'm

0:06

so happy that you're here and I'm just super

0:08

excited about today's episode , and not only because

0:10

it's our 200th episode , but

0:12

because you're here and you're tuning in and

0:14

you're ready to get after it for this

0:16

year . And , by the way , if you've been tuning

0:19

in for the last 200 episodes , I

0:21

want to personally say thank you . I am so grateful for

0:23

you . I am so thankful that you've been tuning

0:25

in and supporting me along this journey and

0:28

if you're new here and stumbled upon this podcast

0:30

or maybe somebody shared this podcast

0:32

with you welcome . I am so

0:35

happy that you're here . My hopes is

0:37

that you not only learn

0:39

and get some of these tactical tools

0:41

to help you grow with your

0:44

mindset , or even just start applying them for you

0:46

to start getting after it , but also to

0:48

help you in the long-term , emotionally and

0:50

also just overall

0:52

, with your overall well-being . And so

0:54

thank you again for tuning in , for

0:57

stumbling near , and I'm just

0:59

so excited about today's episode . Today we

1:01

are talking about what

1:03

not to do or the mistakes that we make when

1:06

we are goal-setting , when we're trying

1:08

to get you know after the beginning of

1:10

January , the beginning of the year and just go

1:13

all in on our goals . And so

1:15

I want to offer this , because a

1:18

lot of the times and this has happened to me as

1:20

well we don't take in

1:22

consideration what

1:24

is happening in our mind and

1:26

really how these goals

1:28

maybe their goals that you've had before

1:31

are going to impact you in that

1:33

moment . Right , we always get

1:35

super excited on the new

1:37

year , the new you know it's

1:39

going to be a new opportunity

1:42

, a new start for you to get going

1:44

, for you to get traction and actually

1:46

meet that goal . And for some of you it

1:48

may be easier , right , for you , like

1:51

, for example , for me , it's a lot easier for

1:53

to accomplish a goal if it includes waking up in

1:55

the morning , doing anything and

1:58

everything earlier in the day

2:00

versus in the evening . So for

2:02

me , I am very aware that anything

2:04

that I'm pursuing , I have to

2:06

be able to do at

2:09

least 75% of the time earlier

2:11

in the day versus in the evening . And

2:14

it may be the opposite for you , right ? You may be thinking

2:16

well , I actually don't have any time in the morning

2:18

because I'm still in the military and I have

2:20

so many things to do even

2:23

before I start my day , so for me , it's

2:25

better in the evening , and so , for you

2:27

, it would be then , being aware that

2:29

most of the things that you're going to get done that

2:31

are details or simple

2:33

tasks that you need to do for

2:37

your goal , for you to achieve your goal happens

2:39

in the evening , and so , again , just becoming aware

2:41

of those little things that are

2:43

going to help you to continue to

2:46

not only get traction but be consistent

2:48

and continue to compound on

2:51

the actions that you're taking to help you reach

2:53

your goal , because that's the ultimate goal here

2:55

. In order for you to get the

2:57

result that you want , you have to take action

2:59

. What helps us take the action

3:01

that we need , how we feel and

3:04

how we feel is initiated

3:06

by our thinking , and I know that

3:08

it sounds very simple , but for the

3:10

most part , most of us , especially as

3:13

women , moms , significant

3:15

others we are constantly

3:18

thinking about 100 things at

3:20

the same time , or even thinking

3:22

about the 100 things at the same time and doing

3:25

three other things , multitasking

3:27

at the same time , which is crazy , because

3:29

that's just typically . A lot of men

3:31

do this as well , but for the most part

3:33

, women wear so many

3:35

hats at the same time , and

3:38

so what I want to offer you today is

3:40

to , just One , keep an open

3:42

mind on where you are with your

3:44

goal setting and , two

3:46

, how you're going to

3:48

take this information and start

3:50

applying it , because I promise you

3:52

, it's very , very helpful when it comes

3:55

to you beginning your

3:57

goals , even considering to write down

3:59

your goals and what you're

4:02

going to accomplish or want to accomplish

4:04

this year . Now , this

4:06

