Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode 35: A Birth Mother's Heart

Adoption choices are difficult, there is no other way to explain this.  Choosing to carry a baby for nine months and place that baby with another family may seem unimaginable.  However, to that pregnant woman, she has stories, secrets and dreams that people may not be aware of.  She may not be in the same financial position, in a safe relationship, have family support or even available resources.  She may not have a place to call “home”, know where her next meal is coming from, or have the ability to even seek medical care for herself.  An adoption choice is a deeply personal one and should remain a personal one, it’s an incredibly respectable choice that a woman has had since the biblical times.  A woman who has chosen adoption has chosen life, but is selflessly choosing to allow another to parent.  

Grief is not something that only occurs after a baby is placed for adoption, but actually begins the moment an adoption decision is made.  Another misconception is that because a birth mother is experiencing grief she is wavering on her adoption choice.  Grief is very normal and is often a stage in the process of adoption, the birth mother is allowing herself to let go of her own dream to secure a different dream for her child.  

The heart of a birth mother is like no other; it’s loving another human enough to put aside her own wants and needs to provide a life for her child.  This birth mother huge heart is selflessly giving the gift of life to another woman, man, family who may not be able to conceive their own child.  A birth mother will always remain a mother to the child she places for adoption, the love she has for her child never dies or is replaced, it just continues to grow.