0:04

Double Elvis. Blood

0:07

on the Tracks is a production of I Heart Radio

0:10

and Double Elvis. Brian

0:12

Wilson was a musical genius and one

0:14

of the greatest songwriters of all time. He

0:17

caught melodies like they were waves. He

0:19

bottled good vibrations like no one

0:21

else, and he picked up bad vibrations

0:24

too. He broke down, he

0:26

tripped hard. He didn't just hear

0:28

music, he heard voices. He

0:31

tried to lose those voices by making a teenage

0:33

symphony to God called Smile. But

0:36

somewhere along the way, Brian

0:38

Wilson lost his mind instead. This

0:42

is his story.

0:48

Hello, this is Rhonda Masson again.

0:50

I'm still compiling these Brian Wilson tapes,

0:53

and the more I listened, the more varied

0:55

these tapes seemed to be. There are

0:57

so many recordings here. I mean,

0:59

here is one that's just labeled vegetables. It

1:09

goes on for ages like that. But

1:12

this is what I really wanted to show you. I've

1:14

just stumbled across something pretty incredible.

1:17

It was just labeled with the doodle of the sun. From

1:20

what I can hear, it's just one session,

1:22

but it seems to be around ninety

1:24

hours of tape. I

1:27

haven't got through it all yet as it's so you

1:29

know long, but it looks

1:31

to be all of the parts of the Beach Boys

1:33

classic Good Vibrations. Let

1:35

me play the bit I've just found. This is

1:37

from in between some takes. Sorry

1:47

for the pause, everyone, I just need to make

1:49

sure that this room is right. It has

1:52

to be right. The vibrations need

1:54

to be perfect. Okay, listen,

1:57

listen with me. Do

1:59

you hear that? God, this

2:02

whole thing isn't right. This place is

2:04

tainted? Can anyone else

2:06

feel that? Wait?

2:10

No, no, this won't work. I'm

2:12

canceling the session. I'm sorry

2:14

everyone, pack up. This isn't right.

2:16

The vibrations aren't They aren't

2:19

right. If the vibrations aren't

2:21

right, we can't get the music. And if we can't get

2:23

the music, we'll just put it. We'll

2:25

just put with blood on the tracks. Chapter

2:48

two, Brian

2:50

Wilson is seeing vibrations

3:06

one oh five point four b r I a

3:08

n FM. Good morning, the

3:10

sun is rising on another day and we're feeling

3:13

good, good good. Let's stay

3:15

healthy out there today. Don't forget to eat

3:17

your vegetables and catch those rays. There's

3:20

just one remember

3:22

please, and if you You'll

3:26

be just fine. That

3:31

little arrangement we had where the Beach Boys toured

3:33

and I stayed behind the studio was really paying

3:35

off. We were making hits. The

3:38

music sounded great, but it was about to get a

3:40

whole lot better. We were about to

3:42

release our best album to date. We

3:44

began making Pet Sounds in the middle of and

3:48

by February sixty six, we were pretty much

3:50

done with the music. Geez.

3:53

I loved making those songs. The

3:55

studio had become a place where I felt safe,

3:58

happy, even down know, I

4:01

didn't feel like that outside the studio. While

4:04

I was making those songs. The guy who

4:06

had that whatever it was, that that breakdown

4:09

on the plane, he felt like he was a

4:11

completely different person. It was

4:13

like I didn't even know him. One

4:15

time, we were cutting a track called

4:18

That's Not Me, and one of the musicians,

4:20

a guy called Steve, turned to me and said, you're

4:23

nothing like I thought you would be. I

4:25

asked him what he meant. He said he thought I might

4:27

be a bit more out there. That

4:31

kind of exchange hasn't really stopped over

4:33

the years. People think of me as

4:35

some sort of volatile or unstable person,

4:37

but that's not really true, there's just some uneven

4:40

parts of my brain that can get the better of me. But

4:45

when I was in the studio recording those tracks,

4:47

I really felt at ease. The serene

4:50

studio atmosphere would eventually be shattered.

4:52

Of course, everything delicate

4:55

in this world manages to get crushed one way or another.

