0:00

Hey sis, welcome to Beyond the Military Podcast,

0:02

where faith led military women overcome

0:04

burnout and create more balance. Just

0:06

imagine having enough time to focus

0:09

on your faith, family, and have more

0:11

fun while still serving as a woman leader.

0:13

In this podcast, you will walk away with

0:15

the tools to help you navigate the busy life

0:18

of a military woman, organize your mind,

0:20

overcome overwhelm, and create a

0:22

prioritization playbook and a balanced blueprint

0:25

for integrating faith, family, and career.

0:28

Yeses in that order. Hi,

0:30

I'm Wendi Wray woman of God, wife,

0:33

mama of two, army veteran, and certified

0:35

life coach. And I'm here to help you create

0:38

a life of meaning outside of the military,

0:40

a life of laughter, joy, and intentional

0:42

free time. If you are ready to

0:44

overcome burnout and create balance as a

0:46

faith led military woman, sis,

0:49

this podcast is for you. So loosen

0:51

up your laces and grab your coffee because it's time

0:53

to step into freedom and peace. Hello lady.

0:56

And welcome to episode 209.

0:58

I am so happy that you're here today.

1:00

I'm super excited to be

1:02

here with you behind the mic and to share with

1:04

you my personal struggles and personal

1:07

journey, and also share

1:09

with you what's coming up for the podcast

1:11

and also for beyond the military

1:13

coaching. And I'm just really

1:15

happy to share this with you and

1:18

hopes. That you

1:20

are encouraged and that you are

1:22

okay with starting over, because

1:24

that's truly how I feel. And

1:26

every area of my life, I truly feel

1:28

like I am starting over. I feel this

1:31

year is all about a new beginning.

1:33

A new way to do things and

1:36

a new way to do some of

1:38

the same things. And that's what I'll be sharing about

1:40

today. And in truly, it's just

1:42

a way for you to, or a

1:44

way for me to show you that no matter

1:47

what. Road you're on

1:49

what obstacles are coming your way. Life

1:53

is going to be hard. But

1:56

remember that when you

1:58

are focused and when

2:00

you're committed. Everything

2:03

can change. So by

2:06

that, I mean the way you show

2:08

up. The way you begin to start taking

2:10

action and also creating

2:13

different results. And

2:15

so, again, my hope for

2:17

you today, if you get anything out of this,

2:19

anything out of my story, my struggles

2:22

is that you feel encouraged

2:24

and determined to go out there and show

2:26

up. As the skillful

2:29

talented brave woman

2:31

that you are, because

2:33

it's so important for us to show up in that way,

2:36

but also to be able to share

2:39

our gifts, our talents with others in.

2:42

Ultimately, that's why we're here.

2:44

Right? Where that piece of the puzzle.

2:47

That is needed somewhere in the military,

2:49

outside of the military. As a mom,

2:52

as a wife. With friends.

2:54

There is someone today

2:56

in this moment that is.

2:59

Wanting your attention that needs

3:01

your attention. Not necessarily in

3:03

a selfish way for them, but they really

3:05

do need you because you have that

3:08

something that is going to help

3:10

them, or is even just going to simply serve

3:12

them for that moment. And so

3:14

I want you to feel encouraged after this

3:16

and. I know that sometimes we have tough,

3:18

tough times. Trust me. I know there

3:21

will be times that we don't want to show up.

3:23

There will be times where we're like, you know what? Forget

3:26

this. 2024 goal that I had,

3:28

or I set for myself. It was just even crazy

3:31

to consider or think that I can get

3:33

this done. I want you to just take a

3:35

moment. And consider

3:37

that it is possible no matter

3:39

what you're going through. And of course, if

3:41

you need to take a break like I did, if you need

3:43

to take a step back. And

3:46

just sit with where

3:48

you are and how you're feeling. That

3:50

is completely. Okay. I want

3:53

to offer you

3:55

and give you the permission that sometimes we think we

3:57

need to do so it's

4:00

okay for you to take a break. It's okay

4:02

for you. To pause where

4:04

you are too. Reevaluate

4:07

adjust and be able to take

4:09

a moment to either

4:11

pray about it, to meditate on

4:13

God's word, and really ask

4:15

him for help and guidance during this moment.

