So I think I've already created my my grandiose notion, which, which has to do with the singer versity, which is like, if we start moving in certain ways and sharing meaning, then it could have an effect. So yeah, there's something about that. And I'm glad that I created that bit, even though it might not come into play. And now it's more like, well, what am I meant to do? What am I allowed to do? I really, like do I still want to exist? Why am I still here. So many different things. And that's why I want to try to talk to myself, it's, I think, at the very least, it is helpful for survival. I need to continue to survive, we're all trying to survive, and maybe thrive. And I really don't know, if I'm meant to thrive, or if I will. And in another way, I've already actualized myself when I was in California, like I lived, kind of a dream of, you know, being with someone being happy. Having a lot of physical contact and, and fun, and, you know, sunshine and seeing Celine Dion, and then it just all drops out. And I'm back at this whole feeling of, I really don't have that many friends. And so this could be a way of, I need to read befriend myself, I really do. And that's I guess, what I'm going to attempt to do is be friend by myself again. And hopefully, it would be nice if I could make something practical for somebody like to help. I don't know if I will, because part of the trouble is, I don't have a very good memory.

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