4:57

The vibrations need to be perfect. Okay,

5:00

Yeah. When the band returned

5:02

for touring, things didn't go so

5:04

well. Mike, al

5:07

Carl, and Dennis had just played Asia. They

5:10

were all in good spirits, but it was kind

5:12

of awkward having them come back into this environment

5:14

where I had been in charge for so long. We

5:17

said about recording some of the vocals, and it

5:19

was going fine at first, but we hit

5:21

a roadblock when it came to the song. I know

5:23

there's an answer. Mike Love

5:25

didn't like the lyrics. He read

5:27

them through once and then threw the paper

5:29

down. I

5:32

thought he was mad because I've been working with other

5:34

people on the words for the songs. I

5:37

don't know if you know, but I enlisted Tony

5:39

Asher, who worked in advertising. He

5:42

joined me in writing this song, as

5:44

did our road manager Terry Satchin. But

5:47

that's not what Mike was annoyed about at

5:49

least he said it wasn't He was

5:51

actually mad about the content of the lyrics.

5:54

Do you hear that? You

5:57

see? The song was originally titled

5:59

hang On to Your Ego, and well

6:02

it was about taking LSD. Mike

6:05

didn't like that, not one bit. What

6:07

the funk are these words? He yelled. I

6:10

was just about to reply, but he launched

6:12

into his rant. He screamed that every

6:15

night on tour they see audiences go wild

6:17

for the normal beach boy material, and

6:19

then if we change, the fans will abandon

6:22

us. This whole thing isn't right.

6:25

I told him it was just a few different words. It's

6:28

the words, the music, everything,

6:30

He replied. Someone told me you were

6:32

recording dogs in here the other day.

6:34

Dogs we don't funk

6:36

with the formula? Is that really how

6:38

you want to make a hit record? I

6:41

told him I didn't care, and then I

6:43

don't know why, but I just went for him.

6:46

I guess I was frustrated because I had poured

6:48

my heart into these songs. Maybe

6:51

there's another problem here, I said, just

6:53

loud enough for Mike to hear. Can anyone else

6:56

feel that? I

6:58

watched this puzzled look drip to cross his face

7:00

as my brothers and Al became even more uncomfortable.

7:04

Aren't right? I

7:06

tried to sound off hand, but I

7:09

knew my next comment would land hard. I

7:12

said, I don't think you guys can hack

7:14

this. You're not cut out for this. Mike

7:17

erupted and leapt towards me. Carl

7:20

grabbed him. Fuck you, He shouted,

7:23

We're out here every single day playing to

7:25

our fans and you're in here doing god knows

7:28

what with fucking dogs and l s D. These

7:31

are the songs. I said, take them or

7:33

leave them.

7:36

We didn't speak for the rest of the session. Carl

7:39

eventually calmed Mike down, but he was still

7:41

angry. The last thing he said to me

7:44

that day was I've got a title for the album,

7:46

Brian's Ego Music. How does

7:48

that sound. Eventually

7:50

we got the track down and it turned out pretty good,

7:53

even with the lyrics altered from the original.

7:56

Maybe maybe tension and pressure has

7:58

its place in creativity. Years

8:00

later, Mike would say he liked the music,

8:03

but he didn't feel it was the right sound for the band

8:05

at the time, which is fair enough. We'll

8:08

have to agree to disagree. Mike's

8:10

not stupid. You know, he was

8:12

right about one thing. Drugs. Drugs

8:16

are at the center of these songs, in fact,

8:18

for right or wrong, or at the center of my story.

8:21

And it all started with one trip that changed

8:23

everything. It's

8:54

so vast in here, it's

8:56

so vast. I

8:59

guess you're wondering how my brain got like this. Man,

9:02

That was a long time ago. Now things

9:05

got a little bigger in here. When I smoked grass

9:07

and listened to the Beatles album

9:10

Rubber Soul Norwegian

9:12

would Michelle Man.

9:15

The songs blew my mind. They literally

9:17

took my mind away.

9:21

I felt so competitive in that moment. I

9:23

thought, God, I want to do something good

9:25

like that. You know. I felt like music

9:27

could be more than it was. I felt

9:30

like I could be more than I was. I

9:32

just needed some inspiration. The

9:34

grass and Rubber Soul gave me a good idea.