is more of a high level overview

4:08

, very high level , and I want

4:10

you to really take a moment to

4:13

write these down and

4:16

start thinking about it in your

4:18

own way , on how this is going to apply to

4:20

your goals . And I'm going to give you examples

4:22

based on what my goals are , or what my

4:24

goal has been and will continue

4:26

to be until I meet it , regardless of

4:28

the time frame , because that's another

4:30

reason that we sometimes we're

4:32

like what is going on . We're not aware that

4:35

the goal doesn't have to have

4:37

a deadline , especially if it's

4:39

like a personal goal that you're like

4:41

, okay , I'm not in a rush , or whatever

4:43

it may be , but now we're also going

4:45

to be discussing , like the examples

4:47

, especially if you're still in the military what

4:50

if you need to pass a PT test ? What if you

4:52

need to meet high end weight ? What if you

4:55

need to be able to be ready for

4:57

a promotion or a certain

4:59

test , certification that

5:02

you need , that requires you to be ready

5:04

by a certain date ? And so , whatever it may

5:06

be , I want to be able to

5:08

show you and for you to also see

5:10

it in a way where you

5:12

are now aware of when these things

5:14

are going to come up . Because here's the thing our mind

5:16

is always going to want to keep

5:18

us safe , and what does it do

5:20

? It reminds us of

5:23

what we're not doing right , of how

5:25

it all has happened , all

5:27

wrong before , and how many times you've

5:29

failed and how many times you said

5:31

you're going to do that and you haven't . And

5:33

so this is why it's very important

5:36

for us to become

5:38

aware of where

5:40

we are with our goal . Well

5:42

, first , what is our goal , where

5:44

we are with our goal , and then the gaps

5:47

that we need to fill in

5:49

order to get to our goal , and those

5:51

gaps are pretty much

5:53

the action , the small little things that you

5:55

need to do in order to get there

5:57

. And so here

5:59

is the first mistake that I don't

6:02

want you to get sucked

6:04

into , because , remember

6:06

, we want to stay focused on

6:08

the goalkeeper always , but also

6:10

on your goal , and so the

6:13

first mistake that we always

6:15

typically make is that we're in a rush

6:17

. We're always in a rush to

6:19

get to that goal . And you

6:22

may be thinking , well , no , I've given myself

6:24

three months or six months . But

6:26

here's what happens Our

6:28

mind every single day . When we

6:30

don't see any progress

6:32

or we may sometimes see a little bit

6:34

of progress we do some crazy

6:36

math in our head that most

6:39

of the times will include drama . And

6:41

then we're like see , it's day three and I

6:43

haven't lost a pound yet . I shouldn't have

6:45

stared at that ice cream or whatever

6:48

it may be . Or , you see , I

6:50

missed a day at the gym already . It's

6:52

, you know , day three out of five and I

6:54

missed one . I'm not going to be able to do this for 30

6:56

days straight , whatever it may be . And

6:58

so , again , because our mind , we're

7:01

like okay , it needs to happen , we need to see the

7:03

progress . It doesn't see

7:05

that our life is going to

7:07

be 50 , 50 . And this is what

7:09

I mean by 50 , 50 . 50%

7:12

of the time throughout our lives

7:14

, even if you have a goal or you don't have

7:16

a goal , if you're somebody that's like I don't really

7:19

write down goals or I don't

7:21

have many goals , it's completely

7:23

okay . There

7:25

will always be 50%

7:27

negative emotion and 50% positive

7:29

emotion throughout our lives . That's

7:32

just the way it's going to be . There

7:34

are going to be great days and there are going to be bad days

7:37

. There are going to be days that you're like I'm so happy

7:39

and the joy is there , and then there's

7:41

going to be days that you're super sad or

7:43

that you're just completely down or feeling

7:46

anxious , because that's just the way

7:48

our brains are wired . That's just

7:50

the way life is right

7:52

. God has given us the

7:55

ability and freedom of will to

7:57

do things , but here's the thing what

8:00

happens is that other things around us that

8:02

we cannot control will happen , and

8:04

so , no matter how well and how perfect and how

8:06

committed and how consistent we are , there

8:09

are going to be things that you have no control over