4:18

And even just shrank because that's really what I

4:20

had to do. But also

4:23

to be able to give yourself

4:25

grace. To give

4:27

yourself compassion for where

4:29

you are in this moment. And so again,

4:32

I want you to feel encouraged and I want to bring you along

4:34

with me. I really do. I want

4:36

you to feel determined. And

4:39

anything that you are

4:41

going through in this moment. Because

4:43

you would friend or

4:46

able to keep moving and

4:48

to keep moving forward. But sometimes

4:50

when you let it help, right. We need a little bit

4:52

of help. And we need

4:54

some times. A little push.

4:56

Trust me. I know. I have felt

4:59

that way. I know exactly

5:01

when you may be feeling. And so with that,

5:03

I want to kind of start off

5:05

on why I figured, you

5:07

know, this is a great opportunity for me to share with you all here

5:10

on the podcast. Because I have

5:12

challenged myself on LinkedIn.

5:14

To post every single day for the

5:16

next 30 days. And I started this a

5:19

week ago I started posting every day.

5:22

And now

5:24

I am all in I'm

5:26

encouraged him determined and

5:28

I'm fully committed on doing it for the 30

5:30

days. And when

5:33

I first started, I shared my story on

5:36

why I stopped posting

5:38

on LinkedIn. And also

5:40

what to expect for me in the next

5:42

couple of weeks. And so that's what I want to do

5:44

here on the podcast. But most

5:46

importantly, to encourage you on

5:49

where you can go within the next 30 days.

5:51

And so when this podcast, actually this episode

5:54

publishes, it will be the first Wednesday

5:57

of March. And so, we're

5:59

still at the very beginning of the month.

6:01

And this is the last month

6:03

of the first quarter. And so I want

6:06

to encourage you. To stay

6:08

focused. To say, focus on what

6:10

you want to accomplish

6:13

today this week, this

6:15

month. This quarter, this

6:17

year. Because it's so important

6:20

for us to focus on where

6:22

we want to go, but also

6:25

where we are now in order

6:27

for us to fill that gap. And

6:29

really to continue to ask ourselves, are

6:31

we still committed? To

6:34

this goal, are we still committed to this journey

6:37

and that's what I had to ask myself, because if you guys

6:39

remember. Back in 2022

6:42

hardest time of my life. Lost

6:45

my little sister, but I also

6:48

had my baby. And so.

6:51

It's been. I

6:54

have been in a place where

6:56

I've been. Grieving. And

6:59

also. Happy

7:03

for my new baby. So it's

7:05

been very challenging.

7:08

Too. Take

7:11

a moment to grieve, but

7:13

also to be grateful and appreciative. And

7:16

just simply feel joyful

7:18

for where I am now. And

7:21

where I am as a wife, as

7:23

a mom. In my career

7:25

with my podcast, with my coaching.

7:28

And when I tell you that it

7:30

was difficult for me to balance those emotions. And

7:33

maybe not even balance is a good word here, but

7:35

be able to allow a

7:38

negative in that positive. Happen

7:40

at the same time. And

7:43

like I say here, before I've said this before,

7:46

and I continue to say it. It's so important

7:48

for us to understand. And

7:50

to be aware of how we're feeling, because

7:53

that ultimately determines our actions.

7:56

And so for me, it took me a moment

7:58

to really. Pick myself

8:00

back up and say, okay, windy. You

8:03

know what to do. You know exactly

8:05

the tools that you have available to

8:08

you. To have

8:10

it work for you in your

8:12

way, in a way where

8:14

it's going to serve you

8:16

and other people. Right? My husband and

8:18

my kids. People that are work with.

8:21

And not to mention just how

8:23

I show up on this podcast, how I show up on different

8:25

platforms. And so for you.