9:36

But the real change that came later. That

9:39

happened the first time I took acid. My

9:41

life change forever. Lauren

9:43

Daro, a talent agent I knew, introduced me

9:45

to acid. Everyone was doing it,

9:48

and I was interested to see what it could do for me,

9:50

how it could help me. I still

9:52

remember taking the acid and putting it on my tongue.

9:55

It was like my life had been a black and white

9:57

movie and now everything was in technicolor. It

10:00

felt so vivid and crisp, like I'd been

10:02

seeing the world in a blur this whole time. I

10:05

remember instantly feeling thirsty and going

10:07

to get a glass of water. After

10:10

I poured it, I found myself just staring at

10:12

it. It looked like the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

10:14

The way the light caught it, the way it moved

10:17

in the glass just incredible.

10:20

I brought it to my mouth and tasted water

10:22

for the first time. High God,

10:25

it tasted so fresh. I

10:27

felt like it was my first drink of water ever, water

10:31

water water. I

10:35

gulped it down and then immediately had another

10:37

glass water water

10:40

bottom. It

10:43

was like it had fallen from heaven, like

10:45

I've been in the desert for years, or dried it out,

10:47

and someone had dumped the Pacific Ocean on my

10:49

head. As I was drinking, something

10:51

else caught my eye. It was the strangest

10:53

thing in the air before me. I saw

10:56

staffs and notes fly by, actual

10:58

musical notation and just

11:01

hanging there interrupt

11:03

your scheduled programming. But this just is

11:06

the sky's orange black

11:08

and the grass of light have a break day.

11:10

Now I

11:12

was floating. I felt great,

11:16

But then it all changed. There was

11:18

this rising feeling of anxiety.

11:20

It had been there since the start, but I hadn't

11:22

noticed it until the walls began to move. It

11:25

was like they were this uh. They were huge

11:27

all of a sudden, like everything was getting bigger

11:29

and I was getting smaller. I was suffocating

11:32

under the pressure of the room. The vibrations

11:34

aren't there. I

11:37

ran into my bedroom and put my head under the

11:39

pillow. I don't know why, but I kept

11:41

thinking of my mom and dad, then just

11:44

my dad. No. I

11:48

closed my eyes and saw myself

11:50

as a younger person, like everything was

11:52

going backwards faster and faster

11:54

than I was getting younger and younger. Suddenly

11:57

I was just a baby sitting there in a diaper,

12:00

small little, fragile baby. And

12:02

then I was in the womb, and then I

12:04

was an egg, and then I

12:06

was gone, just

12:09

nothing. I didn't exist, I

12:11

was no longer there. It wasn't

12:13

sad. I just didn't exist. I

12:16

thought of how strange that was, How

12:19

you couldn't be sad about being gone if you'd

12:21

never existed in the first place. But

12:23

at the same time I was there, I

12:26

was thinking all of these things, so

12:28

I existed in some form. I

12:30

couldn't get my head around it. I felt separate

12:32

from myself, like I had a subjective

12:35

sense of my life. I

12:37

didn't know it then, but I clung onto

12:39

that idea and it found itself

12:41

in the song I Know there's an answer. That's

12:45

what the whole trip was like. Scary

12:47

but compelling. I experienced

12:49

so much in a short amount of time. I

12:52

felt like I had seen the entire universe in a matter

12:54

of hours. Sponsor

12:59

from reality? Do you have to

13:01

face the real world?

13:04

I want to feel closer to God. Where

13:07

what you need is acid?

13:10

Acid, which is not illegal yet

13:12

anyway, so it must be doctor recommended.

13:15

It's the eper only way to escape the day

13:17

troubling upbringing acid, pressuring

13:20

your professional life, ascid problems

13:22

at home with your wife. Acid

13:26

it's the only way to escape the day.

13:28

Acid make our hallucinations like being on flyveryliving

13:30

your birth and non existence. It also could result in a

13:32

flashback. You're not consult your doctor. Oh

13:36

man, sorry, I drifted

13:38

off there Where was I? Oh?

13:41

Yeah? Later and still tripping

13:43

I stumbled around until I found my way

13:45

back into the living room. Time was

13:47

meaningless. I saw my piano, so I

13:49

sat on the bench and started to play. Played

13:52

a B, than a in F sharp,

13:55

than a G sharp, before going back to F

13:57

sharp. I played all those notes

13:59

again in the in and again for maybe an

14:01

hour. I

14:04

just went round and round and round with it. I

14:06

must have fallen asleep at the piano, because when

14:09

I woke up, a whole day had passed.