8:11

, and so when those things happen

8:13

in your mind you're like I'm in a rush

8:15

. You are going

8:18

to immediately want

8:20

to even just either

8:22

go into full , like I'm going to be stuck

8:24

and I'm not going to take action anymore because I

8:27

don't know what to do with my negative emotion , or

8:29

you can say okay , clearly

8:31

I'm really not up to go to the gym , or

8:34

clearly I know that

8:36

because I'm sad , I want to go

8:38

and drink or eat or

8:40

whatever it may be for you , when you aren't really

8:43

allowing and processing

8:45

that emotion . Whatever it's your go to Netflix

8:47

, hulu but you're able to

8:50

identify and acknowledge

8:52

that your mind is

8:54

just trying to avoid that and

8:57

is trying to get you faster

9:00

to your goal . Because of that

9:02

one thing , you're like , okay , now I

9:05

really need to figure out how

9:07

to , you know , get

9:10

out of the military quicker because of this one thing

9:12

. And so your mind is always going to offer you to

9:14

be in a rush when you don't need to be

9:16

in a rush . So how do we fix

9:18

this ? Or how do we go about not

9:21

getting sucked into this mistake ? We

9:24

have to acknowledge that our lives are going

9:26

to be 50-50 , no matter what Things are going

9:28

to happen . One of my kids

9:30

are not . They're not

9:32

going to feel good , or

9:35

their games are gonna get canceled or whatever

9:38

it may be right . And now I don't

9:40

have that time or flexibility

9:42

to be able to

9:44

do the thing that I thought I was gonna do or that I

9:46

had planned to do , because , remember

9:49

, every goal that we have requires a little

9:51

to do , or what I like to call it

9:53

, do goals that happen along the way , and

9:56

so there's always going to be that one thing that you

9:58

cannot control . But your mind's gonna be like , okay

10:00

, we need to hurry , why

10:02

aren't we there yet ? Why haven't

10:04

we lost that one pound this week ? Oh

10:06

, because maybe you didn't meal prep . You

10:08

didn't meal prep because your childhood was sick . You

10:10

didn't meal prep because you were in the field . You

10:13

didn't meal prep because you had a conference

10:15

to go to for work . You didn't meal

10:17

prep . Or you didn't go to the gym because

10:19

of X , y , z . But it's going

10:21

to happen , so don't get sucked in to be

10:24

in a rush for your goal . The

10:26

next one you go into

10:29

compare and despair with your progress . You're

10:31

like , okay , the girl at the gym already

10:34

lost five pounds , or my husband

10:36

already lost 10 pounds just by not

10:38

eating anything . And

10:41

here I am , I'm starving myself , working

10:43

out and I still haven't lost anything . What

10:45

happens , or the reason that we go into compare

10:48

and despair , is because we're not evaluating

10:50

our personal selves , we're not doing

10:52

a full what we call an after action review

10:54

, in the military and the army specifically , and

10:57

we don't acknowledge even the progress

11:00

that we've made . And so

11:02

what is the solution to this ? Or how do

11:04

we like not get sucked into this ? We

11:06

actually evaluate where we are . We

11:09

evaluate every single week

11:11

or every other day , whatever works

11:13

for you , whatever you need to do , or

11:15

maybe every pay period right , especially if you're like

11:17

trying to save or you're trying to get out of

11:19

debt . Whatever it may be , you're paying through as a credit card

11:21

. You want to evaluate every single

11:24

time that you do an actual

11:26

like budget review or you get paid

11:28

, whatever it may be for you , and so

11:30

being able to do

11:33

that it helps you to

11:35

not to go into compare and

11:37

despair and really just

11:40

be in a space where I

11:42

am looking at others in how they're

11:44

so successful . Already within the first month , you

11:47

saw on a social media post

11:49

that somebody just got

11:52

done paying their credit card . I mean , we

11:54

don't know what the amount was , maybe they'll

11:56

share it , maybe they don't . We don't know

11:58

what they had to save the year before , where they got

12:01

the funds from . We don't know any of that , but

12:03

we immediately because our brain is like , oh my gosh

12:05

, danger , you're not gonna do it . You see

12:07

, your friend from

12:09