8:28

You know, how does this apply to you? Maybe

8:32

this is, or you're in

8:34

a place where

8:36

you are now starting over,

8:39

you are maybe about,

8:41

are about to go into a transition. Maybe

8:45

you also lost someone. Or maybe

8:47

you just had a baby and this is

8:49

your first child. And you're like, okay, I'm start.

8:52

I feel like I'm starting all over. Because

8:54

I am a mom. In everything

8:57

that I used to do so easily

8:59

in, you know, just be able

9:01

to do anything at whatever time that

9:03

you needed to do and just show up. You

9:06

could, and now you can't, because now you're tired. You

9:08

have probably just sleepless

9:10

nights. Or maybe even

9:12

you just don't have the energy to focus

9:15

on anything else because you want to only

9:17

focus on your child and I completely get it. I

9:19

kind of felt like that's where I was a couple months ago. And

9:21

I'm like, no, I don't want to focus on anything else

9:23

other than my child. And my

9:25

career. That's all I want to do. I don't want to

9:27

focus on and nothing else, no

9:30

extra activities, no extra anything.

9:32

And so for you when you're starting

9:35

over where you are. Have

9:37

you considered that maybe

9:40

you just need to take a break.

9:43

And take a moment and

9:45

see where you are with everything that you

9:47

have going on. Right. It could be. Being

9:50

an active in the military. It could be

9:52

you active in the military and with the new

9:54

baby and, or you just got

9:56

married. Or maybe you're going

9:58

through separation, maybe going through a divorce.

10:01

Maybe you are now dating.

10:03

You just started dating. Whatever

10:06

that may be for you. You started a new career.

10:08

You maybe just started a new job. You maybe

10:10

started you're pivoting your career.

10:12

Now you're going into a whole, a whole different

10:14

program within your studies.

10:17

Maybe you're starting a whole new other military

10:19

occupation, whatever it is for you. I

10:22

want you to take a moment and really ask

10:24

yourself. Am I committed.

10:28

To starting to continue where

10:30

I'm starting now. And

10:32

my committing. To

10:35

continue where I'm starting

10:37

now. And if the answer is yes.

10:40

Then great for you because.

10:44

Today. I want you to take a moment

10:47

and recommit, meaning that no matter

10:49

what you are going to

10:51

go all in, and I've talked about this before

10:53

in episode 200, at the very beginning of

10:55

the year episode, 200, you can go to the show notes

10:57

and find it there as well. Where

11:00

it talked about The three mistakes that

11:02

we make. When beginning

11:04

a new goal. And so

11:06

for you, if you are

11:09

committing, that means that you're going online and you're

11:11

willing to fail. And that's

11:13

exactly what I have to ask

11:15

myself at the beginning of this

11:17

year, really the end of last year. Cause I'm like, okay,

11:19

I really need to decide

11:21

today and show

11:23

up. As

11:26

much as possible as

11:28

I can in order for

11:30

me. To not

11:32

only show up for others, but also

11:35

be the coach that I want to be

11:37

be the wife, the mom.

11:39

That I want to continue

11:42

to be and show up as. And

11:44

so for me, I have to ask myself that question. And

11:47

it was hard because I didn't answer it right away. I'll be completely

11:49

honest. I'm like, I don't know. Maybe I should. You

11:52

know, give myself another quarter. Maybe

11:54

I should just tone it down a little bit.

11:57

Which is okay. But

11:59

then there was this moment where

12:01

I listened to one of my episodes.

12:04

It was a MVP, most valuable podcast

12:07

episode. And it

12:09

was towards the end of December. Which

12:12

I can give you the title here. And

12:15

it's episode. 199.

12:19

How to stay committed. On

12:21

the goal that you have separate for yourself? No

12:23

matter what, I listened to that and

12:26

I don't like listening to my episodes in the car.