14:11

I still felt a little dizzy, and everything

14:13

looked a little bright, but I knew I was coming

14:16

back down to earth. I

14:18

sipped the same glass of water from before,

14:21

but it didn't taste like it did before. I

14:23

figured I was finally back to normal. But

14:26

that's the funny thing with drugs. You're never

14:28

sure when they're done with you. Things

14:30

were far from being back to normal. In fact,

14:33

things were about to change forever. Can anyone

14:35

else feel that? At

14:37

the piano I started to play something straight

14:39

away. My hand was possessed,

14:42

like it had been taken over by God or something.

14:45

More likely, it was the muscle memory

14:47

from the trip. I started

14:49

playing those same notes from before again,

14:52

to B, the F sharp, the G sharp.

14:56

I then started mumbling over it. All

14:58

of a sudden, I saw the melody. I

15:01

didn't hear it, I actually saw it just

15:03

hovering over the keys, suspended in mid

15:05

air. I grabbed it, but

15:08

not with my hands, but with my mind, and

15:10

I started singing it as loud as I could. Thirty

15:14

minutes later and I had the song that

15:16

would go on to be California Girls done

15:19

and dusted in half an hour. That's

15:22

the moment I realized how powerful LSD could

15:24

be. But you know, stuff

15:27

like that, songs like California Girls,

15:30

you have to pay for it. The universe

15:32

or God or whoever just doesn't

15:35

give you stuff like that on a plate. You have

15:37

to pay for it. And

15:39

I wasn't an exception. Just

15:41

a week after that first trip, the

15:44

voices began to speak inside my head.

15:47

Hello, Brian, your father, and

15:52

they'd never ever leave. We'll

15:59

be right back after this. We

16:01

were were. There's

16:09

things we can't see, things

16:12

will never see, things

16:14

we shouldn't see. Vibrations,

16:19

Vibrations are everywhere. Ignore

16:21

them at your peril. Vibrations need to

16:23

be perfect. Okay, they

16:27

scare me because they're moving around us,

16:29

dictating how things are all

16:31

without us being able to see them? Can anyone

16:34

else feel that? When

16:36

I wrote good Vibrations, I was

16:38

thinking about how people sense instinctively

16:40

if something is good news or bad news. You

16:43

know, like when the telephone rings.

16:45

Sometimes you just know what type of news

16:47

is waiting for you at the other end. We

16:50

can sense those vibrations, but we often aren't

16:52

open to them.

16:55

This idea first came to me a long time ago, back

16:57

when I was just a child. I

16:59

was walking with my mother near our house. Across

17:02

the street was this huge German shepherd. I

17:04

had seen him around the neighborhood many times, and

17:06

on this day he was dozing in someone's front yard,

17:09

basking in the morning heat. There

17:11

was a man walking on the sidewalk right past

17:14

the dog. He seemed nervous, but kind

17:16

of angry too. Without warning,

17:18

the dog leapt up from its slumber ran

17:20

towards the fence. No, no, this

17:22

won't work. It

17:25

jumped up, but it couldn't clear it, so

17:27

it just stood and barked wildly at this guy.

17:30

Rather than move on or pacify the dog,

17:33

he hit the fence aggressively and just taunted

17:35

the dog. The German shepherd was

17:37

furious. This whole thing isn't right.

17:40

It buttered against the wire fence, growling.

17:43

It's spit was all over the hot ground. The

17:46

man laughed as he walked away and disappeared

17:48

around the corner. My mother made

17:50

me cross the road, and slowly we made our way

17:53

towards the angry beast. I didn't

17:55

want to go anywhere near it.

17:59

I couldn't have nderstand why she would want to put us in danger

18:01

like that. She tapped

18:04

the fence lightly and bent down to the

18:06

dog's level. Tentative

18:08

at first, but eventually the dog stopped

18:10

barking came over to my mother. It

18:13

pushed its head into the fence and my mother

18:15

rubbed its head. She turned

18:17

to me and she said, Brian, would

18:19

you like to pat him? Only

18:22

moments ago this thing looked like it would feast

18:24

on my blood. Now it was relaxed,

18:27

docile, and before I could stop

18:29

myself, my hand was moving toward

18:31

it. Right before

18:33

I touched the dog's fur, my ears

18:36

buzzed with the tension, and then

18:38

the dog was resting its head on the fence, pushing

18:41

against my forearm.