high school just completely paid off a credit

12:11

card , or she just bought a home and got

12:14

a new card , whatever it is . We go

12:16

into compare and despair , and that

12:18

is mistake number two . We do not

12:20

want to go into compare

12:22

and despair . Instead , take the time

12:25

to evaluate to an

12:27

action after review . What worked , what's

12:29

working I'm in . What

12:32

you need to improve , what didn't work , right

12:34

? Okay , you know , this works

12:36

me , actually paying my credit card

12:38

in advance . What didn't

12:41

work ? I actually then use the credit

12:43

card again , you know , to pay this

12:45

unexpected bill . Okay , what am I going to do differently

12:47

? I am going to , um

12:50

, make a plan on what happens

12:52

when I have an unexpected bill or an

12:54

unexpected expense , whatever it may be

12:56

. Or what are you going to think

12:58

about having that credit there

13:00

? I mean that , um , that debt there . Maybe

13:02

it's just a thought about the debt , right ? Maybe there's

13:05

nothing wrong with the debt . Maybe it's you again

13:07

wanting to be in a rush to pay it off . You

13:09

know , is it ? What is it about that

13:11

credit card ? Is it the interest rate ? Is it just the number

13:13

that is giving you the anxiety ? Um

13:16

, or he may be getting out of the military . You're

13:18

just trying to be able to pay

13:20

off all your debt before you get out . What is it Right

13:22

, like ? What thoughts are coming up ? And so , again

13:24

, when you evaluate , you are able to

13:26

see that and able to manage your mind

13:29

around the compare

13:31

and despair , like , okay , don't focus on anybody

13:33

else , focus on you , focus on what you

13:35

can do , what you can control . And

13:38

then the third one is

13:40

accountability . And

13:42

I wanted to do this one as a fourth one

13:45

because it's Very

13:47

is just as important as the last one that

13:49

I was sharing , but then I figured that

13:51

the last one was just the all

13:53

and for all . Number four , I mean

13:55

the the strongest mistake , according

13:57

to what I you believe in what I've seen

14:00

in my past clients . But the third one is

14:02

accountability . The third

14:04

mistake that we make is that we don't take accountability

14:07

for our own actions . We don't

14:09

take accountability for our own goals

14:11

. We don't take accountability for our

14:13

excuses and that's just what

14:15

it is excuses or even just

14:17

um , the idea

14:20

that our goal or our

14:22

personal goals aren't as important as

14:24

Going to work , even though that

14:27

is always , you know

14:29

, important if you are happy

14:32

and Excited and

14:34

it's paying for your bills and it's paying for

14:36

your roof , it's , you know , helping you with

14:38

everything else . But here's the thing with

14:41

accountability . What

14:44

happens when we don't have

14:46

accountability ? We

14:48

then don't do it . And here's what happens

14:50

when it's Accountability

14:54

about ourselves , we typically

14:56

Want to just keep it

14:58

moving . We're like , oh , we're not that

15:00

important , it's okay , we'll get to it next

15:03

week , we'll get to it next month , we'll

15:05

get to it next quarter . Because

15:07

, especially as women , especially

15:10

as women , as moms , as wives listen

15:12

when I tell you this has

15:14

happened to me and it goes through my

15:16

mind more than I would

15:18

love and expected to Because

15:21

when we are

15:23

only filling

15:26

accountable or actually being accountable with ourselves

15:29

, there is a less chance

15:31

for us to do things . And you can try this

15:33

, try it out you are

15:35

more accountable if you tell

15:37

your friend to meet you at the gym every morning . Why

15:39

? Because you don't want to fail her , you don't

15:41

want to disappoint her , you don't want

15:43

to or for her to feel encouraged

15:46

or supported because you weren't there . Now

15:49

, if and I promise you , if you have

15:51

an accountability partner , you'll be there . A

15:53

battle buddy , that's why we call it an army you

15:55

will be there because you don't want to

15:58

fail them , you don't

16:00

want to discourage them , you don't want to

16:02

not please them right , and

16:05

so when you tell

16:07

yourself that

16:09

you're going to go and you are

16:11