12:28

Just because I just feel like it's weird

12:31

for me to listen to my own episode. I

12:33

sometimes will listen to it from my phone

12:35

on, in my office, but I didn't

12:37

do it in the car. And so that day it happened

12:39

that I was listening to a podcast. And then mine

12:41

was right after. And

12:44

I just started. I'm like, you know what, I'm going to listen to it. And I,

12:46

I think that I just needed

12:48

that extra push for that moment. And

12:50

so I listened to the podcast. And

12:53

I was like, you know what, I'm going to go online. Like,

12:55

I. I literally just felt encouraged. And

12:58

I felt determined. That

13:01

one. It was

13:03

okay for me to start all over. And so that's

13:05

where I want you to start. It's okay

13:07

for you to start all over. And

13:09

so if you're committed in your

13:11

own lane and you're like, you know what, I'm

13:13

going for it. I'm willing to

13:16

move forward from where I'm

13:18

at. Then

13:20

I want you to begin there. The answer is

13:22

yes. Then you need to

13:24

be okay with

13:27

where you are. In

13:30

order to get to the next phase. And

13:32

this is why. For me, it was

13:34

first very difficult to even

13:37

say it out loud that I was

13:39

going to continue to coach that

13:41

I was going to continue to.

13:43

Build my program. That I had

13:46

built back in 2021.

13:49

And really go all

13:51

in with it. It was very difficult

13:53

at first. But because

13:55

there were so many changes. So

13:58

many things happening, not only through social

14:00

media, but also where

14:02

we are today in

14:04

this world. In 2024,

14:07

I was a little nervous.

14:10

And the reason why I was a little nervous was because

14:13

I immediately went to what are they

14:15

going to think? Of me

14:17

because I took a break, but then

14:20

again, through prayer and just

14:22

the holy spirit working. I

14:24

was like, wait a minute. I

14:27

need to take a moment.

14:30

And really asked myself why I

14:32

want to do this. Am I doing it

14:34

because I want to prove something or am I doing

14:37

it? Because I really want to serve

14:39

military woman. I really want

14:41

to serve women veterans. And the answer

14:43

is yes. I want to continue to serve.

14:47

In any way that I can. That

14:49

I actually can with the

14:51

bandwidth that I have, meaning with

14:53

the time that I have. And I

14:55

want to give back in

14:58

a way where more

15:00

women are doing things outside

15:02

of the military. Than ever before

15:05

more women are brave enough

15:07

to do the thing that they want

15:09

to do, even while they're

15:11

in the service or while they're in a different career.

15:15

And that's what I want to continue

15:17

to encourage women to do. So

15:19

if you're someone that you're like, you know what? I always wanted

15:22

to start this hobby. I wanted to start this degree.

15:24

I want this certification or

15:26

this license. But I just don't have the time

15:29

or I'm exhausted or I'm too old.

15:31

I've heard that before, too. It's you know,

15:33

that time has passed. No,

15:35

it has not, you are

15:37

still able to do it. If

15:40

you truly want to commit.

15:43

And dedicate your time

15:45

to it. One lady actually

15:47

just mentioned it to me on

15:49

Instagram. But she wanted

15:52

to start dancing that she just wants

15:55

to sign up for class and dance and I'm like, okay,

15:57

then just do it. She's like, I don't have time.

15:59

No, you do have time. You just don't want

16:01

to. I go out there and embarrass

16:03

yourself, or even consider

16:07

that you could. Do

16:09

great. And I think that for most

16:11

of us, that's what happens. We're like, no,

16:13

that's not for me. I don't think I could Excel in that

16:15

or who do I think I am to continue

16:18

to do that. I am 40 years

16:20

old. I shouldn't be out there taking

16:22

new classes. I'm too old to learn

16:25

whatever that may look like for you.

16:27

For me, it's like, oh, well I have too much going

16:29

on. And I already took

16:31

like a two year break. So maybe I should

16:33

just sit down somewhere. And

16:36

the answer is no. I know that in

16:38

my heart. I will continue to podcast.

16:40

But at the same time, I also know when my heart,

16:43

that in order for me to continue

16:45

to podcast and do this, I

16:48

need to be able to continue

16:50

to serve. Women. Through

16:53

coaching. That is the only way

16:56

I can continue to sit behind

16:58

this mic, stand behind this mic and

17:00

share with you the tools that are working.