18:43

You see, my mother said, dogs

18:45

can pick up on vibrations. It

18:47

could read a situation or a person immediately.

18:52

She had a hard job tearing me away from that dog.

18:56

I wanted to stay there forever. It

18:58

was all I could see in my mind eyes. I stood

19:00

in gold Star Studios years later. It

19:03

was the day of the Beach boys were cutting my song good

19:05

Vibrations. It was completely

19:08

silent in the studio. I

19:10

walked around. Eight or nine

19:12

musicians stood there watching me, hardly

19:14

breathing. Do you hear

19:16

that? I asked that. No

19:20

one replied, it's not it's

19:22

not right. I said, it's just not right.

19:25

No, no, this won't work. I

19:28

moved to the wall and touched the paneling nothing.

19:32

Then I put my ear to the wall. All

19:35

I heard was dumb, dumb,

19:38

dumb, dumb,

19:40

dumb, dumb, dumb,

19:43

dumb dumb, dumb,

19:47

dumb dumb. I

19:49

pulled my head off the wall quickly and turned

19:52

to face everyone that They were all looking

19:54

at me with white eyes full of expectation.

19:57

No, no, this won't work, I said, I'm

20:00

canceling this session. I'm sorry, everyone, pack

20:02

up. This isn't right. The

20:05

vibrations aren't right, the vibrations

20:07

aren't right, and we can't hit the music in Chuck

20:11

Britts my recording engineer begged

20:13

me to reconsider. He told me I had

20:15

wasted fifty dollars already wasted.

20:19

I said to him, wasted. We're

20:21

making a pocket symphony here. Stuff

20:24

like this takes time. I explained

20:26

to him that everything had to be just right

20:28

in these sessions, how we were creating

20:31

something we've never made before, something

20:33

that no one had ever made before. I

20:36

told him how I wanted this to be like a

20:38

Beach Boys Gershwin movement,

20:41

but with Phil Specter's production.

20:44

No better than Phil Specter.

20:46

You hear that Phil. I

20:49

wanted this to be something that would challenge

20:51

the Beatles to be better. I wanted those

20:53

lads in Liverpool to hear and feel

20:56

how I felt when I heard Robert Soul for

20:58

the first time. It took

21:00

a while to get the song right. Of course. I

21:03

stitched together a lot of ideas feels

21:06

as I called them together, you

21:08

know, to make a song. We

21:11

recorded it like that too, all in blocks.

21:14

It took months and yes, a

21:16

lot of money. I guess Check was right

21:18

about that, but I didn't mind. I knew

21:20

we were onto something. Can anyone else feel

21:22

that everything

21:25

came together on that track? It's full

21:27

of good ideas, and not just from me.

21:29

My brother Carl suggested the cello, and

21:32

we had the inventor of the electro thereman

21:35

Paul Tanner, playing his instrument

21:37

on the track. The music

21:39

came together slowly, but it was like

21:41

being born. It was a process.

21:44

It had to be the lyrics,

21:46

though they were even harder. Tony

21:49

Asher had written some good words to go with mine,

21:52

but I wasn't that happy with them. To be

21:54

honest, this whole thing isn't right.

21:57

We had the good, good, good vibration

22:00

and bit, but not a whole lot

22:02

else. It needed something, but

22:04

I didn't know what it. Turns

22:06

out, I didn't have far to look. I

22:09

was at the piano again in the studio

22:11

one day, a little high again.

22:14

I was just playing the song on the keys,

22:16

thinking of all its different moving parts, singing

22:19

what little lyrics I had that I liked. And

22:21

that's when Mike Love came in. Is

22:23

this the song you were talking about? He asked, Sure,

22:26

I answered, Vibrations,

22:28

he asked. I told him

22:31

about the encounter with the dog and what it meant

22:33

to me, And as I did, his whole face started

22:35

to change. He got so excited.

22:38

You're right, he said, there's vibrations

22:41

everywhere. This is what's happening down in San

22:43

Francisco, the peace and love movement

22:45

down there. This is it, Brian. It's

22:48

all about vibrations, the feelings in the air.