going to have yourself as a accountability

16:14

partner or person support

16:16

, you're going to be like you know what I can go tomorrow

16:18

, it'll be fine , I'll be completely

16:20

fine , I'll still go to the gym for 45 minutes

16:23

, whatever it may be the same

16:25

thing for saving for

16:27

that . That's why there's financial advisors , that's why

16:29

there are different people

16:31

that will help you in every area of your life

16:33

and , for

16:35

example , as a coach . This is

16:37

where it's so important for you to understand

16:40

and know the difference . Okay

16:42

, am I going to trust myself

16:44

on this ? If the answer is no , then you need a

16:46

coach . It could be a business coach , it

16:48

could be a life coach , it could be any

16:51

type of coach investor

16:53

, coach Somebody's going to help you

16:55

actually take the step

16:57

to invest . Again

17:00

, a financial advisor , right , whatever it may be

17:02

for you . You need that accountability partner and

17:04

listen . If you need a coach and

17:07

you love everything that I've been sharing and these

17:10

topics , episodes have been resonated I

17:12

want to offer you to go to my website

17:15

and schedule a free 45 minute

17:17

consultation where you and I will

17:19

walk through every single step on

17:22

what you need to get done or why you're feeling stuck . Why

17:24

are those limiting beliefs keep coming up , and

17:27

I will help you in that session and , of course

17:29

, I will offer you more on how we can work

17:31

together . So that's number

17:34

three . If you're like I need

17:36

an accountability partner , I need a coach , I

17:38

need somebody to walk me and fill

17:40

these gaps or be able to

17:42

help me from where I am now to the next

17:44

level , to the next step , that's what I'm

17:46

here for . So go schedule a call

17:48

right now . And mistake

17:51

number four , the one that I said , that's the most

17:53

important , according to me , of course

17:55

, and what I've seen on

17:57

why my clients continue

18:00

to just stumble and continue

18:02

to not

18:04

reach or make progress or

18:06

sort of goals , it's because they're not committed

18:09

enough . It's commitment If

18:11

you don't commit , you are not

18:13

going to get there . And

18:16

this is what commitment means . It means for you

18:18

to do it no matter what , for you to get

18:20

there , no matter what , regardless of the timeframe

18:22

, regardless of all the obstacles and all the examples and

18:24

all the excuses that your brain wants

18:27

to offer you , regardless of all that you

18:29

are able to commit

18:32

, no matter what

18:34

. When you're able to do that , it

18:36

also means that you're willing to

18:39

fail and that , my friends

18:41

, is the part that gets everybody . They're like

18:43

I don't want to fail . Why should I commit

18:45

? I already know I'm not going to do it , I'm

18:47

not going to get to that goal . Right , it could

18:50

be a ridiculous or anyone

18:52

say ridiculous . Maybe it's a far fetched

18:55

goal . So , if you guys remember

18:57

, my goal for this year for

19:00

the podcast was 25,000 downloads

19:02

. I didn't get there . I

19:04

was at 17.2,000 downloads

19:06

for this year , but guess what ? It's

19:09

completely okay . It's still my goal this year

19:11

and it still continues . Right

19:14

, I continue to pursue that goal . I

19:17

really wanted it to be 25k , but

19:19

guess what ? There's some things that I

19:21

need to work on in order for me to get there

19:23

, to get to that reach , and that's

19:25

completely okay . I'm okay with that because

19:27

in this season I'm in a season of

19:30

not only being able to

19:32

be flexible with my time with

19:34

my little one , with my family , and

19:36

really making that a priority

19:38

. I rather continue

19:41

to compound on

19:43

the numbers on my podcast

19:46

and also continue to be there

19:48

for my family . I have

19:50

to give something , sacrifice

19:52

something , and it's okay , it's

19:55

completely okay . But here's the thing

19:57

I evaluated it . I know what I need to

19:59

work on . I know what I need

20:01

to do this year to

20:03

help me reach that goal , if

20:05

not , maybe surpass it , and that's really

20:07

the goal here to surpass the

20:09

25k this year by

20:12

the end of this year . It's definitely going to be way over

