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I've always been told that love will show up wearing either blue or pink, requiring one of each color in order for there to be a true link.

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But as I look around my city, I love the color fusions that surround me.

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Shades and hues mixing, creating new colors that are primary.

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So I will keep on resisting anyone who tries to limit my expression of love, letting rainbows remind me that my attraction is painted in the heavens above that rainbow tribe!

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Dang girl. How can I even begin to introduce such a vibrant human, Heather Beamish, Heather, Heather, Heather, I, Charlie gray, am so excited for you to meet her here on today's shorter episode of Body and Wine: Conversations on Sex and Spirituality.

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Heather is speaking her truth through poetry, spoken word and writing.

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There's so much for us to take in and talk about on today's episode.

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We are blessed with the rhythms of her spoken word.

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In the following minutes sink into Heather's reflections on gender, attraction, love, Jesus, diversity and more.

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At some point I'll play a clip for you from our upcoming full interview out November sixth, where Heather dives into her coming out story or leaving church story for finding Jesus...

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Where story? You'll have to stay tuned in to find out all this and more today and next episode here on Body and Wine....

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So I'm super excited to be a part of one of the Body in Wine Conversations and just to highlight some of the poetry that I've done in the past.

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I want to share a few pieces with you. I like to write poetry and these are just some pieces that I've grabbed out that have to do just with attraction and spirituality and gender and all of those fun things.

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So I hope you enjoy... You were created with a tender elegance and an unforgettable beauty.

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Your glittering curves were forged in the fires of lonely discovery.

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Cosmic hands were commissioned to design the deep wells of diversity that define your attractions.

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Your binary was not meant to be contained.

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Your tender heart and fearless strides, inspire movements of liberation.

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All of the swirls and shapes of your embodied expression are needed and celebrated.

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Your essence is timeless.

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Your presence is fragrant.

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You are magic and mystery perfected.

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Woo! To be honest, I kind of wrote that one for myself, you know, one of those days where you just needed, uh, I needed to remind myself what was up.

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So yeah, Here is poem numermo, tres...

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Playful glances, holding hands, late night snuggles, weekend plans, chemistry bubbling, signals green, best friends and lovers- is this a dream?

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Oh, you're straight. Next poem.

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My vibrant inner colors seep through the thin layer of flesh that veil them.

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These days I'm memorizing the chants that say my differences, a rare gem...

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Ignoring the cynics that try to make you conform or condemn.

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Besides, in what world are rainbows and unicorns scary?

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I went to a Bible school in the States and it was, oh man, it's very narrow.

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Yes you've gotta be able to like exogesis to be able to like write sermons and council but mainly just be able to have the information so that you can pass and get ordained.

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Really we just want to have more lworkers in the field.

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The fishers. Yeah. Fisherman. Yeah.

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Holy smokes.

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So like even more than really getting deep understanding on the full breadth of scripture, it was very much like let's drill in these core beliefs.

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Problematic.

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Very, there was so much abuse of power and now coming from like having a greater understanding of my identity like as a black queer woman, I look back at some of the things that happened and the way that platforms were used in the name of the gospel and I was just like can't help but cringe on like a spiritual level right at the things and like you are, you have or call yourself like messengers and people- men and women- well- mainly men of God.

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It's just like so such a such a horrible abuse of power.

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Sketchy use of money that was on even when I was in the church like that was so hard for me to stomach.

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And like sitting behind the curtains.

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Yeah, I've seen a lot. A lot of the like misuse of money.

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Yeah and it was just like I don't like what brings you through that?

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Like in terms of coping or anchoring or I felt like chosen family, community, finding community elsewhere.

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I was, I left feeling very shaken and disillusioned because I was so wrapped up like these people were my world, you know, like for years and everything.

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You did everything together. Yeah. Yeah. And I was always the kind of the, the star kid and like what I was like, I went to Bible school and like my grandfather was pastor, my grandfather, his father's a pastor.

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I was always doing lineage. Yeah.

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And then to be all of a sudden on the outskirts and like not even welcome home or it was just like very shaking.

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But I got into a place with my own journey that I was like my mental health, my physical health, like I was just not in a good place and I was just like, I, this is not the kind of life that I, that was before you came out or that was at the place...

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Cool. Cool. And um, this is my last one.

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So this is actually, part of a bigger piece, but I just pulled out, cause the, the spoken word piece is pretty long, but just pulled out a segment of it.

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It's just talking about kind of like why I'm still a spiritual, why I still have chosen the Jesus way.

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Why if someone were to ask me today, I would still say that I'm a Christian.

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Um, and this kind of for me, uh, is helps to explain why I still respect Jesus, why I still follow like his examples, and something that I can model myself after.

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So he'll go, I tried the do it yourself approach to becoming a better version of me and quickly learned that what I needed someone I could model myself after someone I could see, which is why his example has forever changed me....

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You see, he surrendered his privilege, and power to elevate marginalized voices.

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He was counter-cultural and subversive with each and every one of his choices.

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He came to earth and embodied how perfect love would interact with my humanity.

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His commitment to love and inclusion highlighted the core essentials for Christianity.

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He was courageously vulnerable, nurturing, and bold.

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He spoke truth to power and accepted everyone into his fold.

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Messy people never made him uncomfortable or nervous.

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He stood up for what he cared for. It was never just lip service.

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This, this is why I have chosen to let my guard down and lean into a power that makes all new.

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This is why I won't walk away from a God who enters into my darkness to guide me through these seeds of fire, this resilient life that won't be a boarded each decision to keep showing up.

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My community that keeps me supported new every day we are being made new.

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Whew. That's it. That's all@ So excited to be with you again next week in the full version of the podcast.

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Love what the Body and Wine Podcast is doing.

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Keep on tuning in. Keep on having these important conversations.

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Thank you so much. Blessings.

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So much gratitude for Heather for sharing her journey with us in such powerful and open ways.

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Be sure to check out her longer story again out November 6 2019 she shares much more of her life in community, in church, the detangling from the hold and hurt of stubborn theologies and the hard but beautiful road of healing and finding love and acceptance.

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In curious ways, check out Heather on Instagram@heatsbeam.

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I'll link it in the page notes. And- do you have a story to tell, a poem opinion using to share about anything related to the broad topics of sexuality and spirituality?

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Send over up to 10 minutes of audio recording of your voice.

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Questions, ramblings, knowledge to Body and Wine and we'll include in our episodes as we are able and at our discretion.

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Don't know if yours will fit? Don't be shy- let's chat about it.

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Send all queries and submissions to the show's email [email protected] Gray is spelled with an'A.' I'll also link in the page notes and P S if you don't have a good mic, don't sweat.

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iPhones and other phones work great for audio recording in a quiet room.

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Doesn't have to be fancy, folks- we got you.

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And one last thing. If you're enjoying what you hear, please consider checking out Body and Wine's Patreon page, patreon.com/bodyandwinepodcast.

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Monthly donations of$1$5 or$25 will help support the costs associated with the project.

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Either way, please share episodes and our Instagram@bodyandwinepodcast with friends and social media networks.

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Let's break down those taboos! Booya! That's all friends.