22:51

It has to be right. He

22:54

grabbed a pen from the top of the piano scribbled

22:57

something on his arm. I hadn't seen

22:59

him like that. Ages so

23:01

creatively inspired. We didn't really

23:03

discuss it after that. He kind

23:05

of kept me in the dark until we were all

23:07

in CBS Columbia Square ready

23:10

to record the vocals. I was

23:12

a bit anxious, thinking maybe he'd

23:14

given up on it, But something incredible

23:16

happened when we all got together. We

23:18

were all standing around at the microphone. Then

23:21

Mike finally walked in. Are we

23:23

ready, he asked, holding up a legal

23:25

pad. He later told me he'd written

23:27

the final draft of the lyrics in the car on the

23:29

way to the studio. I should

23:31

have guessed they were so fresh. When

23:34

I heard the vocals that day, complete with Mike's

23:36

new words, my mind raised. If

23:38

this was how the next album was going to sound,

23:41

it was going to blow everyone's minds. I

23:44

was wrong, though, I wouldn't

23:46

blow everyone's mind just

23:49

mine.

24:19

Louis Epstein walks down Hollywood Boulevard,

24:22

gazing up at the street lamps adorned with

24:24

multicolored Christmas lights. He

24:26

stops and looks up at them properly before

24:28

catching himself. He cannot be late

24:30

today. He has to be at work on time.

24:33

Today one of his regulars is coming in, and

24:36

this one is a V I P. He

24:40

sees the huge sign come into view

24:42

as he briskly navigates the sidewalk.

24:44

The words Pickwick Books dominate this

24:47

section of the street. Louis feels

24:49

a sense of pride when he sees them,

24:51

and moments later he's unlocking the front door

24:53

and stepping into the shop, with a familiar

24:55

fragrance of old books greets him, as it does

24:57

every day. It smells like home.

25:01

Epstein turns on the shops radio and

25:04

the sound of kf w B filsy

25:06

air. He sits behind the counter and

25:08

waits. He doesn't know what time it will happen,

25:10

but he knows it will happen. It's

25:13

not until the afternoon that he hears

25:15

the corvette pull up outside, and

25:17

as if by design, when the man steps

25:19

out of the car, kf w B begins

25:22

to play a California Girls. As

25:24

the man enters the shop, he shoots Epstein

25:27

a smile. That's a great song, he

25:29

says, you should know. Epstein

25:31

replies, he

25:33

watches as Brian Wilson heads for the

25:35

health section. Almost every week

25:38

Brian visits the store, and almost

25:40

every week he goes straight to that section. He's

25:43

always buying books on physiology,

25:45

which Epstein never knows how to take. Is

25:48

this a joke? Is it a cry for help? The

25:50

rumors of Wilson's drug taking and radical

25:52

behavior have made l a showbiz gossip

25:55

groups, and there's also talk that

25:57

Brian is turning his famous group into a psychedelic

25:59

rock band. Epstein

26:02

can believe it because today Brian holds

26:04

a copy of Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell

26:06

Maltz, which he clutches tightly to his chest.

26:11

Epstein usually leaves his special guests

26:13

alone, but today he can't help it.

26:16

With the Beach Boys song still playing on the radio,

26:18

he feels he can do what he never does. Engaged,

26:21

the star Jeezy says, instantly

26:24

regretting his choice of words, I just

26:26

love California Girls. It's swell you

26:29

like that one? Brian replies, They

26:31

all like that one, Epstein

26:34

babbles on about pianos, chords

26:36

and harmonies, and Brian doesn't reply.

26:38

Epstein changes the subject starts

26:40

talking about the Beatles, the Birds, Dylan, but

26:43

Brian seems even less engaged. What

26:46

Louis Epstein mistakes in that moment as rudeness

26:48

from his famous customer is actually

26:50

a chemical reaction in the brain. The

26:53

moment Epstein mentions California

26:55

girls, Brian gets a feeling. It

26:58

starts small at the back of his head, but

27:00

it grows like a fire, spreading to his

27:02

whole brain. Epstein talks

27:04

and talks, but Brian's mind can't

27:07

process what's being said. At

27:09

first, it's just dizziness, but after

27:11

a few seconds, Brian feels his

27:13

eyes blur. He looks at

27:15

the copy of Psycho Cybernetics in his

27:17

hands, and the letters begin to move

27:20

around the page. Seconds later,

27:22

the book feels like it's vibrating in his hands.