17:03

And the impact that

17:05

coaching has

17:08

on our mental and emotional

17:10

health. And that's why I also wanted

17:13

to share this because if it wasn't for God

17:15

and his word and coaching,

17:18

I promise you, I would not be.

17:21

Where I am right now in a way

17:23

where I am conscious and aware.

17:26

And I am not blaming life.

17:28

I'm not blaming the circumstance. I'm not

17:30

blaming someone else. I'm

17:32

taking full responsibility of how I'm feeling.

17:35

I'm taking full responsibility of where I

17:37

am in this moment.

17:40

Because if it wasn't for that, I would

17:42

be resentful. I would be

17:44

really upset and angry in a

17:46

way where I can understand

17:49

what's happening in my mind. This

17:51

is how I'm feeling, because I'm thinking

17:53

this about this situation. I

17:56

can't blame my kids because I don't have time.

17:58

I can't blame my career. I

18:00

can't blame my husband. I

18:02

can't blame. Everything

18:04

that's happening to me right now because

18:07

I'm aware of

18:09

what is happening in my head.

18:12

And so again, I want to encourage you

18:14

to start where you are.

18:17

Be okay with starting on over. Also

18:20

be open to how

18:23

coaching can make an impact in

18:25

your life. And for that reason

18:27

I want to invite five women

18:30

that are going to

18:32

commit to their growth.

18:34

Five women that are ready to

18:37

take their life or their career

18:39

to the next level. Coaching will

18:41

not only help you see where

18:43

you're struggling mentally and emotionally,

18:46

but will also help you begin

18:48

to take action. It will also help

18:50

you begin to see the results that

18:52

you've been wanting to create. And

18:55

if you think that this is for you.

18:57

If you fall under that category of being

19:00

committed to starting

19:02

all over, regardless of where you are. I committed

19:04

to your growth. In

19:06

your life or career and you are

19:09

willing to be coached

19:11

by me. This

19:14

will begin the week of April 1st,

19:16

all the way through the week

19:18

of May 6th, six weeks,

19:20

you have to be committed to six weeks. Of

19:23

work. Six weeks.

19:26

Of accountability, six

19:28

weeks of growth. And

19:30

so all you have to do, if you're like, this is for me, I'm

19:33

interested in, I want to be able

19:35

to grow then this is for you. All you

19:38

have to do is go to wendiwray.com/group

19:42

there's going to be a form. Put your information

19:44

on there. And that form is going to help me

19:47

understand where you are and understand

19:49

if we're a good match

19:51

for us to work together. So, again, this is

19:53

only for five women and I'm

19:55

sharing this on my Facebook

19:58

group first. So

20:00

if you're not on there, I want you to

20:02

come join us. And so again,

20:04

if you're someone that is

20:06

feeling stuck, you're like, I have no

20:08

idea. Where I'm going to go with my military

20:10

career. I have no idea. What

20:13

I'm going to do with my transition. I have no idea.

20:16

How I'm going to do things because I'm so unorganized.

20:19

I don't have a routine. I'm always

20:21

procrastinating. I feel exhausted.

20:24

I'm burnt out in. This is for you. I

20:26

want you to come join me and other women

20:29

that are committed. Like

20:31

you are. For the next six

20:34

weeks so that you can start seeing

20:37

yourself grow and ultimately

20:39

this is a goal. Emotional

20:42

wealth. And listen.

20:45

If you're like, I'm ready to start now.

20:47

I want to go all in. I

20:49

want you to go there right now,

20:52

wendiwray.com/group

20:55

so that you can get signed up and listen,

20:57

if you know, someone that could

21:00

use this episode to feel empowered

21:03

and encouraged. I want you

21:05

to share this episode with them. Because

21:07

here's the thing. I want more

21:09

women to keep showing

21:11

up for who they are,

21:14

because there have so much value

21:16

to offer. How do we continue

21:18

to grow? If

21:21

we are not setting or spending any

21:23

time in doing so and

21:25

having accountability with someone else. So

21:27

again, if you get anything out of

21:29

this episode, I want you to feel

21:32

encouraged and determined. To

21:34

start all over. And that's

21:36

what I want to challenge you with today.