20:14

, I know it . The way the numbers are coming , some

20:17

rules are slow month for sure , but listen

20:19

, I have so many things planned . And , by the way

20:21

, before I forget because

20:23

I probably will there

20:25

will be a webinar that I'll be hosting

20:27

in my Facebook group . If you're not in

20:29

my Facebook group , come join . I

20:31

want to invite you to come to the Life

20:33

Coaching for Military and Veteran Women

20:36

on Facebook , and you can also scroll

20:38

to the bottom of this page

20:40

. All you have to do is go to winniratecom

20:42

4-200 and you'll see

20:44

how you can join and what

20:47

will happen . Now , every single month , I'll

20:49

be doing a webinar on the Facebook group

20:51

itself , but you can also join if

20:53

you're like Wendy . I have no Facebook . I

20:56

do not have any social media , whatever

20:58

it may be for you completely get it . All

21:00

you have to do is you

21:03

can send me a DM sorry , an

21:05

email , not a DM , because you don't have social media . You can send me

21:07

an email at hello at winniratecom

21:09

, or you can also go to my website , winniratecom

21:12

4-contact , and you'll be able to submit

21:14

your information

21:16

under your email so that I can send you or

21:19

include you in my email list for you to get

21:21

the webinar link and be able to

21:23

join us . And so , with that

21:25

, I am going to be sharing

21:27

every single month on how you

21:30

not only can continue to say , focus

21:32

on your goal , how to make time for your goal , but

21:35

every single month it's going to be something different , and

21:37

throughout the month , in the Facebook group , we

21:39

are going to be

21:42

having pretty much like a workshop

21:44

every other week to be able

21:46

to help

21:49

you individually and learn more

21:51

of where you're struggling , so

21:53

that it's more applicable and

21:55

you know something that you can do more . That's

21:57

more tactical for you specifically , and

22:00

so I'm super excited to be on there and

22:02

just so many great things coming up . And

22:05

with that , again , I want to invite you

22:07

to come join me , come

22:09

, let me know what your goals are , because that

22:11

is the goal here , and you guys , the goal is

22:14

to continue to pursue your goals , to continue

22:16

to feel encouraged , to continue to stay

22:18

motivated , and so , again , I just want to recap

22:20

really quickly on the four mistakes that we

22:23

don't want you to get into . Set them to for this

22:25

year , especially at the beginning of the year , and

22:27

for you to be aware of them . And the first

22:29

one is not

22:32

being a rush . Don't be in a rush and remember

22:34

that life is 50-50 , no matter what

22:36

. Two don't get sucked in to

22:38

compare and despair . Instead , evaluate . Evaluate

22:41

where you are , the progress that you've made , so

22:43

that you can continue to be consistent

22:45

and continue to make progress . Number

22:47

three accountability , accountability

22:50

, accountability , accountability . If

22:52

you are an individual woman that needs

22:54

to be accountable , you need a coach , you

22:56

need someone that is going to walk you

22:58

through every single step and help

23:00

you not only stay encouraged

23:03

, but also help you see and

23:05

be aware of what's happening in your mind

23:07

, why you're not taking action , why you're feeling

23:09

the way that you're feeling , and help you through

23:11

those steps . And number four you need

23:13

to stay committed . You need to commit

23:15

to that goal and you need

23:17

to be willing to fail . You need to

23:20

be willing to fail . It's going to be okay

23:22

. It's going to be okay , even if you

23:24

feel discouraged that you didn't meet it . I was

23:26

a little discouraged , a little disappointed , but guess

23:28

what ? I know that I'm committed and

23:30

I'm going to continue no matter what . So

23:32

be willing to fail . All right , ladies

23:34

, thank you so much for tuning in . I'm so excited

23:37

and listen , I want you to go follow me on Instagram

23:39

. I need you to go join my group so that you can get

23:41

all the details Facebook group

23:43

, all the details on the upcoming webinars

23:46

that I'll be hosting . All right , have a beautiful

23:48

rest of your week and , again , happy new year

23:50

. Talk to you later . Bye .