27:24

He blinks quickly to try to snap out

27:26

of it, but it only makes it worse. As

27:29

he looks up to the rows of books from the floor

27:31

to the ceiling, they all start to melt

27:33

like candle wax, and the spines

27:36

merge together. The colors running, a sludgy

27:38

mass of blue, red, green, and orange

27:40

that slides down the walls. He

27:43

flashes back to writing California Girls

27:46

at the piano, he hears the notes

27:48

ring in his ears b F

27:50

sharp, G sharn. He doesn't

27:52

know what is happening. He just knows he's terrified.

27:57

California Girls is no longer playing on the raid

28:00

you, but it continues to ring in his ears.

28:02

He smashes his hand against his head, trying to

28:04

get rid of the sound, and as he does, he

28:06

knocks himself off balance. He stumbles

28:09

and falls into a bookshelf. He's sinking

28:11

in the dripping colors of wax, like he's

28:13

surrounded by thick water. California

28:16

Girl sounds distant now. Brian struggles

28:18

to breathe. He thinks, this is it?

28:21

What is it? A heart attack, a

28:23

stroke, a brain aneurysm.

28:26

He closes his eyes and accepts his fate.

28:29

But when he opens his eyes, Epstein

28:31

is standing over him. The shop owner's

28:33

face looks jumbled and elongated. It

28:36

reminds him of his favorite Edward Monk painting.

28:39

The words coming from Epstein's mouth are

28:41

delayed, and Brian watches his lips

28:43

move, but it's a few seconds before

28:45

the sound comes through. Are you okay?

28:47

Epstein as Brian tries

28:50

to nod but doesn't know if he manages

28:52

it. Are you on something, man? We can get

28:54

a doctor. Brian manages

28:56

to say no, and he hears the word reverbery,

28:59

adding to a faint sound of California

29:01

girls in his mind. Epstein

29:04

lowers his voice a little. Are you sure you

29:06

haven't taken any acid? Not

29:08

for a while? Brian responds, somehow,

29:10

managing to form the words. Epstein

29:13

asked if he's ever had a flashback, but it's

29:15

too late. Brian's eyes are closing,

29:18

and then his body shuts down.

29:24

When he wakes up, he's at home in bed.

29:26

The melting colors from the shop are blurred

29:28

in his eyes still, but as he slowly

29:31

regains focus, he realizes it's

29:33

the Christmas lights on the tree in front of

29:35

him. He looks to his right

29:37

on the nightstand. It's that copy of Psycho

29:40

Cybernetics. Inside the front

29:42

cover has written a note that reads, this

29:44

one's on the house, Louis Epstein.

29:47

Brian lays back down and watches the Christmas

29:50

lights twinkle. He thinks of the things

29:52

he saw on the bookstore. Worried

29:54

I'll have a similar experience again. He

29:57

pulls the duvet cover up over his face.

30:00

The funk is going on. He doesn't

30:02

know the answer to his own question, but

30:04

he suspects it's about to put

30:07

a whole lot of blood on

30:09

the tracks. Blood

30:25

on the Tracks is produced by Double Elvis

30:27

in partnership with I Heart Radio. It's

30:29

hosted an executive produced by me Jake

30:32

Brennan, also executive produced

30:34

by Brady Sadly. Zeth Lundy is

30:36

lead editor and producer. This episode

30:38

was written by Ben Burrow, mixing

30:41

and sound designed by Colin Fleming. Additional

30:44

music and score elements by Ryan Spraaker.

30:47

This season features Chris Anzaloni is the

30:49

voice of Brian Wilson. Sources

30:51

for this episode are available at Double Elvis

30:53

dot com on the Blood in the Tracks series page.

30:56

Follow Double Elvis on Instagram at double

30:58

Elvis and on Twitch at Graceland

31:01

Talks, and you can talk to me per Usual

31:03

on Instagram and Twitter at disgrace

31:05

Land Pod, Rock and Roll, Dike

31:20

Crazy, her

31:22

Dad,