21:39

I want you to go out there and show up

21:41

as confident as possible. I want you

21:43

to go out there and show up

21:45

in a way where starting

21:48

all over. Is

21:50

a great thing. Because when I tell

21:52

you starting all over as a mom,

21:54

it's tough. It's really tough.

21:57

Especially after eight years. I

21:59

struggled the first couple of months, but now

22:01

it's getting better and I'm so grateful and

22:03

so blessed. To be able to have

22:05

this little one, show me once again,

22:08

all the things I need to improve in all

22:10

the beautiful things that come with being a mom.

22:12

I'm in love with her. I'm in love with my kids.

22:15

I'm in love with my husband. I'm in love with my job.

22:17

I'm in love with this podcast. I'm in love with everything

22:20

that I'm doing. Because I

22:22

am 100% in and

22:24

starting all over. I'm okay

22:27

with it being a new I'm

22:29

okay. With falling

22:31

every now and then not having it 100%.

22:34

Perfect. And that's exactly

22:37

what I want to offer you today. It's

22:39

okay. If you're starting all over as a mom, if you

22:41

have that gap, like I did. It's okay. If you're starting

22:43

a new career. Listen, it's

22:45

the most beautiful thing to start a career.

22:48

I did it seven years ago and I would never,

22:50

ever do it any in a different way. And

22:53

I feel like I'm doing it now, right. With coaching with this

22:55

podcast. I would not change

22:57

one thing because it's such a beautiful

22:59

place to be when you have an open

23:02

mind and you're willing to take the risk

23:04

because I know that I'm

23:06

going to show up. As myself.

23:09

It's okay. If you're starting a new relationship.

23:12

It's okay. If you're

23:14

starting a new hobby, regardless

23:16

of what age you are, it's completely.

23:18

Okay. I want you to be

23:20

okay with starting over and being

23:22

okay to fall along the way

23:25

to fail along the way, because it

23:27

will happen. Trust me, it will happen.

23:29

Me taking a two year gap with LinkedIn.

23:33

Was not the best thing,

23:35

but guess why it's completely okay.

23:37

I am going to continue.

23:40

To not only build my community, my network,

23:42

but I will continue to connect with other

23:44

humans. That I need to

23:46

connect with. To help

23:48

them to guide them, to empower

23:51

them. That's what it's all about in

23:53

my hopes for you is to do the same thing,

23:55

connect with people that are going

23:57

to help you grow. Connect

24:00

at a deeper level with your loved ones.

24:03

That's what I'm doing. I'm connecting with them in a different

24:05

way that I never thought before with

24:08

my oldest, with my middle one and

24:10

with my little one. It's such

24:12

a beautiful place to be. Trust

24:15

me, you are the piece of the

24:17

puzzle that someone needs today. So

24:19

I encourage you and I empower you to go

24:21

out there and show up. As

24:24

who you are as who God has

24:26

given you the authority to be. All

24:28

right, ladies, have a beautiful rest of your day. And

24:30

I hope. To see you soon. Join

24:33

me in wendiwray.com/group

24:37

the founders group for beyond

24:39

the military coaching. I hope to see you there.

24:42

Hey lady, if this podcast helped you, challenged

24:44

you, or inspired you in some way, please

24:47

leave me a written review for the show on Apple Podcasts

24:49

and share it with another military sister. Helping

24:52

you integrate balance, prioritization,

24:54

and growth in your relationship with God is

24:56

my ultimate calling. I'm so blessed that

24:58

you are here, and please join us

25:00

in the faith led military women community

25:03

on Facebook at bit.ly/beyondthemilitarygrp

25:08

Again, it is. bit.ly/beyondthemilitarygrp

25:12

all right. Talk to you soon. Bye